understanding trends in american muslim divorce and marriage

7/29/2019 Understanding Trends in American Muslim Divorce and Marriage

1/48Institute forSocial PolicyandUnderstanding

Understanding trends in american

mUslim divorce and marriage:A Discussion Guide for Families and Communities

ISPU

by Dr. Julie Macfarlane, ISPU Fellow

January 2012

RepoRt


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2012 iu s Py U. a h .

n p h pub y b pu y by

y whu p w h iu s Py

U. th iu s Py U y

k u p pub py u. th w p h

y h w h u, , u.

Scan this QR code to read

the rest of our reports online.

Scan this QR code to support to ISPU.


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RepoRt

January 2012


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About The Author

d. Ju m P h Fuy lw h Uy W, P

h P h K iu i Pbu, Fw h iu

s Py U (isPU). sh h h w bu pu

u p h 20 y, u u , ju,

bv w, b, bv pb-v. sh h b pp

h z p pu u p py.

Ju bk th nw lwy: Hw s t h P

lw (Uy Bh cb P 2008) dpu ru: r

c su (e my, 3 2011). a bk h uy i dv

nh a: aSharia Ph su sy w b pubh by ox Uvy

P y 2012.

Ju , u uy u .

th h f uy i pu u p.

Acknowledgements

my pp h bu y u b uk h h. i

h y p i u h p.

i wu k hk y h , ah aj, sby m ly

ty h h wk h pj, yh i h

h. i , i w hk y i i w P a

e, P abuh a-n d. Khy Buk isPU h u

wh hv v h pj h u upp pu F sz, shb

Kh, s shk, sh Z, sw Bz, P Whb abu-r, Z

gw, a Quh.

udestdg Teds ame Mslm Dve d Mge2


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Table o Contents

5 exu suyA National Debate

The Study

Study Demographics

Report Purpose & Structure

11 g m

The nikah or marriage contract

Legal issues and the nikah

Using the nikah or trial and multiple marriages

Choice o partner

Pre-marital counseling

19 m c

Gender roles and authority

Islamic amily traditions and marital confict

Relations with in-lawsTrans-national marriages

Second wives/ adultery

Cross-cultural marriages

Differences in religious practice

Domestic violence and abuse

29 sy m

Decision-making actors

Marriage counseling and reconciliation

33 g d

Motivations or seeking a religious divorce

Process and practice in religious divorce

Financial and legal outcomes in divorceSocial outcomes

Spiritual outcomes

39 r

Getting Married

Marital Confict

Staying Married

Getting Divorced


6/48



7/48

January 2012

RepoRt

th v nh a mu h hpy h 25 y. Wh

bkw h mu u, y b

h w uuu uh h y. Wh

, h wp b wh v h w fu kpy wh y h uy b bu bkw.

th b u y, , h nh a mu uy.

th u-y p uy h u vu up u

py ky. th w xp wh hy u h i b

, h h hy h v, u wh u hy

h u h -k p, wh hy u hp,

wh u u u p h.

Wh mu wh h w b v u , y w u

h hy hv uf h i b u h hy hnikah k yp u pp h (uuy

). th u f u mu w

bh w h b h U s c,

h u u y. rp

h uy b h f i v h bh bv

mu, b h uu uy wh h p p

h f i y.

th b i w p

bu mu y 21 uy nh a. i uy

h-p pph py nh a. a h , h f pub b v sharia w whh u

h i pp mu , z

h mu uy.

mu up y h h -mu up hy p

h vu , u wh , u w

Exetve Smm

Tis our-year

empirical studyhas encouraged

individuals and

groups to discuss

marital conict

openly and rankly


8/48


h pp w wk u, h h x y, u

w v. a h , py i y y

p whh uu u w u pp.

th y u i mu wh h b nh awh tq r

h bu h mu py h W h .1

A National Debate

th wp w i h U.s. fx h p

sharia. m y sharia , uh

bu y puh. m u h sharia

x w pub u, wh h h mu wh p

h w -mu.

th uy hw h nh a mu, wh h b, h

p xp hsharia b huh p

y , py v. n h 212 vu u

, u h, wk, hp, wy v w

vw h uy u h hy w h x h u p

b sharia nh a. th hy up h jy

p h b k Qu uhy. Fuh,

y h 212 p p, p i p y

h mu . o h y, h w

wp p h u bh u,

u pu u. a h p h uy u h pvh i p h y, w

bw g w p h h

pub ju h w h hu w. thy y xp

b b u h i pv, y,

b b u h p (y u h u u u).


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January 2012

RepoRt

iy, hy w mu sharia p 9/11 y b

h u uh mu . i h

hy y h mu uy nh a whw, u

bk u y. ah pby uu u . th f

p uh y p u mu hv bu

h u by mu h W.

The Study

th pu h uy w h 2003-2005 o sharia b whh

wp pub i , w wh

h mu uy. th w h hhy pubz pp by up, h Darul-

Qada, i bu b y . th b h u xp

h k wh yp p w b u, hw hy w u, whyhy p mu o whh uh k pub .

th py bj h uy w u, u qu, w-b

pph, hw nh a mu u . spfy, h uy

xp i pph , , h

f hy mu nh a. m w wh h xp

u w j h uy. a p h p up w

h wh py , , , w

h p wk wh ( wk, hp, wy). ivw w

u wh 212 u bw 2006 2010.

iw wh u h hp h b.

thy b h y h hnikah , h

hy xp h , h f bkw h hp. i-

ph w u b h k p wh mu u

nh a hy ju y h W, bu y h

. d h vw, w up v qu


10/48


i uy , pv ww y h uu

py nh a .

ivw w u -- db, mh; o cuy, l a;oh, nbk; t, W, l ow, o; by ph

wh u h U s c. th pj wb (www.

v.) w y p y w w uy v

by h w k i . appxy

75% h w p h U s, 25% c.

n pvv w bw h w ju, h y p

h uh bw h U s c.

th hy -uu w w u h h j

p up ( h p; ;

uy p, u uy wk, hp hh p, wy). iw bw 30 90 u. a w

puy, u b y qu. au w

v bu p y u wh

h / p .

d w yz u h nv 7 w2 y h u p

u y yp, uh p ,

u , k u , ypy pp

pph .

Study Demographics

i h nh a mu k u , ju

hw y ukw. Ju 5% h k h uy w h hy

w i v, bu h ub pv h ppu

bu h uy pfy u wh wu k bu h xp

u v. Hwv h h u v nh a


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January 2012

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mu bh wp . o u h b bh bh h

h h h pj, h uy w b y y y u

wh u ppv v w vy p; v h h p

kw h wh h uh u . th jy (80%) w, pbby bu hy qu b p h

b p .

th h ph h p hw h h wh k u

xy up. d uy p u bh f -

a mu w . appxy h

nh a u ( uy), qu yu h, wh h h

25% b h U s c. dv w h

up. a h h p f suh a (py i-Pk),

y 30% h h y h m e, 10% f

a, 6% w a-a. a ub (2%) w cu i. a 20% h w -uu, h , h pu h

h uu h bku.

th h bkw uy p y h bkw h

wh nh a mu ppu bu p; h u-p

a-a/c mu.3 th w h y h p h

u bh w bh z h h

yp pf h wh k u .

a h ph h w nh a mu uy, h p

w hhy u up. appxy h f h p(wy, , , h, h ju h), y wh

u . a h h uy , wh y

ub h hh h p y u.

Bh su sh bu h uy, p f h i

jupu. Hw h b h k hhy p


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pph ppy h u h . th w yp: i

u h h h h pb b ; a mu h W i

w ju h. i u u pph h p h y

h py W pu h vy (mu) u; W h b Hf, mk bu b hu b. th p

h h w bw pph b h

. F f w h u w w h y,

h h uy h .

Report Purpose & Structure

th rp p h u h h pj, u wh

bu mu y nh a, h y h by mu

hy p h uu u W u . th rp

y wh bu h uu y by mu y ,wh h h k. i u p g m,

m c, sy m g d.

eh u u qu u. muh wh h

rp b h , h w xp, h w

p v pp p wk hh u y vy

w u p mu u nh a. db

u whh y p i u w b xp u

p p. a ub , h mu

uy hu b k hw , u ,

u w . Wh h b w hk p xp, p- u, h z hnikah,

y w p w b

p ju hw uh h u b p, by wh?

du h qu u y h h u b p

w u uy p.


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The Nikah or Marriage Contract

th u i p w y p

wp nh a mu, h b y. o yu pu i kw y wh wu

nikah. ny-h p h h uy w u nikah

95% b .

th f h h wh wy.

my mu hnikah bw hv g, p

xp h. W h b b mu uh u h. W v

w w g, wy g. a xp, thnikah b pp

h h y g. i y u. i b wy,

() v. Bu mu up wh u nikah u h

u . my yu mu wh b h yu w y u y b h u h h p

bh, h . th f

bh uh, h wh p h h by

qu, py uy.

th mu p kw h (h nikah) ju p hw ,

wh hy mu, hy k h u y uy.

a p h huhu h uy h h f i y

p (bu xuv ) u h. th i

y wp nh a mu, y hv b p h v 9/11 (whh y p vw). my mu

w nikah wh hy y p h p h h

u b bu h y pk bu h yb h

nikah f h i y u.

Gettg Med

Te average

Muslim personknows this (havin

a nikah) is just par

o how lie is, even

when they are no

good Muslims,

they take these rul

very seriously.


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thnikah y u v , bu , b

. m u nikah nh a (huh

ju bh h nikah

y). a h k p mu uy u nikah bz u by h a u, wh bh pu h

h U s, u h pp y (w h

h ju). Hw mu up wh y nh a u

nikah u b h u b z.

i 95% h uy, bh nikah w u h

( y h ). m b

bu p, h hy wu b hub w h ju. a

f ub w f nikah y u h up h y

b .

i h y , bh pu y p pb

h hy p. F xp, y b fu b

f qub ppy . Pb bh pu h w b

px fu. Wh pv hv w p

h w - p h b y

up, u hw pb h u wu b mu w wh

u h b , w p.

r nikah pp b y pu u wh,

, h h b h uu p. F xp, Hh Pk,

-y ubub d, f a-a mu wh h b u nikah bu y h . iw wh

uy wk v h nikah wp

u h y. i h xp, h s uy h h

t ow u h 15 y y b . o

h uy h up 85% h b wh h u nikah

h . i h , nikah pp b p


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h h w, b h uy u h h

, h h y uy xp.

DiScuSSion:

Should Muslim couples be encouraged to register their marriages? How and why?

Legal Issues and the Nikah

dp y u p-up whh pu k

p h , xp, ppy v h v v

whh uuy y b, h nikah y b

h h U.s. c u. ev wh nikah p wh h h

qu b ( xp, y , u, h

p w), h u h hy wh hy u pup.

th h mahr (i wy) by b bh

(hnikah) y h. i h uy, w wh h

mahr u w y uuu. a w h uph

nikah p py mahrwh h ju h b pu h h hub w

uy h b py,4bu h u y u.

l hnikah p wu w y mu

w u h h w h wy y h

p-up . th f p h hnikah h py hmahr hnikah w p-up , uh

p wu b uy b.

c w u h hu h h u

h hnikah xp h wu h hw h h

h u hmahrpu py p p, bh


16/48


pu wu hw h hy u wh w h mahr( xp,

w u hy bh u).

DiScuSSion:

What advantages are there to the legal recognition o the nikah by the courts?

How important -in light o civil law remedies setting out support obligationsis the continuation

o the tradition o the mahr, and should the mahr be legally recognized?

Using the Nikah or Trial and Multiple Marriages

th nikah u w h wy mu u. o w

wh h pp h uy. Wh h , w

v uh p, p h hy h ( qu h p y h). l uuu h

u nikah b up , wh h f y

ubqu w wh nikah y. th p ,

h hy w . i w xp h

h i w, y h hy w w

h p hy pp .

DiScuSSion:

Should the nikah be used or ( i) trial marriages (ii) multiple unions?

Wh 95% b bh nikah , w h hnikah

h h h h h u

h. th w h , h py y h h b

p. dp h, w h hy p

h ub hnikah, u bp whh hy

. s w w hk h h h hub

u h bf h y p h nikah - xp,


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January 2012

RepoRt

h h k w, h u talaq (bu qu h k

p). a h , w huh h p

py mahr h , p h h h w y u h

nikah. i hh, y wh hy h bh hnikah uy, p .

DiScuSSion:

How can couples and not just their parents be encouraged to review their nikah

and take its obligations more seriously?

Choice o Partner

my xp h p w b y h h p

h uh. a u, p pp uh. Hw p p up p h u y, pw bh

u h y (uy b ). a ub b

h p h y bu uy v , xp by h v

pp h p. P p xp, wh h

h up h by yu mu wh

h uf b .

th pb h h by p k h h h y b h

h h xp h. th yu w xp yp :

i y h wu wk. H xp w b h h, b w up h.

i xp ub bu u pby, bu i w Yu y kw wh

b yu.

Pb pp b py wh pu w up nh a,

by p - -


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( bw, m c). Wh h v h

ky h y h, wh - u

, uu upb, u b pby.

th h h b qu y by yu pp,

bu by h p. Wh h wk u

b, p w k pph wh ubqu b, w

p h.

DiScuSSion:

How can parents constructively help their children to choose a partner?

What are important qualities in choosing a partner? How important is shared culture

and what does that culture include/ exclude? (ethnicity, amilial country o origin, level oeducation, other?)

Pre-marital Counseling

P- u b wh . n h

w h uy h h yh h h uy v wh .

a nikah (h y xp h Wb)

pf u, p h h i jupu w u

v y h h . P- u ppuy u

h u hnikah, bu y y ub y h hy h. th

w h p b h w uw, .

a w qu p p- whh h up w u

u b k h nikah. a h h

uy wh h hy h b x p- u. Bu h

uy y y k h v. a v p-

u p u, m up p pp h w h

hy pp h .


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DiScuSSion:

Do you think that pre-marital counseling would be helpul to prospective spouses?

What issues should be covered/ discussed?

How could couples be encouraged to attend pre-marital counseling?

Should the nikah be individualized through discussion and negotiation in each case?

What issues should be included?


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my w b h h h

h . th b y xp h

b h .

Gender Roles and Authority

d xp up h w u h

h w h u b by bh

w. typy, up u wh h h yu w w up wh

xp h hy wu uy wk u h h, pby

p h up wy jb wh h hub (

) mu w. s w k bu h hub y

h wh hy xp y w h, b b

uppy p. th y ub w hh u

p p y y h yu w h hh h. thy hv h p y

k y upp, py hy .

U h h xp hw

, wh h uhy h hp. s w b

up uhy. th hub xp h hy wu b h -

k , wk u h h, wh hy wu ,

whh hy wu fy upp , wh -w. my w h

h pby, h - mu hub hwv,

h hw y h yu w h uy w z h .

thy hp xp h hub h h xp quy, pp p. F h p, b h u

wh hy w bw h w p quy

p h u b k by h hub, h

h h p h h.

Te entry o

increasing numbero women into

higher education

and proessional

roles also implies

a very diferent

liestyle or these

young women tha

their mothers and

grandmothers.

Mtl cft


22/48


dpu quy py u huh h,

wk u h h, u hh u. my w wh

wk u h h wh h hub pp p h hy w

xp hu h huh h. thy w xhu wk jb h pby k, h. s h

k bu h quy wh whh h u up u,

y h -y hub b b u h h k

wh bh pu w wk.

a bu f ub w b f, h up, h h

hub xp h p wk uy h w y

h h h. s k bu ju up h hp

wh u wk, v b u uv by h hub,

py wh hy w h bw. a w w b x

u h b , u wh hy z wh wh hy u h w y.

th h w, bh u h y u, p h

, y mu up. th uu xp

py wh bh pu wk u h h u y -

mu ,5 h x h u by h uy. th

uy hw h u h h wh h

p quy pw w ppp,

u-i . s w wh k h hub h

pb h h xp, h huh k wh hy bh wk

u h h xp p uh u h, w u b b mu w.

ru juf ( wh h ) b hhy .

ch h u b fu ky

up h pp u p p, h . my

h wh uh p h p h uh


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u pp, bu p h wh pu h w

y, wh w u ub pv hy.

DiScuSSion:

How are changing gender roles outside the home aecting the dynamics and expectations

inside the home?

What are the challenges or amilies in which both spouses work outside the home?

Islamic Family Traditions

a w h uhy wh , h p mu y

u pu h . s v v b

pu h h uu u mu y u.

Relations with In-laws

ty, b w h hub p

pu xp py p h up . s h

hp bw h--w uh--w pu p , wh

h b h hy hu py h h hub . i mu

uu, wy w xp wy h w uhy h

h--w , h w huh.

th u p h w up. typbu h up p py wh h huh, p

-k whu p h. o w u h wh -w

h u mu .6 s b h u

wh h whu h h h x , wh h

y py u u mu ( , y

). Wh h w hpu upp , h up h


24/48


hy y wh h k h w , h h y

h h p h (uuy ) .

DiScuSSion:

What are the common sources o confict between a married couple and their in-laws?

What can be done to address these conicts?

How can in-laws play a positive role in the lives o their married children, and what boundaries

should there be?

Trans-national Marriages

s h xp b p h by

p - - . th u pyfu h xp v . th jy h h

p w u bw w wh w up nh a w

h p uy . th w yp h xp:

i y p, bu ju wk. H w b ub.

my hub xp k h p. th up

y uy h yu y u.

nh p u - ppuy

u h h u h uy h .

DiScuSSion:

Under what circumstances can trans-national marriages work? What are the risks?

What is the role o values and principles rom the amily country o origin in North American

Muslim marriages?


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Second Wives /Adultery

o w b h j h h b h

hub hp() wh h w (h w u fy hp). i h w w p by h hub w, bu

h wh h f w. i h hp w

z bynikah y, huh h w w by.

th h mu w b k v y

up h h hub y k up wv. i w b h fy

w xpy b uy pp pu v w by

h h h w. th u h w j h up y

h w h h h u h f

k h p. s h h pp.

sv w b uyph p wh hy k h u

h, whh hy p pyy. i w b

h u pyy ( h h uy) k h h wy

h p, h wu b ppuy -x h p

pyy py mu u nh a. a w bv,

mup pb h uy wh, ju w.

DiScuSSion:

Is the practice o polygamy appropriate in contemporary North America? Is it Islamic? Is this

a private matter, or is it the business o the community?

What role should the imams play in the acilitation or discouragement o multiple marriages?

Cross-cultural Marriages

my u h bw p uu bku

w y pb h . th uy b u h


26/48


up. th yp p by h -uu h p

(ppxy 20%) x h h h bw mu

wh h h uu bkuh xp, pu v ppp

, h h pw uhy h hp.

th p h -uu , h f

up. F xp, w b hw h hub u h hy hu

u h h. c y u

. o b h a w (h w i) bh

wy h w h, u k uy bu h h

u. t w b up , y uh. s

v p h h hub h k mu, y

h h hy w y mu. i -uu bh

pu y h h wh h y, wh h y

f h h y y hppy h .

DiScuSSion:

What types o cultural dierence do you anticipate might raise conicts in a marriage?

How should a amily respond when their son or daughter presents a prospective spouse

rom another culture?

Differences in Religious Practice

Wh -uu u pph u p,h pb h y u h

w h j u h bkw h . suh

w y y bub uu , bu ypy w

bu h p b.

a ub w p bu ub , wh ( hy ) h

hub i pp ( xp, py, b h,


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x- ) bu wu h qu phb bh by h (

xp, pu pub , u wh h wk). s

h w puy bz, uh h hub wh h w h mu w

w uw, h wh h w h h w p hby h f . th w wh h buy h uh u

; , H w u i h w wy h w pu k h

wk h. s p bv h h h wy y h,

h w h h h w h w g.

dpu u p bw mu up y pwu yb. Wh

h up h u u b p,

pp b uh xp u (-) u juf h w

bh. a w pu , i h wh qu whh yu

mu.

DiScuSSion:

How important is it to fnd a partner who shares your approach to religious practice? What types

o dierences can be accommodated? What types o dierences are less easily managed?

Domestic Violence and Abuse

o h b bu. a h

phy u h, puh, p. a up

b vb bu, u wh w w py

by h hub h h wu h k wy h h, k h w.a h p w w h, wh w

w b phy bu. Wh p w b by ,

h h xp hw

u h h w.7 Php uupy

i p h u u, v pp b y y

x k u u.8


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suh hh h uqu

h mu uy, h ub , hky, hh h h h

ppu.9 d nh a, wu xp

uh u b py p uy . th y nh a bu mu y uu, -mu y

bh.10 d h y pu uu

y phy u uu u.

Hwv, hw uy v w h vp

uu ,11 upp u uy v h z

juy . s w b uh uy , whh h

pp hp , uy, k xy fu.

ru u ju y h b y b upp

juy bh h b phy up . Wh

h w b h b y u u juf h bh, u u uuy h by h hub h h w w

bh u-iy h u bu. a, ub u h

h h w b mu h h w. th py

p u h w wh y vy p. o h

b h pu bu.12

n h w wh b xp bu b h i

y wy p h b bh. my w h bu uu

xp , h b h y uy h

bh y ub p h pu b p h. i

p , h p h p h y uy b wh hy h h y bu buy h bu

h , p h . (t)h b p p.

th w p u uhy w

b hw hy h u hp wu b y h uy. s

xpy u w h p, u h hy b

p wh uh h -mu, w h h p y


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u h p mu ( bw, sy m). oh

p z- py bu, u h

uh h .

DiScuSSion:

There are many exhortations in the Quran and hadith that make it clear that male violence

against women is not permissible. To what extent do you see this reected in the attitudes

o your own amily and community towards domestic violence?

What barriers do women ace in reporting domestic violence to their amilies, their imams,

and to outside authorities? How could these be overcome or reduced?


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January 2012

RepoRt

th p k i h wh

v whv pb. th Qu xh w up

, xpy i u p bu pfy

b php u wh pb. c pu u wh y b h by h y y v bh.13

th v h uy b y pb y,

h h f ub. n h h uy h

h y, quky, hy. thy b u, pp, , hu,

h uu. i h i h vyh i u v y ,

(h) h i h h w. s b h uy, py

h , pp b h yu up wh py y h

uh. th by w h uy h uy u hw.

th wy p by h y

p p.

Decision-Making Factors

Fu b -k bu y . th f h

u x . c h u bu p y

u h h h pb y v u p,

huh y h y b . a

h u u h u w. th w h y

p xp , wh h y. ey

wu h wh p u k bu

wh h h uh bu h . th u vu u h h h qu p u f, whh y

u uhppy y y. a p y

y pu, bu g. i py y

wk, bu p .

dp h, y w p h py bw h

Every divorced

man and womanincluding those wh

did not contemplat

a religious divorce

talked about wha

their aith taught

about the ending

o a marriage.

Stg Med


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h Quwh b h h p h14 h

h u . i kp ( uhppy ) y y

bu h w hw i w up yu , , whh b,

yu ju pu up wh . th p h ( h f) u-k v y uu u w v

uy, u y b. Wh yu v yu y v yu pu,

bu yu y. i mu uu u h p-

w h u h z xu

. th , pu w,

pp b h x suh a u. th

w v, bh w . W wy

pb kp h y h. Ph u u h h

w bk u upb, whv h u. ap

h uy ju h i h wh w yu

yu h uy kp yu h hp.

Fy u w uh wh k bu h pu

h vu h uy h h qu. o

w b b y bk h buv hub by h h .

thy h bu b h i u pby

wh p u. m y, p xp puhbk

wh hy f u h hy w v, bu h u

bu h u h h uuy u yphy upp. s

xp wh h w bu h xp k u h

h y u xp .

eh h b wh uh -kh u

py h u. syp mu, puy mu w,

u h p u py, p, p h

pxy h -k p h u.


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DiScuSSion:

How has your amily/community historically reacted to individuals who consider divorce?

Are you comortable with the prevailing attitudes within your own community and amilytowards divorce?

Is there a dierent attitude towards women as compared with men who have been divorced?

What are the practical consequences o this?

Marriage Counseling and Reconciliation

th p h . Bh h

x y h py p u

(wh vw wh kp p v wh ) . s

w y uw u h u , u h u phz h .

th ph k y w

k . my y pph h hy y h hy

y h , y b u b k y . th x

u w wh k bu, h h

bh by h hub h y b w, b p, h

y h. th z bu, j u u uh wh

pw, b wh h wy h p

u, u y . i , b h

v , h . i h p h w h p h.

oh w pk bu hw hpu h w kp

h k , w , b wh h pu. a y

vwh up hu h bu h u v.

n w wh p k bu , p h k

h upp u vb y uy b wh y hv


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nh a whu h x y. s ub u

w. th wh k h wk bu y

u uk. (t)h i h w xp b o sp shp,

u, py

DiScuSSion:

What role should the extended amily play in marital counseling and reconciliation?

How can the imams be better supported and resourced to carry out their social welare role

in their communities?

Should reconciliation be attempted in cases o domestic violence? When and how?


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3

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RepoRt

oy u by u h U s

c. i h b i u, i nh a

ph, xp , pv pu u. i, -

p h b , pyh f b h up.

th uy hw h u v vy p v up nh a

mu. F h uuy w h qu pu talaq h

wv (whh Qu u p wu u u bw h). F w

h b p , h h hub (khula) .

Motivations

F b i u u b

h. iu wh by u uy h b u pp . s w p h,

y, u h , bw (-

hpp) h b pp .

F h, h i p y f h h

b g. th u y y u y y u

b u, uuy wh p .

thy y k u v bu y h w , hy

h h hy w . ru pp z h

h y h uy, f h w

f h hy uy. th yy bh b u mu h h nikah wh hy ,

ppp h hy b u . i yu by h i , yu

hu by h i .

th py wh u b h p x

bh w. s up wh h h , wh

h uf kw h qu p, w u h w p (uuy h

As private orderin

systems, Muslimmarriage and

divorce continue

to ourish as

expressions o

religious, cultural

and community

identity.

Gettg Dved


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pu talaq). Wh h bw hub w,

w h upp h py (uuy ), bu h uu

i qu h hy k p.

s ub h y h wh h u pp

hy h py. Bu hy z h l- h pp h

iy h (e) hy u, hy w wh

y uhy w h. th u y , w

h vu p h w, u u, v wh h . th y b

u uy, pv pu , py pyh

ppp u u. F w h pby h hy hu b

h hp php y p u.

ru v h p v u (h w p

iddat h h h qu w p ju) (h h wy ). m wy, w w p h whu

u h hub wu u h hy w ,

p .

DiScuSSion:

Why does religious divorce continue to be so important to some Muslims?

At least in theory, men do not need permission or divorce. Is the structure o religious divorce

unair to women? What are the saeguards?

Process and Practice

m u by , wk . a ub

pp by -y b. i up , p h p

u . th jy u , hw, u

b h puw u .


37/48

3

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RepoRt

th p p p, huh h

u. a w u pby wh bh

pu. th wh pph by h w w qu u

wh h hub b pp w qu, k u by by ph h.

s u pp u hy pk wh h hub, p

w pph h u whh hy p wh hub p

h w. thy y b by bkh uy

b hy pp w. oh b h h i w

h w pp wh h w uhppy uw

u h hp, y . th w vuy v

h hub u pp h u. ivu v

h u w w y hw yph hy w

wh p bu h hub u upp h, hp wh h w, h h h w y pu h w.

s u w pp u h h . oh u

ppwk . s qu w b h py h v v b

pp . afatwa h eup cu Fw rh z

u h qu u , wh uh p

y u h nikah p.15 Hw, y

h wh w w h w h yp f b

h u uhy.

P p u hhy y. th h y w, u pp p wh hy

wh hy pph. P b whh p

p u -k, bu h p.


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DiScuSSion:

I a atwa (publicly approved by many North American Muslim leaders) says that a civil

divorce on consent is the equivalent to a religious divorce, is there any need or a separateprocess overseen by the imams?

Access to religious approval or divorce could be more consistent i there were guidelines

or best practice in process and decision-making. What would such guidelines look like?

Financial and Legal Outcomes in Divorce

s ppxy h h h uy h pp

, u y u uh upp, ppy h

uy y h. oh h u h f

qu h . th ky wh bh pu h u wh h . i uh u w

whh h b f u . m y, h w pp

u h upp, b h ju h upp u.

th w h uy whh uy uh

u b uy y wy u.

my , puy h by yu w-u up, p

b y w i pp xp, b hiddat w

p, z talaq h py hmahr, w pyh

upp h ju py u, p

pu upp. th yp h w h uph u wu ky uh py hy h w h uy

k h ppuy p i .

Wh h v f h u, wh p,

w y b pp h y u

upp h p u. th yp u whh ypy


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RepoRt

h h h whh h h. m h h h

h uy h f y h h , 90%

w h. i wh bk pph k by h y u,

h h u y upp, wy h h p. oy h w wh

f y h mahr p u h up h

. a h wh h 5 y

h 20 y h fu hy ppxy 50% (huh h

w hmahry bu b u- upp

whh hy u b u hmahr). my w p h h

h h hy k h , hy w h mahr. Whh

h w , wy p hmahr h . my

p p h y.

au h h h p bw 5 15 y, 17% h 15 y. th uuy px y f

u, w ky y u k ju u y w

pp. o h bw 5 15 y, h

by ( b u wh ), wh h by

u (.. p ). F bu h

h 15 y w w pp by h w h u

b . H k b by ,

h w y y , h w juf u y

w pp h wh hy u ju u. my xp

b f . W wh v u-

pu upp y b b by h u-i, bu hy w h .

a up w h hy wh yh u h

hy wu hv b iy, xp, pu upp h

mahr. i , w p bk u- upp h hub bu

h h y hmahr.


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Social Outcomes

th qu h y w h-

y ju h h h . s w xp

x hu. i w , hy h wh h

h p uy ju. m kw h hy xp ,

bu , ju h h w.

B u ub u y mu uu bu h

ph p h p h u. B

u. s w h , hy w

h h wh wh kp h h, xu

p k w hub. s p k bu

wh w wh h b xu y h

. oy i w w wh f b h b ,

vuy kw h h w h. Wh i pk qu,

w pph w y h hy u h p

u bu hy w b b .

a h h uy b y .

nh, u b w k .

Spiritual Outcomes

th jy v w h h v h h pu

, h hy w p wh h h . my h h

u h h h hp wh g. i ub ,

w w u wh h p h y uy h

k h hy h h h.

DiScuSSion:

What fnancial consequences or divorce child support, property division, support o the

ex-spouseare Islamic and just in a modern society?

How can the community support marriage but also support men and women who eel that

they have no choice but to divorce?


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th w b h uy pp

uy u.

Getting Married

1. th nikah p p h h xp up

xp h b hy . ivu p- u,

p- , p u h u. ru bpnikah

whh h p y b p ppuy h

up k u p h. th uy hw h up

k u up h p pp h . th h

u whh h w w wk u h h, whh h hub xp k

w. n hnikah u wu

u h h u, y b u bw up

b f h .

2. i h p, h p h nikah hu b k uy. i w

y w y f h bw h up. F xp,

u hu b hmahr, py h u h f

h ( u h w y).

3. mup pb h uy . th u h

nikah up u hu b u by h uy .

o h p bu h hp,

uy b w uy. th

xp pyy nh a h h h p u.

4. i qu h ( u) up u wh

h uu xp, - - wh pu w

up nh a h h h W h y uy . th

uy u h f ub h . mu wh h w up

nh a h wh h nh a mu, b

Multiple marriag

is a problem oramilies and or

the community at

large. Te use o th

nikah or multipl

unions should be

discouraged by

imams and other

community leader

remmedts


42/48


uu uy, h h y uy wh

h w up y u wh y xp. i ,

-uu bw w wh h bh w up nh a

xp y yp up h uu.

Marital Confict

5. th qu u h uy w v h

xp. lk h , mu up u wh h

h h hv u h 30 y, bh nh a wh,

w hh u, p wkp,

y y h y wh p . a

uy h u w ub w-u p w, h

mu uy hu py h w h u u

h y u h. th , py w, hub u b p h u. my h p u h

p uy xpy kw h pby w

pw ( u, wk, pub ) wh i, p u

p h b h h.

6. th uy u h h f h hp bw

up h x . th xp

uy yu up. a uh h wh h f

bw h w . Wh h x

y y p mu uu, quy p yu up b b

h w xp, (php py) wh h h h p -w.

7. o h w h uy xp , h , phy xu

u ub , p bu, by h hub. Wh

h u uqu mu u, h u z

u h h y h p w


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4

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RepoRt

u h y w h. th p p h

y h p v, h h pb

u w p, h h u . cuy

v w w v u. sp bk h u py. th hu b u xp,

u wh bh mu -mu .

Staying Married

8. r p u i p h

u. Hw y b ppp wh h h b

, wh py y h hy wh b . W

pu p pu (

y b) whh w ppp uuy u. m uu

wu b h b p u h h u uh .

Getting Divorced

9. d pu p, y h wh pp h

uy xp h upp y, h hk

huh h . m p u qu, uy ,

u x h whh h v

py w , y wy bh upp

bh p u .

10. s b wk w bu

hub, u uuy v. Hwv u

phy, w pu pph h

. s w p -hpp u p v.

g y qu p u bu h pb w pp

p wh h hub h y bu u


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wy h pb. th p u

vp. i p u h u talaq

whu u u.

11. m upp u hu b h qu,

b p w uy u h wh p pph

hp. th p y up mu wy

p wh i h i b

bh f qu. ah h hu b xp h

bh -pv hp bw wy pv p

up.

12. th hhy u xp y ( xp

, , pyy) h mu uy nh a.

my f hv vwh quy pp h vu pxy h y u hy k hp wh. a u

upp h xp, h p u

wk h p by h qu. Wh h

u, h u h vp pz

pp h wk wh .

Fuh h uy u b h bk, i

d nh a: aSharia Ph su sy (ox Uy P 2012)


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4

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Endnotes

1 r t. (2004) W mu h Fuu i ox Uy P nw

Yk 7

2 Wy u by qu h, nv (Qsr i) w

y w . s www.q.

3 e. P, Being Muslim in America (U.s. dp s Buu i

P, 2009), 49, h 27 p mu a a a

4 s xp Kh . nh(2009] o.J. n. 2245, p.67 ; nh . nh,[1996] B.c.J. n. 2720 (s.c.), a . H, [2000] B.c.J, n.m.m. . n.s.m, [2004] B.c.J.

n. 642 (s.c.)

5 s xp ghu J.H. Bu n.J. su c bw Wk

Fy r 10(1)Academy of Management Review (1985) 76 duxbuy, l e., & H,

c.a. g wk-y 76(1)Journal of Applied Psychology(Fbuy

1991) 60

6 squ s. dv a a mu : s, ch su (Sound

Vision magazine b www.u/

7 Bh, r. (1994) v a W: a n c vz suy rp

U.s. dp Ju Buu Ju s, Wh d.c. 6

8 a h f ruk ayub : ayub r. d v h suh

a mu Ppu 9(3)Journal of Social Distress and the Homeless (2000) 1


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9 s F Buu iv U c rp (1990) Wh d.c.

uy wh h mu uy Kuwk, a.d. m, J. 20(3) d v

h ab a Ppu: t ev c huh cuy

eu (1999) Issues in Mental Health Nursing

10 m m. (2004) g mu, B mu: a, h c W, h r

t Ph P nw Yk 18 (m .) (2000) By rh tk

cuu tk: cp ey rh cuu. m s. m' P, l

11 gw Z. (2009) dh by cuu? Hw n k bu i d v

iu s Py U, c mh 5

12 l, Z. th w h Pk mu mup uy

hp i m abb t. () (2010) Hu, v, W i

ru, l 29.

13 th Hy Qu 4:35

14 Hh abu-du, 13 : 3

15 eup cu Fw rh, Fw (17) ru 3/5, ru

u -mu ju ru Fw, s c, t shk

n a-Uby & a o ak, e a o ak & mh a

Hw 2008


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I

sPU p, p hk k h z

u bj, p h xp py y

h p u u , wh ph h u mu h U s u h w. ou h

u a mu wh k h py u a,

ub u u u. isPU h,

p uu p, x-pf y

huh u pub. th v vw p isPU h xp h

y h w isPU, , u.

InstituteforSocial PolicyandUnderstanding

1225 Eye St, NW Suite 307, Washington, D.C. 20005 | 1.800.920.ISPU (4778) | [email protected]

www.ispu.org



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www.ispu.org


understanding trends in american muslim divorce and marriage

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