Unit 6

Cross-Gender Communication

1. Learn the differences of sex and gender;

2. Learn the differences of feminine and

masculine communication cultures;

3. Learn to understand cross-gender

communication.

Objectives

Contents

Lead-in 1

Text Study2

Practice33

Summary44

Homework5

Expressions related to two genders

• Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

• There’re three types of human beings: men, women and women doctors.

• Man and woman are like two hedgehogs in winter: too close, get hurt; too far away, get lonely and cold.

• Is it possible to get a confidante or confidant in reality?

• “ 别瞎说，我们只是好朋友而已。”听到这种台词，相必一大帮人会带着一副原来如此的表情在心里说“且……”。

• 我只听过一句话“不要让你的女朋友有蓝颜知己，因为蓝着蓝着你就绿了，不要让你的男朋友有红颜知己，因为红着红着你俩就黄了”我觉得很对。

• 在幼儿园里存在，还有就是耄耋之年有，这中间的年龄段绝对是挑战。

无论红颜蓝颜，都是替补队员

理论上当然有，两个条件：长得足够难看，情商足够高。

据说 90+ 的妹子认为存在的 90+ 的男人认为不存在

如果这个世界有鬼存在的话，我就会相信有红颜知己存在。

1. Lead-in

How could you explain to Li Hua’s parents about the relationship between Li Hua and John? How could you explain to John Li Hua’s parents’ behavior?

Case 1 I’ve not considered marriage

yet.

comment

• The case shows man and woman’s different attitudes toward their relationship, and the parents’ attitudes regarding children’s love and marriage in Chinese culture.

• To John 6 months not lead to marriage

• To Li Hua time to bring John to meet parents

• To Li Hua’s parents treat John as a future son-in-law

background marriage plans

misunderstanding conflict

Case 2 Can we talk about us?

This shows a common type of clash in cross-gender communication.

For women, their relationship is a popular topic, while for men, it is not a focus. Men use talk to solve problems rather than to enhance their relationship.

Women think if they are talking with each other, then everything is going smoothly.

For Ben, Anna’s suggestion to talk about their relationship is pointless. For Anna, Ben’s reluctance and lack of interest in talking simply hurt her feelings.

Case 3 Feeling left –outIn public, the norms of expressing one’s feelings

and affections toward the opposite sex varies across culture. In Asia and some countries around the Mediterranean Sea, it is acceptable to have body contact between the same sex in public, but not between the opposite sexes, especially in front of the friends. Chen left because he felt awkward witnessing them hugging and kissing. This shows that Dick knows nothing about the natural response of the Chinese to certain behaviors. Similarly, Chen Liang’s behavior shows that he is also in the dark about American behaviors.

2. Text Study Please read Sex and Gender in your textbook

from page 119 to 120 and answer the following questions.

1.What is sex? And what is gender?

2. What is the difference between sex and gender?

Indicate sexual identities

• Sex is determined by genetic codes that program biological features.

• Man woman

• Male female

Gender is more complex than sex.

masculine and feminine

Sex is determined by genetics and biology, while gender is produced by society.

sex gender

biologicalpermanentindividual property

socially constructedvaried over time and across culturessocial and relational quality

Please read Feminine and Masculine Communication Cultures in your textbook from page 120 to 123 and answer the following

questions.

• What are the basic rules of boy’s or girls interaction?

• What are the differences between feminine and masculine communication culture?

Girls’ Games

(unstructured, cooperative)

• Be cooperative, collaborative, and inclusive

• Don’t criticize or outdo others.

• Pay attention to other’s feelings and needs

Boy’s games

(more structured, large,

individualized)

• Assert yourself.• Focus on outdoors.• Be competitive.

Summary

• Girls’ games occur within a gender culture that emphasizes cooperation, sensitivity toward others, and experience more than outcome.

• Boys’ games emphasize achievement, both for the team and for the individual members.

Differences between Feminine and Masculine Communication Culture

Feminine Talk1.Use talk to build and sustain rapport with others.2. Share yourself and learn about others through disclosing3. Use talk to create symmetry or equality between people

Masculine Talk

1. Use talk to assert yourself and your ideas.

2. Personal disclosures can make you vulnerable

3. Use talk to establish your status and power

4. Matching experiences with others shows understanding and empathy

5. To support others, express understanding of their feelings.

6. Include others in conversation by asking their opinions and encouraging them to elaborate.

4. Matching experiences is a competitive strategy to command attention.

5. To support others, do something helpful

6. Don’t share the talk stage with others, wrest it from them with communication. Interrupt others to make your own points.

7. Keep the conversation going by asking questions and showing interest in others’ ideas.

8. Be responsive. Let others know you hear and care about what they say.

9. Be tentative so that others feel free to add their ideas.

10. Talking is a human relationship in which details and interesting side comments enhance depth of connection

7. Each person is on her or his own; it’s not your job to help others join in.

8. Use responses to make your own points and to outshine others.

9. Be assertive so others perceive you as confident and in command.

10. Talking is a linear sequence that should convey information and accomplish goals.

Four Examples

• What counts as support?

• Tricky feedback

• Expressing care

• I’d rather do it myself.

Six Principles

• Suspend judgement.

• Recognize the validity of different communication styles

• Provide translation cues.

• Seek translation cues.

• Enlarge your own communication style

• Suspend judgement