unit 12.1 applied writing topic 2: language for success in...

Unit 12.1 Applied WritingTopic 2: Language for success in the formal sectorThe focus of Unit 12.1 on the pathways that lead to careers is extended in Topic 2, where a variety of different text types with a more formal style are introduced: reports, advertisements, job descriptions, testimonials and references (Syllabus p. 16).

Responding to such texts requires a more crafted and developed formal writing style and so Topic 2 outlines, explains and demonstrates the following techniques for proofreading and editing:• Editing and proofreading. • Structure.• Sentence form.• Punctuation.• Word choice.

IntroductionThe formal sector includes writing and speaking for academic purposes, for business, for interaction with government departments, for interaction with funding bodies, for interaction with non government organisations (NGOs) and others. The kind of communication used is described as ‘formal’.

There are five levels of language styles (also called registers) in English speech and writing:

1. The very formal style used for important public ceremonies.2. The formal style used for all public communications of a serious nature.3. The modified formal style used for general-purpose public communication.4. The colloquial style of ordinary, everyday communication.5. The very colloquial style based on slang.

1. The ceremonial formal styleThis is the style used by toastmasters, in sermons, in political welcoming speeches, in delivering of policies, and so on. This style has the following characteristics:

• Vocatives (nouns, pronouns and adjectives used in addressing or invoking a person or thing) are used. For example, Oh God, we call on you; My Lords; Ladies and Gentlemen.

• Old-fashioned language is used. For example, I beg to move …; pray silence for His Excellency; the Honourable Member.

• The subjunctive mood is used. For example, let the word go forth; let no man put asunder; be it known that; be that as it may; if I were you; it is important that they be aware of the provisions of the Act. (The subjunctive mood is used to express situations which are hypothetical or not yet realised.)

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Unit 12.1 Applied Writing

© Oxford University Press www.oup.com.au

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2. The formal styleThis style is characterised by:

• Use of many abstract nouns denoting concepts. For example, integration, ideology, signification.

• Use of single transitive verbs rather than phrasal verbs. For example, discover rather than find out; contact rather than get in touch with. (A transitive verb is a verb that takes an object: You will discover The Truth.).

• Use of complex sentences with embedded clauses and phrases. For example, The large corporate organisations, with interests spread across media and other sectors of the economy, that are the logical result of the process of concentration, are known as multi-media conglomerations.

• Use of the conjunction that at the beginning of dependent clauses. For example, The Prime Minister stated that the matter was being investigated.

• Frequent use of the passive voice. For example, The matter was being investigated.• The absence of colloquial language and slang.

3. The modified formal styleThis style is generally less stiff than the formal style and flows more easily, especially in speech. It is characterised by:

• A greater number of plain English words.• The used of phrasal as well as single verbs.• A preference for the active voice – for people doing things rather than for action

expressed by abstract nouns. For example, Political correctness encourages people to avoid terms that may discriminate against others, rather than Political correctness encourages the avoidance of any terms that may lead to social discrimination.

• The frequent omission of that at the head of dependent clauses. For example, The Prime Minister said the matter was being investigated.

• The use of abbreviated verb forms, particularly in speech (wouldn’t, couldn’t, isn’t).

Unit 12.1 Activity 2A: Formal language in textsRead the newspaper report ‘Genomic groups of PNG bananas’ and the PNG LNG ‘Economic impacts’ information sheet (pp. 47–51) and discuss the use of formal language in both.

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47Topic 2: Language for success in the formal sector


Genomic groups of PNG bananasBy ROSA KAMBUOUPAPUA New Guinea has a rich diversity in edible and wild banana species.

It is important that PNG rural farmers, who are the owners of these valuable resources, are encouraged to properly conserve, manage and sustainably utilise this diversity to sustain their household food and nutritional status.

Once their food and nutritional status is secured, their livelihood will be enhanced and elevated and surplus production can provide income-earning opportu-nities for the farmers and their families.

PNG has a rich genetic diversity of edible banana species and a home to 10 wild bananas of which one species, Musa ingens, which has its “centre of origin” in the highlands. It is the largest herb in the world and is only found in PNG.

The bananas belonged to the family Musaceae, and PNG has two Musaceae genera – the Ensete and the Musa.

The genus Ensete is wild and has one species, the Ensete glaucum.

Genus Musa has three sections–the Eumusa,

Australimusa and Ingen-timusa.

The section Eumusa is where edible bananas are evolved from and it has three species in PNG – Musa acuminate, M balbisiana and M schizocarpa.

The Australimusa sec-tion contributes the edible Fei’i group of bananas that have bunches grow-ing erect or sideways (eg cultivar Sar, found in the mainland of Manus Island and in Madang).

Five wild species are classified under this sec-tion (Musa maclayi, M boman, M peeke-lii, M bukensis, and

M lolodensis) and one introduced species of Musa textalis or com-monly known as Abacca.

The genus Musa has 10 species and they are found throughout the country, mostly in wild rainforest habitats.

Some of these rich habitats are at high risk of being disturbed due to lumbering activities, large clearing for agricul-tural developments and the construction of roads and bridges.

The edible cooking bananas of PNG are natural crosses, mostly between Musa accumi-nata x Musa balbisiana.

TetraploidsTriploidsDiploids

Number of different Genomes in PNGBananas

AAAA

AAATAA

TAA

S

AAB

AAAASABAA

01020304050607080

ABB

Number of differentGenomes in PNG Bananas

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There are some cultivars that evolved from natural crosses between M accuminata x M schizo-carpa and examples of such cultivars are Vunamami (PNG 144), Ato (PNG 187) and Kokor (PNG 123).

In the natural crosses, Musa acuminate provides the A chromosome while Musa balbisiana provides the B chromosome.

A natural cross where M schizocarpa is involved, it provides the S chro-mosome and, where Australimusa is involved, it provides the T chromo-some.

Most of the cooking bananas of PNG are categorised into genomic groups of Diploid AA, Triploid ABB and AAB and few Tetraploids AAAA or ABBT.

There are very few edible diploid AS such as cultivar Ato from Madang and cultivar Vunamami from East New Britain.

There are also very few edible triploids AAT such as cultivar Sar found in the Erima area of Madang and in the main-land of Manus Island.

The only two ABBT tetraploid cultivars that were collected during the collecting expeditions were Yawa 2 from Rabaul and Giant Kalapua from Madang.

Some common diploid AA cultivars includes Babi (Vudu Papua), Kurisa, Kekiau, Maleb, Manameg Red and Gonub. The popular cul-tivars of ABB are the Kalapuas.

The triploid AAB are mostly found in the high-lands of PNG and some common cultivars include Rukumamb, Rukumamb Tambey, Yaurie and Kerua.

The internationally important dessert banana variety, Cavendish, belongs to the triploid AAA genome.

Cultivar Buka from the island of Bougainville is a common AABB tetra-ploid.

Over the years, staff from the Department of Agriculture and Live-stock (DAL) and NARI have collected around 500 farmer cultivars/landraces or accessions of bananas from all the genomic groups (AA, AS, ABB, AAB, AAT, AABB & ABBT).

The PNG national banana germplasm col-lection, or Gene-bank, is housed at the NARI Southern regional centre, Laloki, and currently holds 217 accessions/landraces and 10 inter-national varieties and hybrids that were intro-duced specifically for their resistance to Sigatoka

(Mycosphaerella fijiensis) leaf disease complex.

Some 500 accessions were collected from farm-ers’ fields and gardens throughout the country through national and international govern-ments-sponsored col-lecting expeditions in the past. During the col-lecting expeditions, both wild and landraces were collected.

Wild species and some diploid AA accessions did not survive the ex situ field conditions at Laloki, which contributed to the decline in the number of the current collection.

The PNG national gene-bank holds acces-sions or farmer cultivars collected from all over the country. There are in total 79 accessions of dip-loid AAs, 42 of triploids AAAs, 37 of ABBs, 33 of AABs and 4 accessions of tetraploid AAAAs.

The work on banana research and develop-ment (R&D), in relation to genetic resources col-lection, conservation, management and use, was initiated by DAL in the late seventies.

The banana R&D work is now under NARI and is managed and coor-dinated by the genetic resources team based at NARI Laloki.

The accessions in the collection are being

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preliminary assessed for their agronomic potential as well as selection for tolerance and resistance to biotic and abiotic con-dition, especially adapta-tion to climatic changes including drought and salinity conditions.

Each accession in the collection is described morphologically through

the use of a standard descriptor list developed by the predecessor of Bioversity Interna-tional, the International Plant Genetic Resource Institute (IPGRI).

A study is currently underway to screen PNG bananas for their high carotene (pVACs) contents.

Preliminary findings so far revealed some PNG diploid AA cultivars having high pVACs contents, ranging from 1,276–3,428 μg/100g. Car-otene is rich in Vitamin A and C and is responsible for reducing and control-ling “night blindness”, diabetes and heart and kidney problems.

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Editing and proofreading formal writingIt is most likely that you will use the modified formal style more frequently in your school work and future life. Any formal writing or speaking you do needs to be planned carefully and must follow a number of steps to be successful. An important step is that of editing and proofreading, as mistakes will distract from the effectiveness of your communication and presentation.

The types of texts you will meet include:

• Career information texts.• Institution brochures and pamphlets.• Newspaper advertisements.• Application forms.• Job descriptions.• Personal references.• Reports.

The information in the rest of this Topic is about crafting and developing formal writing by outlining, explaining and demonstrating the techniques for proofreading and editing: structure, sentence form, punctuation and word choice.

Accuracy and coherence in writing are always important. An author writes to communicate – and communication is more effective when the writing is accurately organised and presented.

Accuracy includes:

• Words spelled correctly.• Sentences following accepted forms of syntax.• Words and sentences following accepted conventions of punctuation.

Coherence includes:

• Choosing the best words to convey meaning.• Punctuating to increase clarity.• Choosing the best sentence form to convey meaning.• Organising the sentences in paragraphs to express and link ideas into a logical whole.

Proofreading and editing skills will help you meet these criteria.

Editing and proofreadingEditing involves applying the skills of logical analysis to a writing draft. Editing makes sure that the best words are used in the best order within sentences and paragraphs, sections and/or chapters (depending how lengthy the written piece is – essay, short story or book).

Proofreading ensures accuracy of spelling, punctuation and syntax (sentence form).

Carrying out editing and proofreadingThe process of writing involves thinking and planning, drafting, polishing and publishing. Editing is carried out after the writing of the first draft, and as subsequent drafts are developed; proofreading occurs after the final draft.

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Editing usually comes before proofreading – it’s no use correcting the spelling of words or the grammar of a sentence that may be deleted during editing.

Edit first, making sure the writing is well organised and ideas are logically expressed in the best style possible.

Proofread for accuracy of sentences and punctuation.

Proofread for accuracy of spelling.

Proofread again for particular weaknesses you are aware of in your own writing (eg a lot presented as alot; missing possessive apostrophes; the

spelling of terms such as onomatopoeia).

Editing and proofreading formal writingMake sure of the conventions of the genre in which you are writing before beginning editing.

Strategies for good structureThe structure or organisation of a piece of writing can make a big difference to its effectiveness.

Use logical organisation to make the best impact on the reader for every kind of formal writing.

• Plan well.• Check that writing includes an introduction, body paragraphs (usually a minimum of

three that explain ideas), and a conclusion.

Ensure ideas are linked logically in relation to one another by:

• Referring to earlier mentioned ideas or words and phrases used using pronouns such as these, those, this or pronouns such as it, he, she, they.

• Repeating or restating ideas and words.

Use connectives:

• To add an idea – use and, also, as well, in addition.• To give a reason – use therefore, consequently, so.• To highlight – use particularly, in particular.• To reverse thought – use but, yet, instead of, rather, however. • To emphasise – use indeed, of course, in fact, certainly.

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• To compare – use also, similarly, likewise.• To summarise – use in short, on the whole, finally, briefly, to sum up.

Check body paragraphs are arranged logically and link with one another to show the relationship of the ideas they contain. Words and phrases that link paragraphs include Another aspect of this topic…; In contrast to this idea/example…; Extending these ideas…; As well as this…

Avoid false arguments. Some of the false arguments essay writers should edit out of their work include:

• Sweeping general statements based on scanty evidence (eg ‘All young drivers are irresponsible’).

• Absolutes – words like ‘never’, and ‘always’ used to try and prove a point.• Emotive language – words such as ‘squatter’ and ‘two kina’ tend to reveal the writer’s

prejudices rather than their good arguments.• One-sided arguments – only the pros or cons of an argument are given, resulting in a

lack of balance.• Bad use of statistics – eg, applied to something not measurable, such as ‘The teenagers

of today are 10% less reliable than twenty years ago’.• False authority – claiming more expertise in a matter than the writer is entitled to.• Repetition – saying something over and over again does not make it true.• Blinding with science – overuse of technical jargon so that it is difficult to understand the

ideas or argument presented.

Strategies for getting sentences rightThe most effective way to spot mistakes in sentence form (syntax) is to read your writing aloud to yourself, or better still, to someone else. Errors in sentence structure and punctuation can usually be heard through this method, even when they cannot be seen on the page by a writer.

Sentences in formal (and creative) writing must follow the conventions of grammar.

Common sentence form mistakes and remedies

Run-on sentences

Carefully check any sentence that has one comma (,) in it – it could be a run-on sentence, also sometimes known as a ‘comma splice’ (a non-grammatical structure where two separate ideas are linked by a comma).

✗ John was a good-looking boy, he played rugby for his school.

This can be corrected in two ways:

• Add a conjunction.✓ John was a good-looking boy and he played rugby for his school.

• Make two sentences.✓ John was a good-looking boy. He played rugby for his school.

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Sentence fragments

A sentence fragment is a group of words that lacks one or more of the components – eg a subject, a main verb or main clause – that, if present, would make it a grammatical sentence.

✗ Conclusions that are drawn quickly.

This fragment is a dependent clause describing conclusions. It needs a main clause to make sense:

✓ Conclusions that are drawn quickly may not be valid.

✗ Four days before the storm began.

This fragment does not contain a verb so it is not a complete sentence. Add a new verb and/or subject to form a complete sentence:

✓ The town prepared for the worst four days before the storm began.

Split infinitives

The infinitive form of the verb (eg to eat) should not be split unless necessary.

✗ She hoped to, by training every day, win the cross-country championship.✓ She hoped to win the cross-country championship by training every day.

Dangling modifiers

Dangling modifiers are words or phrases that do not logically refer to any word or word group in a sentence.

✗ Going to school, it is a good idea to be prepared.✓ It is a good idea to be prepared to go to school.

Other sentence problems

Tenses

Tenses must be used consistently. Be aware of the conventions that govern these.

Example When film reviewers write about the events in a film they use the present tense.

Main idea

Aim to have one main idea in each sentence.

Use active sentence constructions

An active sentence construction is a sentence in which the subject ‘carries out’ the action of the verb. This gives writing a more lively and assertive tone.

An unleashed dog attacked the elderly man.

Active sentence construction is usually preferred to passive construction. Passive construction is when the subject ‘undergoes’ the action of the verb – can give writing a ponderous tone.

The elderly man was attacked by an unleashed dog.

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Use a variety of kinds of sentences

Complex sentences effectively convey the parts of an argument; short simple sentences can make a strong point at the conclusion of a paragraph; compound sentences link ideas of equal weight.

Sentence punctuation

Capital letters

Ensure every sentence begins with a capital letter and ends with a full stop.

Avoid developing a handwriting style that includes ‘random’ capital letters.

Direct speech/dialogue

Words characters actually say should be enclosed in speech marks “ ’’. Direct speech is preceded and followed by punctuation.

Steven walked in. “I need to see you,” he said. Mary called out, “Give me the axe!” I handed it over.

Quotations

Words quoted from another text must be enclosed in quotation marks (‘ ’). If words are omitted from a quote, use an ellipsis (‘three full stops’) to indicate this.

‘Sir Michael Somare… is PNG’s most famous Prime Minister.’

Apostrophes

Apostrophes are used to show possession/ownership.

The old man filled the cat’s bowl. (The old man has one cat, and the cat ‘owns/possesses’ the bowl – apostrophe before the s.)

The old man filled the cats’ bowl. (The old man has three cats and they all ‘own/possess’ one bowl – apostrophe after the s.)

When the owner is plural and does not end in s (eg men, women, children), add ’s. The men’s dogs chased the pigs into the bush. (The men ‘own/possess’ the dogs – apostrophe before the s.)

Be careful not to use apostrophes with regular plural forms.

The cats are lying in the sun. (There are a number of cats that are doing something – no possessive apostrophe is needed.)

Apostrophes are also used to show missing letters.

I will → I’ll they are → they’re do not → don’t it is → it’s

Possessive pronouns (its, his, hers, ours, yours) do not take apostrophes.

The dog scratched its fleas. (Its has no apostrophe.)

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Strategies for choosing the right wordsFormal writing should express ideas clearly and coherently.

• Choose the most precise word to express meaning.• Avoid multisyllabic Latinate words (words with many syllables of Latin origin) where

possible – too many of these words can give writing a pretentious tone.Use understand instead of comprehend, imprison instead of incarcerate, escape or avoid instead of elude.

• Avoid repeating a word or phrase too often.• Delete all clichés (overused phrases).• Use superlatives with caution – they can make writing sound over-emphatic and affect

tone.It was the most fiercely contested election. The protester had the best arguments

• Delete qualifiers – such as really, truly, very, rather, quite – unless there is a specific reason for their use.

• Tone – check the words chosen convey the appropriate tone. Informal words and phrases will not be appropriate in an academic essay.

Formal writing – an example of editing and proofreadingSangi was assigned to write a review of Oliver Stone’s film Platoon after studying it in class.

The editing and proofreading process

Step 1After completing the first draft, Sangi analysed the structure of his review to check that he had included:

• A clear opinion and outline of the approach of the review in the introduction.• Topic sentences in each paragraph and specific details from the film to support points

made.• A conclusion linked to the introduction.

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Draft #1

“Platoon, War movie of today”

This movie is one of Stone’s masterpieces, topping my personal list of greatest action war movies. It has everything needed for great entertainment: awesome action packed battles with added spectacular special effects, the plot has depth and meaning setting it apart from other action war movies of today and the entertaining character development of Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen) is fascinating to watch.

The year is 1967 and Chris arrives in Vietnam as a volunteer PFC. The two sergants of the platoon Barnes (Tom Berenger) and Elias (William Dafoe) are tied up in a persinal quarrel which in the end splits the whole platoon into followers of good and evil. Chris gets carght up in this quarrel with the susspicious death of Elias, getting him into all sorts of trouble.

The action packed battles are a major triumph for Stone. During these scenes he uses all the right elements to create these caotic contacts. For a start, he sets the scene by taking you on a scenic birds-eye view of the valleys and jungles to their drop off points, then to link this he does the same leaving the battle scene. In one scene at the end of the vietcong bunker complex battle, Elias is left behind looking up and reaching to the helicopter as it departes. the camera angle is a point of view shot, showing his desperation to be rescued.

Also in these battles scenes Stone has incorperated effective special effects on a large scale. As the platoon is surrounded in their base, the incompetent Lt Wolf orders the air strike on them. The bombs land and the whole screen lights up with the tremendous exposion and fire of the napalm. These effects and camera work effectivly set the scene for the battles and show the audience how terrifying war was for these men.

Chris Taylors’ character development throughout the film is outstanding. It realy gives the viewer a sense of the impact of the war on him. Charlie Sheens’ performance was very well done partly because of the exellent plot in the movie that evolves around him. Chris’ character and attitudes clearly change in the film, even the small things say a lot for example; when he first arrived he is deressed formal but as time progresses he losens up as he fells more comfortable in battle and in base.

This film will move your opinion on action war movies as it is a war movie of a new era in these genre of film. A very unique film in which I highly reccomend you see.

Structure – point of view clearly stated and outline of the review’s approach is included.

Paragraph is a good summary of events in the film, but should explain more about ‘good and evil’.

Structure – more detail needed here – what is linked, which battle?

Structure – more detail of special effects needed in this paragraph.

Structure – paragraph needs many more precise details from the film that show Chris’s character.

Structure – conclusion needs to be linked more clearly with the introduction.

Editing analysisConventions – Add film details to title to keep conventions correct; add Stone’s first name on first mention: ‘Oliver’.

Structure – topic sentence used well.

Conventions – actors’ names follow character names.

Step 2In draft 2, Sangi replaced and added material to improve detail and structural links (new material is underlined). Sangi also checked that he had used film review conventions correctly.

Step 3Next, Sangi proofread his review, checking for suitable word choice and expression, errors in sentence structure, spelling and punctuation. He identified these and corrected them in his second draft (errors are underlined and italicised).

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Draft #2


This movie is one of Stone’s masterpieces, topping my personal list of greatest action war movies. It has everything needed for great entertainment: awesome action packed battles with added spectacular special effects, the plot has depth and meaning setting it apart from other action war movies of today and the entertaining character development of Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen) is fascinating to watch.

The year is 1967 and Chris arrives in Vietnam as a volunteer PFC. The two sergants of the platoon Barnes (Tom Berenger) and Elias (William Dafoe) are tied up in a persinal quarrel which in the end splits the whole platoon. Barnes is a battle hardened veteran who will stop at nothing to meet his military objectives. For him the end always justifies the means. In contrast, veteran Elias is an idealist who has begun to question the value of making war on the vietcong. Chris gets carght up in this quarrel after he witnesses the susspicious death of Elias, getting him into all sorts of trouble.

The action packed battles are a major triumph for Stone. During these scenes he uses all the right elements to create these caotic contacts. For a start, he sets the scene by taking you on a scenic birds-eye view of the valleys and jungles to their drop off points, then to link this he does the same leaving the main battle scene at the end of the film. In one scene at the end of the vietcong bunker complex battle, Elias is left behind looking up and reaching to the helicopter as it departes. The camera angle is a point of view shot, showing his desperation to be rescued.

Also in these battles scenes Stone has incorperated effective special effects on a large scale. In the first ‘contact’ with the vietcong, Stone uses a combination of darkness and the bright flashes of booby trap mines and gunfire to show the intense atmosphere of the encounter and the difficulties and confusion of the platoon’s two new PFC’s. Later in the film, as the platoon is surrounded in their base, the incompetent Lt Wolf (Mark Moses) orders the air strike on them. The bombs land and the whole screen lights up with the tremendous exposion and fire of the napalm. These effects and camera work effectivly set the scene for the battles and show the audience how terrifying war was for these men.

Chris Taylors’ character development throughout the film is outstanding. He develops from an average unexperienced new recruit to a tough fighter who is more comfortable in the art of war. For example at the start he is paralysed with fear in his first contact with the vietcong but in the final battle he courageously runs at the enmy killing numerous vietcong soldiers. Charlie Sheens performance is very good. When you see him at the start of the film he realistically portrays a college boy who is very confused about life. But his triumphs and hardships earn him respect and a ticket into Elias’s ‘heads’ social circle. Overall, Taylor’s character was very convincing.

This film will dramatically change your opinion on action war movies as it is a war movie of a new era where it’s much more than “blood ‘n’guts”. This is a very unique film in that I highly reccomend you see.

‘Exciting’ replaces ‘awesome’ (a cliché, and too informal in tone).Second sentence rewritten – too long; too many ideas.

‘chaotic’.Replace ‘For a start’ and ‘their’ with more precise phrases, eg ‘At the start of the film’, ‘the platoon’s’2nd sentence is a run-on sentence. Divide into two: ‘points. To create a link he does...’‘Vietcong’, ‘departs’.

Proofreading corrections

‘sargeants’Punctuation needed – commas around the noun phrase ‘Barnes... Dafoe’‘personal’.

‘incorporated’.‘Vietcong’.

‘explosion’.‘effectively’.

Possessive apostrophe in the wrong position – ‘Taylor’s’.‘inexperienced’.‘Vietcong’.‘enemy’, ‘Vietcong’Apostrophe: ‘Sheen’s’.

‘recommend’.

‘Vietcong’ – check capitalisation of proper nouns.‘caught’, ‘suspicious’.

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Step 4Sangi published his edited and proofread review and submitted it for assessment.


Platoon

R16

Starring Charlie Sheen, William Dafoe, Tom Berenger, Mark Moses, John McGinley.

Directed by Oliver Stone, 1987

This movie is one of Oliver Stone’s masterpieces, topping my personal list of greatest-action war movies. It has everything needed for great entertainment such as exciting action-packed battles with added spectacular special effects and a plot with depth and meaning setting it apart from other action war movies of today. The film also reveals the entertaining character development of Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen) which is fascinating to watch.

The year is 1967 and Chris arrives in Vietnam as a volunteer PFC. The two sergeants of the platoon, Barnes (Tom Berenger) and Elias (William Dafoe), are tied up in a personal quarrel which in the end splits the whole platoon. Barnes is a battle hardened veteran who will stop at nothing to meet his military objectives. For him the end always justifies the means. In contrast, veteran Elias is an idealist who has begun to question the value of making war on the Vietcong. Chris gets caught up in this quarrel after he witnesses the suspicious death of Elias, getting him into all sorts of trouble.

The action-packed battles are a major triumph for Stone. During these scenes he uses all the right elements to create these chaotic contacts. At the start of the film he sets the scene by taking you on a scenic birds-eye view of the valleys and jungles to the platoon’s drop off points. To create the link he does the same leaving the main battle scene at the end of the film. In one scene at the end of the Vietcong bunker complex battle, Elias is left behind looking up and reaching to the helicopter as it departs. The camera angle is a point of view shot, showing his desperation to be rescued.

Also in these battles scenes Stone has incorporated effective special effects on a large scale. In the first ‘contact’ with the Vietcong, Stone uses a combination of darkness and the bright flashes of booby trap mines and gunfire to show the intense atmosphere of the encounter and the difficulties and confusion of the platoon’s two new PFCs. Later in the film, as the platoon is surrounded in their base, the incompetent Lt Wolf (Mark Moses) orders the air strike on them. The bombs land and the whole screen lights up with the tremendous explosion and fire of the napalm. These effects and camera work effectively set the scene for the battles and show the audience how terrifying war was for these men.

Chris Taylor’s character development throughout the film is outstanding. He develops from an average inexperienced new recruit to a tough fighter who is more comfortable in the art of war. For example, at the start he is paralysed with fear in his first contact with the Vietcong but in the final battle he courageously runs at the enemy killing numerous Vietcong soldiers. Charlie Sheen’s performance is very good. When you see him at the start of the film he realistically portrays a college boy who is very confused about life. But his triumphs and hardships earn him respect and a ticket into Elias’s ‘heads’ social circle. Overall, I found Taylor’s character very convincing.

This film will dramatically change your opinion on action war movies as it is a war movie of a new era where it’s much more than “blood ‘n’guts”. This is a unique film that I highly recommend you see.

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Unit 12.1 Activity 2B: Writing a personal projectionUsing the information on formal style, editing and proofreading, write a personal projection on opportunities for using your education in your future life.

Writing a curriculum vitae (CV), letter of application and reference

A CV or résumé is used when you apply for a job. It is a brief account of your education, qualifications and previous jobs. You need to be straightforward and brief when writing a CV.

The usual headings are:

1. Name (this means your full and formal name).2. Address (including phone numbers).3. Qualifications (what certificates or level of education you have reached).4. Employment history (any jobs you have held, with the dates of employment listed in

order from least recent to most recent).5. Referees (people who can provide a recommendation about you to the potential

employer).

Unit 12.1 Activity 2C: Writing a CVUse the outline above to write your own CV for one of the jobs at Ela Motors (see pp.62–63below).Asyouhaveprobablynotyethadmanyjobs,ortherelevantqualifications, be creative and make some up. Try to be brief and relevant when writing about your skills. Think of what evidence you can provide that you are the best candidate for this particular job. Use the lists given with each job to guide you.

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Covering letter of applicationIt is usual to write a covering letter of application to go with your CV. This outlines your interest in and suitability for the particular job you are applying for. The covering letter should tell the potential employer the skills you think would make you the best candidate and briefly explain why you have applied for the job. The covering letter should clearly indicate which job you are applying for.

Unit 12.1 Activity 2D: Formal letter of applicationChooseoneofthejobsintheElaMotorsadvertisement(pp.62–63)andwriteaformalletter of application. Follow this outline:1. The name and address of the workplace and person you are contacting.2. Where you saw the advertisement.3. Which job you are applying for.4. Why you are applying for the job (your interest).5. A reason why you are particularly well-suited to the job – what do you have to offer?6. A formal ending with your signature above your complete name.Good references will help you get the job you want. You need to approach people well in advance and ask them if they would be prepared to provide you with a written reference. Try to ask a range of respected people – you might have a teacher who would give you a character reference and a previous employer who could attest to your skills in the workplace. You must include the address and phone number of each of your referees.

Unit 12.1 Activity 2E: Letter of referenceImagine you have been approached by a person you know to write a reference for them. Use your creativity to give yourself status as a respected person. Use formal language and be objective.

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unit 12.1 applied writing topic 2: language for success in...

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