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The Struggle to Juggle: Pandemic Parenting Survival Guide For
Working Parents
Dr. Rebecca Pillai Riddell, C.Psych.
Associate Vice-President Research
Director, OUCH Laboratory
York University
Birth - Make the Connection
Toddlerhood -Make the Connection &
Parenting for Life
School years –Kids Have Stress Too!
Adolescence –Stress Lessons
Adults - Stress Strategies
The Psychology Foundation of CanadaOur Mission: Nurturing Resilience in Children and Youth
Practical, evidence-based programs spanning critical development stages
KHST! and Stress Lessons programs are evidence-based programs that are youth-centred and inquiry-based to teach tangible stress-management strategies and skills and build emotional resiliency in children and youth, both in and out of the classroom.
You will learn how to help children and youth:
• recognize the signs and symptoms of stress
• understand what stress feels like
• develop/implement coping and problem-solving strategies
• foster an increased sense of well-being
Kids Have Stress Too!® and Stress
Lessons
Dr. Rebecca Pillai Riddell is a registered clinical psychologist and scientist who uses simple language and humour to help ensure scientific evidence gets into the hands of everyone who can use it! She spends her days as Associate Vice-President Research at York University and is the Director of the Opportunities to Understand Childhood Hurt Lab or OUCH LAB- a lab dedicated to better understanding how caregivers influence young children’s pain responses in medical settings.
My Professional
Life
My
Professional
Life taking
into account
being a
Mother
My Professional
Life taking into
account being a
Mother during
COVID-19
Pandemic
We are being asked to make the impossible possible
In the context of widespread stress, relentless pandemic media coverage, fear, economic challenge and even apathy, parents are asked to achieve:
• Full-time work PLUS
• Full-time caregiving PLUS
• Added pandemic life responsibilities
• Women may be paying a higher career price to keep families afloat.
KEEPING YOUR BALLS IN THE AIR
HARNESSING YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL STRENGTHS
REAL STRESSORS
Yerkes & Dodson, 1908; Broadhurst, 1957, Lupien et
al., 2007
FOLDING LAUNDRY, DELETING JUNK EMAILS
ANYTHING INVOLVING GETTING CHILDREN TO DO ANYTHING
REAL BARRIERS
CAREGIVING IN A
PANDEMIC FACT
The more a child needs
you, the less you can do
Hierarchy of Needs, Maslow, 1943
Stressors are
typically:
• Novel
• Unpredictable
• Uncontrollable
The very definition
of our pandemic!
Our cups runneth over…
SO…YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU CAN DO!
You can’t control the stressors but you can control your stress!
ALL OR NOTHING THOUGHT
I have children at home with no daycamps
during a pandemic therefore I cannot make
any research progress
I feel stressed,
depressed, guilty, angry
and low energy leading
to feeling low self-
esteem and self-
efficacy
I lay on the couch, eat junk
food that feels oh so good
and binge Netflix.
Watson, Ellis, Beck, Ellis, Meichenbaum
REAL SOLUTION
I have young children at home with
no daycare during a pandemic
therefore I accept a smaller
number of ‘have to do’s’
I feel less
stressed and
have more
energy
I take big tasks,
break them into smaller
tasks and I do them
Beck, Burns
REAL SOLUTION-2
FOCUS ONWHAT YOU
CAN DO
Harnessing my Psychological Strength for Parenting
• Kids ‘lower level’ needs come first, no matter what (food, safety, love)
• Weekday packed lunches to avoid messes and keep nutrition up
• Prioritizing aspects of kid progress (e.g. French over math)
• Forgiveness through acceptance
• CBT Therapy
• Asking more of my kids (housework, waiting for our lunch dates)
Becca’s Daily M.E.S.S.• MOVE
• Elliptical• Walking around my house during meetings/Standing
• EAT• Maintaining condition-related diet• I like junk food so I make room for it• Ordering fruits and veg I like due to ease of online ordering
• SLEEP• Getting my sleep needs met• Setting bedtime alarm • Ban screens in the bedroom
• STRESS• Online CBT Therapist• Pandemic positives• Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Shut downs• “Friend” time
Pillai Riddell, 2020
https://www.who.int/campaigns/connecting-the-world-
to-combat-coronavirus/healthyathome/healthyathome---
healthy-parenting
https://who.canto.global/s/OMTT2?viewIndex=0
GOOGLE: Pandemic Parenting WHO
Pandemic
Parenting Support
World Health
Organization
The Pandemic Stressors are Very, Very Real but the STRESS you experience can be controlled…
No one can de-pandemic your life
YOU have the power to change how the
pandemic makes you think, act, and feel
about your life.
Acceptance is key, better parenting will
follow
Breathe