the wrangler, no. 26
DESCRIPTION
The satire newspaper by students of Brophy College Preparatory in Phoenix, AZ, USA.TRANSCRIPT
Looking backward
Real . Comfortable . News.
The Wrangler May 2013 Edition Roman Numeral Twenty-Six
News in Briefs
Confusion erupts as
Kim Jong-un attempts
to enlist in Red Army
Prom theme over-
played; many lose
hearts, brains, courage
and rides home
Students amazed by
Tupac hologram per-
formance at Brochella
Phoenix Zoo to ramp-
up security after hear-
ing reports of possible
Bring Your Pet to Piper
Day
Seniors of the Class of
2014 to gain an addi-
tional week of school.
Members cite the need
to be trendy
Printed on recycled Roundups
#trainharderthan13
Timeline By Jeff Bennett ’13
Photo Illustrations By Steven Soto ’13, Mark Nageotte ’13, and Alexander Khan ’13
Boy, Have We Changed!
Cartoon By Ryan Theisen ’13
After months of shenani-
gry, Seniors are stepping
up their game and are
preparing for an epic
prank that should live on
in Brophy history. The
senior prank, which is
run through the prestig-
ious ‘Prank Committee’,
is a time-honored tradi-
tion. The Prank Commit-
tee’s recommendations,
which are of course sub-
ject to approval from
Dean Higgins, have just
been released to the sen-
iors.
Faculty members are al-
lowed to suggest pranks
to the Committee as
well. These suggested
pranks are supposed to
remain anonymous,
though they usually are
fairly obvious. For exam-
ple, one of the pranks
which is assumed to be
from Dean Higgins is
simply “Pick up trash
around campus.”
Seniors are allowed to
vote on pranks, and the
results have been as-
tounding. One of the
leading pranks is to re-
lease a gator on Xavier
campus with 109 votes.
Most students also voted
to sustain ‘Frat Day’ for
the rest of the year.
Other pranks suggested
are to cement Brophy
golf carts to the ground
in the Octogan (71
votes), pile all senior tab-
lets into the Mums foun-
tain (64 votes), and to
draw “I love doody” all
over campus (unanimous
311 votes).
Brophy’s secret society
system has also been
abuzz recently with talks
of pranks. The Black Key
Society annually kidnaps
one freshman after the
school year has ended.
Most freshmen end up at
Saint Mary’s sophomore
year after being kid-
napped over the sum-
mer. Whatever the fu-
ture holds, I’m sure that
the Class of 2013 will not
disappoint.
Senior shenanigry Article By Austin Tymins ’13 and Steven Soto ’13
Editors
Austin Tymins ’13
Steven Soto ’13
Kyle Chalmers ’13
Jeff Bennett ’13
Alexander Khan ’13
Mark Nageotte ’13
Contributors
Ryan Theisen ’13
Moderators
Mr. John Damaso ’97
Mr. Steve Smith ’96
Special Thanks to Honorary
Wrangler Staff Member
Ms. Kucharski
Mission Statement: The Wrangler is satirical, k? All butts of jokes are willing. We have proof.
The Flip Side
Senior “Mosts”
Most... Likely to Take Mr. Reithmann's Job
Photogenic
Photos by Kyle Chalmers ’13
Likely to Actually Be In Charge of The Wrangler
Likely to have Worst Attendance
The Wrangler is seeking student writers and contributors. Interested? Email:
A.M.D.G.
The Wrangler © 2013
Flanders McHunkle - Carlos Sanchez - Chucky Dunkbuddy
Likely to Receive Candy and Money in a Few Seconds
Matt Partee - Mister Book - Thomas Reithmann VI
Depressed Chen Lee - Ned Grossberger - Puff Daddy (supplier of course)
Calvin Terrell - Yahweh - Mr. Kitty
Peter J. Smith - Zygbragaw Hublegumit - LaMichael DeJones
Sunless Nash - Warners Gone—Lonely Coyote