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What’sInside

September 12, 2011 Volume 107 Issue 3

Celebration of Excellence

OpinionsStudents talk about

what they think8

MemeTechnologically Impaired Duck

11

Auto ShowPreview of the

Frankfurt Auto Show5

Fire AlarmsThompson Hall hit by wave of false alarms

2

By Matthew WhiteAssistant Editor

On September 21, otherwise known as Reading Day, Kettering University will host its first-ever "Celebration of Excellence." The event will recog-nize the accomplishments of students, faculty, and staff. Employees who have joined Kettering within the last year, Service Award honorees, and the vari-ous faculty honors will be presented at the meeting, as well as top student achievements.

The Celebration of Excellence will be held in the International Room, beginning at 11am. Lunch will be served, and it is asked that all those who plan to attend rsvp to the campus-wide invitation. For students who had responded before September 8, a technical error caused their submissions to be dis-carded. They are requested to re-register themselves. The address of the invitation is:

https://okras.kettering.edu/kuapps/f ?p=EXCELLENCE:HOME

Kettering Given Another Honor

By Pat MroczekChief Public Relations Officer, Kettering University

Kettering University has been named a College of Distinction (http://www.collegesofdistinction.com/home.html) and is now featured on a web site that helps high school students, their parents and their high school counselors learn more about uni-versities that focus on student learning and success. Kettering joins a list that includes Bradley Universi-ty, Loyola University of Chicago, Marquette Univer-sity and the University of San Diego, among others.

Editor's note: For more information about the "College of Distinction" program , visit http://www.collegesofdistinction.com/about-colleges-of-distinction/what-is-a-college-of-distinction.html

By Allen HillakerAssistant Editor

Early in the morning on July 31, several individuals, who are believe to be Kettering students, entered the Academic building and did a significant amount of damage to school property. They opened the stand-pipe valve in the ab’s rear stairwell. This valve is de-signed for use by fire fighting staff and quickly flood-ed the stairwell. They also, in what Jim Benford, the head of campus safety, believes was an attempt to get on the roof, destroyed a lock and door. Once they made it onto the roof, they ripped up closed-circuit video camera conduit and attempted (and failed) to destroy a cctv camera. In addition, Mr. Benford said that campus safety found a partially discharged fire extinguisher and a loudspeaker from the ab in the bushes outside. He said that their next step in their investigation is to interview a number of indi-

viduals that may be responsible. The total cost to the school of the damage was estimated at over $3500.

Vandals Strike Academic Building

Photo courtesy of Kettering Communications

Flint's Amazing Race

By Matthew WhiteAssistant Editor

The television show "The Amazing Race" pit teams against each other in a global scavenger hunt of great proportions. Now, students from Flint's lo-cal colleges will have the opportunity to participate in a similar, but thankfully smaller, competition. The Flint Cultural Center is accepting registrations for "The Amazing Race: Flint Cultural Center" through September 26. Four days later, on September 30, up to 150 teams of two students will begin their search. The two participants who come in first will each be awarded an iPad 2, free tickets to Flint Cultural Center events, gift certificates to local restaurants, and other prizes. Second-place winners will also re-ceive some prizes.

For more information, and to register for the com-petition, go to flintculturalcenter.org/amazingrace.

The TechnicianPage 2

NewsSeries of Dorm Fire Alarms

By Jessica BruceTechnician Staff

No one in the dorms really appreciates being wo-ken up at 5:30 in the morning. On Sunday, July 31 the residents experienced their first fire alarm; the banshee scream of a fire alarm was pulled just be-fore 5:30 that morning. Residents had to evacuate Thompson Hall, with many stumbling out in paja-mas, robes, and some even in towels. A few minutes later, the alarms were turned off and everyone was allowed back in, but the residents were far from content. The next week, August 10, around 4:30pm, there was another fire alarm that was pulled, once again causing an evacuation. This time the culprits also vandalized the fire safety system, pulling a few heat sensors from the ceiling. Two days later another alarm went off; this one was simply maintenance re-pairing the vandalized heat sensors.

Each time the fire alarms go off, Resident Advisors and the Residence Life Director have to go through and check to make sure everyone has evacuated. Campus Safety then responds to the area where the alarm was pulled. “The Flint Fire Department was also called during the last alarm,” stated Jim Ben-ford, Chief of Campus Security. Too many false fire alarms can cause residents and officials not to take the alarms seriously if a real fire occurs in Thomp-son Hall. “Those responsible also have to realize that their not just putting themselves in danger, they’re putting 280 other people in danger,” Ms. Katie Bo-sio, the Director of Residence Life, said.

Both of the fire alarm pulls were located in Unit 24, with the heat sensor vandalism occurring in Unit

12. Residents received an e-mail from Ms. Bosio stat-ing that they would be charged $50 every time that a fire alarm was pulled purposely, unless the person(s) responsible [sic] is caught. “I would like residents to treat Thompson like their own home. Would they set off alarms on purpose or pull smoke alarms from the wall in their own home?” Ms. Bosio stated, “And I hope the answer to that question would be no.” Residence Life and Campus Security are still in-vestigating both incidents but if any of the residents have information regarding those responsible they should contact either Residence Life or Campus Security. “As there are no cameras or security equip-ment for the fire alarms it’s difficult to know who pulled the fire alarm and vandalized the heat sen-sors. “Hopefully the fine is enough motivation for those responsible to stop,” Ms. Bosio stated.

Residents are not content with the fire alarms be-ing pulled either, with many asking those respon-sible to bring the maturity level up a little. Libbi Staples, a Freshman I, stated her opinion on the first fire alarm: “That was not cool. I had only just got-ten to sleep at 2am and then some idiot decided to pull the fire alarm.” Residents complained about the alarms and were astonished over the cost, mainly complaining about their housing deposit being com-pletely gone after the cost of both alarms. The main way residents can help is to notify Residence Life or Campus Security if they know anything about who is responsible. Many of the residents are just hoping that the fire alarms do not get pulled anymore, not wanting to lose sleep or money.

Photo courtesy of Kettering Communications

Duck Race a Success

Janssen SmithPublic Relations Chairman, Phi Delta Theta

Thank you to all readers who helped the Duck Race be a great success this year! The brothers of Phi Delta Theta worked diligently in the past few weeks selling tickets for the race and raised a grand total of $1000 to donate to the Michigan Special Olympics.

The event was held at the Harrison Street Bridge in downtown Flint around 1pm on Saturday after-noon. Brothers climbed down into the river and arranged the race gear in preparation for the gruel-ing race that spanned the entire width of the bridge. The race very heated, to say the least. The front run-ners of the race were quite tired. Every rubber duck fought hard the entire race.

Prize winners:1st place Micaela Miles $2502nd place Kevin Kral $1003rd place Vino Mathew $50

If your duck ran a close race behind the podium, you will be contacted soon about claiming your prize.

Photos courtesy of Phi Delta Theta

September 12, 2011

TechnicianThe

Robert HayesE d i to r-i n- c h i ef

Allen HillakerAssistant Editor

Matthew WhiteAssistant Editor

Tyler Van EckCopy Editor

Alan XiaDistribution Editor

Staff writersDevin AryanJessica Bruce

Cynthia DiSarnoKorrine Ketchum

Isaac MeadowsAdlai MilbitzJohn Oliver

Marian Swagler

CartoonistMarie Klosowski

ProofreaderKaitlin Solovey

PhotographersMatthew HollandJoseph Stevenson

ColumnistDominic Jandrain

The Technician Page 3

Celebrate Hispanic HeritageBy the Society of Hispanic Professional Engineers

Hispanic Heritage 'month' starts on September 15 to recognize the impact and contributions of His-panic Americans. The Society of Hispanic Profes-sional Engineers (shpe) will be celebrating Hispan-ic heritage and culture on 10th Friday in the Great Court at lunch.

Shpe invites the Kettering campus to mark down September 16 on their calendars to come and en-

joy the festivities. Shpe will be having piñatas, ma-rachis, folklórico dancers, and Hispanic food. Shpe will also be having a Salsa/Guac-Off to see which members of the Kettering community make the best salsa and guacamole. Contact Racquel Lovelace (love7534@kettering.edu) or Cynthia DiSarno (disa3969@kettering.edu) for more information and to sign up to participate. Winners in each cat-egory will receive a prize.

SWE Crowns Mr. Kettering

By the Society of Women Engineers

This year's Mr. Kettering had plenty of talent, from bagpipes to storytelling. There were a total of ten participants that represented their fraternities, organizations on campus, and units from Thomp-son Hall. The Kettering men strutted their stuff in the categories of swimwear, talent, and "Prince Charming"-wear. Lastly, there was a question and answer category where some were asked, "How would you save the princess?" and "What does 'Hap-pily Ever After' mean to you?".

Swe would like to thank all of the contestants who participated and their supporters. The performances were fun and entertaining. Luke Douma, represent-ing Theta Xi, who is nothing less than that of an Evil Kenevil won over the judges and the crowd with his American prince charm and was crowned Mr. Ket-tering.

Pictured (top left) are Mr. Kettering Luke Douma (Theta Xi), Crowd favorite Aaron Hoffman(Phi Delta Theta), Runner-up Joseph Stevenson (Unit 22), Third place John Oliver (Delta Tau Delta). Photo courtesy of Cynthia DiSarno.

September 12, 2011

ASA Expresses Gratitude

By the sisters of Alpha Sigma AlphaFirst off, we would like to thank everyone who

came out to enjoy pancakes at our Pancake Brunch. Together, we raised over $350 for the Special Olym-pics. We could not have done it without the partici-pation from the Kettering community.

We love those who love spaghetti! We recently hosted our 4th Annual Spaghetti Dinner Fund-raiser on 9th Wednesday. The event was held at our house (924 E. 6th St.) from 5–9pm. The funds raised contributed towards improvements to our house. Thank you for joining us for good food, good fun, and a great time.

College Town SeriesAll shows begin at 9pm and are free to students

September 22 — Super 8(U.S., 2011) Directed by J.J. Abrams,112 min., rated PG-13 The 2011-12 College Town series opens with the

blockbuster sci-fi thriller about a weird small-town phenomenon that follows a catastrophic train crash. Elle Fanning, Amanda Michalka and Kyle Chandler head the cast for writer-director J.J. Abrams and ex-ecutive producer Steven Spielberg.

September 29 — I'm Still Here(U.S., 2010) Directed by Casey Affleck, 108 min., rated ROffbeat star Joaquin Phoenix is the subject of a

comic documentary about the actor’s odd attempt at a rap career. Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito and Bruce Willis are among those glimpsed in cameos during Phoenix’s year-long endeavor.

October 6 — Phase 7(Argentina, 2011) Directed by Nicolas Goldbart, 95 min., subtitled, rated RThis highly regarded horror film from Argentina

concerns a virus epidemic that renders its victims into a zombie-like state.

October 20 — Midnight in Paris(U.S., 2005) Directed by Phil Morrison, 106 min., rated RAmy Adams made an early film appearance – and

earned her first Oscar nomination – in this indie comedy-drama. A dealer in “outsider” art travels from Chicago to North Carolina to meet her new in-laws, challenging the equilibrium of the middle-class Southern home.

October 27 — Ringu(Japan, 1998) Directed by Hideo Nataka,96 min., subtitled, not ratedJapan’s all-time box office horror hit, this film

spawned the American remake The Ring, but it’s even better. A reporter hears stories about people who are killed after viewing a videotape containing disturbing images. She doubts the tale—until she views the tape herself and strange things begin to happen.

FOMA Film SeriesSept. 9–10 (7:30pm), Sept. 11 (2pm) The Tree of LifeSept. 16–17 (7:30pm), Sept. 18 (2pm): IncendiesSept. 23–24 (7:30pm), Sept. 25 (2pm) Even the RainSept. 23–24 (7:30pm), Sept. 25 (2pm) Even the RainOct. 7–8 (7:30pm), Oct. 9 (2pm) BellflowerOct. 14–15 (7:30pm), Oct. 16 (2pm) Cave of Forgotten DreamsOct. 21–22 (7:30pm), Oct. 23 (2pm) Meek’s CutoffOct. 28–29 (7:30pm), Oct. 30 (2pm) The Double Hour

Editor's Note: For more information, visit flintarts.org.

Flint Institute of Arts Movies

The TechnicianPage 4

TechnologyHewlett-Packard Misfire

By Devin AryanTechnician Staff

Hewlett-Packard, an electronics company more commonly known as hp, recently released their very own tablet, called, quite originally, the hp Touch-Pad. The tablet, allowing hp to join the market of the newest generations of tablets, a market that so many other electronics companies are already in, did not do as well as some would have hoped.

Being very similar to every other tablet released thus far, the hp TouchPad honestly brings nothing new to the table. This may not sound too bad, for it simply means that diehard hp fans can buy the tab-let, and folks who are going into the tablet market as a consumer have yet another option to choose from. One must keep in mind, however, how late in the game it is. The hp TouchPad was released July 1 in the United States, but that is a good four months after the iPad 2, which was released March 11. In ad-

dition to this time lapse, those four months allowed the iPad 2 to gain the title of supremacy in the tablet market, with its predecessor the iPad still not too far behind.

Feature-wise, as stated above, the hp TouchPad adds nothing new. Having all the usual; Wi-Fi, vid-eo chat, and common apps, nothing in the hp tablet sets it apart from the competitors. The iPad 2, hav-ing everything the hp TouchPad does, even beats the tablet in battery life. Plus, with the initial price on the hp TouchPad being similar to the iPad 2’s prices, there was really no reason not to buy an iPad 2 instead of the TouchPad.

Initial sales were horrible. According to BestBuy, only 25,000 units had been sold by August 16, and the retailer had purchased 270,000. BestBuy even re-fused to pay hp for the tablets not sold, and demand-ed hp to buy all the excess back, which is an issue yet to be resolved. As a result for the extremely poor

showing , hp an-n o u n c e d that it w o u l d d i s c o n -tinue the TouchPad and would turn its fo-cus from the tablet market, also giving permission to retailers to sell the excess inventory for extremely lowered prices, some as cheap as $99.00. As a result of the price drop, how-ever, the TouchPad shot off the shelves, with stores such as Barnes and Noble being sold out within the first hour of the drop.

This drastic change in sales, however, gave hp an inkling of hope, and a week after announcing the discontinuation of the tablet, hp announced that they would have another production run of the TouchPad. This having been announced August 30th, the results of this decision have yet to be seen. Two questions currently on consumer minds are "Will the price stay low?" and "How many more will be produced? "

So when it comes down to it, the hp TouchPad has one victory over competitors; price. If hp does not raise the price of the tablet with the new pro-duction set, the tablet may continue selling strong. If the price does rise, however, the iPad 2 would be a much better choice. The ball is now in hp's court, what will happen to the future of their tablet market depends on their next move.

Photos courtesy of Hewlett-Packard

September 12, 2011

TechnicianThe

Come on and

TECHNO!

Techno with

11th TuesdayBJ's Lounge

9pm 'til Midnight

The Technician Page 5

AutomotiveFrankfurt Auto Show Preview

By Robert HayesEditor-in-chief

On September 15, the halls of the Frankfurt Trade Fair Grounds will open to visitors of the 64th bienni-al International Automobile Exhibition, otherwise known as the Frankfurt Auto Show. 2011 marks the show’s 110th year, and auto makers from around the world will be in attendance, eager to show their lat-est models, with European manufacturers particu-larly keen to offer austerity-stricken Europe a taste of the latest and greatest technology their reborn industry has to offer.

Volkswagen will be showing the production ver-sion of their highly acclaimed Up! concept vehicles. The 2012 Volkswagen Up! marks a return to Volk-swagen’s roots as a brand for the everyman. Like the original Beetle before it, the 2011 Up! promises worry-free motoring for the masses, though with technology a Beetle driver could only dream of. Us-ing a new line of BlueMotion 1.0 liter three-cylinder engines, the Up! will produce either 59 or 74 horse-power, and return around 55 mpg combined on the European test cycle. Available in December, the Up! will once again provide European drivers with a taste

of the sophisticated simplicity that Volkswagen was once known for.

Other production reveals at the show appear to be limited. Fiat is launching a redesigned Panda at the Frankfurt show, as well as detailing plans to import the Chrysler 200 Convertible to Europe badged as the Lancia Flavia. The new Flavia joins the Chrysler

300 and Chrysler Town and Country in the pseudo-luxury Italian automaker’s fleet, with the original two Americans rebadged as the Lancia Thema and Lancia Voyager, respectively. Other production de-buts include bmw’s new 1-Series, as well as their new i3 and i8 plug-in hybrids, Mazda’s new cx-5 compact crossover, Mercedes’ new B-Class compact, and the 2012 Toyota Yaris subcompact.

On the concept front, Ford looks set to steal the show with the Ford Evos Concept, a stunning coupe with lines that evoke memories of the gt cars of the 1960s. While the new Evos Concept’s svelte body-work and exaggerated DeLorean-esque gullwing doors aren’t likely to see production unchanged, they provide a clear glimpse into Ford’s post-Kinetic design language. Under the hood of the Evos, Ford’s plug-in hybrid powertrain promises more than 500 miles of driving range using “cloud-optimized” soft-ware to optimize powertrain energy modes based on driving history, and optimizing gps guidance based on traffic patterns and accident data. Evos is more than just a design exercise, however. It is a clear fore-runner to the 2013 Fusion/Mondeo, Ford’s second truly global car, tentatively scheduled for a debut at the North American International Auto Show in January.

Another stunning concept at the Frankfurt show is the Jaguar c-x16 Concept. The c-x16 Concept provides a stunning glimpse into the future of the much-maligned British luxury marque. After de-cades of financial drudgery, the c-x16 Concept shows that Jaguar’s new corporate overlords, India’s Tata Group, are willing to invest in the company’s

future. With lines that recall the xk roadster, the c-x16 packs a punch that should easily make it a compelling alternative to the Porsche Cayman. Un-der the sleek hood of the c-x16 Concept is a 3.0 liter v6 engine generating 376 horsepower and 332 pound-feet of torque. Coupled to a hybrid drive-train that can move the big Jag on electric power alone below 50 mph, the new coupe is capable of 0–60 miles per hour in a brisk 4.3 seconds, on par with the Cayman.

On the other end of the scale is the Citroën Tu-bik Concept, an mpv concept that borders on the fantastic. Part Volkswagen Microbus and part Air-stream trailer, the Tubik concept features a number of unique styling features, including a driver’s seat that cocoons the driver, and plum colored uphol-stery on an extremely flexible seating system. But for all its styling quirks, Citroën isn’t providing any more information about the concept until the show begins.

While all the information on the cars being launched at this year’s Frankfurt Auto Show has not been released yet, all the initial signs of a successful show are present. With over 25 production debuts expected, the Frankfurt show is certain to be a must-watch for auto enthusiasts.

Editor's Note: For more information about the 64th International Motor Show, commonly called the Frankfurt Auto Show, visit their web site at http://www.iaa.de/en

September 12, 2011

Volkswagon Up! Photo courtesy of Volkswagon

Interior of the Volkswagon Up! Photo courtesy of Volkswagon

Ford Evos Photo courtesy of Ford

Jaguar c-x16 Photo courtesy of Jaguar

Citroën Tubik Photo courtesy of Citroën

The TechnicianPage 6

Photo MontageSeptember 12, 2011

Above, Debroah Stewart, members of ksg, and Dr. Robert McMahan pose in front of a freshly-painted painted General Determination. September 1 was Dr. McMahan's inaugural bulldog painting.

Below, students wished concrete was in-teractive after spotting this replica of Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man in the Pool.

Photos courtesy of Kettering Communications

The Technician Page 7September 12, 2011

The Woodward Dream Cruise

The 17th annual Woodward Dream Cruise was held on August 20. Draw-ing in over 1 million visitors, the car cruise is one of the biggest in the world.

Photos courtesy of Joseph Stevenson

The TechnicianPage 8

OpinionEmbers Review

By Dominic JandrainAs some of you may

remember, 2010 saw a great increase in arson fires in the Flint area. Andrew Morton, the project director of Em-bers, returned to Flint in spring last year, and became aware of the burning city around him. As a self-pro-claimed ‘artist with a

social mission,’ Mr. Morton, with the help of a group of U of M Flint students, interviewed those affect-ed by the fire and compiled the script for Embers. Composed of verbatim dialogue from the inter-views and music written by local musician Hannah Fralick, the performance tells the stories of students, residents, and firefighters as the fires raged through Flint last year.

The performance begins with an interpretive dance of sorts, the cast flicking lighters along to the music in lieu of snapping their fingers. Chairs and other furniture pieces serve as props during the opening, being held to create structures around cast members, and then violently shaken and pulled away. After the piece finishes, cast members act out parts of the interviews that were conducted, telling the stories of students and residents, and how they were affected by the hundreds of fires that occurred in Flint last year. Two more musical compositions and dances separate the performance further, be-tween which the audience hears the tales of fire-

fighters risking their lives, innocent victims burning in the arson-induced flames, and homeowners living in neighborhoods that were going up in flames. The stories flow elegantly from harsh, sad tales to hope-ful outlooks for the future. Throughout the perfor-mance, the cast contemplate with each other about who started the fires, what to do about the situation, why the government won’t provide an adequate budget for the fire departments, and many other is-sues. The performance concludes with messages of hope for a better future for Flint, and offers a few ideas and advice to those who wish to help.

The performance was quite enjoyable, and the audience left with a much better understanding of what effects arsons are having on Flint. The perfor-mance did a fantastic job of covering all sides of the issues at hand, and for those who were at all interest-ed in the Flint fires, this performance was definitely worth seeing.

Schedule Change Not Completely TerribleBy Jon Oliver

I remember the first day I checked my e-mail after the trimester proposal was released. There were at least ten angry e-mails about how the change in schedule would mean the end of Kettering. I would have to agree with them that yes it would be an end

to Kettering as we know it, but not to Kettering as a whole. There have been many changes over the years including the name change from GMI to Kettering. With all the changes Kettering has always made it through. I believe the trimester change will be no different. While I am not for the change, I am glad to see the Provost is exploring his options. It is after all his job.

I know many students say that the only reason that they came to school is because of the co-op. Ketter-ing will still be one of the only schools that requires the co-op experience to graduate. Despite all the doom and gloom of co-op ending we may only loose one term of co-op. We will also not be required to go to co-op during the summer. In fact, with the

new system a student could very easily work during all three trimesters during his time at Kettering.

I have also heard many people in the Greek system say that their house would not be able to hold all the members of both sections, but for some houses they would finally have enough members to keep a reasonably sized house. The houses that have too many members to house would have exceptionally low house bills and the members who live out would be able to find roommates very easily. For those who say that the two sections are very different in their houses, I agree there may be some tension at first, but the values that the principals a house is founded on should be universal through all chapters and pro-vide some common ground. All this means is that trimesters would not murder Greek life as many have speculated.

I have heard many students say if the school switches to trimesters they are going to leave. While some students may be leave, the majority are too far along in their degree and too involved in organiza-tions to leave. If these students were really serious about stopping the trimester change they would do more than just complain. The Technician has only received one constructive article written in opposi-tion to the change. I have not seen students picket-ing the CC. I have not even seen a petition being

circulated to be signed by students who want to stop trimesters. I encourage students who feel very pas-sionately to do any of these things and stop annoy-ing their peers with their rehashed complaints.

Change is not the worst thing in the world, despite what students may say, or yell. While it may be hard to believe, change can bring about good things too. We no longer calculate on slide rules, we don’t write on chalk boards if dry-erase boards are available and we don’t use hand drafting when we have access to computer modeling. There may be some benefits to trimesters and they may make school easier. I don’t like change as much as everyone else, but at least I am open to it.

Editor's Note: You have heard opinions from both sides on the issues regarding the schedule change proposals. Now The Technician would like to hear from you! Write up a quick piece on your thoughts on the schedule change. After you are done, send it to us at atechnician@kettering.edu. Within reason, we will print any student opinions. For more information, and deadlines, see the Submissions Policy above.

September 12, 2011

Submissions PolicyThe Technician encourages any interested stu-

dents to attend staff meetings, held each Tuesday and Friday over the lunch hour in The Technician office, located on the 3rd floor of the Campus Cen-ter by Campus Life. Student submissions are en-couraged and will be published if their material is in the public interest.

Submissions or letters to the editor from fac-ulty or administrative entities will be published if space is available. The Technician reserves the right to edit any and all submissions for brevity.

Anonymous submissions are rarely published and will be considered on a case-by-case basis. In-dividuals wishing to publish anonymously should consult the editor-in-chief.

While this is the final issue of The Technician for this term, The Technician Magazine will be distributed at Late Night Breakfast, held during 11th week. The deadline for magazine article sub-missions is 10th Thursday. Send submissions to atechnician@kettering.edu.

The Technician Page 9

Robot Society InducteesSeptember 12, 2011

Huong ChimGreetings, I am Huong Chim and I am a senior

from Grand Rapids, Michigan. I am an electrical engineer with a business management minor. I work for Dematic Corporation in Grand Rapids, MI. My first term I started my involvement with KSG Academic Council and the following term I ran for sophomore representative of Student Senate and I’ve been involved with KSG ever since. In the past I held many positions on Academic Council and was Vice President of Student Senate. Currently, I am President of the student body. I have been making strides to make KSG more represented on campus as well as voicing student concerns through the admin-istration. I’m working diligently to get all councils of KSG to be more effective as well as working on several projects to advance student life on campus. When I’m not on campus, I am socializing with my sorority sisters. I’ve held several positions in my so-rority, Alpha Sigma Alpha, including the position of chapter president. I’ve been honored to have been elected and to have served in all of my organizations. I wish to continue being a part of a better tomorrow for the people around me.

Nikki FindlayNikki Findlay, daughter of Mark and Dianne

Findlay, is a Mechanical Engineering student with a concentration in Bioengineering and a minor in Biochemistry from San Angelo, Texas. Her co-op is at Biomet in Warsaw, Indiana. She enjoys being involved on campus through such positions as presi-dent of Engineers Without Borders, president of Pre-Med Club, and Resident Advisor in Thompson Hall. She is committed to volunteer service at home and abroad- as a freshman Nikki was part of a team to assess and repair biosand filters in Mexico, and she is currently involved in several projects in the Flint area. She is also a Kettering LEADERs fellow, a Michigan Service Scholar, a Student Ambassador, and a Kagle tutor. She has served as a New Women Student Mentor and as a Kettering representative to the Flint Institute of Arts. She is a member of the Society of Women Engineers and Alpha Phi Frater-nity, and in 2012 Nikki will serve as the president of Pan-Hellenic Council.

Margaret Walch

Margaret Walch, the daughter of Terry and Eliz-abeth Walch of Chelsea, Mich. She is majoring in Mechanical Engineering and has worked as a co-op at both Pratt & Whiney in Lansing, Mich., and GE Aviation in Cincinnati, Ohio. Margaret has con-tributed to the development of the Aerospace En-gineering Specialty on campus, and is a founding member of Kettering’s SAE Aero Design Team and Aerospace Club. In addition, she is treasurer of Tau Beta Pi, and has been a member of Kappa Mu Ep-silon, Pi Tau Sigma, Society of Women Engineers, and Greener Engineering Organization.

Off campus, Walch is an active member of the community. She regularly volunteers at the Tom Geiger Guest House a transitional home for women and children, St. Louis Center for the developmen-tally disabled, teaches youth religious education classes, and participates in a variety of additional community service events.

Ben Karczewski

Ben Karczewski, a senior Mechanical Engineering major, Business minor from Grand Rapids, MI.

Ben currently serves as the Executive Director of Up ‘til Dawn, a national collegiate program that raises funds and awareness for Saint Jude Children’s Research Hospital. He has also served on KSG as the Activities Chair for Operations Council and was named the Outstanding Council member of the 2010-2011 school year. Ben is a fellow in the Ketter-ing LEADERS leadership development program, and has also attended the Leadershape National Institute. He is also a regular member of Engineers Without Borders. During work term Ben works extensively with the Pancreatic Cancer Action Net-work National Capital Area Affiliate.

He has previously worked as a recreation assistant, and has also participated in recreational clubs such as Aquaneers, Mixed Martial Arts, Outdoors, Wres-tling, and Intramural Indoor Volleyball. Ben is a rec-reational triathlete recently competing in an Iron-man 70.3, and he completed the 2010 Marine Corps Marathon raising funds for Medical Ministries In-ternational. He will pursue a full time engineering position upon graduation.

Student photos courtesy of the Robot Society

Bulldog photo courtesy of Kettering Communications

The TechnicianPage 10

EntertainmentExciting New Changes for Kettering

By John OliverEntertainment Columnist

With the fourth floor of Thompson Residence Hall now closed due to leaking Kettering now finds its self at a cross roads. Kettering has two options on how to deal with the collapsing residence hall. They can either hire contractors to fix the hall, or they can let the engineers at Kettering work their magic us-ing President McMahan’s newly proposed resident construction projects.

Dr. McMahan has already started to shake things up with many exciting new proposals to improve the educational experience at Kettering. His first major victory was getting the board to approve his new meal plan, which involves releasing hundreds of chicken, deer, goat, and cows into the fenced in area that use to be GM manufacturing facilities. Next ev-ery new freshman will be given a club and be sent into the empty lot to hunt for his food. Dr. McMa-han said, “It will provide the students with activities while promoting physical fitness. Imagine how fast all of our students will be if they have to out run a deer to eat.”

Then next newly proposed change is the switch from a grass beach to a sand beach, and a stone pool

to a water one. Many members of the board were ap-prehensive about change and the inherent liability of having a pool and a beach without a life guard, but Dr. McMahan assured the board, “Dudes it will be so awesome. We could put a diving board on top of the bell tower and put up signs that say no shirt, no shoes, no problem.” The board was sold and Dr. McMahan immediately ran outside and turned on a hose to fill up the pool, before realizing that it would have to have some slight changes made to it before it would be ready to hold water. He said, “It was a dis-appointment realizing that we had to build up the sides and fill in all the cracks, I mean I had already cut of the sleeves and bottoms of my pants of my suit to make shorts, but whatever.”

One of the most exiting changes is the proposal to instead of fixing the Residences hall making a required engineering construction project for all living in the residence hall. The project would con-sist of the residents taking the rubble of the crum-bling residence hall and constructing for themselves makeshift hobbles in the grassy patch behind where the current residence hall lies. Dr. McMahan said, “It will involve a little initial cost to really collapse Thompson Hall, but honestly the residence hall is a couple solid kicks away from a pile of rubble. I’m

thinking about making it into a contest to see who can collapse the Thompson Hall most best.”

Some students have already started designing their dream room for next year. Freshman Dillon Kipkey told me about his plan, “I want to dig about six feet into the ground so I can get a little of the basement effect for those hot summer days. I will probably not have to use as much brick, which I am expecting to become a hot commodity next term. I want to slant my roof so that it will deflect the rain. I have been eyeing a piece of vent that would be perfect for the roof.” The school has recognized the risk of leaving students out in open in Flint, and they are offering free sunglasses and wristband usbs to all students.

On top of all these changes Dr. McMahan has proposed a change from our standard four term year to a dodecahmester. The dodecahmester will allow us to compete with other schools by making it easier to transfer out of Kettering, giving them reassurance when they come here that they can always leave. Dr. McMahan said, “Trimesters, I’m past that… four times past that. Dodecahmesters will put our school on the cutting edge of university systems by having us mach up perfectly with other colleges.”

Thompson Hall’s Bathroom Solution

Why It WorksBy Kaitlin SoloveyTechnician Staff

Thompson Hall has always been known as a fan-tastic place to live, and this summer, it’s gotten even better. Since all of the girls couldn’t fit into the girls’ unit on the second floor, a coed unit was put on the third floor right next to its very own unisex bath-room.

Originally, most of the girls’ rooms were next to the unisex bathroom and most of the guys’ rooms were closer to the men’s bathroom. That worked: the girls could share the unisex bathroom with the guys from the adjacent unit and the other guys could use the men’s bathroom at the other end of the hallway. Eventually, some girls from the coed unit became displeased enough with the unisex bathroom to warrant looking for a way around; apparently, girls just don’t particularly enjoy sharing a bathroom with guys. Their solution was to go down a flight of stairs to use the women’s bathroom by the all-girls’ unit, and lo and behold: the women’s bathroom was clean! There were no problems with the lighting, no dead bugs in pooled sink water, more stall doors closed without struggle, and everything looked a lit-tle dated but well-maintained. Only girls used that bathroom, so not having to blow-dry their hair be-side a guy shaving his face was merely another perk. Unfortunately for those using the coed bathroom,

a lot of girls preferred this environment. In fact, so many girls from the coed unit liked the women’s bathroom so much, they wanted one of their very own.

Complaints were made, and someone must have listened; about halfway through the semester, ev-eryone in the coed unit received the following mes-sage from their ra, Briana Reprogle: “Hi everyone, in case you haven't noticed, the men's bathroom at the end of our hall has been changed to a women's and the bathroom at the end of [Unit] 34 has been changed from women's to men's. I expect everyone to respect the new designations.” The girls in the coed unit had their very own women’s bathroom complete with urinals, subpar maintenance, and male visitors that weren’t about to change their life-styles after 6th week.

Situation resolved. Girls got their women’s bath-room and guys are now expected to walk down the entire hall to use the unisex bathroom. However, the girls and guys of the coed unit got more out of this situation than a new women’s bathroom and a unisex bathroom that’s still used by both sexes: they will soon know the wonderfully awkward feeling of avoiding eye contact with toweled members of the opposite sex while heading to their respective bath-rooms.

Editor's Note: Although Miss Solovey points out a troubling issue, the tone of the article and its heavy use of sarcasm found only the Entertainment page acceptable.

September 12, 2011

xkcd

The bug report was marked "could not reproduce."

The Technician Page 11

Meme of the MonthTechnologically Impaired Duck

By Dominic JaindrainEntertainment Columnist

Technologically Impaired Duck is yet another Advice Dog spinoff that has been around for a little while now. This incompetent duck’s captions are in-spired by people that don’t know much about com-puters, cell phones, etc. and their hilariously wrong beliefs and methods of dealing with technology they don’t know much about. Sure, it sounds a bit mean to laugh at the expense of our elders and the tech-nology they seem to find so confusing, but this is the internet we’re talking about here; everyone gets made fun of at some point. Most of the captions are pretty hilarious too, with things like turning off the firewall so the computer cools down, downloading free smileys, and sending money to Nigerian princes.

An interesting thing to note about Technologi-cally Impaired Duck is that it is among one of the

earlier advice animals that actually followed the ‘animal’ template. Most newer ones don’t bother to find an animal to represent a stereotypical person, and instead use pictures of actual people that look like they fit the description. A few notable examples of these are Good Guy Greg, Scumbag Steve, An-noying Facebook Girl, and Uber Frosh. While these are still hilarious, it’s taking the lazy way out. Also, the pictures are of actual people, who eventually find out that a picture of them went viral online and sometimes aren’t too happy about it. Come on, in-ternet, stop being insensitive and lazy and start us-ing animals again. No more wolves though: there are like three already. Seriously. /rant

September 12, 2011

ComicBy Marie KlosowskiTechnician Cartoonist

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