1

DISCLAIMER

The jokes collecTed in This e-book are conTribuTed by people all around The world. we are claiming no copyrighT on mosT of The individual jokes found in This e-book. mosT of Them are, To The besT of our knowledge, in The public domain. iT is possible ThaT some of The jokes wiThin The collecTion are acTually copyrighTed. if There is any unfair misuse of copyrighT in This e-book, iT was noT willful. conTacT supporT@TinTumon.com and we will remove iT.

This collecTion is copyrighT © 2009 by TinTumon.com. all righTs reserved. we are noT claiming This for The jokes on This book. we are claiming an “ediTor’s” or “collecTion” copyrighT.

1Ambalam

Tintumon: I love u…

girl: kaalil cherippu undu..

Tintu: “Ente hridhayam AMBALAM alla… kayari ponnolu……!!

Tintumon aaaaaaara mon !!

2Kalyanam

Mintumol: “I love u”

Tintumon: “I love u too”

Mintumol: “Namukku kalyanam kazhikkam”

Tintumon: “Pakshe aru nammale kalyanam kazhikkum???”

3Wrong answer

Teacher: “If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?”

Tintumon: “Wrong answer”

4Why boys chase girls ?

Tintumol: Ningal boys enthina girls-ne chase cheyyunnathu. Ningalkkavare Marry cheyyan plan illenkilum.

Tintumon: Pattikal car-inu pirake odunnathu car odikkanano ?

5Pathra vayna

Pathrathile vartha Tintu mon ingane vayichu: ”Ayyayo K V sebastian Pottitherichu”

Achan: Manda !! nokki vayikku “110 KV substation Pottitherichu enna”

6No freeze liquid

Teacher: ‘Freeze aakatha oru liquid-nte peru parayoo’

Tintumon: ‘Chooduvellam’

7Punishment

Tintumon:”Cheyyaatha kaaryathinu enne shikshikkumo teacher?”

Teacher:”Orikkalumilla.”

Tintumon:”Nalla teacher, njan homework cheythittillaa!!”

8Track suit

Tintumon was chasing a donkey. But he couldnt catch that. After sometime he saw one zebra on the way.Tintumon caught the zebra and told: “panni track suit ittal njan nine pidikilla ennu karuthiyo?”

9Best husband

Three Malayali Couples in a Restaurant….

Couple 1 : Husband: “aa sugar ingeduthe Panjare….”Couple 2 : Husband: “aa liver ingeduthe Karale………”

Upon hearing the above conversation, the third couple started…….

Couple 3: dundu mol : kandille manushya, avarudeyokke sneham. Angane venam bharthakkanmar aayal!

Then,Couple 3: Tintumon : aa beef ingeduthe Pothe..!!! :) ))

10Maths Proof

Exam Qn:IF 2(l+b)=P;Prove that 4b=P.

Tintumon :2(l+b)=P2(ell+b)=P2(bone+b)=Ptaking ‘b’ comon2b(one+1)=P2b(2)=P4b=P!

Tintumonoda kali

11Interview

malayalam pareeksha ezhuthikondirikkunna tintumon

qn: prashastha kavayathri Sugathakumariyumaayulla oru abhimukham ezhuthuka

tintumon inganne ezhuthi…..

Njan: namasth teacher. njan teacherumaayi oru abhimukham nadathaan vanathaanu

Sugathakumari: samayamila mone..poyittu pinne varu.

Njan: shari teacher

kali tintumonnodo???

12Tharavattil Pirannavan

tintumon :amme njan enganeya undayathu?

amma:mone nee vellapokkathil ozhukivannatha

tintumon:appol ammayum achanum appooppanum enganeya undayathu?

amma:njangalum vellapokkathil ozhukivannatha

tintumon:appol evide tharavattil piranna otta orennam ellalle

13Cheetha koottukar

Oru divasam achan tintumonodu: “da nee innale kudichu bodham illathe aanu vannathu..enthadaa ithu”..

tintu: ”ellaam cheetha koottukettukal kaaranama achaa..!! aake 5 beer, 5 koottukaar.., athil 4 perum kudikkilla ennu vechaal pinne njan enthu cheyyanaa..!!!. :) “

14Pootum Thakolum

Tintu mon in super market

tintu:Chetta kalikkudukka undo?sales man:illatintu:ice cream undo?sales man:illatintu:chocolate undo?sales man:illatintu:pootum thakolum undo?sales man:undutintu:enna shop pootti veettil poykkude

15Tajmahal

Teachr: “Bharya’yude ormakayi shajahan‘TAJ MAHAL’ panithu”...Tintum0an: Alla, njan onnu chothichotte ,iyaal ithra valiya maravikaaran aayirunno ?

16Complan

Kaattiloode nadannu pokunna Tintumon marathil thoongi kidakkunna paampine kandappol paranjathu enthu??.....“Veruthe thoongi kidakkaathe mummy odu para complan vaangitharaan!” ;)

17Convert

Teacher: convert the following sentence to malayalam. ” I SAW A FILM YESTERDAY”

Tintumon: Teacher innale ‘A’ padam kandu.

18Passive Voice

teacher: Write the passive voice of ” I made a mistake”

tintumon: ” I was made by a mistake”

19Poor models

FTV kanukayayirunna achante adukal vanna tintumon FTV noki achanod” acha avarentha cheriya dress darichirikunnath..?”Achan: ” avar pavangalayath kondanu..

tintumon: ” ivarekalum pavangal vannal ennod parayanam acha please “

20History class

Tintumon history classinu munpu prarthikunnathu kanda teacher

teacher: ithu nalla oru sheelamanu. nee entha prarthiche?

tintumon: ente amma paranjittundu urangunnathinu munpu prarthinkanam ennu.

21Smart answer

Teacher asks !!!children what do u wish to in future?

Vinod–I want to be doctor,Deepa–I want to be a good mother.Tintumon– want to help deepa.

22aaril anju

MATHS TEACHER: ”Aaril anju poyal enth kittum?”

TINTUMON: “Anjuvinte dead body kittum, karanam avalku swimming ariyilla…!!

23Tintumonte guest

Veettil virunnu vanna penkutti kulikkunnath olinju nokkukayayirunna Tintumonod Amma: Enthada ee kanikkunnath

Tintumon: Chee.. mindalle. Aval nammude soap edukkunnundonnu nokkuvaa..

Tintumonoda kali..

24

Kaalu potti Hospitalil stich idan chenna tintu.Fees Ethrayakum?Doctr: 1500 rsTintu:veruthe 2 stich itta mathi,embroidary work onnum venda.

Fee

25Interview

Actress: Tamililekkulla ente praveshanam pettennayirunnu.

Tintumon: Athayirikkum vendathra thuni edukkan pattathirunnath alle..!!!

26I love you

UKG’il padikkunna tintumonodu, LKG’il padikkunna pappymol:”I LOVE YOU DA”

Tintu mon: “Pha dash mole, Mottennu viriyatha ninne kittiyittu njan enthu cheyyana…”?

27Eduthal pongathathu

Cigarette valichukondu pokunna Tintumone kanda palliyilachan: “Eduthaal pongaathathaanalloda ninte chundathu?”

Tintumon: “Eduthaal pongaathathukonda acho.. valichukondu pokunne!!”

28Tintumon & Kallan

Tintumonte veettil kallan keri.

Ithu kanda Tintumon:“Ente bagum bookum koodi kondu poda,illenkil njan ellavareyum vilichunarthum”

29

Teacher: ‘When was Rome built?’

Tintumon: ‘At night, sir.’

Teacher: ‘Who told you that?’

Tintumon: ‘You did, sir. You once said that Rome was not built in a day.’

Rome

30Rocket

Breaking news

Chandranil vellam matramalla thimingalam,kadalaama,sravu thudangiya jeevikalum ullatay kanunnu-NASA

Tintumon: Pavam..NASAKu ariyillallo ROCKET Arabikadalil veena karyam

31Bio practical exam

Tintumon attended bio practical exam..Examiner: Tell the bird name by seeing leg..Tintumon: I dont know..Examiner: u fail..Whats ur name ?.Tintumon: See my leg & tell.

32Exam barcode

Tintumon examil onnum kittathayappol peparil

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Ithu pole barcode varachittu adiyil ezhuthi“Scratch gently to read the answer “

33

Duttumon: “My girlfriend is an angel”

Tintumon: “You are lucky aliya. Ente girlfriend ippozhum jeevanode undu”

Girlfriend

34

Thengil ninu veena achanumayi hospitalil ethiya tintumonodu

Dr: oru 5 min. mumpu ethichirunengil rekshapeduthamayirunu.

Tintumon: thengenu onnu veenu kittende doctor.

Achanum thengum

35fibre content

Tuttumol: Arinjo? oru nalla diet-lu dharalam fibre undakanam.

Tintumon: Athinentha thega thinnal pore .

Tuttumol: Thegayil high fibre content aano?

Tintumon: Pothikathe kazhichal mathi.

36thermodynamic law of romance

Tintumons thermodynamic law of romance:“Luv can neither be created nor be destroyed. It can only be changed from one girlfriend to another with considerable loss of money”

37Geography

Teacher: “Tintumone.. ithavanayum ninakku geography-kku motta poojyam aanu. Ne entha geography padickathe ?”

Tintumon: “Achan parayarundu. Lokam anudhinam marikondirikkukayanennu. Lokam onnu settle aayikkotte. Ennittu padickam !”

38GIRL FRIEND

TINTU MON:eda enik avale marakkan pattunnilla

FRIEND:athrayku ishtamanenkil ninte veetil para

TINTU MON: Parayaam……..U.K.G. result varatte

39Railway

Train nirthiyapol yathrakaran tintuvinod: ithetha station…??

Tintumon windowilude purathek thalayitt nokiyitt: Railway station aanenn thonunnu…!

40Mark

Mash: adutha pareekshakku nee 75% mark vanganam.Tintumon: njan 100% mark vangum.Mash: thamaasha parayallee…

Tintumon: Nayinte mone, aara aadhyam thamaasha paranjathu?

41Appopan

Tintumon: Apoppan endha urangukayano?

Amma: Alla mone apoppan marichu. Nammal kozhiye okke kollumbol athu chaville?.. athu pole..

Tintumon: Appam Eppazha kari vekkunne!!

42Dineshan

Teacher :What is the name of Gandhiji’s son?

Tintumon: Dineshan

Teacher :Why?????

Tintumon : Mahatma Gandhi is the father of di-neshan

43Progress report

Tintumonte Achan: Ninte progress report evideyada ?

Tintumon: Athu njan Ramuvinu koduthu.

Achan: Athenthinada ?

Tintumon: Avanu avante achane pedippickana…

44Correction in Sentence

Tintumon: Can I go to the toilet?

English Teacher: Tintumon, MAY I go to the toilet?

Tintumon: But I asked first!

45Proposal

Innocent Proposal from tintumon(UKG-B) to Minimol(2-A)Tintumon: i luv u…Minimol: chi..poda,i’m elder than uTintumon: i’m madly luving u…Minimol: poda…Tintumon: chechi chechi pls…

46Census

Panchayathil ninnum kanakku edukkan vanna udhyogasthan Tintumonte veetil ethi.Udhyogasthan: Mone ee veetil Kakoos undo?Tintu: Undallo..Udhyogasthan: Sheri, Kinar undo ?Tintu : Manassilayi!!..uncle vegam chennirunnolu..avide pipe-um bucketum undu.

47Tintumon and His father

Tintumon thante puthiya toy bus’umayi :“drrrr…pee pee pom..Stop!Ella thendikalum irangiko.Eni kayaraanulla kazhuverikal kayaru.Puvam rite..drrr..Kayari nilkada pulle.drrr..”Ithu shradicha tintumonte achan sahikettapol bus edthu maati.5 mintolam tintumon karanjapol achan bus thirichu kodthu..Tintumon:“drrr pee pee pom pom..drrr.. Stop..!Vegam irangada pattikale,allengil thanne oru naayintemon karanam 5 minute late aayi..!!Puvam rite. tin tin……!!

48Chenda

Tintumon:”Acha, enikkoru chenda vaangi tharumo?”

Achan:”Venda, nee mattullavare upadravikkum.”

Tintumon:”Illa acha,njan ellaavarum urangikkazhinje chenda edukku..”

49Muthassi

Tintu: muthashi marichu leave venam

Teachar: ninte muthashi yalle 1 masam munp marichath

Tintu: muthachan veendum ketti !!

50With policeman

Tintu monum ,3 friendsum koodi cyclil Schoolil powukayaaayirunnu…

Oru Police’kaaran Kaikaatti….

Tintu : “phah….pullee.. Ippol Thanne 3 Per Aayi…

www.tintumon.com