the surprising adventures of baron munchausen

8/12/2019 The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen

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INTRODUCTION

PREFACE

TRAVELS OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX

CHAPTER X

CHAPTER XI

CHAPTER XII

CHAPTER XIII

CHAPTER XIVCHAPTER XV

CHAPTER XVI

CHAPTER XVII

CHAPTER XVIII

CHAPTER XIX

CHAPTER XX

THE SECOND VOLUME

PREFACE

CHAPTER XXI

CHAPTER XXII

CHAPTER XXIII

CHAPTER XXIV

CHAPTER XXV

CHAPTER XXVI

CHAPTER XXVII

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CHAPTER XXVIII

CHAPTER XXIX

CHAPTER XXX

CHAPTER XXXI

CHAPTER XXXII

CHAPTER XXXIIICHAPTER XXXIV

INTRODUCTION

It is a curious fact that of that class of literature to which Munchausen belongs, that namely of Voyages Imaginaires , the three great types should have all been created in England. Utopia, Robinson Crusoe, andGulliver, illustrating respectively the philosophical, the edifying, and the satirical type of fictitious travel, wereall written in England, and at the end of the eighteenth century a fourth type, the fantastically mendacious, wasevolved in this country. f this type Munchausen was the modern original, and remains the classical e!ample."he adaptability of such a species of composition to local and topical uses might well be considered pre#udicialto its chances of obtaining a permanent place in literature. $et Munchausen has undoubtedly achieved such a

place. "he %aron&s notoriety is universal, his character proverbial, and his name as familiar as that of Mr.'emuel Gulliver, or Robinson Crusoe, mariner, of $or(. Condemned by the learned, li(e some other masterpieces, as worthless, Munchausen&s travels have obtained such a world)wide fame, that the story of their origin possesses a general and historic interest apart from whatever of obscurity or of curiosity it may have torecommend it.

"he wor( first appeared in 'ondon in the course of the year *+ -. o copy of the first edition appears to beaccessible/ it seems, however, to have been issued some time in the autumn, and in the Critical Review for 0ecember *+ - there is the following notice1 2%aron Munchausen&s arrative of his Marvellous "ravels andCampaigns in Russia. 3mall vo, I3. 43mith5. "his is a satirical production calculated to throw ridicule on the

bold assertions of some parliamentary declaimers. If rant may be best foiled at its own weapons, the author&sdesign is not ill)founded/ for the marvellous has never been carried to a more whimsical and ludicrous e!tent.2"he reviewer had probably read the wor( through from one paper cover to the other. It was in fact too short to

bore the most blas6 of his (ind, consisting of but forty)nine small octavo pages. "he second edition, which is in

the %ritish Museum, bears the following title/ 2%aron Munchausen&s arrative of his Marvellous "ravels andCampaigns in Russia/ humbly dedicated and recommended to country gentlemen, and if they please to berepeated as their own after a hunt, at horse races, in watering places, and other such polite assemblies/ round the

bottle and fireside. 3mith. 7rinted at !ford. *+ 8.2 "he fact that this little pamphlet again consists of but forty)nine small octavo pages, combined with the similarity of title 4as far as that of the first edition is given in theCritical Review 5, publisher, and price, affords a strong presumption that it was identical with the first edition."his edition contains only chapters ii., iii., iv., v., and vi. 4pp. *9)::5 of the present reprint. "hese chapters arethe best in the boo( and their substantial if peculiar merit can hardly be denied, but the pamphlet appears tohave met with little success, and early in *+ 8 3mith seems to have sold the property to another boo(seller,;earsley. ;earsley had it enlarged, but not, we are e!pressly informed, in the preface to the seventh edition, bythe hand of the original author 4who happened to be in Cornwall at the time5. <e also had it illustrated and

brought it out in the same year in boo( form at the enhanced price of two shillings, under the title1 2Gulliver Reviv&d1 "he 3ingular "ravels, Campaigns, =oyages and 3porting >dventures of %aron Munni(housoncommonly pronounced Munchausen/ as he relates them over a bottle when surrounded by his friends. > new

















edition considerably enlarged with views from the %aron&s drawings. 'ondon. *+ 8.2 > well)informed Critical Reviewer would have amended the title thus1 2'ucian reviv&d1 or Gulliver %eat with his own %ow.2

?our editions now succeeded each other with rapidity and without modification. > German translationappeared in *+ 8 with the imprint 'ondon1 it was, however, in reality printed by 0ieterich at G@ttingen. It wasa free rendering of the fifth edition, the preface being a clumsy combination of that prefi!ed to the originaledition with that which ;earsley had added to the third.

"he fifth edition 4which is, with the e!ception of trifling differences on the title)page, identical with the third,fourth, and si!th5 is also that which has been followed in the present reprint down to the conclusion of chapter twenty, where it ends with the words 2the great Auadrangle.2 "he supplement treating of Munchausen&se!traordinary flight on the bac( of an eagle over ?rance to Gibraltar, 3outh and orth >merica, the 7olar Regions, and bac( to England is derived from the seventh edition of *+B , which has a new sub)title1

D2Gulliver reviv&d, or the =ice of 'ying properly e!posed.2 "he preface to this enlarged edition also informsthe reader that the last four editions had met with e!traordinary success, and that the supplementary chapters,all, that is, with the e!ception of chapters ii., iii., iv., v., and vi., which are ascribed to %aron Munchausenhimself, were the production of another pen, written, however, in the %aron&s manner. "o the same ingenious

person the public was indebted for the engravings with which the boo( was embellished. "he seventh was thelast edition by which the classic te!t of Munchausen was seriously modified. Even before this importantconsummation had been arrived at, a seAuel, which was within a fraction as long as the original wor( 4itoccupies pp. *8 ) BB of this volume5, had appeared under the title, 2> 3eAuel to the >dventures of %aronMunchausen. . . . <umbly dedicated to Mr. %ruce the >byssinian traveller, as the %aron conceives that it may

be some service to him, previous to his ma(ing another #ourney into >byssinia. %ut if this advice does notdelight Mr. %ruce, the %aron is willing to fight him on any terms he pleases.2 "his wor( was issued separately.'ondon, *+B , vo.

3uch is the history of the boo( during the first eight or constructive years of its e!istence, beyond which it isnecessary to trace it, until at least we have touched upon the long)ve!ed Auestion of its authorship.

Munchausen&s travels have in fact been ascribed to as many different hands as those of dysseus. %ut 4as inmost other respects5 it differs from the more ancient fabulous narrative in that its authorship has been thesub#ect of but little controversy. Many people have entertained erroneous notions as to its authorship, whichthey have circulated with complete assurance/ but they have not felt it incumbent upon them to support their own views or to combat those of other people. It has, moreover, been freAuently stated with eAual confidenceand inaccuracy that the authorship has never been settled. >n early and persistent version of the genesis of thetravels was that they too( their origin from the rivalry in fabulous tales of three accomplished students atG@ttingen University, %Frger, ; stner, and 'ichtenberg/ another ran that Gottfried >ugust %Frger, the German

poet and author of 2'enore,2 had at a later stage of his career met %aron Munchausen in 7yrmont and ta(endown the stories from his own lips. 7ercy in his anecdotes attributes the "ravels to a certain Mr. M.4Munchausen also began with an M.5 who was imprisoned at 7aris during the Reign of "error. 3outhey in his2 mniana2 con#ectured, from the coincidences between two of the tales and two in a 7ortuguese periodical

published in *+ 9, that the English fictions must have been derived from the 7ortuguese. Hilliam Hest the boo(seller and numerous followers have stated that Munchausen owed its first origin to %ruce&s "ravels, andwas written for the purpose of burlesAuing that unfairly treated wor(. 7ierer boldly stated that it was asuccessful anonymous satire upon the English government of the day, while Meusel with eAual temerityaffirmed in his 2'e!i(on2 that the boo( was a translation of the 2well)(nown Munchausen lies2 e!ecuted from a4non)e!istent5 German original by Rudolph Erich Raspe. > writer in the entleman!s "aga#ine for * -8 callsthe boo( the #oint production of %Frger and Raspe.

f all the con#ectures, of which these are but a selection, the most accurate from a German point of view isthat the boo( was the wor( of %Frger, who was the first to dress the "ravels in a German garb, and was for along time almost universally credited with the sole proprietorship. %Frger himself appears neither to haveclaimed nor disclaimed the distinction. "here is, however, no doubt whatever that the boo( first appeared inEnglish in *+ -, and that %Frger&s German version did not see the light until *+ 8. "he first German edition4though in reality printed at G@ttingen5 bore the imprint 'ondon, and was stated to be derived from an English

source/ but this was, reasonably enough, held to be merely a measure of precaution in case the actual %aronMunchausen 4who was a well)(nown personage in G@ttingen5 should be stupid enough to feel aggrieved at

being made the butt of a gross caricature. In this way the discrepancy of dates mentioned above might easilyhave been obscured, and %Frger might still have been credited with a wor( which has proved a better protectionagainst oblivion than 2'enore,2 had it not been for the officious sensitiveness of his self)appointed biographer,



;arl von Reinhard. Reinhard, in an answer to an attac( made upon his hero for bringing out Munchausen as a pot)boiler in German and English simultaneously, definitely stated in the $erlin esellsc%a&ters of ovember * :, that the real author of the original wor( was that disreputable genius, Rudolph Erich Raspe, and that theGerman wor( was merely a free translation made by %Frger from the fifth edition of the English wor(. %Frger,he stated, was well aware of, but was too high)minded to disclose the real authorship.

"a(ing Reinhard&s solemn asseveration in con#unction with the ascertained facts of Raspe&s career, hisundoubted acAuaintance with the %aron Munchausen of real life and the first appearance of the wor( in *+ -,when Raspe was certainly in England, there seems to be little difficulty in accepting his authorship as a positive

fact. "here is no difficulty whatever, in crediting Raspe with a sufficient mastery of English idiom to havewritten the boo( without assistance, for as early as anuary *+ 9 4since which date Raspe had resideduninterruptedly in this country5 Halpole wrote to his friend Mason that 2Raspe writes English much above illand spea(s it as readily as ?rench,2 and shortly afterwards he remar(ed that he wrote English 2surprisinglywell.2 In the ne!t year, *+ *, Raspe&s absolute command of the two languages encouraged him to publish twomoderately good prose)translations, one of 'essing&s 2 athan the Hise,2 and the other of Jachariae&s Moc()heroic, 2"abby in Elysium.2 "he erratic character of the punctuation may be said, with perfect impartiality, to bethe only distinguishing feature of the style of the original edition of 2Munchausen.2

Curious as is this long history of literary misappropriation, the cheAuered career of the rightful author,Rudolph Erich Raspe, offers a chapter in biography which has Auite as many points of singularity.

%orn in <anover in *+ +, Raspe studied at the Universities of G@ttingen and 'eipsic. <e is stated also tohave rendered some assistance to a young nobleman in sowing his wild oats, a seAuel to his university coursewhich may possibly help to e!plain his subseAuent aberrations. "he connection cannot have lasted long, as in*+8 , having already obtained reputation as a student of natural history and antiAuities, he obtained a post asone of the cler(s in the University 'ibrary at <anover.

o later than the following year contributions written in elegant 'atin are to be found attached to his name inthe 'eipsic Nova Acta Er'(itor'm . In *+8: he alluded gracefully to the connection between <anover andEngland in a piece upon the birthday of Kueen Charlotte, and having been promoted secretary of the University'ibrary at G@ttingen, the young savant commenced a translation of 'eibniL&s philosophical wor(s which wasissued in 'atin and ?rench after the original M33. in the Royal 'ibrary at <anover, with a preface by Raspe&sold college friend ; stner 4G@ttingen, *+8-5. >t once a courtier, an antiAuary, and a philosopher, Raspe ne!tsought to display his vocation for polite letters, by publishing an ambitious allegorical poem of the age of chivalry, entitled 2<ermin and Gunilde,2 which was not only e!ceedingly well reviewed, but received thehonour of a parody entitled 2<arleAuin and Columbine.2 <e also wrote translations of several of the poems of ssian, and a disAuisition upon their genuineness/ and then with better inspiration he wrote a considerabletreatise on 27ercy&s ReliAues of >ncient 7oetry,2 with metrical translations, being thus the first to call theattention of Germany to these admirable poems, which were afterwards so successfully ransac(ed by %Frger,<erder, and other early German romanticists.

In *+8+ Raspe was again advanced by being appointed 7rofessor at the Collegium Carolinum in Cassel, and(eeper of the landgrave of <esse&s rich and curious collection of antiAue gems and medals. <e was shortlyafterwards appointed 'ibrarian in the same city, and in *++* he married. <e continued writing on natural

history, mineralogy, and arch ology, and in *+8B a paper in the -Bth volume of the 7hilosophical "ransactions,on the bones and teeth of elephants and other animals found in orth >merica and various boreal regions of theworld, procured his election as an honorary member of the Royal 3ociety of 'ondon. <is conclusion in this

paper that large elephants or mammoths must have previously e!isted in boreal regions has, of course, beenabundantly #ustified by later investigations. Hhen it is added that Raspe during this part of his life also wrote

papers on lithography and upon musical instruments, and translated >lgarotti&s "reatise on 2>rchitecture,7ainting, and pera Music,2 enough will have been said to ma(e manifest his very remar(able and somewhat

proli! versatility. In *++ he made a tour in Hestphalia in Auest of M33., and on his return, by way of completing his education, he turned #ournalist, and commenced a periodical called the Cassel )*ectator , withMauvillon as his co)editor. In *++- he was travelling in Italy on a commission to collect articles of vertu for thelandgrave, and it was apparently soon after his return that he began appropriating to his own use valuable coins

abstracted from the cabinets entrusted to his care. <e had no difficulty in finding a mar(et for the antiAueswhich he wished to dispose of, and which, it has been charitably suggested, he had every intention of replacingwhenever opportunity should serve. <is conseAuent procedure was, it is true, scarcely that of a hardenedcriminal. <aving obtained the permission of the landgrave to visit %erlin, he sent the (eys of his cabinet bac( tothe authorities at CasselDand disappeared. <is thefts, to the amount of two thousand ri!dollars, were promptly



discovered, and advertisements were issued for the arrest of the Councillor Raspe, described without suspicionof flattery as a long)faced man, with small eyes, croo(ed nose, red hair under a stumpy periwig, and a #er(ygait. "he necessities that prompted him to commit a felony are possibly indicated by the addition that he usuallyappeared in a scarlet dress embroidered with gold, but sometimes in blac(, blue, or grey clothes. <e was seiLedwhen he had got no farther than ;lausthal, in the <artL mountains, but he lost no time in escaping from theclutches of the police, and made his way to England. <e never again set foot on the continent.

<e was already an e!cellent English scholar, so that when he reached 'ondon it was not unnatural that heshould loo( to authorship for support. Hithout loss of time, he published in 'ondon in *++8 a volume on some

German =olcanoes and their productions/ in *+++ he translated the then highly esteemed mineralogical travelsof ?erber in Italy and <ungary. In *+ 9 we have an interesting account of him from <orace Halpole, who wroteto his friend, the Rev. Hilliam Mason1 2"here is a 0utch sNavant come over who is author of several pieces solearned that I do not even (now their titles1 but he has made a discovery in my way which you may be sure I

believe, for it proves what I e!pected and hinted in my &>necdotes of 7ainting,& that the use of oil colours was(nown long before =an Eyc(.2 Raspe, he went on to say, had discovered a M3. of "heophilus, a German mon( in the fourth century, who gave receipts for preparing the colours, and had thereby convicted =asari of error.2Raspe is poor, and I shall try and get subscriptions to enable him to print his wor(, which is sensible, clear, andunpretending.2 "hree months later it was, 27oor Raspe is arrested by his tailor . I have sent him a little money,and he hopes to recover his liberty, but I Auestion whether he will be able to struggle on here.2 <is 2Essay onthe rigin of il 7ainting2 was actually published through Halpole&s good service in >pril *+ *. <e seems tohave had plans of going to >merica and of e!cavating antiAuities in Egypt, where he might have done goodservice, but the bad name that he had earned dogged him to 'ondon. "he Royal 3ociety struc( him off its rolls,and in revenge he is said to have threatened to publish a travesty of their transactions. <e was doubtless oftenhard put to it for a living, but the variety of his attainments served him in good stead. <e possessed or gainedsome reputation as a mining e!pert, and ma(ing his way down into Cornwall, he seems for some yearssubseAuent to *+ to have been assay)master and store(eeper of some mines at 0olcoath. Hhile still at0olcoath, it is very probable that he put together the little pamphlet which appeared in 'ondon at the close of *+ -, with the title 2%aron Munchausen&s arrative of his Marvellous "ravels and Campaigns in Russia,2 andhaving given his +e' (!es*rit to the world, and possibly earned a few guineas by it, it is not li(ely that he gavemuch further thought to the matter. In the course of *+ - or *+ 8, he entered upon a tas( of much greater magnitude and immediate importance, namely, a descriptive catalogue of the Collection of 7astes andImpressions from >ncient and Modern Gems, formed by ames "assie, the eminent connoisseur. "assie engagedRaspe in *+ - to ta(e charge of his cabinets, and to commence describing their contents1 he can hardly have

been ignorant of his employ6&s delinAuencies in the past, but he probably estimated that mere casts of gemswould not offer sufficient temptation to a man of Raspe&s eclectic tastes to ma(e the e!periment a dangerousone. Early in *+ 8, Raspe produced a brief but well)e!ecuted conspectus of the arrangement and classificationof the collection, and this was followed in *+B* by 2> 0escriptive Catalogue,2 in which over fifteen thousandcasts of ancient and modern engraved gems, cameos, and intaglios from the most renowned cabinets in Europewere enumerated and described in ?rench and English. "he two Auarto volumes are a monument of patient andhighly s(illed industry, and they still fetch high prices. "he elaborate introduction prefi!ed to the wor( wasdated from Edinburgh, >pril *8, *+B9.

"his laborious tas( completed, Raspe lost no time in applying himself with renewed energy to mineralogicalwor(. It was announced in the )cots "aga#ine for ctober *+B* that he had discovered in the e!treme north of 3cotland, where he had been invited to search for minerals, copper, lead, iron, manganese, and other valuable

products of a similar character. ?rom 3utherland he brought specimens of the finest clay, and reported a finevein of heavy spar and 2every symptom of coal.2 %ut in Caithness lay the loadstone which had brought Raspeto 3cotland. "his was no other than 3ir ohn 3inclair of Ulbster, a benevolent gentleman of an ingenious andinAuiring disposition, who was an!ious to e!ploit the supposed mineral wealth of his barren 3cottish

possessions. Hith him Raspe too( up his abode for a considerable time at his spray)beaten castle on the7entland ?irth, and there is a tradition, among members of the family, of 3ir ohn&s unfailing appreciation of thewide intelligence and facetious humour of Raspe&s conversation. 3inclair had some years previously discovereda small vein of yellow mundic( on the moor of 3(innet, four miles from "hurso. "he Cornish miners heconsulted told him that the mundic( was itself of no value, but a good sign of the pro!imity of other valuableminerals. Mundic(, said they, was a good horseman, and always rode on a good load. <e now employed Raspeto e!amine the ground, not designing to mine it himself, but to let it out to other capitalists in return for aroyalty, should the investigation #ustify his hopes. "he necessary funds were put at Raspe&s disposal, and masses



of bright, heavy material were brought to "hurso Castle as a foretaste of what was coming. %ut when the timecame for the fruition of this golden promise, Raspe disappeared, and subseAuent inAuiries revealed thedeplorable fact that these opulent ores had been carefully imported by the mining e!pert from Cornwall, and

planted in the places where they were found. 3ir Halter 3cott must have had the incident 4though not Raspe5 inhis mind when he created the 0ousterswivel of his 2>ntiAuary.2 >s for Raspe, he betoo( himself to a remote

part of the United ;ingdom, and had commenced some mining operations in country 0onegal, when he wascarried off by scarlet fever at Muc(ross in *+B:. 3uch in brief outline was the career of Rudolph Erich Raspe,scholar, swindler, and undoubted creator of %aron Munchausen.

"he merit of Munchausen, as the adult reader will readily perceive, does not reside in its literary style, for Raspe is no e!ception to the rule that a man never has a style worthy of the name in a language that he did not

prattle in. %ut it is eAually obvious that the real and original Munchausen, as Raspe conceived and doubtlessintended at one time to develop him, was a delightful personage whom it would be the height of absurdity todesignate a mere liar. Unfortunately the tas( was ta(en out of his hand and a good character spoiled, li(e manyanother, by mere seAuel)mongers. Raspe was an impudent scoundrel, and fortunately so/ his impudence relievesus of any difficulty in resolving the Auestion,Dto whom 4if any one5 did he owe the original conception of thecharacter whose fame is now so universal.

Hhen Raspe was resident in G@ttingen he obtained, in all probability through Gerlach >dolph vonMunchausen, the great patron of arts and letters and of G@ttingen University, an introduction to <ieronynimus;arl ?riedrich von Munchausen, at whose hospitable mansion at %odenwerder he became an occasional visitor.<ieronynimus, who was born at %odenwerder on May **, *+ 9, was a cadet of what was (nown as the blac( line of the house of Rinteln %odenwerder, and in his youth served as a page in the service of 7rince >ntonUlrich of %runswic(. Hhen Auite a stripling he obtained a cornetcy in the 2%runswic( Regiment2 in the Russianservice, and on ovember +, *+:9, he was created a lieutenant by letters patent of the Empress >nna, andserved two arduous campaigns against the "ur(s during the following years. In *+-9 he was promoted to be acaptain of cuirassiers by the Empress EliLabeth, and about *+89 he retired from the Russian service to live uponhis patrimonial estate at %odenwerder in the congenial society of his wife and his paragon among huntsmen,R@semeyer, for whose particular benefit he maintained a fine pac( of hounds. <e (ept open house, and loved todivert his guests with stories, not in the braggart vein of 0ugald 0algetty, but so embellished with palpablye!travagant lies as to crac( with a humour that was all their own. "he manner has been appropriated by

>rtemus Hard and Mar( "wain, but it was invented by Munchausen. ow the stories mainly relate to sportingadventures, and it has been asserted by one contemporary of the baron that Munchausen contracted the habit of drawing such a long)bow as a measure of self)defence against his invaluable but loAuacious henchman, theworthy R@semeyer. %ut it is more probable, as is hinted in the first preface, that Munchausen, being a shrewdman, found the practice a sovereign specific against bores and all other (inds of serious or irrelevant people,while it naturally endeared him to the friends of whom he had no small number.

<e told his stories with imperturbable sang &roi( , in a dry manner, and with perfect naturalness andsimplicity. <e spo(e as a man of the world, without circumlocution/ his adventures were numerous and perhapssingular, but only such as might have been e!pected to happen to a man of so much e!perience. > smile never traversed his face as he related the least credible of his tales, which the less intimate of his acAuaintance beganin time to thin( he meant to be ta(en seriously. In short, so strangely entertaining were both manner and matter of his narratives, that 2Munchausen&s 3tories2 became a by)word among a host of appreciative acAuaintance.>mong these was Raspe, who years afterwards, when he was starving in 'ondon, bethought himself of theincomparable baron. <e half remembered some of his sporting stories, and supplemented these by gleaningsfrom his own commonplace boo(. "he result is a curious medley, which testifies clearly to learning and wit, andalso to the turning over of musty old boo(s of &aceti, written in e!ecrable 'atin.

"he story of the %aron&s horse being cut in two by the descending portcullis of a besieged town, and thehorseman&s innocence of the fact until, upon reaching a fountain in the midst of the city, the insatiate thirst of the animal betrayed his deficiency in hind Auarters, was probably derived by Raspe from the Faceti,

$e-elian, of <einrich %ebel, first published at 3trassburgh in *-9 ."here it is given as follows1 20e Insigni Mendacio. ?aber clavicularius Auem superius fabrum mendaciorum

di!i, narravit se tempore belli, credens suos se subsecuturos eAuitando ad cu#usdam oppidi portas penetrasse1 etcum ad portas venisset cataractam turre demissam, eAuum suum post ephippium discidisse, dimidiatumAuereliAuisse, atAue se media parte eAui ad forum usAue oppidi eAuitasse, et caedem non modicam peregisse. 3edcum retrocedere vellet multitudine hostium obrutus, tum demum eAuum cecidisse seAue captum fuisse.2



"he drin(ing at the fountain was probably an embellishment of Raspe&s own. Many of %ebel&s #ests wererepeated in . 7. 'ange&s Delicioe Aca(emicoe 4<eilbronn, *88-5, a section of which was e!pressly devoted to2Mendacia Ridicula2/ but the yarn itself is probably much older than either. 3imilarly, the Auaint legend of thethawing of the horn was told by Castiglione in his Cortegiano , first published in *- . "his is how Castiglionetells it1 > merchant of 'ucca had travelled to 7oland in order to buy furs/ but as there was at that time a war with Muscovy, from which country the furs were procured, the 'ucchese merchant was directed to the confinesof the two countries. n reaching the %orysthenes, which divided 7oland and Muscovy, he found that theMuscovite traders remained on their own side of the river from distrust, on account of the state of hostilities.

"he Muscovites, desirous of being heard across the river announced the prices of their furs in a loud voice/ butthe cold was so intense that their words were froLen in the air before they could reach the opposite side.<ereupon the 7oles lighted a fire in the middle of the river, which was froLen into a solid mass/ and in thecourse of an hour the words which had been froLen up were melted, and fell gently upon the further ban(,although the Muscovite traders had already gone away. "he prices demanded were, however, so high that the'ucchese merchant returned without ma(ing any purchase. > similar idea is utilised by Rabelais in Pantagr'el ,and by 3teele in one of his Tatlers . "he story of the cherry tree growing out of the stag&s head, again, is given in'ange&s boo(, and the fact that all three tales are of great antiAuity is proved by the appearance of counterpartsto them in 'ady Guest&s edition of the "a-inogion . > great number of n'goe canoroe of a perfectly similar typeare narrated in the si!teenth century 2"ravels of the ?in(enritter2 attributed to 'orenL von 'auterbach.

"o humorous waifs of this description, without fi!ed origin or birthplace, did Raspe give a classical settingamongst embroidered versions of the baron&s sporting #o(es. "he unscrupulous manner in which he affi!edMunchausen&s own name to the completed +e' (!es*rit is, ethically spea(ing, the least pardonable of his crimes/for when Raspe&s little boo( was first transformed and enlarged, and then translated into German, the genial old

baron found himself the victim of an unmerciful caricature, and without a rag of concealment. It isconseAuently not surprising to hear that he became soured and reticent before his death at %odenwerder in*+B+.

3trangers had already begun to come down to the place in the hope of getting a glimpse of the eccentricnobleman, and foolish stories were told of his thundering out his lies with apoplectic visage, his eyes startingout of his head, and perspiration beading his forehead. "he fountain of his reminiscences was in reality Auitedried up, and it must be admitted that this e!cellent old man had only too good reason to consider himself an

in#ured person.In this way, then, came to be written the first delightful chapters of %aron Munchausen&s 2 arrative of his

"ravels and Campaigns in Russia.2 It was not primarily intended as a satire, nor was it specially designed tota(e of the e!travagant flights of contemporary travellers. It was rather a literary frivolity, thrown off at oneeffort by a tatterdemalion genius in sore need of a few guineas.

"he remainder of the boo( is a melancholy e!ample of the fallacy of enlargements and of seAuels. either Raspe nor the baron can be seriously held responsible for a single word of it. It must have been written by a

boo(seller&s hac(, whom it is now Auite impossible to identify, but who was evidently of native origin/ and the boo( is a characteristically English product, full of personal and political satire, with #ust a twang of edification."he first continuation 4chapters one and seven, to twenty, inclusive5, which was supplied with the third edition,is merely a modern rec%a'&&., with 2up to date2 allusions, of 'ucian&s Vera Historia . 7rototypes of the ma#orityof the stories may either be found in 'ucian or in the twenty volumes of Voyages Imaginaires , published at7aris in *+ +. In case, however, any reader should be sceptical as to the accuracy of this statement he will haveno very great difficulty in supposing, as 0r. ohnson supposed of ssian, that anybody could write a greatamount of such stuff if he would only consent to abandon his mind to the tas(.

Hith the supplementary chapters commence topical allusions to the recently issued memoirs of %aron de"ott, an enterprising ?renchman who had served the Great "ur( against the Russians in the Crimea 4an Englishtranslation of his boo( had appeared in *+ -5. "he satire upon this gallant soldier&s veracity appears to be Auiteundeserved, though one can hardly read portions of his adventures without being forcibly reminded of the%aron&s laconic style. It is needless to add that the amaLing account of 0e "ott&s origin is grossly libellous. "heamount of public interest e!cited by the ronautical e!ploits of Montgolfier and %lanchard was also playfully

satirised. "heir first imitator in England, =incenLo 'unardi, had made a successful ascent from Moorfields asrecently as *+ :, while in the following year %lanchard crossed the channel in a balloon and earned thesobriAuet Don /'i0ote (e la "anc%e . <is grotesAue appropriation of the motto 2 )ic it'r a( astra 2 made him, atleast, a fit ob#ect for Munchausen&s gibes. In the %aron&s visit to Gibraltar we have evidence that the anonymouswriter, in common with the rest of the reading public, had been studying ohn 0rin(water&s 2<istory of the



3iege of Gibraltar2 4completed in *+ 5, which had with e!treme rapidity established its reputation as a militaryclassic. 3imilarly, in the 7olar adventures, the 2=oyage towards the orth 7ole,2 *++:, of Constantine ohn7hipps, afterwards 'ord Mulgrave, is gently ridiculed, and so also some incidents from 7atric( %rydone&s 2"our through 3icily and Malta2 4*++ 5, are, for no obvious reason, contemptuously dragged in. "he e!ploitation of absurd and libellous chap)boo( lives of 7ope Clement OI=., the famous Ganganelli, can only be described as alow bid for vulgar applause. > ?rench translation of %aron ?riedrich von "renc(&s celebrated Memoirs appearedat MetL in *+ +, and it would certainly seem that in overloo(ing them the compiler of Munchausen was guiltyof a grave omission. <e may, however, have regarded "renc(&s adventures less as material for ridicule than as a

series of %1-leries which threatened to rival his own."he 3eventh Edition, published in *+B , with the supplement 4pp. *: ) *8*5, was, with the abominable

proclivity to edification which mar(ed the publisher of the period 4that of 2Goody "wo)3hoes2 and 23andfordand Merton25, styled 2Gulliver Reviv&d1 or t%e Vice o& 2ying Pro*erly E0*ose( .2 "he previous year hadwitnessed the first appearance of the seAuel, of which the full title has already been given, 2with twenty capitalcopperplates, including the baron&s portrait.2 "he merit of Munchausen as a mouthpiece for ridiculing traveller&stall)tal(, or indeed anything that shoc(ed the incredulity of the age, was by this time widely recognised. >ndhence with some little ingenuity the popular character was pressed into the service of the vulgar clamour against ames %ruce, whose 2"ravels to 0iscover the 3ources of the ile2 had appeared in *+B9. In particular %ruce&s description of the >byssinian custom of feeding upon 2live bulls and (ava2 provo(ed a chorus of incredulity. "he traveller was ridiculed upon the stage as Macfable, and in a cloud of ephemeral productions/nor is the following allusion in 7eter 7indar obscure1D

C>or have 7 been !here "en D!hat oss a as F ?i ha f a co!, then send the rest to grass#C

"he way in which %ruce resented the popular scepticism is illustrated by the following anecdote told by 3ir ?rancis <ead, his biographer. > gentleman once observed, at a country house where %ruce was staying, that itwas not possible that the natives of >byssinia could eat raw meatP 2%ruce said not a word, but leaving the room,shortly returned from the (itchen with a piece of raw beef)stea(, peppered and salted in the >byssinian fashion.&$ou will eat that, sir, or fight me,& he said. Hhen the gentleman had eaten up the raw flesh 4most willinglywould he have eaten his words instead5, %ruce calmly observed, & ow, sir, you will never again say it isim*ossi-le .&2 In reality, %ruce seems to have been treated with much the same in#ustice as <erodotus. "he truth

of the bul( of his narrative has been fully established, although a passion for the picturesAue may certainly haveled him to embellish many of the minor particulars. >nd it must be remembered, that his boo( was not dictateduntil twelve years after the events narrated.

>part from %ruce, however, the seAuel, li(e the previous continuation, contains a great variety of political,literary, and other allusions of the most purely topical characterD0r. ohnson&s "our in the <ebrides, Mr. 7itt,%ur(e&s famous pamphlet upon the ?rench Revolution, Captain Coo(, "ippoo 3ahib 4who had been brought to

bay by 'ord Cornwallis between *+B9 and *+B 5. "he revolutionary pandemonium in 7aris, and the royal flightto =arennes in une *+B*, and the loss of the 2Royal George2 in *+ , all form the sub#ects of AuiLLicalcomments, and there are many other allusions the interest of which is Auite as ephemeral as those of a 0rury'ane pantomime or a Gaiety %urlesAue.

evertheless the accretions have proved powerless to spoil 2Munchausen.2 "he nucleus supplied by Raspewas instinct with so much energy that it has succeeded in vitalising the whole mass of e!traneous e!travagance.

>lthough, li(e 2Gulliver&s "ravels,2 2Munchausen2 might at first sight appear to be ill)suited, in more thanone respect, for the nursery, yet it has proved the delight of children of all ages/ and there are probably few, inthe bac(ground of whose childish imagination the astonishing Munchausen has not at one time or another,together with Robinson Crusoe, ac()the)Giant);iller, and the 7ied 7iper of <amelyn, assumed proportions atonce gigantic and seductively picturesAue.

"he wor(, as has been shown, assumed its final form before the close of the eighteenth century/ with thenineteenth it commenced its triumphant progress over the civilised world. 3ome of the subseAuenttransformations and migrations of the boo( are worthy of brief record.

> voluminous German continuation was published at 3tendhal in three volumes between *+B: and * 99."here was also a continuation comprising e!ploits at Halcheren, the 0ardanelles, "alavera, Cintra, andelsewhere, published in 'ondon in * **. >n elaborate ?rench translation, with embellishments in the ?renchmanner, appeared at 7aris in * 8 . Immerman&s celebrated novel entitled 2Munchausen2 was published in four volumes at 0usseldorf in * :*, and a very free rendering of the %aron&s e!ploits, styled 2Munchausen&s



'ugenabenteuer,2 at 'eipsic in * :8. "he wor( has also been translated into 0utch, 0anish, Magyar 4 $ar( (e "3n0 5, Russian, 7ortuguese, 3panish 4 El Con(e (e las "aravillas 5, and many other tongues, and an estimatethat over one hundred editions have appeared in England, Germany, and >merica alone, is probably rather under than above the mar(.

"he boo( has, moreover, at the same time provided illustrations to writers and orators, and the richest andmost ample material for illustrations to artists. "he original rough woodcuts are anonymous, but the

possibilities of the wor( were discovered as early as * 9B, by "homas Rowlandson, who illustrated the edition published in that year. "he edition of * -B owed embellishments to CrowAuill, while Crui(shan( supplied some

characteristic woodcuts to that of * 8B. Coloured designs for the travels were e!ecuted by a ?rench artistRichard in * + , and illustrations were underta(en independently for the German editions by Riepenhausen and<osemann respectively. "he German artist >dolph 3chr@dter has also painted a celebrated picture representingthe %aron surrounded by his listeners. %ut of all the illustrations yet invented, the general verdict has hithertodeclared in favour of those supplied to "h6ophile Gautier&s ?rench edition of * 8 by Gustave 0or6, who fullymaintained by them the reputation he had gained for wor( of a similar genre in his drawings for %alLac&sContes Dr4lati5'es . Hhen, however, the public has had an opportunity of appreciating the admirably fantasticdrawings made by Mr. Hilliam 3trang and Mr. . %. Clar( for the present edition, they will probably admit that%aron Munchausen&s indebtedness to his illustrations, already very great, has been more than doubled.

PREFACE

TO

"<E ?IR3" E0I"I%aron Munni(houson or Munchausen, of %odenweder, near <amelyn on the Heser, belongs to the noble

family of that name, which gave to the ;ing&s German dominions the late prime minister and several other

public characters eAually bright and illustrious. <e is a man of great original humour/ and having found that pre#udiced minds cannot be reasoned into common sense, and that bold assertors are very apt to bully and spea( their audience out of it, he never argues with either of them, but adroitly turns the conversation upon indifferenttopics and then tells a story of his travels, campaigns, and sporting adventures, in a manner peculiar to himself,and well calculated to awa(en and shame the common sense of those who have lost sight of it by pre#udice or habit.

>s this method has been often attended with good success, we beg leave to lay some of his stories before the public, and humbly reAuest those who shall find them rather e!travagant and bordering upon the marvellous,which will reAuire but a very moderate share of common sense, to e!ercise the same upon every occurrence of life, and chiefly upon our English politics, in which ol( %a-its and -ol( assertions , set off by eloAuent speechesand supported by constitutional mobs, associations, volunteers, and foreign influence, have of late, weapprehend, but too successfully turned our brains, and made us the laughing)stoc( of Europe, and of ?rance and<olland in particular.

" "<E 7U%'IC<aving heard, for the first time, that my adventures have been doubted, and loo(ed upon as #o(es, I feel

bound to come forward and vindicate my character &or veracity, by paying three shillings at the Mansion <ouseof this great city for the affidavits hereto appended.

"his I have been forced into in regard of my own honour, although I have retired for many years from publicand private life/ and I hope that this, my last edition, will place me in a proper light with my readers.

>" "<E CI"$ ? ' 0 , E G'> 0.6e , the undersigned, as true believers in the *ro&it , do most solemnly affirm, that all the adventures of our

friend %aron Munchausen, in whatever country they may lie , are positive and simple facts. An( , as we have been believed, whose adventures are tenfold more wonderful, so do we hope all true believers will give himtheir full faith and credence. GU''I=ER. ! 3I %>0. ! >'>00I . ! )worn at t%e "ansion Ho'se 7t% Nov8last9 in t%e a-sence o& t%e 2or( "ayor8 < 4 t%e Porter 5.



ear the ban(s of a large piece of water, which had engaged my attention, I thought I heard a rustling noise behind/ on turning about I was almost petrified 4as who would not beS5 at the sight of a lion, which wasevidently approaching with the intention of satisfying his appetite with my poor carcase, and that withoutas(ing my consent. Hhat was to be done in this horrible dilemmaS I had not even a moment for reflection/ my

piece was only charged with swan)shot, and I had no other about me1 however, though I could have no idea of (illing such an animal with that wea( (ind of ammunition, yet I had some hopes of frightening him by thereport, and perhaps of wounding him also. I immediately let fly, without waiting till he was within reach, andthe report did but enrage him, for he now Auic(ened his pace, and seemed to approach me full speed1 I

attempted to escape, but that only added 4if an addition could be made5 to my distress/ for the moment I turnedabout I found a large crocodile, with his mouth e!tended almost ready to receive me. n my right hand was the piece of water before mentioned, and on my left a deep precipice, said to have, as I have since learned, areceptacle at the bottom for venomous creatures/ in short I gave myself up as lost, for the lion was now upon hishind)legs, #ust in the act of seiLing me/ I fell involuntarily to the ground with fear, and, as it afterwardsappeared, he sprang over me. I lay some time in a situation which no language can describe, e!pecting to feelhis teeth or talons in some part of me every moment1 after waiting in this prostrate situation a few seconds Iheard a violent but unusual noise, different from any sound that had ever before assailed my ears/ nor is it at allto be wondered at, when I inform you from whence it proceeded1 after listening for some time, I ventured toraise my head and loo( round, when, to my unspea(able #oy, I perceived the lion had, by the eagerness withwhich he sprung at me, #umped forward, as I fell, into the crocodile&s mouthP which, as before observed, waswide open/ the head of the one stuc( in the throat of the otherP and they were struggling to e!tricate themselvesPI fortunately recollected my co'tea' (e c%asse , which was by my side/ with this instrument I severed the lion&shead at one blow, and the body fell at my feetP I then, with the butt)end of my fowling)piece, rammed the headfarther into the throat of the crocodile, and destroyed him by suffocation, for he could neither gorge nor e#ect it.

3oon after I had thus gained a complete victory over my two powerful adversaries, my companion arrived insearch of me/ for finding I did not follow him into the wood, he returned, apprehending I had lost my way, or met with some accident.

>fter mutual congratulations, we measured the crocodile, which was #ust forty feet in length.>s soon as we had related this e!traordinary adventure to the governor, he sent a waggon and servants, who

brought home the two carcases. "he lion&s s(in was properly preserved, with its hair on, after which it was made

into tobacco)pouches, and presented by me, upon our return to <olland, to the burgomasters, who, in return,reAuested my acceptance of a thousand ducats.

"he s(in of the crocodile was stuffed in the usual manner, and ma(es a capital article in their public museumat >msterdam, where the e!hibitor relates the whole story to each spectator, with such additions as he thin(s

proper. 3ome of his variations are rather e!travagant/ one of them is, that the lion #umped Auite through thecrocodile, and was ma(ing his escape at the bac( door, when, as soon as his head appeared, Monsieur the Great%aron 4as he is pleased to call me5 cut it off, and three feet of the crocodile&s tail along with it/ nay, so littleattention has this fellow to the truth, that he sometimes adds, as soon as the crocodile missed his tail, he turnedabout, snatched the co'tea' (e c%asse out of Monsieur&s hand, and swallowed it with such eagerness that it

pierced his heart and (illed him immediatelyP

"he little regard which this impudent (nave has to veracity ma(es me sometimes apprehensive that my real &acts may fall under suspicion, by being found in company with his confounded inventions.

CHAPTER II

In w%ic% t%e $aron *roves %imsel& a goo( s%ot:He loses %is %orse9 an( &in(s a wol&:"a<es %im (raw %is sle(ge:Promises to entertain %is com*any wit% a relation o& s'c% &acts as are well (eserving t%eir notice8

I set off from Rome on a #ourney to Russia, in the midst of winter, from a #ust notion that frost and snowmust of course mend the roads, which every traveller had described as uncommonly bad through the northern parts of Germany, 7oland, Courland, and 'ivonia. I went on horsebac(, as the most convenient manner of travelling/ I was but lightly clothed, and of this I felt the inconvenience the more I advanced north)east. Hhatmust not a poor old man have suffered in that severe weather and climate, whom I saw on a blea( common in



7oland, lying on the road, helpless, shivering, and hardly having wherewithal to cover his na(ednessS I pitiedthe poor soul1 though I felt the severity of the air myself, I threw my mantle over him, and immediately I hearda voice from the heavens, blessing me for that piece of charity, sayingD

2$ou will be rewarded, my son, for this in time.2I went on1 night and dar(ness overtoo( me. o village was to be seen. "he country was covered with snow,

and I was unacAuainted with the road."ired, I alighted, and fastened my horse to something li(e a pointed stump of a tree, which appeared above

the snow/ for the sa(e of safety I placed my pistols under my arm, and laid down on the snow, where I slept sosoundly that I did not open my eyes till full daylight. It is not easy to conceive my astonishment to find myself in the midst of a village, lying in a churchyard/ nor was my horse to be seen, but I heard him soon after neighsomewhere above me. n loo(ing upwards I beheld him hanging by his bridle to the weather)coc( of thesteeple. Matters were now very plain to me1 the village had been covered with snow overnight/ a sudden changeof weather had ta(en place/ I had sun( down to the churchyard whilst asleep, gently, and in the same proportionas the snow had melted away/ and what in the dar( I had ta(en to be a stump of a little tree appearing above thesnow, to which I had tied my horse, proved to have been the cross or weather)coc( of the steepleP

Hithout long consideration I too( one of my pistols, shot the bridle in two, brought the horse, and proceededon my #ourney. Q<ere the %aron seems to have forgot his feelings/ he should certainly have ordered his horse afeed of corn, after fasting so long.

<e carried me wellDadvancing into the interior parts of Russia. I found travelling on horsebac( rather unfashionable in winter, therefore I submitted, as I always do, to the custom of the country, too( a single horsesledge, and drove bris(ly towards 3t. 7etersburg. I do not e!actly recollect whether it was in Eastland or ugemanland, but I remember that in the midst of a dreary forest I spied a terrible wolf ma(ing after me, withall the speed of ravenous winter hunger. <e soon overtoo( me. "here was no possibility of escape.Mechanically I laid myself down flat in the sledge, and let my horse run for our safety. Hhat I wished, buthardly hoped or e!pected, happened immediately after. "he wolf did not mind me in the least, but too( a leapover me, and falling furiously on the horse, began instantly to tear and devour the hind)part of the poor animal,which ran the faster for his pain and terror. "hus unnoticed and safe myself, I lifted my head slyly up, and withhorror I beheld that the wolf had ate his way into the horse&s body/ it was not long before he had fairly forcedhimself into it, when I too( my advantage, and fell upon him with the butt)end of my whip. "his une!pectedattac( in his rear frightened him so much, that he leaped forward with all his might1 the horse&s carcase droppedon the ground, but in his place the wolf was in the harness, and I on my part whipping him continually1 we botharrived in full career safe at 3t. 7etersburg, contrary to our respective e!pectations, and very much to theastonishment of the spectators.

I shall not tire you, gentlemen, with the politics, arts, sciences, and history of this magnificent metropolis of Russia, nor trouble you with the various intrigues and pleasant adventures I had in the politer circles of thatcountry, where the lady of the house always receives the visitor with a dram and a salute. I shall confine myself rather to the greater and nobler ob#ects of your attention, horses and dogs, my favourites in the brute creation/also to fo!es, wolves, and bears, with which, and game in general, Russia abounds more than any other part of the world/ and to such sports, manly e!ercises, and feats of gallantry and activity, as show the gentleman better

than musty Gree( or 'atin, or all the perfume, finery, and capers of ?rench wits or *etit=ma>tres.

CHAPTER III

An enco'nter -etween t%e $aron!s nose an( a (oor=*ost9 wit% its won(er&'l e&&ects:Fi&ty -race o& ('c<s an( ot%er &owl (estroye( -y one s%ot:Flogs a &o0 o't o& %is s<in:2ea(s an ol( sow %ome in a new way9 an( van5'is%es a wil( -oar8

It was some time before I could obtain a commission in the army, and for several months I was perfectly atliberty to sport away my time and money in the most gentleman)li(e manner. $ou may easily imagine that Ispent much of both out of town with such gallant fellows as (new how to ma(e the most of an open forestcountry. "he very recollection of those amusements gives me fresh spirits, and creates a warm wish for a



repetition of them. ne morning I saw, through the windows of my bed)room, that a large pond not far off wascovered with wild duc(s. In an instant I too( my gun from the corner, ran down)stairs and out of the house insuch a hurry, that I imprudently struc( my face against the door)post. ?ire flew out of my eyes, but it did not

prevent my intention/ I soon came within shot, when, levelling my piece, I observed to my sorrow, that even theflint had sprung from the coc( by the violence of the shoc( I had #ust received. "here was no time to be lost. I

presently remembered the effect it had on my eyes, therefore opened the pan, levelled my piece against the wildfowls, and my fist against one of my eyes. Q"he %aron&s eyes have retained fire ever since, and appear

particularly illuminated when he relates this anecdote. > hearty blow drew spar(s again/ the shot went off, and

I (illed fifty brace of duc(s, twenty widgeons, and three couple of teals. 7resence of mind is the soul of manlye!ercises. If soldiers and sailors owe to it many of their luc(y escapes, hunters and sportsmen are not less beholden to it for many of their successes. In a noble forest in Russia I met a fine blac( fo!, whose valuables(in it would have been a pity to tear by ball or shot. Reynard stood close to a tree. In a twin(ling I too( out my

ball, and placed a good spi(e)nail in its room, fired, and hit him so cleverly that I nailed his brush fast to thetree. I now went up to him, too( out my hanger, gave him a cross)cut over the face, laid hold of my whip, andfairly flogged him out of his fine s(in.

Chance and good luc( often correct our mista(es/ of this I had a singular instance soon after, when, in thedepth of a forest, I saw a wild pig and sow running close behind each other. My ball had missed them, yet theforemost pig only ran away, and the sow stood motionless, as fi!ed to the ground. n e!amining into thematter, I found the latter one to be an old sow, blind with age, which had ta(en hold of her pig&s tail, in order to

be led along by filial duty. My ball, having passed between the two, had cut his leading)string, which the oldsow continued to hold in her mouth/ and as her former guide did not draw her on any longer, she had stopped of course/ I therefore laid hold of the remaining end of the pig&s tail, and led the old beast home without anyfurther trouble on my part, and without any reluctance or apprehension on the part of the helpless old animal.

"errible as these wild sows are, yet more fierce and dangerous are the boars, one of which I had once themisfortune to meet in a forest, unprepared for attac( or defence. I retired behind an oa()tree #ust when thefurious animal levelled a side)blow at me, with such force, that his tus(s pierced through the tree, by whichmeans he could neither repeat the blow nor retire. <o, hoP thought I, I shall soon have you nowP andimmediately I laid hold of a stone, wherewith I hammered and bent his tus(s in such a manner, that he could notretreat by any means, and must wait my return from the ne!t village, whither I went for ropes and a cart, to

secure him properly, and to carry him off safe and alive, in which I perfectly succeeded.

CHAPTER IV

Re&lections on )aint H'-ert!s stag:)%oots a stag wit% c%erry=stones; t%e won(er&'l e&&ects o& it:?ills a-ear -y e0traor(inary (e0terity; %is (anger *at%etically (escri-e(:Attac<e( -y a wol&9 w%ic% %e t'rns insi(eo't:Is assaile( -y a ma( (og9 &rom w%ic% %e esca*es:T%e $aron!s cloa< sei#e( wit% ma(ness9 -y w%ic% %is

w%ole war(ro-e is t%rown into con&'sion8 $ou have heard, I dare say, of the hunter and sportsman&s saint and protector, 3t. <ubert, and of the noble

stag, which appeared to him in the forest, with the holy cross between his antlers. I have paid my homage tothat saint every year in good fellowship, and seen this stag a thousand times, either painted in churches, or embroidered in the stars of his (nights/ so that, upon the honour and conscience of a good sportsman, I hardly(now whether there may not have been formerly, or whether there are not such crossed stags even at this

present day. %ut let me rather tell what I have seen myself. <aving one day spent all my shot, I found myself une!pectedly in presence of a stately stag, loo(ing at me as unconcernedly as if he had (nown of my empty

pouches. I charged immediately with powder, and upon it a good handful of cherry)stones, for I had suc(ed thefruit as far as the hurry would permit. "hus I let fly at him, and hit him #ust on the middle of the forehead,

between his antlers/ it stunned himDhe staggeredDyet he made off. > year or two after, being with a party inthe same forest, I beheld a noble stag with a fine full grown cherry)tree above ten feet high between his antlers.I immediately recollected my former adventure, loo(ed upon him as my property, and brought him to theground by one shot, which at once gave me the haunch and cherry)sauce/ for the tree was covered with therichest fruit, the li(e I had never tasted before. Hho (nows but some passionate holy sportsman, or sporting



abbot or bishop, may have shot, planted, and fi!ed the cross between the antlers of 3t. <ubert&s stag, in amanner similar to thisS "hey always have been, and still are, famous for plantations of crosses and antlers/ andin a case of distress or dilemma, which too often happens to (een sportsmen, one is apt to grasp at anything for safety, and to try any e!pedient rather than miss the favourable opportunity. I have many times found myself inthat trying situation.

Hhat do you say of this, for e!ampleS 0aylight and powder were spent one day in a 7olish forest. Hhen Iwas going home a terrible bear made up to me in great speed, with open mouth, ready to fall upon me/ all my

poc(ets were searched in an instant for powder and ball, but in vain/ I found nothing but two spare flints1 one I

flung with all my might into the monster&s open #aws, down his throat. It gave him pain and made him turnabout, so that I could level the second at his bac()door, which, indeed, I did with wonderful success/ for it flewin, met the first flint in the stomach, struc( fire, and blew up the bear with a terrible e!plosion. "hough I camesafe off that time, yet I should not wish to try it again, or venture against bears with no other ammunition.

"here is a (ind of fatality in it. "he fiercest and most dangerous animals generally came upon me whendefenceless, as if they had a notion or an instinctive intimation of it. "hus a frightful wolf rushed upon me sosuddenly, and so close, that I could do nothing but follow mechanical instinct, and thrust my fist into his openmouth. ?or safety&s sa(e I pushed on and on, till my arm was fairly in up to the shoulder. <ow should Idisengage myselfS I was not much pleased with my aw(ward situationDwith a wolf face to face/ our oglingwas not of the most pleasant (ind. If I withdrew my arm, then the animal would fly the more furiously uponme/ that I saw in his flaming eyes. In short, I laid hold of his tail, turned him inside out li(e a glove, and flunghim to the ground, where I left him.

"he same e!pedient would not have answered against a mad dog, which soon after came running against mein a narrow street at 3t. 7etersburg. Run who can, I thought/ and to do this the better, I threw off my fur cloa(,and was safe within doors in an instant. I sent my servant for the cloa(, and he put it in the wardrobe with myother clothes. "he day after I was amaLed and frightened by ac(&s bawling, 2?or God&s sa(e, sir, your fur cloa( is madP2 I hastened up to him, and found almost all my clothes tossed about and torn to pieces. "he fellow was

perfectly right in his apprehensions about the fur cloa(&s madness. I saw him myself #ust then falling upon a finefull)dress suit, which he shoo( and tossed in an unmerciful manner.

CHAPTER V

T%e e&&ects o& great activity an( *resence o& min(:A &avo'rite %o'n( (escri-e(9 w%ic% *'*s w%ile *'rs'ing a %are; t%e %are also litters w%ile *'rs'e( -y t%e %o'n(:Presente( wit% a &amo's %orse -y Co'nt Pr#o-oss<y9wit% w%ic% %e *er&orms many e0traor(inary &eats8

>ll these narrow and luc(y escapes, gentlemen, were chances turned to advantage by presence of mind andvigorous e!ertions, which, ta(en together, as everybody (nows, ma(e the fortunate sportsman, sailor, andsoldier/ but he would be a very blamable and imprudent sportsman, admiral, or general, who would alwaysdepend upon chance and his stars, without troubling himself about those arts which are their particular pursuits,and without providing the very best implements, which insure success. I was not blamable either way/ for Ihave always been as remar(able for the e!cellency of my horses, dogs, guns, and swords, as for the proper manner of using and managing them, so that upon the whole I may hope to be remembered in the forest, uponthe turf, and in the field. I shall not enter here into any detail of my stables, (ennel, or armoury/ but a favourite

bitch of mine I cannot help mentioning to you/ she was a greyhound, and I never had or saw a better. 3he grewold in my service, and was not remar(able for her siLe, but rather for her uncommon swiftness. I alwayscoursed with her. <ad you seen her you must have admired her, and would not have wondered at my

predilection, and at my coursing her so much. 3he ran so fast, so much, and so long in my service, that sheactually ran off her legs/ so that, in the latter part of her life, I was under the necessity of wor(ing and using her only as a terrier, in which Auality she still served me many years.

Coursing one day a hare, which appeared to me uncommonly big, I pitied my poor bitch, being big with pups, yet she would course as fast as ever. I could follow her on horsebac( only at a great distance. >t once Iheard a cry as it were of a pac( of houndsDbut so wea( and faint that I hardly (new what to ma(e of it.Coming up to them, I was greatly surprised. "he hare had littered in running/ the same had happened to my



bitch in coursing, and there were #ust as many leverets as pups. %y instinct the former ran, the latter coursed1and thus I found myself in possession at once of si! hares, and as many dogs, at the end of a course which hadonly begun with one.

I remember this, my wonderful bitch, with the same pleasure and tenderness as a superb 'ithuanian horse,which no money could have bought. <e became mine by an accident, which gave me an opportunity of showing my horsemanship to a great advantage. I was at Count 7rLoboss(y&s noble country)seat in 'ithuania,and remained with the ladies at tea in the drawing)room, while the gentlemen were down in the yard, to see ayoung horse of blood which had #ust arrived from the stud. He suddenly heard a noise of distress/ I hastened

down)stairs, and found the horse so unruly, that nobody durst approach or mount him. "he most resolutehorsemen stood dismayed and aghast/ despondency was e!pressed in every countenance, when, in one leap, Iwas on his bac(, too( him by surprise, and wor(ed him Auite into gentleness and obedience with the bestdisplay of horsemanship I was master of. ?ully to show this to the ladies, and save them unnecessary trouble, Iforced him to leap in at one of the open windows of the tea)room, wal(ed round several times, pace, trot, andgallop, and at last made him mount the tea)table, there to repeat his lessons in a pretty style of miniature whichwas e!ceedingly pleasing to the ladies, for he performed them amaLingly well, and did not brea( either cup or saucer. It placed me so high in their opinion, and so well in that of the noble lord, that, with his usual politeness,he begged I would accept of this young horse, and ride him full career to conAuest and honour in the campaignagainst the "ur(s, which was soon to be opened, under the command of Count Munich.

I could not indeed have received a more agreeable present, nor a more ominous one at the opening of thatcampaign, in which I made my apprenticeship as a soldier. > horse so gentle, so spirited, and so fierceDat oncea lamb and a %ucephalus, put me always in mind of the soldier&s and the gentleman&s dutyP of young >le!ander,and of the astonishing things he performed in the field.

He too( the field, among several other reasons, it seems, with an intention to retrieve the character of theRussian arms, which had been blemished a little by CLar 7eter&s last campaign on the 7ruth/ and this we fullyaccomplished by several very fatiguing and glorious campaigns under the command of that great general Imentioned before.

Modesty forbids individuals to arrogate to themselves great successes or victories, the glory of which isgenerally engrossed by the commanderDnay, which is rather aw(ward, by (ings and Aueens who never smeltgunpowder but at the field)days and reviews of their troops/ never saw a field of battle, or an enemy in battlearray.

or do I claim any particular share of glory in the great engagements with the enemy. He all did our duty,which, in the patriot&s, soldier&s, and gentleman&s language, is a very comprehensive word, of great honour,meaning, and import, and of which the generality of idle Auidnuncs and coffee)house politicians can hardlyform any but a very mean and contemptible idea. <owever, having had the command of a body of hussars, Iwent upon several e!peditions, with discretionary powers/ and the success I then met with is, I thin(, fairly andonly to be placed to my account, and to that of the brave fellows whom I led on to conAuest and to victory. Hehad very hot wor( once in the van of the army, when we drove the "ur(s into cLa(ow. My spirited 'ithuanianhad almost brought me into a scrape1 I had an advanced fore)post, and saw the enemy coming against me in acloud of dust, which left me rather uncertain about their actual numbers and real intentions1 to wrap myself up

in a similar cloud was common prudence, but would not have much advanced my (nowledge, or answered theend for which I had been sent out/ therefore I let my flan(ers on both wings spread to the right and left andma(e what dust they could, and I myself led on straight upon the enemy, to have nearer sight of them1 in this Iwas gratified, for they stood and fought, till, for fear of my flan(ers, they began to move off rather disorderly."his was the moment to fall upon them with spirit/ we bro(e them entirelyDmade a terrible havoc amongstthem, and drove them not only bac( to a walled town in their rear, but even through it, contrary to our mostsanguine e!pectation.

"he swiftness of my 'ithuanian enabled me to be foremost in the pursuit/ and seeing the enemy fairly flyingthrough the opposite gate, I thought it would be prudent to stop in the mar(et)place, to order the men torendeLvous. I stopped, gentlemen/ but #udge of my astonishment when in this mar(et)place I saw not one of myhussars about meP >re they scouring the other streetsS or what is become of themS "hey could not be far off,and must, at all events, soon #oin me. In that e!pectation I wal(ed my panting 'ithuanian to a spring in thismar(et)place, and let him drin(. <e dran( uncommonly, with an eagerness not to be satisfied, but naturalenough/ for when I loo(ed round for my men, what should I see, gentlemenP the hind part of the poor creature

Dcroup and legs were missing, as if he had been cut in two, and the water ran out as it came in, without



refreshing or doing him any goodP <ow it could have happened was Auite a mystery to me, till I returned withhim to the town)gate. "here I saw, that when I rushed in pell)mell with the flying enemy, they had dropped the

portcullis 4a heavy falling door, with sharp spi(es at the bottom, let down suddenly to prevent the entrance of anenemy into a fortified town5 unperceived by me, which had totally cut off his hind part, that still lay Auiveringon the outside of the gate. It would have been an irreparable loss, had not our farrier contrived to bring both

parts together while hot. <e sewed them up with sprigs and young shoots of laurels that were at hand/ thewound healed, and, what could not have happened but to so glorious a horse, the sprigs too( root in his body,grew up, and formed a bower over me/ so that afterwards I could go upon many other e!peditions in the shade

of my own and my horse&s laurels.

CHAPTER VI

T%e $aron is ma(e a *risoner o& war9 an( sol( &or a slave:?ee*s t%e )'ltan!s -ees9 w%ic% are attac<e( -ytwo -ears:2oses one o& %is -ees; a silver %atc%et9 w%ic% %e t%rows at t%e -ears9 re-o'n(s an( &lies '* to t%emoon; -rings it -ac< -y an ingenio's invention; &alls to t%e eart% on %is ret'rn9 an( %el*s %imsel& o't o& a *it:

E0tricates %imsel& &rom a carriage w%ic% meets %is in a narrow roa(9 in a manner never -e&ore attem*te( nor *ractise( since:T%e won(er&'l e&&ects o& t%e &rost '*on %is servant!s Frenc% %orn8 I was not always successful. I had the misfortune to be overpowered by numbers, to be made prisoner of war/

and, what is worse, but always usual among the "ur(s, to be sold for a slave. Q"he %aron was afterwards ingreat favour with the Grand 3eignior, as will appear hereafter. In that state of humiliation my daily tas( wasnot very hard and laborious, but rather singular and ir(some. It was to drive the 3ultan&s bees every morning totheir pasture)grounds, to attend them all the day long, and against night to drive them bac( to their hives. neevening I missed a bee, and soon observed that two bears had fallen upon her to tear her to pieces for the honeyshe carried. I had nothing li(e an offensive weapon in my hands but the silver hatchet, which is the badge of the3ultan&s gardeners and farmers. I threw it at the robbers, with an intention to frighten them away, and set the

poor bee at liberty/ but, by an unluc(y turn of my arm, it flew upwards, and continued rising till it reached themoon. <ow should I recover itS how fetch it down againS I recollected that "ur(ey)beans grow very Auic(, andrun up to an astonishing height. I planted one immediately/ it grew, and actually fastened itself to one of themoon&s horns. I had no more to do now but to climb up by it into the moon, where I safely arrived, and had atroublesome piece of business before I could find my silver hatchet, in a place where everything has the

brightness of silver/ at last, however, I found it in a heap of chaff and chopped straw. I was now for returning1 but, alasP the heat of the sun had dried up my bean/ it was totally useless for my descent1 so I fell to wor(, andtwisted me a rope of that chopped straw, as long and as well as I could ma(e it. "his I fastened to one of themoon&s horns, and slid down to the end of it. <ere I held myself fast with the left hand, and with the hatchet inmy right, I cut the long, now useless end of the upper part, which, when tied to the lower end, brought me agood deal lower1 this repeated splicing and tying of the rope did not improve its Auality, or bring me down tothe 3ultan&s farm. I was four or five miles from the earth at least when it bro(e/ I fell to the ground with suchamaLing violence, that I found myself stunned, and in a hole nine fathoms deep at least, made by the weight of my body falling from so great a height1 I recovered, but (new not how to get out again/ however, I dug slopesor steps with my finger)nails Qthe %aron&s nails were then of forty years& growth , and easily accomplished it.

7eace was soon after concluded with the "ur(s, and gaining my liberty, I left 3t. 7etersburg at the time of thatsingular revolution, when the emperor in his cradle, his mother, the 0u(e of %runswic(, her father, ?ield)Marshal Munich, and many others were sent to 3iberia. "he winter was then so uncommonly severe all over Europe, that ever since the sun seems to be frost)bitten. >t my return to this place, I felt on the road greater inconveniences than those I had e!perienced on my setting out.

I travelled post, and finding myself in a narrow lane, bid the postillion give a signal with his horn, that other travellers might not meet us in the narrow passage. <e blew with all his might/ but his endeavours were in vain,he could not ma(e the horn sound, which was unaccountable, and rather unfortunate, for soon after we foundourselves in the presence of another coach coming the other way1 there was no proceeding/ however, I got outof my carriage, and being pretty strong, placed it, wheels and all, upon my head1 I then #umped over a hedgeabout nine feet high 4which, considering the weight of the coach, was rather difficult5 into a field, and came out



again by another #ump into the road beyond the other carriage1 I then went bac( for the horses, and placing oneupon my head, and the other under my left arm, by the same means brought them to my coach, put to, and

proceeded to an inn at the end of our stage. I should have told you that the horse under my arm was veryspirited, and not above four years old/ in ma(ing my second spring over the hedge, he e!pressed great disli(e tothat violent (ind of motion by (ic(ing and snorting/ however, I confined his hind legs by putting them into mycoat)poc(et. >fter we arrived at the inn my postillion and I refreshed ourselves1 he hung his horn on a peg near the (itchen fire/ I sat on the other side.

3uddenly we heard a tereng@ tereng@ teng@ teng@ He loo(ed round, and now found the reason why the

postillion had not been able to sound his horn/ his tunes were froLen up in the horn, and came out now bythawing, plain enough, and much to the credit of the driver/ so that the honest fellow entertained us for sometime with a variety of tunes, without putting his mouth to the hornD2"he ;ing of 7russia&s March,2 2 ver the<ill and over the 0ale,2 with many other favourite tunes/ at length the thawing entertainment concluded, as Ishall this short account of my Russian travels.

)ome travellers are a*t to a(vance more t%an is *er%a*s strictly tr'e; i& any o& t%e com*any entertain a(o'-t o& my veracity9 I s%all only say to s'c%9 I *ity t%eir want o& &ait%9 an( m'st re5'est t%ey will ta<e leave-e&ore I -egin t%e secon( *art o& my a(vent'res9 w%ic% are as strictly &o'n(e( in &act as t%ose I %ave alrea(yrelate(8

CHAPTER VII

T%e $aron relates %is a(vent'res on a voyage to Nort% America9 w%ic% are well wort% t%e rea(er!s attention :Pran<s o& a w%ale:A sea=g'll saves a sailor!s li&e:T%e $aron!s %ea( &orce( into %is stomac%:A (angero'slea< sto**e( *osteriori8

I embar(ed at 7ortsmouth in a first)rate English man)of)war, of one hundred guns, and fourteen hundredmen, for orth >merica. othing worth relating happened till we arrived within three hundred leagues of the

river 3t. 'aurence, when the ship struc( with amaLing force against 4as we supposed5 a roc(/ however, uponheaving the lead we could find no bottom, even with three hundred fathom. Hhat made this circumstance themore wonderful, and indeed beyond all comprehension, was, that the violence of the shoc( was such that welost our rudder, bro(e our bowsprit in the middle, and split all our masts from top to bottom, two of which went

by the board/ a poor fellow, who was aloft furling the mainsheet, was flung at least three leagues from the ship/ but he fortunately saved his life by laying hold of the tail of a large sea)gull, who brought him bac(, and lodgedhim on the very spot from whence he was thrown. >nother proof of the violence of the shoc( was the force withwhich the people between dec(s were driven against the floors above them/ my head particularly was pressedinto my stomach, where it continued some months before it recovered its natural situation. Hhilst we were allin a state of astonishment at the general and unaccountable confusion in which we were involved, the wholewas suddenly e!plained by the appearance of a large whale, who had been bas(ing, asleep, within si!teen feet

of the surface of the water. "his animal was so much displeased with the disturbance which our ship had givenhimDfor in our passage we had with our rudder scratched his noseDthat he beat in all the gallery and part of the Auarter)dec( with his tail, and almost at the same instant too( the mainsheet anchor, which was suspended,as it usually is, from the head, between his teeth, and ran away with the ship, at least si!ty leagues, at the rate of twelve leagues an hour, when fortunately the cable bro(e, and we lost both the whale and the anchor. <owever,upon our return to Europe, some months after, we found the same whale within a few leagues of the same spot,floating dead upon the water/ it measured above half a mile in length. >s we could ta(e but a small Auantity of such a monstrous animal on board, we got our boats out, and with much difficulty cut off his head, where, toour great #oy, we found the anchor, and above forty fathom of the cable, concealed on the left side of his mouth,

#ust under his tongue. Q7erhaps this was the cause of his death, as that side of his tongue was much swelled,with a great degree of inflammation. "his was the only e!traordinary circumstance that happened on thisvoyage. ne part of our distress, however, I had li(e to have forgot1 while the whale was running away with theship she sprung a lea(, and the water poured in so fast, that all our pumps could not (eep us from sin(ing/ itwas, however, my good fortune to discover it first. I found it a large hole about a foot diameter/ you willnaturally suppose this circumstance gives me infinite pleasure, when I inform you that this noble vessel was



preserved, with all its crew, by a most fortunate thoughtP in short, I sat down over it, and could have dispensedwith it had it been larger/ nor will you be surprised when I inform you I am descended from 0utch parents.Q"he %aron&s ancestors have but lately settled there/ in another part of his adventures he boasts of royal blood.

My situation, while I sat there, was rather cool, but the carpenter&s art soon relieved me.

CHAPTER VIII

$at%es in t%e "e(iterranean:"eets an 'ne0*ecte( com*anion:Arrives 'nintentionally in t%e regions o& %eat an( (ar<ness9 &rom w%ic% %e is e0tricate( -y (ancing a %orn*i*e:Frig%tens %is (eliverers9 an( ret'rns on

s%ore8 I was once in great danger of being lost in a most singular manner in the Mediterranean1 I was bathing in that

pleasant sea near Marseilles one summer&s afternoon, when I discovered a very large fish, with his #aws Auitee!tended, approaching me with the greatest velocity/ there was no time to be lost, nor could I possibly avoidhim. I immediately reduced myself to as small a siLe as possible, by closing my feet and placing my hands alsonear my sides, in which position I passed directly between his #aws, and into his stomach, where I remainedsome time in total dar(ness, and comfortably warm, as you may imagine/ at last it occurred to me, that bygiving him pain he would be glad to get rid of me1 as I had plenty of room, I played my pran(s, such astumbling, hop, step, and #ump, Tc., but nothing seemed to disturb him so much as the Auic( motion of my feetin attempting to dance a hornpipe/ soon after I began he put me out by sudden fits and starts1 I persevered/ atlast he roared horridly, and stood up almost perpendicularly in the water, with his head and shoulders e!posed,

by which he was discovered by the people on board an Italian trader, then sailing by, who harpooned him in afew minutes. >s soon as he was brought on board I heard the crew consulting how they should cut him up, so asto preserve the greatest Auantity of oil. >s I understood Italian, I was in most dreadful apprehensions lest their weapons employed in this business should destroy me also/ therefore I stood as near the centre as possible, for there was room enough for a doLen men in this creature&s stomach, and I naturally imagined they would beginwith the e!tremities/ however, my fears were soon dispersed, for they began by opening the bottom of the belly.>s soon as I perceived a glimmering of light I called out lustily to be released from a situation in which I wasnow almost suffocated. It is impossible for me to do #ustice to the degree and (ind of astonishment which satupon every countenance at hearing a human voice issue from a fish, but more so at seeing a na(ed man wal( upright out of his body/ in short, gentlemen, I told them the whole story, as I have done you, whilst amaLementstruc( them dumb.

>fter ta(ing some refreshment, and #umping into the sea to cleanse myself, I swam to my clothes, which laywhere I had left them on the shore. >s near as I can calculate, I was near four hours and a half confined in thestomach of this animal.

CHAPTER I)

A(vent'res in T'r<ey9 an( '*on t%e river Nile:)ees a -alloon over Constantino*le; s%oots at9 an( -rings it (own; &in(s a Frenc% e0*erimental *%iloso*%er s's*en(e( &rom it: oes on an em-assy to ran( Cairo9 an( ret'rns '*on t%e Nile9 w%ere %e is t%rown into an 'ne0*ecte( sit'ation9 an( (etaine( si0 wee<s8

Hhen I was in the service of the "ur(s I freAuently amused myself in a pleasure)barge on the Marmora,which commands a view of the whole city of Constantinople, including the Grand 3eignior&s 3eraglio. nemorning, as I was admiring the beauty and serenity of the s(y, I observed a globular substance in the air, whichappeared to be about the siLe of a twelve)inch globe, with somewhat suspended from it. I immediately too( upmy largest and longest barrel fowling)piece, which I never travel or ma(e even an e!cursion without, if I canhelp it/ I charged with a ball, and fired at the globe, but to no purpose, the ob#ect being at too great a distance. Ithen put in a double Auantity of powder, and five or si! balls1 this second attempt succeeded/ all the balls too(



effect, and tore one side open, and brought it down. udge my surprise when a most elegant gilt car, with a manin it, and part of a sheep which seemed to have been roasted, fell within two yards of me. Hhen myastonishment had in some degree subsided, I ordered my people to row close to this strange a rial traveller.

I too( him on board my barge 4he was a native of ?rance51 he was much indisposed from his sudden fall intothe sea, and incapable of spea(ing/ after some time, however, he recovered, and gave the following account of himself, viL.1 2>bout seven or eight days since, I cannot tell which, for I have lost my rec(oning, having beenmost of the time where the sun never sets, I ascended from the 'and&s End in Cornwall, in the island of Great%ritain, in the car from which I have been #ust ta(en, suspended from a very large balloon, and too( a sheep

with me to try atmospheric e!periments upon1 unfortunately, the wind changed within ten minutes after myascent, and instead of driving towards E!eter, where I intended to land, I was driven towards the sea, over which I suppose I have continued ever since, but much too high to ma(e observations.

2"he calls of hunger were so pressing, that the intended e!periments upon heat and respiration gave way tothem. I was obliged, on the third day, to (ill the sheep for food/ and being at that time infinitely above themoon, and for upwards of si!teen hours after so very near the sun that it scorched my eyebrows, I placed thecarcase, ta(ing care to s(in it first, in that part of the car where the sun had sufficient power, or, in other words,where the balloon did not shade it from the sun, by which method it was well roasted in about two hours. "hishas been my food ever since.2 <ere he paused, and seemed lost in viewing the ob#ects about him. Hhen I toldhim the buildings before us were the Grand 3eignior&s 3eraglio at Constantinople, he seemed e!ceedinglyaffected, as he had supposed himself in a very different situation. 2"he cause,2 added he, 2of my long flight,was owing to the failure of a string which was fi!ed to a valve in the balloon, intended to let out theinflammable air/ and if it had not been fired at, and rent in the manner before mentioned, I might, li(eMahomet, have been suspended between heaven and earth till doomsday.2

"he Grand 3eignior, to whom I was introduced by the Imperial, Russian, and ?rench ambassadors, employedme to negotiate a matter of great importance at Grand Cairo, and which was of such a nature that it must ever remain a secret.

I went there in great state by land/ where, having completed the business, I dismissed almost all myattendants, and returned li(e a private gentleman/ the weather was delightful, and that famous river the ile was

beautiful beyond all description/ in short, I was tempted to hire a barge to descend by water to >le!andria. nthe third day of my voyage the river began to rise most amaLingly 4you have all heard, I presume, of the annualoverflowing of the ile5, and on the ne!t day it spread the whole country for many leagues on each sideP n thefifth, at sunrise, my barge became entangled with what I at first too( for shrubs, but as the light becamestronger I found myself surrounded by almonds, which were perfectly ripe, and in the highest perfection. Upon

plumbing with a line my people found we were at least si!ty feet from the ground, and unable to advance or retreat. >t about eight or nine o&cloc(, as near as I could #udge by the altitude of the sun, the wind rose suddenly,and canted our barge on one side1 here she filled, and I saw no more of her for some time. ?ortunately we allsaved ourselves 4si! men and two boys5 by clinging to the tree, the boughs of which were eAual to our weight,though not to that of the barge1 in this situation we continued si! wee(s and three days, living upon thealmonds/ I need not inform you we had plenty of water. n the forty)second day of our distress the water fell asrapidly as it had risen, and on the forty)si!th we were able to venture down upon terra &irma. ur barge was thefirst pleasing ob#ect we saw, about two hundred yards from the spot where she sun(. >fter drying everythingthat was useful by the heat of the sun, and loading ourselves with necessaries from the stores on board, we setout to recover our lost ground, and found, by the nearest calculation, we had been carried over garden)walls,and a variety of enclosures, above one hundred and fifty miles. In four days, after a very tiresome #ourney onfoot, with thin shoes, we reached the river, which was now confined to its ban(s, related our adventures to a

boy, who (indly accommodated all our wants, and sent us forward in a barge of his own. In si! days more wearrived at >le!andria, where we too( shipping for Constantinople. I was received (indly by the Grand 3eignior,and had the honour of seeing the 3eraglio, to which his highness introduced me himself.

CHAPTER )



Pays a visit ('ring t%e siege o& i-raltar to %is ol( &rien( eneral Elliot:)in<s a )*anis% man=o&=war: 6a<es an ol( woman on t%e A&rican coast:Destroys all t%e enemy!s cannon; &rig%tens t%e Co'nt (!Artois9 an(

sen(s %im to Paris:)aves t%e lives o& two Englis% s*ies wit% t%e i(entical sling t%at <ille( oliat%; an( raisest%e siege8

0uring the late siege of Gibraltar I went with a provision)fleet, under 'ord Rodney&s command, to see my oldfriend General Elliot, who has, by his distinguished defence of that place, acAuired laurels that can never fade.>fter the usual #oy which generally attends the meeting of old friends had subsided, I went to e!amine the stateof the garrison, and view the operations of the enemy, for which purpose the General accompanied me. I had

brought a most e!cellent refracting telescope with me from 'ondon, purchased of 0ollond, by the help of which I found the enemy were going to discharge a thirty)si! pounder at the spot where we stood. I told theGeneral what they were about/ he loo(ed through the glass also, and found my con#ectures right. I immediately,

by his permission, ordered a forty)eight pounder to be brought from a neighbouring battery, which I placed withso much e!actness 4having long studied the art of gunnery5 that I was sure of my mar(.

I continued watching the enemy till I saw the match placed at the touch)hole of their piece/ at that veryinstant I gave the signal for our gun to be fired also.

>bout midway between the two pieces of cannon the balls struc( each other with amaLing force, and theeffect was astonishingP "he enemy&s ball recoiled bac( with such violence as to (ill the man who haddischarged it, by carrying his head fairly off, with si!teen others which it met with in its progress to the %arbary

coast, where its force, after passing through three masts of vessels that then lay in a line behind each other inthe harbour, was so much spent, that it only bro(e its way through the roof of a poor labourer&s hut, about twohundred yards inland, and destroyed a few teeth an old woman had left, who lay asleep upon her bac( with her mouth open. "he ball lodged in her throat. <er husband soon after came home, and endeavoured to e!tract it/

but finding that impracticable, by the assistance of a rammer he forced it into her stomach. ur ball dide!cellent service/ for it not only repelled the other in the manner #ust described, but, proceeding as I intended itshould, it dismounted the very piece of cannon that had #ust been employed against us, and forced it into thehold of the ship, where it fell with so much force as to brea( its way through the bottom. "he ship immediatelyfilled and san(, with above a thousand 3panish sailors on board, besides a considerable number of soldiers."his, to be sure, was a most e!traordinary e!ploit/ I will not, however, ta(e the whole merit to myself/ my

#udgment was the principal engine, but chance assisted me a little/ for I afterwards found, that the man who

charged our forty)eight pounder put in, by mista(e, a double Auantity of powder, else we could never havesucceeded so much beyond all e!pectation, especially in repelling the enemy&s ball.

General Elliot would have given me a commission for this singular piece of service/ but I declinedeverything, e!cept his than(s, which I received at a crowded table of officers at supper on the evening of thatvery day.

>s I am very partial to the English, who are beyond all doubt a brave people, I determined not to ta(e myleave of the garrison till I had rendered them another piece of service, and in about three wee(s an opportunity

presented itself. I dressed myself in the habit of a Po*is% *riest , and at about one o&cloc( in the morning stoleout of the garrison, passed the enemy&s lines, and arrived in the middle of their camp, where I entered the tent inwhich the 7rince d&>rtois was, with the commander)in)chief, and several other officers, in deep council,

concerting a plan to storm the garrison ne!t morning. My disguise was my protection/ they suffered me tocontinue there, hearing everything that passed, till they went to their several beds. Hhen I found the wholecamp, and even the sentinels, were wrapped up in the arms of Morpheus, I began my wor(, which was that of dismounting all their cannon 4above three hundred pieces5, from forty)eight to twenty)four pounders, andthrowing them three leagues into the sea. <aving no assistance, I found this the hardest tas( I ever undertoo(,e!cept swimming to the opposite shore with the famous "ur(ish piece of ordnance, described by %aron de "ottin his Memoirs, which I shall hereafter mention. I then piled all the carriages together in the centre of the camp,which, to prevent the noise of the wheels being heard, I carried in pairs under my arms/ and a noble appearancethey made, as high at least as the roc( of Gibraltar. I then lighted a match by stri(ing a flint stone, situatedtwenty feet from the ground 4in an old wall built by the Moors when they invaded 3pain5, with the breech of aniron eight)and)forty pounder, and so set fire to the whole pile. I forgot to inform you that I threw all their

ammunition)waggons upon the top.%efore I applied the lighted match I had laid the combustibles at the bottom so #udiciously, that the whole

was in a blaLe in a moment. "o prevent suspicion I was one of the first to e!press my surprise. "he whole campwas, as you may imagine, petrified with astonishment1 the general conclusion was, that their sentinels had been



bribed, and that seven or eight regiments of the garrison had been employed in this horrid destruction of their artillery. Mr. 0rin(water, in his account of this famous siege, mentions the enemy sustaining a great loss by afire which happened in their camp, but never (new the cause/ how should heS as I never divulged it before4though I alone saved Gibraltar by this night&s business5, not even to General Elliot. "he Count d&>rtois and allhis attendants ran away in their fright, and never stopped on the road till they reached 7aris, which they did inabout a fortnight/ this dreadful conflagration had such an effect upon them that they were incapable of ta(ingthe least refreshment for three months after, but, chameleon)li(e, lived upon the air.

I& any gentleman will say %e (o'-ts t%e tr't% o& t%is story9 I will &ine %im a gallon o& -ran(y an( ma<e %im

(rin< it at one (ra'g%t8 >bout two months after I had done the besieged this service, one morning, as I sat at brea(fast with General

Elliot, a shell 4for I had not time to destroy their mortars as well as their cannon5 entered the apartment we weresitting in/ it lodged upon our table1 the General, as most men would do, Auitted the room directly/ but I too( itup before it burst, and carried it to the top of the roc(, when, loo(ing over the enemy&s camp, on an eminencenear the sea)coast I observed a considerable number of people, but could not, with my na(ed eye, discover howthey were employed. I had recourse again to my telescope, when I found that two of our officers, one a general,the other a colonel, with whom I spent the preceding evening, and who went out into the enemy&s camp aboutmidnight as spies, were ta(en, and then were actually going to be e!ecuted on a gibbet. I found the distance toogreat to throw the shell with my hand, but most fortunately recollecting that I had the very sling in my poc(etwhich assisted 0avid in slaying Goliath, I placed the shell in it, and immediately threw it in the midst of them1it burst as it fell, and destroyed all present, e!cept the two culprits, who were saved by being suspended so high,for they were #ust turned off1 however, one of the pieces of the shell fled with such force against the foot of thegibbet, that it immediately brought it down. ur two friends no sooner felt terra &irma than they loo(ed aboutfor the cause/ and finding their guards, e!ecutioner, and all, had ta(en it in their heads to die first, they directlye!tricated each other from their disgraceful cords, and then ran down to the sea)shore, seiLed a 3panish boatwith two men in it, and made them row to one of our ships, which they did with great safety, and in a fewminutes after, when I was relating to General Elliot how I had acted, they both too( us by the hand, and after mutual congratulations we retired to spend the day with festivity.

CHAPTER )I

An interesting acco'nt o& t%e $aron!s ancestors:A 5'arrel relative to t%e s*ot w%ere Noa% -'ilt %is ar<: T%e %istory o& t%e sling9 an( its *ro*erties:A &avo'rite *oet intro('ce( '*on no very re*'ta-le occasion: 5'een Eli#a-et%!s a-stinence:T%e $aron!s &at%er crosses &rom Englan( to Hollan( '*on a marine %orse9 w%ic%%e sells &or seven %'n(re( ('cats8

$ou wish 4I can see by your countenances5 I would inform you how I became possessed of such a treasure asthe sling #ust mentioned. 4<ere facts must be held sacred.5 "hus then it was1 I am a descendant of the wife of

Uriah, whom we all (now 0avid was intimate with/ she had several children by his ma#esty/ they Auarrelledonce upon a matter of the first conseAuence, viL., the spot where oah&s ar( was built, and where it rested after the flood. > separation conseAuently ensued. 3he had often heard him spea( of this sling as his most valuabletreasure1 this she stole the night they parted/ it was missed before she got out of his dominions, and she was

pursued by no less than si! of the (ing&s body)guards1 however, by using it herself she hit the first of them 4for one was more active in the pursuit than the rest5 where 0avid did Goliath, and (illed him on the spot. <iscompanions were so alarmed at his fall that they retired, and left Uriah&s wife to pursue her #ourney. 3he too( with her, I should have informed you before, her favourite son by this connection, to whom she beAueathed thesling/ and thus it has, without interruption, descended from father to son till it came into my possession. ne of its possessors, my great)great)great)grandfather, who lived about two hundred and fifty years ago, was upon avisit to England, and became intimate with a poet who was a great deer)stealer/ I thin( his name was3ha(espeare1 he freAuently borrowed this sling, and with it (illed so much of 3ir "homas 'ucy&s venison, thathe narrowly escaped the fate of my two friends at Gibraltar. 7oor 3ha(espeare was imprisoned, and my ancestor obtained his freedom in a very singular manner. Kueen EliLabeth was then on the throne, but grown so indolent,that every trifling matter was a trouble to her/ dressing, undressing, eating, drin(ing, and some other offices



which shall be nameless, made life a burden to her/ all these things he enabled her to do without, or by adeputyP and what do you thin( was the only return she could prevail upon him to accept for such eminentservicesS setting 3ha(espeare at libertyP 3uch was his affection for that famous writer, that he would haveshortened his own days to add to the number of his friend&s.

I do not hear that any of the Aueen&s sub#ects, particularly the -ee&=eaters, as they are vulgarly called to thisday, however they might be struc( with the novelty at the time, much approved of her living totally withoutfood. 3he did not survive the practice herself above seven years and a half.

My father, who was the immediate possessor of this sling before me, told me the following anecdote1D<e was wal(ing by the sea)shore at <arwich, with this sling in his poc(et/ before his paces had covered a

mile he was attac(ed by a fierce animal called a seahorse, open)mouthed, who ran at him with great fury/ hehesitated a moment, then too( out his sling, retreated bac( about a hundred yards, stooped for a couple of

pebbles, of which there were plenty under his feet, and slung them both so de!terously at the animal, that eachstone put out an eye, and lodged in the cavities which their removal had occasioned. <e now got upon his bac(,and drove him into the sea/ for the moment he lost his sight he lost also ferocity, and became as tame as

possible1 the sling was placed as a bridle in his mouth/ he was guided with the greatest facility across the ocean,and in less than three hours they both arrived on the opposite shore, which is about thirty leagues. "he master of the T%ree C'*s , at <elvoetsluys, in <olland, purchased this marine horse, to ma(e an e!hibition of, for sevenhundred ducats, which was upwards of three hundred pounds, and the ne!t day my father paid his passage bac(

in the pac(et to <arwich. :"y &at%er ma(e several c'rio's o-servations in t%is *assage9 w%ic% I will relate %erea&ter8

CHAPTER )II

T%e &rolic; its conse5'ences:6in(sor Castle:)t8 Pa'l!s:College o& P%ysicians:Un(erta<ers9 se0tons9Bc89 almost r'ine(:In('stry o& t%e a*ot%ecaries8

"<E ?R 'IC."his famous sling ma(es the possessor eAual to any tas( he is desirous of performing.I made a balloon of such e!tensive dimensions, that an account of the sil( it contained would e!ceed all

credibility/ every mercer&s shop and weaver&s stoc( in 'ondon, Hestminster, and 3pitalfields contributed to it1with this balloon and my sling I played many tric(s, such as ta(ing one house from its station, and placinganother in its stead, without disturbing the inhabitants, who were generally asleep, or too much employed toobserve the peregrinations of their habitations. Hhen the sentinel at Hindsor Castle heard 3t. 7aul&s cloc( stri(ethirteen, it was through my de!terity/ I brought the buildings nearly together that night, by placing the castle in3t. George&s ?ields, and carried it bac( again before daylight, without wa(ing any of the inhabitants/notwithstanding these e!ploits, I should have (ept my balloon, and its properties a secret, if Montgolfier had not

made the art of flying so public.n the 9th of 3eptember, when the College of 7hysicians chose their annual officers, and dined

sumptuously together, I filled my balloon, brought it over the dome of their building, clapped the sling roundthe golden ball at the top, fastening the other end of it to the balloon, and immediately ascended with the wholecollege to an immense height, where I (ept them upwards of three months. $ou will naturally inAuire what theydid for food such a length of timeS "o this I answer, <ad I (ept them suspended twice the time, they would havee!perienced no inconvenience on that account, so amply, or rather e!travagantly, had they spread their table for that day&s feasting.

"hough this was meant as an innocent frolic, it was productive of much mischief to several respectablecharacters amongst the clergy, underta(ers, se!tons, and grave)diggers1 they were, it must be ac(nowledged,sufferers/ for it is a well)(nown fact, that during the three months the college was suspended in the air, andtherefore incapable of attending their patients, no deaths happened, e!cept a few who fell before the scythe of ?ather "ime, and some melancholy ob#ects who, perhaps to avoid some trifling inconvenience here, laid thehands of violence upon themselves, and plunged into misery infinitely greater than that which they hoped bysuch a rash step to avoid, without a moment&s consideration.



If the apothecaries had not been very active during the above time, half the underta(ers in all probabilitywould have been ban(rupts.

CHAPTER )III

A TRIP TO THE NORTH

T%e $aron sails wit% Ca*tain P%i**s9 attac<s two large -ears9 an( %as a very narrow esca*e: ains t%econ&i(ence o& t%ese animals9 an( t%en (estroys t%o'san(s o& t%em; loa(s t%e s%i* wit% t%eir %ams an( s<ins;ma<es *resents o& t%e &ormer9 an( o-tains a general invitation to all city &easts:A (is*'te -etween t%e Ca*tainan( t%e $aron9 in w%ic%9 &rom motives o& *oliteness9 t%e Ca*tain is s'&&ere( to gain %is *oint:T%e $aron(eclines t%e o&&er o& a t%rone9 an( an em*ress into t%e -argain8

He all remember Captain 7hipps&s 4now 'ord Mulgrave5 last voyage of discovery to the north. Iaccompanied the captain, not as an officer, but as a private friend. Hhen we arrived in a high northern latitude Iwas viewing the ob#ects around me with the telescope which I introduced to your notice in my Gibraltar adventures. I thought I saw two large white bears in violent action upon a body of ice considerably above themasts, and about half a league distance. I immediately too( my carbine, slung it across my shoulder, andascended the ice. Hhen I arrived at the top, the unevenness of the surface made my approach to those animalstroublesome and haLardous beyond e!pression1 sometimes hideous cavities opposed me, which I was obliged tospring over/ in other parts the surface was as smooth as a mirror, and I was continually falling1 as I approachednear enough to reach them, I found they were only at play. I immediately began to calculate the value of their s(ins, for they were each as large as a well)fed o!1 unfortunately, at the very instant I was presenting mycarbine my right foot slipped, I fell upon my bac(, and the violence of the blow deprived me totally of mysenses for nearly half an hour/ however, when I recovered, #udge of my surprise at finding one of those largeanimals I have been #ust describing had turned me upon my face, and was #ust laying hold of the waistband of my breeches, which were then new and made of leather1 he was certainly going to carry me feet foremost, God(nows where, when I too( this (nife 4showing a large clasp (nife5 out of my side)poc(et, made a chop at one of his hind feet, and cut off three of his toes/ he immediately let me drop and roared most horribly. I too( up mycarbine and fired at him as he ran off/ he fell directly. "he noise of the piece roused several thousand of thesewhite bears, who were asleep upon the ice within half a mile of me/ they came immediately to the spot. "herewas no time to be lost. > most fortunate thought arrived in my pericranium #ust at that instant. I too( off thes(in and head of the dead bear in half the time that some people would be in s(inning a rabbit, and wrappedmyself in it, placing my own head directly under %ruin&s/ the whole herd came round me immediately, and myapprehensions threw me into a most piteous situation to be sure1 however, my scheme turned out a mostadmirable one for my own safety. "hey all came smelling, and evidently too( me for a brother %ruin/ I wantednothing but bul( to ma(e an e!cellent counterfeit1 however, I saw several cubs amongst them not much larger

than myself. >fter they had all smelt me, and the body of their deceased companion, whose s(in was now become my protector, we seemed very sociable, and I found I could mimic all their actions tolerably well/ but atgrowling, roaring, and hugging they were Auite my masters. I began now to thin( that I might turn the generalconfidence which I had created amongst these animals to my advantage.

I had heard an old army surgeon say a wound in the spine was instant death. I now determined to try thee!periment, and had again recourse to my (nife, with which I struc( the largest in the bac( of the nec(, near theshoulders, but under great apprehensions, not doubting but the creature would, if he survived the stab, tear meto pieces. <owever, I was remar(ably fortunate, for he fell dead at my feet without ma(ing the least noise. Iwas now resolved to demolish them every one in the same manner, which I accomplished without the leastdifficulty/ for although they saw their companions fall, they had no suspicion of either the cause or the effect.Hhen they all lay dead before me, I felt myself a second 3amson, having slain my thousands.

"o ma(e short of the story, I went bac( to the ship, and borrowed three parts of the crew to assist me ins(inning them, and carrying the hams on board, which we did in a few hours, and loaded the ship with them. >sto the other parts of the animals, they were thrown into the sea, though I doubt not but the whole would eat aswell as the legs, were they properly cured.



>s soon as we returned I sent some of the hams, in the captain&s name, to the 'ords of >dmiralty, others tothe 'ords of the "reasury, some to the 'ord Mayor and Corporation of 'ondon, a few to each of the tradingcompanies, and the remainder to my particular friends, from all of whom I received warm than(s/ but from thecity I was honoured with substantial notice, viL., an invitation to dine at Guildhall annually on 'ord Mayor&sday.

"he bear)s(ins I sent to the Empress of Russia, to clothe her ma#esty and her court in the winter, for whichshe wrote me a letter of than(s with her own hand, and sent it by an ambassador e!traordinary, inviting me toshare the honours of her crown/ but as I never was ambitious of royal dignity, I declined her ma#esty&s favour in

the politest terms. "he same ambassador had orders to wait and bring my answer to her ma#esty *ersonally ,upon which business he was absent about three months1 her ma#esty&s reply convinced me of the strength of her affections, and the dignity of her mind/ her late indisposition was entirely owing 4as she, (ind creatureP was

pleased to e!press herself in a late conversation with the 7rince 0olgorouc(i5 to my cruelty. Hhat the se! see inme I cannot conceive, but the Empress is not the only female sovereign who has offered me her hand.

3ome people have very illiberally reported that Captain 7hipps did not proceed as far as he might have doneupon that e!pedition. <ere it becomes my duty to acAuit him/ our ship was in a very proper trim till I loaded itwith such an immense Auantity of bear)s(ins and hams, after which it would have been madness to haveattempted to proceed further, as we were now scarcely able to combat a bris( gale, much less those mountainsof ice which lay in the higher latitudes.

"he captain has since often e!pressed a dissatisfaction that he had no share in the honours of that day, whichhe emphatically called -ear=s<in (ay . <e has also been very desirous of (nowing by what art I destroyed somany thousands, without fatigue or danger to myself/ indeed, he is so ambitious of dividing the glory with me,that we have actually Auarrelled about it, and we are not now upon spea(ing terms. <e boldly asserts I had nomerit in deceiving the bears, because I was covered with one of their s(ins/ nay, he declares there is not, in hisopinion, in Europe, so complete a bear naturally as himself among the human species.

<e is now a noble peer, and I am too well acAuainted with good manners to dispute so delicate a point withhis lordship.

CHAPTER )IV

O'r $aron e0cels $aron Tott -eyon( all com*arison9 yet &ails in *art o& %is attem*t: ets into (isgrace wit%t%e ran( )eignior9 w%o or(ers %is %ea( to -e c't o&&:Esca*es9 an( gets on -oar( a vessel9 in w%ic% %e iscarrie( to Venice:$aron Tott!s origin9 wit% some acco'nt o& t%at great man!s *arents:Po*e anganelli!samo'r:His Holiness &on( o& s%ell=&is%8

%aron de "ott, in his Memoirs, ma(es as great a parade of a single act as many travellers whose whole liveshave been spent in seeing the different parts of the globe/ for my part, if I had been blown from Europe to >siafrom the mouth of a cannon, I should have boasted less of it afterwards than he has done of only firing off a"ur(ish piece of ordnance. Hhat he says of this wonderful gun, as near as my memory will serve me, is this1

D2"he "ur(s had placed below the castle, and near the city, on the ban(s of 3imois, a celebrated river, anenormous piece of ordnance cast in brass, which would carry a marble ball of eleven hundred pounds weight. Iwas inclined,2 says "ott, 2to fire it, but I was willing first to #udge of its effect/ the crowd about me trembled atthis proposal, as they asserted it would overthrow not only the castle, but the city also/ at length their fears in

part subsided, and I was permitted to discharge it. It reAuired not less than three hundred and thirty pounds&weight of powder, and the ball weighed, as before mentioned, eleven hundredweight. Hhen the engineer

brought the priming, the crowds who were about me retreated bac( as fast as they could/ nay, it was with theutmost difficulty I persuaded the 7acha, who came on purpose, there was no danger1 even the engineer who wasto discharge it by my direction was considerably alarmed. I too( my stand on some stone)wor( behind the

cannon, gave the signal, and felt a shoc( li(e that of earthAua(eP >t the distance of three hundred fathom the ball burst into three pieces/ the fragments crossed the strait, rebounded on the opposite mountain, and left thesurface of the water all in a foam through the whole breadth of the channel.2



"his, gentlemen, is, as near as I can recollect, %aron "ott&s account of the largest cannon in the (nown world. ow, when I was there not long since, the anecdote of "ott&s firing this tremendous piece was mentioned as a proof of that gentleman&s e!traordinary courage.

I was determined not to be outdone by a ?renchman, therefore too( this very piece upon my shoulder, and,after balancing it properly, #umped into the sea with it, and swam to the opposite shore, from whence Iunfortunately attempted to throw it bac( into its former place. I say unfortunately, for it slipped a little in myhand #ust as I was about to discharge it, and in conseAuence of that it fell into the middle of the channel, whereit now lies, without a prospect of ever recovering it1 and notwithstanding the high favour I was in with the

Grand 3eignior, as before mentioned, this cruel "ur(, as soon as he heard of the loss of his famous piece of ordnance, issued an order to cut off my head. I was immediately informed of it by one of the 3ultanas, withwhom I was become a great favourite, and she secreted me in her apartment while the officer charged with mye!ecution was, with his assistants, in search of me.

"hat very night I made my escape on board a vessel bound to =enice, which was then weighing anchor to proceed on her voyage.

"he last story, gentlemen, I am not fond of mentioning, as I miscarried in the attempt, and was very near losing my life into the bargain1 however, as it contains no impeachment of my honour, I would not withhold itfrom you.

ow, gentlemen, you all (now me, and can have no doubt of my veracity. I will entertain you with the origin

of this same swaggering, bouncing "ott.<is reputed father was a native of %erne, in 3witLerland/ his profession was that of a surveyor of the streets,

lanes, and alleys, vulgarly called a scavenger. <is mother was a native of the mountains of 3avoy, and had amost beautiful large wen on her nec(, common to both se!es in that part of the world/ she left her parents whenyoung, and sought her fortune in the same city which gave his father birth/ she maintained herself while single

by acts of (indness to our se!, for she never was (nown to refuse them any favour they as(ed, provided theydid but pay her some compliment beforehand. "his lovely couple met by accident in the street, in conseAuenceof their being both into!icated, for by reeling to one centre they threw each other down/ this created mutualabuse, in which they were complete adepts/ they were both carried to the watch)house, and afterwards to thehouse of correction/ they soon saw the folly of Auarrelling, made it up, became fond of each other, and married/

but madam returning to her old tric(s, his father, who had high notions of honour, soon separated himself fromher/ she then #oined a family who strolled about with a puppet)show. In time she arrived at Rome, where she(ept an oyster)stand. $ou have all heard, no doubt of 7ope Ganganelli, commonly called Clement OI=.1 he wasremar(ably fond of oysters. ne Good ?riday, as he was passing through this famous city in state, to assist athigh mass at 3t. 7eter&s Church, he saw this woman&s oysters 4which were remar(ably fine and fresh5/ he couldnot proceed without tasting them. "here were about five thousand people in his train/ he ordered them all tostop, and sent word to the church he could not attend mass till ne!t day/ then alighting from his horse 4for the7ope always rides on horsebac( upon these occasions5 he went into her stall, and ate every oyster she had there,and afterwards retired into the cellar where she had a few more. "his subterraneous apartment was her (itchen,

parlour, and bed)chamber. <e li(ed his situation so much that he discharged all his attendants, and to ma(eshort of the story, <is <oliness passed the whole night thereP %efore they parted he gave her absolution, not

only for every sin she had, but all she might hereafter commit. Now9 gentlemen9 I %ave %is mot%er!s wor( &or it an( %er %ono'r cannot -e (o'-te( 9 t%at $aron Tott is t%e &r'it o& t%at amo'r8 6%en Tott was -orn9 %is mot%er a**lie( to His Holiness9 as t%e &at%er o& %er c%il(; %eimme(iately *lace( %im 'n(er t%e *ro*er *eo*le9 an( as %e grew '* gave %im a gentleman!s e('cation9 %a( %im ta'g%t t%e 'se o& arms9 *roc're( %im *romotion in France9 an( a title9 an( w%en %e (ie( %e le&t %im a goo( estate8

CHAPTER )V A &'rt%er acco'nt o& t%e +o'rney &rom Harwic% to Helvoetsl'ys: Descri*tion o& a n'm-er o& marine o-+ects

never mentione( -y any traveller -e&ore:Roc<s seen in t%is *assage e5'al to t%e Al*s in magnit'(e; lo-sters9



cra-s9 Bc89 o& an e0traor(inary magnit'(e:A woman!s li&e save(:T%e ca'se o& %er &alling into t%e sea:Dr8 Hawes! (irections &ollowe( wit% s'ccess8

I omitted several very material parts in my father&s #ourney across the English Channel to <olland, which,that they may not be totally lost I will now faithfully give you in his own words, as I heard him relate them tohis friends several times.

2 n my arrival,2 says my father, 2at <elvoetsluys, I was observed to breathe with some difficulty/ upon theinhabitants inAuiring into the cause, I informed them that the animal upon whose bac( I rode from <arwichacross to their shore did not swimP 3uch is their peculiar form and disposition, that they cannot float or moveupon the surface of the water/ he ran with incredible swiftness upon the sands from the shore, driving fish inmillions before him, many of which were Auite different from any I had yet seen, carrying their heads at thee!tremity of their tails. I crossed,2 continued he, 2one prodigious range of roc(s, eAual in height to the >lps 4thetops or highest parts of these marine mountains are said to be upwards of one hundred fathoms below thesurface of the sea5, on the sides of which there was a great variety of tall, noble trees, loaded with marine fruit,such as lobsters, crabs, oysters, scollops, mussels, coc(les, Tc. Tc./ some of which were a cart)load singlyP andnone less than a porter&sP >ll those which are brought on shore and sold in our mar(ets are of an inferior dwarf (ind, or, properly, waterfalls, i8e8, fruit shoo( off the branches of the tree it grows upon by the motion of thewater, as those in our gardens are by that of the windP "he lobster)trees appeared the richest, but the crab andoysters were the tallest. "he periwin(le is a (ind of shrub/ it grows at the foot of the oyster)tree, and twinesround it as the ivy does the oa(. I observed the effect of several accidents by shipwrec(, Tc., particularly a shipthat had been wrec(ed by stri(ing against a mountain or roc(, the top of which lay within three fathoms of thesurface. >s she san( she fell upon her side, and forced a very large lobster)tree out of its place. It was in thespring, when the lobsters were very young, and many of them being separated by the violence of the shoc(,they fell upon a crab)tree which was growing below them/ they have, li(e the farina of plants, united, and

produced a fish resembling both. I endeavoured to bring one with me, but it was too cumbersome, and my salt)water 7egasus seemed much displeased at every attempt to stop his career whilst I continued upon his bac(/

besides, I was then, though galloping over a mountain of roc(s that lay about midway the passage, at least fivehundred fathom below the surface of the sea, and began to find the want of air inconvenient, therefore I had noinclination to prolong the time. >dd to this, my situation was in other respects very unpleasant/ I met manylarge fish, who were, if I could #udge by their open mouths, not only able, but really wished to devour us/ now,

as my Rosinante was blind, I had these hungry gentlemen&s attempts to guard against, in addition to my other difficulties.2>s we drew near the 0utch shore, and the body of water over our heads did not e!ceed twenty fathoms, I

thought I saw a human figure in a female dress then lying on the sand before me with some signs of life/ when Icame close I perceived her hand move1 I too( it into mine, and brought her on shore as a corpse. >n apothecary,who had #ust been instructed by 0r. <awes Qthe %aron&s father must have lived very lately if 0r. <awes was his

preceptor , of 'ondon, treated her properly, and she recovered. 3he was the rib of a man who commanded avessel belonging to <elvoetsluys. <e was #ust going out of port on a voyage, when she, hearing he had got amistress with him, followed him in an open boat. >s soon as she had got on the Auarter)dec( she flew at her husband, and attempted to stri(e him with such impetuosity, that he thought it most prudent to slip on one side,and let her ma(e the impression of her fingers upon the waves rather than his face1 he was not much out in hisideas of the conseAuence/ for meeting no opposition, she went directly overboard, and it was my unfortunate lotto lay the foundation for bringing this happy pair together again.

2I can easily conceive what e!ecrations the husband loaded me with when, on his return, he found this gentlecreature waiting his arrival, and learned the means by which she came into the world again. <owever, great asthe in#ury is which I have done this poor devil, I hope he will die in charity with me, as my motive was good,though the conseAuences to him are, it must be confessed, horrible.2

CHAPTER )VIT%is is a very s%ort c%a*ter9 -'t contains a &act &or w%ic% t%e $aron!s memory o'g%t to -e (ear to every

Englis%man9 es*ecially t%ose w%o may %erea&ter %ave t%e mis&ort'ne o& -eing ma(e *risoners o& war8



n my return from Gibraltar I travelled by way of ?rance to England. %eing a foreigner, this was notattended with any inconvenience to me. I found, in the harbour of Calais, a ship #ust arrived with a number of English sailors as prisoners of war. I immediately conceived an idea of giving these brave fellows their liberty,which I accomplished as follows1D>fter forming a pair of large wings, each of them forty yards long, andfourteen wide, and anne!ing them to myself, I mounted at brea( of day, when every creature, even the watchupon dec(, was fast asleep. >s I hovered over the ship I fastened three grappling irons to the tops of the threemasts with my sling, and fairly lifted her several yards out of the water, and then proceeded across to 0over,where I arrived in half an hourP <aving no further occasion for these wings, I made them a present to the

governor of 0over Castle, where they are now e!hibited to the curious.>s to the prisoners, and the ?renchmen who guarded them, they did not awa(e till they had been near two

hours on 0over 7ier. "he moment the English understood their situation they changed places with their guard,and too( bac( what they had been plundered of, but no more, for they were too generous to retaliate and

plunder them in return.

CHAPTER )VII

Voyage eastwar(:T%e $aron intro('ces a &rien( w%o never (eceive( %im wins a %'n(re( g'ineas -y *inning %is &ait% '*on t%at &rien(!s nose: ame starte( at sea:)ome ot%er circ'mstances w%ic% will9 it is%o*e(9 a&&or( t%e rea(er no small (egree o& am'sement8

In a voyage which I made to the East Indies with Captain <amilton, I too( a favourite pointer with me/ hewas, to use a common phrase, worth his weight in gold, for he never deceived me. ne day when we were, bythe best observations we could ma(e, at least three hundred leagues from land, my dog pointed/ I observed himfor near an hour with astonishment, and mentioned the circumstance to the captain and every officer on board,asserting that we must be near land, for my dog smelt game. "his occasioned a general laugh/ but that did notalter in the least the good opinion I had of my dog. >fter much conversation pro and con, I boldly told thecaptain I placed more confidence in "ray&s nose than I did in the eyes of every seaman on board, and therefore

proposed laying the sum I had agreed to pay for my passage 4viL., one hundred guineas5 that we should findgame within half an hour. "he captain 4a good, hearty fellow5 laughed again, desired Mr. Crowford the surgeon,who was prepared, to feel my pulse/ he did so, and reported me in perfect health. "he following dialogue

between them too( place/ I overheard it, though spo(en low, and at some distance.C>7">I <is brain is turned/ I cannot with honour accept his wager.3URGE I am of a different opinion/ he is Auite sane, and depends more upon the scent of his dog than he

will upon the #udgment of all the officers on board/ he will certainly lose, and he richly merits it.C>7">I 3uch a wager cannot be fair on my side/ however, I&ll ta(e him up, if I return his money

afterwards.

0uring the above conversation "ray continued in the same situation, and confirmed me still more in myformer opinion. I proposed the wager a second time, it was then accepted.0oneP and doneP were scarcely said on both sides, when some sailors who were fishing in the long)boat,

which was made fast to the stern of the ship, harpooned an e!ceeding large shar(, which they brought on boardand began to cut up for the purpose of barrelling the oil, when, behold, they found no less than si0 -race o& live

*artri(ges in this animal&s stomachP"hey had been so long in that situation, that one of the hens was sitting upon four eggs, and a fifth was

hatching when the shar( was openedPPP "his young bird we brought up by placing it with a litter of (ittens thatcame into the world a few minutes beforeP "he old cat was as fond of it as of any of her own four)legged

progeny, and made herself very unhappy, when it flew out of her reach, till it returned again. >s to the other partridges, there were four hens amongst them/ one or more were, during the voyage, constantly sitting, andconseAuently we had plenty of game at the captain&s table/ and in gratitude to poor "ray 4for being a means of winning one hundred guineas5 I ordered him the bones daily, and sometimes a whole bird.



CHAPTER )VIII

A SECOND TRIP TO THE MOON'

A secon( visit -'t an acci(ental one to t%e moon:T%e s%i* (riven -y a w%irlwin( a t%o'san( leag'esa-ove t%e s'r&ace o& t%e water9 w%ere a new atmos*%ere meets t%em an( carries t%em into a ca*acio's %ar-o'r in t%e moon:A (escri*tion o& t%e in%a-itants9 an( t%eir manner o& coming into t%e l'narian worl(:Animals9c'stoms9 wea*ons o& war9 wine9 vegeta-les9 Bc8

I have already informed you of one trip I made to the moon, in search of my silver hatchet/ I afterwards madeanother in a much pleasanter manner, and stayed in it long enough to ta(e notice of several things, which I willendeavour to describe as accurately as my memory will permit.

I went on a voyage of discovery at the reAuest of a distant relation, who had a strange notion that there were people to be found eAual in magnitude to those described by Gulliver in the empire of %R %0IG >G. ?or my part I always treated that account as fabulous1 however, to oblige him, for he had made me his heir, I undertoo( it, and sailed for the 3outh seas, where we arrived without meeting with anything remar(able, e!cept someflying men and women who were playing at leap)frog, and dancing minuets in the air.

n the eighteenth day after we had passed the Island of taheite, mentioned by Captain Coo( as the placefrom whence they brought mai, a hurricane blew our ship at least one thousand leagues above the surface of the water, and (ept it at the height till a fresh gale arising filled the sails in every part, and onwards we travelledat a prodigious rate/ thus we proceeded above the clouds for si! wee(s. >t last we discovered a great land in thes(y, li(e a shining island, round and bright, where, coming into a convenient harbour, we went on shore, andsoon found it was inhabited. %elow us we saw another earth, containing cities, trees, mountains, rivers, seas,Tc., which we con#ectured was this world which we had left. <ere we saw huge figures riding upon vultures of a prodigious siLe, and each of them having three heads. "o form some idea of the magnitude of these birds, I

must inform you that each of their wings is as wide and si! times the length of the main sheet of our vessel,which was about si! hundred tons burthen. "hus, instead of riding upon horses, as we do in this world, theinhabitants of the moon 4for we now found we were in Madam 'una5 fly about on these birds. "he (ing, wefound, was engaged in a war with the sun, and he offered me a commission, but I declined the honour hisma#esty intended me. Everything in t%is world is of e!traordinary magnitudeP a common flea being much larger than one of our sheep1 in ma(ing war, their principal weapons are radishes, which are used as darts1 those whoare wounded by them die immediately. "heir shields are made of mushrooms, and their darts 4when radishes areout of season5 of the tops of asparagus. 3ome of the natives of the dog)star are to be seen here/ commercetempts them to ramble/ their faces are li(e large mastiffs&, with their eyes near the lower end or tip of their noses1 they have no eyelids, but cover their eyes with the end of their tongues when they go to sleep/ they aregenerally twenty feet high. >s to the natives of the moon, none of them are less in stature than thirty)si! feet1

they are not called the human species, but the coo(ing animals, for they all dress their food by fire, as we do, but lose not time at their meals, as they open their left side, and place the whole Auantity at once in their stomach, then shut it again till the same day in the ne!t month/ for they never indulge themselves with foodmore than twelve times a year, or once a month. >ll but gluttons and epicures must prefer this method to ours.

"here is but one se! either of the coo(ing or any other animals in the moon/ they are all produced from treesof various siLes and foliage/ that which produces the coo(ing animal, or human species, is much more beautifulthan any of the others/ it has large straight boughs and flesh)coloured leaves, and the fruit it produces are nutsor pods, with hard shells at least two yards long/ when they become ripe, which is (nown from their changingcolour, they are gathered with great care, and laid by as long as they thin( proper1 when they choose to animatethe seed of these nuts, they throw them into a large cauldron of boiling water, which opens the shells in a fewhours, and out #umps the creature.

ature forms their minds for different pursuits before they come into the world/ from one shell comes forth awarrior, from another a philosopher, from a third a divine, from a fourth a lawyer, from a fifth a farmer, from asi!th a clown, Tc. Tc., and each of them immediately begins to perfect themselves, by practising what they

before (new only in theory.



Hhen they grow old they do not die, but turn into air, and dissolve li(e smo(eP >s for their drin(, they neednone/ the only evacuations they have are insensible, and by their breath. "hey have but one finger upon eachhand, with which they perform everything in as perfect a manner as we do who have four besides the thumb."heir heads are placed under their right arm, and when are going to travel, or about any violent e!ercise, theygenerally leave them at home, for they can consult them at any distance/ this is a very common practice/ andwhen those of ran( or Auality among the 'unarians have an inclination to see what&s going forward among thecommon people, they stay at home, i8e8, the body stays at home, and sends the head only, which is suffered to

be present incog8, and return at pleasure with an account of what has passed.

"he stones of their grapes are e!actly li(e hail/ and I am perfectly satisfied that when a storm or high wind inthe moon sha(es their vines, and brea(s the grapes from the stal(s, the stones fall down and form our hailshowers. I would advise those who are of my opinion to save a Auantity of these stones when it hails ne!t, andma(e 'unarian wine. It is a common beverage at 3t. 'u(e&s. 3ome material circumstances I had nearly omitted."hey put their bellies to the same use as we do a sac(, and throw whatever they have occasion for into it, for they can shut and open it again when they please, as they do their stomachs/ they are not troubled with bowels,liver, heart, or any other intestines, neither are they encumbered with clothes, nor is there any part of their

bodies unseemly or indecent to e!hibit."heir eyes they can ta(e in and out of their places when they please, and can see as well with them in their

hand as in their headP and if by any accident they lose or damage one, they can borrow or purchase another, andsee as clearly with it as their own. 0ealers in eyes are on that account very numerous in most parts of the moon,and in this article alone all the inhabitants are whimsical1 sometimes green and sometimes yellow eyes are thefashion. I (now these things appear strange/ but if the shadow of a doubt can remain on any person&s mind, Isay, let him ta(e a voyage there himself, and then he will (now I am a traveller of veracity.

CHAPTER )I)

T%e $aron crosses t%e T%ames wit%o't t%e assistance o& a -ri(ge9 s%i*9 -oat9 -alloon9 or even %is own willro'ses %imsel& a&ter a long na*9 an( (estroys a monster w%o live( '*on t%e (estr'ction o& ot%ers8

My first visit to England was about the beginning of the present (ing&s reign. I had occasion to go down toHapping, to see some goods shipped, which I was sending to some friends at <amburgh/ after that businesswas over, I too( the "ower Hharf in my way bac(. <ere I found the sun very powerful, and I was so muchfatigued that I stepped into one of the cannon to compose me, where I fell fast asleep. "his was about noon1 itwas the fourth of une/ e!actly at one o&cloc( these cannon were all discharged in memory of the day. "hey had

been all charged that morning, and having no suspicion of my situation, I was shot over the houses on theopposite side of the river, into a farmer&s yard, between %ermondsey and 0eptford, where I fell upon a largehay)stac(, without wa(ing, and continued there in a sound sleep till hay became so e!travagantly dear 4whichwas about three months after5, that the farmer found it his interest to send his whole stoc( to mar(et1 the stac( I

was reposing upon was the largest in the yard, containing above five hundred load/ they began to cut that first. Iwo(e with the voices of the people who had ascended the ladders to begin at the top, and got up, totallyignorant of my situation1 in attempting to run away I fell upon the farmer to whom the hay belonged, and bro(ehis nec(, yet received no in#ury myself. I afterwards found, to my great consolation, that this fellow was a mostdetestable character, always (eeping the produce of his grounds for e!travagant mar(ets.

CHAPTER ))

T%e $aron sli*s t%ro'g% t%e worl( a&ter *aying a visit to "o'nt Etna %e &in(s %imsel& in t%e )o't% )ea; visitsV'lcan in %is *assage; gets on -oar( a D'tc%man; arrives at an islan( o& c%eese9 s'rro'n(e( -y a sea o& mil<;(escri-es some very e0traor(inary o-+ects:2ose t%eir com*ass; t%eir s%i* sli*s -etween t%e teet% o& a &is%'n<nown in t%is *art o& t%e worl(; t%eir (i&&ic'lty in esca*ing &rom t%ence; arrive in t%e Cas*ian )ea:)tarves a



-ear to (eat%:A &ew waistcoat anec(otes:In t%is c%a*ter9 w%ic% is t%e longest9 t%e $aron moralises '*on t%evirt'e o& veracity8

Mr. 0rybones& 2"ravels to 3icily,2 which I had read with great pleasure, induced me to pay a visit to MountEtna/ my voyage to this place was not attended with any circumstances worth relating. ne morning early, threeor four days after my arrival, I set out from a cottage where I had slept, within si! miles of the foot of themountain, determined to e!plore the internal parts, if I perished in the attempt. >fter three hours& hard labour Ifound myself at the top/ it was then, and had been for upwards of three wee(s, raging1 its appearance in thisstate has been so freAuently noticed by different travellers, that I will not tire you with descriptions of ob#ects

you are already acAuainted with. I wal(ed round the edge of the crater, which appeared to be fifty times at leastas capacious as the 0evil&s 7unch)%owl near 7etersfield, on the 7ortsmouth Road, but not so broad at the

bottom, as in that part it resembles the contracted part of a funnel more than a punch)bowl. >t last, having madeup my mind, in I sprang feet foremost/ I soon found myself in a warm berth, and my body bruised and burnt invarious parts by the red)hot cinders, which, by their violent ascent, opposed my descent1 however, my weightsoon brought me to the bottom, where I found myself in the midst of noise and clamour, mi!ed with the mosthorrid imprecations/ after recovering my senses, and feeling a reduction of my pain, I began to loo( about me.Guess, gentlemen, my astonishment, when I found myself in the company of =ulcan and his Cyclops, who had

been Auarrelling, for the three wee(s before mentioned, about the observation of good order and duesubordination, and which had occasioned such alarms for that space of time in the world above. <owever, myarrival restored peace to the whole society, and =ulcan himself did me the honour of applying plasters to mywounds, which healed them immediately/ he also placed refreshments before me, particularly nectar, and other rich wines, such as the gods and goddesses only aspire to. >fter this repast was over =ulcan ordered =enus toshow me every indulgence which my situation reAuired. "o describe the apartment, and the couch on which Ireposed, is totally impossible, therefore I will not attempt it/ let it suffice to say, it e!ceeds the power of language to do it #ustice, or spea( of that (ind)hearted goddess in any terms eAual to her merit.

=ulcan gave me a very concise account of Mount Etna1 he said it was nothing more than an accumulation of ashes thrown from his forge/ that he was freAuently obliged to chastise his people, at whom, in his passion, hemade it a practice to throw red)hot coals at home, which they often parried with great de!terity, and then threwthem up into the world to place them out of his reach, for they never attempted to assault him in return bythrowing them bac( again. 2 ur Auarrels,2 added he, 2last sometimes three or four months, and these

appearances of coals or cinders in the world are what I find you mortals call eruptions.2 Mount =esuvius, heassured me, was another of his shops, to which he had a passage three hundred and fifty leagues under the bedof the sea, where similar Auarrels produced similar eruptions. I should have continued here as an humbleattendant upon Madam =enus, but some busy tattlers, who delight in mischief, whispered a tale in =ulcan&s ear,which roused in him a fit of #ealousy not to be appeased. Hithout the least previous notice he too( me onemorning under his arm, as I was waiting upon =enus, agreeable to custom, and carried me to an apartment I hadnever before seen, in which there was, to all appearance, a well with a wide mouth1 over this he held me atarm&s length, and saying, 2 Ungrate&'l mortal9 ret'rn to t%e worl( &rom w%ence yo' came ,2 without giving methe least opportunity of reply, dropped me in the centre. I found myself descending with an increasing rapidity,till the horror of my mind deprived me of all reflection. I suppose I fell into a trance, from which I wassuddenly aroused by plunging into a large body of water illuminated by the rays of the sunPP

I could, from my infancy, swim well, and play tric(s in the water. I now found myself in paradise,considering the horrors of mind I had #ust been released from. >fter loo(ing about me some time, I coulddiscover nothing but an e!panse of sea, e!tending beyond the eye in every direction/ I also found it very cold, adifferent climate from Master =ulcan&s shop. >t last I observed at some distance a body of amaLing magnitude,li(e a huge roc(, approaching me/ I soon discovered it to be a piece of floating ice/ I swam round it till I founda place where I could ascend to the top, which I did, but not without some difficulty. 3till I was out of sight of land, and despair returned with double force/ however, before night came on I saw a sail, which we approachedvery fast/ when it was within a very small distance I hailed them in German/ they answered in 0utch. I thenflung myself into the sea, and they threw out a rope, by which I was ta(en on board. I now inAuired where wewere, and was informed, in the great 3outhern cean/ this opened a discovery which removed all my doubtsand difficulties. It was now evident that I had passed from Mount Etna through the centre of the earth to the3outh 3eas1 this, gentlemen, was a much shorter cut than going round the world, and which no man hasaccomplished, or ever attempted, but myself/ however, the ne!t time I perform it I will be much more particular in my observations.



I too( some refreshment, and went to rest. "he 0utch are a very rude sort of people/ I related the Etna passage to the officers, e!actly as I have done to you, and some of them, particularly the Captain, seemed by hisgrimace and half)sentence to doubt my veracity/ however, as he had (indly ta(en me on board his vessel, andwas then in the very act of administering to my necessities, I poc(eted the affront.

I now in my turn began to inAuire where they were boundS "o which they answered, they were in search of new discoveries/ 2 an( i& ,2 said they, 2 yo'r story is tr'e9 a new *assage is really (iscovere(9 an( we s%all not ret'rn (isa**ointe( .2 He were now e!actly in Captain Coo(&s first trac(, and arrived the ne!t morning in%otany %ay. "his place I would by no means recommend to the English government as a receptacle for felons,

or place of punishment/ it should rather be the reward of merit, nature having most bountifully bestowed her best gifts upon it.

He stayed here but three days/ the fourth after our departure a most dreadful storm arose, which in a fewhours destroyed all our sails, splintered our bowsprit, and brought down our topmast/ it fell directly upon the

bo! that enclosed our compass, which, with the compass, was bro(en to pieces. Every one who has been at sea(nows the conseAuences of such a misfortune1 we now were at a loss where to steer. >t length the storm abated,which was followed by a steady, bris( gale, that carried us at least forty (nots an hour for si! monthsP Qweshould suppose the %aron has made a little mista(e, and substituted mont%s for (ays when we began to observean amaLing change in everything about us1 our spirits became light, our noses were regaled with the mostaromatic effluvia imaginable1 the sea had also changed its comple!ion, and from green became whitePP 3oonafter these wonderful alterations we saw land, and not at any great distance an inlet, which we sailed up near si!ty leagues, and found it wide and deep, flowing with mil( of the most delicious taste. <ere we landed, andsoon found it was an island consisting of one large cheese1 we discovered this by one of the company faintingaway as soon as we landed1 this man always had an aversion to cheese/ when he recovered, he desired thecheese to be ta(en from under his feet1 upon e!amination we found him perfectly right, for the whole island, as

before observed, was nothing but a cheese of immense magnitudeP Upon this the inhabitants, who areamaLingly numerous, principally sustain themselves, and it grows every night in proportion as it is consumed inthe day. <ere seemed to be plenty of vines, with bunches of large grapes, which, upon being pressed, yieldednothing but mil(. He saw the inhabitants running races upon the surface of the mil(1 they were upright, comelyfigures, nine feet high, have three legs, and but one arm/ upon the whole, their form was graceful, and whenthey Auarrel, they e!ercise a straight horn, which grows in adults from the centre of their foreheads, with great

adroitness/ they did not sin( at all, but ran and wal(ed upon the surface of the mil(, as we do upon a bowling)green.Upon this island of cheese grows great plenty of corn, the ears of which produce loaves of bread, ready

made, of a round form li(e mushrooms. He discovered, in our rambles over this cheese, seventeen other riversof mil(, and ten of wine.

>fter thirty)eight days& #ourney we arrived on the opposite side to that on which we landed1 here we foundsome blue mould, as cheese)eaters call it, from whence spring all (inds of rich fruit/ instead of breeding mites it

produced peaches, nectarines, apricots, and a thousand delicious fruits which we are not acAuainted with. Inthese trees, which are of an amaLing siLe, were plenty of birds& nests/ amongst others was a (ing)fisher&s of

prodigious magnitude/ it was at least twice the circumference of the dome of 3t. 7aul&s Church in 'ondon.Upon inspection, this nest was made of huge trees curiously #oined together/ there were, let me see 4 &or I ma<eit a r'le always to s*ea< wit%in com*ass 5, there were upwards of five hundred eggs in the nest, and each of them was as large as four common hogsheads, or eight barrels, and we could not only see, but hear the youngones chirping within. <aving, with great fatigue, cut open one of these eggs, we let out a young oneunfeathered, considerably larger than twenty full)grown vultures. ust as we had given this youngster his libertythe old (ingfisher lighted, and seiLing our captain, who had been active in brea(ing the egg, in one of her claws,flew with him above a mile high, and then let him drop into the sea, but not till she had beaten all his teeth outof his mouth with her wings.

0utchmen generally swim well1 he soon #oined us, and we retreated to our ship. n our return we too( adifferent route, and observed many strange ob#ects. He shot two wild o!en, each with one horn, also li(e theinhabitants, e!cept that it sprouted from between the eyes of these animals/ we were afterwards concerned at

having destroyed them, as we found, by inAuiry, they tamed these creatures, and used them as we do horses, toride upon and draw their carriages/ their flesh, we were informed, is e!cellent, but useless where people liveupon cheese and mil(. Hhen we had reached within two days& #ourney of the ship we observed three menhanging to a tall tree by their heels/ upon inAuiring the cause of their punishment, I found they had all been



travellers, and upon their return home had deceived their friends by describing places they never saw, andrelating things that never happened1 this gave me no concern, as I %ave ever con&ine( mysel& to &acts.

>s soon as we arrived at the ship we unmoored, and set sail from this e!traordinary country, when, to our astonishment, all the trees upon shore, of which there were a great number very tall and large, paid their respects to us twice, bowing to e!act time, and immediately recovered their former posture, which was Auiteerect.

%y what we could learn of this C<EE3E, it was considerably larger than the continent of all EuropeP>fter sailing three months we (new not where, being still without compass, we arrived in a sea which

appeared to be almost blac(1 upon tasting it we found it most e!cellent wine, and had great difficulty to (eepthe sailors from getting drun( with it1 however, in a few hours we found ourselves surrounded by whales andother animals of an immense magnitude, one of which appeared to be too large for the eye to form a #udgmentof1 we did not see him till we were close to him. "his monster drew our ship, with all her masts standing, andsails bent, by suction into his mouth, between his teeth, which were much larger and taller than the mast of afirst)rate man)of)war. >fter we had been in his mouth some time he opened it pretty wide, too( in an immenseAuantity of water, and floated our vessel, which was at least -99 tons burthen, into his stomach/ here we lay asAuiet as at anchor in a dead calm. "he air, to be sure, was rather warm, and very offensive. He found anchors,cables, boats, and barges in abundance, and a considerable number of ships, some laden and some not, whichthis creature had swallowed. Everything was transacted by torch)light/ no sun, no moon, no planet, to ma(e

observations from. He were all generally afloat and aground twice a)day/ whenever he dran(, it became highwater with us/ and when he evacuated, we found ourselves aground/ upon a moderate computation, he too( inmore water at a single draught than is generally to be found in the 'a(e of Geneva, though that is above thirtymiles in circumference. n the second day of our confinement in these regions of dar(ness, I ventured at lowwater, as we called it when the ship was aground, to ramble with the Captain, and a few of the other officers,with lights in our hands/ we met with people of all nations, to the amount of upwards of ten thousand/ they weregoing to hold a council how to recover their liberty/ some of them having lived in this animal&s stomach severalyears/ there were several children here who had never seen the world, their mothers having lain in repeatedly inthis warm situation. ust as the chairman was going to inform us of the business upon which we wereassembled, this plaguy fish, becoming thirsty, dran( in his usual manner/ the water poured in with suchimpetuosity, that we were all obliged to retreat to our respective ships immediately, or run the ris( of being

drowned/ some were obliged to swim for it, and with difficulty saved their lives. In a few hours after we weremore fortunate, we met again #ust after the monster had evacuated. I was chosen chairman, and the first thing Idid was to propose splicing two main)masts together, and the ne!t time he opened his mouth to be ready towedge them in, so as to prevent his shutting it. It was unanimously approved. ne hundred stout men werechosen upon this service. He had scarcely got our masts properly prepared when an opportunity offered/ themonster opened his mouth, immediately the top of the mast was placed against the roof, and the other end

pierced his tongue, which effectually prevented him from shutting his mouth. >s soon as everything in hisstomach was afloat, we manned a few boats, who rowed themselves and us into the world. "he daylight, after,as near as we could #udge, three months& confinement in total dar(ness, cheered our spirits surprisingly. Hhenwe had all ta(en our leave of this capacious animal, we mustered #ust a fleet of ninety)five ships, of all nations,who had been in this confined situation.

He left the two masts in his mouth, to prevent others being confined in the same horrid gulf of dar(ness andfilth. ur first ob#ect was to learn what part of the world we were in/ this we were for some time at a loss toascertain1 at last I found, from former observations, that we were in the Caspian 3eaP which washes part of thecountry of the Calmuc( "artars. <ow we came here is was impossible to conceive, as this sea has nocommunication with any other. ne of the inhabitants of the Cheese Island, whom I had brought with me,accounted for it thus1Dthat the monster in whose stomach we had been so long confined had carried us herethrough some subterraneous passage/ however, we pushed to shore, and I was the first who landed. ust as I putmy foot upon the ground a large bear leaped upon me with its fore)paws/ I caught one in each hand, andsAueeLed him till he cried out most lustily/ however, in this position I held him till I starved him to death. $oumay laugh, gentlemen, but this was soon accomplished, as I prevented him lic(ing his paws. ?rom hence I

travelled up to 3t. 7etersburg a second time1 here an old friend gave me a most e!cellent pointer, descendedfrom the famous bitch before)mentioned, that littered while she was hunting a hare. I had the misfortune to havehim shot soon after by a blundering sportsman, who fired at him instead of a covey of partridges which he had

#ust set. f this creature&s s(in I have had this waistcoat made 4showing his waistcoat5, which always leads meinvoluntarily to game if I wal( in the fields in the proper season, and when I come within shot, one o& t%e



-'ttons constantly &lies o&&9 an( lo(ges '*on t%e s*ot w%ere t%e s*ort is / and as the birds rise, being always primed and coc(ed, I never miss them. <ere are now but three buttons left. I shall have a new set sewed onagainst the shooting season commences.

Hhen a covey of partridges is disturbed in this manner, by the button falling amongst them, they always risefrom the ground in a direct line before each other. I one day, by forgetting to ta(e my ramrod out of my gun,shot it straight through a leash, as regularly as if the coo( had spitted them. I had forgot to put in any shot, andthe rod had been made so hot with the powder, that the birds were completely roasted by the time I reachedhome.

3ince my arrival in England I have accomplished what I had very much at heart, viL., providing for theinhabitant of the Cheese Island, whom I had brought with me. My old friend, 3ir Hilliam Chambers, who isentirely indebted to me for all his ideas of Chinese gardening, by a description of which he has gained suchhigh reputation/ I say, gentlemen, in a discourse which I had with this gentlemen, he seemed much distressedfor a contrivance to light the lamps at the new buildings, 3omerset <ouse/ the common mode with ladders, heobserved, was both dirty and inconvenient. My native of the Cheese Island popped into my head/ he was onlynine feet high when I first brought him from his own country, but was now increased to ten and a half1 Iintroduced him to 3ir Hilliam, and he is appointed to that honourable office. <e is also to carry, under a largecloa(, a utensil in each coat poc(et, instead of those four which 3ir Hilliam has very *ro*erly fi!ed for private

purposes in so conspicuous a situation, the great Auadrangle.

<e has also obtained from Mr. 7I"" the situation of messenger to his Ma#esty&s lords of the bed)chamber,whose principal employment will now be, divulging the secrets of the Royal household to their wort%y 7atron.3U77'EME "

E0traor(inary &lig%t on t%e -ac< o& an eagle9 over France to i-raltar9 )o't% an( Nort% America9 t%e Polar Regions9 an( -ac< to Englan(9 wit%in si0=an(=t%irty %o'rs8

>bout the beginning of his present Ma#esty&s reign I had some business with a distant relation who then livedon the Isle of "hanet/ it was a family dispute, and not li(ely to be finished soon. I made it a practice during myresidence there, the weather being fine, to wal( out every morning. >fter a few of these e!cursions I observedan ob#ect upon a great eminence about three miles distant1 I e!tended my wal( to it, and found the ruins of anancient temple1 I approached it with admiration and astonishment/ the traces of grandeur and magnificence

which yet remained were evident proofs of its former splendour1 here I could not help lamenting the ravagesand devastations of time, of which that once noble structure e!hibited such a melancholy proof. I wal(ed roundit several times, meditating on the fleeting and transitory nature of all terrestrial things/ on the eastern end werethe remains of a lofty tower, near forty feet high, overgrown with ivy, the top apparently flat/ I surveyed it onevery side very minutely, thin(ing that if I could gain its summit I should en#oy the most delightful prospect of the circum#acent country. >nimated with this hope, I resolved, if possible, to gain the summit, which I at lengtheffected by means of the ivy, though not without great difficulty and danger/ the top I found covered with thisevergreen, e!cept a large chasm in the middle. >fter I had surveyed with pleasing wonder the beauties of artand nature that conspired to enrich the scene, curiosity prompted me to sound the opening in the middle, inorder to ascertain its depth, as I entertained a suspicion that it might probably communicate with someune!plored subterranean cavern in the hill/ but having no line I was at a loss how to proceed. >fter revolving

the matter in my thoughts for some time, I resolved to drop a stone down and listen to the echo1 having foundone that answered my purpose I placed myself over the hole, with one foot on each side, and stooping down tolisten, I dropped the stone, which I had no sooner done than I heard a rustling below, and suddenly a monstrouseagle put up its head right opposite my face, and rising up with irresistible force, carried me away seated on itsshoulders1 I instantly grasped it round the nec(, which was large enough to fill my arms, and its wings, whene!tended, were ten yards from one e!tremity to the other. >s it rose with a regular ascent, my seat was perfectlyeasy, and I en#oyed the prospect below with ine!pressible pleasure. It hovered over Margate for some time, wasseen by several people, and many shots were fired at it/ one ball hit the heel of my shoe, but did me no in#ury. Itthen directed its course to 0over cliff, where it alighted, and I thought of dismounting, but was prevented by asudden discharge of mus(etry from a party of marines that were e!ercising on the beach/ the balls flew aboutmy head, and rattled on the feathers of the eagle li(e hail)stones, yet I could not perceive it had received anyin#ury. It instantly reascended and flew over the sea towards Calais, but so very high that the Channel seemed to

be no broader than the "hames at 'ondon %ridge. In a Auarter of an hour I found myself over a thic( wood in?rance, where the eagle descended very rapidly, which caused me to slip down to the bac( part of its head/ butalighting on a large tree, and raising its head, I recovered my seat as before, but saw no possibility of



disengaging myself without the danger of being (illed by the fall/ so I determined to sit fast, thin(ing it wouldcarry me to the >lps, or some other high mountain, where I could dismount without any danger. >fter resting afew minutes it too( wing, flew several times round the wood, and screamed loud enough to be heard across theEnglish Channel. In a few minutes one of the same species arose out of the wood, and flew directly towards us/it surveyed me with evident mar(s of displeasure, and came very near me. >fter flying several times round,they both directed their course to the south)west. I soon observed that the one I rode upon could not (eep pacewith the other, but inclined towards the earth, on account of my weight/ its companion perceiving this, turnedround and placed itself in such a position that the other could rest its head on its rump/ in this manner they

proceeded till noon, when I saw the roc( of Gibraltar very distinctly. "he day being clear, notwithstanding mydegree of elevation, the earth&s surface appeared #ust li(e a map, where land, sea, la(es, rivers, mountains, andthe li(e were perfectly distinguishable/ and having some (nowledge of geography, I was at no loss to determinewhat part of the globe I was in.

Hhilst I was contemplating this wonderful prospect a dreadful howling suddenly began all around me, and ina moment I was invested by thousands of small, blac(, deformed, frightful loo(ing creatures, who pressed meon all sides in such a manner that I could neither move hand or foot1 but I had not been in their possession morethan ten minutes when I heard the most delightful music that can possibly be imagined, which was suddenlychanged into a noise the most awful and tremendous, to which the report of cannon, or the loudest claps of thunder could bear no more proportion than the gentle Lephyrs of the evening to the most dreadful hurricane/

but the shortness of its duration prevented all those fatal effects which a prolongation of it would certainly have been attended with.

"he music commenced, and I saw a great number of the most beautiful little creatures seiLe the other party,and throw them with great violence into something li(e a snuff)bo!, which they shut down, and one threw itaway with incredible velocity/ then turning to me, he said they whom he had secured were a party of devils,who had wandered from their proper habitation/ and that the vehicle in which they were enclosed would flywith unabating rapidity for ten thousand years, when it would burst of its own accord, and the devils wouldrecover their liberty and faculties, as at the present moment. <e had no sooner finished this relation than themusic ceased, and they all disappeared, leaving me in a state of mind bordering on the confines of despair.

Hhen I had recomposed myself a little, and loo(ing before me with ine!pressible pleasure, I observed thatthe eagles were preparing to light on the pea( of "eneriffe1 they descended on the top of the roc(, but seeing no

possible means of escape if I dismounted determined me to remain where I was. "he eagles sat down seeminglyfatigued, when the heat of the sun soon caused them both to fall asleep, nor did I long resist its fascinating

power. In the cool of the evening, when the sun had retired below the horiLon, I was roused from sleep by theeagle moving under me/ and having stretched myself along its bac(, I sat up, and reassumed my travelling

position, when they both too( wing, and having placed themselves as before, directed their course to 3outh>merica. "he moon shining bright during the whole night, I had a fine view of all the islands in those seas.

>bout the brea( of day we reached the great continent of >merica, that part called "erra ?irma, anddescended on the top of a very high mountain. >t this time the moon, far distant in the west, and obscured bydar( clouds, but #ust afforded light sufficient for me to discover a (ind of shrubbery all around, bearing fruitsomething li(e cabbages, which the eagles began to feed on very eagerly. I endeavoured to discover mysituation, but fogs and passing clouds involved me in the thic(est dar(ness, and what rendered the scene stillmore shoc(ing was the tremendous howling of wild beasts, some of which appeared to be very near1 however, Idetermined to (eep my seat, imagining that the eagle would carry me away if any of them should ma(e a hostileattempt. Hhen daylight began to appear, I thought of e!amining the fruit which I had seen the eagles eat, and assome was hanging which I could easily come at, I too( out my (nife and cut a slice/ but how great was mysurprise to see that it had all the appearance of roast beef regularly mi!ed, both fat and leanP I tasted it, andfound it well flavoured and delicious, then cut several large slices and put in my poc(et, where I found a crustof bread which I had brought from Margate/ too( it out, and found three mus(et)balls that had been lodged in iton 0over cliff. I e!tracted them, and cutting a few slices more, made a hearty meal of bread and cold beef fruit.I then cut down two of the largest that grew near me, and tying them together with one of my garters, hungthem over the eagle&s nec( for another occasion, filling my poc(ets at the same time. Hhile I was settling these

affairs I observed a large fruit li(e an inflated bladder, which I wished to try an e!periment upon1 and stri(ingmy (nife into one of them, a fine pure liAuor li(e <ollands gin rushed out, which the eagles observing, eagerlydran( up from the ground. I cut down the bladder as fast as I could, and saved about half a pint in the bottom of it, which I tasted, and could not distinguish it from the best mountain wine. I dran( it all, and found myself greatly refreshed. %y this time the eagles began to stagger against the shrubs. I endeavoured to (eep my seat,



but was soon thrown to some distance among the bushes. In attempting to rise I put my hand upon a largehedgehog, which happened to lie among the grass upon its bac(1 it instantly closed round my hand, so that Ifound it impossible to sha(e it off. I struc( it several times against the ground without effect/ but while I wasthus employed I heard a rustling among the shrubbery, and loo(ing up, I saw a huge animal within three yardsof me/ I could ma(e no defence, but held out both my hands, when it rushed upon me, and seiLed that on whichthe hedgehog was fi!ed. My hand being soon relieved, I ran to some distance, where I saw the creaturesuddenly drop down and e!pire with the hedgehog in its throat. Hhen the danger was past I went to view theeagles, and found them lying on the grass fast asleep, being into!icated with the liAuor they had dran(. Indeed, I

found myself considerably elevated by it, and seeing everything Auiet, I began to search for some more, which Isoon found/ and having cut down two large bladders, about a gallon each, I tied them together, and hung themover the nec( of the other eagle, and the two smaller ones I tied with a cord round my own waist. <avingsecured a good stoc( of provisions, and perceiving the eagles begin to recover, I again too( my seat. In half anhour they arose ma#estically from the place, without ta(ing the least notice of their incumbrance. Eachreassumed its former station/ and directing their course to the northward, they crossed the Gulf of Me!ico,entered orth >merica, and steered directly for the 7olar regions, which gave me the finest opportunity of viewing this vast continent that can possibly be imagined.

%efore we entered the frigid Lone the cold began to affect me/ but piercing one of my bladders, I too( adraught, and found that it could ma(e no impression on me afterwards. 7assing over <udson&s %ay, I sawseveral of the Company&s ships lying at anchor, and many tribes of Indians marching with their furs to mar(et.

%y this time I was so reconciled to my seat, and become such an e!pert rider, that I could sit up and loo( around me/ but in general I lay along the eagle&s nec(, grasping it in my arms, with my hands immersed in itsfeathers, in order to (eep them warm.

In those cold climates I observed that the eagles flew with greater rapidity, in order, I suppose, to (eep their blood in circulation. In passing %affin&s %ay I saw several large Greenlandmen to the eastward, and manysurprising mountains of ice in those seas.

Hhile I was surveying these wonders of nature it occurred to me that this was a good opportunity to discover the north)west passage, if any such thing e!isted, and not only obtain the reward offered by government, but thehonour of a discovery pregnant with so many advantages to every European nation. %ut while my thoughtswere absorbed in this pleasing reverie I was alarmed by the first eagle stri(ing its head against a solidtransparent substance, and in a moment that which I rode e!perienced the same fate, and both fell downseemingly dead.

<ere our lives must inevitably have terminated, had not a sense of danger, and the singularity of my situation,inspired me with a degree of s(ill and de!terity which enabled us to fall near two miles perpendicular with aslittle inconveniency as if we had been let down with a rope1 for no sooner did I perceive the eagles stri(eagainst a froLen cloud, which is very common near the poles, than 4they being close together5 I laid myself along the bac( of the foremost, and too( hold of its wings to (eep them e!tended, at the same time stretchingout my legs behind to support the wings of the other. "his had the desired effect, and we descended very safe ona mountain of ice, which I supposed to be about three miles above the level of the sea.

I dismounted, unloaded the eagles, opened one of the bladders, and administered some of the liAuor to each

of them, without once considering that the horrors of destruction seemed to have conspired against me. "heroaring of waves, crashing of ice, and the howling of bears, conspired to form a scene the most awful andtremendous1 but notwithstanding this, my concern for the recovery of the eagles was so great, that I wasinsensible of the danger to which I was e!posed. <aving rendered them every assistance in my power, I stoodover them in painful an!iety, fully sensible that it was only by means of them that I could possibly be deliveredfrom these abodes of despair.

%ut suddenly a monstrous bear began to roar behind me, with a voice li(e thunder. I turned round, and seeingthe creature #ust ready to devour me, having the bladder of liAuor in my hands, through fear I sAueeLed it sohard, that it burst, and the liAuor flying in the eyes of the animal, totally deprived it of sight. It instantly turnedfrom me, ran away in a state of distraction, and soon fell over a precipice of ice into the sea, where I saw it nomore.

"he danger being over, I again turned my attention to the eagles, whom I found in a fair way of recovery, andsuspecting that they were faint for want of victuals, I too( one of the beef fruit, cut it into small slices, and

presented them with it, which they devoured with avidity.



<aving given them plenty to eat and drin(, and disposed of the remainder of my provision, I too( possessionof my seat as before. >fter composing myself, and ad#usting everything in the best manner, I began to eat anddrin( very heartily/ and through the effects of the mountain wine, as I called it, was very cheerful, and began tosing a few verses of a song which I had learned when I was a boy1 but the noise soon alarmed the eagles, whohad been asleep, through the Auantity of liAuor which they had dran(, and they rose seemingly much terrified.<appily for me, however, when I was feeding them I had accidentally turned their heads towards the south)east,which course they pursued with a rapid motion. In a few hours I saw the Hestern Isles, and soon after had theine!pressible pleasure of seeing ld England. I too( no notice of the seas or islands over which I passed.

"he eagles descended gradually as they drew near the shore, intending, as I supposed, to alight on one of theHelsh mountains/ but when they came to the distance of about si!ty yards two guns were fired at them, loadedwith balls, one of which too( place in a bladder of liAuor that hung to my waist/ the other entered the breast of the foremost eagle, who fell to the ground, while that which I rode, having received no in#ury, flew away withamaLing swiftness.

"his circumstance alarmed me e!ceedingly, and I began to thin( it was impossible for me to escape with mylife/ but recovering a little, I once more loo(ed down upon the earth, when, to my ine!pressible #oy, I sawMargate at a little distance, and the eagle descending on the old tower whence it had carried me on the morningof the day before. It no sooner came down than I threw myself off, happy to find that I was once more restoredto the world. "he eagle flew away in a few minutes, and I sat down to compose my fluttering spirits, which Idid in a few hours.

I soon paid a visit to my friends, and related these adventures. >maLement stood in every countenance/ their congratulations on my returning in safety were repeated with an unaffected degree of pleasure, and we passedthe evening as we are doing now, every person present paying the highest compliments to my C UR>GE and=ER>CI"$.

THE SECOND VO(UME

PREFACE

TO THE SECOND VO(UME

%aron Munchausen has certainly been productive of much benefit to the literary world/ the numbers of

egregious travellers have been such, that they demanded a very Gulliver to surpass them. If %aron de "ottdauntlessly discharged an enormous piece of artillery, the %aron Munchausen has done more/ he has ta(en itand swam with it across the sea. Hhen travellers are solicitous to be the heroes of their own story, surely theymust admit to superiority, and blush at seeing themselves out)done by the renowned Munchausen1 I doubtwhether any one hitherto, 7antagruel, Gargantua, Captain 'emuel, or 0e "ott, has been able to out)do our %aron in this species of e!cellence1 and as at present our curiosity seems much directed to the interior of >frica,it must be edifying to have the real relation of Munchausen&s adventures there before any further intelligencearrives/ for he seems to adapt himself and his e!ploits to the spirit of the times, and recounts what he thin(sshould be most interesting to his auditors.

I do not say that the %aron, in the following stories, means a satire on any political matters whatever. o/ butif the reader understands them so, I cannot help it.

If the %aron meets with a parcel of negro ships carrying whites into slavery to wor( upon their plantations ina cold climate, should we therefore imagine that he intends a reflection on the present traffic in human fleshS>nd that, if the negroes should do so, it would be simple #ustice, as retaliation is the law of GodP If we were tothin( this a reflection on any present commercial or political matter, we should be tempted to imagine, perhaps,



<aving passed a whole night without being able to sleep for the vivid imagination of >frican discoveries, Ihastened to the levee of my illustrious friend <ilaro ?rosticos, and having mentioned my intention with all thevigour of fancy, he gravely considered my words, and after some awful meditations thus he spo(e1 Olo'g%9 ma

genesat9 ist'm &'llana%9 c'm (era <argos -elgarasa% ese'm -algo -artigos triang'lissim's@ <owever, addedhe, it behoveth thee to consider and ponder well upon the perils and the multitudinous dangers in the way of that wight who thus advanceth in all the perambulation of adventures1 and verily, most valiant sire and %aron, Ihope thou wilt demean thyself with all that laudable gravity and precaution which, as is related in the threehundred and forty)seventh chapter of the 7rophilactics, is of more consideration than all the merit in this

terraAueous globe. $es, most truly do I advise thee unto thy good, and spea( unto thee, most valiantMunchausen, with the greatest esteem, and wish thee to succeed in thy voyage/ for it is said, that in the interior realms of >frica there are tribes that can see but #ust three inches and a half beyond the e!tremity of their noses/and verily thou shouldest moderate thyself, even sure and slow/ they stumble who wal( fast. %ut we shall bringyou unto the 'ady ?ragrantia, and have her opinion of the matter. <e then too( from his poc(et a cap of dignity,such as described in the most honourable and antiAue heraldry, and placing it upon my head, addressed me thus1

D2>s thou seemest again to revive the spirit of ancient adventure, permit me to place upon thy head thisfavour, as a mar( of the esteem in which I hold thy valorous disposition.2

"he 'ady ?ragrantia, my dear friends, was one of the most divine creatures in all Great %ritain, and wasdesperately in love with me. 3he was drawing my portrait upon a piece of white satin, when the most noble<ilaro ?rosticos advanced. <e pointed to the cap of dignity which he had placed upon my head. 2I do declare,<ilaro,2 said the lovely ?ragrantia, 2&tis pretty, &tis interesting/ I love you, and I li(e you, my dear %aron,2 saidshe, putting on another plume1 2this gives it an air more delicate and more fantastical. I do thus, my dear Munchausen, as your friend, yet you can re#ect or accept my present #ust as you please/ but I li(e the fancy, &tisa good one, and I mean to improve it1 and against whatever enemies you go, I shall have the sweet satisfactionto remember you bear my favour on your headP2

I snatched it with trepidation, and gracefully dropping on my (nees, I three times (issed it with all the raptureof romantic love. 2I swear,2 cried I, 2by thy bright eyes, and by the lovely whiteness of thine arm, that nosavage, tyrant, or enemy upon the face of the earth shall despoil me of this favour, while one drop of the bloodof the Munchausens doth circulate in my veinsP I will bear it triumphant through the realms of >frica, whither Inow intend my course, and ma(e it respected, even in the court of 7rester ohn.2

2I admire your spirit,2 replied she, 2and shall use my utmost interest at court to have you despatched withevery pomp, and as soon as possible/ but here comes a most brilliant company indeed, 'ady CarolinaHilhelmina >melia 3(eggs, 'ord 3pigot, and 'ady ?aucet, and the Countess of %elleair.2

>fter the ceremonies of introduction to this company were over, we proceeded to consult upon the business/and as the cause met with general applause, it was immediately determined that I should proceed without delay,as soon as I obtained the sovereign approbation. 2I am convinced,2 said 'ord 3pigot, 2that if there be any thingreally un(nown and worthy of our most ardent curiosity, it must be in the immense regions of >frica/ thatcountry, which seems to be the oldest on the globe, and yet with the greater part of which we are almost utterlyunacAuainted/ what prodigious wealth of gold and diamonds must not lie concealed in those torrid regions,when the very rivers on the coast pour forth continual specimens of golden sandP &"is my opinion, therefore,that the %aron deserves the applause of all Europe for his spirit, and merits the most powerful assistance of thesovereign.2

3o flattering an approbation, you may be sure, was delightful to my heart, and with every confidence and #oyI suffered them to ta(e me to court that instant. >fter the usual ceremonies of introduction, suffice it to say that Imet with every honour and applause that my most sanguine e!pectations could demand. I had always a taste for the fashionable +e ne sais 5'oi of the most elegant society, and in the presence of all the sovereigns of Europe Iever found myself Auite at home, and e!perienced from the whole court the most flattering esteem andadmiration. I remember, one particular day, the fate of the unfortunate MarAuis de %ellecourt. "he Countess of Rassinda, who accompanied him, loo(ed most divinely. 2$es, I am confident,2 said the MarAuis de %ellecourtto me, 2that I have acted according to the strictest sentiments of #ustice and of loyalty to my sovereign. Hhatstronger breast)plate than a heart untaintedS and though I did not receive a word nor a loo(, yet I cannot thin(D

no, it were impossible to be misrepresented. Conscious of my own integrity, I will try againDI will go boldlyup.2 "he MarAuis de %ellecourt saw the opportunity/ he advanced three paces, put his hand upon his breast and

bowed. 27ermit me,2 said he, 2with the most profound respect, toDD.2 <is tongue falteredDhe could scarcely believe his sight, for at that moment the whole company were moving out of the room. <e found himself almostalone, deserted by every one. 2HhatP2 said he, 2and did he turn upon his heel with the most mar(ed contemptS



Hould he not spea( to meS Hould he not even hear me utter a word in my defenceS2 <is heart died within him Dnot even a loo(, a smile from any one. 2My friendsP 0o they not (now meS 0o they not see meS >lasP theyfear to catch the contagion of myDD. "hen,2 said he, 2adieuPD&tis more than I can bear. I shall go to mycountry seat, and never, never will return. >dieu, fond court, adieuPD2

"he venerable MarAuis de %ellecourt stopped for a moment ere he entered his carriage. "hrice he loo(ed bac(, and thrice he wiped the starting tear from his eye. 2$es,2 said he, 2for once, at least, truth shall be foundD in the bottom of a wellP2

7eace to thy ghost, most noble marAuisP a ;ing of (ings shall pity thee/ and thousands who are yet unbornshall owe their happiness to thee, and have cause to bless the thousands, perhaps, that shall never even (nowthy name/ but Munchausen&s self shall celebrate thy gloryP

CHAPTER ))II

Pre*arations &or t%e $aron!s e0*e(ition into A&rica:Descri*tion o& %is c%ariot; t%e -ea'ties o& its interior (ecorations; t%e animals t%at (rew it9 an( t%e mec%anism o& t%e w%eels8

Everything being concluded, and having received my instructions for the voyage, I was conducted by theillustrious <ilaro ?rosticos, the 'ady ?ragrantia, and a prodigious crowd of nobility, and placed sitting upon thesummit of the whale&s bones at the palace/ and having remained in this situation for three days and three nights,as a trial ordeal, and a specimen of my perseverance and resolution, the third hour after midnight they seatedme in the chariot of Kueen Mab. It was a prodigious dimension, large enough to contain more stowage than thetun of <eidelberg, and globular li(e a haLel)nut1 in fact, it seemed to be really a haLel)nut grown to a moste!travagant dimension, and that a great worm of proportionable enormity had bored a hole in the shell. "hroughthis same entrance I was ushered. It was as large as a coach)door, and I too( my seat in the centre, a (ind of chair self)balanced without touching anything, li(e the fancied tomb of Mahomet. "he whole interior surface of the nutshell appeared a luminous representation of all the stars of heaven, the fi!ed stars, the planets, and a

comet. "he stars were as large as those worn by our first nobility, and the comet, e!cessively brilliant, seemedas if you had assembled all the eyes of the beautiful girls in the (ingdom, and combined them, li(e a peacoc(&s plumage, into the form of a cometDthat is, a globe, and a bearded tail to it, diminishing gradually to a point."his beautiful constellation seemed very sportive and delightful. It was much in the form of a tadpoleP and,without ceasing, went, full of playful giddiness, up and down, all over the heaven on the concave surface of thenutshell. ne time it would be at that part of the heavens under my feet, and in the ne!t minute would be over my head. It was never at rest, but for ever going east, west, north, or south, and paid no more respect to thedifferent worlds than if they were so many lanterns without reflectors. 3ome of them he would dash against and

push out of their places/ others he would burn up and consume to ashes1 and others again he would split intofritters, and their fragments would instantly ta(e a globular form, li(e spilled Auic(silver, and become satellitesto whatever other worlds they should happen to meet with in their career. In short, the whole seemed an

epitome of the creation, past, present, and future/ and all that passes among the stars during one thousand yearswas here generally performed in as many seconds.

I surveyed all the beauties of the chariot with wonder and delight. 2Certainly,2 cried I, 2this is heaven inminiatureP2 In short, I too( the reins in my hand. %ut before I proceed on my adventures, I shall mention therest of my attendant furniture. "he chariot was drawn by a team of nine bulls harnessed to it, three after three.In the first ran( was a most tremendous bull named ohn Mowmows(y/ the rest were called ac(s in general,

but not dignified by any particular denomination. "hey were all shod for the #ourney, not indeed li(e horses,with iron, or as bulloc(s commonly are, to drag on a cart/ but were shod with men&s s(ulls. Each of their feetwas, hoof and all, crammed into a man&s head, cut off for the purpose, and fastened therein with a (ind of cement or paste, so that the s(ull seemed to be a part of the foot and hoof of the animal. Hith these s(ull)shoesthe creatures could perform astonishing #ourneys, and slide upon the water, or upon the ocean, with greatvelocity. "he harnesses were fastened with golden buc(les, and dec(ed with studs in a superb style, and thecreatures were ridden by nine postillions, cric(ets of a great siLe, as large as mon(eys, who sat sAuat upon theheads of the bulls, and were continually chirping at a most infernal rate, loud in proportion to their bodies.



"he wheels of the chariot consisted of upwards of ten thousand springs, formed so as to give the greater impetuosity to the vehicle, and were more comple! than a doLen cloc(s li(e that of 3trasburgh. "he e!ternal of the chariot was adorned with banners, and a superb festoon of laurel that formerly shaded me on horsebac(.>nd now, having given you a very concise description of my machine for travelling into >frica, which youmust allow to be far superior to the apparatus of Monsieur =aillant, I shall proceed to relate the e!ploits of myvoyage.

CHAPTER ))III

T%e $aron *rocee(s on %is voyage:Convoys a s5'a(ron to i-raltar :Declines t%e acce*tance o& t%eislan( o& Can(ia:His c%ariot (amage( -y Pom*ey!s Pillar an( Cleo*atra!s Nee(le:T%e $aron o't=(oes

Ale0an(er:$rea<s %is c%ariot9 an( s*lits a great roc< at t%e Ca*e o& oo( Ho*e8 "a(ing the reins in my hand, while the music gave a general salute, I crac(ed my whip, away they went, and

in three hours I found myself #ust between the Isle of Hight and the main land of England. <ere I remained four days, until I had received part of my accompaniment, which I was ordered to ta(e under my convoy. &"was a

sAuadron of men)of)war that had been a long time prepared for the %altic, but which were now destined for theMediterranean. %y the assistance of large hoo(s and eyes, e!actly such as are worn in our hats, but of a greater siLe, some hundredweight each, the men)of)war hoo(ed themselves on to the wheels of the vehicle1 and, in fact,nothing could be more simple or convenient, because they could be hoo(ed or unhoo(ed in an instant with theutmost facility. In short, having given a general discharge of their artillery, and three cheers, I crac(ed my whip,away we went, helter s(elter, and in si! #iffies I found myself and all my retinue safe and in good spirits #ust atthe roc( of Gibraltar. <ere I unhoo(ed my sAuadron, and having ta(en an affectionate leave of the officers, Isuffered them to proceed in their ordinary manner to the place of their destination. "he whole garrison werehighly delighted with the novelty of my vehicle/ and at the pressing solicitations of the governor and officers Iwent ashore, and too( a view of that barren old roc(, about which more powder has been fired away than would

purchase twice as much fertile ground in any part of the worldP Mounting my chariot, I too( the reins, and againmade forward, in mad career, down the Mediterranean to the isle of Candia. <ere I received despatches fromthe 3ublime 7orte, entreating me to assist in the war against Russia, with a reward of the whole island of Candiafor my alliance. >t first I hesitated, thin(ing that the island of Candia would be a most valuable acAuisition tothe sovereign who at that time employed me, and that the most delicious wines, sugar, Tc., in abundance wouldflourish on the island/ yet, when I considered the trade of the East India Company, which would most probablysuffer by the intercourse with 7ersia through the Mediterranean, I at once re#ected the proposal, and hadafterwards the than(s of the <onourable the <ouse of Commons for my propriety and political discernment.

<aving been properly refreshed at Candia, I again proceeded, and in a short time arrived in the land of Egypt."he land of this country, at least that part of it near the sea, is very low, so that I came upon it ere I was aware,and the 7illar of 7ompey got entangled in the various wheels of the machine, and damaged the whole

considerably. 3till I drove on through thic( and thin, till, passing over that great obelis(, the eedle of Cleopatra, the wor( got entangled again, and #olted at a miserable rate over the mud and swampy ground of allthat country/ yet my poor bulls trotted on with astonishing labour across the Isthmus of 3ueL into the Red 3ea,and left a trac(, an obscure channel, which has since been ta(en by 0e "ott for the remains of a canal cut bysome of the 7tolemies from the Red 3ea to the Mediterranean/ but, as you perceive, was in reality no more thanthe trac( of my chariot, the car of Kueen Mab.

>s the artists at present in that country are nothing wonderful, though the ancient Egyptians, &tis said, weremost astonishing fellows, I could not procure any new coach)springs, or have a possibility of setting mymachine to rights in the (ingdom of Egypt/ and as I could not presume to attempt another #ourney overland, andthe great mountains of marble beyond the source of the ile, I thought it most eligible to ma(e the best way Icould, by sea, to the Cape of Good <ope, where I supposed I should get some 0utch smiths and carpenters, or

perhaps some English artists/ and my vehicle being properly repaired, it was my intention thence to proceed,overland, through the heart of >frica. "he surface of the water, I well (new, afforded less resistance to thewheels of the machineDit passed along the waves li(e the chariot of eptune/ and in short, having gotten upon



the Red 3ea, we scudded away to admiration through the pass of %abelmandeb to the great Hestern coast of >frica, where >le!ander had not the courage to venture.

>nd really, my friends, if >le!ander had ventured toward the Cape of Good <ope he most probably wouldhave never returned. It is difficult to determine whether there were then any inhabitants in the more southern

parts of >frica or not/ yet, at any rate, this conAueror of the world would have made but a nonsensicaladventure/ his miserable ships, not contrived for a long voyage, would have become lea(y, and foundered,

before he could have doubled the Cape, and left his Ma#esty fairly beyond the limits of the then (nown world.$et it would have been an august e!it for an >le!ander, after having subdued 7ersia and India, to be wandering

the 'ord (nows where, to up or >mmon, perhaps, or on a voyage to the moon, as an Indian chief once said toCaptain Coo(.

%ut, for my part, I was far more successful than >le!ander/ I drove on with the most amaLing rapidity, andthin(ing to halt on shore at the Cape, I unfortunately drove too close, and shattered the right side wheels of myvehicle against the roc(, now called the "able Mountain. "he machine went against it with such impetuosity ascompletely shivered the roc( in a horiLontal direction/ so that the summit of the mountain, in the form of asemi)sphere, was (noc(ed into the sea, and the steep mountain becoming thereby flattened at the top, has sincereceived the name of the "able Mountain, from its similarity to that piece of furniture.

ust as this part of the mountain was (noc(ed off, the ghost of the Cape, that tremendous sprite which cutssuch a figure in the 'usiad, was discovered sitting sAuat in an e!cavation formed for him in the centre of the

mountain. <e seemed #ust li(e a young bee in his little cell before he comes forth, or li(e a bean in a bean)pod/and when the upper part of the mountain was split across and (noc(ed off, the superior half of his person wasdiscovered. <e appeared of a bottle)blue colour, and started, daLLled with the une!pected glare of the light1hearing the dreadful rattle of the wheels, and the loud chirping of the cric(ets, he was thunder)struc(, andinstantly giving a shrie(, sun( down ten thousand fathoms into the earth, while the mountain, vomiting outsome smo(e, silently closed up, and left not a trace behindP

CHAPTER ))IVT%e $aron sec'res %is c%ariot9 Bc89 at t%e Ca*e an( ta<es %is *assage &or Englan( in a %omewar(=-o'n(

In(iaman:6rec<e( '*on an islan( o& ice9 near t%e coast o& 'inea:Esca*es &rom t%e wrec<9 an( rears avariety o& vegeta-les '*on t%e islan(:"eets some vessels -elonging to t%e negroes -ringing w%ite slaves &rom

E'ro*e9 in retaliation9 to wor< '*on t%eir *lantations in a col( climate near t%e )o't% Pole:Arrives in Englan(9 an( lays an acco'nt o& %is e0*e(ition -e&ore t%e Privy Co'ncil: reat *re*arations &or a newe0*e(ition:T%e )*%in09 og an( "agog9 an( a great com*any atten( %im:T%e i(eas o& Hilaro Frosticosres*ecting t%e interior *arts o& A&rica8

I perceived with grief and consternation the miscarriage of all my apparatus/ yet I was not absolutelyde#ected1 a great mind is never (nown but in adversity. Hith permission of the 0utch governor the chariot was

properly laid up in a great storehouse, erected at the water&s edge, and the bulls received every refreshment possible after so terrible a voyage. Hell, you may be sure they deserved it, and therefore every attendance wasengaged for them, until I should return.

>s it was not possible to do anything more I too( my passage in a homeward)bound Indiaman, to return to'ondon, and lay the matter before the 7rivy Council.

He met with nothing particular until we arrived upon the coast of Guinea, where, to our utter astonishment,we perceived a great hill, seemingly of glass, advancing against us in the open sea/ the rays of the sun werereflected upon it with such splendour, that it was e!tremely difficult to gaLe at the phenomenon. I immediately(new it to be an island of ice, and though in so very warm a latitude, determined to ma(e all possible sail fromsuch horrible danger. He did so, but all in vain, for about eleven o&cloc( at night, blowing a very hard gale, and

e!ceedingly dar(, we struc( upon the island. othing could eAual the distraction, the shrie(s, and despair of thewhole crew, until I, (nowing there was not a moment to be lost, cheered up their spirits, and bade them notdespond, but do as I should reAuest them. In a few minutes the vessel was half full of water, and the enormouscastle of ice that seemed to hem us in on every side, in some places falling in hideous fragments upon the dec(,(illed one half of the crew/ upon which, getting upon the summit of the mast, I contrived to ma(e it fast to a



great promontory of the ice, and calling to the remainder of the crew to follow me, we all escaped from thewrec(, and got upon the summit of the island.

"he rising sun soon gave us a dreadful prospect of our situation, and the loss, or rather iceification, of thevessel/ for being closed in on every side with castles of ice during the night, she was absolutely froLen over and

buried in such a manner that we could behold her under our feet, even in the central solidity of the island.<aving debated what was best to be done, we immediately cut down through the ice, and got up some of thecables of the vessel, and the boats, which, ma(ing fast to the island, we towed it with all our might, determinedto bring home island and all, or perish in the attempt. n the summit of the island we placed what oa(um and

dregs of every (ind of matter we could get from the vessel, which, in the space of a very few hours, on accountof the liAuefying of the ice, and the warmth of the sun, were transformed into a very fine manure/ and as I hadsome seeds of e!otic vegetables in my poc(et, we shortly had a sufficiency of fruits and roots growing upon theisland to supply the whole crew, especially the bread)fruit tree, a few plants of which had been in the vessel/and another tree, which bore plum)puddings so very hot, and with such e!Auisite proportion of sugar, fruit, Tc.,that we all ac(nowledged it was not possible to taste anything of the (ind more delicious in England1 in short,though the scurvy had made such dreadful progress among the crew before our stri(ing upon the ice, the supplyof vegetables, and especially the bread)fruit and pudding)fruit, put an almost immediate stop to the distemper.

He had not proceeded thus many wee(s, advancing with incredible fatigue by continual towing, when we fellin with a fleet of egro)men, as they call them. "hese wretches, I must inform you, my dear friends, had foundmeans to ma(e priLes of those vessels from some Europeans upon the coast of Guinea, and tasting the sweets of lu!ury, had formed colonies in several new discovered islands near the 3outh 7ole, where they had a variety of

plantations of such matters as would only grow in the coldest climates. >s the blac( inhabitants of Guinea wereunsuited to the climate and e!cessive cold of the country, they formed the diabolical pro#ect of getting Christianslaves to wor( for them. ?or this purpose they sent vessels every year to the coast of 3cotland, the northern

parts of Ireland, and Hales, and were even sometimes seen off the coast of Cornwall. >nd having purchased, or entrapped by fraud or violence, a great number of men, women, and children, they proceeded with their cargoesof human flesh to the other end of the world, and sold them to their planters, where they were flogged intoobedience, and made to wor( li(e horses all the rest of their lives.

My blood ran cold at the idea, while every one on the island also e!pressed his horror that such an iniAuitoustraffic should be suffered to e!ist. %ut, e!cept by open violence, it was found impossible to destroy the trade, on

account of a barbarous pre#udice, entertained of late by the negroes, that the white people have no soulsP<owever, we were determined to attac( them, and steering down our island upon them, soon overwhelmedthem1 we saved as many of the white people as possible, but pushed all the blac(s into the water again. "he

poor creatures we saved from slavery were so over#oyed, that they wept aloud through gratitude, and wee!perienced every delightful sensation to thin( what happiness we should shower upon their parents, their

brothers and sisters and children, by bringing them home safe, redeemed from slavery, to the bosom of their native country.

<aving happily arrived in England, I immediately laid a statement of my voyage, Tc., before the 7rivyCouncil, and entreated an immediate assistance to travel into >frica, and, if possible, refit my former machine,and ta(e it along with the rest. Everything was instantly granted to my satisfaction, and I received orders to getmyself ready for departure as soon as possible.

>s the Emperor of China had sent a most curious animal as a present to Europe, which was (ept in the"ower, and it being of an enormous stature, and capable of performing the voyage with .clat , she was orderedto attend me. 3he was called 3phin!, and was one of the most tremendous though magnificent figures I ever

beheld. 3he was harnessed with superb trappings to a large flat)bottomed boat, in which was placed an edificeof wood, e!actly resembling Hestminster <all. "wo balloons were placed over it, tac(led by a number of ropesto the boat, to (eep up a proper eAuilibrium, and prevent it from overturning, or filling, from the prodigiousweight of the fabric.

"he interior of the edifice was decorated with seats, in the form of an amphitheatre, and crammed as full as itcould hold with ladies and lords, as a council and retinue for your humble servant. early in the centre was aseat elegantly decorated for myself, and on either side of me were placed the famous Gog and Magog in alltheir pomp.

"he 'ord =iscount Gosamer being our postillion, we floated gallantly down the river, the noble 3phin!gambolling li(e the huge leviathan, and towing after her the boat and balloons.



"hus we advanced, sailing gently, into the open sea/ being calm weather, we could scarcely feel the motionof the vehicle, and passed our time in grand debate upon the glorious intention of our voyage, and thediscoveries that would result.

2I am of opinion,2 said my noble friend, <ilaro ?rosticos, 2that >frica was originally inhabited for the greater part, or, I may say, sub#ugated by lions which, ne!t to man, seem to be the most dreaded of all mortal tyrants."he country in generalDat least, what we have been hitherto able to discover, seems rather inimical to humanlife/ the intolerable dryness of the place, the burning sands that overwhelm whole armies and cities in generalruin, and the hideous life many roving hordes are compelled to lead, incline me to thin(, that if ever we form

any great settlements therein, it will become the grave of our countrymen. $et it is nearer to us than the EastIndies, and I cannot but imagine, that in many places every production of China, and of the East and HestIndies, would flourish, if properly attended to. >nd as the country is so prodigiously e!tensive and un(nown,what a source of discovery must not it containP In fact, we (now less about the interior of >frica than we do of the moon/ for in this latter we measure the very prominences, and observe the varieties and ineAualities of thesurface through our glassesD

2?orests and mountains on her spotted orb.2%ut we see nothing in the interior of >frica, but what some compilers of maps or geographers are fanciful

enough to imagine. Hhat a happy event, therefore, should we not e!pect from a voyage of discovery andcolonisation underta(en in so magnificent a style as the presentP what a prideDwhat an acAuisition to

philosophyP2

CHAPTER ))V

Co'nt osamer t%rown -y )*%in0 into t%e snow on t%e to* o& Teneri&&e: og an( "agog con('ct )*%in0 &or t%e rest o& t%e voyage:T%e $aron arrives at t%e Ca*e9 an( 'nites %is &ormer c%ariot9 Bc89 to %is new retin'e:

Passes into A&rica9 *rocee(ing &rom t%e Ca*e nort%war(s:De&eats a %ost o& lions -y a c'rio's stratagem:

Travels t%ro'g% an immense (esert:His w%ole com*any9 c%ariot9 Bc89 overw%elme( -y a w%irlwin( o& san(: E0tricates t%em9 an( arrives in a &ertile co'ntry8 "he brave Count Gosamer, with a pair of hell)fire spurs on, riding upon 3phin!, directed the whole retinue

towards the Madeiras. %ut the Count had no small share of an amiable vanity, and perceiving great multitudesof people, Gascons, Tc., assembled upon the ?rench coast, he could not refrain from showing some singular capers, such as they had never seen before1 but especially when he observed all the members of the ational>ssembly e!tend themselves along the shore, as a piece of ?rench politeness, to honour this e!pedition, withRousseau, =oltaire, and %eelLebub at their head/ he set spurs to 3phin!, and at the same time cut and crac(edaway as hard as he could, holding in the reins with all his might, striving to ma(e the creature plunge and showsome uncommon diversion. %ut sul(y and ill)tempered was 3phin! at the time1 she plunged indeedDsuch adevil of a plunge, that she dashed him in one #er( over her head, and he fell precipitately into the water beforeher. It was in the %ay of %iscay, all the world (nows a very boisterous sea, and 3phin!, fearing he would bedrowned, never turned to the left or the right out of her way, but advancing furious, #ust stooped her head alittle, and supped the poor count off the water, into her mouth, together with the Auantity of two or three tuns of water, which she must have ta(en in along with him, but which were, to such an enormous creature as 3phin!,nothing more than a spoonful would be to any of you or me. 3he swallowed him, but when she had got him inher stomach, his long spurs so scratched and tic(led her, that they produced the effect of an emetic. o sooner was he in, but out he was sAuirted with the most horrible impetuosity, li(e a ball or a shell from the calibre of amortar. 3phin! was at this time Auite sea)sic(, and the unfortunate count was driven forth li(e a s(y)roc(et, andlanded upon the pea( of "eneriffe, plunged over head and ears in the snowD re5'iescat in *ace@

I perceived all this mischief from my seat in the ar(, but was in such a convulsion of laughter that I could not

utter an intelligible word. >nd now 3phin!, deprived of her postillion, went on in a LigLag direction, andgambolled away after a most dreadful manner. >nd thus had everything gone to wrec(, had I not given instantorders to Gog and Magog to sally forth. "hey plunged into the water, and swimming on each side, got at lengthright before the animal, and then seiLed the reins. "hus they continued swimming on each side, li(e tritons,



holding the muLLle of 3phin!, while I, sallying forth astride upon the creature&s bac(, steered forward on our voyage to the Cape of Good <ope.

>rriving at the Cape, I immediately gave orders to repair my former chariot and machines, which were verye!peditiously performed by the e!cellent artists I had brought with me from Europe. >nd now everything beingrefitted, we launched forth upon the water1 perhaps there never was anything seen more glorious or moreaugust. &"was magnificent to behold 3phin! ma(e her obeisance on the water, and the cric(ets chirp upon the

bulls in return of the salute/ while Gog and Magog, advancing, too( the reins of the great ohn Mowmows(y,and leading towards us chariot and all, instantly disposed of them to the forepart of the ar( by hoo(s and eyes,

and tac(led 3phin! before all the bulls. "hus the whole had a most tremendous and triumphal appearance. Infront floated forwards the mighty 3phin!, with Gog and Magog on each side/ ne!t followed in order the bullswith cric(ets upon their heads/ and then advanced the chariot of Kueen Mab, containing the curious seat andorrery of heaven/ after which appeared the boat and ar( of council, overtopped with two balloons, which gavean air of greater lightness and elegance to the whole. I placed in the galleries under the balloons, and on the

bac(s of the bulls, a number of e!cellent vocal performers, with martial music of clarionets and trumpets. "heysung the 2Hatery 0angers,2 and the 27omp of 0eep CeruleanP2 "he sun shone glorious on the water while the

procession advanced toward the land, under five hundred arches of ice, illuminated with coloured lights, andadorned in the most grotesAue and fanciful style with sea)weed, elegant festoons, and shells of every (ind/while a thousand water)spouts danced eternally before and after us, attracting the water from the sea in a (indof cone, and suddenly uniting with the most fantastical thunder and lightning.

<aving landed our whole retinue, we immediately began to proceed toward the heart of >frica, but firstthought it e!pedient to place a number of wheels under the ar( for its greater facility of advancing. He

#ourneyed nearly due north for several days, and met with nothing remar(able e!cept the astonishment of thesavage natives to behold our eAuipage.

"he 0utch Government at the Cape, to do them #ustice, gave us every possible assistance for the e!pedition. I presume they had received instruction on that head from their <igh Mightinesses in <olland. <owever, they presented us with a specimen of some of the most e!cellent of their Cape wine, and showed us every politenessin their power. >s to the face of the country, as we advanced, it appeared in many places capable of everycultivation, and of abundant fertility. "he natives and <ottentots of this part of >frica have been freAuentlydescribed by travellers, and therefore it is not necessary to say any more about them. %ut in the more interior

parts of >frica the appearance, manners, and genius of the people are totally different.He directed our course by the compass and the stars, getting every day prodigious Auantities of game in the

woods, and at night encamping within a proper enclosure for fear of the wild beasts. ne whole day in particular we heard on every side, among the hills, the horrible roaring of lions, resounding from roc( to roc( li(e bro(en thunder. It seemed as if there was a general rendeLvous of all these savage animals to fall upon our

party. "hat whole day we advanced with caution, our hunters scarcely venturing beyond pistol shot from thecaravan for fear of dissolution. >t night we encamped as usual, and threw up a circular entrenchment round our tents. He had scarce retired to repose when we found ourselves serenaded by at least one thousand lions,approaching eAually on every side, and within a hundred paces. ur cattle showed the most horrible symptomsof fear, all trembling, and in cold perspiration. I directly ordered the whole company to stand to their arms, andnot to ma(e any noise by firing till I should command them. I then too( a large Auantity of tar, which I had

brought with our caravan for that purpose, and strewed it in a continued stream round the encampment, withinwhich circle of tar I immediately placed another train or circle of gunpowder, and having ta(en this precaution,I an!iously waited the lions& approach. "hese dreadful animals, (nowing, I presume, the force of our troop,advanced very slowly, and with caution, approaching on every side of us with an eAual pace, and growling inhideous concert, so as to resemble an earthAua(e, or some similar convulsion of the world. Hhen they had atlength advanced and steeped all their paws in the tar, they put their noses to it, smelling it as if it were blood,and daubed their great bushy hair and whis(ers with it eAual to their paws. >t that very instant, when, inconcert, they were to give the mortal dart upon us, I discharged a pistol at the train of gunpowder, whichinstantly e!ploded on every side, made all the lions recoil in general uproar, and ta(e to flight with the utmost

precipitation. In an instant we could behold them scattered through the woods at some distance, roaring in

agony, and moving about li(e so many Hill)o&)the)Hisps, their paws and faces all on fire from the tar and thegun)powder. I then ordered a general pursuit1 we followed them on every side through the woods, their ownlight serving as our guide, until, before the rising of the sun, we followed into their fastnesses and shot or otherwise destroyed every one of them, and during the whole of our #ourney after we never heard the roaring of a lion, nor did any wild beast presume to ma(e another attac( upon our party, which shows the e!cellence of



immediate presence of mind, and the terror inspired into the savage enemies by a proper and well)timed proceeding.

He at length arrived on the confines of an immeasurable desertDan immense plain, e!tending on every sideof us li(e an ocean. ot a tree, nor a shrub, nor a blade of grass was to be seen, but all appeared an e!treme finesand, mi!ed with gold)dust and little spar(ling pearls.

"he gold)dust and pearls appeared to us of little value, because we could have no e!pectation of returning toEngland for a considerable time. He observed, at a great distance, something li(e a smo(e arising #ust over theverge of the horiLon, and loo(ing with our telescopes we perceived it to be a whirlwind tearing up the sand andtossing it about in the heavens with frightful impetuosity. I immediately ordered my company to erect a moundaround us of a great siLe, which we did with astonishing labour and perseverance, and then roofed it over withcertain plan(s and timber, which we had with us for the purpose. ur labour was scarcely finished when thesand came rolling in li(e the waves of the sea/ &twas a storm and river of sand united. It continued to advance inthe same direction, without intermission, for three days, and completely covered over the mound we haderected, and buried us all within. "he intense heat of the place was intolerable/ but guessing, by the cessation of the noise, that the storm was passed, we set about digging a passage to the light of day again, which we effectedin a very short time, and ascending, perceived that the whole had been so completely covered with the sand,that there appeared no hills, but one continued plain, with ineAualities or ridges on it li(e the waves of the sea.He soon e!tricated our vehicle and retinue from the burning sands, but not without great danger, as the heatwas very violent, and began to proceed on our voyage. 3torms of sand of a similar nature several times attac(edus, but by using the same precautions we preserved ourselves repeatedly from destruction. <aving travelledmore than nine thousand miles over this inhospitable plain, e!posed to the perpendicular rays of a burning sun,without ever meeting a rivulet, or a shower from heaven to refresh us, we at length became almost desperate,when, to our ine!pressible #oy, we beheld some mountains at a great distance, and on our nearer approachobserved them covered with a carpet of verdure and groves and woods. othing could appear more romantic or

beautiful than the roc(s and precipices intermingled with flowers and shrubs of every (ind, and palm)trees of such a prodigious siLe as to surpass anything ever seen in Europe. ?ruits of all (inds appeared growing wild inthe utmost abundance, and antelopes and sheep and buffaloes wandered about the groves and valleys in

profusion. "he trees resounded with the melody of birds, and everything displayed a general scene of ruralhappiness and #oy.

CHAPTER ))VI

A &east on live -'lls an( <ava:T%e in%a-itants a(mire t%e E'ro*ean a(vent'rers:T%e Em*eror comes tomeet t%e $aron9 an( *ays %im great com*liments:T%e in%a-itants o& t%e centre o& A&rica (escen(e( &rom t%e

*eo*le o& t%e moon *rove( -y an inscri*tion in A&rica9 an( -y t%e analogy o& t%eir lang'age9 w%ic% is also t%e same wit% t%at o& t%e ancient )cyt%ians:T%e $aron is (eclare( sovereign o& t%e interior o& A&rica on t%e

(ecease o& t%e Em*eror:He en(eavo'rs to a-olis% t%e c'stom o& eating live -'lls9 w%ic% e0cites m'c%(iscontent:T%e a(vice o& Hilaro Frosticos '*on t%e occasion:T%e $aron ma<es a s*eec% to an Assem-ly o& t%e states9 w%ic% only e0cites greater m'rm'rs:He cons'lts wit% Hilaro Frosticos8

<aving passed over the nearest mountains we entered a delightful vale, where we perceived a multitude of persons at a feast of living bulls, whose flesh they cut away with great (nives, ma(ing a table of the creature&scarcase, serenaded by the bellowing of the unfortunate animal. othing seemed reAuisite to add to the barbarityof this feast but <ava , made as described in Coo(&s voyages, and at the conclusion of the feast we perceivedthem brewing this liAuor, which they dran( with the utmost avidity. ?rom that moment, inspired with an idea of universal benevolence, I determined to abolish the custom of eating live flesh and drin(ing of (ava. %ut I (newthat such a thing could not be immediately effected, whatever in future time might be performed.

<aving rested ourselves during a few days, we determined to set out towards the principal city of the empire."he singularity of our appearance was spo(en of all over the country as a phenomenon. "he multitude loo(edupon 3phin!, the bulls, the cric(ets, the balloons, and the whole company, as something more than terrestrial,

but especially the thunder of our fire)arms, which struc( horror and amaLement into the whole nation.



He at length arrived at the metropolis, situated on the ban(s of a noble river, and the emperor, attended by allhis court, came out in grand procession to meet us. "he emperor appeared mounted on a dromedary, royallycaparisoned, with all his attendants on foot through respect for his Ma#esty. <e was rather above the middlestature of that country, four feet three inches in height, with a countenance, li(e all his countrymen, as white assnowP <e was preceded by a band of most e!Auisite music, according to the fashion of the country, and hiswhole retinue halted within about fifty paces of our troop. He returned the salute by a discharge of mus(etry,and a flourish of our trumpets and martial music. I commanded our caravan to halt, and dismounting, advanceduncovered, with only two attendants, towards his Ma#esty. "he emperor was eAually polite, and descending

from his dromedary, advanced to meet me. 2I am happy,2 said he, 2to have the honour to receive so illustrious atraveller, and assure you that everything in my empire shall be at your disposal.2I than(ed his Ma#esty for his politeness, and e!pressed how happy I was to meet so polished and refined a

people in the centre of >frica, and that I hoped to show myself and company grateful for his esteem, byintroducing the arts and sciences of Europe among the people.

I immediately perceived the true descent of this people, which does not appear of terrestrial origin, butdescended from some of the inhabitants of the moon, because the principal language spo(en there, and in thecentre of >frica, is very nearly the same. "heir alphabet and method of writing are pretty much the same, andshow the e!treme antiAuity of this people, and their e!alted origin. I here give you a specimen of their writingQVi(e Otrc<ocs's (e Orig8 H'ng8 p. :8 1D3tregnah, dna s(oohtop.

"hese characters I have submitted to the inspection of a celebrated antiAuarian, and it will be proved to thesatisfaction of every one, in his ne!t volume, what an immediate intercourse there must have been between theinhabitants of the moon and the ancient 3cythians, which 3cythians did not by any means inhabit a part of Russia, but the central part of >frica, as I can abundantly prove to my very learned and laborious friend. "heabove words, written in our characters, are )regna% (na s<oo%to* / that is, "he 3cythians are of heavenly origin."he word )regna% , which signifies )cyt%ians , is compounded of sreg or sre , whence our present English wordsire, or sir1 and na%, or gna%, (nowledge, because the 3cythians united the essentials of nobility and learningtogether1 (na signifies heaven, or belonging to the moon, from ('na , who was anciently worshipped as goddessof that luminary. >nd s<oo%=to* signifies the origin or beginning of anything, from s<oo, the name used in themoon for a point in geometry, and to* or %to*, vegetation. "hese words are inscribed at this day upon a pyramidin the centre of >frica, nearly at the source of the river iger/ and if any one refuses his assent, he may go there

to be convinced."he emperor conducted me to his court amidst the admiration of his courtiers, and paid us every possible

politeness that >frican magnificence could bestow. <e never presumed to proceed on any e!pedition withoutconsulting us, and loo(ing upon us as a species of superior beings, paid the greatest respect to our opinions. <efreAuently as(ed me about the states of Europe, and the (ingdom of Great %ritain, and appeared lost inadmiration at the account I gave him of our shipping, and the immensity of the ocean. He taught him toregulate the government nearly on the same plan with the %ritish constitution, and to institute a parliament anddegrees of nobility. <is ma#esty was the last of his royal line, and on his decease, with the unanimous consentof the people, made me heir to the whole empire. "he nobility and chiefs of the country immediately waitedupon me with petitions, entreating me to accept the government. I consulted with my noble friends, Gog andMagog, Tc., and after much consultation it was agreed that I should accept the government, not as actual andindependent monarch of the place, but as viceroy to his Ma#esty of England.

I now thought it high time to do away the custom of eating of live flesh and drin(ing of (ava, and for that purpose used every persuasive method to wean the ma#ority of the people from it. "his, to my astonishment,was not ta(en in good part by the nation, and they loo(ed with #ealousy at those strangers who wanted to ma(einnovations among them.

evertheless, I felt much concern to thin( that my fellow)creatures could be capable of such barbarity. I dideverything that a heart fraught with universal benevolence and good will to all man(ind could be capable of desiring. I first tried every method of persuasion and incitement. I did not harshly reprove them, but I invitedfreAuently whole thousands to dine, after the fashion of Europe, upon roasted meat. >las, &twas all in vainP mygoodness nearly e!cited a sedition. "hey murmured among themselves, spo(e of my intentions, my wild andambitious views, as if I, heavenP could have had any personal interested motive in ma(ing them live li(emen, rather than li(e crocodiles and tigers. In fine, perceiving that gentleness could be of no avail, well(nowing that when complaisance can effect nothing from some spirits, compulsion e!cites respect and



veneration, I prohibited, under the pain of the severest penalties, the drin(ing of (ava, or eating of live flesh, for the space of nine days, within the districts of >ngalinar and 7aphagalna.

%ut this created such an universal abhorrence and detestation of my government, that my ministers, and evenmyself, were universally pasAuinadoed/ lampoons, satires, ridicule, and insult, were showered upon the name of Munchausen wherever it was mentioned/ and in fine, there never was a government so much detested, or withsuch little reason.

In this dilemma I had recourse to the advice of my noble friend <ilaro ?rosticos. In his good sense I nowe!pected some resource, for the rest of the council, who had advised me to the former method, had given but a

poor specimen of their abilities and discernment, or I should have succeeded more happily. In short, headdressed himself to me and to the council as follows1D

2It is in vain, most noble Munchausen, that your E!cellency endeavours to compel or force these people to alife to which they have never been accustomed. In vain do you tell them that apple)pies, pudding, roast beef,minced pies, or tarts, are delicious, that sugar is sweet, that wine is e!Auisite. >lasP they cannot, they will notcomprehend what deliciousness is, what sweetness, or what the flavour of the grape. >nd even if they wereconvinced of the superior e!cellence of your way of life, never, never would they be persuaded/ and that if for no other reason, but because force or persuasion is employed to induce them to it. >bandon that idea for the

present, and let us try another method. My opinion, therefore, is, that we should at once cease all endeavours tocompel or persuade them. %ut let us, if possible, procure a Auantity of &'(ge from England, and carelessly

scatter it over all the country/ and from this disposal of matters I presumeDnay, I have a moral certainty, thatwe shall reclaim this people from horror and barbarity.2<ad this been proposed at any other time, it would have been violently opposed in the council/ but now,

when every other attempt had failed, when there seemed no other resource, the ma#ority willingly submitted tothey (new not what, for they absolutely had no idea of the manner, the possibilities of success, or how theycould bring matters to bear. <owever, &twas a scheme, and as such they submitted. ?or my part, I listened withecstasy to the words of <ilaro ?rosticos, for I (new that he had a most singular (nowledge of human (ind, andcould humour and persuade them on to their own happiness and universal good. "herefore, according to theadvice of <ilaro, I despatched a balloon with four men over the desert to the Cape of Good <ope, with letters to

be forwarded to England, reAuiring, without delay, a few cargoes of fudge."he people had all this time remained in a general state of ferment and murmur. Everything that rancour, low

wit, and deplorable ignorance could conceive to asperse my government, was put in e!ecution. "he mostworthy, even the most beneficent actions, everything that was amiable, were perverted into opposition.

"he heart of Munchausen was not made of such impenetrable stuff as to be insensible to the hatred of eventhe most worthless wretch in the whole (ingdom/ and once, at a general assembly of the states, filled with anidea of such continued ingratitude, I spo(e as pathetic as possible, not, methought, beneath my dignity, to ma(ethem feel for me1 that the universal good and happiness of the people were all I wished or desired/ that if myactions had been mista(en, or improper surmises formed, still I had no wish, no desire, but the public welfare,Tc. Tc. Tc.

<ilaro ?rosticos was all this time much disturbed/ he loo(ed sternly at meDhe frowned, but I was soengrossed with the warmth of my heart, my intentions, that I understood him not1 in a minute I saw nothing butas if through a cloud 4such is the force of amiable sensibility5Dlords, ladies, chiefsDthe whole assemblyseemed to swim before my sight. "he more I thought on my good intentions, the lampoons which so muchaffected my delicacy, good nature, tendernessDI forgot myselfDI spo(e rapid, violentDbeneficenceDfireD tendernessDalasP I melted into tearsP

27ishP pishP2 said <ilaro ?rosticos. ow, indeed, was my government lampooned, satirised, carribonadoed, bepic(led, and bedevilled. ne day,

with my arm full of lampoons, I started up as <ilaro entered the room, the tears in my eyes1 2'oo(, loo( here,<ilaroPDhow can I bear all thisS It is impossible to please them/ I will leave the governmentDI cannot bear itP3ee what pitiful anecdotesDwhat surmises1 I will ma(e my people feel for meDI will leave the governmentP2

27shawP2 says <ilaro. >t that simple mono)syllable I found myself changed as if by magicP for I ever loo(ed

on <ilaro as a person so e!periencedDsuch fortitude, such good sense. 2"here are three sails, under the convoyof a frigate,2 added <ilaro, 2#ust arrived at the Cape, after a fortunate passage, laden with the fudge that wedemanded. o time is to be lost/ let it be immediately conducted hither, and distributed through the principalgranaries of the empire.2



CHAPTER ))VII

A *roclamation -y t%e $aron:E0cessive c'riosity o& t%e *eo*le to <now w%at &'(ge was:T%e *eo*le in a general &erment a-o't it:T%ey -rea< o*en all t%e granaries in t%e em*ire:T%e a&&ections o& t%e *eo*leconciliate(:An o(e *er&orme( in %ono'r o& t%e $aron:His (isco'rse wit% Fragrantia on t%e e0cellence o& t%em'sic8

3ome time after I ordered the following proclamation to be published in the Court GaLette, and in all theother papers of the empire1D

%$ "<E M 3" MIG<"$ > 0 7UI33> " ' R0, <I3 EOCE''E C$ "<E ' R0 %>RMU C<>U3E .

Hhereas a Auantity of fudge has been distributed through all the granaries of the empire for particular uses/and as the natives have ever e!pressed their aversion to all manner of European eatables, it is hereby strictlyforbidden, under pain of the severest penalties, for any of the officers charged with the (eeping of the saidfudge to give, sell, or suffer to be sold, any part or Auantity whatever of the said material, until it be agreeableunto our good will and pleasure.

0ated in our Castle of Gristaris(athis "ris(ill of the month ofGris(ish, in the year Mouli(asra)navas)(ashna)vildash."his proclamation e!cited the most ardent curiosity all over the empire. 20o you (now what this fudge isS2

said 'ady Mooshilgarousti to 'ord 0arnarlaganl. 2?udgeP2 said he, 2?udgeP no1 what fudgeS2 2I mean,2 repliedher 'adyship, 2the enormous Auantity of fudge that has been distributed under guards in all the strong places inthe empire, and which is strictly forbidden to be sold or given to any of the natives under the severest

penalties.2 2'ordP2 replied he, 2what in the name of wonder can it beS ?orbiddenP why it must, but pray do you,'ady ?ashashash, do you (now what this fudge isS 0o you, 'ord "rastillaue!S or you, Miss Gristilar(as(SHhatP nobody (now what this fudge can beS2

It engrossed for several days the chit)chat of the whole empire. ?udge, fudge, fudge, resounded in allcompanies and in all places, from the rising until the setting of the sun/ and even at night, when gentle sleeprefreshed the rest of mortals, the ladies of all that country were dreaming of fudgeP

2Upon my honour,2 said ;itty, as she was ad#usting her modesty piece before the glass, #ust after getting outof bed, 2there is scarce anything I would not give to (now what this fudge can be.2 2'aP my dear,2 replied Miss;illnaris(a, 2I have been dreaming the whole night of nothing but fudge/ I thought my lover (issed my hand,and pressed it to his bosom, while I, frowning, endeavoured to wrest it from him1 that he (neeled at my feet.

o, never, never will I loo( at you, cried I, till you tell me what this fudge can be, or get me some of it. %egonePcried I, with all the dignity of offended beauty, ma#esty, and a tragic Aueen. %egoneP never see me more, or

bring me this delicious fudge. <e swore, on the honour of a (night, that he would wander o&er the world,encounter every danger, perish in the attempt, or satisfy the angel of his soul.2

"he chiefs and nobility of the nation, when they met together to drin( their (ava, spo(e of nothing but fudge.Men, women, and children all, all tal(ed of nothing but fudge. &"was a fury of curiosity, one general ferment,and universal feverDnothing but fudge could allay it.

%ut in one respect they all agreed, that government must have had some interested view, in giving such positive orders to preserve it, and (eep it from the natives of the country. 7etitions were addressed to me fromall Auarters, from every corporation and body of men in the whole empire. "he ma#ority of the people instructedtheir constituents, and the parliament presented a petition, praying that I would be pleased to ta(e the state of

the nation under consideration, and give orders to satisfy the people, or the most dreadful conseAuences were to be apprehended. "o these reAuests, at the entreaty of my council, I made no reply, or at best but unsatisfactoryanswers. Curiosity was on the rac(/ they forgot to lampoon the government, so engaged were they about thefudge. "he great assembly of the states could thin( of nothing else. Instead of enacting laws for the regulationof the people, instead of consulting what should seem most wise, most e!cellent, they could thin(, tal(, and



harangue of nothing but fudge. In vain did the 3pea(er call to order/ the more chec(s they got the moree!travagant and inAuisitive they were.

In short, the populace in many places rose in the most outrageous and tumultuous manner, forced open thegranaries in all places in one day, and triumphantly distributed the fudge through the whole empire.

Hhether on account of the longing, the great curiosity, imagination, or the disposition of the people, I cannotsayDbut they found it infinitely to their taste/ &twas into!ication of #oy, satisfaction, and applause.

?inding how much they li(ed this fudge, I procured another Auantity from England, much greater than theformer, and cautiously bestowed it over all the (ingdom. "hus were the affections of the people regained/ andthey, from hence, began to venerate, applaud, and admire my government more than ever. "he following odewas performed at the castle, in the most superb style, and universally admired1D

8(E#

$e bu s and crickets, and Gog, Magog, And tru"p ts high chi"ing anthrophog, 6o"e sing b ithe chora a in og, 6ara og, basi og, fog, and bog

Great and superb appears thy cap sub i"e, Ad"ired and !orshipp d as the rising sun

So e"n, "ajestic, !ise, ike hoary Ti"e, And fa" d a ike for virtue, sense, and fun#

Then s!e the nob e strain !ith song, And e egance divine, hi e goddesses around sha throng, And a the "uses nine#

And bu s, and crickets, and Gog, Magog, And tru"pets chi"ing anthrophog, Sha sing b ithe chora a in og, 6ara og, basi og, fog, and bog

"his piece of poetry was much applauded, admired, and encore( in every public assembly, celebrated as anastonishing effort of genius/ and the music, composed by Minheer Gastrashbar( G(rghhbarws(h(, was thoughteAual to the sensePD ever was there anything so universally admired, the summit of the most e!Auisite wit, the(eenest praise, the most e!cellent music.

2Upon my honour, and the faith I owe my love,2 said I, 2music may be tal(ed of in England, but to possessthe very soul of harmony the world should come to the performance of this ode.2 'ady ?ragrantia was at thatmoment drumming with her fingers on the edge of her fan, lost in a reverie, thin(ing she was playing uponDD Has it a forte pianoS

2 o, my dear ?ragrantia,2 said I, tenderly ta(ing her in my arms while she melted into tears/ 2never, never,will I play upon any otherDDP2

hP &twas divine, to see her li(e a summer&s morning, all blushing and full of dewP

CHAPTER ))VIII

T%e $aron sets all t%e *eo*le o& t%e em*ire to wor< to -'il( a -ri(ge &rom t%eir co'ntry to reat $ritain: His contrivance to ren(er t%e arc% sec're:Or(ers an inscri*tion to -e engrave( on t%e -ri(ge:Ret'rns wit%all %is com*any9 c%ariot9 etc89 to Englan(:)'rveys t%e <ing(oms an( nations 'n(er %im &rom t%e mi((le o& t%e-ri(ge8

2>nd now, most noble %aron,2 said the illustrious <ilaro ?rosticos, 2now is the time to ma(e this people proceed in any business that we find convenient. "a(e them at this present ferment of the mind, let them notthin(, but at once set them to wor(.2 In short, the whole nation went heartily to the business, to build an edifice



such as was never seen in any other country. I too( care to supply them with their favourite (ava and fudge, andthey wor(ed li(e horses. "he tower of %abylon, which, according to <ermogastricus, was seven miles high, or the Chinese wall, was a mere trifle, in comparison to this stupendous edifice, which was completed in a veryshort space of time.

It was of an immense height, far beyond anything that ever had been before erected, and of such gentleascent, that a regiment of cavalry with a train of cannon could ascend with perfect ease and facility. It seemedli(e a rainbow in the heavens, the base of which appeared to rise in the centre of >frica, and the other e!tremityseemed to stoop into great %ritain. > most noble bridge indeed, and a piece of masonry that has outdone 3ir

Christopher Hren. Honderful must it have been to form so tremendous an arch, especially as the artists hadcertain difficulties to labour against which they could not have in the formation of any other arch in the worldD I mean, the attraction of the moon and planets1 %ecause the arch was of so great a height, and in some parts soelongated from the earth, as in a great measure to diminish in its gravitation to the centre of our globe/ or rather,seemed more easily operated upon by the attraction of the planets1 3o that the stones of the arch, one wouldthin(, at certain times, were ready to fall '* to the moon, and at other times to fall down to the earth. %ut as theformer was more to be dreaded, I secured stability to the fabric by a very curious contrivance1 I ordered thearchitects to get the heads of some hundred numbs(ulls and bloc(heads, and fi! them to the interior surface of the arch, at certain intervals, all the whole length, by which means the arch was held together firm, and itsinclination to the earth eternally established/ because of all the things in the world, the s(ulls of these (ind of animals have a strange facility of tending to the centre of the earth.

"he building being completed, I caused an inscription to be engraved in the most magnificent style upon thesummit of the arch, in letters so great and luminous, that all vessels sailing to the East or Hest Indies might readthem distinct in the heavens, li(e the motto of Constantine.

;>R0 ' %>G>R'> ;>I " ?>RI G 3>RG>I R> M 7>3<R ' =>"I E>C C>' C ' I" 3R > ?I' >" >G>3"R> 3> 0I G> >' ?> .

"hat is to say, 2>s long as this arch and bond of union shall e!ist, so long shall the people be happy. or canall the power of the world affect them, unless the moon, advancing from her usual sphere, should so muchattract the s(ulls as to cause a sudden elevation, on which the whole will fall into the most horrible confusion.2

>n easy intercourse being thus established between Great %ritain and the centre of >frica, numbers travelledcontinually to and from both countries, and at my reAuest mail coaches were ordered to run on the bridge

between both empires. >fter some time, having settled the government to my satisfaction, I reAuested permission to resign, as a great cabal had been e!cited against me in England/ I therefore received my letters of recall, and prepared to return to ld England.

In fine, I set out upon my #ourney, covered with applause and general admiration. I proceeded with the sameretinue that I had beforeD3phin!, Gog and Magog, Tc., and advanced along the bridge, lined on each side withrows of trees, adorned with festoons of various flowers, and illuminated with coloured lights. He advanced at agreat rate along the bridge, which was so very e!tensive that we could scarcely perceive the ascent, but

proceeded insensibly until we arrived on the centre of the arch. "he view from thence was glorious beyondconception/ &twas divine to loo( down on the (ingdoms and seas and islands under us. >frica seemed in generalof a tawny brownish colour, burned up by the sun1 3pain seemed more inclining to a yellow, on account of

some fields of corn scattered over the (ingdom/ ?rance appeared more inclining to a bright straw)colour,intermi!ed with green/ and England appeared covered with the most beautiful verdure. I admired theappearance of the %altic 3ea, which evidently seemed to have been introduced between those countries by thesudden splitting of the land, and that originally 3weden was united to the western coast of 0enmar(/ in short,the whole interstice of the Gulf of ?inland had no being, until these countries, by mutual consent, separatedfrom one another. 3uch were my philosophical meditations as I advanced, when I observed a man in armour with a tremendous spear or lance, and mounted upon a steed, advancing against me. I soon discovered by atelescope that it could be no other than 0on Kui!ote, and promised myself much amusement in the rencounter.

CHAPTER ))I)



T%e $aron!s retin'e is o**ose( in a %eroic style -y Don /'i0ote9 w%o in %is t'rn is attac<e( -y og an( "agog:2or( 6%ittington9 wit% t%e 2or( "ayor!s s%ow9 comes to t%e assistance o& Don /'i0ote: og an( "agog assail %is 2or(s%i*:2or( 6%ittington ma<es a s*eec%9 an( (el'(es og an( "agog to %is *arty:A general scene o& '*roar an( -attle among t%e com*any9 'ntil t%e $aron9 wit% great *resence o& min(9 a**easest%e t'm'lt8

2Hhat art thouS2 e!claimed 0on Kui!ote on his potent steed. 2Hho art thouS 3pea(P or, by the eternalvengeance of mine arm, thy whole machinery shall perish at sound of this my trumpetP2

>stonished at so rude a salutation, the great 3phin! stopped short, and bridling up herself, drew in her head,li(e a snail when it touches something that it does not li(e1 the bulls set up a horrid bellowing, the cric(etssounded an alarm, and Gog and Magog advanced before the rest. ne of these powerful brothers had in hishand a great pole, to the e!tremity of which was fastened a cord of about two feet in length, and to the end of the cord was fastened a ball of iron, with spi(es shooting from it li(e the rays of a star/ with this weapon he

prepared to encounter, and advancing thus he spo(e1D2>udacious wightP that thus, in complete steel arrayed, doth dare to venture cross my way, to stop the great

Munchausen. ;now then, proud (night, that thou shalt instant perish &neath my potent arm.2Hhen Kui!ote, Mancha&s (night, responded firm1D2Gigantic monsterP leader of witches, cric(ets, and chimeras direP (now thou, that here before yon aLure

heaven the cause of truth, of valour, and of faith right pure shall ordeal counter try itP2"hus he spo(e, and brandishing his mighty spear, would instant prodigies sublime perform, had not some

wight placed &neath the tail of dar( Rosinante furLe all thorny base/ at which, Auadrupedanting, plunged thesteed, and instant on the earth the (night roared cre(o for his life.

>t that same moment ten thousand frogs started from the morions of Gog and Magog, and furiously assailedthe (night on every side. In vain he roared, and invo(ed fair 0ulcinea del "oboso1 for frogs& wild croa(ingseemed more loud, more sonorous than all his invocations. >nd thus in battle vile the (night was overcome, andspawn all swarmed upon his glittering helmet.

20etested miscreantsP2 roared the (night/ 2avauntP Enchanters dire and goblins could alone this arduous tas( perform/ to rout the (night of Mancha, foul defeat, and war, even such as ne&er was (nown before. "hen hear, del "obosoP hear my vows, that thus in anguish of my soul I urge, midst frogs, Gridalbin, <ecaton, ;ai, "alon,

and the RoveP Qfor such the names and definitions of their Aualities, their separate powers. ?or Merlin plumedtheir airy flight, and then in watery moonbeam dyed his rod eccentric. >t the touch ten thousand frogs, strangemetamorphosed, croa(ed even thus1 >nd here they come, on high behest, to vilify the (night that erst defendedfamed virginity, and matrons all bewronged, and pilgrims hoar, and courteous guise of allP %ut the age of chivalry is gone, and the glory of Europe is e!tinguished for everS2

<e spa(e, and sudden good 'ord Hhittington, at head of all his raree)show, came forth, armour antiAue of chivalry, and helmets old, and troops, all streamers, flags and banners glittering gay, red, gold, and purple/ andin every hand a sAuare of gingerbread, all gilded nice, was brandished awful. >t a word, ten thousand thousand

aples biscuits, crac(ers, buns, and flannel)ca(es, and hats of gingerbread encountered in mid air in gloriouse!altation, li(e some huge storm of mill)stones, or when it rains whole clouds of dogs and cats.

"he frogs, astonished, thunderstruc(, forgot their notes and music, that before had seemed so terrible, anddrowned the cries of (night renown, and mute in wonder heard the words of Hhittington, pronouncing solemn1 D2Goblins, chimeras dire, or frogs, or whatsoe&er enchantment thus presents in antiAue shape, attend and hear the words of peace/ and thou, good herald, read aloud the Riot >ctP2

<e ceased, and dismal was the tone that softly breathed from all the frogs in chorus, who Auic( had petrifiedwith fright, unless redoubted Gog and Magog, both with poles, high topped with airy bladders by a stringdependent, had not stormed against his lordship. Ever and anon the bladders, loud resounding on his chaps,

proclaimed their fury against all potent law, coercive mayoralty/ when he, submissive, thus in cunning guileaddressed the (nights assailant1D2Gog, Magog, renowned and famousP what, my sons, shall you assail your father, friend, and chief confessedS 3hall you, thus armed with bladders vile, attac( my title, eminence, and

pomp sublimeS 3ubside, vile discord, and again return to your true &legiance. "hin(, my friends, how oft your gorgeous pouch I&ve crammed, all calapash, green fat, and calapee. Remember how you&ve feasted, stood inertfor ages, until siLe immense you&ve gained. >nd thin(, how different is the service of Munchausen, where youo&er seas, cold, briny, float along the tide, eternal toiling li(e to slaves of >lgiers and "ripoli. >nd ev&n on high,

balloon li(e, through the heavens have #ourneyed late, upon a rainbow or some awful bridge stretched eminent,



as if on earth he had not wor( sufficient to distress your potent servitudes, but he should also see( in heavendire cause of labourP Recollect, my friends, even why or wherefore should you thus assail your lawfulmagistrate, or why desert his liveryS or for what or wherefore serve this German 'ord Munchausen, who for allyour labour shall alone bestow some fudge and heroic blows in warS "hen cease, and thus in amity return tofriendship aldermanic, bungy, brown, and sober.2

Ceased he then, right worshipful, when both the warring champions instant stemmed their battle, and in signof peace and unity returning, &neath their feet reclined their weapons. 3udden at a signal either stamped his footsinistrine, and the loud report of bursten bladder stunned each ear surrounding, li(e the roar of thunder from on

high convulsing heaven and earth.&"was now upon the saddle once again the (night of Mancha rose, and in his hand far balancing his lance, full

tilt against the troops of bulls opposing run. >nd thou, shrill Crillitril(ril, than whom no cric(et e&er on hob of rural cottage, or chimney blac(, more gladsome turned his merry note, e&en thou didst perish, shrie(ing gave theghost in empty air, the sport of every wind/ for e&en that heart so #ocund and so gay was pierced, harsh spitted

by the lance of Mancha, while undaunted thou didst sit between the horns that crowned Mowmows(y. >nd nowHhittington advanced, &midst armour antiAue and the powers Magog and Gog, and with his rod enchantingtouched the head of every frog, long mute and thunderstruc(, at which, in universal chorus and salute, they sung

blithe #ocund, and amain advanced rebellious &gainst my troop.Hhile 3phin!, though great, gigantic, seemed instinctive base and cowardly, and at the sight of storming

gingerbread, and powers, Magog and Gog, and Kui!ote, all against her, started fierce, o&erturning boat, balloons, and all/ loud roared the bulls, hideous, and the crash of wheels, and chaos of confusion drear,resounded far from earth to heaven. >nd still more fierce in charge the great 'ord Hhittington, from po(e of ermine his famed Grimal(in too(. 3he screamed, and harsh attac(ed my bulls confounded/ lightning)li(e shedarted, and from half the troop their eyes devouring tore. or could the riders, cric(ets throned sublime, escapefrom rage, from fury less averse than cannons murder o&er the stormy sea. "he great Mowmows(y roared amainand plunged in anguish, shunning every dart of fire)eyed fierce Grimal(in. 0ire the rage of warfare andcontending cric(ets, Kui!ote and great Magog/ when Hhittington advancingD2Good, my friends and warriors,headlong on the foe bear down impetuous.2 <e spo(e, and waving high the mighty rod, tipped wonderful each

bull, at which more fierce the creatures bellowed, while enchantment drear devoured their vitals. >nd all hadgone to wrec( in more than mortal strife, unless, li(e eptune orient from the stormy deep, I rose, e&en towering

o&er the ruins of my fighting troops. 3erene and calm I stood, and gaLed around undaunted/ nor did aughtoppose against my foes impetuous. %ut sudden from chariot purses plentiful of fudge poured forth, andscattered it amain o&er all the crowd contending. >s when old Catherine or the careful oan doth scatter to thechic(ens bits of bread and crumbs fragmented, while re#oiced they gobble fast the proffered scraps in general

plenty and fraternal peace, and 2hush,2 she cries, 2hushP hushP2

CHAPTER )))

T%e $aron arrives in Englan(:t%e Coloss's o& R%o(es comes to congrat'late %im: reat re+oicings on t%e $aron!s ret'rn9 an( a tremen(o's concert:T%e $aron!s (isco'rse wit% Fragrantia9 an( %er o*inion o& t%e To'r to t%e He-ri(es8

<aving arrived in England once more, the greatest re#oicings were made for my return/ the whole cityseemed one general blaLe of illumination, and the Colossus of Rhodes, hearing of my astonishing feats, cameon purpose to England to congratulate me on such unparalleled achievements. %ut above all other re#oicings onmy return, the musical oratorio and song of triumph were magnificent in the e!treme. Gog and Magog wereordered to ta(e the maiden tower of Hindsor, and ma(e a tambourine or great drum of it. ?or this purpose theye!tended an elephant&s hide, tanned and prepared for the design, across the summit of the tower, from parapet to

parapet, so that in proportion this e!tended elephant&s hide was to the whole of the castle what the parchment isto a drum, in such a manner that the whole became one great instrument of war.

"o correspond with this, Colossus too( Guildhall and Hestminster >bbey, and turning the foundationstowards the heavens, so that the roofs of the edifices were upon the ground, he strung them across with brassand steel wire from side to side, and thus, when strung, they had the appearance of most noble dulcimers. <e



then too( the great dome of 3t. 7aul&s, raising it off the earth with as much facility as you would a decanter of claret. >nd when once risen up it had the appearance of a Auart bottle. Colossus instantly, with his teeth,crac(ed off the superior part of the cupola, and then applying his lips to the instrument, began to sound it li(e atrumpet. &"was martial beyond descriptionD tantara@ D tara@ D ta@

0uring the concert I wal(ed in the par( with 'ady ?ragrantia1 she was dressed that morning in a c%emise lareine . 2I li(e,2 said she, 2the dew of the morning, &tis delicate and ethereal, and, by thus bespangling me, I thin( it will more appro!imate me to the nature of the rose Qfor her loo(s were li(e >urora / and to confirm thevermilion I shall go to 3pa.2 2>nd drin( the 7odhon springS2 added I, gaLing at her from top to toe. 2$es,2

replied the lovely ?ragrantia, 2with all my heart/ &tis the drin( of sweetness and delicacy. ever were there anycreatures li(e the water)drin(ers at spa/ they seem li(e so many thirsty blossoms on a peach)tree, that suc( upthe shower in the scorching heat. "here is a certain something in the waters that gives vigour to the wholeframe, and e!pands every heart with rapture and benevolence. "hey drin(P good godsP how they do drin(P andthen, how they sleepP 7ray, my dear %aron, were you ever at the falls of iagaraS2 2$es, my lady,2 replied I,surprised at such a strange association of ideas/ 2I have been, many years ago, at the ?alls of iagara, and foundno more difficulty in swimming up and down the cataracts than I should to move a minuet.2 >t that moment shedropped her nosegay. 2>h,2 said she, as I presented it to her, 2there is no great variety in these polyanthuses. Ido assure you, my dear %aron, that there is taste in the selection of flowers as well as everything else, and wereI a girl of si!teen I should wear some rosebuds in my bosom, but at five)and)twenty I thin( it would be morea*ro*os to wear a full)blown rose, Auite ripe, and ready to drop off the stal( for want of being pulledDheigh)hoP2 2%ut pray, my lady,2 said I, 2how do you li(e the concertS2 2>lasP2 said she, languishingly, while she laidher hand upon my shoulder, 2what are these bodiless sounds and vibration to meS and yet what an e!Auisitesweetness in the songs of the northern part of our island1D& T%o' art gone awa! &rom me9 "ary@ & <ow patheticand divine the little airs of 3cotland and the <ebridesP %ut never, never can I thin( of that same 0octor ohnson

Dthat C 3">%'E, as ?ergus Mac'eod calls himDbut I have an idea of a great brown full)bottomed wigand a hogshead of porterP h, &twas baseP to be treated everywhere with politeness and hospitality, and in returninvidiously to smellfungus them all over/ to go to the country of ;ate of >berdeen, of >uld Robin Gray, &midstrural innocence and sweetness, ta(e up their plaids, and dance. hP 0octor, 0octorP2

2>nd what would you say, ?ragrantia, if you were to write a tour to the <ebridesS2 27eace to the heroes,2replied she, in a delicate and theatrical tone/ 2peace to the heroes who sleep in the isle of Iona/ the sons of the

wave, and the chiefs of the dar()brown shieldP "he tear of the sympathising stranger is scattered by the windover the hoary stones as she meditates sorrowfully on the times of oldP 3uch could I say, sitting upon somedruidical heap or tumulus. "he fact is this, there is a right and wrong handle to everything, and there is more

pleasure in thin(ing with pure nobility of heart than with the illiberal enmities and sarcasm of a blac(guard.2

CHAPTER )))I

A litigate( contention -etween Don /'i0ote9 og9 "agog9 Bc8:A gran( co'rt assem-le( '*on it:T%ea**earance o& t%e com*any:T%e matrons9 +'(ges9 Bc8:T%e met%o( o& writing9 an( t%e 'se o& t%e &as%iona-leam'sement 5'i##es:6a'wa' arrives &rom t%e co'ntry o& Prester o%n9 an( lea(s t%e w%ole Assem-ly a wil(=

goose c%ase to t%e to* o& Plinlimmon9 an( t%ence to Virginia:T%e $aron meets a &loating islan( in %is voyageto America:P'rs'es 6a'wa' wit% %is w%ole com*any t%ro'g% t%e (eserts o& Nort% America:His c'rio'scontrivance to sei#e 6a'wa' in a morass8

"he contention between Gog and Magog, and 3phin!, <ilaro ?rosticos, the 'ord Hhittington, Tc., was productive of infinite litigation. >ll the lawyers in the (ingdom were employed, to render the affair as comple!and gloriously uncertain as possible/ and, in fine, the whole nation became interested, and were divided on bothsides of the Auestion. Colossus too( the part of 3phin!, and the affair was at length submitted to the decision of a grand council in a great hall, adorned with seats on every side in form of an amphitheatre. "he assemblyappeared the most magnificent and splendid in the world. > court or #ury of one hundred matrons occupied the

principal and most honourable part of the amphitheatre/ they were dressed in flowing robes of s(y)blue velvetadorned with festoons of brilliants and diamond stars/ grave and sedate)loo(ing matrons, all in uniform, withspectacles upon their noses/ and opposite to these were placed one hundred #udges, with curly white wigs



flowing down on each side of them to their very feet, so that 3olomon in all his glory was not so wise inappearance. >t the ardent reAuest of the whole empire I condescended to be the president of the court, and

being arrayed accordingly, I too( my seat beneath a canopy erected in the centre. %efore every #udge was placed a sAuare in(stand, containing a gallon of in(, and pens of a proportionable siLe/ and also right beforehim an enormous folio, so large as to serve for table and boo( at the same time. %ut they did not ma(e muchuse of their pens and in(, e!cept to blot and daub the paper/ for, that they should be the more impartial, I hadordered that none but the blind should be honoured with the employment1 so that when they attempted to writeanything, they uniformly dipped their pens into the machine containing sand, and having scrawled over a page

as they thought, desiring them to dry it with sand, would spill half a gallon of in( upon the paper, and therebydaubing their fingers, would transfer the in( to their face whenever thy leaned their chee( upon their hand for greater gravity. >s to the matrons, to prevent an eternal prattle that would drown all manner of intelligibility, Ifound it absolutely necessary to sew up their mouths/ so that between the blind #udges and the dumb matronsmethought the trial had a chance of being terminated sooner than it otherwise would. "he matrons, instead of their tongues, had other instruments to convey their ideas1 each of them had three AuiLLes, one AuiL pendentfrom the string that sewed up her mouth, and another AuiL in either hand. Hhen she wished to e!press her negative, she darted and recoiled the AuiLLes in her right and left hand/ and when she desired to e!press her affirmative, she, nodding, made the AuiL pendent from her mouth flow down and recoil again. "he trial

proceeded in this manner for a long time, to the admiration of the whole empire, when at length I thought proper to send to my old friend and ally, 7rester ohn, entreating him to forward to me one of the species of wild and curious birds found in his (ingdom, called a Hauwau. "his creature was brought over the great bridge

before mentioned, from the interior of >frica, by a balloon. "he balloon was placed upon the bridge, e!tendingover the parapets on each side, with great wings or oars to assist its velocity, and under the balloon was placed

pendant a (ind of boat, in which were the persons to manage the steerage of the machine, and protect Hauwau."his oracular bird, arriving in England, instantly darted through one of the windows of the great hall, and

perched upon the canopy in the centre to the admiration of all present. <er cac(ling appeared Auite propheticand oracular/ and the first Auestion proposed to her by the unanimous consent of the matrons and #udges was,Hhether or not the moon was composed of green cheeseS "he solution of this Auestion was deemed absolutelynecessary before they could proceed farther on the trial.

Hauwau seemed in figure not very much differing from a swan, e!cept that the nec( was not near so long,and she stood after an admirable fashion li(e to =estris. 3he began cac(ling most sonorously, and the wholeassembly agreed that it was absolutely necessary to catch her, and having her in their immediate possession,nothing more would be reAuisite for the termination of this litigated affair. ?or this purpose the whole houserose up to catch her, and approached in tumult, the #udges brandishing their pens, and sha(ing their big wigs,and the matrons AuiLLing as much as possible in every direction, which very much startled Hauwau, who,clapping her wings, instantly flew out of the hall. "he assembly began to proceed after her in order and style of

precedence, together with my whole train of Gog and Magog, 3phin!, <ilaro ?rosticos, Kueen Mab&s chariot,the bulls and cric(ets, Tc., preceded by bands of music/ while Hauwau, descending on the earth, ran on li(e anostrich before the troop, cac(ling all the way. "hin(ing suddenly to catch this ferocious animal, the #udges andmatrons would suddenly Auic(en their pace, but the creature would as Auic(ly outrun them, or sometimes flyaway for many miles together, and then alight to ta(e breath until we came within sight of her again. ur train

#ourneyed over a most prodigious tract of country in a direct line, over hills and dales, to the summit of 7linlimmon, where we thought to have seiLed Hauwau/ but she instantly too( flight, and never ceased until shearrived at the mouth of the 7otomac river in =irginia.

ur company immediately embar(ed in the machines before described, in which we had #ourneyed into>frica, and after a few days& sail arrived in orth >merica. He met with nothing curious on our voyage, e!cepta floating island, containing some very delightful villages, inhabited by a few whites and negroes/ the sugar cane did not thrive there well, on account, as I was informed, of the variety of the climates/ the island beingsometimes driven up as far as the north pole, and at other times wafted under the eAuinoctial. In pity to the poor islanders, I got a huge sta(e of iron, and driving it through the centre of the island, fastened it to the roc(s andmud at the bottom of the sea, since which time the island has become stationary, and is well (nown at present

by the name of 3t. Christopher&s, and there is not an island in the world more secure.>rriving in orth >merica, we were received by the 7resident of the United 3tates with every honour and

politeness. <e was pleased to give us all the information possible relative to the woods and immense regions of >merica, and ordered troops of the different tribes of the EsAuimau! to guide us through the forests in pursuitof Hauwau, who, we at length found, had ta(en refuge in the centre of a morass. "he inhabitants of the country,



who loved hunting, were much delighted to behold the manner in which we attempted to seiLe upon Hauwau/the chase was noble and uncommon. I determined to surround the animal on every side, and for this purposeordered the #udges and matrons to surround the morass with nets e!tending a mile in height, on various parts of which net the company disposed themselves, floating in the air li(e so many spiders upon their cobwebs.Magog, at my command, put on a (ind of armour that he had carried with him for the purpose, corselet of steel,with gauntlets, helmet, Tc., so as nearly to resemble a mole. <e instantly plunged into the earth, ma(ing waywith his sharp steel head)piece, and tearing up the ground with his iron claws, and found not much difficultytherein, as morass in general is of a soft and yielding te!ture. "hus he hoped to undermine Hauwau, and

suddenly rising, seiLe her by the foot, while his brother Gog ascended the air in a balloon, hoping to catch her if she could escape Magog. "hus the animal was surrounded on every side, and at first was very much terrified,(nowing not which way she had best to go. >t length hearing an obscure noise under ground, Hauwau too( flight before Magog could have time to catch her by the foot. 3he flew to the right, then to the left, north, east,west, and south, but found on every side the company prepared upon their nets. >t length she flew right up,soaring at a most astonishing rate towards the sun, while the company on every side set up one generalacclamation. %ut Gog in his balloon soon stopped Hauwau in the midst of her career, and snared her in a net,the cords of which he continued to hold in his hand. Hauwau did not totally lose her presence of mind, but after a little consideration, made several violent darts against the volume of the balloon/ so fierce, as at length to tear open a great space, on which the inflammable air rushing out, the whole apparatus began to tumble to the earthwith amaLing rapidity. Gog himself was thrown out of the vehicle, and letting go the reins of the net, Hauwaugot liberty again, and flew out of sight in an instant.

Gog had been above a mile elevated from the earth when he began to fall, and as he advanced the rapidityincreased, so that he went li(e a ball from a cannon into the morass, and his nose stri(ing against one of theiron)capped hands of his brother Magog, #ust then rising from the depths, he began to bleed violently, and, butfor the softness of the morass, would have lost his life.

CHAPTER )))II

T%e $aron %arang'es t%e com*any9 an( t%ey contin'e t%e *'rs'it:T%e $aron9 wan(ering &rom %is retin'e9 ista<en -y t%e savages9 scal*e(9 an( tie( to a sta<e to -e roaste(; -'t %e contrives to e0tricate %imsel&9 an( <illst%e savages:T%e $aron travels overlan( t%ro'g% t%e &orests o& Nort% America9 to t%e con&ines o& R'ssia:

Arrives at t%e castle o& t%e Nares<in Rows<imowmows<y9 an( gallo*s into t%e <ing(om o& 2ogger%ea(s:A-attle9 in w%ic% t%e $aron &ig%ts t%e Nares<in in single com-at9 an( genero'sly gives %im %is li&e:Arrives at t%e Frien(ly Islan(s9 an( (isco'rses wit% Omai:T%e $aron9 wit% all %is atten(ants9 goes &rom Ota%eite to t%eist%m's o& Darien9 an( %aving c't a canal across t%e ist%m's9 ret'rns to Englan(8

2My friends, and very learned and profound udiciarii,2 said I, 2be not disheartened that Hauwau has escapedfrom you at present1 persevere, and we shall yet succeed. $ou should never despair, Munchausen being your

general/ and therefore be brave, be courageous, and fortune shall second your endeavours. 'et us advanceundaunted in pursuit, and follow the fierce Hauwau even three times round the globe, until we entrap her.2My words filled them with confidence and valour, and they unanimously agreed to continue the chase. He

penetrated the frightful deserts and gloomy woods of >merica, beyond the source of the hio, throughcountries utterly un(nown before. I freAuently too( the diversion of shooting in the woods, and one day that Ihappened with three attendants to wander far from our troop, we were suddenly set upon by a number of savages. >s we had e!pended our powder and shot, and happened to have no side)arms, it was in vain to ma(eany resistance against hundreds of enemies. In short, they bound us, and made us wal( before them to a gloomycavern in a roc(, where they feasted upon what game they had (illed, but which not being sufficient, they too( my three unfortunate companions and myself, and scalped us. "he pain of losing the flesh from my head wasmost horrible/ it made me leap in agonies, and roar li(e a bull. "hey then tied us to sta(es, and ma(ing greatfires around us, began to dance in a circle, singing with much distortion and barbarity, and at times putting the

palms of their hands to their mouths, set up the war)whoop. >s they had on that day also made a great priLe of some wine and spirits belonging to our troop, these barbarians, finding it delicious, and unconscious of itsinto!icating Auality, began to drin( it in profusion, while they beheld us roasting, and in a very short time they



were all completely drun(, and fell asleep around the fires. 7erceiving some hopes, I used most astonishingefforts to e!tricate myself from the cords which I was tied, and at length succeeded. I immediately unbound mycompanions, and though half roasted, they still had power enough to wal(. He sought about for the flesh thathad been ta(en off our heads, and having found the scalps, we immediately adapted them to our bloody heads,stic(ing them on with a (ind of glue of a sovereign Auality, that flows from a tree in that country, and the partsunited and healed in a few hours. He too( care to revenge ourselves on the savages, and with their own hatchets

put every one of them to death. He then returned to our troop, who had given us up for lost, and they madegreat re#oicings on our return. He now proceeded in our #ourney through this prodigious wilderness, Gog and

Magog acting as pioneers, hewing down the trees, Tc., at a great rate as we advanced. He passed over numberless swamps and la(es and rivers, until at length we discovered a habitation at some distance. Itappeared a dar( and gloomy castle, surrounded with strong ramparts, and a broad ditch. He called a council of war, and it was determined to send a deputation with a trumpet to the walls of the castle, and demand friendshipfrom the governor, whoever he might be, and an account if aught he (new of Hauwau. ?or this purpose our whole caravan halted in the wood, and Gog and Magog reclined amongst the trees, that their enormous strengthand siLe should not be discovered, and give umbrage to the lord of the castle. ur embassy approached thecastle, and having demanded admittance for some time, at length the drawbridge was let down, and they weresuffered to enter. >s soon as they had passed the gate it was immediately closed after them, and on either sidethey perceived ran(s of halberdiers, who made them tremble with fear. 2He come,2 the herald proclaimed, 2onthe part of <ilaro ?rosticos, 0on Kui!ote, 'ord Hhittington, and the thrice)renowned %aron Munchausen, toclaim friendship from the governor of this puissant castle, and to see( Hauwau.2 2"he most noble thegovernor,2 replied the officer, 2is at all times happy to entertain such travellers as pass through these immensedeserts, and will esteem it an honour that the great <ilaro ?rosticos, 0on Kui!ote, 'ord Hhittington, and thethrice)renowned %aron Munchausen, enter his castle walls.2

In short, we entered the castle. "he governor sat with all our company to table, surrounded by his friends, of a very fierce and warli(e appearance. "hey spo(e but little, and seemed very austere and reserved, until the firstcourse was served up. "he dishes were brought in by a number of bears wal(ing on their hind)legs, and onevery dish was a fricassee of pistols, pistol)bullets, sauce of gunpowder, and aAua)vit . "his entertainmentseemed rather indigestible by even an ostrich&s stomach, when the governor addressed us, and informed me thatit was ever his custom to strangers to offer them for the first course a service similar to that before us/ and if they were inclined to accept the invitation, he would fight them as much as they pleased, but if they could notrelish the pistol)bullets, Tc., he would conclude them peaceable, and try what better politeness he could showthem in his castle. In short, the first course being removed untouched, we dined, and after dinner the governor forced the company to push the bottle about with alacrity and to e!cess. <e informed us that he was the

ares(in Rows(imowmows(y, who had retired amidst these wilds, disgusted with the court of 7etersburgh. Iwas re#oiced to meet him/ I recollected my old friend, whom I had (nown at the court of Russia, when Ire#ected the hand of the Empress. "he ares(in, with all his (nights)companions, dran( to an astonishingdegree, and we all set off upon hobby horses in full cry out of the castle. ever was there seen such a cavalcade

before. In front galloped a hundred (nights belonging to the castle, with hunting horns and a pac( of e!cellentdogs/ and then came the ares(in Rows(imowmows(y, Gog and Magog, <ilaro ?rosticos, and your humbleservant, hallooing and shouting li(e so many demoniacs, and spurring our hobby horses at an infernal rate until

we arrived in the (ingdom of 'oggerheads. "he (ingdom of 'oggerheads was wilder than any part of 3iberia,and the ares(in had here built a romantic summer)house in a Gothic taste, to which he would freAuently retirewith his company after dinner. "he ares(in had a doLen bears of enormous stature that danced for our amusement, and their chiefs performed the min'et (e la co'r to admiration. >nd here the most noble <ilaro?rosticos thought proper to as( the ares(in some intelligence about Hauwau, in Auest of whom we hadtravelled over such a tract of country, and encountered so many dangerous adventures, and also invited the

ares(in Rows(imowmows(y to attend us with all his bears in the e!pedition. "he ares(in appearedastonished at the idea/ he loo(ed with infinite hauteur and ferocity on <ilaro, and affecting a violent passionas(ed him, 20id he imagine that the ares(in Rows(imowmows(y could condescend to ta(e notice of aHauwau, let her fly what way she wouldP r did he thin( a chief possessing such blood in his veins couldengage in such a foreign pursuitS %y the blood and by the ashes of my great grandmother, I would cut off your

headP2<ilaro ?rosticos resented this oration, and in short a general riot commenced. "he bears, together with the

hundred (nights, too( the part of the ares(in, and Gog and Magog, 0on Kui!ote, the 3phin!, 'ord



T%e $aron goes to Peters-'rg%9 an( converses wit% t%e Em*ress: Pers'a(es t%e R'ssians an( T'r<s tocease c'tting one anot%er!s t%roats9 an( in concert c't a canal across t%e Ist%m's o& )'e#:T%e $aron(iscovers t%e Ale0an(rine 2i-rary9 an( meets wit% Hermes Trismegist's:$esieges )eringa*atam9 an( c%allenges Ti**oo )a%i- to single com-at:T%ey &ig%t:T%e $aron receives some wo'n(s to %is &ace9 -'t at last van5'is%es t%e tyrant:T%e $aron ret'rns to E'ro*e9 an( raises t%e %'ll o& t%e GRoyal eorge8G

3eiLed with a fury of canal)cutting, I too( it in my head to form an immediate communication between theMediterranean and the Red 3ea, and therefore set out for 7etersburgh.

"he sanguinary ambition of the Empress would not listen to my proposals, until I too( a private opportunity,ta(ing a cup of coffee with her Ma#esty, to tell her that I would absolutely sacrifice myself for the general goodof man(ind, and if she would accede to my proposals, would, on the completion of the canal, i*so &acto, giveher my hand in marriageP

2My dear, dear %aron,2 said she, 2I accede to everything you please, and agree to ma(e peace with the 7orteon the conditions you mention. >nd,2 added she, rising with all the ma#esty of the CLarina, Empress of half theworld, 2be it (nown to all sub#ects, that He ordain these conditions, for such is our royal will and pleasure.2

I now proceeded to the Isthmus of 3ueL, at the head of a million of Russian pioneers, and there united myforces with a million of "ur(s, armed with shovels and pic(a!es. "hey did not come to cut each other&s throats,

but for their mutual interest, to facilitate commerce and civilisation, and pour all the wealth of India by a newchannel into Europe. 2My brave fellows,2 said I, 2consider the immense labour of the Chinese to build their

celebrated wall/ thin( of what superior benefit to man(ind is our present underta(ing/ persevere, and fortunewill second your endeavours. Remember it is Munchausen who leads you on, and be convinced of success.2

3aying these words, I drove my chariot with all my might in my former trac(, that vestige mentioned by the%aron de "ott, and when I was advanced considerably, I felt my chariot sin(ing under me. I attempted to driveon, but the ground, or rather immense vault, giving way, my chariot and all went down precipitately. 3tunned

by the fall, it was some moments before I could recollect myself, when at length, to my amaLement, I perceivedmyself fallen into the >le!andrine 'ibrary, overwhelmed in an ocean of boo(s/ thousands of volumes cametumbling on my head amidst the ruins of that part of the vault through which my chariot had descended, and for a time buried my bulls and all beneath a heap of learning. <owever, I contrived to e!tricate myself, andadvanced with awful admiration through the vast avenues of the library. I perceived on every side innumerablevolumes and repositories of ancient learning, and all the science of the >ntediluvian world. <ere I met with<ermes "rismegistus, and a parcel of old philosophers debating upon the politics and learning of their days. Igave them ine!pressible delight in telling them, in a few words, all the discoveries of ewton, and the historyof the world since their time. "hese gentry, on the contrary, told me a thousand stories of antiAuity that some of our antiAuarians would give their very eyes to hear.

In short, I ordered the library to be preserved, and I intend ma(ing a present of it, as soon as it arrives inEngland, to the Royal 3ociety, together with <ermes "rismegistus, and half a doLen old philosophers. I havegot a beautiful cage made, in which I (eep these e!traordinary creatures, and feed them with bread and honey,as they seem to believe in a (ind of doctrine of transmigration, and will not touch flesh. <ermes "rismegistusespecially is a most antiAue loo(ing being, with a beard half a yard long, covered with a robe of goldenembroidery, and prates li(e a parrot. <e will cut a very brilliant figure in the Museum.

<aving made a trac( with my chariot from sea to sea, I ordered my "ur(s and Russians to begin, and in a fewhours we had the pleasure of seeing a fleet of %ritish East Indiamen in full sail through the canal. "he officersof this fleet were very polite, and paid me every applause and congratulation my e!ploits could merit. "hey toldme of their affairs in India, and the ferocity of that dreadful warrior, "ippoo 3ahib, on which I resolved to go toIndia and encounter the tyrant. I travelled down the Red 3ea to Madras, and at the head of a few 3epoys andEuropeans pursued the flying army of "ippoo to the gates of 3eringapatam. I challenged him to mortal combat,and, mounted on my steed, rode up to the walls of the fortress amidst a storm of shells and cannon)balls. >s fastas the bombs and cannon)balls came upon me, I caught them in my hands li(e so many pebbles, and throwingthem against the fortress, demolished the strongest ramparts of the place. I too( my mar( so direct, thatwhenever I aimed a cannon)ball or a shell at any person on the ramparts I was sure to hit him1 and one time

perceiving a tremendous piece of artillery pointed against me, and (nowing the ball must be so great it wouldcertainly stun me, I too( a small cannon)ball, and #ust as I perceived the engineer going to order them to fire,and opening his mouth to give the word of command, I too( aim and drove my ball precisely down his throat.

"ippoo, fearing that all would be lost, that a general and successful storm would ensue if I continued to batter the place, came forth upon his elephant to fight me/ I saluted him, and insisted he should fire first.



"ippoo, though a barbarian, was not deficient in politeness, and declined the compliment/ upon which I too( off my hat, and bowing, told him it was an advantage Munchausen should never be said to accept from sogallant a warrior1 on which "ippoo instantly discharged his carbine, the ball from which, hitting my horse&s ear,made him plunge with rage and indignation. In return I discharged my pistol at "ippoo, and shot off his turban.<e had a small field)piece mounted with him on his elephant, which he then discharged at me, and the grape)shot coming in a shower, rattled in the laurels that covered and shaded me all over, and remained pendant li(e

berries on the branches. I then, advancing, too( the proboscis of his elephant, and turning it against the rider,struc( him repeatedly with the e!tremity of it on either side of the head, until I at length dismounted him.

othing could eAual the rage of the barbarian finding himself thrown from his elephant. <e rose in a fit of despair, and rushed against my steed and myself1 but I scorned to fight him at so great a disadvantage on hisside, and directly dismounted to fight him hand to hand. ever did I fight with any man who bore himself morenobly than this adversary/ he parried my blows, and dealt home his own in return with astonishing precision."he first blow of his sabre I received upon the bridge of my nose, and but for the bony firmness of that part of my face, it would have descended to my mouth. I still bear the mar( upon my nose.

<e ne!t made a furious blow at my head, but I, parrying, deadened the force of his sabre, so that I received but one scar on my forehead, and at the same instant, by a blow of my sword, cut off his arm, and his hand andsabre fell to the earth/ he tottered for some paces, and dropped at the foot of his elephant. "hat sagaciousanimal, seeing the danger of his master, endeavoured to protect him by flourishing his proboscis round the headof the 3ultan.

?earless I advanced against the elephant, desirous to ta(e alive the haughty "ippoo 3ahib/ but he drew a pistol from his belt, and discharged it full in my face as I rushed upon him, which did me no further harm thanwound my chee()bone, which disfigures me somewhat under my left eye. I could not withstand the rage andimpulse of that moment, and with one blow of my sword separated his head from his body.

I returned overland from India to Europe with admirable velocity, so that the account of "ippoo&s defeat byme has not as yet arrived by the ordinary passage, nor can you e!pect to hear of it for a considerable time. Isimply relate the encounter as it happened between the 3ultan and me/ and if there be any one who doubts thetruth of what I say, he is an infidel, and I will fight him at any time and place, and with any weapon he pleases.

<earing so many persons tal( about raising the 2Royal George,2 I began to ta(e pity on that fine old ruin of %ritish plan(, and determined to have her up. I was sensible of the failure of the various means hithertoemployed for the purpose, and therefore inclined to try a method different from any before attempted. I got animmense balloon, made of the toughest sail)cloth, and having descended in my diving)bell, and properlysecured the hull with enormous cables, I ascended to the surface, and fastened my cables to the balloon.7rodigious multitudes were assembled to behold the elevation of the 2Royal George,2 and as soon as I began tofill my balloon with inflammable air the vessel evidently began to move1 but when my balloon was completelyfilled, she carried up the 2Royal George2 with the greatest rapidity. "he vessel appearing on the surfaceoccasioned a universal shout of triumph from the millions assembled on the occasion. 3till the ballooncontinued ascending, trailing the hull after li(e a lantern at the tail of a (ite, and in a few minutes appearedfloating among the clouds.

It was then the opinion of many philosophers that it would be more difficult to get her down then it had been

to draw her up. %ut I convinced them to the contrary by ta(ing my aim so e!actly with a twelve)pounder, that I brought her down in an instant.I considered, that if I should brea( the balloon with a cannon)ball while she remained with the vessel over the

land, the fall would inevitable occasion the destruction of the hull, and which, in its fall, might crush some of the multitude/ therefore I thought it safer to ta(e my aim when the balloon was over the sea, and pointing mytwelve)pounder, drove the ball right through the balloon, on which the inflammable air rushed out with greatforce, and the 2Royal George2 descended li(e a falling star into the very spot from whence she had been ta(en."here she still remains, and I have convinced all Europe of the possibility of ta(ing her up.

CHAPTER )))IV



T%e $aron ma<es a s*eec% to t%e National Assem-ly9 an( (rives o't all t%e mem-ers:Ro'ts t%e &is%womenan( t%e National 'ar(s:P'rs'es t%e w%ole ro't into a C%'rc%9 w%ere %e (e&eats t%e National Assem-ly9 Bc89wit% Ro'ssea'9 Voltaire9 an( $eel#e-'- at t%eir %ea(9 an( li-erates "arie Antoinette an( t%e Royal Family8

7assing through 3witLerland on my return from India, I was informed that several of the German nobility had been deprived of the honours and immunities of their ?rench estates. I heard of the sufferings of the amiableMarie >ntoinette, and swore to avenge every loo( that had threatened her with insult. I went to the cavern of these >nthropophagi, assembled to debate, and gracefully putting the hilt of my sword to my lipsD2I swear,2cried I, 2by the sacred cross of my sword, that if you do not instantly reinstate your (ing and his nobility, and

your in#ured Aueen, I will cut the one half of you to pieces.2n which the 7resident, ta(ing up a leaden in(stand, flung it at my head. I stooped to avoid the blow, and

rushing to the tribunal seiLed the 3pea(er, who was fulminating against the >ristocrats, and ta(ing the creature by one leg, flung him at the 7resident. I laid about me most nobly, drove them all out of the house, and loc(ingthe doors put the (ey in my poc(et.

I then went to the poor (ing, and ma(ing my obeisance to himD23ire,2 said I, 2your enemies have all fled. Ialone am the ational >ssembly at present, and I shall register your edicts to recall the princes and the nobility/and in future, if your ma#esty pleases, I will be your 7arliament and Council.2 <e than(ed me, and the amiableMarie >ntoinette, smiling, gave me her hand to (iss.

>t that moment I perceived a party of the ational >ssembly, who had rallied with the ational Guards, and

a vast procession of fishwomen, advancing against me. I deposited their Ma#esties in a place of safety, and withmy drawn sword advanced against my foes. "hree hundred fishwomen, with bushes dressed with ribbons intheir hands, came hallooing and roaring against me li(e so many furies. I scorned to defile my sword with their

blood, but seiLed the first that came up, and ma(ing her (neel down I (nighted her with my sword, which soterrified the rest that they all set up a frightful yell and ran away as fast as they could for fear of beingaristocrated by (nighthood.

>s to the ational Guards and the rest of the >ssembly, I soon put them to flight/ and having made prisonersof some of them, compelled them to ta(e down their national, and put the old royal coc(ade in its place.

I then pursued the enemy to the top of a hill, where a most noble edifice daLLled my sight/ noble and sacred itwas but now converted to the vilest purposes, their monument (e gran(s %ommes , a Christian church that these

3aracens had perverted into abomination. I burst open the doors, and entered sword in hand. <ere I observed allthe ational >ssembly marching round a great altar erected to =oltaire/ there was his statue in triumph, and thefishwomen with garlands dec(ing it, and singing 2Ca iraP2 I could bear the sight no longer/ but rushed uponthese pagans, and sacrificed them by doLens on the spot. "he members of the >ssembly, and the fishwomen,continued to invo(e their great =oltaire, and all their masters in this monument (e gran(s %ommes , imploringthem to come down and succour them against the >ristocrats and the sword of Munchausen. "heir cries werehorrible, li(e the shrie(s of witches and enchanters versed in magic and the blac( art, while the thunder growled, and storms shoo( the battlements, and Rousseau, =oltaire, and %eelLebub appeared, three horriblespectres/ one all meagre, mere s(in and bone, and cadaverous, seemed death, that hideous s(eleton/ it was=oltaire, and in his hand were a lyre and a dagger. n the other side was Rousseau, with a chalice of sweet

poison in his hand, and between them was their father %eelLebubP

I shuddered at the sight, and with all the enthusiasm of rage, horror, and piety, rushed in among them. IseiLed that cursed s(eleton =oltaire, and soon compelled him to renounce all the errors he had advanced/ andwhile he spo(e the words, as if by magic charm, the whole assembly shrie(ed, and the pandemonium began totumble in hideous ruin on their heads.

I returned in triumph to the palace, where the Kueen rushed into my arms, weeping tenderly. 2>h, thouflower of nobility,2 cried she, 2were all the nobles of ?rance li(e thee, we should never have been brought tothisP2

I bade the lovely creature dry her eyes, and with the ;ing and 0auphin ascend my carriage, and drive post toMont)Medi, as not an instant was to be lost. "hey too( my advice and drove away. I conveyed them within afew miles of Mont)Medi, when the ;ing, than(ing me for my assistance, hoped I would not trouble myself any

farther, as he was then, he presumed, out of danger/ and the Kueen also, with tears in her eyes, than(ed me onher (nees, and presented the 0auphin for my blessing. In short, I left the ;ing eating a mutton chop. I advisedhim not to delay, or he would certainly be ta(en, and setting spurs to my horse, wished them a good evening,and returned to England. If the ;ing remained too long at table, and was ta(en, it was not my fault.



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