the weekly 01/07

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the VOL. 7, ISSUE 1 2 CREEPING COOLIO 6 CHICAGO COMEDY 8 YOU WORE THAT? have you seen this?”

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The Weekly 01/07

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Page 1: The Weekly 01/07

the

VOL. 7, ISSUE 1

2 CREEPING COOLIO 6 CHICAGO

COMEDY 8 YOU WORE THAT?

“have

you

seenthis?”

Page 2: The Weekly 01/07

I drove into Tampa, Fla., early in the afternoon on Dec. 31 with a full car of senior Northwest-ern students ready to enjoy New Year’s Eve

and the Outback Bowl. We set up in our hotel room to plot out our night, but as more friends ar-rived in Tampa, we stopped planning and started arguing about how to pronounce “Ybor City” (Turns out its “EE-bore” not “WHY-bore” or the inspired “Yibber”). So the plan was to wing it.

We caught a cab over to Ybor’s 7th Av-enue and watched the beginning of the parade through a bar window. Then someone saw Mardi Gras beads being thrown around. We rushed outside and watched a weird mix of high school bands and tipsy bead chuckers pass by. One of my friends even ended up taking some purple beads away from a very tiny Auburn fan.

As the parade ended, policemen removed the barricades, and it is totally apparent that behind the crowds of people, the street was lined with bars, bars and more bars. One of us even ended up in a valiant dance-off on top of the bar at Coy-ote Ugly. Go U!

We eventually went in search of food when a bouncer from a second-story pub screamed down to us that we had to come up for, “the cold-est beer in the world.” We screamed back up at him to ask how his food was and got a “meh.” Eventually we found some cheeseburgers, re-laxed, and tipped the waitress in, among other things, beads.

After exploring Ybor until around 10 p.m., someone got the idea to find out how the rest of Tampa was ringing in the New Year, so we hopped in cabs over to Channelside and met up with some more Northwestern fans. The crowd was a bigger mix of football fans and locals, and it was clear that people were enjoying them-selves. On quick survey, we found paper napkins streaming out of a Greek bar like confetti, a street performer dressed as Obi-Wan who accepted PayPal donations in front of a Hooter’s, and the most ridiculous sign ever: Bennigan’s $5 cover.

We also ran into two confused Alabama girls in front of the Bennigan’s that were desperately envious of our beads and willing to do about anything to get them —except give a good expla-nation as to why they were rooting for their rival Auburn the next day. The South is confusing.

I had settled on some neon purple drink to show my pride when I got a call from some people who had found a DJ and dance floor, so a group of us went to investigate. Turns out it was inside a bowling alley. It was also the Au-burn bar for the night. We worked our way back to the corner dance floor, and in the process one of us crashed into a staircase and got a nice gash—last party scar of the decade! Dancing was fun but we all were disturbed when the Auburn fans started grinding to their fight song. Later a phone rang in my pocket and I reached down only to find out that it 1) wasn’t mine and 2) was next to a six-inch industrial bolt. No idea when those got there. Luckily the phone belonged to someone I was with. He took it back but didn’t want the bolt.

Eventually we got ready to leave but couldn’t find an empty cab, though we finally ended up at the hotel, only to find some overly smug Auburn fans loitering around the elevators and talking trash. One of us gave them a real verbal bashing, which culminated in, “You aren’t pretty enough to be this stupid.” Suddenly it felt like a real rivalry.

That night we all crashed in piles on the beds and floor of the hotel room and set a dozen phone alarms to get us up in the morning (we called the front desk for a wake up call too but at some point in the night, the hotel phone was angrily unplugged).We woke up early and got over to the stadium in the pouring rain. They were selling orange ponchos but had no purple, so we got wet. I don’t need to rehash how the en-tire game went, but I couldn’t have asked for a better game to start the New Year, even if it was a heartbreaker.

After much post-break slaving and scrambling, I’m proud to present the first Weekly issue of the year. In honor of Northwestern making its auspicious ap-pearance at the Outback Bowl, our entire issue is sports-themed. Managing Editor Sara Peck gives us the hectic story of Krissy Cox, the NU cheerleader who was bashed across campus after slighting the Cats in ESPN Magazine, Sarah Freishat talks to one of the most acclaimed IM sports stars on campus, and new sports columnist Sam Allard muses about being in the Big Ten and the US News Top 10 (almost, but we can dream, right?).

We’ve shaken up the departments a lit-tle and are introducing three new sections: True Love Ways, where NU students reflect on love; Fashion Breakdown, where our writers analyze the best and worst of cam-pus fashion; and Almost Famous, where musicians tell us how they got their big breaks.

Finally I would like to invite all of you to check our brand new Web Site, which will update with content every day start-ing next Monday, at dailynorthwestern.com/the-weekly.

It’s going to be an exciting quarter– thanks for reading!

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WEEKLY EDITORS

Coolio Channels The Jersey shoreWhile Coolio may have lit up the charts

when we were still being dressed by our moms, cavorting with the “Gangsta’s Para-dise” star during Ski Trip over Winter break was easier than waving your blacked out hands in the air like you just don’t care. When Coolio finally took the stage way later than scheduled (rumors were circulating that he was too drunk/high/whatever to per-form), he acknowledged between songs to a swaying crowd of Northwestern students he was old enough to be their “daddy.” This recognition, however, did not stop him from preying on a number of the co-eds in atten-dance. Unfortunately, his persistence went beyond hoisting frightened-looking females over his shoulder and carrying them around the stage while performing. When he re-tired to his “green room” after the show, the female senior who had won of a free copy of Cooking with Coolio went back to have it au-tographed. He had her sit on his lap, craned his neck around and, staring at her chest, said, “Feed me.” The strange comments con-tinued when he, after spotting a different se-nior female, said to his posse, “She looks like she has a small cervix.” He then turned to the (allegedly) small-cervixed girl and said, “But I can dilate it for you.” Later, after she had finally escaped (literally—he had pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his leg around her so she couldn’t move), he came back up to her and said, “You should trade in these

small fries for a Big Mac.” He then grabbed her face and tried to make out with her. Her response? “I’m a vegetarian.”

The MosT exCiTing sTunT yeTIf you thought the Krissy Cox PR night-

mare was the worst thing going on with those pom-pom shakers, you were wrong. Two ex-cheerleading coaches have been prowling the team’s practices lately. Anthony Ryan and Danny Rose, who some say drove some cheerleaders to resign, showed up to practice unannounced and tried to reconnect with their former students. Adding alcohol to the problem doesn’t make it better; Ryan was spotted plastered at the Outback Bowl carry-ing on about his former purple glory. What? Be drunk at a football game over the age of 22? Shame on him.

Bruised ego...and faCe..and Tail?If being trapped in a heavy cat mask

and costume made of non-breathable fabric wasn’t bad enough, poor Willie the Wildcat (actually, there are six of them) has to take a physical beating, too. At one game, the poor co-ed beneath the feline costume got the utter poop kicked out of him by fans of the opposing team, but couldn’t fight back for fear that his mask would fall off. Now Willies have to travel in twos—one to pose with kid-dies and their overzealous parents, and one to serve as a furless bodyguard. Grrrr?

After Northwestern cheerleader Krissy Cox’s Dec. 14 appearance in ESPN Maga-zine, students demonstrated serious ag-gravation with allegedly traitorous anti-school spirit. In light of that, this week, we set out to prove that NU students aren’t as apathetic as our BCS opponents believe. We asked 100 students in Norris a simple question: Did you watch the Outback Bowl? Many of the watchers only channel-surfed through the highlights, or caught the ESPN rehashing afterward. One foot-ball player (don’t worry, he counts un-der the “watch” category) replied that he didn’t catch it—he was there. Fair enough.

THE WEEKLY MEMO

the

EDITOR IN CHIEFjeremy gordon [email protected]

MANAGING EDITORsara peck [email protected]

ASSISTANT EDITORScoco keevan [email protected] rhodes [email protected]

ART DIRECTORbrittney wong [email protected]

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTORjaimie vaillancourt [email protected]

COPY EDITORjennifer haderspeck [email protected]

contact the weekly at:847.491.4901

send confirmed and denied tips to the managing editor

want to join our staff?e-mail our editor in chief

A weekly supplement to The Daily NorThwesTerN.

SURVEY IN NORRISsports apathy

JereMy gordon

Did you watch Northwestern play in the Outback Bowl?

2 the weekly 01.07.10

weekly

HEAD FIRSTa carload of seldom-sober seniors heads to the outback Bowl

daVid henning

56 44NO YES

I dIdn’t watch the

game

I watched (at least part

of) the game

Page 3: The Weekly 01/07

NU Class of 2010:Last chance for

SENIOR PORTRAITSJanuary 12th-19th

To schedule a time that's convenient for YOU,Go to OurYear.com

Enter NU School Code: 87150All sittings take place in Norris. A $10 fee is required.

Questions? E-mail [email protected] or visit NUsyllabus.comThis is your very last opportunity!

social diary [a Communication junior gets back into the Evanston swing]

30 wednesday 31 thursday 01 friday 02 saturday 03 sunday 04 monday 05 tuesdayNote to self: Don’t date married men. Since returning from my Fall Quarter in Madrid, I have sadly lost touch with all of my Spanish boyfriends. One I just found out is married, so that is kind of self-explanatory, and since I was also dating his co-worker, I guess that one is also self-explanatory. But the Spanish men are like Spanish wine—better with age, especially aged 30 years and 42 years.

New Year’s Eve has always been my favorite “holiday.” Too bad I have been bedridden for the past five days. Turns out I have hardcore strep throat and the only way to get rid of it is to be on the two strongest antibiotics at the same time! I didn’t know that 2009 changed to 2010 when I mixed them with champagne by accident...oops?

Woke up at 4 p.m., com-pletely delirious. Had my brother feed me yo-gurt. Packing today? Ha, good joke. Goodnight.

I thought packing two suitcases for four months was hard; I forgot about packing for Northwestern. Between my going-out clothes, themed costumes, printer and sheets, I only forgot a desk lamp and underwear... FML.

Remember move-in day in September when you were sweating climbing up the stairs to your room? Wanna do that again? Neither did I, so I nearly caused my dad to have a heart attack climbing up to the third floor while I as-sembled the king-size bed in my dingle. Although my walls are still bare, I can already tell this room is go-ing to see a lot of scandal.

Oh, The Keg of Evan-ston, what a great way to be welcomed back to Northwestern... NOT. I’m used to going to the clubs at 1:30 a.m. and taking the metro home at 6 a.m. while all the businessmen stare judgmentally at my heels and torn tights, not gawking freshman and sweaty, creepy Evansto-nians.

Whoever invented 9 a.m. and 6 p.m.-to-9 p.m. classes should be killed. But whoever signs up for both in one day is an idiot—welcome to my life. I experienced only one awkward encounter after Keg Monday. I guess I deserved it because I told the bouncer not to let a girl in. I mean, if you talk crap about me while I’m abroad and don’t think I will get you back for it, you are sadly mistaken.

the weekly 3 01.07.10

Most college students rejoice when a pregnancy test is negative. My Nana doesn’t see it that way.

Nana Keller, my great-grandmother is the 5-foot even, 85-pound matriarch of the family. After surviving 97 years and three generations of Keller offspring, she is completely sound of mind and body. This is why I was so confused on my 18th birthday when she pulled me aside to have a private word.

“You’re getting so grown-up,” she clucked while patting my hand in that way old people always do when they’re talking to you. I smiled and said something along the lines of “thank-you,” being the gracious and perfect great-grand-daughter that I am. Feeling the conversation was over and my birthday-hostess duties had been met for the day, I moved to turn away from her. But she held on. Tight.

My Nana pulled me in close. Very close. So close that an unusual amount of Chanel No. 5 found its way up my nose at an alarming pace. As I looked down at my petite and loving great-grandmother, I could see where her curls were set in perfect white ringlets on top of her scalp. I saw the individual strokes of pencil where her eyebrows were meant to be and where the eye-liner had strayed dangerously far from her eyelid. Then she spoke to me with more authority than twenty professors.

“I was pregnant with your grandfather by the time I was 18.”

I’ll never forget those words. She didn’t say it out of nostalgia or shock or even as a tale of caution. She said it plainly, as a statement—or even as a challenge that I had not met. The words

shocked me, to say the least, and as she slowly walked away I could almost catch her looking to my empty womb and barren left-ring finger in simultaneous confusion and disappointment.

This only seems strange if you don’t know my family’s history of settling down early in life. After my great-grandparents married barely out of puberty, my grandparents were engaged by the time they were 19. Even my parents had met one another in college and were dating for many years before they were married at 25 years ikd. It’s a ridiculous and unintentional legacy to be a part of, a legacy one could only assume would die out in these modern times.

But no. The Keller tradition lives on in even

the most recent generations. I find myself on the defense when I travel home for holidays, feeling inadequate without a ‘plus one’ to bring to the holiday festivities. My cousins’ girlfriends have become a staple at the family dinner table. They’re lovely girls, really, and they blend in well sitting next to my grandmothers—talking over cranberry sauce about modern family life and generally hav-ing it all. They nibble conservatively as they discuss their life goals, which include, but are not limited to, curing leukemia with their biochemistry degree while simultaneously providing my cousin with a large and loving family. They’re swirling cookies in their herbal tea with one hand as they’re propogat-ing the family name with the other.

I’m in awe of them. It takes a confident woman to fill shoes that big. I can barely form a sentence to explain to my aunts and uncles that the lovely necklace I’m wearing wasn’t a gift from someone special—I bought it for myself at Claire’s.

But if there’s anything that three-and-a-half years of college has taught me it’s this: Never let a pushy old lady tell you when and when not to be married or pregnant (even if she’s the source of your life-blood), and always have a decoy in times of distress. Recent years have shown me that these wonderful women do more than provide love and comfort to my cousins and my family’s peace-of-mind. The girlfriends provide a buffer.

I am no longer plagued with the uncomfort-able confrontations that apparently occur with the older generations of my family. They field questions about table manners and quantum physics while I help myself to seconds on apple pie. They are perfect candidates for my replace-ment. I’ll gladly take the romantic hit while they’re worrying about public school systems in whatever county they get their first crappy office job. I’ll be in the condo next to them, ready to baby-sit. Because that’s what family is for.

And the system seems to have worked so far. With the help of higher education and a keen sense of avoidance, I feel like the Keller tradition is safe with them. I haven’t had an uncomfort-able confrontation with my Nana in a few years, although I do see her from time to time making a pass at my belly. Although there may not be a way to get her off my back for good, at least she knows far less about my sex life than she used to. And that is something we can all be thankful for.

TRUE LOVE WAYSSaying no to Nana and reconciling family traditions in the 21st century

“I was pregnant with your grandfather by the time I was 18.”

ALLIE KELLER

Page 4: The Weekly 01/07

4 the weekly 01.07.10

Approximately 30 students, includ-ing myself and an accomplice, are parked on the bleachers of Welsh-

Ryan Arena watching the Wildcats take on (and later demolish) North Carolina A&T during the opening days of Winter Break. Turnout is understandably low. Cancelled flights and work obligations aside, every-one has gone home. The majority of the student body is pillaging the well-stocked refrigerators at home; purring under Mom’s warm affection and calling those once-upon-a-friends to muse about the highly-mature land of college. Those still lingering in Evanston are nursing the wounds from finals and wishing they were more body-conscious (then, at least they’d have a method of avoiding overweight baggage charges). Purple Pride is taking a well-deserved break.

It’s a stark contrast from the outcry when a Northwestern cheerleader, Krissy Cox, was publicly ridiculed for allegedly saying less-than-sunny things about NU’s athletic programs in an ESPN magazine article entitled “6 Things You should Know About Cheering for a Losing Team.” The slice-and-dice method used to create the list-style story removes the context, which makes Cox’s comments unflatter-ing. “Since Northwestern isn’t known for sports, we do worry sometimes that our squad might get dissolved. Some big schools have already cut cheerlead-ing.” But some parts of her interview are genuine, insightful and more tactile than cookie-cutter answers. “NU is competitive academically, and that environment can amplify the stigma attached to the intel-ligence of cheerleaders,” she says. Cox also talks about injuries suffered from bad stunting falls, and how grass is the best stage. Pretty innocuous stuff, if you read the whole interview through.

But the article couldn’t have had a more unfortunate timing: Only days before, Facebook exploded after the football team was picked over Wisconsin in the bowl pecking order to attend a coveted New Years’ Day bowl game in Tampa, Fla. the Outback Bowl. Flights were booked at holiday price premiums, and students made plans for intoxication and over-stuffed hotel rooms. The razor-close game that granted the Cats far more than nine lives was regarded as some of the best ball NU has ever played, though they lost in overtime.

The days following ESPN’s release of the article caused a circus of reaction. Luke Liu, a sophomore, and Ryan Parks, another sophomore, created the Facebook group “Petition to get Krissy Cox kicked off the cheerleading team,” which was later re-humanized and re-titled to “NU students who disagree with Krissy Cox’s decision.” Someone reported the group, and it was taken down the next day. In the blogosphere, grown men called the girl a “dumb sl--” and patted themselves on the back for sending her Facebook messages asking “What were you thinking?” Some-how NU students and fans had reached a

new level of tactlessness usually reserved for elitist key-jangling.

No one would deny that NU’s two major teams have found success despite recent adversity: After the tragic death of coach Randy Walker in 2006, the football team under coach Pat Fitzgerald has contin-ued to shine without looking back. Even without its top player, Kevin Coble, the basketball team had to pick up the slack, and has so far been successful, carrying a 10-3 record. The team finally broke the As-sociate Press’ Top 25 poll, giving them the shiny title of a “ranked team.”

But NU fans haven’t made similar strides. Despite rampant absenteeism at non-football contests, students were quick to damn Cox without access to the article itself. ESPN doesn’t publish all of its magazine content online, and for unknown reasons, no copies could be found at CVS, Barnes & Noble or Main Street News. One-line quotes sandwiched together with

heavy editori-alization dissemi-nated on listservs, Facebook and message boards. “At Northwestern being dumb, ignorant, blonde and plain means Krissy’s out of place,” wrote one angry commentator on the blog “Black Heart Gold Pants.” One NU student posted the follow-ing to his public Twitter account: “F--- ESPN the Magazine. F--- “Krissy Cox.” Both can suck a d---. And that sloot should be punched in the face immedi-ately.” While eating dinner with a friend of mine, he said, “Did you hear that some cheerleader was trashing Northwestern in ESPN?” Had he read the article, I asked while paying for my fetus-sized burrito? No. Of course not.

Carrie (name has been changed) used to cheer for NU, and still keeps in touch with current squad members. She’s not blaming Cox who she says “genuinely would do so much for Northwestern,” or even the writer who may have chopped the interview irresponsibly. She still has a bad taste in her mouth from cheering to vacant bleachers for two years, and thinks NU students are the ones in the wrong. “It’s demoralizing to cheer to empty stands,” she says. “Cheering women’s basketball games was the worst experience of my life. It’s so awkward.There is no one there.”

The athletic department released an

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e-mail transcript of the interview with Cox, though the phone calls made between author Jake Zucker and Cox were never mentioned, ESPN spokespeople noted. NU quickly turned, blaming ESPN and pitying Cox as a poor girl taken of advan-tage of by the media, and now she isn’t talking. The athletic department must approve all interviews, and they’re wary about re-opening this media wound. All of the “spirit” team is banned-- Willie the Wildcat, cheerleaders. Cox will have no chance to clear her name though her coach Pam Bonnevier goaded her into the spotlight in the first place, the spokes-people also noted. NU is also “staying out of this one,” says Mike Wolf, assistant director of athletic communications. After Cox received direct threats and insults, the PR game is about making sure she’s safe. “Our primary concern is being supportive of Krissy and making sure her well-being is being taken care of,” Wolf says. Carrie

wishes the department would issue an of-ficial statement in support of Krissy. Right now her only protectors are her friends and teammates who have deleted nasty postings from her Facebook wall and let her know that they’re on her side. Cox is okay, Carrie says, but still dealing with the repercussions. “It’s hard to be accused of having no school spirit when you’ve been a cheerleader for four years,” Carrie says acidly. “The thing that really pisses me off about this is that the people saying (insulting things about Cox) don’t support the teams. I want to go up to them and say, ‘How many games have you been to this year?’”

ESPN, possibly in an attempt to save floundering subscriptions, or just to dis-miss ethical questions, is talking. NU has a tortured relationship with sports media. Many NU diehards feel that NU receives far less close-ups and feel-good stories of triumph than other similar teams. At the

Alamo Bowl last year, some students com-plained that Missouri quarterback Chase Daniel was intensely profiled whereas CJ Bachér was snubbed. Even after the announcement that Carmody’s team had cracked the top 25, the Chicago Sun-Times ran the headline “Hard as it is to believe,

NU a real player in college sports.” Colum-nist Rick Morrissey wrote, “NU never will be a sports factory, thank goodness, but it doesn’t have to be a think-tank for theo-retical athletics, either.” Ouch.

How did Cox and NU even get roped into this whole ESPN story? The magazine asked its college football and basketball staffs for teams that have had ups and downs, but also ones that weren’t no-name, crappy programs. NU fit the bill. As Gary Belsky, editor-in-chief of the magazine put it: “I didn’t want an obscure school with sucky teams.” Belsky is tak-ing personal calls and e-mails about the Cox article, something that took him by surprise. It’s not surprising that people are mad— it’s surprising that most of his call-ers haven’t read the article. “I keep asking them, ‘What specifically about the article upset you?’ and they never respond,” he says.

Parks and Liu jumped the gun on their own headline, and chose not to respond when asked if seeing the transcript changed their minds about Cox. “Her comments embarrassed our school on a national level and completely marginal-izes all the progress our teams have made,”

Liu said in a Facebook message. He went so far as to say that she never should have given the interview in the first place.

However, NU’s records in football and basketball haven’t been exactly stellar, though it was before Parks and Liu’s time. Football went 4-8 in 2006, and 6-6 in

2007. Carmody’s squad went 13-18 and 8-22. Not awful, but not phenomenal. The spotty records followed by success have made NU fans kings of overreaction, wor-ried someone is giving their team any less than what it deserves. The Big Ten isn’t ex-actly a favorite conference, either. Though it’s a recruiting tool, its teams tend to have poor bowl game results and are trampled by the Pac 10 or SEC, though Ohio State was victorious in this year’s Rose Bowl. Key-jangling aside, fans tend to toss around the argument that recruitment is harder on schools with more rigorous academic criteria. NU, no doubt, works magic on some applicants, but not to the degree of other state schools. “(NU fans) are hypersensitive because of that,” says Belsky. “The thing is that NU is certainly rollercoasterish in it’s record... It’s a brain school, and people who like to pick on col-lege football like to pick on brain schools.”

It turns out the incriminating stuff isn’t in the article itself—Cox navigates the questions with ease and talks about the actual issue of pumping up unenthused or sometimes empty stands. “She’s not negative. She says nothing that is remotely school-bashing,” Belsky says. Cox’s coach

and NU’s athletic department were told the exact nature of the article: what it’s like to cheer for a team when it’s los-ing. Note the subtle difference from the printed headline. That’s what has Wildcats’ fur standing on end. “We were up front from the beginning,” Belsky says, noting

that Cox’s coach agreed exciting the crowd when the team is tanking is something she has to deal with. Clearly they went for the sexier headline, sacrificing intention and infuriating hundreds of students already stressed by finals. Even Belsky admits it was more controversial than it needed to be, though he swears that wasn’t the intention. “In hindsight I’m not sure if we should have changed it,” he says, “though there won’t be an apology (or a lawsuit) since I don’t think we did anything wrong (. . .) People just get brave when they’re online and take out their frustrations.”

No one walks out of this battle com-pletely unscathed. Maybe ESPN should have gone with the kinder headline. Maybe the athletic department should have been more critical of the interview request. Maybe Cox should have turned it down. In any case that NU is the one school with often empty stands and a Purple Pride that only comes out during the late-night hours on a laptop. As Carrie puts it, “It’s not about cheering for a losing team. It’s about cheering for a school with no spirit.”

the weekly 5 01.07.10

the

case

of

by sara peck

In the blogosphere, grown men called the girl a ‘dumb sl--’ and patted themselves on the back for sending her

Facebook messages asking ‘what were you thinking?’ Somehow, NU students and fans had reached a new level of

tactlessness usually reserved for elitist key-jangling.

NorthwesterN sports

over the decade

Football

1999: 3-82000: 8-4 (lost in Alamo Bowl)2001: 4-72002: 3-92003: 6-7 (lost in Motor City Bowl)2004: 6-62005: 7-5 (lost in Sun Bowl)2006: 4-82007: 6-62008: 9-4 (lost in Alamo Bowl)2009: 8-5 (lost in Outback Bowl)

basketball

1999: 5-252000: 11-192001: 16-132002: 12-172003: 14-152004: 15-162005: 14-152006: 13-182007: 8-222008: 17-14 (lost in first round of NIT)2009: 10-3*

*at time of publication

‘It’s hard to be accused of having no school spirit when you’ve been a cheerleader for four years,’ Carrie says acidly. ‘The thing that really pisses me off about this is that the people say-ing (insulting things about Cox) don’t support the teams. I want to go up to them and say, “how many games have you been to this year?”’

Page 5: The Weekly 01/07

this weekend in musicJAN. 8 - 10, 2010

FRIDAY

@ P I C K - S TA I G E R

BIENEN SCHOOL OF MUSIC N O R T H WE S T E R N U N I VE R S I T YTICKETS: 847.467.4000 OR WWW.PICKSTAIGER.ORG

08A08AY08YAYA08AYA

Winter Chamber Music FestivalPick-Staiger, 7:30 p.m.$22/20/10

Evanston Chamber Ensemble Andrea Swan, piano Blair Milton, violin Stephen Balderston, celloLawrence Neuman, violaCamille Churchfield, fluteJ. Lawrie Bloom, clarinetLewis Kirk and Christopher Millard, bassoonBarbara Butler and Charles Geyer, trumpetRandy Hawes and Michael Mulcahy, trombone

Gabrieli, La Spiritata, Sonata Pian' e Forte, and Canzona Noni ToniStravinsky, Octet for Wind InstrumentsCrusell, Clarinet Quartet No. 3 in D Major, Op. 7Schubert, Trio No. 2 in E-flat Major, Op. 100

Lynn Harrell

09 10SATURDAY SUNDAY

Kids Fare: Powerful Pipes at Alice Millar ChapelAlice Millar Chapel, 10:30 a.m.$6/5/4

Featuring the magnificent pipes of the Alice Millar Chapel organ and choir.

Schubertiade: Kurt R. Hansen, tenor and Karina Kontorovitch, pianoLutkin Hall, 7:30 p.m.$9/7/5

Ruth Lin, piano

Franz Schubert, Fantasia in F Minor for Piano, Four Hands and Die schöne Müllerin

Winter Chamber Music Festival: Lynn Harrell, celloPick-Staiger, 7:30 p.m.$30/26/14

Lynn Harrell, celloRobert Chen and Blair Milton, violinRoger Chase and Yukiko Ogura, violaStephen Balderston, celloBrahms, String Quintet No. 2 in G Major, Op. 111, and String Sextet No. 1 in B-flat Major, Op. 18

Lynn Harrell Master ClassPick-Staiger Rehearsal Room, 10:30 a.m.Free

Renowned cellist Lynn Harrell coaches talented Bienen School cello students.

I was privy to the Outback Bowl’s wacky dénouement only because of Facebook. And I didn’t have a clue what was going on, only

that there was some seriously hot action near the end—I’ve never seen so many exclamation points

in confl icting consecutive status updates. HUZ-ZAH!!!!!!!!; NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; KAFKA=CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!; etc.

Notwithstanding the status-oscillations-as-play-by-play’s coherence (i.e. lack thereof), the postgame

anthem was a familiar one: that good-ol’ NU-brand satire n’ smarm.

Put another way, we resorted to the comfort of our collective intellect. Which is customary, I guess, for an institution that fi elds perennial base-ment dwellers in the major-market sports—an institution which measures its postseason football drought not in years but in decades (6.1, thank you very much). There’s a tendency to deploy traditional hierarchies (academics > athletics) as a sort of ultimate bargaining chip, to toss around the U.S. News and World Report college rankings in polite conversation as a formidable and univer-sal counterattack (e.g. Take that, Norfolk State!)

The satire n’ smarm seems to be a more oblique derivative, but it’s perfectly in keeping with the Facebook venue’s stock in trade: “Who me?” vanity, tawdry exhibitionism and school pride.

Oddly enough, coach Pat Fitzgerald’s ballsy fi nal play call—a simplistic descendant of the “Fumble-rooskie,” which Fitz claims to have been keeping in his back pocket for years—demonstrates the un-canny resemblance between NU’s on-fi eld tactical brigade and NU’s student body, i.e. the mysteriously hard-wired preference to value brains over brawn.

On the gridiron, that doesn’t fl y. Let’s agree the sport of American football ex-

ists as a compelling and thinly veiled substitute for armed confl ict. Have a look at the excessive padding! The legendary college rivalries are quite literally battle. The artillery assembled isn’t nuclear or fi nancial. It’s emotional and muscular.

As such neither brains nor brawn enjoy a signifi -cant advantage in football until they are favorably enmeshed. Strategic dominance on defense is for naught without a burly coalition of linebackers to execute. The best arm in the lower 48 would be put to absolute waste without measured and occasion-ally inventive play calling.

Except coach Fitz wasn’t counting on the piss-poor execution of his surprise attack. (Precisely zero of the Auburn defenders bought safety Dan Persa’s decoy run to the left.) But it’s not like this hidden gem was the Annexation of Puerto Rico or something. It appeared to be a pretty standard fake fi eld goal attempt—a direct snap to Persa which was pitched through the legs of speedy wide receiver Zeke Markshausen.

But Fitz has been trumpeting his play call as Exhibit A in his rebuttal against critics who call him too conservative. Furthermore he’s been quoted say-ing he’d do it again. “Next time I’d score though,” he said. “And we’d be celebrating.”

That’s ironic only because poor Fitz wouldn’t be the one scoring. Also, doesn’t the very act of promis-ing to repeat his mistake eliminate the element of surprise crucial to the play’s success? Or does Fitz relish the idea of being cast as a timid chancellor of the sideline who indulges in outlandish risks with shocking imprudence?

I doubt it. Fitz made a gutsy move and the Wildcats fought hard. Since his selection as coach in 2006 (despite the continual postseason woes which, let’s face it, are nothing new) he’s given the student body a reason to cheer, a reason to hope, a reason—simply put—to watch. And then also a reason to post their feelings within the matrix of social media for massive consumption and intellectual discourse.

THE ATHLETIC SUPPORTER

SAM ALLARD

ABOUT TOWN

JONO SIMRIN

Vol. I: Brains, Brawn and Facebook Big laughs at the Chicago Sketch Comedy Festival

6 the weekly 01.07.10

Holiday shopping and family dinners may be a thing of Christmas past, but for Brian Posen, it’s still a very busy time of year. But even with all the banners to hang, Sam Adams deliveries to unload, cables to move and 50 staff members to organize, Posen could not be more excited about this year’s Chicago Sketch Comedy Festival. “It’s cheap! It’s funny! The atmosphere is so cool. There’s just so much comedy under one roof. It’s simply awesome.”

Posen, the executive producer of the fes-tival, has reason to be so enthused. Once the festival kicks off Jan. 7, some 100 sketch com-edy groups will take over the Theater Build-ing Chicago (1225 W. Belmont) for eight days of hilarious antics and performances. “Every hour on the hour you can see so many styles of sketch comedy,” Posen said.

And Posen’s no neophyte when it comes to Chicago’s comedy scene. A North Shore native from Glencoe, Posen holds an MFA and has studied acting at Columbia College, the University of Illinois at Chicago and the Second City. Although Posen was entertain-ing the idea of business or law school at one point, he has fully immersed himself in Chi-cago comedy, working as an actor, producer and teacher since the early 1990s.

The idea for the festival, commonly re-ferred to simply as Sketchfest, came to Posen as a way to make the best of a less-than-ideal situation. He had rented the Theater Build-ing for an original musical production he was producing in 2001, but had to end pro-duction due to budget problems. With the performance space at the Theater Building already paid for, Posen turned to Chicago’s sketch comedy community to organize a performance. “I thought, what if I could get these groups together for a full week run? Maybe I’ll even break even.”

Thirty-three groups from Chicago’s heralded sketch comedy scene signed on for a performance slated for January 2002. Posen decided to build upon Sketchfest’s success that year and began touring the country to study like-minded festivals. “I went to Boston, Seattle and watched how these other festivals operated.” It was during this time that Posen developed his vision for Sketchfests to come. “I have a very strong idea of what theater should be. It’s collabo-ration. It’s celebrating and sharing a story with the audience.”

Ever since, Sketchfest has continued to grow. Comedy groups from as far away as Manchester, England have fl own to Chicago for the annual event. Famed comedian Har-old Ramis, Saturday Night Live writers and the cast of Reno 911 have led workshops and offered feedback to fl edgling sketch comedy groups. The festival now attracts a host of comedy groups, covering every niche from Hispanic troupes to aspiring comedians still in middle school. “Each group has its own way of seeing the world, and that’s what re-ally makes great comedy,” said Posen.

The Chicago Sketch Comedy Festival runs from Jan. 7-17. For more information, please visit chicagosketchfest.com.

PHOTO COURTESY OF GUY F. WICKE

Page 6: The Weekly 01/07

The Weekly: You play a lot of intramural sports and are just an all around athlete.

Andy Bank: I was fortunate to play sports in high school, and I wasn’t good enough to make it at the next level. Intramural sports of-fers a great opportunity to keep competing and stay active with friends, so it’s been great.

TW: Did you ever try out for varsity sports?AB: On college visits I spoke to coaches

and quickly learned that my pitching arm and batting average wasn’t good enough to cut it in Division I or Division III, so I tried out for the club team freshman year and made it. It’s been a great four years. I’ve been able to extend my playing career through college, and it seems like this season will be the finale for me.

TW: So do you only play baseball?AB: For club sports, just baseball. But

for intramural sports just about all of them—football, dodgeball, basketball, hockey and softball are my favorites. We’ve been pretty successful. We’ve won dodgeball for four years in a row, and football once and softball for one year. We’re trying to get a hockey one this year. I think we have a chance.

TW: I guess you’re playing more than one sport each season. Is there ever a time issue?

AB: Well I’d much rather be playing sports in Patten Gym or on (Floyd) Long Field than be in the library. It’s all voluntary and it’s just a group of friends that I’ve had since freshman year that have been able to stay on the same team for four years. We’re the Fighting Quak-ers, which is our little intramural franchise.

TW: So you’ve been playing since fresh-man year then?

AB: Intramural sports? Yes. For co-rec dodgeball we’ve won all four years. I think I’ll leave Northwestern with that as my crowning achievement.

TW: I heard you made a few girls cry once in dodgeball.

AB: Yes.TW: What happened?AB: It was freshman year, and it was just

this past year, senior year. Both were to end the game. I remember freshman year it was the last out of the championship game and it was really unfortunate. I felt badly. I’m not proud of that, I don’t know how you heard that, but unfortunately that’s true. It’s okay, I think they were fine. They got up quickly and we shook hands after the game and there was no hard feelings. Everybody gets hit in the head. No one aims for the head, but it happens.

TW: You went to the Outback Bowl. Did being at the Outback Bowl make you regret not ever trying out for a varsity sport?

AB: Do I wish I had tried out? I had a few teammates from high school who went on to play Division III, and sometimes I wonder how different my college experi-ence would have been had I gone to a school where I would have had a chance to play baseball. But I couldn’t be happier with my four years here at Northwestern, and I think pretending to be an athlete and keeping up the camaraderie of a baseball team with club sports has really proven to be some great experience for me.

For more information and TO REGISTER for all classes,call Dr. Schale at (312) 565-2246

Fee for each 8-week NON-CREDIT CLASS is $595 (*Specific class locations on the Evanston and Chicago Northwestern campuses will be announced)

EVANSTON campus classes* are on THURSDAYS (6:30-9:00pm) 8 Thursdays January 14 - March 4

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CHICAGO campus classes* EDNESDAYS (6:30-9:00pm) 8 Wednesdays January 13 - March 3

8 Wednesdays April 7 - May 26

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MAN ON THE BEATANDY BANK, Intramural Sports Demigod

Photo BY JuStIN BArBIN

SArAh freIShAt

the weekly 7 01.07.10

FASHION BREAKDOWNBeach chic at the outback Bowl

Alyssa Wells (’10): Whoa. Daisy Duke called. She wants her shorts back. And shouldn’t he have a mullet to rock these? And a handlebar mustache? I could go on…

Sara Schmidt (’10): Who wears short shorts? Right on with the denim look, but never forget it’s all about pro-portions. Some things aren’t meant to be bared.

Nicole Tilley (’11): At least the cut-offs are dark wash?

Wells: Oh no! Crocs! Cute on ONLY babies and tod-dlers in colors like pink, purple, sparkles and Disney prin-cesses. I think his hat is great though.

Schmidt: What’s not to love? Okay, maybe the crocs, but the hat is awesome. I get the feeling all dads have one stashed away somewhere for beautiful beach days like this.

Tilley: While I’m not that much of a fan of Crocs, I like the combination of well fitted cargo shorts and the slightly distressed straw hat. They add a nice touch of beachiness to the game shirt and class ring.

Wells: Enjoy ladies. We won’t be seeing shorts and tank tops until AT LEAST July.

Schmidt: Anyone who knows me knows I’m all about the absence of color so I’m liking the dark outfit. But I’ll admit the light tank top is great for for spring. Wish it wasn’t so far off!

Tilley: This is a pretty standard example of American beach wear. The small beading detail around the neck of the tank on the right adds a bit of uniqueness to a basic top. The girl on the left has done a good job of playing with dark tones to create a more natural look.

PhotoS BY ChrIStINe toDD

Page 7: The Weekly 01/07

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Seven days into the new year, the fresh decade is already losing its charm. Those week-old resolutions are starting to face reality, 2010 feels suspiciously like 2009 and the Wildcats are still losing bowl games. As hangovers subside and classes begin, the cold, dull blandness of Winter Quarter looms intimidatingly. How shall we be entertained?

To borrow the words of every sports anchor who has broadcasted a Wildcats basketball game in Evanston, “temperatures are freezing out on North-western’s lakefront campus, but here in Welsh-Ryan arena, things are heating up!” This rise of NU’s bas-ketball program from laughable to adequate has been overshadowed by the simultaneous ascendency of the football program from lousy to great, but after its first NIT tournament appearance in 10 years and first Associated Press Top 25 Poll ranking in four decades, the men’s basketball team may finally become the highlight of Winter Quarter.

This year’s squad must be getting tired of having their success qualified by the loss of their most talented player, senior Kevin Coble, to injury before the season began. Coble led the team in points and rebounds all three of his previous years on the team, but never led them to a 10-1 season-opening record. In his absence, sophomore John Shurna has claimed the role as the team’s leading scorer, already capturing two Big Ten Player of the Week awards. Guard Michael “Juice” Thompson averages 38 minutes a game and has matured along with senior Jeremy Nash to lead a still young squad without its star. The result is a likeable and exciting team of underdogs that wins games by moving the ball and working hard on defense.

While it remains as far from campus as Ryan Field, Welsh-Ryan Arena is the superior sports stadium of the two. Unlike its football counterpart, with seating capac-ity for roughly 8,000, Welsh-Ryan routinely attracts sell-out crowds. True to NU-style, many of these are from opposing schools, but the seating at the venue crams these misguided fans high into the darkened rafters to be heard, but not seen. The lights are reserved for courtside, where a ring of purple-clad fans is increas-ingly filling the seats.

Basketball student sections are secretly the most fun of college athletics. Instead of drunk students bundled tightly and screaming jeers at an opponent 100 yards away on an early, frigid autumn morning, Welsh-Ryan invites these fans into a warm arena where purple “MAKE SHOTS” T-shirts are as comfortable as they are fashionable and athletes are within earshot. Last weekend, Michigan State’s Raymar Morgan smiled at the free-throw line after listening to my frank appraisal of his talents from the stands. Students complain about how NU doesn’t provide sports fans with authentic college atmospheres, but the electricity of a sold-out NU basketball game is finally giving NU students more value for their tuition, making a trip to Welsh-Ryan the hottest thing to do this Winter Quarter.

WHY WE LIKE

In the late 19th century tobacco com-panies devised a new way to market cigarettes to American consumers. In

each pack of cigarettes, they placed cards depicting Major League baseball players, until eventually, by 1909, whole sets were issued. Now as much a nostalgic aspect of the American Pastime as the game itself, it’s difficult to remember that collecting baseball cards began not as a young man’s hobby, but as a marketing ploy. Baseball cards, like the athletes they represent, are a business disguised as sentimentality. But unlike col-lecting cards, there’s no hiding the power of economics in sports.

It’s not that sports weren’t always a business. They were. Money, in the form of gambling, player salaries, ticket sales and media sales, have forever laid at the core of American professional athletics. But for more than a century, fans did their best to ignore this reality in favor of celebrating legendary accomplishments on the field. Home run totals, rushing yards and championships were numbers fans followed, not salaries, shoe deals and performance-enhancing drug use. Sports have always been America’s escape, but in the 2000s, one fact became inescap-able: Sports are a glorified business.

The Decade of the Expiring Contract

Trading talented players to save money has been a part of sports since the Red Sox sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees some 90 years ago. But in the 2000s the NBA took this practice to an entirely new level. Teams consistently sent their best players packing in exchange for role players with expiring con-tracts to save money. Not only has this trend damaged the competitiveness of the league, but today the most promising pieces on an NBA roster are Lebron James, Kobe Bryant and salary space.

The Decade Baseball Became Moneyball

For all the talk about steroid use this decade, it wasn’t a chemical but a book—Moneyball, written by Michael Lewis in 2003—that will have the most lasting affect on baseball. Lewis followed the Oakland Athletics management for a full season and introduced the public and—pathetic as it may be—some baseball executives to a new way of evaluating talent. Of course the Moneyball method favors management strategy that resembles corporate America more closely than conventional baseball wisdom.

The Decade Lacking LoyaltyPerhaps fans can overlook it when teams

dump all-star veteran players, who sacrifice their body for years, only to be released in favor of cheaper players so teams can avoid paying the veteran’s minimum salary. But fans can’t ignore their favorite franchise turning their back on them. In 2000 the Detroit Lions begged its surrounding resi-dents to devote half a billion tax dollars to a spiffy new stadium. Now that Detroit has fallen on harder times, these same residents can’t even watch their football team. Tickets are unaffordable, so the Lions don’t fill their stadium and, as per league rules, cannot televise games played at their deserted home field.

In a decade where leagues acted like corporations and players like “brands,” it’s more difficult than ever for fans to remain loyal to teams and leagues that show no signs of reciprocating that sentiment. But perhaps the worst symbol of business’ unavoidable influence over sports came in the one area that appeared safe from its affect for so many years. In 2007 the Honus Wagner tobacco card issued in 1910 was sold in an auction. It netted $2.8 million.

8 the weekly 01.07.10

u I had a tape called ‘Tubby the Tuba,’ and I just started playing the tuba, and that was my first instrument. I was eight. I played the tuba to the point where I got too good at it, and then I guess I got into folk music because I wanted to impress my parents. My parents are really impressed by folk music. u The Peaches I started when I was 12

with my babysitter. I’ve never really been in another band. We’d go down to the base-

ment. I had guitars and stuff set up, so we just started writing songs, it just came really naturally to us, and then we started accruing all these recordings, like stockpiling them. It’s just a home-recorded album that’s in my parents’ house. u Well the first concert we ever played

we just took some amps to this carnival that was in town and just set up the amps. Not that we were invited or anything to it. Some people maybe stopped and watched. Then I think the first real show we played with the band was at our house, when we lived in Washington State. We had a show at our house to pay the power bill. It was our first real thing. Everyone we knew from our neighborhood came over and it was a party.u In some ways I was kind of miserable

during some of that [touring with the Moldy Peaches]. I wanted to make a record with strings and like start crooning. I was listening a lot to Frank Sinatra albums and the Doors and Elvis, and I wasn’t relating to what we were doing so much. But that was just after a year, and I was fed up with it and I quit the

band.u Out of interest for survival, I welcome

anyone to come to my concerts, except for some people I hate.u There was this period where I had a

huge hit with “Emily” in Germany, and I was on the cover of German Rolling Stone and I was just on TV all the time, and I couldn’t even go outside by myself. And I had the whole experience of being a superstar some-where, and it was interesting, but nothing really lasts. u I remember one time we were play-

ing a Moldy Peaches concert at the Mercury Lounge, and there was about a few hundred people there, and I was looking into the crowd and realized I didn’t know any of the faces. I realized that we had become the kind of band that plays to more than just our friends.

Adam Green will be supporting The Cribs at Lincoln Hall on January 13th as part of the Tomorrow Never Knows 2010.

SCOTT OLSTAD

Northwestern BasketballALMOST FAMOUSby Adam Green of the Moldy Peaches

THE BROWReviewing the economics of professional sports: 2000-09

AS TOLD TO SARAh SPieLBeRGeR

ADAM FUSFeLD

PhOTO COURTeSy OF COBRACAMANDA PUBLiCTy