tma world viewpoint 37: how to resolve conflict in the workplace

How to resolve conflict in the workplace

© Transnational Management Associates Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

2 2


Let’s cut to the chase.

Conflict is an inevitable

part of life.

We either cause it or

are victims of it.


3 3


Whether it’s at home

or in the workplace,

conflict can erode

relationships, spread to

others who were not

originally part of the

conflicting situation

and cause so much

disharmony,

that business is

adversely affected.


4 4


Let me shoot some facts at you, which will hopefully

whet your appetite to know how to tackle

conflict head-on

1

Unresolved conflict represents the largest reducible cost in many businesses, yet it remains largely unrecognized

2 The total value of lost work time due to stress is estimated to be $1.7 billion


5 5


3

Chronic unresolved conflict acts as a decisive factor in at least 50% of departures. Conflict accounts for up to 90% of involuntary departures, with the possible exception of staff reductions due to downsizing and restructuring

4 Up to 30% of a typical manager’s time is spent dealing with conflict

If you are a manager – the last fact is a scary statistic and really underlines the need to get a better grip on dealing with

conflict.


6 6


With this in mind, let’s take a look at

some golden rules when approaching conflict

and the first top tip is this:

Conflict doesn’t

necessarily have to be a

bad thing!


7 7


This piece of enlightenment should be embraced as most of us invariably shy away from conflict or relish the prospect of going toe-to-toe with our nemesis. We’ll consider this passive or aggressive stance a little later. For now, understand and accept this simple truth…


8 8


It’s not the conflict that’s the problem, it’s the way we deal with it that is. If you see conflict as an opportunity that presents a chance to enter into good dialogue, then you’re half-way there. This positive attitude really does make a difference psychologically and will subconsciously spread to all those involved.


9 9


STRATEGIZE

Managers who are adept at dealing with conflict often make it look easy.

What is it about their laid back, self-confident and approachable demeanour?

Consider these three steps:

Diagnose the

Problem

Strategize for it

Solve it

1 2 3

So let’s consider what each stage entails…


10 10


STRATEGIZE

Rest-assured, under that veneer of calm – there lies an individual who has invested time studying the magic of interpersonal effectiveness.

Good managers make it look easy because they have put all the right mechanisms into place in the first instance.

Consider these three steps:

Diagnose the

Problem

Strategize for it

Solve it

1 2 3

So let’s consider what each stage entails…


11 11

Firstly, it’s critical to understand the conflict in the first place.

Ask yourself some questions:

What’s going on?

Why has this happened? Is there a history to this conflict?

Who are the main players?

How am I perceiving this conflict?

What is the balance of power?

What is the scope of the conflict now? What about tomorrow?

In what direction will the escalation go? Up, down, across or every which way?

1.

Diagnose the Problem


12 12

Managers who take the time to diagnose conflict have invested

their time wisely.

Having a better appraisal of the situation allows you to facilitate

the right dialogue.

1.

Diagnose the Problem


13 13

In the 1970s, Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann identified five styles of dealing with conflict.

They argued that people typically have a preferred style, ranging from a more assertive to passive style of conflict management.

They also noted that different styles were most useful in different situations.

They developed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument.

The styles are as follows:

2.

Strategize for it


14 14

2.

Strategize for it CO

OPERATIV

E

UN

CO

OPERATIV

E

ASSERTIVE

UNASSERTIVE

Competing

Collaborating

Avoiding

Accommodating

Compromising


15 15

People who have a preference for a competing style take a firm stance and know exactly what they want.

These individuals tend to operate from a position of power drawn from expertise or persuasive ability. This style can be useful when there is an emergency and a decision needs to be made fast, also when the decision is unpopular or when defending against someone who is trying to exploit a situation.

However it can leave people feeling resentful when used in less urgent situations and when applied for every situation.

2. Strategize for it

COMPETING


16 16

People who have a tendency to employ a collaborative style try to meet the needs and expectations of all individuals involved.

This style is useful when you need to bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution, when there have been previous conflicts in the group, or when the situation is too important for a simple trade-off.

However, one disadvantage is that the collaborative approach can be time consuming when trying to meet everyone’s needs.


COLLABORATIVE


17 17

People who prefer a compromising style try to find a solution that will at least partially satisfy everyone.

Everyone is expected to give up something and the compromiser him- or herself also expects to relinquish something.

This style is useful when the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground, when equal strength opponents are at a standstill and when there is a deadline looming. However, the disadvantage of compromising is just that. When you compromise you have to be prepared to sacrifice something.


COMPROMISING


18 18

With the accommodating style, you try to meet the needs of others at the expense of your own needs.

The accommodator often knows when to give in to others, but can be persuaded to surrender a position even when it is not warranted. This person is not assertive but is highly cooperative.

Accommodation is appropriate when the issues matter more to the other party. This is a nice style to use when you want to generate good will, but if you accommodate all the time, you will be taken advantage of.


COMPROMISING ACCOMMODATING


19 19

People who use this style tend to dodge the conflict entirely.

This style is typified by delegating controversial decisions, accepting default decisions and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.

It can be appropriate when victory is impossible, when the controversy is trivial, or when someone else is in a better position to solve the problem. However in many situations this is a weak and ineffective approach to take and if you choose to always employ this style, you’ll be perceived as weak and incapable of managing situations.


AVOIDING


20 20


The key to using these conflict management styles is by

understanding that if you predominantly use the same style all

the time, you’re probably using the wrong style, most of the

time.

A good conflict handler has the ability to flex their style,

knowing which one to use given the situation they are

confronted with.

This brings us to the third and final element of effectively

strategizing for greater conflict management.


21 21

This stage looks at actually having the conversation and that conversation could be structured in the following way:

3.

Solve it

1 Opening

2 Inquiry

3 Acknowledgement

4 An invitation to partner

5 Problem solving


22 22

Opening Offer a few of these openers and then ask for some input:

I need your help understanding what just happened. Can we talk?

I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.

I’d like to talk about…, but first I’d like to get your point of view.

3. Solve it

1


23 23

Inquiry 2 Get the facts and feelings.

Beware of assumptions, preconceptions and your emotion.

Be curious rather than furious. Learn about the other person’s point of view, how do things affect them, and what are their values and priorities?

Let the person talk until they’re finished. Don’t interrupt except to acknowledge. You’ll get your turn. Don’t rush. Whatever you hear, don’t take it personally.

3. Solve it


24 24

Don’t argue about who’s right, explore each other’s stories.

Arguing without understanding their perspective is unpersuasive.

When the person has expressed all their energy on a topic, it’s your turn.

What can you see from your perspective that they have missed? Help to clarify your position without minimizing theirs.

Draw the person into seeking a mutually beneficial solution.

3. Solve it

Acknowledgement

An invitation to partner

3

4


25 25

Problem solving When it comes to problem solving,

take the lead.

Ask the other person what they think would work.

Whatever they say, find something you can work with and build on.

If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to inquiry.

3. Solve it

5


26 26

Before we conclude this article on how to manage conflict, I mentioned that we’d consider the issues of passivity and aggression.

I’d like you to reflect on what your natural orientation would be.

You may well be a more aggressive individual, ready to stand their ground and not shy of getting into conflict.

Before we conclude

26


27 27

Conversely, you may find this uncomfortable – preferring to avoid conflict at all costs.

Neither position helps you deal with conflict. The only way to we effectively manage conflicting situations is to learn the skill of assertiveness.

Before we conclude

27

For it is a skill – rather than something we are born with.


28 28

You may argue that by being aggressive, you will get what you want.

Well – very possibly, but only in the short term and in the meantime you will build up a great deal of resentment from those you bully and cajole into doing what serves you best.

Before we conclude

28


29 29

Equally, passive people may keep their heads below the parapets and acquiesce when pressed – thus avoiding conflict, but ultimately they will be overburdened with tasks.

Effectively, they will become the proverbial office beast of burden.

Before we conclude

29


30 30

Being assertive will give you the

tools to cope with conflict far more

effectively.

Before we conclude

30


31 31

Specifically, if aggression equals

my needs are greater than your

needs and passivity equals

your needs are greater than my

needs, then assertiveness is my

needs are equal to your needs.

Before we conclude

31


32 32

In conclusion, adopting these

best practices will not

guarantee that you will gain a

favourable outcome each and

every time, but it will

guarantee that you have done

everything possible to have

better conversations and that

in itself, will make you feel

better about dealing with a

part of life that can cause so

much stress.

Conclusion By learning to be assertive, you’ll:

Avoid finger pointing

Do your part in fostering a blame-free culture

Communicate in a respectful way – thus initiating a respectful transaction of views

Be confident that you have conducted yourself in a professional manner.

32


33 33

Webinar Twitter Blog Viewpoints and articles

Publications Written by Terence Brake, Director of Learning & Innovation at TMA World. Our new Borderless Working e-book series

About Us

Visit

www.tmaworld.com/insights

to discover the latest

thinking from our experts

on global, collaborative,

cross-cultural and virtual

working. There you’ll find

links to our:

http://www.tmaworld.com/news-insights/webinars/

https://twitter.com/tmaworld

http://www.tmaworld.com/news-insights/blognews/

http://www.tmaworld.com/news-insights/viewpoints-articles/

http://www.tmaworld.com/news-insights/books/

http://www.youtube.com/user/TMAWorldVideos

http://www.linkedin.com/company/210855

http://www.slideshare.net/StevenParkinson


34 34

Above all we’d like to hear from you directly, so please don’t hesitate to send any comments, questions or feedback

to us at: [email protected]

Or visit our website:

www.tmaworld.com

About Us

Visit

www.tmaworld.com/insights

to discover the latest

thinking from our experts

on global, collaborative,

cross-cultural and virtual

working.

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.tmaworld.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/TMAWorldVideos

http://www.linkedin.com/company/210855

http://www.slideshare.net/StevenParkinson

tma world viewpoint 37: how to resolve conflict in the workplace

Business

transnational

rights reserved

stage entails

resolve conflict

problem solving

managers

greater

solution