Transform your Relationships DVD series

drgrantmullen.com

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Welcome to the Transform your Relationships Study Guide

This guide will help you discover the key points in each DVD presentation. It is designed for both personal and group study. Each DVD ends with a time of corporate healing prayer. Encourage your group to participate in these prayers since this is the most important and life changing part of the presentation. There is no mandatory sequence required to watch the DVDs since each presentation can be easily understood by itself. Here’s a brief summary of each DVD. Freedom from Codependency Codependency exists when one or both partners are using their relationship to meet personal emotional needs of meaning and significance. I explain how common codependency is and how it damages relationships. Controlling Relationships I describe how controlling relationships develop when a person tries to force another to meet their emotional needs. You will learn how to recognize when domination, manipulation and control are infiltrating a relationship. Our Will, a testimony of healing. This is the story of our personal emotional healing journey. Kathy describes what actually happened to us and how God brought us through. She describes how God revealed her broken will and then restored it. This was the breakthrough event to her healing. Forgiveness, the gateway to freedom Kathy explains the most fundamental act in the healing journey. There is no personal emotional freedom without forgiveness. At the conclusion you can join Kathy in prayers that will change your life.

Personal or Group discussion questions

Use as many or as few as you like You can copy and distribute these pages with each DVD

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Freedom from Codependency

1. How do most of us choose our spouse? 2. Where did we get the desire for relationships? 3. Why did Jesus come to earth? 4. What are the characteristics of a healthy relationship?

5. What is codependency and why is it dangerous? 6. How do codependent people behave? 7. What might we learn in childhood that could make us codependent? 8. Where do we store our memories and lies that we believe about ourselves and others? 9. What is one of the most common causes of marriage problems?

4 10. What trap do Christian women easily fall into? 11. What are the 3 functions of families for children? 12. What are some dysfunctional family rules? 13. What lie did Adam and Eve fall for? 14. Adam went from God consciousness to what? 15. All humans are now born into what state? 16. Where do we commonly look to fill our love deficit? 17. Where should we go to fill our buckets and meet our emotional needs? 18. How did Jesus reverse Adam’s sin? 19. How can we be complete? 20. How did Jesus avoid becoming codependent? 21. Why can we now stop being frustrated with our spouse? 22. What idols have you created to meet your emotional needs? What are you going to do about them?

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Controlling Relationships

John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. 1. Why do humans like to be in relationships? 2. What is a Godly soul tie? 3. What is an ungodly soul tie? 4. What does an ungodly parental soul tie look like? 5. How does Satan use ungodly soul ties? 6. What weapons do we use to get our needs met? 7. How can we get all our emotional needs met? 8. How can we change unhealthy relationships?

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Our Will, a testimony of healing

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 1. Are you in a spiritual cycle? And in which part? 2. Describe times where God used circumstances to grow your character? 3. What are some signs that you are depending on someone to make you feel significant? 4. What counterfeits do we use to try and fill our love buckets? 5. Which of your relationships are giving or taking? 6. Where is the right place to fill our love buckets? 7. Are you “bent” to anything to fill your emotional needs?

7 8. What lies are you listening to that are keeping you in chains? 9. What are the symptoms of a broken will? 10. Are there situations where God is waiting for you to take action? 11. Are there areas where you are stuck in passivity? 12. What unexpected sources has God used to speak to you? 13. What do you need to work with God? 14. How can your will be restored?

Philippians 2:12-13 Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

15. Where should you look for affirmation, meaning and significance in your life? 16. Why can you be hopeful when in a time of brokenness? 17. Can you think of times in your life that God painfully intervened and it turned out to be a blessing? 18. What is the next step you will take in your transformation journey?

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Forgiveness, the gateway to freedom

Books Choosing Forgiveness by John Sandford Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall The Shack by William P. Young Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 1. How does God “sharpen” us? 2. Why is forgiveness so hard for humans? 3. Does forgiveness indicate approval or justifying what happened? 4. Does forgiveness require reconciliation? 5. How is forgiveness different from denial? 6. To forgive, what do we have to choose? 7. Who gets the benefit from forgiveness?

9 8. Doing the right thing can lead to what? 9. Do you have to contact the offender to forgive them? 10. Forgiveness begins with what step? 11. What are the characteristics of true forgiveness? Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 12. What does the Lord’s Prayer assume? Mark 11:25-26 When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” 13. What are the consequences of unforgiveness? 14. How can you tell if you have unforgiveness in your heart? 15. Why is it hard to forgive ourselves? 16. What is cheap forgiveness? 17. How can we make forgiveness a lifestyle? 18. What is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation? 19. Will you ask Jesus to give you the strength and courage to forgive?