the student 20/03/2012

Tuesday March 20 2012 | Week 9

S I N C E 1887 T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ERS cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010

Kony 2012 campaign

STEP

HEN

MA

UG

HA

NZI

NIN

G C

UI

� urston Smalley

WEEK OF Action events held last week by the Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) were hindered by poor publicity and over-scheduling, � e Student has learned.

� e Week of Action, a National Union of Students (NUS) idea geared towards raising awareness of student opposition to increased tuition fees and other grievances, saw low attendance at the University of Edinburgh and barely any participation in its fl agship event, the student walkout. EUSAUndergraduate Representative James McAsh told � e Student: “� e Week of Action has had limited success in raising awareness but

INSIDE: Who should you vote for in the EUSA elections? p4-5

didn’t really live up to its potential.“I believe that the problem was lack

of publicity and advertising. To make campaigns like this successful, it’s vital that it is built properly from an early stasge so that everyone knows about it, and this was not done adequately.”

EUSA Academic Services Convenor Hugh Murdoch told � e Student he had a more optimistic outlook.

He said, “� e Week of Action, has, I think, been a really good event.

"It was always going to be tough to get people out for it, but that’s why we organised events that were focused on increasing awareness of ideas and also using a small group of campaigners to make a big impact.”

Murdoch had earlier pledged to collect 90 per cent of the Easter Bush veterinary campus’s student signatures by the end of the Week of Action, in order to petition for a free Easter Bush bus. He confi rmed he had been successful.

Murdoch also drew a contrast between the organisation of the Easter Bush bus campaign and the organisation of the Week of Action. He said, “We’ve been going out for a few months or so to get signatures for that petition. I started that up in January, and we’ve gotten over 500 signatures.

"But that was very much about getting students involved in that campaign ...at the level they were happy

with.”“� at only required a few students to

be running the campaign. So I think we were very aware that there weren’t going to be a lot of people coming out to do the heavy stuff this week, but I do think we’ve made a really big impact.”

Despite low turnout at last week’s events, EUSA hopes to learn lessons from the Week of Action and will continue to take part in and organise similar local events.

McAsh told � e Student, “� is year wasn’t perfect but that’s not because it was a bad idea but because it wasn’t executed as well as it maybe could have been.

"I would hope that in future years

Week of action disappointsmore is made of such things so that they can be truly successful.

“� e Week of Action [had] huge potential which was not fully reached.”

Murdoch reiterated that he believed the Week of Action had made an impact, and said it had been more productive than travelling to take part in larger events.

Murdoch said, “It will be up to the Student Council to decide what action we support [in the future].

“I think that local action like this is something we could be doing much more successfully than big national action.”

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT - P14

� e Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJEmail: [email protected]

Stephen Maughan

BRISTO SQUARE was the scene of a student walkout and rally planned by the Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) on Wednesday, 14 March to protest against tuition fee increases.

The rally was part of Eusa’s Week of Action, which ran from 12 to 16 March.

However, students seemed unwill-ing to leave their lectures and the demonstration attracted fewer than 20 protestors.

Larger crowds were clearly expect-ed, as numerous police officers had been deployed to survey the protest and the unofficial Facebook group for the NUS walkout showed widespread enthusiasm.

To raise awareness of tuition fees,the attendants of the rally sport-

What’s in this issue »NEWS »p1-5

COMMENT »p8-9

FE ATURES »p11-13YOU SPIN ME ROUND LIKE A RECORD p11Cameron Taylor questions whether the Guiness World Record winners are innovative or imbeciles.

QUAICH OR QUICHE? p27- 28Davie Heaton and Chris Waugh watch a thrilling Varsity Day.

I'D TAP THAT p24Will Kemp enters the fray of Battle of the Bands.

SPORT »p27-28

THE BALLOT BUNCH p4-5EUSA sabbatical offi cer candidates explain why you should vote for them.

FRESHEN' UP p 9Maria Kheyfets has some ideas on how to refresh the university staple of Freshers' Week.

SCIENCE &ENVIRONMENT » p14-15

FILM »p22-23GEORGE CLOONEY ARRESTED p22Dan Scott Lintott argues that actors should use their celebrity for political activism. Plus a sexy photo of George Clooney.

MUSIC »p24-25

LOSS FOR WORDS p12Nina Bicket examines the cultural implications of preserving endangered languages.

HARD TO BELIEVE p14Lindsey Robinson hypothesises that just because you're a scientist doesn't mean you're an atheist.

"MEN AND WOMEN CAN'T BE FRIENDS" p17Tom Hasler discusses the tricky friend zone of male and female friendships.

LIFESTYLE »p17

EUSA walkout “a bit of a fl op”ed stickers boldly stating how much money they were required to pay un-der the current system.

Despite the low turnout, the pro-testors seemed undeterred.

James Bevan, a first year geogra-phy student, told The Student why he was attending this protest.

He said, “Fees shouldn’t be a bar-rier to [university] education.”

One key organiser of this protest and the Week of Action as a whole, EUSA President Matt McPher-son, spoke to The Student about the Week.

He said, “We’re trying to support the National Union of Students’ week of action by localising national issues [like] the privatisations of our uni-versities and higher education sector.

“[This] is something which is causing national outcry … and is having an impact on students at Edinburgh now.

"We have to do more to try and improve it for our students here now.”

McPherson also said that while the walkout and rally had been “a bit of a flop,” EUSA were making significant headway from previous events carried out during the Week of Action and remained confident of the success of future events.

“[The university secretary has] received a petition from 500 vet-erinary medicine students calling for a free Easter Bush bus, which the university principle has been made aware of, so we’re moving forward on negotiations with that.

“Yesterday, we spoke to loads of students about accommodation and tomorrow we’ll be talking about course costs at the Edinburgh Col-lege of Art and on Friday we’ll be raising awareness for how high fees are for lots of our students.”

Brief respite for arts communitySam Bradley

EDINBURGH COUNCIL has canceled controversial plans that would force artists hosting free events in the city to pay for a Public Entertainment License (PEL).

Following a meeting of the Licensing Committee at the Council Chambers on 9 March, the Council clarified its position in a public statement.

Councillor Rob Munn said, “I and my fellow councillors have listened intently to what has been said and taken on board public opinion. Edinburgh is one of the most culturally-vibrant cities in the world and we want that to continue.

“Some events - such as art exhibitions, charitable functions and poetry readings - can go ahead as they do now, without a licence.”

“All free to enter public entertainment events still require to

be licensed from April 1 but we are doing everything in our power to minimise the impact this will have.”

The Council has now launched a 28-day consultation that will enable them to find a way to make small events legally exempt from the licensing laws.

Neil Cooper, arts journalist and organiser of the Edinburgh campaign opposing the introduction of licenses, said, “The Edinburgh ‘Stop Public Entertainment Licence Changes’ campaign welcomes the positive outcome of their deputation to CEC’s Regulatory Committee on March 9th 2012, at which the public gallery was standing room only.

“The campaign also […] looks forward to it being implemented following a consultation period which the campaign encourages all of Edinburgh’s creative community to take full part in.”

The issue was raised in First Minister’s Question Time on 8

March, when Malcolm Chisholm, Labour MSP for Edinburgh North and Leith, asked about the Scottish government’s position.

Alex Salmond responded, “We expect them to take account of the impact on cultural activity and small scale events in their areas in order to continue to support the fantastic individual, grass-root and community based artistic talent we have in Scotland.”

As of 1 April, all councils in Scotland will be legally required to license events considered ‘public entertainment’.

The change follows alterations to the 1982 Civic Government (Scotland) Act that occurred in 2010, following the Criminal Justice and Licensing Act (Scotland).

City of Edinburgh Council hopes to manoeuvre around the provisions of the Act and allow grassroots cultural events in Edinburgh to continue as usual.

Discovery may aid toxic waste disposalNina Seale

RESEARCHERS AT the University of Edinburgh have produced a previ-ously unseen uranium molecule that may help clean up nuclear waste.

The butterfly-shaped molecule may be the key to understanding how radioactive waste forms ‘clusters’ that are difficult to separate.

If the role of the butterfly mol-ecule in the ‘clusters’ can be under-stood, then researchers could use this information to try to make efficient separating agents that would improve the costly clean-up of nuclear waste.

The paper was published in Na-ture Chemistry and describes how the molecule was produced by reacting a nitrogen and carbon based material with a common uranium compound.

Edinburgh scientists worked alongside researchers from the US and Canada to verify the structure of the compound using mathematical and chemical tests.

Professor Polly Arnold, of the University’s School of Chemistry, ex-plained to The Student, “What it does is provide a new type of geometry that combines two uraniums in one molecule in a shape that no one had predicted could even exist, let alone be as stable as we’ve shown it to be.

“The coming together of uraniums is part of the clustering processes that are known to occur and cause prob-lems with nuclear waste separations.

"This fundamentally new type of clustering might have been over-looked in the complex mixtures in real-life situations, and so our model compounds might help people to make better separation agents, and avoid such clustering in the future.”

“The problem of nuclear waste is a huge factor in preventing us from switching from using fossil fuels to nuclear power.

"Everything used in a nuclear power plant that has come into con-tact with radiation, from protective clothing, cooling water, fuel rods and tools, must be stored safely so the

radiation will not be absorbed by the surrounding elements and make its way into the ecosystem.”

Research to try and minimise the decay rate of nuclear waste is incred-ibly important. This breakthrough about the structure of nuclear waste could make a big difference in de-creasing waste volume.

Ultimately, all radioactive materi-als used by nuclear power plants could be recovered, made safe and even used again to pave the way for clean power generation. This study, funded by the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council, the EastCHEM partnership and the University of Edinburgh, is an important step to-wards this goal.

PETR

KRA

TOC

HVI

L

FILTHY: These cloud spouts are always chundering out nuclear waste

Tuesday March 20 2012 studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

2 News@EdStudentNews

Cheating amongst university students surges nationwide

� e dark side of student club promotion

Tuesday March 20 2012 [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

Sexist abuse, intimidation and unsafe work practices experienced by promoters� urston Smalley

INTERVIEWS CONDUCTED by The Student last week reveal split opinion amongst club promoters about the safety of their jobs, while most responses downplayed or denied instances of abuse.

Some PR workers say they have experienced fear, intimidation and sexist abuse from passersby while on the job. Others say they have never felt unsafe while promoting their clubs on the street, though both groups almost consistently denied requests to be named in this article.

A female PR manager at a George Street nightclub who asked to remain anonymous, said that her main concern was that female PR staff were vulnerable to unwelcome attention from unpredictable groups of club goers.

She told The Student, “I feel that females get more male attention, especially in large groups, which can often lead to hints of sexual harassment.”

The isolated nature of club promotion that sees six to ten workers ‘divide and conquer’ their club’s street means that PR workers often have little support to draw upon if they are confronted by hostile individuals or groups.

The PR manager told The

NIGHT OUT: Students working as club promoters have experienced abuse whilst at work

Zoe Tautz-Davis

AN INVESTIGATION by � e Independent on Sunday has found a surge in the number of university students accused of cheating in exams and coursework.

Over the past three years, more than 45,000 students at 80 institutions have been disciplined, fi ned or even expelled for actions such as bringing notes or mobile phones into exams, plagiarising work and impersonating other candidates.

In the last academic year alone, 16,000 cases were reported and around 100 students were expelled from their institutions.

Out of the top 30 universities, ranked by the Independent’s Complete University Guide, � e University of Edinburgh came in ninth, with 96 cases reported – six of which were disciplined for cheating and ninety for plagiarism.

Of the 80 plus institutions asked, Greenwich University was the worst, with more than 900 cases of cheating reported, but twelve other universities reported at least one cheat every day.

Greenwich University was followed by London Metropolitan, which had the highest number of off ences last year. � en Sheffi eld Hallam, Leeds Metropolitan and Wolverhampton

make up the top fi ve.Some believe that cuts to university

funding will only make this worse. “From next September we expect to see cheating incidents rise,” said Tessa Byars, advice services manager at Anglia Ruskin University Students Union. “� e introduction of tuition fees will increase pressure and anxiety to get a good degree.”

Other experts claim that Tony Blair’s policy under the New Labour government is to blame, as increased access to higher education has left thousands of students underprepared

for university, lacking both the practical and intellectual skills required.

However, universities were quick to defend their students, saying that the inexperience is to blame for plagiarism.

� ey also insist that there is a growing number of students who enter university without suffi cient knowledge of proper citation and referencing, or who do not have a good understanding of English. � is can lead to unintentional plagiarism.

Another problem is the growing number of websites that off er

‘professional advice’ for student essay writing. For a fee, these companies can send students essays that have been created on the student’s terms: they can choose the title, word count, and even the grade they wish to achieve. � ese essays can be undetectable to institutions.

Liberal Democrat peer Lord Willis, who led an inquiry into the state of Britain’s universities three years ago, said that ministers must gain control over these essay-writing companies, and that a register of these companies should be imposed.

BriefIN

Skull found by students on CragsHUMAN REMAINS were found by two University of Edinburgh students on Salisbury Crags on 9 March.

Students Julie Aitken and Norah Binkerhof found the skull while climbing up the side of the hill on Friday afternoon.

Aitken told � e Student of her surprise at the the discovery, say-ing, “It was incredibly surreal and not something you expect to come across on a relaxing walk.

“It was also quite odd because the skull was really quite visible to anyone climbing up the hill.”

“I called the police and we wait-ed [about] 30 minutes for them to arrive…we waited with the skull until someone had climbed up to meet us which was really rather unsettling.”

� e police searched the area to recover the bones the following weekend, with the help of specially trained offi cers from the Ministry of Defence.

A police spokesman said, “Lothian and Borders Police are currently in attendance within Holyrood Park after what is be-lieved to be human remains were found by members of the public.”

“Offi cers from the Ministry of Defence police force are now as-sisting local police in recovering the items”.

Tests are being carried out in order to confi rm the origins of the remains.

MH

Bristol university fails to curb Freshers' Week

The University of Bristol has backed down in the face of recent student opposition to the re-structuring of Bristol's academic year.

The plans would have seen Freshers' Week, which usually lasts five days at the university, shortened to three.

However, strong opposition from the majority of the student body, which crystallised in a pe-tition organised by University of Bristol Union Vice-President Education Josh Alford, forced the University Senate to shelve plans indefinately.

Alford said in a statement: “At Senate today the paper passed with the amendment that Fresh-ers’ would not be shortened so we think we’ve managed to negoti-ate the best deal for students”.

The University had hoped to crack down on the culture of 'excessive drinking and clubbing' that permeates Freshers' festivi-ties.

A spokesman for the Univer-sity of Bristol said: “Students need to be inducted over a much longer period than a week, this is absolutely not to do with trying to curtail enjoyment or drinking. It’s to do with the rhythm of the academic year ”

SB

Student, “Because of the area my staff does promotional work on, George Street, it often provides a safe and comfortable environment for both male and female staff. Although this may be the case, we have had instances of individuals being put into unsafe environments through interactions with people.”

However, according to the PR manager, female promotion staff are not alone in victimisation at the hands of intoxicated revelers.

“I personally haven’t been targeted or threatened, but I have been around when other members of staff have. Surprisingly it usually is the male staff who are threatened by other groups of males who are intoxicated.”

A female PR worker for Shanghai Nightclub, George Street, who also asked to remain anonymous, told The Student that she had never seen any type of abuse on the job before.

She said, “I have PRed for aabout four months and it has been great fun. Personally I haven’t experienced any harassment or seen any darker side to PRing.”

She also rejected the idea that the gender of the PR worker determines the response they receive from passersby.

“I do Le Monde and outside

“ I feel that females get more male attention especially in large groups, which can often lead to hints of sexual harassment"

Anonymous PR manager

Shanghai some nights with [PR manager] Jamie and I would say there is no difference on how people treat me or him because if they want to stop and chat they will, but if not they will just tell you, ‘no’, they’re not interested or simply just ignore you. Gender doesn’t come into play.”

Sadie Kinnaird, a PR worker and barmaid for Frankenstein Pub on George IV Bridge Road, echoed the Shanghai promoter’s feelings about gender.

“I think people treat PRs depending on their first impressions of the PR, if they seem cool and outgoing they’re more likely to want to talk to them. If they seem shy or bored they’re not going to feel bad walking past, I don’t think it has much to do with gender.”

ALB

ERTO

GP1

23

CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER: Over 100 students have been expelled for exam duplicity

EMM

ILY

JARR

ETT

News 3

President: James WoodsWe attempted to get in touch with James Woods - when full details of his poli-cies emerge we'll cover it all at studentnewspaper.org

Meet the candidates: Potential EUSA sabbs

President: James McAshIt’s time to call our university’s priorities into question: there are too many examples of commercial interests taking preference over student welfare (like a halls in Pollock being used as hotels whilst students have to live out in Musselburgh). Students need to be the university’s top priority, so not only should we be involved in decision-making at all levels, we should all be able to make real changes regardless of if we’re a EUSA rep or not.Access to information is a problem. We need to ensure that students can easily access all relevant information – from lecture notes from courses we’re not enrolled in, to a full cross-campus listing of events on campus.

I also want to save students money. I have ideas for how to make textbooks, energy bills and food cheaper, and plans for providing art and cooking classes for free.I have been an active campaigner on a variety of issues in my time at Edinburgh: on the national organising committee for the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts, in a wide range of EUSA positions and in various societies. I have the experience needed to make these ideas a reality.Let’s make sure that student welfare takes priority over profi t and commercial interests and that students are able to shape every aspect of their time at univer-sity. To see more of my ideas, check out my full manifesto at jamesmcash.com.

VPS: Josh JonesI’m running because I want our ideas to shape our services. We’re cus-tomers but we’re also members of this association and I want to allow students to be active decision makers. I’m a third year Philosophy student who has been on the student council for a year - a year in which I’ve improved the induction process at our university; fought for better interna-tional student accommodation and successfully run a campaign for a Living Wage for EUSA staff in the recent referendum period.

My ideas involve a change of mindset in the way we look at services. � e best way to improve our Unions is to give students more of a say. I want to see better entertainment in our venues through student-led club nights; cheaper drinks in our Unions through introducing mid-week £2 drinks promotions; more space to relax on campus through a student-led cinema in Teviot; a celebra-tion of our local community through increased local investment. EUSA is about us and our decisions; if elected I’ll make sure our ideas shape our services.

I’m running because I want our ideas to shape our services. We’re cus-tomers but we’re also members of this association and I want to allow students to be active decision makers. I’m a third year Philosophy student who has been on the student council for a year - a year in which I’ve improved the induction process at our university; fought for better interna-tional student accommodation and successfully run a campaign for a Living

My ideas involve a change of mindset in the way we look at services. � e best way to improve our Unions is to give students more of a say. I want to see better entertainment in our venues through student-led club nights; cheaper drinks in our Unions through introducing mid-week £2 drinks promotions; more space to relax on campus through a student-led cinema in Teviot; a celebra-tion of our local community through increased local investment. EUSA is about us and our decisions; if elected I’ll make sure our

I’m running because I want our ideas to shape our services. We’re cus-tomers but we’re also members of this association and I want to allow students to be active decision makers. I’m a third year Philosophy student who has been on the student council for a year - a year in which I’ve improved the induction process at our university; fought for better interna-tional student accommodation and successfully run a campaign for a Living

VPS: Josh JonesVPS: Josh JonesVPS: Jacob Bloom� eldHi, I’m Jacob Bloomfield, a fourth year history & politics student. I’m running for vice president services because now, more than ever, students need a voice that

says ‘yes’ to otters, ‘yes’ to making Pokémon a reality and ‘yes’ to musical lecturers. Did you know that we are one of two universities in Scotland that do not have otter

petting zoos? � is has been the case for far too long, so I am fully committed to turning the Informatics building into an otter petting zoo. Don’t worry if you’re an Informat-

ics student, your degree will remain the same except it will be changed to ‘Otter Petting Studies’. Do you ever get depressed when you’re walking through tall grass and wild animals

that you can have as a pet who will fight for your amusement don’t appear? Well thanks to my ‘Make Pokémon Real’ policy, tall grass will be more exciting than ever. Do you ever wish your

lecturers would perform their lectures as a musical? If elected, I’ll force them to do it once a week. So, please, if you want to pet otters, make Pokémon real and more, please consider giving me your support.

VPS: Jacob Bloom� eldHi, I’m Jacob Bloomfield, a fourth year history & politics student. I’m running for vice president services because now, more than ever, students need a voice that





lecturers would perform their lectures as a musical? If elected, I’ll force them to do it once a week. So, please, if you want to pet otters, make Pokémon real and more, please consider giving me your

VPS: Jacob Bloom� eldHi, I’m Jacob Bloomfield, a fourth year history & politics student. I’m running for vice president services because now, more than ever, students need a voice that





lecturers would perform their lectures as a musical? If elected, I’ll force them to do it once a week. So, please, if you want to pet otters, make Pokémon real and more, please consider giving me your support.

VPS: Peter � ibaultApart from being involved in student politics, he is a 4th year International Relations student and has a part-time job at a restaurant in New Town. He spends the bulk of his free

time playing videogames or going to the gym and also enjoy going to gigs.

Peter is a fi rm believer that EUSA should be there for students all year, and not just during term because university should be about the journey. As such EUSA should work to promote student safety by having more bike racks and locker spaces and discounted taxis for students. Eating and drinking facilities can be improved by having a make-your-own sandwich bar to encourage healthy options as well as making take-away possible. Seasonal drink promotions should also be had to in-centivise celebrating in the unions. Student life should be improved by connecting students with other students: by having a EUSA carboot sale to sell on unwanted things, a EUSA fl atfi nder to help students with fl ats stay in them, and longer hours for the KB and Hospital buses to stop students being second-class travellers. All this and more can be found at his website: www.TotesFor� ibault.co.uk or check out his videos: youtu.be/ZOdy4F9l6hE & youtu.be/B-TkKvbPusg

VPS: Peter � ibaultVPS: Peter � ibaultApart from being involved in student politics, he is a 4th year International Relations Apart from being involved in student politics, he is a 4th year International Relations student and has a part-time job at a restaurant in New Town. He spends the bulk of his free



VPS: Peter � ibaultVPS: Peter � ibaultApart from being involved in student politics, he is a 4th year International Relations Apart from being involved in student politics, he is a 4th year International Relations student and has a part-time job at a restaurant in New Town. He spends the bulk of his free



VPS: John YoungsI’m John Youngs. I’m a Music Technology 4th year. I’m a musician, composer, DJ and Gig promoter. I have run the Teviot Lounge Jazz on Mondays for two years, played in bands (Le Salon du Jazz Refuse, TJ Muller and the Dixie Six) in Edinburgh for four and been Freshair.org.uk’s Head of Technical for two. I’ve been involved in running and performing in student art projects since I got to Edinburgh four years ago. It’s my passion, being creative and creating opportunities for others to do the same.I think EUSA should return to be the Social and Cultural Hub of Edinburgh’s student experi-ence. Its services should be there to platform anything and everything its members do. All student creativity should be encouraged, rewarded and showcased in our Student Unions. � ey should be lobbying against Cultural Performance Legislation changes, and trying to save every space we have (Bongo, Pleasance) for those who need it, Students. VPS should be someone who genuinely cares and wants to do the job all year round. Who believes in student creativity and has the experience to bring the best out of our services. And I think that’s me.

vote.johnyoungs.me

I’m John Youngs. I’m a Music Technology 4th year. I’m a musician, composer, DJ and Gig I’m John Youngs. I’m a Music Technology 4th year. I’m a musician, composer, DJ and Gig promoter. I have run the Teviot Lounge Jazz on Mondays for two years, played in bands (Le Salon du Jazz Refuse, TJ Muller and the Dixie Six) in Edinburgh for four and been Freshair.org.uk’s Head of Technical for two. I’ve been involved in running and performing in student art projects since I got to Edinburgh four years ago. It’s my passion, being creative and creating

I think EUSA should return to be the Social and Cultural Hub of Edinburgh’s student experi-ence. Its services should be there to platform anything and everything its members do. All student creativity should be encouraged, rewarded and showcased in our Student Unions. � ey should be lobbying against Cultural Performance Legislation changes, and trying to save every

VPS should be someone who genuinely cares and wants to do the job all year round. Who believes in student creativity and has the experience to bring the best out of our services. And I

should be lobbying against Cultural Performance Legislation changes, and trying to save every

VPS should be someone who genuinely cares and wants to do the job all year round. Who believes in student creativity and has the experience to bring the best out of our services. And I

President: James McAsh

President: Overall responsibility for the association, represents Edinburgh students by working with the university, local community groups and government.

� e potential EUSA sabbatical offi cers outline their policies to Alasdair Drennan

President: Hugh MurdochI’m running for President because as EUSA’s Academic Services Convener this year I’ve seen what students outside the EUSA bubble can do when they get involved. A facebook page I set up about study space was liked by 500 students and forced the University to grant 100 extra study spaces in the library. We’ve also seen this power in the campaign I started for a free bus for vets, who pay hundreds to get to their campus - with over 450 signatures this is a campaign we can win, and win through the eff orts of ordinary students. I want to be the President of a Eusa that embraces this amazing involvement, and uses it to achieve great things for students.

I know that if students work together we can achieve:• Personal exam feedback from your DoS• CCTV and better lighting in the Meadows• A Careers Fair with jobs you want� is is just a fraction of what students have told me they want, and of what I know, together, we can achieve.My campaign is only as strong as the ideas students like you contribute. Give me a call or drop me a text on 07720396098.

President: James McAshIt’s time to call our university’s priorities into question: there are too many examples of commercial interests taking preference over student welfare (like a halls in Pollock being used as hotels whilst students have to live out in Musselburgh). Students need to be the university’s top priority, so not only should we be involved in decision-making at all levels, we should all be able to make real changes regardless of if we’re a EUSA rep or not.Access to information is a problem. We need to ensure that students can easily access all relevant information – from lecture notes from courses we’re not enrolled in, to a full cross-campus listing of events on campus.

I also want to save students money. I have ideas for how to make textbooks, energy bills and food cheaper, and plans for providing art and cooking classes for free.I have been an active campaigner on a variety of issues in my time at Edinburgh: on the national organising committee for the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts, in a wide range of EUSA positions and in various societies. I have the experience needed to make these ideas a reality.Let’s make sure that student welfare takes priority over profi t and commercial interests and that students are able to shape every aspect of their time at univer-sity. To see more of my ideas, check out my full manifesto at jamesmcash.com.

President: James McAshPresident: James McAshPresident: James McAshI’m running for President because as EUSA’s Academic Services Convener this year I’ve seen what students outside the EUSA bubble can do when they get involved. A facebook page I set up about study space was liked by 500 students and forced the University to grant 100 extra study spaces in the library. We’ve also seen this power in the campaign I started for a free bus for vets, who pay hundreds to get to their campus - with over 450 signatures this is a campaign we can win, and win through the eff orts of ordinary students. I want to be the President of a Eusa that embraces this amazing involvement, and uses it to

� is is just a fraction of what students have told me they want, and of what I know,

My campaign is only as strong as the ideas students like you contribute. Give me

Access to information is a problem. We need to ensure that students can easily access all relevant information – from lecture notes from courses we’re not enrolled in, to

on the national organising committee for the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts, in a wide range of EUSA positions and in various societies. I have the

Tuesday March 20 2012 studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

4 News@EdStudentNews

Tuesday March 20 2012 [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

Vice President Academic A� airs (VPAA): Has direct responsibility for the Students’ Representative Council and matters of academic representation.

VPAA: Andrew BurnieI'm running because I want to put our education fi rst. I'm a big believer in student-led

action; my campaign against the shortened exam period empowered 1400 students through a petition, and forced the university to reverse its position. As a EUSA rep, I've expanded pod-casting and introduced online print credit - issues that came from students. If elected I'll continue to listen to what you want, and deliver the changes that improve our education.Accessibility - I believe education should be accessible to all. I'll make sure the University introduces bursaries to cover essential course costs, and introduce an

online advice place to anonymously support students with academic issues.Study Space - � e spaces in which we study are of vital importance. I'll make sure

places such as DHT and Hugh Robson are redeveloped to maximise the quality and quantity of study space.

Libraries - We deserve the highest quality libraries. I'll make sure there are more of each of the core texts you need in the Main Library Hub, and that computers there are updated and fast. I'll also ensure you can receive books from specialist libraries within 24 hours.

Vote Andrew Burnie - Putting Our Education First.

action; my campaign against the shortened exam period empowered 1400 students through a petition, and forced the university to reverse its position. As a EUSA rep, I've expanded pod-casting and introduced online print credit - issues that came from students. If elected I'll continue to listen to what you want, and deliver the changes that improve our education.Accessibility - I believe education should be accessible to all. I'll make sure the University introduces bursaries to cover essential course costs, and introduce an



Libraries - We deserve the highest quality libraries. I'll make sure there are more of each of the core texts you need in the Main Library Hub, and that computers there are updated and fast. I'll also ensure you can receive books from specialist libraries within 24 hours.

Vote Andrew Burnie - Putting Our Education First.

action; my campaign against the shortened exam period empowered 1400 students action; my campaign against the shortened exam period empowered 1400 students through a petition, and forced the university to reverse its position. As a EUSA rep, I've expanded pod-casting and introduced online print credit - issues that came from students. If elected I'll continue to listen to what you want, and deliver the changes that improve our education.Accessibility - I believe education should be accessible to all. I'll make sure the University introduces bursaries to cover essential course costs, and introduce an



VPAA: Innes MacleodDuring my time at university I have been a committed activist and have been involved in, and helped organise, many protests against government cuts to education and rising tuition fees. I have always believed that education should be free at any level. I have often struggled fi nancially at university and I know just how hard it can be living on the meagre funding aff orded to students. I think it’s unacceptable that students would make more money on the dole than they would while studying. � e university must modernise and keep up with students' needs. It also should be fairer, with equal access to texts and materials, better assessment and eff ective feedback. I want to see a free, fair and funded education.

• Oppose all fees, fi ght for free education• Stand against any course cuts or closures• Better bursaries for students• Online course reviewer by students for students• No more 100% exams• Digitise library books, especially those in the HUB• End the physical hand-in, fully online submission for essays.

www.innesforVPAA.co.uk

helped organise, many protests against government cuts to education and rising tuition fees. I have always believed that education should be free at any level. I have often struggled always believed that education should be free at any level. I have often struggled fi nancially at university and I know just how hard it can be living on the meagre funding aff orded to students. I think it’s unacceptable that students would make more money on the dole than they would while studying. � e university must modernise and keep up with students' needs. It also should be fairer, with equal access to texts and materials, better assessment and eff ective

Vice President Services (VPS): Responsible for the � nances and amenities of the Association. Role includes developing strategies to improve Union servic-es, proposing budgets and monitoring � nancial performance.

Vice President Academic A� airs (VPAA): for the Students’ Representative Council and matters of academic representation.

Vice President Societies and Activities (VPSA): Responsible for everything to do with societies: developing support, training and creating opportunities for EUSA's groups.

VPS: Max Crema� e fi rst thing you need to know is that EUSA could be charging you lower prices in its shops, but chooses not to. As vice president of services, I’m going to make that happen. � is isn’t an empty promise, I’m an economics student with a strong background in business and have the experience and ideas to improve our union and save you money.EUSA’s current wholesaler isn’t the cheapest option for what we sell in our shops, we buy from them for largely political reasons. My fi rst act will be to change our retail wholesaler, getting us the best deal on our supplies and using the savings to cut prices in all of our venues.I’m concerned about what’s happening to Edinburgh’s culture; this year we stand to lose some of our greatest venues. EUSA should be at the forefront of the fi ght to defend Edin-burgh’s culture, such as saving Bongo club. But EUSA should also be bringing Edinburgh’s culture to our own tragically underused venues. We need to get local bands and promoters to put on more events in our union buildings, especially Teviot Underground; lets make it into a stand alone venue with its own atmosphere, giving it an entrance from behind Teviot.Finally, I want to be a campaigning VPS, standing up for sustainability and ethical invest-ment. So if you like cheaper food and drinks, you like great nights out and you care about the University’s impact on the environment, vote for me, Max Crema.

training and creating opportunities for EUSA's groups.

� e fi rst thing you need to know is that EUSA could be charging you lower prices in its � e fi rst thing you need to know is that EUSA could be charging you lower prices in its shops, but chooses not to. As vice president of services, I’m going to make that happen. � is isn’t an empty promise, I’m an economics student with a strong background in business and have the experience and ideas to improve our union and save you money.EUSA’s current wholesaler isn’t the cheapest option for what we sell in our shops, we buy from them for largely political reasons. My fi rst act will be to change our retail wholesaler, getting us the best deal on our supplies and using the savings to cut prices

I’m concerned about what’s happening to Edinburgh’s culture; this year we stand to lose some of our greatest venues. EUSA should be at the forefront of the fi ght to defend Edin-burgh’s culture, such as saving Bongo club. But EUSA should also be bringing Edinburgh’s culture to our own tragically underused venues. We need to get local bands and promoters to put on more events in our union buildings, especially Teviot Underground; lets make it into a stand alone venue with its own atmosphere, giving it an entrance from behind Teviot.Finally, I want to be a campaigning VPS, standing up for sustainability and ethical invest-ment. So if you like cheaper food and drinks, you like great nights out and you care about the

burgh’s culture, such as saving Bongo club. But EUSA should also be bringing Edinburgh’s culture to our own tragically underused venues. We need to get local bands and promoters to put on more events in our union buildings, especially Teviot Underground; lets make it into a

Finally, I want to be a campaigning VPS, standing up for sustainability and ethical invest-ment. So if you like cheaper food and drinks, you like great nights out and you care about the

VPSA: Hazel MarzettiHi, I’m Hazel, I’m a fourth year philosophy student meaning that most of this year has been spent in the library (ground fl oor computers because I like to snack whilst I study). Outside uni I’m an ‘Advice Place’ volunteer and my evenings are taken up by my favourite societies. For some students, fi nding their feet at university can be tough. I am running to celebrate the communities we have at Edinburgh, but also because I want to build upon them so we can all fi nd our place in the university community. Firstly, I’ll work to improve the sense of community in academic departments by developing academic families. Secondly, I’ll create a volunteering road show so that no matter what cam-pus you study on you can easily fi nd out how to give something back. � irdly, I will strengthen societies by making day-to-day running easier: I will work to get room-book-ings online so you don’t have to queue from 5am and improve funding opportunities. Finally, with users of the university’s counselling service rocketing we need to see varied, fl exible methods of support. If elected I will push for counselling drop-in sessions, developing online applications to the discretionary fund, and fi ghting for post-graduate loans.

www.hazelmarzetti.com

Hi, I’m Hazel, I’m a fourth year philosophy student meaning that most of this year has been spent in the library (ground fl oor computers because I like to snack whilst I

celebrate the communities we have at Edinburgh, but also because I want to build upon them so we can all fi nd our place in the university community. Firstly, I’ll work to improve the sense of community in academic departments by developing academic families. Secondly, I’ll create a volunteering road show so that no matter what cam-pus you study on you can easily fi nd out how to give something back. � irdly, I will strengthen societies by making day-to-day running easier: I will work to get room-book-ings online so you don’t have to queue from 5am and improve funding opportunities. Finally, with users of the university’s counselling service rocketing we need to see varied, fl exible methods of support. If elected I will push for counselling drop-in sessions, developing online


pus you study on you can easily fi nd out how to give something back. � irdly, I will strengthen societies by making day-to-day running easier: I will work to get room-book-ings online so you don’t have to queue from 5am and improve funding opportunities. Finally, with users of the university’s counselling service rocketing we need to see varied, fl exible methods of support. If elected I will push for counselling drop-in sessions, developing online


explain why you should vote for them

VPAA: Alex MunyardI am a third year Politics and IR student. During my time at Edinburgh I have been involved in many EUSA campaigns in which I have attended demonstrations, lobbied the gov-ernment and engaged with students on issues aff ecting them. � is year, as accom-modation offi cer, I have worked hard on the fair housing campaign. In response to students’ concerns, this campaign supports students when they rent privately. We’ve had city letting agencies sign up to our charter of good practice. Our cam-paign has actively encouraged students to demand better standards by providing them with key rules they should follow when renting a fl at. I believe I have the skills and enthusiasm to represent students and achieve results that will have a positive impact on their studies.

If elected I will fi ght for: more summer and Easter internships within our university; earlier release and a deadline for exam timetables and results; ensuring students’ views and experiences infl uence the introduction of the new DoS sys-tem; students who are being failed by their current DoS; bulk-buy discount for core course texts; the introduction of “taster” lectures and for the library to continue its 9 am opening time.

www.alexmunyard.com

many EUSA campaigns in which I have attended demonstrations, lobbied the gov-ernment and engaged with students on issues aff ecting them. � is year, as accom-modation offi cer, I have worked hard on the fair housing campaign. In response to students’ concerns, this campaign supports students when they rent privately. We’ve had city letting agencies sign up to our charter of good practice. Our cam-paign has actively encouraged students to demand better standards by providing them with key rules they should follow when renting a fl at. I believe I have the skills and enthusiasm to represent students and achieve results that will have a

If elected I will fi ght for: more summer and Easter internships within our university; earlier release and a deadline for exam timetables and results; ensuring students’ views and experiences infl uence the introduction of the new DoS sys-tem; students who are being failed by their current DoS; bulk-buy discount for core course texts; the introduction of “taster” lectures

www.alexmunyard.com

ernment and engaged with students on issues aff ecting them. � is year, as accom-modation offi cer, I have worked hard on the fair housing campaign. In response to students’ concerns, this campaign supports students when they rent privately. We’ve had city letting agencies sign up to our charter of good practice. Our cam-paign has actively encouraged students to demand better standards by providing them with key rules they should follow when renting a fl at. I believe I have the skills and enthusiasm to represent students and achieve results that will have a

If elected I will fi ght for: more summer and Easter internships within our university; earlier release and a deadline for exam timetables and results; ensuring students’ views and experiences infl uence the introduction of the new DoS sys-tem; students who are being failed by their current DoS; bulk-buy

VPSA: Kate HarrisIn my four years at Edinburgh I’ve had a lot of ups and downs. I’ve had a lot of fantastic times here - particularly in societies - and have been to some great parties. I’ve also had a lot of low times too (I’ve almost dropped out more than once). Because I’ve experienced a lot of the benefi ts and downsides of being at uni, I understand how to improve stu-dents’ lives. If you elect me I will:• Work to stop criminal landlords, safeguard fl at deposits and get the council to end illegal agency fees.• Continue the fi ght for a free education and for more bursaries – because being skint is a welfare issue.• Protect charitable societies, overhaul the room booking system and introduce a cross-campus events calendar.• Introduce mental health peer support groups, get a sexual health specialist on campus and train staff in suicide prevention.• Get the university to provide better support across all campuses, to address the dropout rate and to turn Masson House back into student halls.

Please see www.kateforvpsa.co.uk for my full manifesto or to get in touch.

In my four years at Edinburgh I’ve had a lot of ups and downs. I’ve had a lot of fantastic times here - particularly in societies - and have been to some great parties. I’ve also had a lot of low times too (I’ve almost dropped out more than once). Because I’ve experienced a lot of the benefi ts and downsides of being at uni, I understand how to improve stu-

• Work to stop criminal landlords, safeguard fl at deposits and get the council to end

• Continue the fi ght for a free education and for more bursaries – because being skint

• Protect charitable societies, overhaul the room booking system and introduce a cross-

• Introduce mental health peer support groups, get a sexual health specialist on

• Get the university to provide better support across all campuses, to address the

In my four years at Edinburgh I’ve had a lot of ups and downs. I’ve had a lot of fantastic times here - particularly in societies - and have been to some great parties. I’ve also had a lot of low times too (I’ve almost dropped out more than once). Because I’ve experienced a lot of the benefi ts and downsides of being at uni, I understand how to improve stu-

• Work to stop criminal landlords, safeguard fl at deposits and get the council to end

• Continue the fi ght for a free education and for more bursaries – because being skint

• Protect charitable societies, overhaul the room booking system and introduce a cross-

• Introduce mental health peer support groups, get a sexual health specialist on

News 5

Tuesday March 20 2012 Send your letters to:studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

� e Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators and photographers to join our team. We're also hunting for recruits for our marketing and events teams.

No experience necessary!

Track us down:» In person: Meetings every Tuesday in Teviot Dining Hall at 1.15pm. Socials: Tuesdays in � e Counting House at 8.30pm. Email: [email protected]

Facebook: tinyurl.com/StudentFacebook

Twi� er: twitter.com/TheStudentPaper

Tumblr: thestudentpaper.tumblr.com

A quick history lesson...� e Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Ste-

venson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 10,000 University of Edinburgh students every week.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of fi lm and concert reviews.

Join us!

Disclaimer� e Student welcomes letters for publication. � e editors, however, reserve

the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. � e letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith � e Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole.

Editors Tess Malone/Ali QuaileNews Sam Bradley/Alasdair Drennan/Lewis MacDonald/Leo Michelmore Comment Daniel Kraemer/Joel Sharples/Daniel Swain Features Nina Bicket/Cameron Taylor/Alice McGurran Lifestyle Lilidh Kendrick/Marissa Trew Science & Environment Zoe Blah/Rebecca Chan/Nina Seale Tech Tom Hasler/Alasdair MacLeod Horoscopes Max Johnson/Guy Rughani/Ben Scally Crosswords John Wakely Culture Troy Holmes/� om Louis/Michael Mackenzie Music Joshua Angrave/Anna Feintuck/Tom KinneyFilm Robert Dickie/Kirsty WareingTV Alistair Grant/Alasdair Drennan Commission Kathryn Lloyd Sport Davie Heaton/Chris WaughAssistant editor for production James GilchristHead copy editor Melissa Geere Copy editors Monika Antonova/Sophia Cosby/John Hewitt Jones/ Alasdair MacLeodHead of marketing Matt McDonaldPhoto editor Emily Jarrett Multimedia � omas Ware Web editors Lewis Dunne/Mayumi Ihara-Quinones Illustration Commissioner Cat O'Neil President Lewis Dunne Secretary Varvara Bashkirova Treasurer Helen Stride Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ [email protected]

Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical pho-tocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by Lothian Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed by Cumbrian Newsprint (part of the CN Group), Carlisle Print Centre, Newspaper House, Dalston Road, Cumbria CA2 5UA, on Monday March 19 2012. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post O� ce.

Twi� er:

THE DISSERTATION is almost a mythical concept to fourth years. Just uttering the word ‘dissertation’ inspires as much fear as saying the name Mac-beth in a theatre. So like thespians refer to Macbeth as � e Scottish Play, we will now refer to the dissertation as the ‘d-word.’ � e superstition is not the only commonality the d-word has with � e Scottish Play. Like Lady Macbeth, you will probably turn into an insomniac wandering the fl at muttering “Out, damned word! Out, I say!” when you fi nd yourself two times over the word count. Now that’s real double, double toil and trouble. Here’s how to get your fi re burning and cauldron bubbling and fi nally fi nish writing the d-word.

1. Staying up all night in Hugh Rob is for freshers, prove your fourth year stamina by camping out in the National Library of Scotland. � e

NLS barely lets you breathe, but the lack of oxygen will probably help you write some of the more absurd parts of the d-word aka the whole thing.

2. Get an IV-drip of espresso.

3. Buy all the biscuits in Tesco and treat yourself to one for every 100 words written. � is will give you a reward for all of your hard work and the sugar high to keep on going. As biscuit connoisseurs, � e Student can recommend Fox’s golden crunch creams and Jaff a Cakes.

4. Treat your supervisor like your therapist. Lie on their offi ce couch and talk about how you always hated your father, but loved your mother and this why you’ve only written 1,000 words so far.

5. Take a book binding workshop at

Owl and Lion in the Grassmarket instead of battling DHT rush. Who cares what’s between the covers as long as it looks pretty!

6. Pull the ultimate all-nighter and avoid sleeping for a week!

7. Put the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack on loop because the fi nal week of writing your d-word is almost equivalent of heroin addiction.

8. Go back home for a week so your dad can cook your meals and nag you enough that it persuades you to never move back home after graduation.

9. Compete with your friends to see who is more stressed. Have a boxing match to duke it out!

10. Just write the bloody thing!

Tess tells you how to write your damn dissertation already

ALI

QU

AIL

E

Editorial

6 Editorial

Tuesday March 20 2012 Feeling opinionated? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

“Politicians get stripped of anything that makes them endearing, interesting or likeable."

Too much information?Anna Feintuck argues the government's plans to introduce fees for Freedom of Information requests will damage accountabilityTHE FREEDOM of Information Act came into eff ect in 2005 and has three main aims: to facilitate openness and transparency; to encourage account-able government; and to aid decision making and the public’s involvement in such procedures. FOI essentially gives anyone the right to request information from public authorities and organisa-tions and, subject to conditions such as how long it will take to acquire the infor-mation and how much it will cost, they must be given it.

� e government is currently con-sidering putting in place amendments suggested in a memorandum submitted in December 2011 by the lord chancel-lor and the secretary of state for justice, which advised that carrying out FOI requests was often felt to be a use of time that could be better spent elsewhere. It was suggested that a fee could be introduced to deter “nuisance” – that is, frequent – requesters. � e Guardian then reported that the Ministry of Justice be-lieved that these serial requesters were in fact journalists “fi shing” for a story.

It is not explained exactly why this is a problem, but the implication is clearly that it is not within the terms of the Act to deal with such requests. But this, es-pecially as justifi cation for the introduc-tion of a fee, is problematic for several reasons.

Firstly, the Act is quite clearly for the purpose of serving the public interest. Deterring journalists from obtaining in-formation implies that journalism does

not act in the public interest. Journalism may not have the best reputation at the moment, and rightly so in many cases, but it is still clearly wrong for the gov-ernment to use a scandal in which they were complicit for their own purposes. Seen in this light, this is as good as cen-sorship. � e government fundamentally do not have a right to secrecy. Submit-ting an FOI request will never be the kind of thing that every member of the public does as a standard activity – the process of letter-writing, waiting and chasing up is hardly an appealing pros-pect, even without the risk of incurring a fee for doing so – but this on no account means that they do not have a right to knowledge. � e media can, and gener-ally do, play the role of facilitator and transmitter. Free access to information, whether for individuals or organisations, is thus clearly in the public interest.

As well as this, if it is journalists that are the problem, do ministers really be-lieve that charging a nominal fee would stop them from attempting to obtain in-

formation? � e Guardian acknowledges that the kind of journalism its writers do is expensive. � ey, and others, can probably aff ord a fee, unless of course the price is to be set prohibitively high. If this was the case, fi nancial implications would add another off -putting obstacle to the obstructive bureaucracy already in the way of the general public.

It also seems clear that the introduc-tion of fees would necessitate another level of administration, both to set the policy on pricing and to carry it out once legislation had been passed. � is

would surely incur cost itself, which the fees imposed would not cover. Moral arguments aside, this alone renders the proposal fi nancially futile – and the gov-ernment would have us believe that any amendments that were made would be for fi nancial, cost-eff ective, reasons. It thus seems clear that this is in fact about more than money and time.

� e reasonableness of the argument presented in the secretary of state for justice’s memorandum is almost scary: on a certain level, it is hard to disagree with the idea that civil servants’ time

should not be wasted. But this is all rather convenient for a government whose at-titude towards Freedom of Information has been described as “grudging” by the information commissioner, Christopher Graham. Let’s be clear: this would be an amendment which would place a tan-gible hurdle in the way of the acquisition of information. Any attempt to justify the withholding of information seems extremely suspect. Fundamentally, a government that is willing to put a price on knowledge is not a government that is to be trusted.

Steer clearCharities should avoid relying on social media for exposure and fundraising, argues Joe Harvey IN TERMS of attracting attention, the KONY 2012 campaign was undeniably successful. � e video was viewed 70 mil-lion times in a week. Invisible Children received £3.2 million in donations in the 48 hours following the upload of the video. � is is incredibly impressive, but is it necessarily a good thing?

Before I even watched the video, it made me feel very uncomfortable. See-ing the video blow-up in popularity as though it was the only thing happening in the world, sandwiched on my news-feed between photos of some sports soc social at Hive and the Youtube link to a video of a baby panda jumping up and down, was the fi rst indication that this was something inappropriate. � e worst thing is we are very likely to see other charities (especially medium sized ones) employing similar techniques in the near future.

� e most sinister thing about the KONY 2012 campaign is not the poor spending track record of Invisible Chil-dren or the fact that its main objective is to encourage and fund military action,but

the precedent it sets for the way in which we interact with charities. � e success of individual charities to raise money will be proportionate to how successfully they embrace the frivolous world of social networking. In eff ect, those that don’t will see the attention of younger benefac-tors migrate to the charities that do.

Despite Invisible Children’s initial success, it is destined to fail on one impor-tant aspect of its campaign: its intended durability. � e campaign labels 2012 as the year of action, but even the day

of action planned for just over a month from now is unrealistically ambitious. Day one – the campaign blew up. Day two - the backlash about the credibility of the charity was in vogue. Day three – the campaign had almost completely disappeared from my newsfeed and any mention of it would seem out of touch with current aff airs. � is is the nature of Facebook culture. How can charities possibly keep causes that need sustained support and awareness at the forefront of public consciousness in a culture where maintaining 20 minutes of fame is com-mendable?

On Facebook, we have time to consider the things that we say, craft-ing sentences in such a way that they project the personality of the person that we want to be. In the real world, we are constantly freestyling in the immediacy of the moment – trusting in our ability to make people laugh or say something intelligent when it counts. Facebook is about self-stylisation. When someone posts an appeal from a charity in a status on Facebook they are consciously add-

ing ‘compassion’, ‘informed about world issues’ and other such likeable virtues to the personal mythology that they are continuously crafting online. I’m not saying that these actions are always done without genuine interest in the cause, but they are always published in the fi ckle, shallow language of social networking.

Our cyber selves are selfi sh. Our cy-ber selves are shallow. Our cyber selves are commodities – to be bought and sold like plots of land and turned into profi t by advertisers. Our cyber selves have no conscience because their actions are de-tached and virtual (although note that it is important for our cyber selves to give the impression of having a conscience – this is the reason for the success of the KONY campaign). We invest in our cyber selves because it facilitates our fast pace social lives. It is very good at that.

But what would be the consequences if the third sector had to start investing in our cyber selves? If charities had to bid for our attention in the same language that music videos and advertisers bid for our attention: simplifi ed, superfi cial

and sexualised? And what would be the consequences for the charities if the at-tention that we gave to them was of the same nature as the attention that we give to music videos and adverts-that of a gerbil?

Charities already face the dilemma of choosing between investing in the projects that are most needed by their benefi ciaries and those that seem most attractive to their benefactors. � ere are many stories of household name charities funding construction projects that are both expensive and not needed simply because ‘I funded the building of a school’ sounds better than ‘I funded the training of a team of accountants to eff ectively administer interest-free loans to community-based social enterprises’. What would happen to the integrity and eff ectiveness of charities if they were forced to constantly be competing with Oprah and the latest Lynx ad in a Twitter trending war, just so they could retain the proportion of charitable donations that they held before the KONY campaign model became the status quo?

“The success of individual charities to raise money will be proportionate to how successfully they embrace the frivolous world of social networking."

BACK ON THE SHELF: Access to government documents could be restricted by the fee

SCO

TT B

ARB

OU

R

“This would be an amendment which would place a tangible hurdle in the way of the acquisition of information."

8 Comment

Tuesday March 20 2012 Feeling opinionated? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

I WANDERED into the John Mc-Intyre Conference Centre dining room at Pollock Halls the other day to have a letter thrust into my hand by the nice man on the door. ‘Dear Customer…’ it began. Not ‘Dear student’, or ‘Dear resident’. ‘Dear Customer…’

It wasn’t the abysmal grammar of the note that made me hurl my meal against the wall in fury; instead, it was the message’s sheer audacity. To all intents and purposes this was a piece of propaganda written exclusively to promote Edinburgh First, proclaiming in great detail exactly why it is fulfi lling its duties in the catering setup at Pol-lock Halls.

It was the opening line that gave an insight into the way in which Ed-

inburgh First, the company respon-sible for much of the University of Edinburgh’s accommodation, views students. I venture to suggest that the relationship between students and the university is more complex than the ev-eryday consumer relationship. But the language used in this letter, and much communication from the powers-in-wheely-chairs-that-be, suggests that they have succeeded in transducing it to just that.

� ere’s a fundamental problem with treating students as ‘customers’. Stu-dents don’t have the same prerogative as the everyday consumer. � ey aren’t able just to up sticks and choose another provider if they don’t like the services they receive. For a start, we don’t have

a choice whether or not we have some-where to live. Having somewhere to stay isn’t negotiable; it’s not something we can do without. And once students have signed on the dotted line at the be-ginning of the year, they can’t get out of the Accommodation Service’s contract.

Jaded cynic that I am, it seems easy to regard Pollock Halls as a vast en-terprise focused on extracting as much money from students as possible. It’s certainly a real coup for Edinburgh’s entertainment industry. From the blind eye turned towards fl yering by the Ac-commodation Services, to the fl otillas of taxis that sail by each evening to pick up wave after wave of Glen’s vodka-sodden fi rst years, one can’t help but feel that the whole setup is predicated

on the notion that students should be encouraged to part with as much of their money as quickly and as boozily as possible.

But that shouldn’t necessarily be the case. University is also the fi rst long period of time spent away from home for many students; a time when most people push boundaries. It seems, therefore, somewhat irresponsible for an educational institution not to recognise this, and to make sure that it puts students fi rst and focuses on their needs, not just taking their money.

Whilst Edinburgh First does pay all its operating profi ts back to the university, functioning with a business structure at all seems problematic. Uni-versity privatisation seems especially undesirable when it comes to accom-modation. Inevitably, those at the top have little contact with students and student life and there’s the risk that they take them for granted and regard them as a commodity.

Students are easily taken advantage of. Housing has been high on the stu-dent agenda recently; last week local councillors launched the ‘Edinburgh Private Tenants Action Group’ against rogue landlords. � is is an issue that aff ects many students in their accom-modation.

� e University must be more proac-tive in its role of protecting students and I cannot see how privatised university accommodation can both put students’ needs fi rst and focus on creating profi t. � ese two things aren’t compatible. In the near future, it would be desirable to see greater dialogue between EUSA and Edinburgh First. And in the long run, University Accommodation needs a restructure. Surely, the people we vote in to represent us on the student council should be able to represent us and infl uence decisions about our ac-commodation?

All that glitters is not Goldman

� is week saw a very alien type of panic on Wall Street – a moral one. Greg Smith, a former director at Goldman Sachs in London, resigned amid the moral turmoil of working for the world’s most evil banking giant with a devastating op-ed in � e New York Times.

Amongst his complaints, including how Smith was forced to refer to himself as an executive,when realistically that referred to a rank higher than his own, and drink champagne from the skulls of petrifi ed squirrels, the most prominently reported upon is that the bank is ‘toxic’.

Obviously, there was a mix up at the annual Goldman Sachs karaoke night. No one of course is insinuating that Smith was hoping to try his hand at belting out “Working Class Hero” or something by Billy Bragg, but perhaps his disgruntled status emerges from a desire to, for once, play a diff erent Britney Spears song. He must have assumed that with the US government buying all of Goldman’s “Toxic” assets under TARP back in 2008, Goldman karaoke lounges would be free to ring with the sound of 15 drunk (almost certainly white male) bankers singing menacingly along to “Womanizer”.

Smith’s other major complaint was that bankers at Goldman's offi ce in London regularly referred to their clients as ‘Muppets’. Here, Smith’s South African upbringing has betrayed him because the Muppets were banned under the apartheid regime for championing a multiracial society. � erefore, Mr. Smith could not possibly possess the cultural appreciation of Kermit the Frog required to understand the gravitas attached to having him as a client for Goldman Sachs.

� is minor ignorance could be perhaps be forgiven under the banner of cultural insensitivity, but the ignorance of Goldman Sachs's near satanical levels of evil after ten years of being a “Slave 4 � em” seems to defy expectations (even the low ones set for those who have sacrifi ced body and soul to the gods of Goldman).

Despite pundits on Wall Street suggesting that Smith will never work in fi nance “Till the World Ends”, his new celebrity status has probably only made him “Stronger”. � is, compounded with the fact that Smith’s op-ed has been cited as the reason for wiping $2.2 billion off of Goldman Sachs share price this week, means that executives will probably not be directing a rendition of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” at Smith any time soon.

Daniel Swain

FLIC

KR: W

ORL

D E

CON

OM

IC F

ORU

M

Gone off freshers' week?Maria Kheyfets argues we need to fi nd more creative solutions for addressing university drinking culture

Pollocks to privatisationJohn Hewitt Jones attacks the growing commercialisation of Edinburgh's accommodation services

BRISTOL UNIVERSITY’S recent attempt to curb the duration of fresh-ers’ week has resulted in a backlash from the majority of its students, who have successfully campaigned to stop the reduction from fi ve days to three. � e University’s intention was to restrain the excessive drinking culture that the introductory week apparently stimu-lates. � ey may be correct about the pressure produced by an overwhelming amount of drinking-related activities that usually occur during freshers’ week; however, radically diff erent measures must be taken if they are to achieve the desired outcome.

Freshers’ week is the fi rst year stu-dent’s initial sample of independence. Isn’t a naturally rebellious teenager, who is, moreover, in the process of enjoying his or her newly discovered autonomy, likely to ‘unoffi cially’ prolong the week anyway? It does not seem probable for a fresher to have much enthusiasm for an introductory lecture on � ursday morn-ing if Wednesday was a big night out. It is much wiser to let students settle down and have a taste of independent life for a full week before they begin to devote serious attention to their studies.

Now, whether a fi rst year should spend

their fi rst week participating in drinking-related activities is completely up to them. However, freshers’ is the time to try what is out there and while some may enjoy it, others will be repelled for good. What re-ally needs to be addressed - and this can be done in conjunction with the student union- is the organisation of a genuine variety of events. While some of us may feel more relaxed meeting people at the bar with a drink, others will be much more enthused about a drama workshop or a philosophy debate. If we take into ac-count the various interests that must be addressed, we can avoid complaints from students who feel a strong pressure to drink when they would rather take part in other kinds of activities.

But is a full freshers’ week really vital for settling in? Or does the student-led backlash at Bristol University simply illustrate that those students who enjoy going out want to retain the party pe-riod? I spent my induction week joining a bunch of societies, meeting various new people before the clique forming proc-ess began, taking care of many practical arrangements and familiarising myself with my surroundings. I went out a cou-ple of times, but had no trouble keeping this in moderation, preferring to partake

in many of the other available activities. In all fairness, most long-term friends

are made during the academic year. However, the encounters made at fresh-ers’ week provide us with several initial acquaintances that are vital in a com-pletely new environment. � is goes to illustrate that what an individual student makes of their introductory experience is entirely in their own hands. While the social aspect of this period is crucial for some of the extroverts, the introverts will only truly open up as the year progresses and they meet like-minded individuals. � e reason we should retain a full-length freshers’ week is that it is the only way to accommodate the wide variety of person-alities and interests that will inevitably occur within a cohort of new students.

An argument that has been put for-ward against a full freshers’ week is that the excess of drinking that often takes place is likely to set the tone for the rest of the academic year. � is appears to be mainly a problem of motivation, which is what universities must concentrate on addressing. Possible causes for little concentration on studies are the lack of emphasis on pre-honours years and inadequate academic support. Students are likely to be quite ambivalent during

their initial years at university and many lose motivation if their course ceases to interest them. � e academic coordina-tors must therefore be reasonably fl exible

in allowing course changes. Freshers’ week can be a daunting ex-

perience with all the pressure placed on socialising. But this period undoubtedly introduces the fi rst year student to the independence that university life entails. It may require some initiative from the individual as well as the organisers, but freshers’ week can certainly be adapted to diverse interests and made into a highly positive introductory experience for every fresher.

“While some of us may feel more relaxed meeting people at the bar with a drink, others will be much more enthused about a drama workshop or a philosophy debate."

POLLOCK HALLS: Is student accommodation being run for the benefi t of students or a private company?

EDIN

BURG

H F

IRST

Comment 9

Tuesday March 20 2012

Features 11

Let's hear it!: [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

Inspirational or idiots?Cameron Taylor looks at the curious group of individuals who have been crowned Guiness World Record holdersTHE FURTHEST distance leapt by a guinea pig. � e most people standing on one foot simultaneously. Largest number of human mattress-dominos being toppled one after the other. All world records that have been broken over the last few months, earning the winner, or winners, a framed certifi cate bearing the title of ‘Guinness World Record for …’ � e name has become synonymous with extraordinary, im-pressive, and sometimes downright daft, feats of human, natural or tech-nological endurance, size or achieve-ment.

Guinness World Records came into existence in 1951. � e then manager director of Guinness, Sir Hugh Bea-ver, was out on a shooting party and became involved in a dispute with his companions over what was the fastest game bird, the koshin golden plover or the grouse.

Unable to fi nd an entry in numer-ous reference books to solve this prob-lem, Sir Hugh commissioned student twins Norris and Ross McWhirter to set about compiling a compendium of the fastest, longest and biggest of any types of thing that they could discover the irrefutable truth about. � e fi rst book became a surprise success and has continued to be released annually every year since, with updated entries and new entries in an ever-expanding variety of categories.

New records, record breakers and controversies are unavoidable in the news on an almost weekly basis. Whole new areas of science have been devoted to creating standardised tests to mea-sure potential record holders up against each other, such as the Ferriman Gall-wey method of evaluating Hirsutism (hairyness). � e test identifi es 19 loca-tions on a woman’s body and the hair growth in these areas is then graded from zero (no hair) to four (excessive growth). � e scores are then added up, up to a maximum of 76, to give a com-parable score of hirsuitness. And this is only the test for women, the test for

male hirsuitness involves another set of rigorous, if slightly pseudo-scientifi c, indicators.

Since its inception as a chronicle documenting natural and irrefutable phenomenon, the book has morphed into becoming focused on human feats. It has become possible for anyone to become a world record holder if they set a standard, no matter how good, in something that nobody has thought to do before. All it takes is for it to be overseen by an offi cial Guinness judge and you can become a proud world re-cord holder.

But what negative aspects lie in this never ending quest for glory? What extents are people willing to go to for a glossy certifi cate, risking their long term health or even death? Or how can these world records and their attempts be used as a force for good? In order to probe the psyche of some of these brave souls, here are the profi les of some re-cord holders and an explanation of why they seek to be confi rmed as the best in the world.

Lin Yü-chih appeared on the Channel 4 documentary "� e World’s Shortest Man and Me." Lin suff ers from the genetic disorder osteogenesis imperfecta, which leaves him confi ned to a wheelchair and unable to walk as his legs are deformed due to his affl ic-tion. In the documentary, he appeared

driven to gain the title because it would lead to international recognition for his condition and perhaps give him a better income to help deal with his physical condition in everyday life.

Unfortunately for Lin, the World’s Shortest Man title (given to those who are still alive) was awarded to He Pingping, a Chinese man measuring only 73cm tall. He has since been suc-ceeded by several men, and the current holder is Chandra Bahadur Dangi, who measures a miniscule 54.6cm. Chandra seeks to use his fame to celebrate his homeland of Nepal and hopefully bring some money to his vil-lage of Purandhara.

Whilst members of the animal kingdom will presumably not be too miff ed if their titles are given to another animal, competition between humans is far more intense. In categories where competitors rely on unchangeable physical traits, defeat, due to sheer bad luck, can be incredibly demoralising. � is is especially true when physical conditions lead to a vastly inferior quality of life, regardless of the title. In categories where physical attributes can be somewhat enhanced, pursuit of the record can be incredibly damaging to human health.

Maxi Mounds holds the record for the World’s Largest Augmented Breasts. Ms Mounds, a stripper, model and star of such titles as Missionary Impossible and Mega-Boob Olympics, has had fi ve breast surgeries since 1991. � is has increased her breasts to requiring a size 42J bra, with a 60.5 inch bust. According to her offi cial website, her breasts weigh in at over 9 kilograms each and, charmingly, her nicknames for her breasts are "Moun-tain" and "Dew," (though sadly it was not disclosed which mammary had which moniker.)

As has been seen in the press cover-age over the recent PIP breast implants scare, the dangers of breast implants are well documented. Ms Mounds breasts own continue to grow because her polypropylene string breast im-plants irritate her breast tissue and they fi ll with fl uid.

If Ms Mounds’ implants were to rupture, this could lead to a mastec-tomy, life threatening infection or toxic shock and death due to the leak of de-graded saline. � is would obviously be a great price to pay just for your name in a book.

Records that appeal to daredevils also have severe risks attached. Later this year, Austrian Felix Baumgart-ner plans to jump from a balloon at 130,000ft above the earths surface and sky dive back to terra fi rma. � is will break the current 1960 record set at 102,000ft. � e height Baumgartner seeks to jump from is four times as high as commercial aircraft fl y at and is offi cially designated as "space." With

such an attempt, there are great risks to Baumgartner’s life.

He must complete the jump in a specially designed space suit. If his oxygen supply fails, he will pass out and plummet into the ground at faster than the speed of sound. If his suit tears, his tissue would start to swell and all the water in his body begin to boil. If his suit is not properly insulated, he will freeze to death before he reaches earth.

In pushing the bounds of what is humanly and technologically possible, extreme record breakers undertake a high-stakes gamble with their lives.

Suresh Joachim Arulanantham is a record breaker that seeks to use the fame generated by his feats as a force for good. Since 1996, Joachim has bro-ken 60 records. His fi rst was running for part of every hour for 1,000 hours in his home-town of Colombo, cover-ing a combined distance of 3,495km. Since then, he has broken records for continuous ironing, a drumming mar-athon and furthest distance dribbled with a basketball in 24 hours.

Joachim uses his record attempts to raise funds and awareness for various charities that help underprivileged chil-dren around the world. In interviews he acknowledges that his achievements are trivial in comparison to the plight of many people. His latest project is the upcoming Peace Marathon, travelling

6,000km in 182 days and hoping to raise $1 million (Canadian dollars) for charity.

So what can we deduce about the men and woman that seek to have their names immortalized in the annals of history? Are Guinness World Records something to be truly celebrated, or are they trivial to the upmost degree?

� ere is no doubt that some of the claimants to various titles cut sad fi gures. � e constant one-upmanship that surrounds titles such as ‘Most pierced …’ and ‘Most tattooed …’ seem to be pursued at great detriment to the competitor’s normal life. In these cases, they often become fi gures of ridicule. Does the book celebrate diff erence, or is a modern incarnation of the side-show freak?

� e publication of the latest Guinness Book of World Records is something that is eagerly awaited by millions the world over. � e tome is a fascinating reference book, detailing incredibly natural and technological phenomena.

Sadly, the pages devoted to unique human endeavour sit in a grayer area. Whether the achievement of run-ning the 100m with a milk bottle on your head or balancing eggs on top of another is a cause for true celebration is a matter of some debate, and the cynical among us would say that the eff ort could be directed to a more noble cause.

However, nothing should be taken away from the achievements of these select men and women. No matter how absurd their records may be, they show drive, determination and a demonstra-tion of human spirit that evades the majority of the population.

So before you pour scorn, be care-ful. And if you think ‘Well, that sounds easy,’ all it takes is the presence of a Guinness adjudicator and you can truly put your money where your mouth is.

GU

INN

ESS

BOO

K O

F W

ORL

D R

ECO

RDS

“ It has become possible for anyone to become a world record holder if they set a standard, no matter how good, in something that nobody has thought to do before."

“ In categories where competitors rely on unchangeable physical traits, defeat, due to sheer bad luck, can be incredibly demoralising."

SOD

AH

EAD

.CO

M

REMOVAL MAN: Gratzer holds the record for tossing domestic appliancesUNUSUAL G� NDAD: John Lynch holds the record for the most pierced OAPUNUSUAL G� NDAD: John Lynch holds the record for the most pierced OAP

Tuesday March 20 2012 Let's hear it!: studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

12 Features

ACCORDING TO UNESCO, 4% of the world’s approximately 6,000 existing languages are spoken by 97% of the population. � ey believe that by the end of the 21st century, 90% of the world’s languages will be replaced by other, dominant languages. Languages which are no longer being passed on to children and which are therefore los-ing speakers are known as endangered languages. Once a language no longer has any native speakers, it is considered extinct or dead.

� e average person would be for-given, considering the vast scale of these numbers, for not having the best knowledge of endangered and extinct languages around the world, but here in the United Kingdom, endangered languages are a hot topic for a number of reasons. Manx, Cornish, Welsh and Scottish Gaelic, all languages of the United Kingdom, are all either con-sidered extinct, in the case of the fi rst two, or endangered, in the case of the fi nal ones.

However, the classifi cation of a lan-guage as endangered or even extinct is not as simple as it seems. According to the Cornish Language Partnership quoted in � e Independent, there are actually 300 speakers of Cornish, as a result of a revival project which sought to raise the profi le of the language along with the number of speakers. A static classifi cation doesn’t account for the constant state of fl uctuation that languages are in, with speakers being

lost and gained on a daily basis. It is also obviously diffi cult to establish an accurate count of how many speakers of a language still exist, especially in more isolated communities.

Once a language is declared extinct, it can make a return if eff orts are made to raise children speaking it, creating a new generation of native speakers. Likewise, revival projects can move a language out of the endangered cat-egory. Saving endangered and extinct languages is a controversial subject, though, and many argue that it’s not worth the eff ort.

Language conservation can involve raising the profi le of a language by awarding it offi cial status, promoting its teaching in schools and universi-ties, signing and labelling things in both the dominant and the endan-gered language, and documentation. Documentation can help to preserve

the language by creating a database which can then be used for teach-ing purposes, but it can also help to contribute valuable linguistic data to academics.

On the one side of the argument, language conservationists operate on the principle that languages are more than just a method of communication, but also contain and convey nuances about the culture they stem from and knowledge specifi c to its speakers. By preserving an endangered language or reviving an extinct one, they are not only saving the language, but also these cultural nuances and preserving knowledge of them for future genera-tions. � ey also argue that it promotes a sense of community and maintains cultural diversity.

From a linguistic point of view, these endangered languages are so numerous and varied that it is almost inevitable that they would contain linguistic phenomenon and charac-teristics not seen in other languages. By documenting them, linguists gain important data which can help to rein-force old knowledge by acting as new evidence, or even to create new theo-ries and ideas by revealing previously unknown aspects of language.

On the other hand, however, lan-guage conservation and revival is a time-consuming and expensive proj-ect. Especially now, when austerity seems to be the buzzword of the mo-ment, government subsidies on pro-

moting the teaching of minority lan-guages in school, re-signing streets in multiple languages and other methods of promotion seem to be extravagant when money is so badly needed in oth-er areas. Many would argue that there are more important things to spend money on than conserving a language spoken by such a small minority.

� eir arguments also pose the question that if languages are dying out naturally, is it reasonable to use unnatural intervention in order to at-tempt to revive it? � roughout history, languages have split, evolved and died out, so why should there now be an ob-session with trying to make languages last forever?

In many cases, there is a political impetus behind such drives. � e pro-motion of Irish Gaelic in both North-ern Ireland and the Republic of Ire-land is often inextricably intertwined

with nationalism and the republican movement. Indeed, nationalism in numerous countries can play a large role in the promotion of language con-servation, and it can often be diffi cult to separate genuine consideration for cultural safeguarding and nationalis-tic sentiments. � e promotion of the language of one group of people over another or the raising of the status of a language to offi cial has political ramifi cations from which it cannot be separated, whether or not they were the main goal.

Even leaving aside the politicisa-tion of the preservation of languages, the process itself has come under fi re. In places like Wales, where a profi cien-cy in Welsh has become a prerequisite for many job applicants, the result has been a generation of applicants of an age where they have not been taught Welsh in school or been spoken it at home but who must now learn Welsh in order to obtain many of the jobs they would otherwise be qualifi ed for.

Despite these counterarguments, language conservation continues to be a process with considerable sup-port behind it. People will naturally hold on to the aspects of the culture they identify with. Surely, though, this raises the possibility that languages should be left to evolve naturally. If the speakers of a language want to hold on to it and continue to speak it, then they will, and if the language dies naturally, then it should be left alone.

But it’s not that simple, and as politicians, sadly but realistically, are not always purely looking out for the cultural interests of those they repre-sent, it seems that as long as there are political agendas, there will be people looking to supplement them with any-thing available.

If this is inevitable, then it seems that we should focus on the good that comes out of language preservation. By learning more about the languages of the world, including those that are not as well known, that contain rare linguistic features, and which have few commonly spoken relatives, we can learn more about language in general, and because of how many of these lan-guages are spoken by so few people, there is a wealth of information out there which could help us towards this goal.

� e motives behind language pres-ervation are not always pure, and the results not always good, but it also doesn't seem to be an issue that will be going away any time soon, and it cer-tainly has positive outcomes, even if it is not always what was intended.

Local language lossNina Bicket considers the debate over the preservation of endangered languages

PAU

L ST

AIN

THO

RP, L

ETAV

UA

, WW

W.F

LICK

R.CO

M/P

HO

TOS/

RED

VERS

/ - C

C-BY

“Politicians are not always purely looking out for cultural interests, and as long as there are political agendas, there will be people looking to supplement them with anything available."

“Language conservation can involve raising the profile of a language by awarding it official status, promoting its teaching and documentation."

“Languages are more than just a method of communication, but also contain and convey nuances about the culture they stem from."

MULTULINGUAL SIGNAGE: Roadsigns in Cornwall, Scotland and Wales


Features 13

Let's hear it!: [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

VIEWING FLATS can be very stressful: you turn up at the build-ing to fi nd a dozen other students all nervously eyeing each other up, which provokes a competitive feeling and chilly atmosphere. � is stress makes

it hard to remember the checklist of ‘important’ things you had hastily put together on your way there, things like gas meters and washing machines. Be-fore you know, it you’ve fallen in love with a moulded ceiling and huge bay

window and signed for a fl at that you haven’t even seen all of. Sophie, a third year, remembers her mistakes last year: “We’d looked round loads of fl ats and were getting a bit desperate; to be hon-est I think we would have taken pretty much anything. After living in halls all year we were really impressed with the big bedrooms and the yellow kitchen, can’t believe we actually chose our fl at based on the wall colour. When we moved in we realised the roof leaked, there wasn’t much furniture and we were on a pay as you go gas meter which meant constant trips to Scotmid to top up our card. Heating cost a fortune so the fl at was constantly freezing. � is year I was a lot more discerning!”

It's easy to get into a similar situa-tion. So to help you be clued in as the fl at hunting season approaches, here’s a few things to remember and think about when you’re viewing potential fl ats:

First, the location. It may be your dream fl at, but if it’s an hour’s walk

from lectures, you’ll either be miser-able or just stop going to university. It also makes it diffi cult to convince friends to trek over! � ink about street noise, too. Living on Nicolson Street is handy for university, but being woken up by drunken brawls, beeping pedes-trian crossings and the smell of Subway is not conducive to happy living.

Use available opportunities to speak to current tenants. If the students who live there are in at the viewing, ask them how they’ve found the fl at. � ey will be more than happy to answer quesions, so don't feel as though you are being imposing. It's defi nitely worth asking the average price for bills and how good the landlord is: it makes all the diff erence if you have an understanding and effi cient landlord when the boiler breaks! � e decor can also give a lot away. If the bathroom is well tiled and all the doors are on cup-boards, the landlord is probably quite

good at maintaining the property. If the wallpaper is falling off and the curtains are falling down, well, they’re probably not.

Don't forget to ask about the gas and electricity supplies. You may not understand what the given answer means, but use Google to fi nd out if it means extortionate bills! On a similar note, think about the insulation of the fl at. Gaps in the fl oorboards and rattling windows mean a very cold Edinburgh winter. Carpets and double glazing are defi nite plus points!

Consider the amount of time you will be spending in the fl at over the year, such as during term breaks. Whilst a fl at lease starting in July should absolutely be taken advantage of to enjoy the Edinburgh Fringe Fes-tival, if you don't feel you will be able to make the most of it then try to look out for a 10 month lease, rather than the more common 12month. And make sure you know which you are signing up for!

Most importantly, do not panic. � ere are plenty of fl ats in Edinburgh, so don’t be intimidated by busy view-ings and feel you have to snatch up whatever you can get. � e accommo-dation page of the EUSA website has some really good advice on fi nding fl ats and tenancy agreements. Check out the student guides on accommo-dationforstudents.com for a printable checklist to take with you to viewings and advice on making sure you’re lease isn’t going to spring out any nasty sur-prises.

A room with a viewingAlice Lacey off ers helpful advice on how to be a fl at hunting pro

TED

AN

D J

EN

PU� ING A ROOD OVER YOUR HEAD: remember what you're looking for

“Don't forget to ask about the gas and electricity supplies. You may not understand what the given answer means but you can Google it to find out if it means extortionate bills!"“Before you know

it, you've fallen in love with a moulded ceiling and huge bay window and signed for a flat you haven't even seen all of."

Accounting and Finance

Architecture and the Built Environment

Business Management

Computing

Communication, Marketing and Media

Corporate Social Responsibility

Engineering

Fashion Management

Health Sciences

Journalism

ABOUT TO GRADUATE? WHY NOT DO IT AGAIN NEXT YEAR?“A degree from Robert Gordon University is as near to a guarantee of a job as you can get”The Sunday Times University Guide 2011

MY TIME MY CAREER MY FUTURE

WANT TO FIND OUT MORE?WWW.RGU.ac.uk/myfutureT: 01224 262203 E: [email protected]

START DATES IN SEPTEMBER AND JANUARY STUDY FULL TIME, PART TIME OR ONLINE

STUDY LIKE CRAZySIT FINAL EXAMS GO CELEBRATEATTEND GRADUATION

CONSIDER MY FUTURE APPLY FOR MASTERSIMPROVE EMPLOYABILITY PROGRESS CAREER A CLEAR FUTURE

Library and Information Management

Law

MBA/MBA Oil and Gas/MBA Information Management

Nursing

Offshore Renewables

Pharmacy

Research Institutes

Social Work

Surveying

Tuesday March 20 2012 Amazed by atoms? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

THE DEBATE between science and religion is protracted, divisive and con-tentious. So it was unsurprising that a lecture titled “� e Limits of Science” should prove to be hugely popular. � is year’s Walker Memorial lecture was given by Professor Peter Atkins, an eminent chemist as notorious for his outspoken views on religion as for his textbooks, one of which is known, in common conversation, as the physical chemistry bible.

His lecture followed the main points of his latest publication, On Being: a scientist’s exploration of the great ideas of existence, where he champions the scientifi c method as the unrivalled path to knowledge about life, death and the in-between. In response to a question surrounding the idea of unattainable knowledge, Atkins explained that belief in the unknowable, such as the existence of an afterlife, is as “poetic” as it is “de-lusional”.

� e prevalence of atheistic thought in the scientifi c community is common-ly accepted as standard. Famous atheists are found in a wide variety of scien-tifi c fi elds, including three of the ‘Four Horsemen of New Atheism’: Richard

Dawkins (evolutionary biology), Daniel Dennett (cognitive science), Sam Harris (neuroscience) and the late Christopher Hitchens, whose career was rooted in political and philosophical commentary.

� ese writers frequently use scientifi c methods and analogies in their critique of theism, and it is undeniable that sci-ence and atheism are closely linked in the minds of many of their contempo-raries. Dawkins writes in his infamous work � e God Delusion that, “One of the truly bad eff ects of religion is that it teaches us that it is a virtue to be satisfi ed with not understanding.”

However, religious belief and sci-entifi c enterprise are not disparate in the minds of a signifi cant portion of

the scientifi c community and examples of religious scientists are easily found. Francis Collins, who directed the National Human Genome Research Institute for over ten years, famously became an evangelical Christian at the age of 27. � e Institute’s primary goal was to complete the human genome, and this prompted Collins to discuss how his faith complemented his scien-tifi c research. In an interview with Bob Abernethy, he describes the “wonderful, synthetic experience” of combining his scientifi c interest with his faith. He goes on to explain that scientifi c discovery al-lows an avenue to greater appreciation of God’s creation. His passion on this topic inspired him to create the BioLogos Foundation, which promotes discussion about the “compatibility of evolutionary creation and biblical faith”.

� is sentiment is echoed by Steph Alexander, a fi nal year chemistry stu-dent. When asked about the potential confl ict of science and religious belief, she was confi dently optimistic. “I think that confl ict between the understand-ing of science or use of the scientifi c method and faith comes from religious doctrine,” she explains. “Humans have

been granted an astounding capacity for discovery, and using these abilities to further our understanding of ourselves and our environment only gives us a greater ability to appreciate God. My studies have allowed me to use science to complement my faith, not only by opening my eyes to the full wonder of the world around us, but by giving me a way to analyse my beliefs and come to my own conclusions.”

When asked about Atkins’ lecture, she was quick to dismiss his view that belief in unattainable knowledge is a pessimistic outlook. “� e quest for knowledge is a God-given attribute that should be tempered, from a religious perspective, by the fact that we are not God, and therefore some things will re-main unknowable to us. However, this shouldn’t deter us from investigating as thoroughly as we can the nature of the world.”

Scientists have attracted attention in the academic study of religion for over a century. Benjamin Beit-Hallahmi writes in his article Atheists: A Psycho-logical Profi le that these studies have shown scientists and academics to be “consistently irreligious”, and that “more

eminent scientists are less religious than others”. � ese fi ndings seem to support the assumption that scientists denounce all religious beliefs.

However, Frank Pasquale in � e New Encyclopedia of Unbelief, makes the valid point that low religiosity, especially in relation to other self-proclaimed religious groups, does not indicate af-fi rmative irreligion. In simpler terms, not belonging to a religious faith does not automatically mean that you do not believe in a higher power, or that you identify as an atheist.

Clearly the stereotypical atheistic science student is a much more complex beast. By accepting the ideas of religious members of the scientifi c community, it could be possible to see the debate between science and religion from a dif-ferent angle, and engender the mutual respect and discussion which both sides claim to strive for.

Benjamin Beit-Hallahmi is being in-terviewed about psychological approaches to the study of religion by the Religious Studies Project (religiousstudiesproject.com). It will be available to download through the website or iTunes on 9 April.

CAN A non-human being be a person? What level of intelligence is required to be a person, and what rights does that entitle you to? Human society struggles enough with trying to make all human beings equal, but personhood could be extended beyond the typical lanky ape form to the sleek, water-born people of the sea.

No, mermaids do not exist. However, researchers have been testing the depth of dolphin and whale aptitude for dec-ades and now there is a group of scientists and ethicists who believe that cetaceans (whales, dolphins and porpoises) have a level of self-knowledge, intelligence and complex behaviour that should grant them recognition in human society.

For example, bottlenose dolphin calves remain with their mothers for the extended period of three to six years, to allow them time to learn all the behav-ioural intricacies required to be accepted into a pod. � ere is a vast web of rela-tionships between dolphins including the bond between mother and calf, friendships within their community and sometimes groups of bachelor males will form ‘supergangs’ that work together to fi ght rivals and stalk potential mates.

A Declaration of Rights for Cetaceans was drawn up last year, and at the world’s largest science conference in Vancouver there was a panel discussing the legal and ethical implications of the high level of intelligence shown in marine mammals.

Dr � omas White, an ethics expert at Loyola Marymount University in California, spoke at the conference in

favour of cetacean rights, “We’re saying the science has shown that individuality, consciousness and self-awareness are no longer unique human properties.

“Dolphins are non-human persons. A person needs to be an individual. And if individuals count, then the deliberate killing of individuals of this sort is ethi-cally the equivalent of deliberately killing a human being. � e captivity of beings of this sort, particularly in conditions that would not allow for a decent life, is ethically unacceptable, and commercial whaling is ethically unacceptable.”

� e declaration would make not only

whale-hunting illegal (a feat that history suggests is impossible) but would also ban the use of marine mammals held in cap-tivity. At the moment marine mammals are not recognised as victims in court due to their non-person status, as was seen in a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) lawsuit last month when the charity tried to sue SeaWorld Orlando on the basis that their perform-ing orcas were a violation of the 13th amendment: slavery. � e lawsuit caused a splash in the media but was dismissed by the judge as orcas do not have legally recognisable rights, ignoring the studies

that have shown that captivity has a neg-ative impact on the lives of these animals. Blood samples from captive dolphins diff er from the wild populations due to the stress of captivity, routine medication and diet as well as their behaviour which is aff ected by their small tanks prohibit-ing diving and foraging behaviour.

Performing marine mammals remain popular with most tourists and guests at SeaWorld, but a more supported breach of cetacean rights is that of whaling. Countries like Japan have been whal-ing since the 12th century, and even the International Whaling Commission

moratorium didn’t succeed in prevent-ing them from killing sea giants; Japan continues to take hundreds of minke and sperm whales from the ocean using the loophole of ‘scientifi c whaling’.

� ere is hope for legal recognition of animal rights. � ree years ago the Span-ish Parliament’s environmental commit-tee approved a resolution to grant great apes legal rights, allowing them the right to life and protecting them from use in research and exploitation for profi t (fi lms, commercials and circuses). However, the Spanish have been the only nation to support the non-human personhood plight so far, and no real action has been undertaken for marine mammals.

� e declaration consists of ten points to protect marine mammals’ “life, liberty and wellbeing”, which would grant them rights to freedom of movement and resi-dence in their natural habitat and pro-tection against disruption. � is would be a huge reward for conservationists by giving them a right to protest against higher fi shing quotas or actions that could pollute and disrupt the ocean.

Despite all the talk and hype, it is still a pipedream. Even with all the love west-ern civilisations hold for our sentient sea creatures, it is doubtful that it will be enough to overthrow all the institutions that benefi t from exploiting whale and dolphin rights. Killer whales perform-ing circus tricks in goldfi sh bowls are too popular, the demand for fi shing is too high and unfortunately the Japanese, Icelandic and Inuit love whale burgers too much.

Nina Seale questions whether we can continue to ignore the intelligence of the mammals living under the sea

Can the two be reconciled? Lindsey Robinson takes a look at whether there is a role for religion within science

What makes humans so human?

BOD

HI S

UR

F SC

HO

OL

Battle between religion and science LI

SA L

AN

GE

AN

D R

EBEC

CA

CH

AN

“The prevalence of atheistic thought in the scienti� c community is commonly accepted as standard."

SMART COOKIE: � e intelligence of cetaceans raises ethical questions about their treatment and rights

Tuesday March 20 2012 Amazed by atoms? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

FIFTY YEARS ago, virtual reality was just a sci-fi writer’s brainchild, and now it is almost everywhere. What’s more, our world seems to be going to the point where virtual experiences, almost as intense and meaningful as real ones, will be a common part of our everyday lives. To prove this, devices such as Microsoft’s Kinect and Sony’s personal 3D viewer have not only revolutionised the world of computer games, but have also enabled people to try virtual clothes and jewelleries, as well as to organise vir-tual conferences in virtual rooms, where the participants can read others’ body language in real time.

Scientists from the Virtual Human Interaction Laboratory (VHIL) at Stanford University in California even believe that virtual worlds can be used for changing people’s entrenched behaviour and perceptions, such as their perceived body image. � e VHIL is a million-dol-

lar lab that has been designed to study the dynamics and the possible implica-tions of people’s interactions with virtual reality simulations.

An unpublished study by a former researcher in the lab, Sun Joo Ahn, showed that virtual reality can encour-age people to re-examine their personal energy behaviour by making the link be-tween energy use and its consequences to the environment less abstract. Using avatars and diff erent virtual simula-tions, 47 volunteers were made either to cut down virtual trees with a virtual chainsaw, or to simply imagine doing so while reading a story. � e result was that later, in the physical world, those who did the former used less paper to clean an accidental water spill, which suggests the task had made them more environ-mentally aware.

According to one social cognitive theory, models can be powerful tools for

encouraging people to imitate particular types of behaviour. � e same eff ect has been used by the VHIL team to deter-mine the extent to which virtual self-models can be used to manipulate health and consumer behaviours. � e results have shown that participants, seeing their virtual selves either older or fatter, felt more inclined to exercise more, take care of their health more generally and even save money for their retirement, - a period of life perhaps previously un-imagined by young people. Scientists are now trying to understand if seeing your virtual self engaged in a healthful activ-ity, for example, can be more infl uential than seeing a virtual other.

Despite the promising fi ndings that immersive virtual experiences can be used to change people’s behaviour in useful ways, there is still a lot of work to be done in order to understand how long such eff ects last and the possible conse-

quences of using them. What is known is that it is defi nitely a diff erent way of sending out important messages and it may even turn out to be “more eff ective than public service announcements”, as Ahn suggests.

� ere is, of course, the question of what use this technology could be put to when in the ‘wrong’ hands, when the improved welfare or social awareness of the participant is not the primary goal. Advertisers seem to be the group most likely to take advantage of the platform, as a marketing device with endless po-tential for consumer manipulation.

� e further development of technol-ogies such as the immersive virtual ex-perience holds many possible outcomes – what is really interesting is how far it might be able to go. Maybe some day we will be able to improve our lifestyles and social status by simply observing our vir-tual model’s behaviour. Who knows?

SCIENCE & JOURNALISM:AN ILL-FATED LOVE?

IS THE relationship between science and journalism pre-destined for doom? Such a view seems to have proliferated into common sense and quite under-standably so – after all, the aims of the two professions do appear to be funda-mentally opposed.

While scientists spend months and years working to uncover their fi ndings, journalists generally practice their craft in the realm of ‘quick and dirty’ research, with its ‘researchers’ seeming only to care about sniffi ng out juicy stories like pigs rooting for truffl es.

� e “Orwellian Prize for Journalistic Misrepresentation”, founded by Oxford University’s Dorothy Bishop, exists to recognise the eff orts of such reporters, this year’s award going to the bastion of journalistic integrity that is � e Daily Mail. � e off ending article, bearing little, if any, resemblance to the research it is based on, was titled “Just ONE cannabis joint ‘can cause psychiatric episodes similar to schizophrenia’ as well as damaging memory”.

� is approach to science reporting is not so much an aff ront to science in par-ticular as it is just the house style of the papers involved. � e same tabloids that treat science reporting like a creative writing class take a similar, fl exible ap-proach to politics, personal boundaries and the truth, among other things. Why should science get any special treatment? While feeding the masses science fi ction in the guise of fact is not something that should be defended, these stories of grave misrepresentation are indicative of a problem with tabloid journalism as a whole, which has, thankfully, been getting its fair share of public attention recently.

Last Tuesday, scientists and journal-ists met in London to discuss how both could improve the standard of science reporting. Scientists underlined the importance of alerting journalists to easy traps. Science journalists brought ideas to the table such as asking more questions, defl ating exaggeration and avoiding biased material by not allowing researchers access to fi nal copies, along-side the necessity for scientists to make themselves available for clarifi cation in press release.

Even a minute amount of scrutiny will reveal that the aims of the scientifi c and journalistic communities are not so opposed. More than this, they need each other in order to achieve their common goal – to deliver interesting, accurate and cutting edge information to the public.

While there is no shortage of hacks who will bend the truth until it makes a good headline, it is promising that there are also a lot of science journalists who have not only built respectable reputa-tions, but are working to guide any giddy reporter feeling a little creative to do the same.

Rebecca Chan

TECH

CRU

NCH

.CO

M

Put your hose away, mateWater scarcity is no small issue, argues Sarah Aldous, and it is set to become our biggest challenge yet

Seeing is believingKaterina Gospodinova assesses the potential for virtual reality to make better citizens of us all

THE IDEA of the world running out of water sounds impossible – after all, 71 per cent of our planet is water. However, the problem of water shortage is both real and relevant, because of the diffi culties we are facing in terms of the accessibility and safety of the water we use. Only 2.75 per cent of water is freshwater and only 1 per cent of this is useable. In theory this should be enough to support the present population of 7 billion, but the reality is that around 700 million people in 43 countries today suff er from water scarcity and by 2025, this is likely to have risen to 1.8 billion.

� ese issues and others will be ad-dressed by the World Water Forum which meets soon in Marseilles to dis-cuss the increasing demand on our water supply, and how to meet this challenge. � ere are many reasons for water scarcity, not least the physical inaccessibility of freshwater, as it is held mainly in remote lakes or in underground reservoirs. � is requires fi nancial input to ensure the in-frastructure can deliver this water to the population, something which many de-veloping countries lack. Climate change also aff ects the water distribution, as temperatures and rainfall patterns shift water supplies, which are put under greater stress, and the likelihood of both

fl oods and droughts increases. During the last decade more than 2 billion people have been aff ected by drought and more than 11 million people have died as a result of it.

Increasing urbanisation over recent generations also increases the strain on water supply. As less people live near natural sources of water, more infra-structure is required to deliver fresh, safe water. Half the world’s population lives in cities, and it is estimated that in 20 years this will rise to 60 per cent. � e UN warns that by 2070 water stress will aff ect up to 44 million people, including those in parts of Europe.

Such pressures on water supplies should be met with effi cient recycling and treatment. However, according to � e Independent, more than 80 per cent

of used water worldwide is neither col-lected nor treated. Water pollution is also a major problem as in many developing countries 70 per cent of industrial waste, including that of the pharmacological industry, is dumped into water supplies, and agricultural waste is easily washed into rivers, causing eutrophication. � ere are also obvious dangerous and long-lasting consequences of a lack of eff ective water management. One in four people in a city live without access to eff ective sanitation facilities, which quickly leads to a spread of waterborne diseases such as Cholera and Typhoid.

� e problems spread wider than the immediate eff ect of poor sanitation and lack of access to freshwater. Water is used in all areas of our daily lives and is an es-sential part of any industry. � is makes water a political and economical resource and is likely to impact global develop-ment and international relations between those with and without adequate water supplies. � ese inequalities are quickly becoming clear: a citizen living in a Nai-robi slum, for example, is likely to pay 5 to 7 times more for a litre of water that the average North American citizen, confl icting with a basic human right to aff ordable and safe water.

� ere are many programs trying

to ensure everyone has access to safe, clean water. � e UN declared ‘Water for Life Decade’ for 2005 to 2015, and announced a set of goals. � ese included access to water for domestic and produc-tive uses, adequate treatment of waste water, reducing the pressure on freshwa-ter resources, and helping to protect hu-man and environmental health as well as calling for increased international coop-eration to improve water quality through shared technologies. Fortunately it is not all doom and gloom, as last week the UN announced that the drinking-water tar-get has been met, and between 1990 and 2010, over two billion people gained ac-cess to improved drinking-water sources. Other organisations working to meet the challenge include the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Develop-ment (OECD) who believe that “Eco-nomic instruments like tariff s, taxes and transfers – the 3Ts – are powerful tools to ensure an effi cient use of water.”

Whether these challenges to ensure a sustainable safe water supply are met through economic, political or chari-table means, the importance of this issue should not be forgotten nor disregarded. Water shortage aff ects us all, even if this is not yet apparent, and we cannot take our supply for granted.

BABY, YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR: Only virtually, of course.

“70 per cent of industrial waste, including that of the pharmacological industry, is dumped into water supplies."

Science & Environment 15

Tuesday March 20 2012 Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

IT SEEMS that the printed word is becoming ever less relevant as online media becomes more comprehensive and accessible. As such, the recent news that Encyclopedia Britannica is discontinuing its printed edition as of this year is, while sad, not entirely surprising.

First published in Edinburgh in 1768, the Britannica quickly became the gold standard of encyclopedias throughout its 244 year run. � e last decade, however, has seen the rise of Google and Wikipedia, which provide fast, cheap, easy access to a plethora of information. As a consequence, Britiannica has gone from selling over 120,000 copies in 1990 to around 8,000 this year, with another 4,000 compris-ing the fi nal stock to be sold.

As well as Wikipedia, the print edition also competes with Britannica’s

own online encyclopedia, which features multimedia pages, search functions and links between articles. More importantly, updates of articles can happen instantly, without the need to reprint the entire series. In essence, it’s just like Wikipedia. From what I can tell, the two main diff erences between the two encyclopedias is that Britannica is more eloquently written and is written by experts and, as such, is considered a valid reference for journal-ists and academics.

In contrast, the print edition consists of 30 volumes arranged in a somewhat redundant three tier struc-ture. A micropedia of small, concise articles, a macropedia of long detailed articles and a propedia that readers use to navigate the volumes. � is makes each fact check a cumbersome task, and what’s worse, after a couple of years, a

signifi cant amount of the information will probably be out of date anyway. All for the low price of $1,400. Despite the sentimentality one might have for this sacred tome, when you compare its usefulness to that of an online resource, it becomes painfully obvious why the print edition is no longer relevant.

Britannica’s online encyclopedia, which is thus far unaff ected, asks users for a $70 annual subscription. While the laymen will likely continue to

use Wikipedia despite its somewhat dubious reputation as an information reference, Britannica Online will attempt to compete in the areas where having a reliable source is paramount, such as journalism, academia and reference libraries.

� e passing of the encyclopedia is yet another symbolic milestone in the digital revolution of modern society. Not so long ago, the ‘sum of human knowledge’ was restricted to the owners of these massive books, a symbol of status rather than a tool of knowledge. Today, almost everyone can access the same information, as well as a great deal more, for practically nothing. On the other hand, the same money that was once spent keeping book collections up to date is now being invested in PCs, iPads, smart-phones and broadband internet access.

RHYTHM ACTION Games are hardly uncommon these days. Every-one by now should have had a chance to play along to classic anthems on Rock Band or fl ail about like an idiot on Dance Dance Revolution. Iridium Studio’s Sequence is yet another game in an increasingly stale genre, but man-ages to liven things up a bit by featur-ing action elements and conforming more to what you might expect from a conventional roleplaying game.

� e storyline is suitably retro. Hap-less twenty-something Ky is trapped in an unknown tower by an unknown agency for an unknown purpose. Es-cape and survival lie at the top of the structure, but each staircase is guarded by a locked door and a grotesquely ste-reotyped guardian. Keys to each door, as well as other items, are synthesised (pun completely intended) from in-gredients dropped by the monsters Ky defeats on his way. Needless to say, said monsters are defeated in freestyle dance battles. Well, how else would one defeat a monster?

In combat, arrows drop all too rap-idly down three parallel panes - green is for spells, red for defence and blue for mana. Like any other rhythm game, you have to match these arrows with your controller, or dance mat if you’re awesome, hitting the right directions at the right times. Unlike other games, you can only aff ect one of the three ac-tive panes at a time, switching freely between them. If you’re shielding your

hitpoints from damage on defence, you can’t simultaneously cast attack spells or recharge your mana gauge, for instance. � is leads to all kinds of tricky, split second decisions. Do you switch to defence to stop those red ar-rows from hitting you or do you stick to the green panel and fi nish the spell you're halfway through casting? Do you bring up blue to keep your mana charged or do you rely on taking out your opponent with precise strikes? In both cases, the best answer is usu-ally fl icking rapidly between the three panes, relying on your subconscious, peripheral vision and a bit of luck to guide you. Although most battles are superfi cially identical, each level of the tower brings a new guardian eff ect into the mix as well as new items and abili-

ties to be synthed. � e voice acting is a little awkward,

especially in the fi rst chapter, but fortu-nately the cast quickly get warmed up and things soon get a bit more bearable. While the dialogue isn’t particularly endearing, the miscellaneous fl avour text is delightful. Every item, every ingredient, every skill, has its own little facetious, pun-based description. It’s not every day the description of “Ironic Armour” or a “fl ower (one who fl ows)” will have you chuckling, but Sequence manages it time and again.

Every monster has a set of statistics, as one would expect from a more tradi-tional RPG, but also its own electroni-ca soundtrack, provided by the likes of internet star Ronald Jenkees. Although there is a certain amount of strategy in-

volved - certain attacks will work better on certain monsters, for instance - the diffi culty of a fi ght is more often deter-mined by the tempo and track length of its song. � e game does get notice-ably repetitive when you’re looking for that one last item to clear a fl oor, but it is pleasantly transparent and makes a point of explicitly stating your chances of fi nding a given item.

Fittingly, as a game built around remixes, Sequence is itself a remix of two over-familiar genres, combining them into something new and excit-ing. Firmly entrenched in the budget price-range and available from Steam and the various console marketplaces, Sequence is defi nitely worth making a song and dance about.

Do the monster mash

Tom Hasler doesn't bemoan the loss of the iconic reference bible

Britannica pax it in?O

LIVE

R N

INN

IS

“After a couple of years, the information will probably be out of date anyway."

DANCING ISN'T HARD: You just have to hit the arrows in sequence

IF YOU have a Game loyalty card, now may well be the last chance to claim any rewards as the retail store fi ghts for survival this month. � e situation looks bleak for Game Group, whose shares have plum-meted from a value of 62p just a year ago to an all-time-low of 0.5p last week, putting the entire com-pany at a value of just £4.5 million. Analyst Peter Smedley of Charles Stanley Securities warned that an “imminent collapse into adminis-tration is now a real possibility”.

In the desperate hope that the chain will be able to continue on a smaller scale, Game Group has al-ready selected 35 stores to be closed, with the intention of shutting down 60 by the end of 2013. Meanwhile, competitors are already looking into buying out the company. Share price rapidly rose 95 per cent when private investment fi rm OpCapita was reported as planning to buy the chain and US retailers Wal-Mart and GameStop are also rumoured to be interested.

With Game in such a precarious position, publishers are becoming increasingly reluctant to supply the stores with the new titles essential for bringing in customers. Disap-pointed shoppers were informed that EA’s recent blockbuster Mass Eff ect 3 would not be making an appearance on shelves on launch day. EA has also stated that Game will no longer be stocking impor-tant expansions to the FIFA, Tiger Woods and � e Sims series. Other publishers have followed suit, with Nintendo declaring that anticipat-ed Kid Icarus: Uprising will not be sold in Game stores. Industry giants such as Capcom and Sega will also be withdrawing their support. � ese losses are of dire signifi cance to the company. With a £15 million rental payment coming at the end of the month, Game cannot aff ord to be losing the buisness of such major franchises.

� ese troubles are not new, but rather symptomatic of the strug-gling industry of physical video game retail. With online providers such as Steam, Xbox Live Market-place and Amazon (to name just a few), which provide a wider variety of games at cheaper prices that can be purchased without ever having to leave the house, it is becoming diffi cult to see a market for stores like Game. In the new age of on-line shopping, DLC, and games on demand, such niche retailers are ar-tefacts of the past and perhaps their remaining time is limited.

Benji Sales

OLI

VER

NIN

NIS

IRID

IUM

Alasdair MacLeod throws down some mad shapes in Sequence

IridiumPC, 360, PS3£2-4

SEQUENCE

Tuesday March 20 2012 Send us your stories on fashion, beauty and health [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

Lifestyle 17

FRIENDSHIPS BETWEEN men and women are hardly unusual. When people say ‘men and women can’t be friends’, they are providing an oversim-plifi ed solution to a plethora of issues that arise in these scenarios. � at isn’t to say there isn’t an element of truth to the old proverb; in reality, many of these friendships have an underlying element of sexual attraction for at least one party. According to a poll conducted by Handbag.com, 45 per cent of women

admitted that most of their male friends were ex-lovers and two thirds admitted to having the occasional ‘slip-up’ (sleep-ing with their friends). But this is natural and as long as both individuals are hon-est with themselves and their friends, things rarely get too far out of hand. Of course, as a man, I can hardly give com-prehensive insight for both parties, but I can at least give a male perspective on the issue, which hopefully isn’t too far removed from that of the fairer sex.

� e same qualities that guys look for in friends are also often sought in po-tential partners. If someone is friendly, charming, smart and interesting, then I typically want to be friends with her. If you were to ask yourself what you fi nd attractive, physical attributes aside of course, then you’ll likely have a similar criteria. � is is what can often create ambiguity in mixed gender friendships; if both parties really enjoy each other's company you might say, perhaps in jest, they’d make a good couple. And in es-sence, you'd be right. After all they are a good match, in a platonic sense at least.

� ere are many valid reasons why friends stay friends and those friend-ships can be perfectly healthy. � e ma-jor complication that emerges is when attraction is one sided, which can some-times lead to the dreaded and notorious ‘friend zone’. Of course, all friends are technically in the friend zone, but what is actually being talked about is when someone develops strong feelings for a close friend and the aff ection is not returned. � is is why guys avoid get-ting too close with female friends and why they try to establish a relationship quickly if they fi nd a girl attractive. If there is a ‘spark’, then it will only lead to more intense attraction as the friend-

ship grows and this can often destroy a friendship.

If both friends have an attraction to one another, there are dozens of other minor issues that one might encounter as well, jealousy when pursuing separate relationships for example. I am pretty sure most men do suff er from this jeal-ousy and, according to the Handbag poll, 38 per cent of women do as well. While some may occasionally have ca-sual sex or enter a ‘friends with benefi ts’ situation, there lies a huge potential to distort those friendships.

� e key to avoiding any issues is honesty. Be honest with yourself about your own feelings and be honest with others. In particular, try to be honest from as early as possible rather than let-ting anything escalate beyond where it is supposed to. If you have an attraction for somebody or you sense that they have such feelings for you, then be wary of how close you become as friends. Either maintain a certain degree of distance, or better yet, try to start a relationship if the circumstances are right. Having said that, if you are in a comfortable close friendship with someone of the oppo-site gender, then everything is A-Okay, so long as all the cards are on the table.

THE

NEW

YO

RK S

TEA

M P

ACK

ET

Viennese WhirlsAcademic quality or � nancial quantity?

WITH CATASTROPHIC ris-es in the cost of UK tuition fees, piled upon the already sizable debt that the average student faces, it is not surprising that European universities are seeing a sharp rise in prospective UK applicants. Last night, sipping a beer in one of Vienna’s coolest bars, I spoke to an equally cool Japanese friend who left Tokyo for Austria in pursuit of cheaper education. It was much cheaper for him to live and learn here for a year than to undergo a fi rst year in one of the more common Japanese university choices. � e average Austrian student pays a total of €36 euros a year for their studies, which is awarded to the National Union of Students and is funnelled straight into vari-ous student services. Parents are given benefi ts for their children all the way up to the age of 25, so long as they are still pursu-ing higher education, and living costs are also cheaper. Courses can last up to six years, with the student choosing how many credits to take a term.

Comparatively speaking, Austria seems to genuinely believe in the right to an edu-cation for all, without a hefty price tag. ‘Penniless student’ stereotypes aside, poverty amongst students is a very real phenomenon, with many fall-ing between the gaps of what the government will provide and what the parents can af-ford. The squeezed middle is facing the brunt of our current cutting culture. Faced with such stark parallels, I have often wondered why it has taken so long for the interest in foreign universities to gain momentum, as it seems like a much better deal. However, as much as the UK system has got it very wrong, there are certain things that they have managed to get right. While a laidback attitude to education will certainly suit some, it has created a mentality within the Viennese students of not really having to care. Any exam can be taken three times before it is considered a fail and gap years between studies are very common. As every student 16 and up is entitled to a place, regardless of their academic record, classes are often over subscribed and the quality of teaching can be below par.

After studying here for the best part of a year, it is not something I would choose to do outside of an exchange and makes me appreciate just how good we have it. It seems that because it is so readily avail-able, the value of university education in Vienna is com-promised. Despite the world and his wife now going to university, an establishment like ours still requires pretty impressive ability; ability nur-tured by teaching from some of the best of the best. So, maybe our spiralling debts shouldn’t seem so bad?

Francesca Larcombe

Just friends: man talkTom Hasler gives a male perspective in response to our recent article on mixed-sex friendships

JOA

NN

A L

ISIO

VEC

Chloe Ride heads to � e New York Steam Packet but fi nds the burgers don't quite 'stack up'LARGE CORPORATE chains such as � e Hard Rock Cafe and TGI Fri-days, which specialise in gut-busting burgers and sparkler topped sundaes, dominate the scene when it comes to American cuisine. But what does Edinburgh have to off er if you want to escape the anonymity of these large chains in pursuit somewhere more personal and authentically American?

When I fi rst arrived at � e New York Steam Packet, I was very excited. Despite being late for our booking because we struggled to fi nd the tiny restaurant tucked away on a lane off Rose Street, walking up the winding staircase felt like the beginnings of a dining experience that I hadn’t seen before in Edinburgh.

� e fl oor space is strategically organized, allowing the well-trained staff to cover tables swiftly and easily.� e decor makes you feel like you’ve stepped into a cosy boat cabin. As students, the fact that the restaurant is also BYOB was great for us. � e start-ers on the set £16 menu looked great; we ordered the deep-fried potato skins with ‘Harlem Dip’ (chilli mayo) and the Haggis balls with whisky mustard dip from our very friendly waitress. While the Haggis balls were crispy and piping hot, disappointingly the skins were bland, soggy and lacked fl avour, with not enough chili in the dipping sauce to compensate.

Next, it was onto the mains and what better place to order a classic

burger from than an American restau-rant? However, no such luck. When our chicken and beef burgers arrived, we couldn’t actually distinguish be-tween the two, as the chicken burger was so burnt. It was surprising that it had actually been sent out of the kitchen and not completely redone. � e consistency was also strange as the meat had been minced, seasoned and formed into a patty rather than classically kept as a whole chicken breast. Fortunately, the beef burger tasted good, but the only thing it came with was cheese. What is a burger if it isn’t garnished with lettuce, tomato and pickles? It did come with a side salad, but it was made up of peppers, cucumber and onion- hardly a typical American side dish.

� e New York Steam Packet has the potential to create an awesome burger and use this as their unique appeal for customers in search of American cui-sine. While the website says they aim to create simple food with little prepa-ration, there is such a thing as being overly simplifi ed. � e cheese tasted great and the chips were the perfect example of traditional French fries, but they need to push a little harder to bring their burgers up to standard.

� e desserts of chocolate fudge cake and toff ee crunch dime pie were the most American part of the menu. � e toff ee crunch pie was by far the best thing we had all night, although I personally would have preferred it

with a side of ice cream rather than whipped cream - it would have been good to be given the option at least. � e same could also be said of the chocolate fudge because although the sponge was quite thick and heavy, the decadent chocolate fudge icing was to die for.

Overall, � e New York Steam Packet has many grounds for improve-ment and these weaknesses led to a generally disappointing meal. While the atmosphere and service is incred-ibly decent, the food left something to be desired and I personally wouldn’t visit again.

ROM

AN

CE

ETE�

L

Empire state of bland?

NYSP: Investigating the dark alleys of American cuisine

INEVITABLE: Are Harrys always destined to be with Sallys?

Tuesday March 20 2012 Contact: studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

18 Crossword & Horoscopes

7 DUD palindrome 12 MAYFLOWER May (hawthorn) + flower 14 AMADEUS made in AUS (tralia) (W A Mozart) 15 MINARET mint round era (rev) 17 ROMAN contained Mauro Mandolucci 19 HUSSY shy* round US 20 PAM 2 definitions (Palmerston’s nickname)

* = anagram of the preceding material(rev) = reverse the preceding material

5 Partygoers welcome absolute fool at first, one who can’t catch anything (13) 8 He discovered America in a fit of punctuation (5) 9 Staggering from gin circulated after dance (7) 10 Reprimand young Edward, getting angry in Seattle (6, 3)12 Head for Hazel ? (3)13 Good-looking, well-trained and ready for a song (3)15 Spies hide booze and Mafia boss in Scotland (9) 18 Spacecraft that doesn’t land makes circuit right round earth (7)19 All together now, show disapproval of the Indian openers (5)20 Old monster gets Rosy and Ann legless in The Bull (13)

CRYPTIC CLUES

CONCISE CLUES (same answers)

Solutions to Dual Crossword No. 10

Dual Crossword No. 11

BY PICUS

The Chambers Dictionary (2008) is recommended

Comments, questions, complaints etc can reach the compiler via the editors

Across 5 He can’t catch for toffee (13) 8 Punctuation mark (5) 9 Staggering (7)10 Reprimanded (6, 3)12 (One off his) head (3)13 In good condition (3)15 Scotland (9)18 Circling spacecraft (7)19 The whole orchestra (5)20 Dinosaur (13)

Down 1 Writing style (6) 2 The wild cherry (4)

3 Malnourished (8) 4 Roman military unit (6) 5 Topsy-turvy (4, 2, 5) 6 Wells’ stagecoach partner (5) 7 Sign of The Archer (11) 11 Stimulating (8) 14 Herald’s blouse (6) 16 Slow movement (5) 17 Innate character (6)

19 Freshwater duck (4)

Across 1 KIT 2 definitions (ref Kit Carson) 3 HEARTWOOD (Dora, to hew)*

8 NO-WIN Now in (batting) 9 TOUCHED 2 defs plus ouch in Ted 10 CHOC-ICE contained Macho CIC eats 11 ABRIM AB + rim 13 BE THAT AS IT MAY (Tim eats hat, bay)* 16 ATRIA 2 definitions 18 ETHANOL (the loan)* 20 POMPEII Pomp + E x I t + 1

Across

Down 1 Script used for emphasis. The very thing Ms Liddell left unfinished (6) 2 Orange, not gold, blends into cherry (4) 3 Fred, dancing after nude exposition appears malnourished (8) 4 The Lion devours soldier with note for old military unit (6) 5 It’s all the wrong way round, giving support to pretence (4, 2, 5) 6 A long way to travel for a film (5) 7 The Archer’s a fool with time to intervene in the break-up of Russia (11)11 Stirring up old partner, quoting …. (8)14 …. Bill (semi-ardent) in sleeveless tunic (6)16 Old god has to travel slowly (5)17 Character near exploding about workers’ group (6)19 Waterfowl are late scattering (4)

21 STREW R in stew 22 MONASTERY (Tory means)* 23 TOR Rot (rev)

Down 1 KING COBRA Kin + g + CO + bra 2 TOW BOAT Boa replaces i of to wit 3 HONGI Hon (orary) + GI 4 AT THE SAME TIME (Tim eats meat he)* 5 TSUNAMI T ‘ (the) + sun + ami 6 OPHIR op + hir(e) (ref “Cargoes”, John Masefield)

LAST WEEK we looked at Composite (Kebab) clues, where the “extra material” consists of items to be used (fodder) and indicators that tell us how to use them, (and then add them together like bits of lamb on a skewer) - to get the same answer as the definition gives us.

Indicators come in many shapes and sizes. They may tell you to put this bit inside that bit (or vice versa), to reverse an item or to take its odd (or even) let-ters and put them somewhere.

X pierces/ enters / Y (or just ‘X in Y’) means take X (or synonym) and place it inside Y.

X round / contains / about Y means that Y goes inside X

X returning / in retreat means “reverse X”

Y goes / comes / is / lies / after X means “place Y (or synonym) after X and so on.

Anagram clues are common and they need an anagram indicator. Again there are umpteen possibilities. A word such as ‘breaks, moves, changes etc’ in the non-definition part of the clue (or just ‘out’) may well mean “re-arrange the letters of the relevant item”

Compilers try to choose anagram indicators that fit with the item to be re-arranged (or the answer).

“Tory means to dissolve religious community” (answer MONASTERY) uses ‘to dissolve’ (The dissolution of the Monasteries - Henry VIII).

“Put out a stained sheet for launder-ing (13) (ANAESTHETISED)

uses ‘for laundering’ as the anagram indicator

“On the other hand Tim eats meat he minced” (AT THE SAME TIME) uses ‘minced’

A bit about cryptic clues

1 2 3 4

5 6 7

8 9

10 11 12

13 14 15 16 17

18 19

20

Telepathic Timothy always clutches his thought bladder. This mysterious appendage was given to him by Orion’s unicorn (Noel Edmonds), after he helped Noel paint his new bedsit. One firm squeeze of his throbbing thought sac sends shivers of celestial dreams right up his arse, hence his characteristic expression.

AriesThis week, you are chased down Nicol-son Street by velociraptors. However, consistent with current paleontologi-cal consensus they are actually only the size of chickens. Think less Jurassic Park and more Chicken Run.

TaurusThis week, attracted by the range of flavours, your milkshake will bring all the boys to the yard. On Friday you will try making lentil soup, but it will prove less alluring.

GeminiOrion is in the zion of Neptune. This week, you and friends attend a semi-professional orgy. Heed Mars’ advice and Groupon that shit.

CancerThis week you are really upset as your boyfriend gets back from a business trip and you find that instead of work-ing, he’s been living it up with a tall, dangerously attractive, black man who happens to be President of the United States. All you’ve been doing is play-ing drinking games with a delusional fat Scottish nationalist. Pluto is harsh and says that’s what you get for lying about tuition fees.

LeoYou have been engaged to be married for six months, and yet now, of all times, you begin to get cold feet. Your fiance senses this and poos in your shoes to remedy the situation. Your fears are dissipated, absorbed into your big shitty gooey soles.

VirgoLike the Sudan, the library is a cruel and arid desert this week. Searching in vain for a working water fountain, you stumble, parched, down the aisles of the third floor, crying 'Water, wa-ter!' After weakly heaving your legs over the scores of Malaysian dead, you drink the blood of a defenceless first year just to survive, then leave and go home for tea.

LibraThis week you are the newly unem-ployed Archbishop of Canterbury. You decide the time is right for a change in career path: your plums are ripe for the picking and you duly find employment in a Jewish strip club: Lothian Road’s ‘Bar-Tits-va’.

ScorpioAt last, after months of waiting, Nep-tune has mated with Uranus and pro-duced an iPad 3 - known as Steve. You will rush down to Cancom to waste your money on their love child, in an act analogous to posting £50 notes down the drain. You will retire to Bean Scene to gushingly tweet about its HD screen and improved camera, cooing as you gently fondle Steve’s glossy face. You tech-pigeon, you.

SagittariusThis week at the Student Media Ball, you lie and tell everyone you are the editor of The Journal before taking off your shoes in the middle of the ceilidh and taking a dump. You slide along the tiles to wipe your arse and now your pelvic floor is in dire need of re-carpet-ing.

CapricornThis week you swallow too much Wri-gleys chewing gum. It forms a Bezoar in your duodenum and culminates in a minty anal plug. As if that wasn't bad enough, your trousers are now perma-nently stuck to your arse.

AquariusMars is really getting on your tits this week. This causes your silicone implants to melt under its heat, bor-ing through your ribcage like two hot silicone tit-cakes. Crikey.

PiscesIn a dramatic misinterpretation of the term 'flash mob', you are arrested by the police. They tell you the event was scheduled for the previous Satur-day, and beg you to put 'the sergeant' away.

Oli

ver

nin

nis

rEVIEWCOMMISSION #22: aNNa bruCe

S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010reVIeW

Anna Bruce is a 5th year MA Sculpture student. Recently, Bruce has been developing a project called “Urban Temporality”, which has inspired a photography blog called “Another Roadside Attraction”. In her own words: “As we produce at a rapid scale we are becoming capable of creating an extraordinary world full of bright and moving images, and these can be seen as big and as high up as we can imagine. However, these structures and effects are correspondingly ephemeral, and while we are distracted by the vibrant and the new, natural elements start to erode the underlying structures of our environment.”

The aim of ‘Another Roadside Attraction’ is to raise an awareness of the details of where we live - whether it is cracks in a wall, a humorous sign, a single shoe discarded on the pavement or any of the people that fill the streets with life. There is always something to catch our eye as pass through the day, and now camera phones and digital technology have made it so much easier to capture these moments.

If you would like to send any images to become part of Bruce’s project please forward them to: [email protected] or visit the blog at: www.streetside.blogspot.com

Tuesday March 20 2012 Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

1 Culture

The setting is a suburban house somewhere in Britain. � e time

is unclear, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn it was 1984. In this “dystopian comedy” by ex-Bedlamite Sam Holcroft, Nick and Marianne (William Watt and Ailis Duff , respectively) are Resistance operatives temporarily fi lling the roles of Edgar and Annabel. � ey are completely average, career-oriented 30-somethings who want only to act natural, get on with life and avoid suspicion from the local, ever-vigilant, authoritarian regime. � is means sticking to their scripts, even when emotions run high and reality stops being refl ected in their lines. Mistakes could be disastrous; slip-ups could be fatal. Espe-cially when your idyllic abode is also a stockpile of volatile petrochemicals.

� e play is cleverly written, with lay-ered characters and an uncomfortably relatable dystopic world, giving away just enough plot to whet the audience’s ap-petite, but leaving enough unsaid so that they’re desperate for clues. Why is this one house important enough to justify so much sacrifi ce? Are the books on the shelf meaningful? Are the title characters

a reference to Poe’s fi nal poem? My main criticism would be that

the pacing felt a little inconsistent. As Miller, the couple’s mysterious han-dler, puts it, “their relationship has to be seen to change in real time” to be believable. Watt and Duff ’s characters of Nick and Marianne fi nd themselves bonding even as Nick and Marianne’s characters of Edgar and Annabel drift apart. � is results in a particularly memorable scene; Edgar and Annabel embrace and trade insults as the script demands and kisses as do their hearts.

More time could be spent ex-amining these tangled, intersecting relationships. In contrast, the karaoke scene, despite being entertaining and (fairly) necessary, could have been achieved in half the time.

Given Holcroft’s Bedlam roots, it’s easy to see a bit of Bedlam in the play, and easy to understand why Bedlam would be so into it.

Punchline, a new Edinburgh comedy night attempting to bring big name

comics to play at the massive Usher Hall, despite having one of the best line-ups on the circuit, did not provide the punch promised in the title. � is was mostly not the fault of the come-dians, in fact most were on top form, but the space and audience size shook them, ruining any potential atmosphere that these comics can, and usually do, create.

Mark Olver, compere for the eve-ning, managed to win over the tepid audience. � e comic managed to fi nd the fun in the audience with ease and picked out the perfect people to pick on. Despite the size of the stage, he never felt drowned in the space.

First on the line-up was a mystery guest – the brilliant Frankie Boyle. As expected, the Scot was fi st-bitingly of-fensive and provoked gasps from the

audience. Unfortunately, most were nowhere near ready for jokes about Mi-chael Jackson’s childrens’ hospital this early in the evening, stifl ing the laughs that usually follow his outrageous hu-mour.

Following on was Seann Walsh. � e observational comic was certainly the most drowned in the space. His set was fi lled with great moments, including a brilliant joke about attempting to fi nd a seat on public transport. Unfortunately, his energetic delivery did not transfer to the barn-like venue and most of his jokes fell as fl at as a heart machine con-nected to a dead puppy. In this space, it felt like he was attempting to emulate Ross Noble, with both worse and pre-pared material.

In between the stand-ups were the inventive sketch group Idiots of Ants. � is London-based lot managed to improve the lagging atmosphere im-mensely. � e high-energy sketches about hand only swinging parties and sex changes thanks to a hen night hang-over were brilliantly timed and well-performed.

� e group set the scene perfectly

for the night’s headliner, Andrew Law-rence. By far the highlight of the night, the comic whipped the audience into a fi t with his advertisement for “biscuity crispy chocolate cake” and did not pause for breath as he romped triumphantly through his material.

Punchline provided a line-up that varied dramatically. � e order harmed the night; by having Boyle start and Walsh follow, the audience were set up for something blindingly off ensive and then were treated by vanilla jokes about buses. Lawrence hit the nail on the head by saying “[we had] been a wonderfully intimate audience in an aircraft hanger of a venue.” � e Usher Hall, when it isn’t full, is soul-crushing for any per-former and this was distinctly evident during Punchline .

Thom Louis

Palinopsia is an exhibition of twelve contemporary videos displayed by

several young UK-based artists who aim to leave a lasting impression on their viewers. � e works were exhibited at Captain Taylor’s Coff eehouse, a café run by Streetwork, a charitable organi-sation whose goal is to enable life for

the homeless off the streets. It must be noted that the display was

very confusing to follow. � e individual exhibits were not numbered or labelled, instead accompanied by a somewhat unclear fl oor plan.

� e most elaborate video was defi nitely Alex Widdowson’s PRN – a critique of the exploitation of certain medications. � e video follows a se-quence in which a person continuously transforms from man to cow. He is captured by three other men who slit the animal’s throat and inject the hu-man. � eir attempt to stop the inces-sant transformation fails as the man

turns back into an animal, now dead.

� ere were several videos that I

could not grasp and simply found banal. � is selection includes Chris Hopkins’s “Blue Ball”, a video that consists of a man bouncing a large yoga ball against various objects on the street.

� ere was also the somewhat pointless video by Rebecca Clark – a re-enactment of a single moment from BBC’s Test Card F, which was intended to blur the lines between still image and video.

However, I was truly captivated by Chris MacInnes’s display “� e Referent Entombed”. � is exhibit was composed of a candlelit shrine commemorating a deceased woman, along with two videos

that captured a magnifi cation of live human cells and organs. � is created the mystifying impression of a truly unique memorial keeping the referent virtually alive.

� ere were two extremes of calibre in this exhibition. Some videos were undoubtedly thought-provoking, while many others failed to leave an impres-sion.

Several of the works were too sim-plistic in character, which did not align with the few exhibits that were highly elaborate.

Maria Kheyfets

As the former Head of Printmaking at the Royal College of Art, the late

Alistair Grant is a well-known name in the art world. I have to admit my expec-tations were rather high as went I along to see Alistair Grant (1925-1997) now on display at the Open Eye Gallery.

Consisting of 15 prints, the exhibi-tion takes us to bleak landscapes in which shades of black, white and blue construct a framework from which the artist tries to evoke a certain feeling. A feeling of what, you may ask? Loneli-ness would be my best answer. From the dark and gloomy “Roundabout Etaples” to the colourful, yet surpris-ingly distressing “Plage du Havre”, our minds are left with strangely confl icting impressions: if the children are playing together by the roundabout, why do they all look so alone? When Grant uses warmer colours like yellow and

brown, why do I still get the shivers just from looking at each print? � e expres-sion “forever alone” has rarely seemed more appropriate.

� e fact that the collection consists of both etchings and lithographs cre-ates a welcoming sense of variation and uniqueness in an exhibition in which the overreaching general impres-sion stands out so strongly. � e only drawback that comes to mind is that a couple of the more colourful prints ap-pear somewhat misplaced amongst the amazingly bleak, almost dark images that make up the majority of the collec-tion. However, on the whole, if Grant’s aim was to create thought-provoking and beautiful art, then his attempt was certainly a success; there is little here to stop it being so.

It is on this basis that I sincerely encourage you take a stroll down to the Open Eye Gallery. And who knows? Perhaps you won’t feel a sense of loneli-ness at all. � e warm colours and playing children might evoke a totally diff erent reaction for everyone who views them.

Lene Korseberg

Alasdair MacLeod is doubleplus impressed by Sam Holcroft's view of dystopian Britain in Edgar & Annabel

20

HO

LLY

JAM

ESO

N

Open Eye Gallery 'til 27 March

ALISTAIR GRANT

Doublethink about this

DAV

ID M

ON

TEIT

H-H

OD

GE,

PH

OTO

GRA

PHIS

E.O

RG

“Giving away just enough plot to whet the audience's appetite."

PUNCHLINEUsher HallRun ended

PALINOPSIACaptain Taylor's Co� ee House

Run ended

PASS THE WINE DEAR, YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH: Edgar and Annabel read from their scripts

Bedlam Theatre Run Ended

“Most of his jokes fell as flat as a heart machine connected to a dead puppy."

“This selection includes Chris Hopkins's "Blue Ball", a video that consists of a man bouncing a large yoga ball against various objects in the street."

Tuesday March 20 2012 Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

Culture 21

Walking into the Ingleby’s large gallery II, the fi rst thing that

comes to your attention is how empty the room is. If you’re lucky, you will have read something about Ackling’s practice before you see his work. If not, then no one would blame you for as-suming this was a random assortment of wooden tools stacked up against a white wall. You might even dare to ask why they should interest you at all. It is only when you get up close and personal with these sculptures that you discover what makes them so unique.

Every wooden handle is covered in tiny neatly ordered lines that look as though they have been soldered onto the wood. � ese lines bring this random collection of objects together. However, these lines are very special. Ackling has painstakingly marked these objects using a magnifying glass and bright sunlight. He uses the con-centrated sunlight to burn alien look-ing marks onto everyday objects. � is process asks the viewer to consider our relationship with the sun itself. � e sun, 93 million miles away, provides us with heat, energy and food; without it we would never have existed. � is inti-mate bond is explored and questioned through this ritualistic mark making.

Ackling attempts to turn the ordi-nary into art. � e objects he chooses are useful tools that have the potential to change and create when used by

human hands. Instead, Ackling uses them for a pointless and repetitive purpose. � e juxtaposition of useful and aimless is central to understand-ing the work.

While the process is certainly fascinating, the exhibition itself lacks

energy. � e curation is unimpressive. For art so time consuming to be pre-sented without excitement is unfair to the artist.

One positive aspect is a wooden bird placed up high that soars above the trowels, boxes and spades. � is

piece is simply two small pieces of wood with a sooty outline of a fl ying bird burnt into it. It makes the viewer look up and consider that, like the story of Icarus, this bird could never fl y too close to the sun lest it be de-stroyed by its own creator.

Hilary Bell’s dark play Victim Sidekick Boyfriend Me might not have the

snappiest title but it certainly packs a punch. Lyceum Youth � eatre’s produc-tion is compelling and showcases the talent of a brilliant young cast. Before the main event, we are given an extra treat: some short plays written by the Traverse’s Scribble group. � is allows a glimpse at the promising young writing talent that is waiting in the wings.

� e premise of Bell’s play sounds fairly depressing. � e victim commits suicide and the girl who has bullied her allows her sidekick to serve a prison sen-tence in her place. � e victim’s boyfriend and Christian friends claim to forgive the girl, but the nicer they are, the worse the girl feels. It’s that old ‘kill your enemies with kindness’ tactic. As the play unrav-els, it becomes clear that it is dealing with issues we’re all familiar with: guilt, suf-fering, retribution, forgiveness. It tackles these big themes bravely.

A piece of scaff olding acts as the cen-tral set piece and it’s a clever touch to have the ‘victim’ stand upon this, overlooking the action and haunting the play with an angelic quality that is quite sinister. � is

is a show that deliberately distorts our as-sumptions, leaving us unsure about who is really the victim.

Madeleine Todd gives a bold and ut-terly convincing performance as the girl striving for atonement. If the play has one fl aw, it’s that the other characters, such as the boyfriend and the sidekick, feel a bit under-developed in comparison. � e Christian youth group, though, with

their spontaneous cheesy singing and hand-clapping, are delightfully funny and help to lighten the mood of the play.

� ere are some clever technical tricks here too. Scene changes are indicated by the loud bang of a cell door shutting. In one scene, the group go caving and the lights on their hats turn the spotlight on to the audience. � is is a play that refuses to allow the audience to fall asleep or to turn away from the fact that there’s a ‘me’ in the title.

It’s by no means a fl awless play but there’s so much talent here which more than compensates for the play's weaker moments. LYT prove that they are defi nitely ones to watch.

Rebecca Brown

ROYGBIVThis week's cultural spectrum.

Not so silly, BillyNot your average sunburn

This week: Stop meddling and look at pictures of Audrey Hepburn instead

Billy Connolly is now offi cially a polymath. Known for his great

Glaswegian infl ected comedy, his interesting road travelling documen-taries, and odd cameo appearances in fi lms, now he is exhibiting his art-work in London’s Halcyon Gallery.

Speaking to � e Guardian, he de-scribes the advent of Born on a Rainy Day as sketches drawn in Montreal fi ve years ago when it was too driz-zly to go outside. Now more polished and framed in the gallery, he explains why it took so long for these sketches to go on display:

“I didn’t want them to be judged, I don’t want anyone to not like them because they’re friends of mine.” How adorable. � is exhibition could probably run on Connolly’s self-con-sciousness alone.

But actually these drawings are really quite lovely. � ey look a little like more abstract, less detailed ver-sions of Brett Helquist’s illustrations. Maybe the pen and ink drawings only originate from an unstimulated imagination, but the details of these semi-abstract fi gures could keep you imagining and projecting for hours.

Connolly is showing off his skills in a new medium, but he’s also show-ing that doodles drawn with care and precision can become something clearly gallery-worthy. Images with this much detail swirl and jump around your line of sight, breathing an animated and constantly shifting life into his abstract fi gures. Even if all it took was a bit of boredom and some carefully delineated pen strokes, Connolly creates aestheti-cally intriguing art, despite not hav-ing a background in the discipline.

But crucially, is the real interest in the celebrity more than it is the art? What about Noel Fielding’s artwork, which now regularly exhibits in Lon-don, or indeed on the windows of Urban Outfi tters on Princes Street? It certainly has a unique style which also seems like the projection of an imagination onto its medium, but Fielding’s fans are intense to say the least. While people we would nor-mally describe as ‘art collectors’ may buy his work, I have a suspicion most of his sold works go to big fans of the Boosh.

I’m not really sure whether people enjoy the artwork of celebrities like Connolly for its own virtues or for an appreciation of the artists them-selves, but at least one good thing can come from the latter: those who aren’t as accustomed to going to gal-leries will go along to see a comedian’s work. Maybe this comedian can be a kind of gateway artist to a whole new world of culture. � e drawings are certainly addictive enough to act as such.

Michael Mackenzie

Look oot for...

THE ART DOCTOR with Anna Feintuck

VICTIM SIDEKICK BOYFRIEND ME

Traverse TheatreRun Ended

STAR RATING

Trowelly brilliant Tool good to be true A little bit rake-y Plant potty O� -fence-ive

Troy Holmes sees nothing more than a bunch of burnt tools at Roger Ackling's exhibition

Dear Art Doctor,

I don’t know whether I should tell my friend that she looks a mess. � e way she dresses is just all over the place and I don’t think she realises. I’d tell her if she had food in her teeth, so is it really any dif-ferent telling her to sort out her layering skills?

Quite simply, yes, it is very diff erent. You absolutely should not try to impose your narrow notions of style onto your poor friend. Having food stuck in your teeth is, to the best of my knowledge, almost universally accepted as being something that it is better to avoid. Layering, however messy it may seem to you, is not. Style is subjective and a visually diverse world is an infi nitely more pleasing one. Plenty of people

would tell you that it really doesn’t matter what your friend looks like at all and you should love her for who she is – and they’d be right, of course, albeit right in a rather self-satisfi ed way – but I’m happy to deal with this in terms of aesthetics.

So, I prescribe some serious studying of a bit of twentieth century portraiture. Look fi rst at Bryan Ad-am’s 2008 portrait of Dame Vivienne Westwood (it’s in the National Portrait Gallery in London, but you can fi nd it on their website). � is is eccentric lay-ering at its best. A bit of careful online searching will also quickly throw up plenty of images of her clad in various combinations of tartan, tweed and la-tex which I’m guessing you would class as “just all over the place”. Yet, the lady is a Dame of the British Empire for her

services to style. Just goes to show that not everyone thinks excessive layering is the sartorial equivalent of post-lunch tooth foliage.

If this idea still needs reinforcing, compare Cecil Beaton’s famous 1954 photograph of Audrey Hepburn in a black polo neck sweater with his por-trait of Jane Baxter, taken just a year earlier, in elaborate furs and ruffl es. Both are utterly beautiful images. � is juxtaposition of simplicity and excess should show you that totally diff erent stylistic viewpoints can exist side by side. Let your friend layer to her heart’s content. Diversity is strength, I say.

Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confi den-tially. And ever so seriously. Email us at [email protected].

“There's enough talent here which more than compensates for the play's weaker moments."

AN

NA

BLA

CHU

T

MintoFresh, a third year MAFA exhibition at Minto house, includes Art History themed games and fi lm screenings throughout the week. 'til 23 March.

Bedlam � eatre are putting on a production of Dracula running 'til 24 March. � is promises to show off vam-pires in a far less shiny and far more threatening light in this adaptation of Stoker's masterwork.

Ingleby Gallery'til 21 April

THE UTILITY SHED OF A FARMHOUSE: A collection of scorched tools line the walls of Ingleby


22 Film

Love � lm? Let us know! Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org � [email protected]

Contraband is another Hollywood remake of a successful foreign fi lm,

directed by Baltasar Kormákur, who starred in the original. However, given Reykjavik-Rotterdam’s obscurity outside Iceland and the extent to which Contra-band resembles any other stereotypical Hollywood action fi lm, it's unlikely that anyone will notice.

� e plot centres around Chris Far-raday (Mark Wahlberg), a retired smug-gler who is forced to go on one fi nal run when his teenage brother-in-law botches a job on a cargo ship and fi nds his life threatened by his dangerous boss, Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi). Farraday leaves his wife Kate (Kate Beckinsale) and two young sons under the care of his best friend Sebastian (Ben Foster) while he goes to Panama to smuggle back an enormous amount of counter-feit money in order to pay off Briggs. He assures them that nothing can possibly go wrong. Naturally, everything goes wrong.

� e job is extremely risky; what should have been relatively simple for an experienced smuggler turns into some-thing more closely resembling a heist. It's excessively contrived and relies on a

great deal of remarkably good fortune. Farraday’s journey puts him into confl ict with local crime bosses, police and cus-toms offi cials and, as the plot develops, we get an increasing sense of deja vu. However, the action sequences are good and not too frequent and, despite being predictable, it's usually entertaining.

� e other side of the fi lm works better and Contraband would have ben-efi ted from making the action a foil for the drama back in New Orleans rather than the other way around. Ribisi is the best thing about the fi lm, putting on a grimy, drawling voice and creating a vil-lain who is vicious and childish in equal measure – he deserves far more screen

time than he gets. � e twist that devel-ops in the second half further increases the intensity, bringing the harsh realities of smuggling to light. Debts have to be repaid, in money or blood, and everyone has debts.

Contraband doesn’t strive for any-thing other than mediocrity, but it's suc-cessful in spite of that. It's a grounded, story-driven action fi lm, which works as a piece of entertainment, even if it won’t live long in the memory.

Robert Dickie

Reviewed at Cineworld

Based on a true story, Agnieszka Holland’s fi lm In Darkness is a trib-

ute to the heroism of Leopold Socha and his eff orts to save a group of per-secuted Jews in Nazi occupied Poland during WWII. � e fi lm mostly takes place in the rank, mouse-infested sew-ers of Lvov. Jolanta Dylewska’s brilliant camerawork captures the unnerving claustrophobia of the sewers so well, audiences may feel the need to walk out of the darkened cinema for a while just to remind themselves what bright, open space feels like.

In Darkness is not the fi rst fi lm to depict the nightmares of the Holocaust. However, Holland bucks the stereo-typical presentation of the glorifi ed hero and innocent victims by presenting a brutally honest, warts and all portrait of the characters. � e protagonist is not your typical beacon-of-light-in-a-time-of-darkness hero, at least not at fi rst. In fact, Socha’s (Robert Wieckiewicz) heroism starts out as an opportunistic business arrangement that capitalises on the suff ering of the Jews as he arranges to take them through the sewers for money everyday. However, Wieckiewicz wins hearts with his superb portrayal of

the transition of Socha from a cynical, hardened man to the hero who risks everything to save the lives of a group of people he was taught to hate.

Holland’s Jewish protagonists are no saints either. From a drug addict to a man who chooses to save his mistress over his wife and young daughter, it can be diffi cult for the audience to sym-pathise with them- especially with the incessant bickering amongst them while war wages overhead. Nonetheless, the portrayal of the darker facets of human nature serves to illuminate our redeem-ing qualities and, despite everything, Socha resolutely pushes on.

Although the fi lm can be a little tedious at times with the lack of light-ing, it gives us an idea of the hardships the Jews faced while living in darkness for fourteen months. With its candid portrayal of the characters, In Darkness is a beautiful celebration of the triumph of the human spirit despite our capacity for cruelty.

Andrea Yew


IN DARKNESSDIRECTED BY AGNIESZKA HOLLAND

Looking at the political upheaval of the Arab Spring and the Occupy

movement’s cries for government action, 2011 was a year defi ned by political activ-ism. Time magazine even named ‘� e Protester’ as their Person of the Year. Perhaps it’s just being surrounded by the student activist environment, but it looks as if 2012 could have a similarly political feel. � is year also has the US presiden-tial primaries and election, which have proved both fascinating and fantastic. Films have always documented political events and careers, yet it's interesting to see fi lms that not only interpret and comment on politics, but also show the ability to infl uence activism and capture a political mood.

Perhaps most famously, the fi lm ad-aptation of Alan Moore’s V for Vendetta has recently been a defi ning feature of not just the Occupy movement, but ac-tivism in general. Most noticeably, the activist group Anonymous adopted the iconic V mask. Last year, the white face and knowing smile of Guy Fawkes could be seen across occupations and protests all over the world. Moore’s creation has become a symbol for political change and opposing oppression. � e character of V in the 2005 fi lm brought a theatri-cal element to rebellion, infamously blowing up the Houses of Parliament to Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” and quoting Shakespeare left, right and cen-tre, though the political world of the fi lm is far less diverse than reality. In the fas-cistic and Orwellian world he lives in, V is able to treat protest as a performance. In many ways, he is an enthralling fi gure, a dramatic example to follow when op-posing your choice of injustice, except

for the arson, treason and super slow motion fi ght scenes. Of course, that’s down to individual discretion. However, whilst the protestor can see his or herself as analogous to V, it's perhaps a bit unfair to compare western governments to the brutal, ever-watching and soul-destroy-ing regime of Moore’s world.

A less visually explosive form of political comment is present in George Clooney’s insight into political corrup-tion, � e Ides of March. Set in 2008, in

line with the actual presidential pri-maries, the fi lm portrays two fi ctional candidates and their teams trying to win the state of Ohio. What Clooney shows is the protagonist’s (Ryan Gosling) descent into corruption. In a way, � e Ides of March demonstrates a form of activism, albeit a slightly melodramatic one, showing a realistic portrayal of the dark side of politics. � e peddling of false information and slander is all too familiar. Gosling is the supposedly in-

nocent campaign manager who is faced with some diffi cult choices that have the potential to serve his own political ends. When considering a rumour about the opposing candidate he says, “I don’t care if it’s true; I just want to hear him deny-ing it. If it’s true then great, but if not, let them spend the day telling � e Post that he doesn’t own a diamond mine in Libe-ria. Win-win.” Instead of V’s energetic radicalism, Clooney’s intensely realistic insight into the backstage of political

performance at election time is revealing and infl uential.

Political issues are prevalent through-out the history of cinema and usually the issues in fi lms go hand-in-hand, for bet-ter or worse, with the political affi liations of actors, writers and directors. On 16 March, George Clooney was arrested at a protest outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington DC, showing dedication to the political cause. � e protesters claim the Sudanese government are responsible for attacks that have killed civilians and provoked a humanitarian crisis. As such infl uential fi gures, it's important that Hollywood stars and the fi lms they pro-duce have some eff ect. Admittedly many of their assertions come across as empty rhetoric, but, on the other hand, it's not just anyone that can get Obama on the phone whenever they want, as Clooney managed the day before the protest.

However, a classic case of empty rhet-oric is Angelina Jolie’s recent condem-nation of Joseph Kony. � e Kony 2012 campaign has been initiated by a fi lm, which shows the relevance of the medium in putting across political messages. Per-haps sensationalising and caricaturing an actual person into a Hollywood villain is perhaps not the most appropriate way of making what should be an informative video. Nevertheless, Jolie has hopped on board saying she “hates Kony”, which is brilliant, even if it remains a little un-clear as to when such an endorsement of a campaign will change attitudes. It’s hard to imagine a person considering the facts, remaining undecided, then hearing a fi lm star’s remark and thinking, “Well if Angelina’s against him then that’s done it for me. Where do I sign?”

P3.N

O

JOA

NN

A L

ISO

WIE

C

CU

RREN

T

Occupy the cinema!Dan Scott Lintott looks at the close connection between political activism and cinema

“In Darkness is a beautiful celebration of the triumph of the human spirit."

CONTRABANDDIRECTED BY BALTASAR KORMÁKAR

ARRESTED: George Clooney will not mind the extra publicity his arrest brings to the cause.

ON EDGE: Giovanni Ribisi provides most of Contraband's menace.Contraband's menace.Contraband

Tuesday March 20 2012 Love � lm? Let us know! Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper � [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

Film 23

Because � e Devil Inside got a late release in the UK, there are plenty

of reviews out already. And few have a positive word in them. As such, it seems worth going on a minor tan-gent toward the analytical. Film, as a medium, takes evolutionary steps over time. � e advent of sound and the rise of special eff ects are two big ones. So, too, do genres. New works nod to old and novel ideas are put forward on the foundations of tried-and-true concepts.

While their history spans at least a few decades, it seems that an abridged revitalisation of possession and exor-cism fl icks began with � e Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005). Haunting in Connecticut (2009) and � e Rite (2011) followed. Each set up new assumptions for the next, taking the appearance of an ongoing conversa-tion about the exorcism phenomenon

through this art form.Horror, as a large family of fi lms,

attracts a lot of fl ack because of this ongoing conversation. � e Devil In-side did not escape such judgement. It is set up as the 'behind the scenes' of a documentary about a daughter grappling with a possessed mother and attempting to understand exor-cism. Along for this ride, set largely in the shadow of Vatican City, are two rebel exorcists and a documentarian.

Low scores all around have been pegged on uninventiveness, short length and the inevitable whining about ‘found footage’ and documen-tary-style fi lmography. But here’s the thing, � e Devil Inside was made for about $1m. It is paced well. It pro-vides lip service to interesting ‘church bureaucracy versus good intentions’ arguments and whether or not pos-session and mental illness are one and the same. It even plays with the idea of 'demonic transference' - think contagious possession.

All of this needs to be said because most other reviewers felt the need to talk about how slow the credits scrolled or how a contortionist’s per-formance was the best part. Now that is uninventive. Skip it in cinemas, but if exorcisms give you the willies then catch it eventually. At least it isn’t Paranormal Activity 4.

Zack O'Leary


A ll they do now is recycle shit from the past and expect nobody to

notice.” Insightful words, but are they in reference to the heroes’ undercover police assignment or a sly dig at the fi lm’s own genre? 21 Jump Street, light and mindless, is a formula for hilarity, combining the apparently endlessly recyclable components of cop movie + high school movie + adorable bro-mance.

Two high school enemies, loser ( Jonah Hill) and jock (Channing Tatum), later become friends while undergoing police training. � ey are sent undercover at a high school to infi ltrate a drug ring, but it turns out school has changed since their day- diff erent cliques have sprung up and the cool kids are tolerant, happy and environmentally friendly (as Tatum’s character comments: “It’s because of Glee. Damn you, Glee.”). In a half-baked mix up, their identities are swapped; it’s a chance for the nerd to fi nally be cool and the jock to learn how to make stuff explode with the science geeks. � ey get up to various high school high jinks: drug abuse, house parties and fl irtation with pu-pils (over 18 years, just). � ey also do cop stuff like speeding away from ex-plosions and gun toting. But it’s not a

kill the bad guy, kiss the honey, be epic kind of movie. � ere’s plenty of gentle screen time dedicated to whether their friendship can stand being put back in a high school setting and whether they will ever manage to be the badass cops they dream they are.

Decent acting and a healthy dose of satire sustain the completely recycled story. � e fi lm is shrewdly aware of the niche it is playing to. At times, it subverts audience expectations- the motorbike crashing into the petro-leum tanker doesn’t blow up, but the chickens do. At other times it rides the cliches happily- Ice Cube plays walking stereotype Captain Dickson, heard saying, “I am a black cop, and sometimes I get angry.”

� ough off ensively repetitive with the gay gags, though guilty of pushing jokes too hard quite regularly, 21 Jump Street is probably better than the aver-age of its genre. It’s worth checking out if a high school cop bromance sounds like a winning formula to you.

Melissa Amy Geere


When watching Cameron Crowe’s new fi lm We Bought a Zoo, there

are several perplexing questions that are impossible to dispel from one’s mind. Firstly, is We Bought a Zoo the worst fi lm title in history? Secondly, are there any actors in the world who would make for a less convincing zookeeper than Scarlett Johansson? And most crucially: how on earth did Crowe - a man who was once

a rock music journalist and the purveyor of edgy fi lms like Almost Famous - end up directing this excruciatingly sentimental fi lm?

Based on a true story, We Bought a Zoo tells the tale of widower Benjamin Mees, (Matt Damon) who in search of a fresh start for himself and his two children takes the rather unconventional parent-ing choice of purchasing a zoo. � e zoo in question is rundown and struggling fi nancially and therefore it is up to Ben-jamin and the zoo’s small but eccentric staff to work together to save the place from permanent closure.

Starting on a positive note, the fi lm has a decent cast who deliver some good

performances. Damon is extremely likeable in the lead role and manages to deliver even the most nauseating of lines in a sincere manner. Furthermore, minor characters such as estate agent Mr Ste-vens ( J.B Smoove) add a welcome dose of humour to the fi lm.

� e fi lm is destroyed, however, by an overwhelming amount of schmaltz that permeates the entire fi lm and will leave even the most sweet natured of view-ers feeling exasperated. One of the key sources of this sentimentality is the fi lm’s contrived script, which is fi lled with Hol-lywood cliches about ‘the power of love’ and ‘fi nding yourself ’. Furthermore, Crowe shamelessly tries to manipulate

our emotions by fi lling his fi lm with a re-lentless and rather distracting soundtrack of soaring, emotive music probably in the hope that this over-the-top score will distract us from the fact that the fi lm itself is predictable and emotionally unconvincing.

In conclusion, the once impressive Crowe has succeeded here in creating the cinematic equivalent of candy fl oss: a piece of insubstantial, excessively sweet fl uff which will leave you feeling more than a little bit nauseous.

Sally Pugh


Classic Cult

STAR RATINGGood Will Hunting The Departed DogmaHereafterThe Brothers Grimm

“Skip it in cinemas, but if exorcisms give you the willies then catch it eventually. At least it isn't Paranormal Activity 4."

Fashion and fi lm have a history that goes beyond costume and set design. � e two arts have infl uenced each other constantly through the decades, producing rich stories full of visual delight. Fashion is, of course, a popu-lar mode of escapism, shown through outrageous and fl amboyant comedies such as Zoolander (2001).However, it is in documentaries that the fashion world is at its most transparent, mak-ing for compulsive viewing. Due to its paradox – incessant hard work and fantastical excess – it is forever a site of mesmerising wonder.

Since its inception, Vogue has managed to captivate its readers through stunning editorials and sheer aspiration. It has also been subject to scrutiny, at the centre of which is the infamous editor in chief, Anna Win-tour. � e protagonist of � e September Issue (2009), Wintour is relentless, strong, a perfectionist. Seen working alongside creative director Grace Cod-dington after a partnership of 20 years, the fi lm shows the two women at the top of the fashion game, representing business and art - the fusion of which results in its glossy pages. It is fascinat-ing to watch such steely passion and expertise, while the input from fashion celebs such as Andre Leon Talley is amusing.

Bill Cunningham New York (2010) contrasts with � e September Issue in that, whilst painting a portrait of a big fashion name, it deals primarily with street fashion and what it means to be a photographer in the industry. Bill Cunningham is the sweetest man you can imagine: utterly devoted to his art, he scours the streets of Manhattan daily, hoping to snap the latest foot-wear trend or the craziest hat. Not such a willing insider, Cunningham leads a somewhat lonely life. His private life lies at the corners of the documentary, with style icons such as Iris Apfel won-dering where Bill goes at the end of the night. Nonetheless, he is clearly most at home with his camera in hand, on his trusty bicycle. Now in his eighties, it is incredible to see someone with such love for their craft and the fi lm proves that there is more to fashion than the young, the shallow and the wealthy.

Isaac Mizrahi is the focus of lighthearted documentary, Unzipped (1995). Filmed at the peak of the ‘Su-permodel’ era, it features appearances from Naomi Campbell, a fresh-faced Kate Moss and others. � ey are all keen to wax lyrical on Mizrahi’s talent, as we observe him preparing to showcase a new collection. It is a sneaky glimpse into the world of the model, one that so many of us - for whatever reason - fi nd alluring. � e beautiful people wearing beautiful clothes (in mid-90s terms, at least) are an enjoyable sight and you truly come to appreciate the work that goes into such shows.

� ere are many other documen-taries that profi le prolifi c designers, mapping their infl uences and work patterns; two that stand out are Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton (2007) and Notebook on Cities and Clothes (1989). � e former is a detailed examination of how Jacobs managed to transform the Parisian fashion house whilst simultaneously breaking new ground with his own label, now a fi rm fashion favourite. Yohji Yamamoto, the avant-garde Japanese designer, is the subject of Notebook, a fascinating exploration of the relationship between geography, culture, clothes and how people culti-vate a sense of style in an ever-digitalis-ing world.

Kirsty Wareing

21 JUMP STREETDIRECTED BY PHIL LORD AND CHRIS

MILLER

FILM

.CO

M

WE BOUGHT A ZOO DIRECTED BY CAMERON CROWE

THE DEVIL INSIDEDIRECTED BY WILLIAM BRENT BELL

“The � lm is shrewdly aware of the niche it is playing to, [yet] at times it subverts audience expectations..."

WE'RE NOT GOING TO THE ZOO: How about you?

Tuesday March 20 2012 Follow us on twitter @EdStudentMusic or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

You can say what you like about Teviot Underground, when it’s

rammed full of drunk people it has a really great atmosphere. � is year’s Untapped Talent ‘Battle of the Bands’ featured fi ve acts, a lot of balloons, an act of camaraderie involving a broken string and a man in a muscle shirt dancing at the front on his own for the duration. So a good night then. Well, if we ignore the weird dancing chap anyway.

A run down of the bands is in order. So, from the top, we’ll start with In Mirrors. Apparently a relatively new band, their sound relied heavily on a few strains of early 90s radio rock: Chris Cornell-esque vocals, technical-ly impressive shreddy lead guitar and lyrics that didn’t seem to mean much of anything. � e singer and guitarists were remarkably tight, but the group’s youth showed in the lack of a clear beat from the rhythm section. Still, when In Mirrors got going, there was some-thing compelling about them. � ey’ve got a real sense of purpose, even just a few gigs in.

Daisy Chain Gang win the compe-tition for best name and play infectious grungy ska. Lead singer, Dan Taylor has a ton of charisma and is a great rhythm guitar player. He was ably supported by the band’s equally talented drummer

(whose name I can’t fi nd because the band don’t have a website yet), but the set was marred by some serious tone is-sues with the lead guitar and a lack of cohesion on the slower numbers. Still, as with In Mirrors, these are issues of young bands and will fade away as they play more shows.

� ings got considerably slicker and funkier with Soma, a six-piece boasting a two-man horn section. � e band are all excellent musicians, the trombone and bass players in particular. � ey contributed tasteful soloing to a set that smoked, but relied a touch too much on recreating a sound rather than building a unique voice.

� e Internauts have been play-ing Untapped Talent gigs for a few years at this point and it shows. � eir showmanship was excellent: balloons launched into the crowd, a well-cho-sen XX cover, a signed ( Justin Bieber) poster for the most engaged member of the crowd (weird dancing guy, inci-dentally) and the look of a band having a ball. Well, except lead singer James Low, who looked like he was suff ering from a mild case of the bubonic plague. Singing through a cold is an uncon-querable nightmare and he acquitted himself admirably, for that alone I’d have given them the top prize.

To close out the night, Satellites played a tight, but slightly forgettable set. � eir songs are well-crafted radio-rock and their playing is genuinely enjoyable, but (other than the average age of the band’s members being some-thing like ten years older than that of the other four bands playing), nothing in their set stood out as a reason to get excited. Still, they came second so that could well just be my personal taste or lack thereof.

In Mirrors won the judges vote and will be getting some studio time to record a song or two and a slot on the Fresh Air playlist for said song(s). Any one of the bands that played would have totally deserved this. Like I said, it was a good night.

Will Kemp watches Untapped Talent's music showdown, 'Ba� le of � e Bands', at a packed out Teviot Underground

University of Rock

“The Internauts have been playing Untapped Talent gigs for a few years at this point and it shows."

Teviot Underground15 March

BATTLE OF THE BANDS

Singles M.I.ABad Girls

INTERSCOPE

Finally getting its big label world-wide release after months, bang-

ing on my radio, “Bad Girls” is a slick, layered aff air. By now you’re probably familiar with the chorus’ refrain – “Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well” – and if you’re not, I urge you to go and listen to it right now. From an artist as self-conscious and politically aware as M.I.A. (the heavily commented upon video features niqab-wearing women toting guns and pulling off excessively cool hip-hop routines by bashed up cars in a desert), it seems clear that obvious, clichéd references such as this are done with a heavy dollop of irony. � e whole thing feels like a knowing assault on the charts – and who are we to resist when it sounds this good?

Anna Feintuck

THE MACCABEESFeel To Follow

FICTION

WATCH THE THRONE

N****s in ParisDEF JAM

When Watch � e � rone, the huge col-laborative album from Kanye West

and Jay-Z, dropped in August 2011, this club behemoth emerged as the album’s central talking point. Once you get past Jay’s outrageous celebration of his one-percentness and Ye’s childish hyped-up drawl, this track is ridiculously enjoyable with its crystal-clear synths, infectious fl ows and noise-and-choir breakdown (!). It has the sort of instrumental any pro-ducer would dream of making and a lyrical arrogance to it that most rappers couldn’t even imagine being able to put down while retaining a sense of self-awareness (“doc-tors say I’m the illest cos I suff er from real-ness”). While Watch � e � rone had very questionable moments "N****s in Paris" works well out of that context as some sort of Intergalactic Ballers’ Anthem.

Emmett Cruddas

Considering their fi ve star live review last week, I expected great things

from � e Maccabees. � e vocals are a little disappointing, verging on de-pressing with the harmonies and back-ing track in tow. As with most of � e Maccabees material, you have to be in the right mood to be able to appreciate it. It brightens at the chorus, but not much and only to a slightly faster tempo with the addition of a guitar riff . � ere’s something still raw about the track with the simplicity of the lyrics and chords, the title ‘Feel to Follow’ and a paced drum beat building up the bulk to present its climax. � eir angle is there – heartbreak, what else? But there’s also a time and a place for such tracks. ‘Feel to Follow’ is just a little lacking in inspiration and, ironically, feeling. Katie Walker

UNLUCKY: � e Internaut boys blame it on the girl

G� NT HOUSE BIG NIGHT IN: Soma entertain in Pollock Halls


Music 25

Follow us on twitter @EdStudentMusic or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

STAR RATINGWatch the Throne M.I.A. Noel GallagherPaul WellerDog is Dead

ANDREW BIRDBreak it Yourself

BELLA UNION

Albums

AlbumsPAUL WELLER

That Dangerous AgeISLAND RECORDS

NOEL GALLAGHER'S HIGH FLYING BIRDS

Dream OnSOUR MASH

BLOOD RED SHOESCold

V2 / COOP

How to create your very own ver-sion of “� at Dangerous Age”:

Take one David Bowie tribute act and combine with the accent of Damon Al-barn circa 1991. Next, extract a “shoop” or two from “� e Shoop Shoop Song” and sprinkle into the mixture, con-tinuing to stir well. � en, add a few drops of the sweat of your favourite crooner (e.g. Tony Bennett, Daniel O’ Donnell, etc.) and fl avour with mo-notony to taste. Finally, consult your nearest rhyming dictionary, tear out three pages of your choice and throw into the bowl. Using a colander, drain every ounce of mod from the mixture. Finally, coat in overproduction and cook in the oven for approximately one minute. Tip: best served lukewarm to the hard-of-hearing.

Devon Bianchi

What hits you as you click play on Blood Red Shoes’s new single

“Cold” are the arresting drums. � is track is even bigger and louder than previous singles. � e verse consists of a stark, un-apologetic guitar riff mirrored by Laura-Mary Carter’s vocals. Drummer Steven Ansell soon adds his voice to the fray in the swinging pre-chorus, which slightly delays the pace before the duo break out into an amplifi ed, anthemic chorus we could only expect of them. Carter has de-scribed the upcoming album In Time to Voices as “ambitious” and this lead single certainly is; the harmonies wrestle with each other rather than careering easily ahead as in previous singles. � is single proves the band are developing but have not lost the gritty Blood Red Shoes sound we know and love.

Rachel Wilson

Listening to Oasis post-split, it’s obvious the band has always had

two sounds - of course, this depended on which Gallagher brother was singing lead vocals. Noel Gallagher’s “High Fly-ing Birds” accentuates this, as the latest release from their debut album Dream On is reminiscent of tracks from the 2005 Oasis album Don’t Believe � e Truth, which were sung by the elder Gallagher. Although “Dream On” isn’t a track that will revolutionise the music industry, it's nonetheless pleasing to the ear as a result of Gallagher’s distinctive and mellow vo-cals, catchy choruses which are calling out to be sung along to and enough rhythm to hold interest, all combined in a simple structure with classic Beatles-esque in-strumentation. Take the song for what it is and you’ll defi nitely enjoy it. Rebecca O'Doherty

SOULFLYEnslaved

ROADRUNNER

Soulfl y are always going to be more famous for being Max Cavalera’s

(formerly Sepultura) band than for anything they’ve released musically. However, that doesn’t mean that what they have released since they were formed in 1997 has been bad, far from it, it’s just hard to compete with the history that comes from Max’s involve-ment in one of the greatest heavy metal bands of all time. New album Enslaved is their latest attempt to do so and sees

the introduction of new bassist Tony Campos and new drummer David Kinkade along with a host of guest ap-pearances from the likes of Dez Fafara (Coal Chamber and Devildriver) and three of Max’s children.

� e fi rst thing to note about this al-bum is that it's noticeably heavier than anything else Soulfl y have released. It comes out of the box screaming and doesn’t let up for any of its 11 tracks. As usual with the Cavaleras, there are traces of their Brazilian roots in there with the use of the fl amenco style acoustic guitar, which adds an extra element to songs like “Plata O Plomo”. While Travis Ryan’s (Cattle Decapita-tion) guest spot on “World Scum” sees Soulfl y going in a death metal direc-tion that momentarily gets close to the Sepultura sound of the 1980s. Finally,

album closer “Revengence”, a sprawl-ing tribute to Max’s son who died in a car crash in 1996, includes a number of numerous time changes and the talents of the rest of Max's children.

Soulfl y have managed yet again to release a strong album. While Max’s lyrics are never going to be considered genius, he still has the knack of creat-ing moments that will be screamed along with the fans. So, while the worn out subject area - it’s mainly about slav-ery that he has written about - doesn’t lead to anything truly exciting, the al-bum manages to get above that by the strength of the music. � is is a skull- crushing assault on the senses that incorporates everything from death metal to thrash to traditional Brazilian music.

Stuart Iversen

In the summer of 2009, I headed over to Edgefi eld to see � e Decem-

berists perform their concept album � e Hazards of Love. I expected a great show, but what I did not expect was to see Andrew Bird in his follow up tour for his eighth studio album Noble Beast.

Since then, my admiration for Bird’s musical talents has grown. � e mixture of instruments, musical styles, whistles and rhythms throughout his work is impressive, as are his skills as a lyrist. In his ninth studio album Break it Yourself, Bird continues to provide the listener with complex melodies, soft vocals and poetic, metaphorical lyrics.

� is fourteen-track album captures many themes, including the innocence of youth, the pain of love lost, con-templations on the complexity of life and the reoccurring theme of doubt. Doubt in oneself, doubt in love, doubt in the existence of any higher being. In addition to the lyrical meaning behind the eleven tracks, three tracks being instrumental, the album also captures several styles of music which demon-strate Bird’s ability to synthesise diff er-ent instruments and melodies to write diverse songs. � e styles shift from bluegrass, folk, jazzy rock, psychedelic rock and places in between that make for a well-rounded album that will lead you to tap your toe, bob your head and occasionally want to jump out of your seat and dance a step or two to the

violin beat.While the album as a whole de-

serves at least an eight out of ten, there are gems that stand out. "Lusitania", a duet with Annie Clark, which uses nau-tical metaphors centred on heartbreak, is slow and emotional and relates to a failed romance. "Lazy Projector" starts with nearly indistinguishable lyrics ac-companied with some slow violin that

gradually changes to a slow acoustic number. � e lyrics question the fl ow of time and unfortunate events, ponder-ing the decisions of the "Lazy Projec-tor".

All in all, this is a great album that meets the standard that Bird’s previ-ous work has established.

Derek Olsen

With summer ever-looming and festival line-ups fl ooding the

airwaves, we thought what better way to keep you in the loop than a weekly festival guide vis-à-vis Europe’s hot-spots. Starting off with the destina-tion of Spain, here’s a taster of what to expect from the slightly alternative weekend city breaks of Primavera and Sonar to the sun, sweat, sea and sand of Benicassim.

If jet-setting off immediately after the exam diet is high on your priori-ties of things to do, Primavera Sound located in the heart of Barcelona’s Parc del Fòrum might be the one for you. Spread over a sizeable fi ve days, from Wednesday 30th May to Sunday 5th June, you can expect to see the likes of: Beirut, Bjork, � e Cure, Franz Ferdi-nand, Scuba, Washed Out and Justice, all within reaching distance of a work-able toilet and the comfort of the city’s accommodation.

Priding itself as Spain’s foremost purveyor of all things ‘Advanced Music & Multimedia Art’ related, the festival takes place over three days in June, from 14th-16th, split into day and night events sprawled across Barcelona’s trendy El Raval district and beyond. Music comes in various electronic forms, with some of the most infl uen-tial and up-to-date names, including: Deadmau5, Nicholas Jarr, Hot Chip, Richie Hawtin, Squarepusher, Maya Jane Coles, Jacques Lu Cont and John Talbot.

Out of the city, and onto the beach-front from July 12th-15th is the British music takeover of sorts with � e Stone Roses, New Order, Florence and � e Machine, Noel Gallagher’s High Fly-ing Birds, Dizzee Rascal and Example, a refl ection perhaps of the holidaymak-ers in mind. With camping available too, get ready to sleep through the hot summer day as acts are set to perform through the early evening and into the late hours.

PRIMAVERA SOUND

30 May - 3 June£158

Festival guide 2012part one: Spain

SONAR14 June - 16 June

£129

BENICASSIM

12 July - 15 July£155

“Acts are set to perform through the early evening and into the late hours"

ERIC

PA

MIE

S

SEXY MAN: Andrew Bird is probably fi ne with being objectifi ed

PROBABLY FAKE: � e eyelashes, that is

CITY OF DREAMS: and sun, sea, sand and songs


Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper studentnewspaper.org [email protected]

Nigella is corseted, plucked and preened to oblivion. Jamie is

artfully ruffl ed. Heck, even Gordon’s had Botox. Most food television is completely reliant on aspiration and impossible perfection – a lifestyle wank, if you will. � is is all well and good, but with it comes the risk of self-loathing when the peak of your culinary week is scrambled eggs and toast in coff ee-stained pyjamas. � ank goodness, then, for the Hairy Bikers and their willingness to strip down to their stripy pants.

� e bikers’ latest show, Bakeation, sees Si and Dave zooming around foreign climes being completely aff able and inoff ensive. “We’re not just doing baking, are we?” asks Dave at one point. “No, no,” says Si. “We’re doing all sorts of loveliness.” � at’s about right. � is is somewhere between Long Way Round and River Cottage. No Ewan McGregor, more’s the pity, but the travel footage is certainly the visual high point of the show. In the fi rst episode, the bikers head to Norway.

Cue languorous footage of � ords and waterfalls and the lovely Atlantic Road. A mere fi ve second shot of the latter was enough to incite wanderlust in this dissertation-battered fourth year.

Given that this quite obviously isn’t aiming for perfection, it doesn’t come as a surprise that there are irritating moments. Si, for example, uses “dude” like normal people use commas. � e self-referential elements – “Where did you come from?!” when they’re on a boat and a crew member conveniently appears with an oven – are rather trite. At times, there’s a whiff of excessive striving for normality and accessibility. � at said, though, there’s a chaotic charm to the show that makes it hard to criticise.

And, of course, Bakeation should have a special appeal to Edinburgh University students. Approximately two-thirds of us spend too much money in Peter’s Yard on a regular basis. Cardamom buns, lemon biscuits and rye bread have become an essential part of the George Square diet. Episode one features recipes for everything in that Scandinavian culinary triad. Watch it, bake, save money – and you might even get to experience Nigella levels of smugness.

Anna Feintuck

The title of ITV’s new prime-time drama is, in case you didn’t

notice, a witty play on words. The double meaning it oh-so-humor-ously toys with is that of the char-acter’s ‘love life’ – as in, romantic en-tanglements – and that of genuinely loving life. If you are impressed with this kind of subtlety then this show might very well be for you.

The story follows the return of an aging man-child (Rob James-Col-lier) to his home town after a year abroad spent travelling. We learn that before he left he was involved in a long-term relationship with a woman called Lucy (Andrea Lowe), who in his absence managed to get pregnant by her boss (Alexander Armstrong) and is now struggling

to maintain composure while keep-ing the identity of the father a secret from those around her. Will man-child Joe manage to grow up and stay put long enough to sort out the sticky situation and win back his sweetheart? And will Lucy’s boss Dominic own up to his responsi-bilities as father, come clean to his wife and contribute to the baby’s upbringing? Who knows; indeed, who cares.

The script, penned by writer Bill Gallagher (Lark Rise to Candleford, The Prisoner), is clunky and excruci-ating. Nothing is left to the viewer’s imagination in terms of emotion or subtleties of feeling. Characters constantly feel the need to spell out exactly what they are think-ing and how they are reacting to something, just so the viewer knows exactly where they stand in relation to events. “Well, this is all very well, but how is this person feeling?” we wonder. “I’m just so upset,” they exclaim, helpfully clearing things up immediately.

To add to this, the acting is al-most uniformly poor. Both Joe and Lucy sound like they are reading the script for the very first time off an auto-cue, with appropriately delayed reactions and mechanical, unconvincing emotion. Even the appearance of Scottish comedy and television veteran Gregor Fisher (a.k.a Rab C Nesbitt) can't save pro-ceedings and his performance seems somewhat laboured.

The characters themselves are

entirely unlikeable and seldom sym-pathetic. Joe’s tendency to run away from commitment is such a glaringly obvious male cliché, he might as well have been depicted in a stained white vest, drinking beer and shout-ing at Lucy to make the bloody dinner already. His gap year stories and constant desire to ‘find himself ’, meanwhile, rapidly become tedious. When he offers to show his pictures of Everest to his friend’s young son and the boy simply answers “no”, we are presented with one of the few genuinely enjoyable scenes of the whole episode.

The presence of Armstrong as Lucy’s boss is nothing less than completely baffling. In fact, there are only two ways to account for it:

either he is being paid a criminally huge amount to make the most of Gallagher’s adolescent script or something decidedly more sinister is going on. Perhaps they are hold-ing his family hostage? Either way, the police should get involved just to play it safe.

Love Life occasionally shows glimpses of something approaching poignancy, especially in the scenes involving boss Dominic's wife Pen-ny. However, before these moments are left to develop in any interesting manner, they are promptly stifled by startling ineptitude. It’s not so much television-by-numbers as televi-sion-by-blunders; best avoided and perhaps even better destroyed.

BBC2 Tuesdays, 8pm

THE HAIRY BIKERS: BAKEATION

It’s easy to forget that before Carrie Matheson and Sarah Lund came,

Mary Portas, the public’s monarch, protected our gloomy high streets from injustice and ruin. She set a tone that was about the woman, rather than the girl or the mannequin, and she needed neither a dragon, a den nor a tattoo, to achieve a resonant voice. Here, she returns to breathe life into Britain’s wilting manufacturing industry. With 90 per cent of our clothes now made outside the UK, 50 per cent of textile manufacturing jobs lost since 2000 and a culture emerging whereby one spends longer buying a coff ee than a dress because the latter is cheaper, this is a noble cause, and one that transports Portas from the shiny shop fl oor to somewhat grimier climes.

For a programme so adamantly about Britain, her tendency to slip into American idioms, “� e fi rst thing you put on in the morning covers your ass”, is confusing. It is perhaps an attempt to appropriate the all American voiceover to accompany the dramatic opening montage. Tears, fears and superfl uous shots of model’s behinds – this is a

British dilemma solved by a Hollywood team. Yet the subject remains knickers, not panties, and Portas's high street in-terrogations, whereby she peers down victim’s trousers outside, tugging at the incriminating labels as if they were head lice, brings her mission back to its rightful place; somewhere between M&S and Tesco Metro. � is is where it belongs and this is what makes inter-esting television.

When Portas heads to the Paris Lin-gerie Fashion Fair wearing a metallic ensemble that appears to work as some ingenious nudity amplifi er, interest wanes and no amount of incongruous dubstep can resolve this. � ings pick up, however, when we arrive in Roch-dale, where the three hundred hopeful candidates for Portas’s eight available traineeships prove far more engaging than the Parisian fashion moguls and their fl eshy wares. � e cheeky chappy soundbites and tearful lamentations from the hopefuls follow an X-factor template, but in this instance, there isn’t that ominous sense of Simon Cowell waiting around the corner with an OK! contract and some teeth whitener. Por-tas, for all her LA rhetoric, does appear to have these candidate’s best interests at heart and for that, you want her knickers to fi t.

Imogen Lloyd

Where is the love?Alistair Grant feels nothing but hatred and disappointment towards ITV1's new prime-time drama

ITV

Channel 4Thursdays, 9pm

MARY'S BOTTOM LINE

ITV1 Thursdays, 9pm

LOVE LIFE

YOU

TUBE

Original, beautifully made, truly cinematic dramas are a rarity on

British television. � ere was a time when the UK ruled the roost when it came to producing high-quality en-tertainment for the small screen, but these days such fare is more likely to grace our screens courtesy of our cous-ins from across the Atlantic. But every so often, something comes along and takes this well-worn, cynical cliché and throws it gracefully out the win-dow, proving that even the most reli-able generalisations are easily (and, indeed, thankfully) dismissed from time to time.

� e Red Riding Trilogy was such a production. Based on the novels by David Peace, the trilogy was a dark, troubled journey into police corruption and mysterious serial killings- includ-ing, controversially, the Yorkshire Ripper case. Each instalment focused on a diff erent period from which each episode would take its name, beginning with 1974 and ending in 1983.

Fact is blurred with fi ction through-out, any viewers seeking concrete resolu-tions and defi nite answers are bound to be frustrated. Many critics complained that the drama fell into the same trap as Peace’s novels, becoming bogged down in a marsh of inexplicable obscurity and bogus, ultimately misleading ‘factual’ accuracy. However, this seems to miss the point: Red Riding captures the com-plex intricacies of life with no intention of neatly rounding things up into any viewer-friendly conclusions. Murder and corruption are murky phenomena, and they require a suitably murky drama to adequately deal with them.

With each episode shot by a diff erent director and a starry cast consisting of Andrew Garfi eld, Sean Bean and Peter Mullan to name but a few, the trilogy is consistently stunning throughout. West Yorkshire might be presented as endlessly dreary and grim, but it is also strangely beautiful. Moody, oppres-sive clouds press in on doomed council estates, while below people murmer and conspire in drab, smoke-cocooned rooms. It’s the epitome of noir.

If you’re from Yorkshire, you might take off ense at the grim way the area is depicted throughout, but this should in no way detract from the sheer pleasure of watching exceedingly well made tele-vision spin a fascinating story. Bear in mind, this reviewer is from Glasgow and is more than accustomed to his home city being lampooned and decried all over British television. Fiction is fi ction – although in the case of Red Riding this is admittedly open to debate.

Alistair Grant

Channel 4 (2009) TV-links.com

THE RED RIDING TRILOGY

CH

AN

NEL

4

STAR RATINGLove LifeHigh LifeFast LifePark LifeThug Life

BBC

GAP YAH: "And this is where I literally chundered everywhaaaaare"

“Characters constantly feel the need to spell out exactly what they are thinking and how they are reacting to something."

LOST &

FOUND

Tuesday March 20 2012 Sport fan? Write for us! [email protected] studentnewspaper.org

“Politicians get stripped of anything that makes them endearing, interesting or likeable."

Injury Time TAKES A WRY LOOK AT

THE WORLD OF SPORTIt was a result many expected,

despite Heriot-Watt’s impressive victory in last year’s Varsity Quaich. Edinburgh reclaimed the traditional prize in comprehensive fashion, 4-0, with only the men’s rowing heat going the defending champions’ way. � e feeling amongst those who competed last time was that Edinburgh had been complacent in 2011 – fi elding weakened teams and failing to take their opponents seriously – and that Heriot-Watt had taken advantage well by completing their fi rst win over their more illustrious rivals in three years. � is year Edinburgh were determined to set the record straight.

With this more focused approach, the outcome was almost inevitable. Heriot-Watt deserve credit for com-peting well with an institution that has a talent pool three times bigger than theirs. � ough they were white-washed in the Quaich (tradition-ally contested across fi ve sports: men’s football, men’s rugby, men and wom-en’s hockey and mixed rowing), the results of the individual matches were close. � e men’s hockey match was a real thriller contested in full-blooded fashion by two strong teams in front of a big, rowdy crowd. It provided an example of what Varsity sport should be and credit to the teams and organ-isers for putting on a great spectacle.

� e same cannot be said, how-ever, for some of the other match-ups. Organisers focused on ensuring a competitive set of fi xtures, but this often meant one side fi elding weak-ened teams, which detracted from both the meaning and atmosphere at some fi xtures. Edinburgh’s football and women’s hockey sides featured few fi rst-team players. � is, along with the unavoidable absence of a rugby clash due to BUCS fi xtures, took some of the shine off the Quaich.

Varsity represents the only situation that many Edinburgh fi rst teams will face their Heriot-Watt counterparts, with the institutions often competing in diff erent divisions during the regular season. A more equal and fi erce rivalry already exists with Glasgow. A day of competition against Scotland’s second largest Uni-versity would no doubt present more of a draw with league defeats to be avenged, full-strength teams likely to be fi elded by both sides and occasions like this year’s men’s hockey fi xture guaranteed. � e Quaich could alter-nate each year between Peff ermill and Glasgow’s Garscube Sports Complex, with the Pleasance CSE, St Leon-ard’s Land and Glasgow’s Stevenson Building picking up the Cup fi xtures.

Easier said than done, perhaps. To replace the existing Varsity Day would mean a dismantling of tradi-tion and would leave Heriot-Watt without a regular opportunity to get one over their city rivals. � ere could be scope to run both. � e recent in-troduction of the Varsity Cup – which runs alongside the traditional Qua-ich – aims to eliminate meaningless fi xtures but does create an adminis-trative headache � is could remain in place for one, but not both days.

In general though, congratula-tions must go to the Edinburgh University organisers and athletes who delivered both entertainment and results. � is reporter is looking forward to next year’s competition – whatever shape it might take.

Davie Heaton

Sporting shorts from the last seven days

Men's FootballVarsity Day Quaich MatchPeff ermillWednesday 14th March 2pm

Edinburgh 2Heriot-Watt 1

THE EDINBURGH football team produced a gritty display to see off the challenge of their local rivals Heriot-Watt in a close encounter at Peff ermill on Burgh Varsity Day. � e footballers ensured they did their bit in order to help Edinburgh complete a historic day with victories in both the Quaich and the overall Cup with a 2-1 victory.

Goals from Edinburgh’s Timmins and Clarkson, either side of an equaliser from Kerr for Heriot-Watt, made certain that Heriot-Watt would not leave Edin-burgh’s stomping ground with the spoils.

Conditions were not ideal for fl owing football as a strong breeze blew diagonally across the pitch, but Edinburgh dealt with it best and straight from the kick-off , they went at the Heriot-Watt defence. � eir quick start was rewarded by a goal after only 10 minutes when Habta showed

great pace down the right-wing to beat two defenders, before centring for Tim-mins to slot home a cool fi nish.

Edinburgh’s one goal advantage was nothing more than they deserved against a nervy Heriot-Watt side. � e fi rst 30 minutes of the game were extremely one-sided as Edinburgh continued to pepper the opposition goal. Clarkson had a shot cleared off the line by Kerr and he also de-livered a dangerous free-kick into the box on the 20 minute mark, causing havoc in the Heriot-Watt defence, with Frainey and Chatterjee both coming close to scoring as a result.

� e main source of Edinburgh’s fi rst-half dominance was the pace and trickery of their wide players. � e 4-3-3 forma-tion they implemented suited Chatterjee and Habta brilliantly because it allowed them the freedom to exploit the space in behind the Heriot-Watt full-backs. One clear example of this came on 33 minutes, when Chatterjee sent a terrifi c low cross into the box that eluded everyone, includ-ing the Edinburgh players, and Heriot-Watt were able to breathe a sigh of relief.

It was not until the 35th minute, before Heriot-Watt were able to muster up a chance of any real note, when the impressive Stevenson expertly turned Edinburgh captain Leishman and fed a delicious through ball to the deceptively quick centre-forward Henderson. Hend-erson’s decent fi nish was saved by Costas in the Edinburgh goal, however.

With half-time looming, things took a turn for the worse when strong and late challenges came in from both teams in midfi eld, with Heriot-Watt the main instigators of this. Derbies between Ed-inburgh and Heriot-Watt are rarely quiet aff airs, but the referee had to be strong to prevent further bad challenges during the heated emotions of Varsity Day after a couple of digs from Micol and Ben Haim at Edinburgh players.

Amazingly, the second-half started with Heriot-Watt on the attack and Ed-inburgh attempting to defend their lead. Unfortunately, this defence did not last

long; a free-kick from the left-hand side by Stevenson fl ew perfectly onto the edge of the six-yard box and Heriot-Watt’s centre-back Kerr powered a header past Costas and into the left-hand corner. Kerr displayed the emotion of this his-toric day by running off in celebration and kissing the badge on his shirt. It was now 1-1 and it was all to play for.

� e game became a stalemate as each side matched one another in all areas of the park and it was only a moment of magic from Chatterjee that allowed Ed-inburgh to regain the lead. Chatterjee picked up the ball in his own half and ran at the heart of the Heriot-Watt defence, beating three men before he was scythed down on the edge of the box by Kerr, who was once again involved in the action. Kerr was asked to be substituted by the referee for a professional foul, something he could easily have been sent off for: he was the last man and Chatterjee was bearing down on goal.

� e goal that won this game was an absolute stunner. Clarkson, who had worked tirelessly in the Edinburgh mid-fi eld and had gone close with two previ-ous free-kicks, curled the ball into the top right-hand corner of the goal from 20 yards from the free-kick that Chatterjee had won. Mckendrick in the Heriot goal stood no chance as it nestled in the net.

Edinburgh celebrated in a similar

fashion to the way Heriot had reacted to their own equaliser. � e Edinburgh manager Darren Cameron was equally delighted with his team’s victory.

Cameron said, “I thought we played

really well and I thought we showed a great desire.” He continued, “Overall it was a good performance and we control-led the game from start to fi nish.” � e Edinburgh manager also described the winning goal as a “great, trademark free-kick from Clarkson,” that was “worthy of winning any match – particularly one on Varsity Day.”

� e football players knew that that had delivered a positive result on Varsity Day and it was up to the rest of Edin-burgh’s sports teams to bring the Quaich and the Cup home.

� ankfully for the University of Edin-burgh, they most certainly delivered.

Footballers do their bit for the QuaichChris Waugh reports on the Varsity football as Edinburgh sneak past Heriot-Watt, 2-1

DERBY: Edinburgh secured a win in a feisty aff air at Peff ermill

CH

AR

LES

CU

� ER

IDG

E

Football prays for Muamba:

BOLTON WANDERERS midfi elder Fabrice Muamba is “critically ill” in an intensive care unit of the heart attack centre at the London Chest hospital af-ter collapsing on the pitch during an FA Cup quarter-fi nal clash with Tottenham Hotspur at White Hart Lane.

Six medics spent six minutes attempt-ing to resuscitate Muamba after he fell to the ground, face down and stopped breathing. Players from both teams were visibly distressed by this event, with Jermain Defoe and Rafael van der Vaart both seen holding their hands together and looking to the sky and Darren Pratley in tears on the pitch.

Referee Howard Webb called for the match to be abandoned after speaking to managers Owen Coyle and Harry Red-knapp. Both sets of supporters chanted and sung Muamba’s name as he was carried down the tunnel and rushed to hospital after the attempts to administer

CPR and to use a defi brillator had proved unsuccessful.

Muamba, who has represented the England Under-21s 33 times, was ac-companied to hospital by his manager Coyle and club captain Kevin Davies. Coyle stated that Muamba’s situation is “very serious. � ere’s no getting away from that. God willing, he makes it through.” Sunday was said to be a critical day for Muamba in his fi ght to survive, but as � e Student went to press Muamba was still in a “critically ill” condition.

Players, journalists and fans fl ooded Twitter with messages of support for Muamba, highlighting the esteem this 23-year-old is held in. He has a two-year old son and a young fi ancé.

Wales deliver Grand Slam glory

WALES COMPLETED a third Grand Slam in eight years at the Millennium Stadium last weekend as they saw off a dogged French team to win 16-9. � is encounter was a fi tting tribute to former Wales and Lions number eight Mervyn Davies, who died last week, as the Welsh mirrored his achievement of captaining his country to a Grand Slam in 1976 by beating France in the fi nal match.

Elsewhere in the Six Nations, 2011 champions England overcame Ireland – their bogey-team in recent years – to secure second place in the table with a young and inexperienced side at Twick-enham. Stuart Lancaster must surely be off ered the England job after guiding his team to four victories out of fi ve in the 2012 campaign with such a youthful side. A penalty try and a try from Ben Youngs helped the English to power past Ireland by 30 points to 9, with the Irish collapsing as the second-half progressed and disap-pointing their fans on St. Patrick’s Day.

One coach who looks certain to lose his job is Andy Robinson, whose Scot-land side succumbed to a fi fth defeat in fi ve games in Rome and their thirteenth in their last fi fteen Six Nations matches. Italy ensured that Scotland would be this year’s recipient of the Wooden Spoon

Edinburgh Team:Costas, McArthur, McClean (vc),

Leishman (c), McMaster, Barber. Habta. Clarkson, Timmins, Frainey, Cha� erjee.

Subs: Gray (79), Cummins (85), Reed (75 ), Oswald (46), � ompson (r61), Aq-uila (80).

Glasgow Team:Mckendrick, Wilson, Heraghty, Kerr,

Ben Haim, Micol, Stevenson, Mya� , Hen-derson, � omson, Meikle.

Subs: McGildrey (77), Maggeniss (64), Davies (70), Connon (55).

Scorers:Edinburgh:Timmins (10), Clarkson (75).Heriot-Wa� :Kerr (49)

“We controlled the game from start to finish. The goal was worthy of winning any match."

Darren Cameron, Edinburgh Manager

“A fitting tribute to former Wales & Lions #8 Mervyn Davies...as the Welsh mirrored his achievement of captaining his country to a Grand Slam in 1976."

“Pray for Fab. God willing he will pull through."

Tottenham striker Jermaine Defoe

as a Venditti try was enough to see off Robinson’s men. If anything, the 13-6 score-line fl attered the Scots as they had no try-scoring opportunities of any note.

Button snatches Australian victory:

JENSON BUTTON was imperious at the Australian Gran Prix as he overtook McLaren teammate Lewis Hamilton on the fi rst corner of the fi rst lap and went on to win the race. Hamilton, who had qualifi ed on pole, was unlucky to only fi nish third as a result of a second safety car that allowed double world champion Sebastian Vettel to grab second place on the podium and start the defence of his title with a positive result.

With two former world champions and the current title-holder on the podium after the opening race of the season, 2012 looks set to be far closer than the previous championship that was dominated from the outset by Vettel and his Red Bull.

Britain could well have a world cham-pion in F1 once more after strong per-formances by Button and Hamilton, but this title could go right to the wire if this fi rst race is anything to go by. An exciting season is ahead of us.

Chris Waugh

Sport 27

Tuesday March 20 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Sport

BUCS ChampionshipsSheffi eld14th-18th March

GOLDMEDAL PERFORMANCES from Edinburgh University’s Modern Pentathlon and women’s karate teams lit up the BUCS Championships in Shef-fi eld last weekend.

Milanese fresher Edmondo Riva triumphed in the men’s foils fencing, while there were individual karate golds

for Luke Robinson (men’s novice kata), Valerie Greitens (women’s novice kata) and Diarmuid Lloyd (men’s intermedi-ate kata). Natalie Berry (climbing) also took gold at Britain’s largest student sport event.

Semi-fi nal team performances came from the women’s basketballers (lost 58-31 to UWIC), mixed table tennis players (lost 9-2 to Loughborough) and men’s volleyball (lost 25-20; 25-18 to Leeds Met). At the time of writing, all faced bronze-medal play-off s late on Sunday.

� ere were silver medals for Ruosi Huang (women’s intermediate kata kara-te), Louise Heyler (modern pentathlon) and the climbing team, while Elisebeth Gernerd (women’s sabre fencing), Joe Farrimond (men’s novice kata karate), Holly Sterling (women’s senior kata ka-rate), Katie Fowler (modern pentathlon)

and the men’s karate team (team kurnite) all took home bronze.

Over one-hundred athletes from the Scottish capital descended on South Yorkshire to compete against the best performing student teams of the aca-demic year in the event, which ran from Wednesday 14th to Sunday 18th March.

A good eff ort, but not yet the fi nished articleDavie Heaton reviews Varsity Day and off ers some suggestions for its improvement p 27

Men's HockeyVarsity Quaich MatchWednesday 14th March, 3pm K.O.

Edinburgh 4Heriot-Watt 2

A THRILLING derby saw Edin-burgh snatch a late win against rivals Heriot-Watt to seal the Varsity Quaich – despite having captain Callum Duke sent off at Peff ermill.

Goals from Andy Taylor and Andy Malcolm had given Heriot-Watt a sec-ond-half lead, following Niel McNiven’s defl ected opener for the hosts.

But Tom Kernsley, Craig McCrossan and Tom Swarbrick all scored in the fi nal 10 minutes to secure a 4-2 win.

Duke received his second yellow card late on for something said by another player to the referee in a game that threat-ened to boil over on several occasions.

“It was a really well-contested game in front of a good crowd so maybe that’s why there were so many cards,” said the skipper.

“Heriot-Watt played really well and made it very tough – they dominated at times.

“� ey were 2-1 up and it was well

deserved to be honest, but we really didn’t want to lose in front of all these people so we just kept fi ghting.

“It paid off because it got a bit easier once we equalised and we were able to push on and win.”

With their female hockey counter-parts and the men’s footballers having won their earlier games, and with no rug-by this year due to BUCS fi xture clashes, Edinburgh knew a win would give them an unassailable 3-0 lead in the battle for the Quaich with only the rowing fi nale to come.

And they got off to a bright start, dominating possession and looking threatening in the fi rst half.

� ey were almost ahead inside eight minutes when Jay Harman turned neatly to feed Andrew Campbell on the left, who was allowed to travel deep enough in-fi eld to shoot into the side-netting.

And the lively Campbell was again involved when his fi erce low cross from the fl ank just evaded the onrushing Nick Bryan in the centre.

It was not to be Bryan’s day in front of goal and minutes later another great cross – this time from Harman – fi zzed beyond both him and McNiven.

Heriot-Watt were hanging on; Kern-

sley fi red just wide after charging free down the left on 25 minutes.

But the visitors rallied to fi nish the half strongly, as Fraser Sands scuff ed an eff ort narrowly wide from a short corner before Aiden Doherty went close with a reverse-shot after fi nding space in the centre of the D.

Edinburgh took the lead just three minutes after the restart. Another good turn from the dangerous Harman allowed him to unleash a powerful shot from the edge of the area which ricocheted off McNiven’s stick and dribbled past the unfortunate keeper.

Enlivened by opening the scoring, Edinburgh went close twice soon after. Campbell jinked his way past two chal-lenges before just overrunning the ball as he neared goal and Kylan Pathmanathan was unable to convert Michael Johnson’s cut-back.

Edinburgh’s assistant coach Dennis Haye, who coached the Great British women at the 1992 Olympics in Barce-lona, was clearly unhappy at his team’s profl igacy and his concerns seemed to be founded in the 50th minute.

Keeper Dave Forrester saved well under pressure after a melee ensued from a short-corner, but Taylor was quickest to

react – latching onto the loose ball before lifting a stylish fi nish high into the net.

� e momentum of the game shifted and Heriot-Watt had an unlikely lead just fi ve minutes later. Edinburgh were again unable to defend a short corner, this time well worked by the visitors for Malcolm to apply the fi nish with a crisp, low drive.

Edinburgh rallied though. When Campbell once again thrust to the by-line with a determined run, he was able to pull the ball back for Kernsley to sweep home from close range.

By this point, both teams had play-ers – including Duke – in the sin-bin as tempers fl ared and aggressive tackles fl ew. And with a rowdy and sizable crowd, vic-tory seemed to be heading to whoever could hold their nerve under pressure.

It was the hosts who were able to man-age a late fl ourish. With just fi ve minutes to go, McCrossen was able to latch on to and guide in Kernsley’s cross from the right of the D, much to the delight of the majority Edinburgh crowd.

And despite Duke being dismissed after several players became embroiled in heated debate with the referee, Swarbrick was able to secure the win in the fi nal minute when found by Pathmanathan after a powerful break.

Gold rush for Edinburgh teamsDavie Heaton writes about the golden success of the University of Edinburgh at the BUCS Championships in Sheffi eld

Tempers fl ared as Edinburgh met Heriot-Watt in a crucial Quaich match at Peff ermill, � e Student's Davie Heaton reports

EUSU

Derby day classic seals Varsity victory

Overall BUCS Standings8th No� ingham 1736.59th Edinburgh 173610th Newcastle 1446

Edinburgh BUCS Points1st Swimming 2382nd Fencing 1473rd Hockey 1314th Squash 1275th Table Tennis 1166th Lacrosse 108

Sat 17th March ResultUWIC 1st 58-31 Edinburgh 1stWomen’s Basketball (Cup)

Fri 16th March ResultsEdinburgh 1st 2-0 Southampton 1stMen’s Volleyball (League)Edinburgh 1st 2-9 Loughborough 1stMen’s Table Tennis (Cup)

Wed 14th March ResultsGlasgow 1st 1-9 Edinburgh 1stMen’s Lacrosse (League)Edinburgh 1st 20-13 Loughborough 2ndMen's Rugby Union (League)

SO CLOSE: Mixed table tennis team were knocked out in the semis

TRIPLE GOLD: � ere were three karate golds at the BUCS

Overall Quaich Result:

Edinburgh 4-0 Heriot-Wa�

Individual Quaich Event Results:

Men's Hockey:Edinburgh 4-2 Heriot-Wa� (Scorers: McNiven, Kernsley, McCrossan, Swarbrick; Taylor, Malcolm)

Men's Football:Edinburgh 2-1 Heriot-Wa� (Scorers: Timmins, Clarkson; Kerr)

Women's Hockey:Edinburgh 2-0 Heriot-Wa� (Scorers: Dent, Gilbertson)

Rowing:Edinburgh 2-1 Heriot-Wa� (Edinburgh won the women's rowing and the mixed rowing, Heriot-Wa� won the men's)

EUSU

the student 20/03/2012

Documents

e week of action

e student

local action

big national action

s i n c e

t h e u

student walkout

student council