Q: And so to our first contender. Good evening and can I have your name, please?

A: Ahgood evening.

Q: Your chosen subject was answering questions before they were asked. This time you have chosen to answer the question before last, correct?

A: Charlie Smithers.

Q: And your time starts now. What is palaeontology?

A: Yes, absolutely correct.

In order to get the funny script simply move all the answers down one box, to get the dialogue.

QuestionsAnswers

What is palaeontology?A study of old fossils.

What is the name of the directory that lists members of the peerage?Burkes.

Who are Len Murray and Sir Geoffrey Howe?Ones a trade union leader, the others a member of the Cabinet.

What is the difference between a donkey and an ass?Theyre both the same.

Complete the quotation To be or not to beThat is the question.

What is Bernard Manning famous for?Hes a fat man who tells blue jokes.

Who is the present Archbishop of Canterbury?The Right Reverend Robert Runcie.

What do people lean on in church?Hassocks.

What do tarantulas prey on?Large flies.

What would you use a ripcord to pull open?A parachute.

What sort of person lived in Bedlam?A nutcase.

What is a jockstrap?A form of athletic support.

For what purpose would a decorator use methylene chlorides?Paint strippers.

What did Henri Toulouse-Lautrec do?Hes a kind of artist.

Who is Dean Martin?Erm pass.

Yeswhat kind of artist?A singer

Thats near enough. What make of vehicle is the standard London bus?British Leyland.

In 1892, Brandon Thomas wrote what famous long-running English farce?Charlies Aunt.

Complete the following quotation about Mrs Thatcher her heart may be in the right place but her

What is palaeontology?

What is the name of the directory that lists members of the peerage?A study of old fossils.

Who are Len Murray and Sir Geoffrey Howe?Burkes.

What is the difference between a donkey and an ass?Ones a trade union leader, the others a member of the Cabinet.

Complete the quotation To be or not to beTheyre both the same.

What is Robert Motton famous for?That is the question.

Who is the current Roman Catholic Pope?He is a fat man who tells bad jokes.

What do people lean on in church?Pope Benedict XVI

What is a childrens party game originating in Spain?Hassocks.

What would you use a ripcord to pull open?A piata.

What sort of person lived in Bedlam?A parachute.

What is a jockstrap?A nutcase.

For what purpose would a decorator use methylene chlorides?A form of athletic support.

What was Anna Pavlovas profession?Paint strippers.

Who is Frances Greenscape?Shes a kind of artist.

Yeswhat kind of artist?Erm pass.

What make of vehicle is the standard London bus?A dancer

In 1892, Brandon Thomas wrote what famous long-running English farce?British Leyland.

Complete the following quotation about Mrs Thatcher her heart may be in the right place but herCharlies Aunt.

Good evening.Good evening.

What is your name please?___________

Your chosen subject was answering questions before they were asked. This time you have chosen to answer the question before last, correct?Yes, absolutely correct.

Who is the first ever African-American US President to be appointed?Barack Obama.

What inspirational film stars a crazy inventor who ________Up

Which member