three miles west - issue five

THE WEST ALLOTMENT CELTIC MAGAZINE OCTOBER 2013 ISSUE FIVE £2 THREE MILES WEST

The New Stone AgeAfter a successful professional career, can Paul Stoneman emulate the success of his father at West Allotment?

When the Toon Came to ToonNewcastle United’s Reserves rock up at Backworth Welfare

Reid All About ItThe talented playmaker on his future in the game

WELCOME TO

THREE MILES WEST THE WEST ALLOTMENT CELTIC MAGAZINE

Welcome, one and all, to the groundhop; and to this, the fifth issue of Three Miles West. Come in, gather around and take a look at our wares. It’s not just scarves and badges (although it is mostly scarves and badges). We’ve got something a little extra to peruse, be it in the queue for a pie and hot beverage at half time, on the last train up to Inverness or that arduous journey south on the Megabus the following day (we know just how committed some of you are). Even at its worst, it features more talent than Cowell’s Saturday night ‘reality’ vehicle.

Inside, Paul Stoneman pores over his professional career and his time in the hotseat at Allotment, whilst Ryan Beal and Sean Reid drop in for a chat. If it’s history you’re after, we’ve got it in spades, with a wide lens view of 1963, the inauguration of the club in the late twenties, and the day Newcastle United Reserves rocked up at Backworth. Back in the present, ee have a handy recap for those who didn’t dare make the trips to Cumbria, consideration of Celtic’s arguable status as Division Two underdogs, and a smattering of satire here and there.

Do be sure to stop in again, and have a safe and pleasant journey home.

THE TEAMCraig Dobson EditorStephen Allott Contributor / ArchivistGraeme Jackson PhotographsJonny Thompson, Paul Mason, David Dodds Advertising

Have an Allotment story that you’d like to share? Or any interesting or useful snaps hidden away in the attic? Send your articles, photos or queries to [email protected].

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4 Gee! Ain’t it Funny...A look at the world and West Allotment in 1963

6 The Rise of West Allotment CelticThe establishment and fledgling success of the village’s only surviving football club

10 When the Toon Came to ToonNewcastle United Reserves’ famous visit to Backworth

12 From Tractor Boy to Allotment StewardRyan Beal on his time at Ipswich, his non-league travails, and the fight for the number one jersey

14 Reid All About ItThe rise and rise of playmaker Sean Reid

16 Under the RadarA look at Allotment’s strength in modesty

18 Coach Trip(s)Our less than successful expeditions across the Cheviots

20 The New Stone Age Reflection and projection from Paul Stoneman

24 Just Onside Hernias, dog diaries and heated competition

26 Top Five... ...of the most overshot photo ops

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4 THREE MILES WEST OCTOBER 2013

“It’s been a long, a long time comingBut I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will” Sam Cooke’s plaintive cry from the heart was based on his own real life experiences, not least an incident on 08 October 1963, but it was in perfect harmony with a world fretting restlessly that autumn. The brinkmanship of the Cuban Missile Crisis of twelve months earlier could still cause shivers across the globe and it remained a portentous time. The atomic age was here but it was still unclear whether or not that was a good thing. Certainly, it seemed a potentially dangerous resource as the Cold War slipped several more degrees below freezing point and the atlas needed to be redrawn on a weekly basis: Nigeria, Uganda and Zanzibar were just three states achieving independence that autumn. Meanwhile, the British government was providing a bit of light relief as it continued to trip over the trousers caught around its ankles. The Profumo Affair kept the public agog but it proved a fatal blow to an already tottering Macmillan adminstration and, after much Tory in-fighting, Sir Alec Douglas-Home emerged as the new Prime Minister on 19 October. He was not destined to be around for long; within a year he succumbed to Harold Wilson and Labour promises of a white-hot technological revolution. Ah, that change is surely gonna come. Meanwhile, the good folk of North Tyneside simply shrugged their collective

shoulders and got on with life. There was little they could do about violence in Kenya or an army coup in South Vietnam, and few could imagine the consequences of the latter, but most could see that change was needed on a local scale too. “Nothing to see or anywhere to go….this is a dead seaside resort”, so said a letter to the Whitley Bay Guardian. Another resident decried the “deplorable” condition of the paddling pool and sandpit at Whitley Bay – “it has the appearance of an allotment”. Yet it was a time of moving forward with the handbrake on, with progressives and regressives wrestling for the future. A group of financiers were keen for the local Council to grant planning permission for a “Brighton-style” pier at the bottom of the Esplanade in Whitley Bay, The structure had an estimated cost of £1.5 million but, not surprisingly, the Council refused to give the green light until they knew more about the financiers behind the scheme. This information was not forthcoming so the blueprints were rolled up, flung in the archives and Whitley Bay remained pierless, if not peerless. Still, there were distinct signs of fresh life around. The coast now had its first “Teen ‘n’ Twenty” night spot – Agogo’s Club on North Parade. The proprietor of the new centre, Michael Jeffery, was doing his best to attract the best bands to the area, stating that “I shall be engaging beat groups - for rock, in my view, is finished”. He wasn’t one for a bit of jazz either, calling it a “dead duck”. Membership of the club was one shilling and, in October

1963, Alan Price was appearing, just before he hit paydirt with The Animals. If the music wasn’t to your taste then perhaps “Hubbly Bubbly” would be; apparently enjoyed by “Beatles in the cave” according to the, in no way bandwagon-jumping, ad”. It was the “Top Pop Drink with the 1963 flavour” (atomic fizz perhaps?). West Allotment couldn’t quite trumpet a glitzy night club but a new Boys Club had opened in June and the football team was now competing in league competition. The line-up in an early win over Stobswood Welfare included: Gillespie; Lowery; Robson; Stewart; White; Falconer; Hewson; Guiney; Smith; Whinn (captain); Carr, Pattison and Warwick. Meanwhile, that dreaded “change” had already come to the senior team in Allotment and not in a good way. Four years of consecutive Northern Amateur League titles were receding rapidly into the distance and the club was entering a period of slow decline that could quite easily have seen the club fold, like so many others at the time. Even some local football leagues were suffering; the long-established Northern Alliance was down to a rump of eleven clubs and it had to survive a season of closure (1964/65) before beginning the slow rise back to full strength. Adding to the air of uncertainty, and contributing significantly to the loss of football clubs too, was the change in the economic basis of the area. The mining base of Allotment and the neighbouring villages was being eroded as individual pits became

GEE! AIN’T IT FUNNY...HISTORY

Stephen Allott looks at 1963 - a year of decline at the Farm Ground, within the community and on the international stage - but with occasional bright spots

Left: An advert for Whitley Bay’s popular Agogo Club

Above: The late JFK was infamously assassinated towards the year’s end

OCTOBER 2013 THREE MILES WEST 5

exhausted. Maud Pit in Backworth and the nearby Prosperous Pit had both been closed in December 1960 and although Algernon Pit in Allotment was still going, it had a limited lifespan. 645 men were employed at Algernon in 1963 but this declined to 333 by 1965 and, finally, zero when the pit closed in 1966. Indications of a new, less heavy, industrial future was revealed in the classified ads, with jobs in “The Killingworth Township” on offer. An Estates Officer post was available with a salary of £1,535 or you could be employed as an Assistant Quantity Surveyor at a rate of £1,360. New houses were springing up around the area too, with a new house on the Whitley Lodge Estate costing £5,680 while a flat on Preston Grange would set you back £2,750. To tootle between your new job and house, you could purchase a 1963 (year “A” in the original series of car registration prefixes) MG 1100 with “hydrolastic suspension” and a “transverse engine mounting”; a snip at £505 plus purchase tax of £105, fifteen shillings and five pence. Shocking new styles were creeping into football as well, with Alf Ramsey becoming increasingly riled at the criticism directed at his England team. “We score four times away from home, we stop the other people scoring at all. If that does not represent a good job of work please tell us what does!” A 4-0 over Wales was not enough for the press however, although to be fair, the Evening Chronicle correspondent was more circumspect, suggesting that “for better or worse, soccer is in the process of attaining a sophisticated maturity”. That “sophistication” effectively being a pressing game predicated

on counter-attacking. At a more local level, it is unknown whether or not Crook Town were displaying modernity; either way, their style was proving effective in the Northern League. The men from Milfield led the table and went on to win the FA Amateur Cup later that season, beating Enfield by the odd goal in three at Wembley. Cup heroes maybe but not league champions, for Stanley United pipped them to the Northern League title by a single point. Stanley United – another of those clubs long since lost. If Alf Ramsey was upsetting the football audience, the film “Mondo Cane” was doing the same to cinema-goers. “It rubs our noses in the dirt” yelped the Sunday Express while the Evening Standard called it “disgusting and debatably obscene”. Perhaps the reviewer hadn’t seen the pool and sandpit at Whitley Bay! The movie (the title translates as “It’s a Dog’s World”) was the original “shockumentary” and, despite causing the vapours in 1963, laid the path for the likes of Michael Moore to follow many years later. If all that “ripping the mask from the world” at the Essoldo was too much then there was always “Old Time and Modern” dance at the Tynemouth Plaza with Ron Dawkins and his orchestra. Also more rooted in the past, figuratively and literally, was the ever-popular leek-growing fraternity. Yet even there, the prizes for the champion growers were suggestive of a strange new world. Fred Parfitt won the Grey Horse show in Shiremoor for the second time in seven years. In 1956 he had won an easy chair but his latest prize was a fridge. The chap in second place earned

himself a cocktail cabinet, decanter and wine glasses whilst third prize was a man’s wardrobe. It can only be hoped that the lucky winners weren’t expected to carry their spoils home on the judging night. One thing that never changes is the presence of a local cracker and in the autumn of 1963, fifty-year old Robert Hogg took the biscuit. As part of a bet, Mr Hogg punched a hole in the window of the Backworth Hotel. He won the bet but had to give himself up to the police soon afterwards, literally red-handed with blood and requiring urgent medical treatment. His winnings from the dare were comfortably offset by the subsequent fine of £3 and costs of £1 ten shillings to replace the smashed glass. Leek-growing might have been safer and cheaper for Mr Hogg but, even there, there were reports of some growers protecting their specimens with electric fencing, so perhaps not. Contemporaneously, a different sort of “crime” was being committed in the USA. Thrown out of a Louisiana restaurant and arrested for a disturbance of the peace on 8th October 1963, Sam Cooke and some of his fellow musicians had made the simple, but potentially fatal, error of entering a “whites only” establishment. The ignominy drove Cooke to write the lyrics noted at the beginning of this piece. Words that would, ironically, only find wider appreciation and success after his own premature and mystery-shrouded death just over twelve months later. Yet, it was to be another violent death, just a matter of weeks after Cooke’s arrest, that was to provide a historical turning point of seismic proportions – the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. A change was indeed gonna come.

Backworth Colliery’s Maude Pit, closed on the 2nd of December, 1960, and soon followed by most of the site’s remaining pits


two key factors led to the decision to disband the west Allotment Primitive Methodist team and create an entirely new club. Firstly, the PMs were carrying various debts and the club officials showed that they had learnt from the harsh lessons handed out to their precursors. It made sense to wind up the existing club and to start up a new one with a clean slate. The alternative was to struggle on indefinitely with the likelihood of ever increasing debts. Secondly, the majority of the successful junior side were becoming too old to continue in that grade of football. Therefore, an amalgamation of the PMs and Juniors was agreed upon in the first half of 1928. Another issue was that the stipulations of playing for the PMs included compulsory attendance at the meeting of the “brotherhood” on Sunday afternoons. This was not a popular rule amongst those who had little enough free time away from work and made the creation of a club with no direct ties with the Church seem very attractive.

West Allotment Celtic began their history in very difficult times. The General Strike of 1926 was still fresh in the memory

of everyone and the coal trade was in disarray. Most of the mining communities were in a state of turmoil. In addition, the ever present danger for mine workers was tragically illustrated by two serious accidents within the space of five years at the Eccles Pit in Backworth. The first, in 1928, was a gas explosion which killed four men and injured a further seven. A second explosion, in April 1933, resulted in the deaths of three men. On the football front, many of the local leagues were very pessimistic about their chances of survival at the start of the 1928/29 season. Headlines in the local football press made depressing reading, “Bleak outlook in Ashington area” and “Clubs’ difficult struggle to carry on” were just two such headlines. Against such a turbulent backdrop, Celtic could not risk being over-ambitious too soon. Therefore, it was decided to float the new club in a sphere of football which was known to the players and officials. This explains why Celtic started their competitive life in the North Shields & District Churches League (NSDCL) and they continued to play in the competition until 1935. Celtic, still nicknamed the PMs, played their home games beside the Holystone public house on a pitch which was later swallowed up by the Tyne Tunnel approach road. The team used this location until 1938. Old stables attached to the pub were used as changing rooms. So, the club had a regular pitch at last, even if the ball did land perilously close to the railway line (now used by the Metro system) on occasions! The field containing the pitch possessed a pond and this was to become something of a tradition with West Allotment Celtic over the following decades. Holystone Rovers played on a pitch adjacent to that used by Celtic. The inevitable local rivalry was given extra spice by Mrs. Kelly, a local Councillor, who put up prize money for whichever of the two teams finished highest in the league. This resulted in each West Allotment player receiving a black and white tie at the close of one particular season. Celtic wore black and white striped shirts

with black shorts from those early days until relatively recently, although they did try out a claret and blue strip one year. The new club was strictly amateur with expenses the only payments made to players. Figure 3 highlights how strict the Football Association was in respect of this issue. The NFA was also keen to ensure that players were insured in the event of a football related accident. The NFA had its own Benevolent Fund and its yearbook enquired : “Mr.Secretary : Have you paid your subs of one guinea in order to cover ALL INJURED players ?” “Mr.Player : If your club cannot cover you, subscribe one shilling and be prepared and covered.” Insurance may have been a wise choice as the problems of violence noted in earlier years had still not been eradicated. The NFA even felt obliged to place a special note in its yearbook, as reproduced in Figure 4. It is interesting to note that a club was held responsible for the actions of its own supporters. Thankfully, there is no record of any players or followers of West Allotment Celtic having caused any significant problems. Whilst the fledgling Celtic team attempted to make its mark in the NSDCL, another club, with loftier ambitions, was established in the village. This team, West Allotment Athletic, played, without any great success, in the Whitley Bay & District League throughout season 1928/29. Then, the North East Combination League was inaugurated in 1929. It was open to all professional and amateur clubs within a given radius of Seaton Delaval. This new competition attracted the Athletic club, eager to revive encounters with some familiar rivals such as Shankhouse, Seaton Terrace and several sides from Cramlington. Athletic made an abysmal start to the 1929/30 season. West Cramlington thrashed them by nine clear goals on 5th October and worse was to follow one month later when Blyth Spartans Reserves annihilated the shell shocked team by thirteen goals to one, partially due to the fact that the

THE FORMATION

THE RISE OF WEST ALLOTMENT CELTIC

Another rival club gone, entire seasons lost in the wilderness, and the first of many play-off heartaches. Stephen Allott looks at the rising stock of West Allotment’s sole remaining team throughout the ninteen-thirties

Why the new club was named Celtic remains unclear. Discussions with those around at the

time only led to a confession that the reasons had long since been forgotten. The one certainty is

that it held no religious significance. The “Celtic” appendage had been used by several clubs in the region for many years. It seems likely that it was merely a name which appealed to those running

the new club. The newly-formed committee was more concerned with financial

matters than the frippery of naming the club.

DID YOU KNOW?


club could only field nine players. Contemporary reports were not sympathetic and concentrated on potential action by the committee of the new league if Athletic officials could not give good reasons for not fielding a full team. Despite their difficulties, Athletic struggled on and managed to put out eleven players most of the time. Indeed, the team earned some impressive victories, such as the win (5-2) over Shankhouse during Christmas time. The Evening Chronicle reported that “their 5 2 win did not exaggerate their superiority and should act as a tonic in their future efforts.” The team then put together a run of four successive victories, including a sweet revenge win (2-1) over West Cramlington. The improved performances suggested a team going for the Championship rather than one attempting to avoid the wooden spoon. Athletic finished the season third from bottom of the North East Combination, due mainly to the wretched legacy of the first half of the season. The upturn in fortunes for the hapless club was short lived. A decision was made in the summer of 1930 to disband the club, mainly because of poor support. Another, final, rival had come and gone. West Allotment Celtic were destined to be the sole senior representatives of the village over the forthcoming years. The most obscure period in Celtic’s history is that between 1928 1935, when the club played in the NSDCL. Very few details exist as to how the club fared in those years. However, it is known that the League Challenge Cup was won in 1934/35 to provide the club with its first significant honour. Typical of the prevailing trend at the time, the NSDCL merged with the Wallsend & District League to create the Tynemouth & District League (TDL) in 1935. The new competition began operating at the start of the 1935/36 season and Celtic remained in its ranks for three seasons. The Celtic team made a less than auspicious start to their new league career. A five-one reverse at Old Hartley Star was followed by a home defeat (1-2) against Earsdon Road Villa. However, the team soon found its feet and only suffered one further loss in the next nine matches. A win over Seghill Colliery (4-1) in October confirmed the improvement. Harry Potter scored two goals in that game and he began to find the net regularly. The Tubman brothers, Bobby, Jackie and Tommy, were also regulars in the team. Bobby was a good player going forward whilst Tommy was a strong half back. Nainby, Spowart, Crichton, Peacock, Moat and Oliver were other Celtic stalwarts in this period. Backworth Institute made the early pace in the inaugural season of the TDL, winning eight of their first nine games. However, they were unable to sustain this form and soon yielded ground to the challenges of both Cullercoats and

THE RISE OF WEST ALLOTMENT CELTIC

Another rival club gone, entire seasons lost in the wilderness, and the first of many play-off heartaches. Stephen Allott looks at the rising stock of West Allotment’s sole remaining team throughout the ninteen-thirties

In 1934, Mr.J.G.Stroud, agent for the Duke of Northumberland, and Mr.Alfred Moffatt, cashier to the Backworth group of collieries, sat talking in the colliery office at Backworth. Their conversation turned to the condition of Backworth Hall. The Hall had been a stately home but was now partly occupied by a farmer and his family, with the remainder almost derelict. Moffatt suggested that the Miners Welfare Commission (an organisation of colliery employees and employers) buy the Hall and turn it into a useful amenity. The idea was discussed with the other colliery managers and at a meeting it was decided to build cricket pitches and a nine hole golf course. Money was to come from the Welfare Commission Area Fund. This comprised of a levy paid by owners of the Backworth group of collieries, one penny for each ton of coal produced. Work on the Hall took two and a half years to complete. The grounds were laid out first including rugby and football pitches, bowling greens, tennis courts and the golf course. Work then began on the building itself. Old wine cellars and a slaughterhouse in the basement were reconstructed and equipped with showers. The cost of the work for the grounds amounted to £4,415. The interior of the Hall was refitted and redecorated for a sum of £4,000. Central heating was installed and plush furnishings bought to finish off the project. The new Welfare Hall was finally opened on 11th December 1937 at an overall cost of £16,000. West Allotment Celtic soon became embroiled in a dispute over plans for the new Welfare. The Welfare Committee decreed that only two teams would be allowed to play their home games on the new pitches. This meant perming two from Celtic, Backworth Institute, Bertram Place and Shiremoor Albion. The Celtic committee refused to agree to the plan on the grounds that disbanding two clubs would mean twenty two local men losing the chance of a regular game. The omnipotence of the colliery managers was about to be revealed. Celtic’s pitch at Holystone belonged to the Colliery and the club’s committee was “politely” reminded of this fact when they raised their objections to the plans to streamline the number of local teams. Mr.Moffatt was both cashier for the Colliery and Secretary of the Welfare so Celtic appeared to have little chance of winning this particular argument. Bravely, if a little recklessly, the Celtic committee called the bluff of the colliery officials by stating that they had another pitch to go to even if Holystone was taken away from them. In fact, the club did not have another site and the Celtic management quickly realised that it was well out of its depth in pursuing the issue. When the new season arrived, the club officials had no option but to go cap in hand to the Colliery Cashier and ask for permission to continue using the pitch at Holystone. The request was rejected and the committee had learnt that it did not pay to challenge the Colliery administrators. Thankfully, the club’s frantic search for an alternative playing area proved to be successful. The new pitch was the Farm Ground and was used until 1969. Ironically, the new pitch was on land owned, ultimately, by the Colliery. However, the buffer of the farmer allowed the club to continue playing there without any further political problems.

POLITICS AT THE GRASSROOTS


Earsdon Road Villa. Going into the new year, it was generally thought that the title race was between these three teams. Celtic were given scant attention despite loitering with intent in fourth place. A crucial game took place on 11th January. On a very blustery day, Celtic were at home to Whitley & Monkseaton Reserves. The visitors faced the wind in the first half but still managed to go two goals up thanks to strikes from Salkeld and Richley. Allotment responded with determination and showed great character to level the scoreline before half time, courtesy of goals by Moat and Oliver. The second half went the way of Whitley & Monkseaton as their players used the conditions to hem Allotment in their own half. Goals by Morton and Richardson gave the visitors another two goal cushion and this time the home side could not summon up the necessary riposte. The following weekend saw Celtic

lose another crucial match, at home to title rivals Backworth, by the only goal of a hard game. This discouraging sequence of results meant that by mid February, Allotment were ten points behind league leaders Cullercoats, although they did have four games in hand. To have any chance in the race for the championship, the team needed a long string of victories. To the immense satisfaction of those from West Allotment, this requirement was fulfilled, starting with a win over Seghill (2-0) on 22nd February when both goals were scored by Tommy Tubman. The weather intervened to halt the momentum of the team in March. A game at home to Whitley YMCA was abandoned ten minutes after half time with Allotment leading by four goals to three. The YMCA captain asked the referee for permission for his team to leave the pitch due to the “distressing conditions” and his request was upheld. When the cold snap relented, Celtic resumed their fine run to surge past all their title rivals with the exception of Whitley & Monkseaton Reserves, with whom they

finished the season level on points. That windswept game in January had returned to haunt Celtic as the Whitley club had also put together a fine run of results in the second half of the campaign. The two dark horses had finished neck and neck. The late season race up the league table was to become an event synonymous with Celtic throughout their history. The play off, too, was to become a regular additional fixture, with neither goal average nor goal difference taken into account if teams finished level on points. In this particular year, the late run of victories could not be maintained in the play off game. As the spectators from West Allotment looked on dejectedly, Whitley & Monkseaton reprised their earlier triumph over Celtic and duly took the Championship. The club continued to perform well in the TDL, which was expanded to include eighteen teams for the 1936/37 season (although St.Cuthberts CYMS

subsequently withdrew from the competition during the season). Celtic soon banished any disappointment leftover from the play off defeat by making an excellent start to the new campaign. The team won seven of their first nine league fixtures, with the other two drawn. This outstanding form was sustained into the new year, with Celtic losing only two of their first eighteen games. On 6th January the club sat at the top of the table with a two point lead over Seaton Sluice Jubilee. Whitley & Monkseaton were having a moderate season but a dangerous challenge was to come from the team lurking in fourth spot. Cullercoats were six points behind Celtic but with two games in hand. Allotment continued to play superbly, beating Seaton Sluice (3 1) and followed this up with a highly satisfying rout (7-0) of Backworth Institute. The form was so good that after twenty six fixtures, Celtic had scored over one hundred goals and only conceded thirty-one. By 25th March, Allotment’s lead at the top of the table was

six points over Northumberland Square Presbyterians ‘B’ and eight points over third placed Earsdon Road Villa. The lead was quickly stretched even further and seemed unassailable when Celtic went eight points clear with only three games to play. The team had dropped a mere seven points all season. Cullercoats now trailed Celtic by fourteen points, although they did have six games in hand. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, the form of the Celtic side faltered and only three points were picked up from the final three matches. Perhaps memories of the previous campaign had started to play on the nerves. Even so, they looked a safe bet for the title as Cullercoats could not afford to drop more than two points from their remaining games. To the amazement and frustration of the West Allotment players and officials, Cullercoats did manage to claw level with them, as shown in Table 4. The setback left

Celtic unable to match the momentum gathered by the team from the coast and, in an agonising repeat of the previous season, the decisive play off game was lost. It is easy to imagine the anguish felt by everyone within the club as twice the championship was lost on the vagaries of a single game. Typically, the disappointment was shrugged off over the summer months and the team started the 1937/38 season with renewed vigour, determined not to fall short again. The side maintained excellent form over the whole of the new campaign but they were not the only team in the vicinity to be playing well. The team lost only one league fixture during the course of the 1937/38 season. The lone defeat came in a remarkable finale to the league programme. Yet again, the club stood three points clear at the top of the league table with only two games to play. However, Celtic had to play their nearest challengers, in terms of both points and geography, in one of those games. The club standing in the way

THE PERENNIAL PLAY-OFF RUNNERS-UP

THE FORMATION

“The late season race up the league table was to become an event synonymous with Celtic throughout their history. The play-off, too, was to become a regular

additional fixture.”


of the title going to West Allotment was Backworth Welfare. The Welfare side had played immaculately all season and, like Celtic, had not lost a single league game. Despite being unbeaten, Backworth were three points behind Celtic with only three games to play. It was imperative that they beat Celtic in a crunch match to be played on Allotment’s pitch. The fixture stirred the imagination of the local population and resulted in the biggest attendance seen at an Allotment game. It is not difficult to imagine the banter which must have taken place during work breaks and over pints in the local pubs and clubs. Allotment charged admission of 1d for the unemployed and 2d for the employed and raised over £9. Even if the gate consisted mainly of those in work, which is unlikely, this indicates a crowd of over one thousand people. This is despite the fact that there were many vantage points where a person could view for free. To the absolute dismay of those from West Allotment, Backworth were the team destined to retain their unbeaten record as they inflicted upon luckless Celtic their sole defeat of the season. However, there was a further twist as the Welfare side dropped one point during the run in. This was enough to result in both teams finishing level on forty four points, as shown in Table 5. Remarkably, the Allotment players faced a play off for the third consecutive year. A tight game, played at Monkseaton on Saturday 7th May, ended one all after ninety minutes. Extra time saw one further goal. For decades afterwards, Allotment followers who attended the game swore that Baker was yards offside when he went clear and scored to settle the championship in favour of Backworth. That match was the last which Celtic played in the TDL. Amazingly, the club had finished joint top of the league for three successive seasons yet no Celtic player had picked up a championship winners medal. To brush away the regrets, club officials decided to forge ahead and take Celtic up to a higher grade of competition. The timing appeared right. During the 1937/38 season, the club had reached the third round of the NFA Minor Cup for the second successive year. At which point, they were drawn away to face East Cramlington Black Watch. The Watch competed in the superior Northern Alliance and, like Celtic, were unbeaten at the time of the match. Although Allotment were beaten (1 3), they were far from disgraced and contemporary reports tell of “delightful football” being played. The difference appeared to be that the Watch forwards “shot hard and often.....while Celtic forwards tried to walk the ball in”. Allotment officials realised that their players could cope with a higher level of football. The time was ripe for action and the decision was duly made to push the club forward.

CullercoatsWest Allotment CelticEarsdon Road VillaNorth. Square Pres. ‘B’Whitley YMCASeaton Sluice JubileeWhitley Bay & MonkseatonBackworth InstituteSmiths DockWhitley WelfarePercy Main MethodistsTyne East EndShiremoor RoversSeghill CollieryNorth. Square Pres. ‘A’Wesley Coach LaneChirton Methodists

1234567891011121314151617

323232323232323231*32323231*32323232

252522221916151414121311119533

44433454242323533

3367

10121214151617181820222326

10110849573672520-15-13-12-24-33-45-56-78-72

545448474136353230282825242115159

team pl w d l gd pts

West Allotment CelticBackworth WelfareWhitley YMCACullercoatsEarsdon Road VillaNorth. Square Pres. ‘B’Whitley WelfareNorth. Square Pres. ‘A’Seghill CollieryBackworth HotspurTyne East EndWesley Coach LaneChirton Methodists

12345678910111213

24242424242424242424242424

2120151213127686343

2427536723623

107569

11111415151818

908439241313-13-25-3-26-52-51-61

4444323131272019181512109

team pl w d l gd pts

TABLE FOURTYNEMOUTH & DISTRICT LEAGUE

FINAL TABLE 1936/37

TABLE FIVETYNEMOUTH & DISTRICT LEAGUE

FINAL TABLE 1937/38

* The result of the final fixture between these sides is not known, thus it is not included in the table.

NB : In the final published edition of this table, there is a differential of 45 between the “goals for” and “goals against” columns.

NB : In the final published edition of this table, there is a differential of 45 between the “goals for” and “goals against” columns.


NUFC RESERVES

when west Allotment Celtic triumphed by the odd goal in three against Alnwick town in the First Round of the senior Cup, they had no idea what was in store for them. on a regular weekend, the best that the lads could hope for was a trip to Amble town; pleasant, no doubt, but hardly enough to get the pulses racing. The draw for the Second Round of the Northumberland FA competition was cruel or kind on Allotment, depending on perspective. Cruel in the way that their cup run looked destined to end against none other than Newcastle United’s supremely talented reserve outfit; kind in pulling out Allotment as the home team, guaranteeing one of the strongest gates - and biggest financial windfalls - in recent years. The grand spectacle was not just a defining moment for the thousands of supporters that flocked to the touchlines at Backworth Welfare. After years of slogging away in the Alliance, Celtic’s non-league hopefuls were handed the opportunity to test themselves against the Magpies’ second string. The visitors may have played in an

WHEN THE TOON CAME TO TOON

entirely different pyramid to their non-league hosts, but nothing was taken for granted. To that end, United fielded a strong eleven, featuring names that not long ago had graced Kevin Keegan’s teamsheets - as well as some then-unknowns who would go on to forge successful careers in the game. The star attraction was undoubtedly Republic of Ireland international Liam O’Brien, a former Manchester United midfielder who had played a starring role in Newcastle’s title-winning campaign the previous year. He was joined in the line-up by two more internationals in the form of Wales centre-half Alan Neilson and the floppy-haired Cypriot Nikomidos Papavasiliou. The trio were comparatively experienced heads in a young and hungry side, which featured the eighteen-year-old Steve Harper between the sticks, and Alun Armstrong - a name well-known in the lower reaches of the Football League - leading the line. A daunting task, then, but West Allotment had players who had been involved within similar setups to that of

their opponents. Defensive terrier Billy Foreman was once on the books at Bristol Rovers. Les Yeomans had spent time within Sunderland’s academy. And, most notably of all, number nine Steve Forster had won silverware with the Toon’s youth team eight years previous. Long since discarded by their respective clubs, the trio had a point to prove, much like the rest of the squad. The cold and blustery conditions did little to dampen the spirits of the Backworth crowds, swollen almost beyond recognition at the Welfare Ground. The world-famous black and white stripes of the Magpies were instead draped across the torsos of the Allotment players, in accordance with their status as the home team. United took to the field in their less iconic blue kit, causing a great deal of bewilderment amongst neutrals and die-hard Toon fans alike. As expected, Newcastle seized the initiative practically from kick-off, their opponents content to stifle them by putting men behind the ball. Two deep banks of four (and often five) afforded United plenty of space around the halfway line, but stood firm and unmoving when they encroached upon the final third. Allotment, for their part, showed flashes of promise on the counter, with Harper having to be alert to beat Michael Storey to the ball on two occasions. The Reserves soon found their rhythem and settled into the game. The cultured O’Brien thumped the game’s first effort low towards David Marshall’s bottom corner, but the Celtic stopper flung himself at the ball to deny the Irishman. Armstrong was getting into all the right areas, his presence requiring a desperate touch from Stefan Ross to knock the ball out of his path. His Celtic counterpart was also proving to be something of a handful, but Forster’s teasing cross floated agonisingly over the heads of two teammates. Nevertheless, it was Armstrong who first dared to trouble the goal. A looping long ball from Nathan Murray

(Or rather, the village)

NUFC Reserves’ visit to Backworth Welfare in the NFA Senior Cup

David Marshall tips over a looping, dipping Mike Jeffrey effort


dropped kindly into the path of the burly blonde behemoth, who thudded his half-volley onto the face of the crossbar. If that was close, Tony Dinning’s effort minutes later was even closer. Graham Stokoe’s charge into the box opened up space for the pullback, but the fledgling full-back could only poke wide of goal. The commentator declared it to be the first goal, such was the ease of the finish, before bashfully retracting his claim. The waves of attack were repelled calmly and confidently by the centre-half pairing of Ross and Foreman, ferociously tackling fully capped internationals as though it were a Sunday morning pub match. They largely kept the patient Premier League fringe players at bay, until Mike Jeffrey finally broke the pairing’s shackles. Forced out wide, the dangerous forward cut inside on his right foot, producing a dipping effort that Marshall had to tip over. As half-time edged ever nearer, the scores remained dead even, emboldening the increasingly plucky hosts. A treble salvo just minutes prior to half-time reminded Newcastle that victory was not an inevitability. First, Forster anticipated a throw-in better than Steve Harper, who was caught completely unaware bt the striker’s unsighted presence. The Allotment attacker scurried around the desperate ‘keeper and instinctively squared the ball across the box, but the only waiting recipient was the somewhat relieved Neilson. Moments later, Celtic found themselves deep in United territory once more, courtesy of a rare set-piece. Paul Jeffrey’s inswinging delivery was met by Micky Chilton, the ball looping off his head and nestling on the top of the net. The lively forward was gifted another opportunity, as complacency began to creep into the Magpies’ game. Jeffrey was again the architect, releasing John Fitzpatrick down the right flank with a perfectly weighted pass. The midfielder’s delivery was anticipated by Nielson, but the centre-half did not expect to tumble to the floor,

handing Chilton a gilt-edged opportunity to put Allotment ahead. Harper raced out to prevent him from getting a shot away, the ball sticking between Micky’s feet and Steve’s outstretched legs, before the latter gathered safely. Down at the bottom end, the increasingly influential Jeffrey almost found space to turn, but was denied so much as an inch by the excellent Ross. Both sides entered the break without a strike to their name, with one set of players looking notably more pleased about it than the other. The big guns came out blazing, a Papavasiliou free-kick needing a deflection to take it wide, before Allotment raised their game. The long balls became less frequent, superceded by the kind of flowing football that had served them well in the Alliance. A slick one-two between the bombardiering Ross and Fitzpatrick cut open the away side, offering Yeomans space to get down the left, but his cross-shot left much to be desired. Papavasiliou came close with another free-kick, pushed away and then smothered by Marshall, but it was Allotment who snatched the lead, stunning the Reserves with the game’s opening goal. This time, it was Nathan Murray’s turn to miss his interception, allowing Yeoman’s fine pass to drift into the path of Forster, who could hardly believe his luck. He kept his nerve when it mattered, comfortably rounding Harper and rolling the ball into the empty net, to the manic delight of the home faithful. Not wishing to be humbled by a non-league outfit, the visitors ruthlessly hit back, Jeffrey was gifted a free run at goal by Ross’ misjudgement, only for the centre-half to recover and clear off the line. His defensive partner was forced to repeat the feat minutes later, hacking away a goalbound volley from Papavasiliou. The goal was forthcoming, but was nonetheless a disappointing one to concede. The Cypriot midfielder made it third time lucky from the dead ball, catching Allotment ‘keeper Marshall unawares and beating

him at his near post. Their swagger restored, United pressed on - and after Jeffrey was denied twice more by Marshall, he settled for the role of provider, nodding a corner into the path of Peter Cormack, who poked home from six yatds. A game-killing third came soon after, and there wasn’t much that Marshall - or indeed anyone -could do about it. O’Brien demonstrated why he’d played over 150 games for the Toon, bringing the ball down on his chest and thumping high past the ‘keeper. There was even room for a fourth. Marshall won his personal battle against Jeffrey, denying the forward for a final time, but he parried straight towards ghosting full-back Dinning, who cushioned the ball across the line. There was still some fight left in those fatigued Allotment legs, but a consolatory final goal was beyond them. Forster could not add to his tally when in acres of space, pounding the ball well clear of the post and bar, whilst further efforts from a set-piece were blocked and went astray. When the final whistle sounded, Newcastle knew that they had been in a game, with the scoreline flattering John Carver’s side somewhat. Dogged, diligent and devoted to a man, Allotment went down worthy losers, tiring after holding their own for so long. Perhaps it would have been a similar story but with the fairytale ending, had Allotment, much like their top-flight opponents, had more reserves to draw upon.

Steve Forster scoring an iconic goal in West Allotment’s recent history


he recalled. “I think I had a half-decent season. Obviously, every goalkeeper wants to play week in, week out, but I was happy with my performances, and I think I’ve still got more to give.” If the new incumbent thought that his form, coupled with Ames’ protracted spell on the sidelines, would guarantee a starting berth the following season, he’d be wrong. After a successful season of rotation in the net, the coaches brought back former Celtic custodian Chris Bannon from Washington - by no means a bashful understudy. A poor performance could see either of them lose ground in the race for the number one jersey, keeping Ryan very much on his toes. “Chris is a good ‘keeper as well, so I welcome the competition. I’d rather be playing myself every week, but obviously they like to rotate it here. I think we’re both aware that at the moment we’re both performing well, so we’re not really letting them make a decision.” The promising ‘keeper started his career in his hometown of Ipswich, playing in the Town’s youth setup as part of a scheme with Suffolk College. “It was decent, couldn’t complain. I think I learned a lot from being there, not through just on the field, but from the way you are mentally.” Upon turning 18, he tended the net for Eastern Counties outfits, with Woodbridge Town and Whitton United on his footballing CV. Soon after, the goalkeeper found himself travelling up the A1, for reasons that were personal rather than professional. “ There’s a question! I worked abroad in Kavos, and met my girlfriend there, and she’s from up here. Drawn up by women!” Despite his talent and potential,

Beal was an unknown quantity outside of Suffolk. “ I had a trial at Blyth at the start of one season, then went from there to North Shields. After that, I still wasn’t very well-known around here, so I had to try and get some football in somewhere. A mate from work played at Alnwick, so I gave that a go for a bit, and then obviously got a move to here.” His time with the Robins began in much the same way as at Celtic, deputising for an injured mainstay. “They signed me because Robbo had broken his ankle or wrist, I think it was. So I played, and I’d joined because they kind of said I’d be number one and he’d have to work his way in, but without contracts it didn’t work out that way. So he came back in when he was fit, halfway through last season.”Ryan describes it as a “funny situation”, one which was made clearer by the departure of Anthony Woodhouse and the honesty of current boss Graham Fenton. “ Going into the next season, he said that Robbo would be his number one, he wanted to keep me there, and I’d probably get a look-in, but you know, it’s up to me. He said you’d be getting paid, but as I said to him, it’s not really about the money for me at the moment, it’s about getting the games under your belt and building a bit of a reputation.” The decision to leave for Alnwick Town, and consequently for West Allotment, ultimately proved to be the correct one, as the Suffolk shot stopper went on to make 27 appearances between the sticks for the club, helping Celtic to their first silverware in eight years. But Beal almost missed out on the big day, the Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup final against Northallerton Town. With

oF all the numbers that adorn the players’ backs, the first is by far the boldest. It says more than any other, perhaps even the exalted nine bestowed upon the primary goalgetter. It is a mark of quality, of superiority, acknowledgement that there is no equal. Its wearer can confidently state that he is number one. That’s not quite the case at West Allotment. The kitbag contains plenty of goalkeeping jerseys - one stretching back almost a decade - but no number thirteen. It may be down to budgetary constraints or, more likely, common sense, but Celtic only have number ones, on the shirt and in the main squad. The new rotation policy came into effect thirteen months ago, as an unexpected by-product of a serious goalkeeping crisis. Top stopper Aiden Ames had injured his knee, precisely at the moment when his jaded deputy Gareth Powell chose to pack his bags. Sean Page and Daniel White deputised for one game apiece; the former was inexperienced, the latter lacked match fitness, and both endured days to forget. With Allotment haemorrhaging points, the 24-year-old Beal put pen to paper in time for the trip to Chester-le-Street. “ It was Wilf and his son, who’s my mate, that came to me and said there was a move here if I want it, and said that I’d go straight in, but I’d have to fight for a place in the future. But it was closer to home, and a better club with a lot more ambition than Alnwick, so it was a no-brainer, really.” He hasn’t looked back since. His displays between the sticks initially kept the returning Ames out of the side. “When I joined, Stona made me aware that he’d been the best player in the last season and stuff like that, so I knew I had to fight my way in,”

FROM TRACTOR BOY TO ALLOTMENT STEWARDTHE ipswich-born ‘keeper on his roots, his past, and tHE cONSTANT BATTLE for the number one jersey


Ames out of the frame, Ryan had become Allotment’s first-choice - and only choice - ‘keeper. But a trip to Morpeth Town in the league threatened to prematurely curtail his season, after a powerfully struck attempt on goal had the newly-christened number one wincing in pain. “When I first did it, it obviously hurt, but it was towards the end of the game, so I was able to play through it then, but when I came off...I’d broken my wrist before, and I knew it felt fairly similar to how it was then, so I was kind of a bit worried, but all I could do was get it checked out.” But, for the first time in the campaign, fate was on the side of Celtic’s goalkeepers. “Initially, they told me it was broken, and then a couple of weeks later said that it wasn’t! I knew that maybe it would only take a couple of weeks before I could start doing stuff on it - it was obviously badly strained - so I always had my eye on coming back in. I had a chat with Stona and he said if you’re fit and you’re back, then you’ll play. It pushed me on to get through.” And get through he did, playing his part in Allotment’s glorious 3-1 cup triumph. One year on, the team have once again turned their attention towards the biggest prize outside of the Football Association cups - promotion to Divsion One. Ryan is taking it one step at a time, but is cautiously optimistic about the club’s chances. “We should be pushing on and seeing that there’s an opportunity. Stona keeps saying that we need to realise the situation we’re in, and we’re in a good position where we can kick on and be up there. I think the lads realise it, but we need to hit home on the pitch, get some

performances in and get some wins on the table.” The progress could so easily have been stunted by the latest injury crisis to befall the club, with players dropping like flies after every game. Paul Stoneman could only name thirteen players in the squad ahead of the crunch match against Birtley Town - a game in which Ryan was set to feature, only to succumb to a niggling injury prior to kick-off. “On Monday, I did it stupidly playing five-a-side,” he admitted - becoming the third ‘keeper in two seasons to hurt himself in such a manner. “I pulled my hamstring but didn’t feel too bad at the time. I rested it in midweek, didn’t really do any warm-up or anything on it then. It felt fine going in, and then Bannon was secretly trying to stretch me! I went down to scoop the ball up, and I felt it go. Then when he was sticking some crosses in and I was pushing off it, there was a bit of pain there, so I said to Stona that it wasn’t 100%, and I told him that if I was honest and in his position, I’d swap it around. If you’re injured, you’re injured, there’s no point trying to play through it. I just had to be honest, to be honest!” It was the latest blow for Celtic, who were already missing a host of key players, and the similarly stricken stopper has only witnessed such a catastrophe once before. “When I was at Whitton United, in the kids’ setup going through when we were training at Ipswich, we had a game away to Boreham Wood or somewhere in London, and I had to play up front in that game. Bagged one, though! I think that was probably slightly worse. But we’re getting there. Bannon was going to be on the bench as a player today! I think it was

getting to that stage.” Bannon was on hand to ditch the hoops and strap the gloves back on, but Allotment weren’t quite so fortunate last season, when even the third-choice goalie Bob Rodgerson, a fine player himself, was unavailable for half of the games. Instead, the likes of Marc Dummett and Sean Reid had to fill in, conceding just one goal in 150 minutes between them. Are they merely able deputies, or could they put pressure on the current crop of ‘keepers? “I think they’re better in defence and midfield than me, put it that way!” he laughed. “It’s always good to have people who can come in and do a job if needs be. But I don’t see them as competition, to be honest.” Having recovered from his minor setback, Beal has returned to his customary place between the posts, keeping his back four in check. His footballing role is not far removed from his occupational one, as he begins working with vulnerable people and offenders as an employment adviser. “I’m used to dealing with thugs and criminals from playing with West Allotment, people like Penders!” he joked. “I think it’s about being authoritative at times and setting boundaries. You can’t really show any weakness in the job, you just have to stick to your guns and do things right. So in a way, I suppose it can come through to being a goalkeeper as well, trying to be in control.” Despite impressing at Northern League level for a host of teams, not least West Allotment Celtic, Ryan feels that there is little chance of his footballing passion paying the bills. “Obviously, it’s tough to make it through as a footballer these days, especially as a goalkeeper, where in general you only have probably a maximum of three in your squad at a professional level,” the former Ipswich man lamented. “So it’s not easy to really make it as a goalkeeper. As a 12, 13-year-old I was playing as any other kid would be, and then I had more of a peak when I got to the age of 15, 16, so it was a bit late in a way. I think I’ve given up on the ambition of being professional now at the age of 24.” Ryan should look to the continent, where Javi Varas had, up until the age of 23, played only amateur football. Now, he is keeping clean sheets against Barcelona and saving Leo Messi penalties. Closer to home, Neville Southall was playing non-league football before his rapid ascent through the pyramid culminated in seventeen years of top-flight football. It can happen. Traditionally, goalkeepers are late bloomers. By that logic, at the very least, West Allotment Celtic can expect very big things from one of their already promising shot stoppers - even if a juicy sell-on clause isn’t one of them.

FROM TRACTOR BOY TO ALLOTMENT STEWARD


SEAN REID

REID ALL ABOUT IT

Celtic’s most promising star on his academy career, non-league action and his future in football

“he’s got a good touch for a big man.” The cliché is wheeled out whenever any player over six 6ft 2in shows a modicum of ability with anything other than his head. standing at at least 6ft 5in - by reasonable estimation - sean Reid ought to have fallen victim to aspersions cast about his ability with regards to his height. The words haven’t been uttered once within whitley Park, or indeed on Allotment’s travels. sean is a talented player first and foremost, a tall one second. Not that his rangy frame hasn’t benefitted him, certainly in his early teens. “As a young lad, I started out as a centre mid, but when I turned 13, I was about a foot taller than everyone else, so they put me at centre-half. I played there, and that’s when I got spotted, really,” he recalls. A trial at Newcastle United followed, but the 16-year-old Reid travelled to South Yorkshire in pursuit of his footballing dream. “I went to Barnsley for two years. It was a big change, a great experience to go down there and play high quality football. It’s what you want to play, really.” That experience was not only accrued at the training ground. “The living lifestyle as well - I was in a great house with a few lads from Liverpool and Everton. It was fun, more or less. I enjoyed it.” After his spell at Oakwell, the young defender found himself without a club. “I’m not the sort of person that goes round,” he admitted. “I didn’t really have my connections. When I was at Newcastle, people had backup plans for clubs, but I was just a local lad, surprised to get a trial with them to begin with, and then came home, and I just wanted to play football.” Keen to get game time under his belt, Reid linked up with his friends at Wallsend Town, before the transfer of a compatriot ultimately led to his ascension into the

Northern League. “One of them left to go to Ryton, and said that the manager knows who I am and wants me to go. The Northern League was a better standard than the Northern Alliance, so I went there.” His first taste of step six action came as the man leading Albion’s line. “I think I scored four goals in my first two games for them. But they were a poor team when I was there. They had no shape about them, no defence,” perhaps missing Reid’s presence at the back in favour of his goalscoring nous up front. It soon became clear that the ability within Ryton’s squad did not match Reid’s own, but his next move up the ladder, to the recently relegated Allotment, did not come through the orthodox channels. “On a Sunday, I was speaking to Marc Dummett, and I said to him “tell your manager to give me a ring, and I’ll come”. But that was as a joke - I didn’t really know he would! He said to come, and I came here.” Like many jokes, some intent undoubtedly lingered beneath the light-heartedness, and so it proved. A move to a more ambitious side, seriously looking to break back into the top tier, represented another step up for Reid. Much like across the Tyne, Reid was deployed as a centre-forward, scoring sixteen goals in his first season and matching that total the next. Are his days as a defender long behind him? “The reason I don’t play centre-half any more is because I find the game a bit too easy - I’m not much involved in play. I prefer now to be on the ball and get more involved. People say to me, do you prefer up front, do you prefer to be off (the striker); I think I like both of them as well. I like to have the free space to create something, but sometimes I like to be the main man to score a goal here or there.” And score he has. Despite playing as a central midfielder -

AN EXCLUSIVE CHAT WITH ALLOTMENT’S ALL-ACTION PLAYMAKER


REID ALL ABOUT ITReid: Why I turned

down top tier teams

reacquainted with the role halfway through last season - Reid currently tops the scoring charts with nine goals, well on the way to bettering his previous totals at Allotment. The versatile playmaker paid tribute to those who allow him to get forward and attack with creativity and fluency. “You know your ball players in the team and you just want them to be there. Not only do they make you a better player, they make you look like a better player. The first few games we struggled a bit to play football, because there was only the likes of me and Dean Lee that were comfortable enough to take a player on and try little one-twos. I feel as though when David Henderson came back against Seaham, we were just a much more attacking team.” Even with his impressive tally, Allotment finished seven points off the promotion spots last year - and Reid believes they were good enough to go up, only for errors to cost them dearly. “Sometimes last season we cost ourselves by coming out in the second half as a poor team, or we didn’t start really well, conceded too early in games.” Asked if Celtic could finally break back into the big time, his response was as confident and unerring as his performances on the pitch. “Absolutely, no doubt.” A player of Reid’s calibre could be forgiven for looking beyond the Northern League and into the professional ranks. And, at 21, it’s not too late for him to make it. “I think if the opportunity comes, you’re going to have to take it. But at the minute, I’m liking my football here. Obviously, if a team comes in asking you to play full-time, getting paid week in week out, it’s what every person wants. It’s like a dream, and I’d definitely take it!” For now, the dream of Division One football remains more realistic for Celtic’s soaring star. All the while, the talented midfielder sharpens his ever-increasing skill set. Who knows; in three or four years’ time, we could all find ourselves reading about him in an altogether different - and more widespread - publication.

AN EXCLUSIVE CHAT WITH ALLOTMENT’S ALL-ACTION PLAYMAKER

Most players plying their trade in Division two of the northern League find it very difficult to resist the allure of the top tier when the bigger guns come calling.

The attraction of playing against the Bishop Aucklands and Spennymoors of the non-league world - not to mention the substantially increased pay packet - has been sufficient enough to turn the head of many a fine young footballer. All too often, those same players are back at their previous club within a month or two, starved of attention, playing time and pocket money.

Such a fate is unlikely to befall Sean Reid. His blistering form last season alerted perennial top four side and relatively recent FA Vase winners Dunston UTS, who made enquiries about the midfielder’s availability. The Fed had first-hand experience of Reid’s ability, as the 21-year-old had started against them in the League Cup - but, whilst Dunston were impressed, Reidy was not.

“When we played them at home, they look like they resorted to just the long ball,” he said. “Playing against them, I thought it was quite easy to play against. We didn’t win, but the way they were playing, I didn’t like it. I preferred our players over theirs, as they looked like a bunch of big-timers!”

Reid has subsequently rejected an offer from Division One strugglers Hebburn Town, and the versatile prospect admitted he is enjoying his football at Whitley Park. “I like how we played last season, with the likes of David Henderson, Dean Lee, Chris Douglas, passing between players.”

Should things go Celtic’s way, Reid could be playing Division One football next year - in a team that suits his playing style and ability.


THE RADAR

UNDER THE RADARHOW WEST ALLOTMENT REMAIN THE DIVISION’S DARKER HORSES

IT has been said by many an observer that the current Division Two campaign is one of the closest in recent years. They’re certainly not wrong. At least six different clubs, all differing in eminence and affluence but not ambition, are vying for three promotion berths. Some have been more conspicuous in their pursuit of that goal than others. Jarrow Roofing are by far the most notable, in no small part thanks to their founding beneficiary. Richie McLoughlin is living every business-minded football enthusiast’s dream, bankrolling and managing his own club. When Paul Bennett made the short trip from Hebburn to Jarrow, all he left behind was the Sports & Social Ground and a few corner flags. It was not to be for Benno, who left not one week ago, but whoever dares to sit beside the Roofing magnate next can expect to add more players to the wage bill. Just down the road, Birtley Town’s transformation from an unremarkable outfit to a de facto Conference reserve side is well-known, whilst Seaham Red Star seem to add a new Northern League stalwart to their ranks with every passing week. Closer to home, North Shields have also opened their checkbook to strengthen an already dangerous squad, and Heaton Stannington - perhaps the most surprising of all - intend to replicate Allotment’s remarkable feat of back to back promotions, achieved in 2005. The Stan have certainly had better luck on the pitch than off, with the floodlight fiasco that has beset the unfortunate club not affecting the superb performances of the players. Even when perched atop the table, Heaton could be considered the most surprising underdogs. But for that very reason, it is West Allotment that may well be considered the most lightly regarded promotion contender - at the peril of those who underestimate them. At present, the spotlights are all trained on every other Division One hopeful. Derek Thompson’s rampant Stan side have warranted early attention, even if their current standing is more than a little

misleading, having played more games than most of the other candidates. Likewise, the results of Shields and the Star only serve to heighten the already great expectations surrounding the clubs. Both have hit lesser teams for five and six on more than one occasion; the daunting scorelines will frighten some sides but embolden others. Players find it easier to gee themselves up against high-flyers than also-rans. There’s nothing quite so flashy about Allotment. Aside from two 4-0 victories on the road, Celtic have ground out half of their positive results, and comfortably - if not rampantly - seen out the rest. The fans would love to see their side put four and five past the opposition on a regular basis at Whitley Park, but such form would inevitably come with a caveat. Crushing wins build confidence within the camp, but consistent walkovers can unintentionally create a breeding ground for complacency; hamstrung by their own hubris. It can be tougher to micromanage than a morale-sapping losing streak, but it’s an issue of which the coaching triumverate is acutely aware. It’s not just the modest results of the current campaign that have helped Allotment slip beneath the scopes. Memories of their dalliance in Division One are just distant enough to relegate Celtic in a different sense, from promotion favourites to a strong mid-table team in the minds of many. Two consecutive seventh-placed finishes were moderate at best, but last year’s standing represented an Allotment side that was as troubled in the first half of the campaign as they were blistering in the second. That same squad, with a few select additions, have continued in the same kind of form that landed them silverware in May. Just one player left the village behind at the end of the footballing year - in order to spend time studying in Spain. The £10 substitute’s fee wouldn’t quite cover George Johnstone’s 2500-mile commute. Those who stayed in the North East remained with the club, with two in particular rejecting the overtures of their curious


rivals. There would be no disrupting the final stage of the rebuilding process, commenced by the current management team two years ago. The quasi-familial ties that exist within the higher echelons of the setup have also been forged in the dressing room. The players are the building blocks; their collective attitude is the concrete. Any new bricks have to be made of the right stuff. And, thanks to Paul Hogg’s eye for potential, Allotment have assembled a team on a shoestring when compared to some of their free-spending adversaries. Rather than taking a step down from the top tier, most of Allotment’s current line-up have made a significant step up, be it from a struggling divisional rival, or the deepest, darkest reaches of the Alliance. Current captain Ian Dunn initially joined from then-Alliance champions Walker Central. The quartet of Sean Reid, Michael Bell, Liam Hudson and John Pendlebury, all key players for Celtic this season, were poached from a Ryton side that were struggling to stay afloat. Marc Dummett, arguably the best left-back in the division, was plying his trade with Ponteland United down in step seven. Even Stephen Little, the club’s Player of the Year for 2012/13, had been at Killingworth in recent years. The roll call speaks for itself. There are no star signings or major transfer coups; only players who are prepared to work hard for their teammates and for themselves. The money is the same almost across the board, but it has never been about that. Though a pittance compared to the hundreds of pounds floating around the Northern League, the lads get to play on the best football pitch within the non-league system. For those who care more about the quality of their football than their bank balance, it’s a fair deal. Those enticed by the prospect include Washington duo Chris Bannon and Michael Latimer, as well as well-travelled forward Lawrence McKenna. All three are solid, reliable acquisitions with Northern League experience to boot. Joining them are centre-half Alex Nisbet and winger Connor Graham, recent signings from Longbenton. The pair had turned out against Allotment’s ‘A’ team just weeks prior, and have both since started games against the likes of Birtley Town and Ryton looking far from overwhelmed in their first Northern League outings. While most of the rivals continue to crane their necks towards the top tier’s fringe players, Hoggy and Wilf cherrypick the oft-neglected talent below - at a fraction of the price. Finally, the committee has gone to great lengths to ensure that this eighty-five-year-old club has everything in place to enjoy another century of existence. With the squad budget remaining modest and promotion attainable, there will be no escalating expenditure and no spiralling financial crises. So many non-league clubs have gambled on their future and lost, but the wise heads in the Backworth boardroom are playing it safe behind the scenes. The consistent performances, close victories and evenly-balanced squad may, in actuality, stand Celtic in better stead than their free-spending, pressure-laden neighbours.Without the loudly positive or negative blips that would alert the opposition or supporters respectively, Celtic can continue their stealthy ascent towards the top. It remains to be seen just how long Allotment can remain undetected on the way - and whether the rivals will be able to do anything once the club’s strength in modesty is uncloaked.


AWAY DAYS

COACH TRIP(s)

After despatching Stokesley at home in the First Qualifying Round, Allotment’s reward was a trip to the market town of Penrith, a destination more popular with outdoor enthusiasts than football fans. The Blues have been doing some climbing of their own in recent years, scrambling into Division One and establishing a firm foothold in the upper tier. The World Group Stadium is more modest than the name suggests; it must be one of the few grounds where spectators pay admission, but the cows get to watch for free. The game did not appeal to the docile cattle, who had fled the bank in anticipation of a heated battle. Both sides grabbed a goal apiece, before Ian Dunn, having put Celtic ahead, gifted Steven Rigg the opportunity to turn the tables on the visitors. What the game lacked in quality it, more than made up for in intensity. The tackles came thick and fast, raising the crowd’s heckles with every fifty-fifty. The home goalkeeper turned the air almost as blue as his shirt. Yet it was more thunder than blood - until the assistant awarded a frivolous penalty against Michael Bell. Beal made a remarkable save to keep the score tight, but the debacle had both sides

seething for different reasons at the break. The young linesman lit the touchpaper again as the game recommenced, handing the hosts their second dubious penalty of the afternoon. Channelling the shot-stopping ability of Richard Wright in his prime, Beal palmed away a second spot-kick. The officials ditched any pretence of impartiality moments later, sending off Stoneman for a supposed headbutt, after the player-manager was punched and kicked by Steven Rigg. As fate would have it, the latter scored from the resulting free-kick to make the game safe. Fourteen versus ten was difficult enough before Bell, persecuted throughout, lost his cool and was dismissed for a late lunge. Penrith went on to get a fourth, and could have had four more if it weren’t for the quick reflexes of Beal. The ride home was far less downhearted than expected, collective acknowledgment of their defeat at the hands of the officials. The man in the middle hailed from Allotment; he would not have been a welcome passenger on the coach ride home.

PENRITHFA Vase 4-1 defeat 84 miles

Local rivalries are all well and good, but it is the trips to the farthest flung reaches of the country that often serve toexcite and define the hardcore football fanatic. The Toon hordes would travel to Land’s End to cheer on their team, but until

Penzance A.F.C. work their way up the pyramid, Southampton will have to suffice. West Allotment needn’t travel that far, unless theirjourney through the F.A. competitions prove to be fruitful. To the delight of some - and the chagrin of others - the coach trip remains a

necessity, thanks to the admission of select Cumbrian clubs into the Northern League system. Judging by Allotment’s recent results across the Cheviots, the fans could be forgiven for staying at home. Then again, when was the football just about the football?


COACH TRIP(s)

The customary annual trip to Whitehaven came just a fortnight later, but the lads had comfortably overcome any lingering travel sickness, hitting Darlington R.A. for four down at Brinkburn Road. Historically, the committee insisted that we never got anything in Cumbria - and that much was evident before we had even reached the ground. Sheepish about the narrow, winding road leading up to the Focus Sports Scaffolding Complex, the bus driver parked up at the bottom of the incline. The players may have appreciated the opportunity to stretch their legs after ninety minutes at a right angle, but for some of the less mobile fans, it was less of a walk, more of a trek. The committee may have to jetisson some of the crates of alcohol in favour of oxygen tanks next time around. Those who did make it up the hill - that’s everyone, for the record - could help themselves to beautiful views and blossoming blackberries. The ground, though dwarfed by the neighbouring rugby club, still offers some of the most picturesque scenery

that the Northern League has to offer. It’s a shame that the home fans, notable by their absence, had grown bored of the idyllic surroundings - and their local team. After a strong start yielded the early Lawrence McKenna goal, Allotment rested on their laurels, and the hosts pushed back. A combination of poor marking and fine attacking saw Haven twice unlock the Celtic defence, and the visitors’ fate was sealed by Marc Allen’s own goal after the restart. Allotment threw everything and everyone at the Cumbrians, but spurned chances to steal an unwarranted draw, with Sean Reid’s saved penalty compounding the misery. The saddest sight was saved for last; David Henderson’s face as he picked apart his “pedigree chum pie” - a dog’s dinner, much like Allotment’s performance. Back on the bus, there’s plenty of time for contemplation, but the dejection is fast washed away by the amber nectar. Spirits were high and flowing; a lewd rendition of a Neil Diamond classic putting smiles on the faces of all but one. Two disappointing results, then, but two good days - a unique product of the communal long-distance experience.

WHITEHAVENNL Div Two 3-1 defeat 106 miles

Local rivalries are all well and good, but it is the trips to the farthest flung reaches of the country that often serve toexcite and define the hardcore football fanatic. The Toon hordes would travel to Land’s End to cheer on their team, but until

Penzance A.F.C. work their way up the pyramid, Southampton will have to suffice. West Allotment needn’t travel that far, unless theirjourney through the F.A. competitions prove to be fruitful. To the delight of some - and the chagrin of others - the coach trip remains a

necessity, thanks to the admission of select Cumbrian clubs into the Northern League system. Judging by Allotment’s recent results across the Cheviots, the fans could be forgiven for staying at home. Then again, when was the football just about the football?


since its inception eighty-five years ago, west Allotment Celtic has always been bound by familial ties. Founding fathers passed their passion down to their next of kin, a love for the club transcending the generations. Much the same applied to the playing squad, who could not fail to be enamoured in a similar fashion. some, like battle-hardened captain Derek stoneman, brought their children into the fold. Backworth welfare became a second home to the boy, and football his first love. “Ever since I can remember, I’ve always had a football at my feet,” admitted Paul, whose father wore the Allotment armband with pride for seven years. “I used to come and watch Allotment. I wasn’t a mascot as such, but I was in a lot of the old team photographs; myself, Paul Mason and Davey Little. The three of us used to go everywhere with West Allotment, up to Haltwhistle and places like that. We used to go week in week out, and we used to love it.” It wasn’t just the sight of his father in the middle of the park that inspired the young charge - his mother also had a role to play. “She used to go and watch Allotment play when my dad played. They were both a massive influence. They’ve

been all over the country watching me, my mam and dad.” Over three decades and three hundred professional appearances later, the prodigal son has returned to his childhood roots, having forged a career for himself in the beautiful - and often brutal - game. First spotted by a local scout whilst playing for Cramlington and New Hartley, the then 17-year-old was soon offered a trial at Division Four side Blackpool - but they weren’t the only suitors interested in acquiring the centre-half. “As it happens, Darlington asked me to sign as well, but I had a bit of a chat with my family, and we decided that it might’ve been better to get away from the North-East and concentrate on my football. So I turned Darlington down and signed for Blackpool, and ended up doing a year’s YTS there.” The decision was brave and mature for one so young, but it ultimately paid off. Stoneman went on to make over 75 appearances in all competitions for the Tangerines under fellow Geordie man Billy Ayre, enjoying his football and the lifestyle. Unfortunately, his time on the Pleasure Beach was cut unceremoniously short, as

the arrival of a new manager prompted a drastic sea change. “I was only 22 at the time. Unfortunately, Billy left and went to Cardiff City. Obviously Sam Allardyce came in and he had different ideas, and it was him who let me go. I was gutted. I’d made some good friends at Blackpool, and it was a good place for a young lad to grow up.” Stona did not have to wait long for another opportunity to impress in the Football League, with Colchester United snapping him up on a short-term deal. His professional career was back on track, but his personal life had to take precedence. With a pregnant wife waiting back in the North East, the centre-half ’s immediate future lay away from the U’s. “She was in Newcastle at the time, and I was in Colchester, not getting back. I got asked to sign for two months; I only ended up staying for six weeks because my little one was due. My loyalties lay at home.” Alex was born soon after his dad’s return from Essex. With a newborn and a family to take care of, Paul’s next move would have to provide more security than in previous years - and he was offered just that at Halifax Town, courtesy of another Tyneside tactician.“I got offered a good deal, and another fellow

THE MANAGER

The big break at Blackpool, his tenure at Celtic, and

everything in between.Player-manager Paul Stoneman

reflects on his career - including the moment his time at Whitley Park

almost came to an end

THE NEW STONE AGE


Geordie, John Bird, asked me to sign. They sorted me out with accommodation and half-decent money.” Stoneman stressed that the financial side of the deal was far from “the be all and end all”, pointing out Bird’s enthusastic ambitions and the club’s general stature in footballing circles, but it did allow the 23-year-old to settle with his family and focus on his football. And settle he did, remaining with the Shaymen for a decade. His first two seasons at the club were turmultuous to say the least, in marked contrast to his third. “In the second season, we were one defeat away from getting relegated into the Unibond. We stayed up, and the following season we got promoted.” Halifax put the disappointment of recent years behind them, romping to the title - “we waltzed the league; it was won in March, I think” - and earning promotion back into Division Three. It was a moment that the stopper described as “the highlight of my career”, before going on to state that the 1997/98 team, featuring the likes of Kieran O’Regan and future Premier League striker Geoff Horsfield, was “the best side as far as I’m concerned that I’ve played in”. Their return to the Football League started brightly enough, with Stoneman a regular presence within the back four, but all was not well at The Shay. “As it happens, I think we were lying seventh in League Two and the management team got the sack, which we couldn’t understand at all, and things sort of went downhill from there,” the centre-half lamented. After three more declining campaigns, each more troublesome than the last, Halifax slipped back into the Conference.And, although the club endured mixed fortunes throughout the nineties, Stoneman was always held in high regard, on the terraces and elsewhere. His nomination by the PFA as Halifax Town’s greatest ever player stands as testament to the fact - not only in figurative terms, but also quite literally, occupying a frame on Paul’s landing. “Every time I walk past, I have a look. It’s a massive achievement and I’m proud as punch.” His troubled club soon entered administration, prompting the 32-year-old to consider his options. “I dropped down a few leagues. I wanted to play as high as I could, so I went to Harrogate Town for a season, and I’ve just been working my way down the leagues ever since!” Wakefield and Bridlington were the next two notches on Stoneman’s ever-lengthening belt, with the latter move also introducing Paul to the world of management, albeit on a shared basis. Not that Town’s co-manager had no prior experience. Whilst recuperating from his second cruciate ligament injury in quick succession, Stoneman almost unwittingly whetted his appetite for the other side of the game. “I had a lot of time just sitting around, and the manager asked me, would I like to

help out the youth team while I was injured. I said I’d give it a go, and three or four months later into my rehab, we’d had some half-decent results, and I was enjoying coaching the kids,” he explained. “They asked me if I’d like to do it full-time, and just help out playing as and when needed. I thought I’ll take that; as I said, I’d made a lot of friends at Halifax, so I took up that opportunity, and seen a couple of lads break through into the first team. It was quite rewarding and I did enjoy it.” Approaching what seemed to be the twilight of his career, the stalwart returned to his native North-East, flirting with coaching roles and short-term stints as a player, but Allotment was always in the back of his mind. “I applied for the job a couple of times before I actually got it. I think it is a little bit of a coming home thing, I suppose. My dad played here for thirteen, fourteen seasons. I’m just happy I’m still playing and managing, two and a half years after getting the job.”

The keen player-manager’s first task was an unenviable one: to cushion the inevitable blow of relegation. “We were quite a way adrift. I think I had eight or nine games left, maybe ten, seven of which were against teams that were pushing for top three positions in the league, so it was pretty much damage limitation. We came in and gave it our best shot. We had a couple of decent results, never got battered by anyone, but when we took over, we were doomed for the Second Division anyway.” The expected exodus followed, and the new boss - along with his erstwhile assistant Wilf Kielty and the recently appointed Paul Hogg - had to start almost from scratch. “We lost most of the players,” Stoneman sighed. “really, only Dunny and Penders stuck at it up until now. So it was a whole new shake-up. We ended up bringing a load of players in from the Wearside League and the Northern Alliance, not much

“In the second season, we were one defeat away from getting relegated into the Unibond. We stayed up, and

the following season we got promoted.”


Northern League experience.” Having spent many of his years away from the north’s non-league scene, Paul needed two able lieutenants alongside him, and he got exactly that. “I was with Wilf at Walker Central before we came to Allotment, so we’d spotted quite a few players in the Alliance anyway,” he said of his assistant. Hogg came a little later, following Allotment’s relegation to Division Two, but his hands-on style was welcomed to Whitley Park with open arms. “Obviously, he’s got his coaching badges and what have you, so that was invaluable as well.” To the casual observer, the trio’s first season in charge may look disappointing. The new-look side battled to seventh in the league - eleven points off the promotion spots, but ahead of North Shields and Northallerton. A top half finish with lower league players was nothing short of a minor miracle. “I think if somebody had said we’ll give you seventh position before the season starts, we’d have taken it,” insisted the player-manager. “It was always going to be a rebuilding process that season, and as it happened, the team knitted together really well and fairly quickly. The points we threw away, we could’ve even finished higher than seventh.” The 2012/13 campaign started far more positively than that which preceded it, only for a slew of devastating results to bring the boys back down to earth with a rather firm bump. A minor goalkeeping crisis and

a smattering of poor performances across the pitch culminated in a 7-1 thrashing away at Ryhope, with some too ashamed to collect their pay packets afterwards. Yet Stoneman kept the faith for another two months - before a routine home tie against Darlington Railway Athletic almost brought the curtain down on his tenure in a somewhat unexpected manner. “I think I actually sat down with the players, and didn’t threaten to leave, but sort of said to them - the committee might not even know this - look, I think I’ve probably taken you as far as I can. To be fair, I said that that’s pretty much it for me now.” In the stifling despondency of the dressing room, Stona’s tenure looked to have come to a desperate and underwhelming end. Perhaps it would have done, were it not for some passionate (and possibly colourful) words from his right hand man on the playing field. “Dunny made a point of saying that we’ve got to get our fingers out, because we can’t lose these three,” referencing himself, Wilf and Hoggy. “So I took the weekend to mull over things, decided to stick at it for a bit longer, and as it happens, after that, we went on a run of 11 or 12 games unbeaten. So maybe it was the rocket that the lads needed, the threat of me, Wilf and Hoggy leaving, which gave us a bit of a kickstart. In hindsight, I’m really, really pleased that I didn’t make a drastic decision, because since then I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.”

Few moments would have been more enjoyable than the Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup victory over Northallerton; where, despite being controversially reduced to ten men, Allotment turned on the style when it mattered. “As a manager, it’s the best moment of my career to date,” he enthused, before lavishing praise upon the attitude of his cohorts. “I’ve been joint manager, and ran other teams, but with the group of lads that we’ve got, there’s not been one time where we’ve had any trouble off any of the players. For them to win something, it was fully deserved. They’re a fantastic set of lads, you couldn’t wish to manage and coach any other players, I wouldn’t swap any of them for anyone. For them to win that Memorial Cup game...I was over the moon. I was absolutely delighted. The players, committee, management, supporters, everyone deserved it. It was a great run we went on, and we definitely deserved some silverware that season.” The cup win gave West Allotment a fantastic platform on which to build, and they have done exactly that, constructing what already looks to be a serious promotion challenge. Not only that, he’s done so on a shoestring budget. One could forgive Paul for casting envious glances in the direction of North Shields, Seaham or Jarrow, but Stoneman instead chooses to reflect on what he has at his disposal. “To be honest, since the start of

THE MANAGER

DID YOU KNOW?

“I said to them...I think I’ve probably taken you as far as I can. To be fair, I said that that’s pretty much it for me now.”


the season, I haven’t been looking to bring anybody else in,” he confidently admitted. “The only way I’d be looking to bring anybody else in would be like in the past few weeks, when we’ve had major injury troubles. I’m not looking to strengthen; when I’ve got all my players fit, I’m more than happy, and I won’t be looking anywhere else. I think the squad of players we’ve got, when everyone is fit, is more than capable of getting into the top three. But from now on in, we need everybody fit.” Hoggy will be readying the fabled cones as we speak. Few teams manage to make it through a full season with their first team intact from start to finish, something that Stoneman is all too aware of, even as early as October. The boss paid tribute to those more than able deputies, the Alex Nisbets and Roy Gordons of this world, for their exemplary attitudes. “We’ve got a squad of about eighteen or nineteen now, and they’re all more than capable of coming in and doing a job. There are lads who understand they’ll come in and play when we’re short, but those lads understand that, that they won’t be in the first team when everyone’s fit. That’s what you need, players like that as well.” Many of those players, including the likes of Marc Allen and Simon Wilthew, have arrived at Whitley Park by virtue of playing Sunday football with good mates from Allotment. Does Soccer Sabbath help to improve club connections and team bonding, or is it an unnecessary risk for a semi-professional footballer to take, particularly in the midst of a selection crisis? There’s no doubting which side of the fence Paul Stoneman is on. “Playing on a Sunday? I hate it! I know they get to know each other if they play for the same clubs and what have you, but as far as I’m concerned, Sunday morning is just a massive hindrance to Saturday afternoon football.” Stona used the ill-timed injury of one of his goalkeepers to illustrate the point. “Chris Bannon there has got injured playing for his Sunday pub team, and could be

out from four to six weeks, and it could even be longer. Chris has been absolutely excellent this season, but that’s just a little example. I wish the lads didn’t do it. I know they do it because they enjoy it and they love playing football, and I could never stop them doing that, we’re not in a position to put players on contracts to stop them playing Sunday football. I know it’s always going to happen, but it’s something I don’t like!” One player who’s fitness is rarely in question is Paul Stoneman himself. He appeared more times than any other player for Celtic last season - perhaps aided by the fact that he quite literally picks himself! - but has always insisted that this year would be his last as a player. That said, he continues to bely his age with a series of impressive performances. Could this, coupled with the neverending list of injuries incurred by his fellow centre-halves, convince him to keep playing? Even he’s not sure. “Oh, God! I would say no at the minute, but you never know. I feel really fit. Football is my life, and you’re a long time finished playing. As long as I can keep doing a job on there, I’ll keep playing. But I would like to establish another centre-half partnership if I could, because I know I can’t play forever. But I just feel like if I’m playing at the back...I don’t know. (I’m) just organising, really.” Looking at the other candidates for his position, it is evident that Allotment are well stocked for the foreseeable future, barring another spate of afflictions. “Stephen Little has had an excellent season, Player of the Year last season, but he’s never had a regular partner alongside him apart from myself. It’s going to take time to bed somebody else in, but we’re on the lookout. We’ve signed young Nisbet,

who looks like a good player as well. Glenn Ford has picked up a hernia, so he’ll be out for a while. I think I’ll just take this season and see how it goes. I did say I was going to hang my boots up, but...I’ll still say that for now, but you never know!” After two and a half years at the helm, Stoneman has got West Allotment moving in the right direction. The football is good, the attitude is promising, and the results are going our way. The rebuilding process is practically complete. “I’m more than happy with the squad I’ve got now,” beamed the boss. “I think that the club now, on and off the field, is in a steady position. On the field, we’re as stable as we have been. I think I’ve got the squad to kick on - we’ve gelled now, we’ve had enough time, working with each other, playing with each other.” The form books have Allotment pencilled in as early frontrunners, even if that perception is not necessarily shared across the region, but Paul insists there is plenty more to come from his fledgling contenders. “We have started really well this season. Points-wise, we’ve started really well. I still don’t think we’re firing on all cylinders. I still believe that once we do click, one day, someone’s going to get a good hiding. Hopefully it’s sooner rather than later. We’re on course to finish in the top three, so as long as we can keep that up, and keep improving - and we will keep improving - we’ll be there or thereabouts.” The team that featured his father is often considered by the son to be the “team of the eighties”. With a little luck and plenty of application, Allotment could well become one of the teams of this decade, with another Stoneman serving as its lynchpin, on or off the field.

Paul Stoneman is not just the oldest member of our squad (and by a full nine

years, no less); he also topped the appearance charts for the last campaign, starting an

incredible 46 games for Allotment between August and May. He

missed just nine games in all competitions -

not bad for a 41-year-old!

DID YOU KNOW?

“I think I’ll just take this season and see how it goes. I did say I was going to hang my boots up, but...I’ll

still say that for now, but you never know!”


JUST ONSIDE

JUSTOnsidePICTURES, JAPES AND SPURIOUS STORIES

FROM THE ALLOTMENT GRAPEVINE

Stoneman puts hernia on Christmas wishlist

Looking on as both of his centre-halves took turns on the table, player-manager Paul Stoneman has pencilled in a hernia operation of his own - but will have to wait until at least January before going under the knife. With sports hernias the latest craze amongst defenders, first Little and then Ford beat their boss to the punch, treating themselves to weeks of steadily increasing pain, before indulging in a spot of hospital food and a spell on the sidelines. “Naturally, I’m not over the moon about it,” conceded a fully fit Stoneman. “I’ve been hankering after a hernia for a while, but the other lads have been working on theirs for months. Fordy should be back around the festive period, so I’m hoping to pick one up before then.” Alex Nisbet has been drafted as cover, on the off chance that another stopper is crocked before schedule - but has been told in no uncertain terms that he has to perform well before earning a hospital-worthy injury.

Brothers inferm: The recovered Stephen Little wheels Glenn Ford in for his hernia op

Backworth & Newbiggin-by-the-Sea

SPOT THE BALLWhere is Allotment’s captain fantastic Ian Dunn heading the pigskin? Answer across

the page.

THE SNAPThe delightful moment that Kallum McGlen celebrated his first ever competitive goal for West Allotment - 376 days after his debut, and after approximately 1,964 minutes of play. His odds for top scorer at the season’s end have tumbled from 5000/1 to 4700/1, with specials on how many times he strikes the woodwork this year!

DORMA IS RARELY

John helps Allotment to good win against Birtley. As a treat, takes me for slap up meal at Carltons Feed Merchants on the back of his quad bike. It’s been closed for an hour, so have to make do with a foul tin of Asda’s Hero food and some imitation beef Schmackos.

Disappointed to learn that John’s shinpads taste much like his legs. Three hours of graft wasted.

Take John collar and shinpad shopping around Blakelaw. Don’t approve of his choice of collar, black leather with too many rings on it, but at least I’m not the one wearing it. Buy two pairs of shinpads - one for me to chew, one for him to chew. Good day out until John chases a bus on his quad and gets arrested for speeding.

John leaves an inadequate number of treats while he’s out at work, so I defecate all over the floor. That’ll teach him. In the evening, assess the rear end of the neighbouring dog. Not impressed with the attitude of some of the other walkers.

Productive day shredding all of John’s favourite clothes, before Allotment v Tow Law in the evening. Spend most of the night checking out Christine’s dog. John barks at some of the away fans, before trying to playfully maul one the Tow Law midfielder. Stona recommends the cage if behaviour doesn’t improve, but he’s learned how to get out by himself. Only choices left seem to be muzzling or rehoming. One right-back, toilet trained, looking for loving club.


12th

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13th

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shtaffy’s notesThe diary of JOHN PENDLEBURy’s canine minder

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(own) GOAL OF THE SEASON CONTEST HOTTING UP

Muted celebrations of the well-taken goals

TWo strikes from unlikely scorers have emerged as early contenders for the prestigious (own) goal of the season award.

Simon Wilthew was first to strike at home to Esh Winning, rising unmarked to thump a header past Ryan Beal, guaranteeing a point for Allotment in the dying minutes. Not wanting to be outdone, Marc Allen went one better against Whitehaven, racing onto a square ball and prodding in to send the home fans into raptures.

Whilst both stunning finishes currently lead the way, still another six months for current holder Stephen Little to step up, with his looping first-time finish against Jarrow Roofing last year still strong in the memory.

THE ANSWER

26 THREE MILES WEST AUGUST 2013

OVERSHOT PHOTOGRAPHS

For every good image of an Allotment player in action, there are another 450 pictures that are blurred, out of focus, or obscured by the linesman’s touchline walkabouts. When quality snaps are in short supply, the photographer* often needs to fall back on the tried and tested shots. Here are the five most frequent...

5. THE HANDSHAKESThe easiest and most conventional of shots. The players move along the line and shake hands at a comparatively pedestrian speed - slow enough for most cameras - making it an ideal photo opportunity for the Press Officer on a budget. These images can even be taken in low light and poor conditions, conveniently covering up the fact that no other pictures were taken on the day/night.

4. THE GOALKEEPER KICKCapturing a fine goalkeeping save can often be a difficult and seemingly impossible task, owing to a long list of variables. The kick, however, is delightfully predictable and easy to follow in burst mode. Out of hand or off the floor, any and every punt can be caught on camera. This way, Beal and Bannon needn’t miss out on the photo frivolities - even if the images will only ever display the less glamorous aspect of their game.

3. THE HUDSON HOLD-UPBurly striker (and ever-improving winger) Liam Hudson has earned plaudits for his style of play, operating with his back to goal and slowing the play down. His upper body strength and hold up work allows his team to join him in the attack - but, more importantly, it allows the cameramen to train their lenses on him while he’s stationary. For taking the time to stand still and pose for shots, Liam has become something of a fan favourite. Amongst the fans with cameras.

2. FORD/STONEMAN/BELL HEADERIf the boys from Opta hauled their data equipment to Whitley Park on a Saturday afternoon, they would find that, on average, Michael Bell wins 14.23 headers per game, with centre-halves Stoneman and Ford not far behind. Should the camera miss the first and second shots, or capture a rather unsightly (not to mention unpublishable) grimace, it’s not a problem; one of the headstrong trio will undoubtedly be throwing their faces at the imitation pig bladder within minutes.

1. THE GOAL CELEBRATIONUnless the goal comes from a dead ball situation (which, incidentally, just failed to break into this top five), the perfect goalscoring moment is rarely immortalised on digital memory. Tracking the ball moving at pace, whilst getting both the scorer and the goal frame in shot, is more than a little tricky. Snapping the ensuing celebratory huddle of bodies is not - see Issue One for more details and examples. It’s a poor (camera)man’s substitute for the strike itself. Thankfully, Allotment tend to be at their most prolific from set-pieces.


TOP FIVE

* This does not reflect upon the fine work of Graeme Jackson - one of the division’s finest snappers - but on the shoddier photographic work of others at the club, namely our Press Officer. Holystone Farm, Holystone, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, NE27 0BZ

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Pump Stations Sewage Treatment Chemical Storage Tanks

three miles west - issue five

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