tom gates: excellent excuses (and other good stuff) chapter sampler
TRANSCRIPT
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You get THREE
GOLD STARSfor readingthis book
(good choice).
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s p a r e
b o ot s
Vampire
SWAMP
mons
ter
Home
-
work
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Smile!
ByLizPichon
ExcellentExcuses(andother
goodstuff)
Includesaspecialgl
ossarybyTOM!
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This is a work of ction. Names, characters, places,
and incidents are either products of the authors
imagination or, if real, are used ctitiously.
Copyright 2011 by Liz Pichon
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information
retrieval system in any form or by any means,
graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including
photocopying, taping, and recording, without
prior written permission from the publisher.
First U.S. edition 2015
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 2014944793
ISBN 978-0-7636-7474-8
14 15 16 17 18 19 BVG 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in Berryville, VA, U.S.A.
This book was typeset in Pichon.
The illustrations were done in mixed media.
Candlewick Press
99 Dover Street
Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
visit us at www.candlewick.com
Tree
photograph
P.21court
esy
of
LilyPichon
Flannery.
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(Ho
meworksnacks)
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1
Wake up this morning and
suddenly remember something absolutely
BRILLIANT!
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Yeah
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3
I can forget ALL about less ons(and irritating things l ike
Marcus Meldrew). And concentrate
on GOOD stuff l ike:
Inventing new ways to annoymy sister, Del ia. (So many!)
Drawing pictures(that annoy Del ia) .
Watching TV andeating caramel wafers .
Eating carame l wafersand watching TV .
And most important . . .
Ha! Ha!
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4
-Band pract i ce for with Dere k
(whos my bes t mate and
next-door neighbor.)
Tonight were plann ing a s leepoverat his house. Which is easy to doas hes so close.
zzzzz
zzzz
Excellentchoice.
OK!
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5
One of the other great things about going toDereks is he doesnt have an annoying
s ister ( l ike I do) . . .
AND he has a dog cal led Rooster.
Which I know is a stupid name
for a dog, but Im getting used
to it (sort of) .
Sometimes Rooster can b ealmost as annoying as Del ia. Especial ly when
he wont s top
Occasional ly Dere k
throws him a to shut him up.
Woof
BARKING !
DoggyTreat
Yum!
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6
But if that doesnt work, I g ive him apair of D el ias s unglasse sto chew on. It keeps him happy
forHOURS .Right now I can hear Deliashuffl ing around outside my
bedroom (which usual ly means trouble) .
So I LEAN on my door to stop he rfrom barging in.
Somehow she st i l l manages tostick her head
around the door.
She says . . .
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Youre in trouble.
Mom wants to se eyou RIGHT NOW,
(That doesn t sound good . . . groan .)
I wish I cou ld shut Del ia up with a doggy
treat. How good would that be?
Ha!Ha!
DELIA
TREATS
SHUTSHERUP!
.
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8
When I see Mom, she s holding aletter from school . Im trying
real ly hard to
remember
ANYTHING Ive donethat might have gotten me into trouble.
No. . . cant th ink of anyth ing.Nothing at al l .
(I am innocent. )
But by the way
Mom is looking at me,
in that
What have you gotto say for yourself?
kind of way, I mu st have forgottensomething. She gives me the letter to read.
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9
OK, just remembered.
ToMr. andMrs. Gates
RE:TomGates D
ogAttack
Dear Mr.andMrs
. Gates,
I dohopethat Tom
hasrecoveredfro
mthevicious
dogthat attacked
himonthelast d
ayoftheterm
ashewalkedtos
chool .
What luckthat he
hadhis schoolbooktodefen
d
himself with.
Im SO gladit wa
sonlyhis homew
orkthat was
chewedandnot To
m.Enclosedis AN
OTHERcopy
of the HOMEWO
RKtoreview a
film/book/
TVshowforTo
mtocomplete aga
induringhis
holiday.
Lets hope there
are noother AN
GRY beasts
readytopouncei
nthefuture!
Manythanksfory
ourhelp.
Kindregards,
Mr.Fullerman
Class5FTeacher
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10
I am trying to explain to Mom whathappened to me by reenacting the
who le scene in s l ow motion.
(There was no choic e. . . . It was me or the
homework. )
But shes not impressed . I think shesuspects I might have made up the dog
attack (I d id. )
Instead I have to agree to:
1.Do my review homework (AGAIN).
2.Not use vic ious dogs as an excusefor lack of homework (or any otherG
rrrr
Grrrr
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kind of creature, for that matter.)
3. Clean my room. (Mom added that one. ) S
ti l l , at
least I have
to do the
review homework in .
Though I w i l l probably leave it unti l the las t
possib le moment, l ike the night before school .
That works for me.
Gotit.
Homework
Alien
Handoveryour
homework.Ifyouinsist.
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NOW?What do you mean I have to do my homeworkright now? I ve sti l l got
TWO WHOLE WEEKS!Mom says, Theres no time l i ke the present.Then she adds, No sleepover at De reks unti l
youve done your homework .
Which is a
DISASTER!
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I have to think of something to review quickly. Mmmmmmmmm.
Th ink . . . th in k . . . th ink . . . th ink . . .
th ink . . . .
If I dont think of something FAST
Mom wi l l k eep me in th e house
Then, just to add to the
, Derek phones up to
find out what time Im comi ng over for the
s leepover and band practice.
Ihear Mom saying ,That a ll dependson howlong it takes Tom to do
h is rev iew homework ,Derek .
(Thats ALL I need. )
when
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Mom think s I should go to my room tosit quietly and concentrate on getting it
done.
(Its not work ing. )
B L A N K
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So I do some drawing i nstead.
Its a lot more fun i nventing my own
characters . . . .
The ONLYthing I can th ink of that Icould review is the concert thatDad took me to. Its actual ly a BRILLIANT idea
becau se is amazi ng.
(Even Mr. Ful lerman is a fan. )
Suddenly my review wi l l be no problem at al l .
Dereks house , here I come.
Ha,Ha!THEBODGE
BROTHERS
Straw?
Rubbish at EVERYTHING
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I run downstairs and show it quickly to Mom.
There . . . al l done.
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I am busy pack ing a few essentialsfor Dereks hou se when
Dad comes up
to see me.
Apparently Momdoesnt think I am tak ing my review homework
serious ly. Dad says I have do it agai nPROPERLY .
Which is a b it HARSH . (OK, I admit myreview was short, but true . )
Dad suddenly holds up a packet ofwafers.
For the sleepover,
when youve done you r
homework again , OK?
WAFERS
ROCKWEEKLY
ROCKWEEKLY
SNAC
KS
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SUDDENLY I am VERY
In fact I have a TOTALto get my homework done in doub le-quick time.
(I am a genius . )
I rund o w n sta irs and grab
the first book from the shelf that
looks thick (but not TOO thick. ) Momsees that I am hold ing a BOOK and
assumes that:
TOM
(She looks p leased with me. )
WAVEBRAIN
THICKBOOK
SERIOUS ATTEMPTAT HOMEWORK.
SIGH
..
.
.
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The book Ive got is about . . .let me see . . .
TREESNever mind, that wi l l have to do. I can see
theres a lot of good stuff written on
the back of thi s book (and ins ide! ) that
wi l l he lp make my REVIEW seem veryimpress ive indeed.
Here goes .
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Homework FINISHED.
YEAH!
I tel l Mom and Dad, and they want me to
READ it to them.
What, NOW?Yes, Tom, now. Wed love to hear it.
(Which actual ly means just checking youve
real ly done it this time.)
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23
Del ia is lu rking in t he kitc hen, trying tol isten. So I sh ut the kit chen
door (in he r face) , then read
it as quic kly as I
can.
LUCKILY, my homework i sEXCELLENT (if I do say so myse lf) .
Mom and Dad are pleased and sl ightly
surpr ised Ive managed to write suchagood review SO quick ly. I let them see it
by WAFTINGit under the ir noses . . .
super fast.
(Must remember to hide the book on trees . )
SLAM
WAFT
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M om and Dad say well done for beingso FOCUSED.
Isay, It's al l due to
(Which is something Ive heard my teachers say.)
Then I add, Im actual ly VERY interested
in TREES. (I m not.)
This goes down real ly wel l and
stops Mom and Dad from asking me any more
difficul t quest ions .
GREAT!(I s hould s ay nic e stuff l ik e that more often. )
SOSWEET
."
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They are both in a good mood now, so Isuggest that another s ign of
would be to reward my hard work and
EFFORT with some
EXTRA
p o c k e t m o n e y ?
Which doesnt go down quite so wel l .
No chance .
(Worth a try, though. )
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26
S LEEPOVER
Derek is happy
Ive brought SNACKS.
But stupid ly, Ive forgotten to bri ng my
guitar for band practice. And farmore important, I ve left
my special teddy at home. (I dont tel lDerek becau se we agreed that Special Teddies
were probably a bit TOObabyish now thatwere in a band. )
ATDEREKS.
Yeah !
WRO
NG
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Lucki ly Dereks hou se is right next doorto mine. So I run back home to get them both.
Del ia is s itting in the frontgarden with her dodgyboyfriend, Ed(or Ted
or whatever his
name is ) . He says, All right, Tom?
(Which is nice and takes
me by surprise. ) Then Del ia shouts ,
Get lost idiot.(Which is not a surprise at al l . )Thats when I notice Ed and Del ia a reactual ly HOLDING HANDS. U
GH !
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Its
I feel a bit s ick and have to run into
the house quickly.
Igrab my guita r, teddy,
ANDa selection of
embarrassin g photos of Del ia that Ive been
saving for aVERY specia l occas ion .
I think this might be the SPECIALoccasion I ve been waiting for.
.
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Del ia w ith a potty onher head
Delia after cuttingher own ha ir withplay scissors
Del ia with scary
smi le
Del ia after I pushedher into the mud (mypersonal favorite)
Del ia with more badhair and zits
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Derek cant stop laughi ng at Del iasphotos.
We both agree that photos this
funny need to be shared with
OTHERpeople .
Other people l ik e
Del ias boyfriend, ED.
Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!
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(I have a good plan. )
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Tom Gates: Excellent Excuses
(and Other Good Stuff)L. Pichon
www.candlewick.com
http://www.candlewick.com/http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tom-gates-liz-pichon/1119987308?ean=9780763674748http://www.amazon.com/Tom-Gates-Excellent-Excuses-Other/dp/0763674745/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1409940854&sr=8-3&keywords=tom+gates+excellent+excuseshttp://www.indiebound.org/book/9780763674748http://www.candlewick.com/