tips for corporate american journalists rules, regulations, standards, practices! rules,...
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Tips forCorporate American
JournalistsRules,
Regulations,Standards,Practices!
Remember!Remember!• Never write or say anythingthat could be consideredoffensive by anyone…
• Journalists are supposedto be politiciansnot activists!
• “You can’t ever loseby smiling and nodding.”
• Never write or say anythingthat could be consideredoffensive by anyone…
• Journalists are supposedto be politiciansnot activists!
• “You can’t ever loseby smiling and nodding.”
Remember!Remember!
• Always wear suits and ties…• Otherwise normal peoplewill not trust or respect you.
• Being enslaved by conventionwill make your life much easier.
• Always wear suits and ties…• Otherwise normal peoplewill not trust or respect you.
• Being enslaved by conventionwill make your life much easier.
Remember!Remember!• Never feed starving childrenthat you photograph…
• Journalists are supposedto be vultures,not humanitarians.
• Never feed starving childrenthat you photograph…
• Journalists are supposedto be vultures,not humanitarians.
Remember!Remember!
• Having or expressing yourown opinions about anythingis a sure-way to get fired…
• “We can’t afford another lawsuit.”
• Having or expressing yourown opinions about anythingis a sure-way to get fired…
• “We can’t afford another lawsuit.”
Remember!Remember!
• Never disagree with your editorif you know what’s good for you…
• “You can’t wina fight with your boss.”
• Never disagree with your editorif you know what’s good for you…
• “You can’t wina fight with your boss.”
Remember!Remember!
• Make sure everythingyou write or photographis as mediocre and blandas possible…
• “We’re on deadline, buddy!”
• Make sure everythingyou write or photographis as mediocre and blandas possible…
• “We’re on deadline, buddy!”
Remember!Remember!
• You’d rather do a story on STDsthan about sports?
• Absolutely not,sports SELL papers!
• You’d rather do a story on STDsthan about sports?
• Absolutely not,sports SELL papers!
Remember!Remember!
• Don’t forget:“Journalism is a business!”
• Making your newspaper moneyis more importantthan actually helping people!
• Don’t forget:“Journalism is a business!”
• Making your newspaper moneyis more importantthan actually helping people!
Remember!Remember!
• Don’t you dare ask for a raise!!!
• $18,000 a year is a lot of money…
• (in communist China).
• Don’t you dare ask for a raise!!!
• $18,000 a year is a lot of money…
• (in communist China).
Remember!Remember!
• Gannett, News Corp, Time-Warner…
• It’s your job to be poor,so that they can be rich!
• Gannett, News Corp, Time-Warner…
• It’s your job to be poor,so that they can be rich!
Remember!Remember!
• Don’t ever question the methodsof your newspaper’s advertisers…
• Don’t ever break any bad newsabout the advertisers…
• “They pay your bills!”
• Don’t ever question the methodsof your newspaper’s advertisers…
• Don’t ever break any bad newsabout the advertisers…
• “They pay your bills!”
Remember!Remember!• For those who criticize newspapersfor not doing enough storieson relevant social issueslike homelessness or poverty…
• Kindly remind themthat the homeless and poordon’t buy newspapers.
• For those who criticize newspapersfor not doing enough storieson relevant social issueslike homelessness or poverty…
• Kindly remind themthat the homeless and poordon’t buy newspapers.
Remember!Remember!• For those who ask whywe don’t do more storieson issues surrounding minorities…
• Kindly remind them that stories surrounding middle and upper-middle class white Christian suburbanites are more important to newspapers because…
• there is more of them and…• they buy more papers.
• For those who ask whywe don’t do more storieson issues surrounding minorities…
• Kindly remind them that stories surrounding middle and upper-middle class white Christian suburbanites are more important to newspapers because…
• there is more of them and…• they buy more papers.
Remember!Remember!• Cover all international issues withthe most narrow-minded, xenophobic,and nationalistic perspectiveas possible…
• Especially on issuesconcerning brown people,like Mexicans or Palestinians.
• Cover all international issues withthe most narrow-minded, xenophobic,and nationalistic perspectiveas possible…
• Especially on issuesconcerning brown people,like Mexicans or Palestinians.
Remember!Remember!
• What do you meanyou don’t likebeing spied onby the NSA?
• Then SURELYyou must have something to hide!
• What do you meanyou don’t likebeing spied onby the NSA?
• Then SURELYyou must have something to hide!
Remember!Remember!
• Don’t everchallenge the government!
• Big Brotherdoesn’t appreciate dissent.
• Don’t everchallenge the government!
• Big Brotherdoesn’t appreciate dissent.
Remember!Remember!
• Do what you’re told to do…• Say what you’re told to say…
• Be who you’re told to be…• Live in a fucking-cave.
• Do what you’re told to do…• Say what you’re told to say…
• Be who you’re told to be…• Live in a fucking-cave.
American Journalism
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