Treating the Non-Offending Parent

By:Angelé Morgan, M.S.W., L.C.S.W.

Definition of a Non-Offending Parent (NOP)

• Any caregiver who ignores (directly or indirectly) the signs and symptoms of child abuse and neglect and fails to protect a child

Purpose of Treating the

Non-Offending Parent

This is accomplished through:

- Education- Guidance- Support

Family Safety

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What to Expect as a

Facilitator

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In The Beginning

Expect Resistance and Anger from the clients

- Non-Offending Parents feel judged by “the system” and “forced” to make quick decisions.

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During The Process

Some of the clients will not see the purpose of the treatment or engage in the learning process

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The Others

Will engage in treatment and actively learn

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Facilitator Challenges

Counter-Transference:

Our ability to listen and help a parent who fails to protect their child.

Client’s Right to Choose:

This class is particularly difficult for facilitators because, as hard as most of us try, we cannot understand how a parent would choose to be with an offender over their own child. So in order for the NOP’s to listen and learn from the facilitator there must be a non-judgmental and caring attitude going into each session.

Hearing this choice repeatedly can make it very difficult to stay motivated to help non-offending parents and to maintain the goals of treatment.

• Encourage parents to learn safety factors to protect their children

• Provide a better understanding and level of support for the parent’s current situation

• Help parents move out of denial

Goals of Treatment

Different Roles of the Non-Offending Parent

• Parent• Spouse/Partner• Victim• Offender (Neglect and Failure to Protect)

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What are some reasons a non-offending parent might be in

denial?

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FEAR

- Fear of having to choose between abuser and child

- Financial Fears

- Fear of facing their own past abuse

- Fear of being blamed or called a bad parent

Dynamics Associated with Non-Offending Parent

• NOP is grieving the loss of a relationship

• NOP may be a victim of past abuse themselves

• NOP may be feeling like a “bad” parent for not protecting his/her own child

• NOP may be in denial

• NOP may be jealous

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Outcomes for the Treatment of the Non-Offending Parent

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Measure the Concepts Learned

- Use a written test to measure what the non- offending parent has learned

- The facilitator offers recommendations to the referral source based on the non-offending parent’s participation, application of what they have learned (scenarios), and test scores

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Moving Forward

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Two Types of Reunification

• Reunification between the victim and the Non-Offending Parent

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Reunification steps when the victim is removed from the

home

Step1

Individual therapy session for the victim to discuss concerns related to returning home with the non-offending parent. The victim may want to make a list of questions for the non-offending parent to answer

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Step 2

Individual therapy session with the non-offending parent to address concerns and questions the victim has listed from step 1.

This session is to ensure the non-offending parent is not blaming the victim and is addressing the victim’s concerns appropriately

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Step 3

Family therapy session between the non-offending parent and victim to discuss the concerns and provide solutions which will ensure safety

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• Reunification between the victim and the abuser

Reunification Process Between the Victim and Abuser

No- Process stops

Does the victim want reunification?

Yes

No- Process stops

Has the victim completed counseling?

Yes

No- Process stops

Does the victims counselor agree that

victim is ready? Yes

No- Process stops

Does the abuser’s counselor agree

that abuser is ready? Yes

Reunification Process with Abuser

• Apology Session

• Clarification Session

• Family Safety Session

• Ongoing Family Sessions

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