Welcome toTools and Techniques

for Managing and Resolving Conflict

Amanda MurphyProject and Research Specialist,

The William D. Ruckelshaus CenterExtension Faculty, Washington State University

Phone: (206) 219-2409E-mail:amanda.g.murphy@wsu.eduwww.RuckelshausCenter.wsu.edu

Mission

• Neutral resource for collaborative problem solving

• Expertise that improves the availability and quality of voluntary collaborative approaches.

• Help public, private, tribal, non-profit and other community leaders work together, build consensus and resolve public policy conflicts.

• Advance teaching and research missions of the two universities by bringing real-world policy issues to the academic setting.

Services• Neutral Forum• Situation Assessment• Facilitation, Mediation, Conflict Resolution• Project Management, Strategic Planning• Applied Research • Information Portal• Training• Policy Discussions

Webinar Series

Session 1: Understanding and Responding to Conflict - July 18, 2012 Session 2: Effective Communication: The basis of conflict resolution - July 25, 2012

Session 3: A Framework for Problem

Solving - August 1, 2012

Where are you located?

What department/area do you work in?

What’s one thing you hope to learn from this session?

Session 1 Objectives

• Define Conflict

• Introduce Types of Conflict

• Introduce Conflict Styles

• Introduce Skills for Responding to Conflict and De-Escalating Emotions

What words come to mind when you think of the word “Conflict”?

What is Conflict?

Definition: A conflict occurs when two or more parties perceive that they have mutually incompatible values, priorities or goals.

Conflict Characteristics• Normal, inherently neither good nor bad

• Can be stressful and unpleasant

• Is a process, rather than a moment in time

• Rarely just about the content

• Does not have to result in winners and losers

• An opportunity for positive change

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. – Albert Einstein

Steps to Resolving Conflict

1. Understand the Conflict

2. Create a Positive Atmosphere

3. Develop a Mutual Understanding

4. Problem Solve

Causes of Conflict

Adapted from:Christopher Moore, The Mediation Process, Third Edition (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass), 2003.

Approaches to Conflict

Avoid

When this style is appropriate:•Issue is trivial•Cooling off period is needed•Timing is wrong

When this style is not appropriate:•Issue is important and conflict will not disappear, but instead continue to get worse

Accommodate

When this style is appropriate:•Maintaining the relationship more important•Issue is very important to the other person and not to you

When this style is not appropriate:•Issue is important to you•Lead to evading the issue when others are ready to address it

Compete

When this style is appropriate:•A decision needs to be made quickly•Agreed upon that power comes with position of authority•Unpopular decision needs to be made

When this style is not appropriate:•Losers are powerless to express themselves•Feelings are sensitive•Decision is not urgent

Compromise

When this style is appropriate:•A decision needs to be made sooner rather than later•Both parties are better off than attempting a win/lose

When this style is not appropriate:•Situation is urgent•Unbalanced power•Many important needs must be met

Collaborate

When this style is appropriate:•An important decision must be made•Situation is not urgent•Previous resolution attempts have failed

When this style is not appropriate:•The matter is trivial to all involved•Time, commitment and ability are not present

Which of the styles best describes the way you dealt with conflict?

What were the results of your chosen style?

Is there another style you would prefer to have used?

Why?

Competing•Low relationship•High Issue

•Win/lose power struggle

Avoiding•Low relationship•Low Issue

•Withdraw from the situation

•Maintain neutrality

Collaborating•High relationship•High Issue

•Expand range of possible options•Goal is win/win

Accommodating•High relationship•Low Issue

•Give in to other party•Maintain harmony

Compromising•Relationship undamaged•Goal is to find “middle

ground”

ASSE

RTIV

ENES

S

COOPERATIVENESSAdapted from Kenneth Thomas & Ralph Kilmann, 1974.

Conflict Approaches

Responding to Conflict

Video.

Think of a recent conflict. What emotion(s) did you feel?

In what part of your body do you experience these emotions?

What effect do emotions have on the outcome of a conflict?

Our Brain’s Response to Stress

Fight, Flight or Freeze ?Nature has designed us to react to

'danger signals' faster than conscious thought.

What Does an Emotional Person Want?

• To Vent• To Be Heard • To Be Understood• To Feel Cared About

De-Escalating Skills

CA2RE

• Control Yourself

• Attend

• Acknowledge

• Reflect

• Explore

Control Yourself

Before you can de-escalate someone else, you must first de-escalate yourself.

•Observe the Situation

•Observe Your Own Reaction

•Slow and Depend Your Breathing

•Relax Your Muscles

•Get Space or AssistanceTIP:

Simply Admitting to Yourself That You Are

Becoming Emotional Is the Biggest Step to De-

Escalating Yourself.

Attend

• Listen and Wait to Respond

• Let Them Vent

• Don’t Try to Tone Them Down

• Suspend Judgment

• Listen for Content and Feeling

• Open, Inviting Posture

• Verbal Acknowledgments

• Eye Contact (this is culture specific)

• Relax, Slow Breathing, Decrease Voice Volume

• Empathize and Validate• Apologize As Appropriate• Assure of Your Intent

Acknowledge

Reflect

• Reflect (What You Heard) Back Content and Feeling• “Let me check with you if I’m following. You

feel (state feeling) because (state content)…

Explore

• Explore and Clarify What You Didn’t Hear

• “I’m not clear on that: can you say more about that?”

• “So the main concern you have is…?• Keep Focused on the Issue

Summary and Close

Steps to Resolving Conflict:1.Understand the Conflict• Analyze the conflict situation – what is the

cause?• Identify the appropriate conflict resolution

style.2.Create A Positive Atmosphere• CA2RE – neutralize your emotions and the

other person’s emotions

Next Sessions

Steps to Resolving Conflict:

3. Develop a Mutual Understanding• Using communication skills to gain

information and understanding.

4. Problem Solve• Using the problem solving framework.