tx citizen 5.14.15

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Future AG Throws Tantrum | Todd Snider Occupies Cheatham Street | Goodell's Stand

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table of contents

11Sports

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8CitizenSoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!

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6Feature StoryThe Todd Snider Interview

Last WordColby on Financial Coercion

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District Attorneys Office Overplays HandWe want to invite the Comal County DAs office over for poker night. After watching Salvador Mezas murder trial, and following the Justin Carter terrorist case as it winds its way through the system, its clear that the County overplays every high-profile hand its dealt.

Meza brutally attacked a fellow Canyon High School student with two violent punches that killed the victim, Logan Davidson. While it was not a fair fight it was clearly an ambush - there was no intent to kill, and despite what prosecutors argued, nobody expects two punches to a healthy teenager to result in death. If punches were truly that deadly, half of Americas bar fights, not to mention MMA events, would end with a visit from either a coroner or JP.

Besides, when a high school student decides to kill somebody, we all know they bring a trench coat and their moms unsecured gun.

The attack wasnt an accident, but the death was. A charge of murder was an over-the-top, political reaction to a horrific tragedy. Manslaughter was a pretty big stretch as well, because, despite prosecution arguments to the contrary, two hard punches are not generally deadly. This, just like the Justin Carter case to follow, is nothing short of grandstanding. Gotta prep for that run for Attorney General down the road.

Well present one piece of evidence to back up that claim. We dont need another:

Exhibit A - The DAs Press ReleaseTodays verdict highlights why my office fought to have the law followed in how the jury charge baas drafted and given to the jury. In his response to our petition for mandamus, Judge Stephens argued that the appellate court should decline to intervene based on the overzealous concern that

a Defendant might be convicted of a lesser offense of the aversion of a possible unjust acquittal. I believe that not only the State but every citizen should

have an aversion to an unjust acquittal because

and unjust acquittal means that a victim and his family de not receive the justice they deserve.

Unfortunately, Logan Davidson is gone and will never have the opportunity to graduate, get married, have children, and grow old. I hope that through it all this community doesnt forget the fun-loving boy Logan was. He was full of energy, full of life, and those fortunate enough to have known him will never forget him and his smile.

The Davidson family is distraught over todays verdict because it sends the message that this type of behavior equates to a black eye or bloody nose when their son Logan is dead. The Davidsons would tell you that had Logan survived this attack, he would have already forgiven his attacker.

The Davidson family wants to thank the NBPD and Comal County DAs Office for their tireless efforts in trying to ensure justice for Logan. We are very appreciative of the efforts on behalf of our family. We miss Logan tremendously and will for the rest of our lives. Logan was not a bully nor ever bullied his attacker contrary to the rumor and speculation on social media. All we had wanted was for Logans attacker to be held accountable for an action he decided to take, and todays verdict saddens us deeply. We feel it sends the wrong message to the young people in our community, and beyond, that a childs life is worth nothing more than a misdemeanor. We will refrain from any further media communications at this time as we need to work through this decision, said the Davidsons.

Continued on page 5.

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Special Moms for Special NeedsIf you had a family member with special needs, where would you go to get help? Who would you go to if you needed help paying for expensive equipment or treatments? Where would you go to find what resources were available locally to you and your loved one?

Did you draw a blank?Tanya Paniagua faced this very problem.

Trying to find aid for her disabled son, Mahkhi, Tanya discovered New Braunfels and Comal County greatly lacking in resources for those with special needs.

With little help available from local entities, Tanya set about to create the group Special Moms for Special Needs. Her goal is to educate parents and caretakers to the variety of resources available for their special needs family members and how to obtain those resources.

I started it last year because Mahkhi is a special needs child, Tanya said. He has 14 different diagnoses, the most severe of which is cerebral palsy, which keeps him from being able to walk or talk. Cognitively, however, he is completely there and understands. He passed his STAR Test with flying colors and makes straight As. Its just that, because of his disabilities, he is very limited to what he can do here.

For example, Tanya said, Landa Park has only one swing that is adaptable for wheelchairs. With few places in town accessible to Mahkhi, Tanya and husband Tony would have to travel elsewhere, an incredibly difficult endeavor.

Traveling would become overwhelming for all of us and that triggered me to want to change things, she said. I set out to meet other parents who had special needs children or adults, and we started the organization. Our goal is to offer activities, events and educational classes for parents once a month. We then decided to get other organizations to come and offer services here like recreational, music and equine therapy.

The result is the Resource Expo, put together by the Special Moms for Special Needs. The Expo brings in numerous groups that offer resources or show people how to get resources for those with special needs. At least

35 groups will be present, offering avenues to what therapies and medical devices are available, where to find funding sources, what educational opportunities are out there, and even the types of insurance coverage offered.

The Expo is put together to inform people about what kind of resources are here, or what out-of-town services can be made available here, Tanya said.

We had more than 400 people show up to last years Expo, she said. Because of our Expo, four kids, who I know personally, were able to get iPads as communication devices because they were nonverbal. One child was able to get equine therapy because the mother was able to get funding from our Resources Expo. Without the Expo, she would have never found those available funds.

Tanya herself was able to find help getting a specially built bike for Mahkhi, something that can run thousands of dollars.

The huge numbers that came to last years Expo and the fact that Special Moms for Special Needs has 178 members, and growing, is a testament to how much of a need there is in the community for such help. However, those who take care of people with special needs have had to pave their own way through the system. One example Tanya touts is Callens Castle, an all-abilities park to be built in New Braunfels. The effort is spearheaded by resident Lauren Clawson, who noticed a need for such a park locally. Currently, parents have to go to San Antonio or Austin to find an all-abilities facility.

New Braunfels really needs to catch up because we are such a growing city, Tanya said. I dont understand why we dont have those resources for our kids. Why do our families have to continue to go out of town to get help?

The Resources Expo will be from 9am to 2pm on Friday, May 15 at the Nazarene Church at 210 Klein Road.

For more information, you can call 210-758-3228 or email Special Moms for Special Needs at [email protected]. You can also go to the groups Facebook page, SM4SN. The groups flyer, which lists the organizations who will attend the Expo, is also available on the TX Citizens Facebook page. 234 8 G ru e ne L a k e D r. Su i t e B in the Vi l lage 8 3 0 . 64 3 . 13 09

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Continued from page 3. We thank the community of

New Braunfels for their constant support over the past many months and throughout the trial. Their presence with our family reaffirms that despite our experience, there are still many wonderful people in this world. We remain humbled by their love, the Davidson family said.

Heres how the community reacted to the press release, after it was posted on both the NBPD and TX Citizen Facebook pages:

The DA writes as if she knew the deceased personally. She didnt. Or at least, she shouldnt have or she shouldnt have been prosecuting it. Now, shes basically blaming the decision on the jury made up of the populace that elected her. They got it wrong because they failed to see it her way. No admittance that maybe, just maybe, she didnt prove the requisite beyond a reasonable doubt. This is nothing more than an elected official trying to stretch out this moment of fame. Take the hit & move on. Heaven forbid she gets her own legal talk show like Nancy Grace.

There was trial and a jury seated they have spoken. You accept the verdict and move on that is what you do as Americans. That includes YOU DA and NPD. You failed to get this young man convicted. You picked the jury you picked the charges and presented the evidence.

This DA has lost my confidence and now my vote. This was an irresponsible response. Almost as irresponsible as trying this as a murder in the first place. It was tragic and avoidable. Both children were victims here. They were victims of a system where adults failed to step in and address the behavior before it turned tragic. Instead of blaming the jury or the defense - lets try and learn how we can address bullying in school before we end up with a dead child and another that has to spend the rest of his life with blood on his hands.

justice was served lady you ought to be ashamed of yourself murder charges its a good thing im not your boss your not fit for the job/ i am making a copy of this letter this is what t the d a office does when they don t like a verdict the people gave them//

This is straight up embarrassing to read. And even more embarrassing to find this posted on my communities official PD page no less.

I am very disappointed in how this case was handled by the DA. I have no idea what Ms.Tharp was thinking here, and I surely have no idea what evidence she was basing her case on. She had to know that this case would not get the verdict from the jury that she was pressing for. When it is a case of FACTS vs EMOTION, facts will prevail every time. Very disappointing indeed.

Did Marilyn Mosby write this for you? This was not an intentional death. If you wanted a different outcome, then try not being overzealous and overcharging the case. you are incompetent.

Dear Ms. Tharp. Your attempt to try this, in the court of public opinion, after the Jury has ruled, is immature and unprofessional. The lives of everyone involved have been impacted. How do you think the defendant feels, living his life, knowing he killed a classmate? Sometimes, life is our cruelest punisher.

so what she is saying is that the D.A.s office never makes mistakes and that an appellate court should not be allowed to intervene? I am shocked, shocked I say .

I am ashamed of our DA HOW DARE YOU.

Amazing how in convictions that benefit this office, this office praises the justice system. Now, there is no praise and even worse, there is a complete disregard for the reasoning of the jurors. This offices statement is in itself, a defiance to the law this office is supposed to uphold. Emotions and self-righteousness got in the way here

And thats just a small sample. In the interest of accurate reportage, we would have posted comments in favor of the DAs statement had there been any as of press time. One reckless misstep after another. Now deal those cards

The prosecution doesnt realize it, but the defense did them a big favor. Before the case was given to the jury, Mezas attorneys asked that a charge of simple assault be considered as well, rather than just murder and manslaughter. At that point the DA had a choice - realize they had a weak case, and request that the judge bump that up to felony assault, or appeal Judge Charles Stephens ruling that misdemeanor assault should be among the charges the jury could consider.

Guess which way they went.Naturally, the Court of Appeals backed

Stephens. Duh.As for the aforementioned favor, well, if

the jury had not been permitted to consider anything other than murder and manslaughter, they may well have voted to acquit Meza altogether. One wonders how the DAs press release would have read after that. As it stands, prosecutors look like toddlers stomping their feet over dessert gone wrong. They shouldve gone for that felony assault charge. Probably would have gotten that. After interviewing members of the jury after the verdict was delivered, defense attorney Joseph Garcia said the jury indicated that they would have seriously looked at a felony charge.

As for Judge Stephens, we hope hell opt for probation when it comes time to hand down a punishment. (Note to DA: Dont bother requesting lethal injection. Its almost certainly off the table at this point.)

While the DAs office has no problem mining the Davidson familys pain for quotes in order to prop up its own political position, we implore the rest of the media, and the public, to leave them and the Mezas alone. Everybodys been through enough.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

Postscript:There are some rumors regarding this

case that need too be put to rest.1) Mezas mother is not dead, and

Davidson did not make fun of her (or anyone elses) death. This was a rumor invented by Mezas advocates/Davidsons detractors as motivation for the attack.

2) Meza was not an MMA fighter or a Golden Glove Boxer. He was not a trained fighter. This one came from the camp that understood that normal people cant generally deliver fatal blows, but wanted to make the case for murder.

Both of these lies persist. Dont be among those that repeat them.

Chase Cochran contributed to this column, and should be named as a co-defendant in any litigation filed as a result of its publication.


A couple weeks back, folk singer/subversive Todd Snider shut down San Marcos Cheatham Street as an act of both defiance and whimsy. The TXCs Nick Rogers sat down with Todd to discuss the action and some other stuff.

TXC: What the Hell is Occupy Cheatham Street? TS: Its about restoring the natural laws

of absurdity to mankind by protesting nothing and a technical celebration of everything.

Im hoping to collect like-minded people who are interested in politics and we have this simple message: We would like to clearly state to politicians everywhere that, as of now, we need them to stop jacking everything up and start kicking ass and being great.

Our motto is Stop not being awesome and be cool. It cant be that hard, especially since we simplified it like that.

I think were going to pull this off. We expect that in a few days, the economy will be healed. A few days after that, I think we will be able to announce that no one is ever going to die and there will be perpetual joy from now on.

TXC: That would be nice.TS: Yeah. I cant believe no one has

thought of this before. Politicians and lawyers are known for being uncool. So, my thoughts are stop it.

TXC: I see you have a book out, I Never Met a Story I Didnt Like.

TS: Yeah. I didnt really write it, it was more like a long interview. It was done by Peter Cooper, who writes for the Tennessean. So, it was kinda ghost written.

TXC: I havent seen it yet. Whats it about? TS: Its fucked up. The book is like

scattered short stories. Almost like Dylan, in which there is no linear drift to it, it just bounces around. I just made up a bunch of titles and, then, just ranted. It has a lot of stories about Cheatham.

TXC: About what age did you start playing? TS: I was 21, I think. I was here (in San

Marcos) and I was a busboy at Peppers and Bubba (Norton, of NBs Warriors Edge) was the manager. We went to the lake with some people and I made up a song about being a busboy. Bubba couldnt believe it. We were so young. We went right back to Peppers, and the Martin Brothers were playing. Bubba said, Dude, get up there and play a song.

Man, it was worse than heroin. I played one time and there was a smattering of

applause from about four people and I thought I was the Beatles. Ive had ego issues ever since.

TXC: Its my personal belief that a guy becomes a musician for the sole purpose to pick up women without having to act.

TS: A lot of musicians dont like to admit that, but I sure remember thinking, Huh, girls like musicians.

People give us drugs, too. Its a really awesome job.

TXC: Ive seen where youve had said your major influences were Jerry Jeff Walker, John Prine, Kris Kristofferson and Billy Joe Shaver, who you described as your Mount Rushmore. Who else was a big influence for you?

TS: Kent Finley was the guy who turned me on to all of those people. When I lived here in San Marcos there was Joe Ely and Delbert McClinton. Delbert McClinton is one of my favorite writers. You can dance to him, like you can to Prine. Prines tracks rock more than people sometimes realize and Delberts songs are as good as any. When I was young and I first had a band in Memphis, I told them I wanted to be like Joe Ely.

Ive talked to all the songwriters from my decade and weve been watching the ones who have come up behind us, and we didnt feel like we kicked much ass. Ours werent the greatest years for songwriters, but we tried.

This new group coming on is really good. In my generation, though, we have did have James McMurtry and Robert Earl Keane.

TXC: What first attracted you to your four Rushmores?

TS: Just people telling me that these guys are awesome. Also, you can find all of the other writers by getting Jerry Jeff Walker records. He plays everybody.

I always liked lyrics, and I wanted to be a singer and make up the words. But it really wasnt until I got to Cheatham and started hanging out with these guys.

I saw Jerry Jeff play at Gruene Hall, and it didnt look like an impossible job. Before that, every concert I had ever seen took place in a building where they also played sports, where you get in line to get in line to get in line. But, then I saw this drunk guy and bullshitter, circulating on sofas, bumming rides, and then drives his way through it. I thought, Yeah, I could do that because Im already doing half of it. Three chords from a free spirit.

The TX Citizen Interview:Todd Snider

by nick rogers

TXCITIZEN.COM 7

TXC: Youre on a big tour now? TS: This is the last of it. There are a couple

of performances sporadically this summer, but Im going to take a few months off.

Ive gotten used to touring. I love it, actually. Some people just love it. You dont work too hard and therere drugs. I still like to get in a car when somebody yells my name and says, Get in. I say, Fuck yeah. Thats the best part. I like that as much as I like making up songs, and maybe there is a song at the end of that.

TXC: When youre creating a song, do you come with an idea, subject matter or lyrics and write a tune around that, or do come up a riff or chord progression and then come up with the lyrics?

TS: All of those ways. I have about 170 songs that I have recorded, so I cant say which way works best, but I can say that I kind of remember each song. Like, theres this one song I wrote, called Kingsmen. I had the idea and I wrote it down, seven pages that didnt rhyme. It was a short story that I kept chipping away at for two years, trying to make each line shorter.

Then, sometimes, like when I wrote Play a Train Song, it felt like I knew it already when it was time to play it. A lot times it feels like that. You practice writing all of the time and, maybe once in a while, you get something where youre writing and pouring your heart out, and youre waiting for somebody to come and beat you up. You call up your friend to share it, to laugh and cry or whatever.

Then, there are other times you say, Man, I dont know why I would go outside and sing a song about eating cereal.

TXC: When you tell stories before or during a live performance of a song, do you consider the story part of the song?

TS: Sometimes, yeah. I dont think it started out that way. But, then you start playing 200 nights a year and you can only be spontaneous so often. My friends will tell me, just be yourself. But, Jesus, Ive never done that.

At a certain point when I was on the road, I started thinking of the talking bits as being more song-like. The stories grow on stage but after awhile, you may start to repeat yourself. But, they really happened. I may tell them a little different each night, but

if its real, it doesnt matter. You dont want to make up a new reason for writing the song. Its always the same reason, right?

TXC: Well, thats ok because the people in Dallas didnt see the show in Austin.

TS: No, they never do. But, you dont want it to become like being in a play, either. My manager told me there are about 30 stories hes heard me tell more than once, so thats how the book came about. Now, when Im on a plane I can say, Im an author, which sounds better than folksinger.

Rich fucking dudes who sit next me on the plane and act like they can smell me, thinking, This guys going to see Phish and his parents are paying for it. I can point to myself and say, Ahem, author.

Peter Cooper, the guy who actually wrote the book, is my editor. Hes the one I take my songs to first because I respect him so much.

TXC: A lot of your songs seem to be about poverty, and the psychological damage it does, from the perspective of a frustration that leads to apathy just in order to survive. Whats the impetus of that?

TS: I guess its just been my experience. Ive been doing pretty good the last few years, but even if youre making good bread, you probably didnt start making poems because you were secure. My parent went bankrupt when I was 15, but before that they were pretty rich, and once I became a singer, I decided I wasnt going to worry about money anymore.

Also, being a drug person keeps you on the wrong-side of town, where you can overhear conversations.

My family was very Republican and Im not. They were like, get out and dont talk to us anymore. I think thats in almost all of my songs. I feel like my whole life is to poke at that Cosby Show version of America, to annoy that.

These kids out here, (in the makeshift occupy camp outside the tour bus), these are the people I want to spend Thanksgiving with. For those of us who dont have a home to go back to and cant put on the clothes we used to wear, the strippers and the pickers, I feel like writing songs that make those people feel like their holidays are just as charming and warm as anyone else.

So many places I go, I know there are mothers staying awake at night, hoping they

dont fuck up so their kids dont end up at the party Im at. But, some beautiful things are happening at that party, some really touching and tender things. I feel defensive of my social circle. I dont know politics, which is why I think I would be the best person to run things. Our country is a wonderful place, obviously, but we talk about how everyone has this enormous freedom to succeed all they way to the top. But, its made possible by the idea that there are losers. You lose and slip below the poverty line and everyones ok with that, everyones ok with that in suspended animation, as if thats the plan. Capitalism plans for losers. I dont consider that necessary. I do feel like that for those people, once they get below that line, it gets pretty hopeless from where Ive been hanging out.

TXC: How many negative emails do you get from people angry about your songs?

TS: Tons. Tons and tons and tons. In fact, I think this job is not really about being liked as much as it is about getting out and being judged. In baseball, a guy goes out 10 times and gets 2.5 hits hes a fucking All Star. I think thats how music works. I play for 10 people a day so I can pick up two fans.

TXC: Have you ever had any incidents during a performance where somebody got upset?

TS: Oh, Jesus. How many times have I been sued this year? I get sued a bunch. I have impulse control issues.

TXC: Why were you sued, because you upset them with your words?

TS: Well, maybe. Its usually different every time. Our shows get confrontational sometimes. Theyll start out as energy sessions then they will sometimes turn into argument sessions. Or, Ive always been drunk or on drugs and it might be something else that hurt my feelings at the hotel, so I go out and play three John Prine songs and leave. Then I get sued.

But, I didnt sign up for this to be a good guy or a

professional guy or a successful guy, or any of that. But, I like the idea of metaphorically vandalizing a high school. I think its a profound thing to do. I dont think of it as apathy as much as absurdity. The only thing I can see thats left to do now is to be absurd.

There used to be jesters, and its obvious why they got rid of them. Now is a really good time to make fun of people who are trying to lead, to distract them and try to get in the way. Be a bother.

That, and its fun beating a dead horse. If you havent done it, it gets funner the more you do it. It gets softer and the ribs break.

Speaking of which, I hope the bull gets here soon.

TXC: A real bull? TS: Yeah, a real bull. A guys supposed to

bringing a big bull because this operation is going to take a bigger bullshit maker than me.

Bubba: When we asked for the bull, they kept asking why? Why? Why?

TS: We told them, We forgot why! Just do it!

I mean, wheres the sense in the hippy movement anyway? Lets cut it to what it was. Even the Republicans like that Im doing this. We just want to be anti-government and blame them. Is that wrong? I know we dont listen to them when they blame us, we hacky-sack. And were making signs that are not relevant to the event. I think protests need to lose focus. You dont need a cause to make a kick-ass sign. Weve been making signs all week. They just say Be Cool or Stop Being a Dick.

TXC: For someone who has never heard your music, what do you think would be the best song that defines Todd Snider?

TS: I dont know. I have one that I think is my favorite to sing, which is May Some

Good Fortune Come to You. Thats my current favorite. Hot damn! The bulls here!

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Freemanon SportsFreemanon Sports WITH BRANT FREEMANWITH BRANT FREEMAN

Goodells Priorities This has not been the greatest 12 month run for NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

A man who was chosen to succeed one of the greatest commissioners in the history of major American sports, Paul Tagliabue, Goodell has made his mark in the National Football League by making questionable judgment calls, ones that we cant throw a red flag for in hopes of getting them overturned.

The latest is something. Heres your Cliffs Notes version: In the AFC Championship Game this past January, the Indianapolis Colts believed the New England Patriots were using underinflated footballs on offense, and turned one of the game balls over to NFL officials who later confirmed the Colts suspicions. And with that, Deflategate (or Ballghazi) was born. Following a nearly four-month investigation, the Wells Report was released, detailing the scheme involving heralded Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and two equipment officials working for the team. This was quite the investigation by the way, 243 pages worth that included scientific analysis by a physics professor from Princeton.

For underinflated footballs.Following the release of the report, the

Ginger Hammer struck down one hell of a penalty: A four game suspension of reigning Super Bowl MVP Brady, forfeiture of New Englands 2016 first round pick, 2017s fourth round pick, and a $1,000,000 fine for the Patriots franchise.

I get it, Goodell doesnt want the integrity of the game compromised. Cheating wont be tolerated. Everyone has to play within the rules, yada, yada, yada. But isnt this the equivalent of using stickum? Would a player or a team get levied with this kind of punishment for putting that stuff on his hands? Funny you ask, because if a player puts his hands on his spouse, the punishment is far less severe.

It was just this past July when Goodell suspended Ravens running back Ray Rice for TWO games, after video surveillance footage surfaced showing Rice dragging his unconscious fianc (now wife) out of an elevator in Las Vegas following a physical altercation. This was five months after

the incident took place, longer than the Deflategate investigation. There was no Wells Report or professor from Harvard to help with the investigation in the Ray Rice incident, just a meeting with Rice and his fianc, followed by a stern finger shaking of dont do that again.

That was Goodells knee-jerk reaction to a domestic violence matter, one of the greatest tragedies in the world today. BUT SOFT FOOTBALLS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED YOU MONSTERS.

Of course, as we found out later, several sordid details of the Rice investigation were swept under the rug. It was only after additional footage was released, showing Rice striking his fianc in the elevator (causing her to lose consciousness) that Goodell, no doubt due to public outrage, suspended Rice indefinitely. Speculation followed that Goodell and the NFL had access to the footage from inside the elevator as far back as April, giving Goodell four months to come up with a two game suspension for Rice. It took him one day after the release of the Wells Report to suspend Brady for one-quarter of the 2015 NFL season.

A one game suspension and a fine of $100,000 probably would have done the trick. Instead, Goodell wanted to send a strong message of fair on-the-field play. This is the stand he chose to make, when the best stand he couldve made this past July felt, well, underinflated.

His personal conduct policy hasnt made much of an impact; players are acting just as poorly off the field as ever. Hes overseen a referee lockout, and other gates (bounty & spy). Hes respected by almost no one in the NFL, and has been called to resign by the media and U.S. Senators. Hes met by more boos from fans than a road team receives at a rival stadium.

But hey, at least he puts football in the UK three times a year. And now that Brady guy, he of four Super Bowl titles with a model for a wife, will have learned his lesson. Thanks Rog.

Brant Freeman is a seasoned local sportscaster, serving as the radio voice of Texas State University since 2003, hosting television coverage of Texas State Athletics and delivering the goods as a reporter for major sporting events in the greater San Antonio area for over 10 years.

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By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: My most beloved niece married a boy of Mexican extraction. I am very fond of him, but he and his family kind of hold us all at arms length. Its very difficult to get close and has made me back off. My niece has told me that his mother doesnt like white people. Wouldnt it be better to get to know me before deciding you dont like me? Isnt her attitude racist?

Ill never forget walking into their wedding with big smiles because my niece was getting married and she is a major sweetheart. We were greeted with stony faces and no responses to our greetings; I felt like West Side Story. Looking back, maybe I should have clicked my fingers and sang, When Youre a Jet. Is there something I can do, or should I just continue to be courteous when we meet and try to find something to talk to them about? It is hell to hold a conversation with his family and they always make me feel like Im in the way (actually, his father is nice and he makes great burritos).

Wondering Whitey

Dear Gabacha: Stop being so gabacha. Believe it or not, not all Mexicans like white people. Your nephew-in-law obviously does, and it seems his papi goes gaga for the gaba as well. But your nieces suegra? Not so much. I can offer advicetake the woman out to a spa day, treat her to a nice lunch, smuggle over the last of her sisters from Pueblabut the sad reality is that Mexican moms keep pointless vendettas FOR LIFE. Whatever!

Youre upset about one pendeja making family reunions uncomfortable; I should detail which of my cousins dont talk to the other cousin over something said by uncles 45 years agobut I still need to show my face at family quinceaeras, you know? Man, are our family funerals fun!

Dear Mexican: Can you enlighten me regarding something I am curious about regarding tortillas? Why are flour tortillas available in 6-, 8-, 10- and 12-inch diameter sizes, but corn tortillas are available in only 6-inch diameter sizes?

Worth the Girth

Dear Gabacho: Easyflour tortillas can get bigger due to their gluten, of which corn tortillas have next-to-none. Because of that, corn tortillas have a maximum size before disintegrating like the U.S. border. The largest corn tortillas Ive ever seen dont get bigger than eight inches, but as I told the Charleston City Paper last year, tortilla sizes are like penis sizes: Its not the size of the ship, but the motion of the masa that matters. Or to paraphrase another penis aphorism: once you go maize, youll always sing its praiseor better yet: once you learn to like corn, itll always be your porn. No?

Dear Mexican: While conversing with Mexican-American manitas, I came to a halt when trying to conjugate the verb pistear or pistiar. From whence does this term originate?

Slushed out Sista

Dear Negrita: This is a great way to show the world anew the baroque, vulgar wonders of Mexican Spanish. The Real Academia Espaola (RAE), the official guardians of Spanish in the world, doesnt acknowledge the Mexican Spanish definition for pistearto get smashed with palsbut what do they know? The paisa slang ultimately derives from pisto, which is both an adjective (drunk) and noun (said drink that got the pisto person pedo). And pisto comes from the Latin pistussmashed.

Now it makes sense why Mexicans use pisto as a synonym for being borracho, qu no? Meanwhile, all the RAE can offer as a definition for pistear is some Central American mamadas about making moneypinche mamones. And, yes: the RAE sure as hell doesnt offer the Mexican Spanish definition of what a mamn is, either.

Ask the Mexican at [email protected],

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On Theft TaxationThat taxation is theft is an important philosophic position in libertarianism, but almost no one outside of libertarians have any understanding of what this simple axiom means. In fact, using the phrase in any political discussion is likely to get you branded an anarchist and invited to emigrate to Somalia. For me, the anarchist moniker is an accurate one, and Im just as likely to point out that while I considered Somalia several years ago, its current problems arent too little government, but instead, too many of them. Civil war is not anarchy. In this column, though, I generally stick to the libertarian element and leave anarchy for special occasions, so I thought I might try to lay out the thinking for taxation is theft this week.

The first resistance people generally have to the idea of taxation being theft is the underlying implication that there is some level of illegality to it. This is fair. Theft is defined as the action of stealing, and stealing includes not only taking what is not yours, but also doing so without legal authority. A more accurate phrase would be taxation is legalized theft, and Ive heard it expressed this way before, but it really doesnt have the same punch. (If youre trying this at home, let me suggest that you start with taxation is theft for the shock value, and then cede the ground that it is legal, if not moral.)

In this case, we (yes, theres a mouse in my pocket) are using the definition of stealing your mom taught you as a kid: taking something that doesnt belong to you without permission. We all know this is wrong, and that is the heart of it. A persons earnings dont belong to government or anyone else but the person who earned them. It doesnt really matter how you dress things up, its still wrong. Saying that we all took a vote doesnt really change anything. Having the firepower to back up the decision to take whats not yours does, though; it changes everything.

Not surprisingly, our government likes to call the tax system a voluntary one. Also not surprisingly, thats a lie. Try telling the IRS youve decided not to pay taxes this year, and find out how voluntary taxation is. As libertarians are fond of pointing out, continued

resistance to this voluntary confiscation of your wealth will certainly lead to a loss of your liberty and in the end (if you are determined to push it) your life as well. All this is very legal, but being legal does not make it moral.

It is not morally permissible to get someone to do what is not moral for you to do yourself. It is not moral to murder. Nor is it moral to get someone else to do it for you. This is true in all cases. The reason is simple: you cant give authority to someone to act when you dont have that authority in the first place. Furthermore, numbers dont change the morality of the situation. It is no more acceptable for five people to decide to murder than it is for the individual. And lastly, power doesnt change the equation either. It may provide the means necessary to commit the act, but it doesnt magically make it moral.

Taxation is theft: it is taking something that is not yours through use of an agent (the government), and it is justified (in this country at least) by virtue of numbers. We pretend that because most of us have decided to take from someone else that it is somehow morally justifiable to do so; its not.

Now, this is the libertarian perspective on taxation. You will often see Libertarian candidates rail against taxation and promise to abolish it. Dont expect the same from libertarian leaners. Rand Paul, for example, may call for an end to the IRS. He might even call for an end to the income tax (I have tailored this argument to fit the income tax, but it works for all taxation with some slight variations). He will not, however, call for an end to taxation overall; this is too radical an idea for any mainstream candidate. This is important because it often determines whether someone decides they are a libertarian or a Libertarian (little l vs big L).

If you agree with the idea that taxation is theft and cant accept the moral responsibility of supporting such theft, the only remaining decision would be to vote Libertarian (hence big L, a party member/voter). Thats laudable, but not a stricture that I hold myself to, as extreme as I am. Thats not because I think eliminating taxation is unworkable; its because I think such a change is too much for our country to accept in a single step.

All this brings us back to the beginning because I still havent addressed the anarchist

accusation libertarians are likely to face when stating that taxation is theft. The response to this accusation is simple primarily because the thought process behind it is so simple-minded.

The underlying question in the anarchist accusation is, how will you pay for government without taxation? The answer, of course, is the same way we pay for everything else.

I dont go out and take money from some other poor sap if I want something. If I did, Id be a criminal. If I want government, why shouldnt I be expected to pay for it in the same fashion? If this was how things were done, it really would be a voluntary system. People would pay only for the government they wanted.

There are some ties to anarcho-capitalism here. Thats because in many cases, if government services were paid for with fees and in a voluntary manner, there would be little reason not to privatize them. Doing so would allow for a true market system and add competition that should improve the services over time. This is what those married to the idea of a strong, intrusive government are afraid of. Its not that the elimination of taxation would do away with all government, it just doesnt allow for an ever expanding and unaccountable one. When people dont like a service they get, they tend to stop paying for it, and then, the era of big government really would be over.

Most libertarians dont call for the end of all government. They generally have some very specific functions that they feel government needs to serve. Libertarians expect that government will protect citizens from force or fraud, so a court system and some form of policing is appropriate. This can be extended to regulation too. A good number of libertarians are not complete free-market supporters (this is especially true in environmental concerns). The idea that all libertarians are anarchist is inaccurate and usually a red herring.

The truth is that government funded without taxation can be as big as those paying for it want it to be. That taxation is theft is not a call to abolish government; its a simple statement of fact designed to help people consider what type of a government they want.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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