unscheduled delay

7/22/2019 Unscheduled Delay

1/35

THE MINDY PROJECT

"Unscheduled Delay"

Written bycalmdowncheryl

Based onMindy Kalings "The Mindy Project"

December 29, 2013 calmdowncheryl.tumblr.com/ask


2/35

COLD OPEN

1 INT. DANNYS OFFICE - MORNING

DANNY is sitting at his desk, red reading glasses perched at

the end of his nose. He carefully sips on some coffee whilefinishing the paper. Sudden, frantic KNOCKING at his doorcauses him to spill some coffee on his lab coat.

DANNY(groan)

MINDY (O.S.)(through the door)

Danny!

He sets his coffee down and instinctively starts dabbing hiscoat with the newspaper. He realizes he has now

inadvertently ruined his paper.

DANNY(more exaggerated groan)

MINDY (O.S.)DANNYYYY! I need you!

He jumps to his feet to get his coat off before the stainsets. The knocking has turned into POUNDING.

DANNYITS OPEN!!

MINDY (O.S.)Its locked!

Danny has only gotten half his lab coat off when he takesannoyed strides to the door. He twists the doorknob, andthe door flies open. MINDY whirls in, a tornado of pink.

DANNYYou made me spill my coffee!

MINDYThis is an emergency!

Mindy commandeers Dannys desk. She opens his laptop andstarts typing. Danny finally manages to get his lab coatoff. He hangs his lab coat onto his coat rack, and gets afresh, clean lab coat out of his closet. As he slides iton, he stares at Mindy expectantly. Mindy obliviously keepstyping.

(CONTINUED)


3/35

CONTINUED: 2.

DANNYWhat the hells the emergency?

MINDYMy browser froze while I was in themiddle of a Craigslist purchase.

Danny looks around at no one and throws his arms up indisbelief.

DANNY(sarcastically)

Oh, Jesus, no, not that, anythingbut that!

Mindy is focused intently on the laptop screen.

DANNY (contd)Craigslist? Seriously?

Mindy nods, seriously. Danny folds his arms, looking almostpaternal.

DANNY (contd)Well, its all fun and games untilsomeone dies.

MINDYDanny, you always hyperbolizeeverything.

DANNYOh, oh, I hyperbolize? Given lightof what just happened,

(gestures to Mindy)pot,

(gestures to himself)kettle.

Mindy finally looks up at him, her muscle memory taking overthe job of entering her credit card number and securitycode. As Mindy speaks, Danny gets more upset.

MINDYHonestly, I think you have a

problem with blowing things way outof proportion and subsequentlygetting angry. First, your fistsball up. Jaw clenches -- yep, justlike that. Temples popping out andthrobbing.

Mindys eyes start to lose focus. Danny calms just a bit andrefocuses his energy into tolerating this upcoming tangent.

(CONTINUED)


4/35

CONTINUED: 3.

MINDY (contd)Its not as much of a passionate,Italian-Catholic kind of anger thatyour surname would suggest. Like,its not mob angry; Im not gonnaavoid tollbooths or look for

horses heads. Its much more of anIrish-Catholic kind of anger, likebrothers boxing. The Fighter,Mickey Ward---

Danny snaps his fingers, as if Mindys a dog.

DANNYHey! Hey!

Mindy blinks rapidly, regaining focus.

DANNY (contd)

My only "problem" is you barging inhere like you own the place---

MINDYI technically do own 1/4th of theplace---

DANNYAnd I am not hyperbolizing, okay?Craigslist? CRAIGSLIST?! How manytimes did you make me watch thatLifetime movie about the killerwith the weird sex stuff? Killed

tons of women!

MINDYDidnt you finish the movie? Hesdead now.

She goes back to her task.

DANNYCan you at least explain why youneed to use my laptop?

He marches over to the desk to see what shes doing, butMindy slams his laptop closed and rests her elbows on it,shooting him an innocent look.

MINDYI already told you! My wifi wasntworking.

(CONTINUED)


5/35

CONTINUED: 4.

DANNYBut the routers in your office.

MINDYDanny! Im so proud of you! Youfinally learned what a router is!

She smiles and starts applauding/cheering, even throwing inan Arsenio Hall "Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!" -- a reference evenDanny would get. Danny rubs his forehead and complains howunnecessary this is.

MORGAN hears the cheering from outside, and he pops his headinto the office. Hes suddenly in the office and huggingDanny from behind, jumping up and down and joining in thecheering. Mindy quiets down, and she and Danny look atMorgan for an explanation.

MORGAN

Were cheering cause I finallykilled that pesky squirrel from thevents, right?

Morgan releases Danny and gleefully reveals that the frontof his scrubs are covered in squirrel blood.

Mindy shrieks and runs out of the office. Danny groansagain, walking off-screen and lamenting his upcoming drycleaning fees. Morgan is left, confused and a bit sad.

END COLD OPEN

(CONTINUED)


6/35

CONTINUED: 5.

ACT ONE

2 INT. OFFICE BUILDING - MORNING

MINDY (V.O.)So, this is the new year.

Everyones taking it just a biteasier, and everythings freshagain, like when you brush yourteeth in the morning. And theringing in of a new year bringswith it the clamoring of New Yearsresolutions. Almost everyone makesthem, and pretty much almosteveryone breaks them. There arethe typical resolutions...

TAMRA discovers some leftover candy in the break room whenJEREMY stops in to get some water.

TAMRADr. Reed, wanna polish these badboys off?

Jeremy smiles and raises a dismissive hand.

JEREMYNo, thanks. Ill probably just havea quick spray of Caramel Blissafter my mid-morning workout.

Jeremy giggles at the prospect of indulgence as he walks

away. Tamra shrugs, throws all of the candy into thegarbage, and leaves. BEVERLY appears, digging in the trashfor the candy.

MINDY (V.O.)Then, there are the more, uh,unique resolutions...

Morgan, still covered in squirrel blood, stands on a ladderwhile taking down Christmas lights. BESTY is peelingsnowflake stickers off of the windows.

MORGANI can most definitely fit four beestotal in my left ear, super easy,but I think this year will be THEyear. The year I finally make it tofive!

Betsy thinks about this.

(CONTINUED)


7/35

CONTINUED: 6.

BETSYWhat about your right ear?

MORGANWhoa. The name of the game isconditioning, Bets. I dont wanna

push it too hard too fast. Dontwanna relive 1997 all over again.

MINDY (V.O.)...or the flat-out impossibleresolutions.

PETER screams in agony from his office.

3 INT. PETERS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Peter is lying face-down on the ground, hungover. The shades

are drawn, and hes using his rug as a blanket to hide hishead. Jeremy stands in his doorway.

JEREMYWell, SOMEbody got --

PETERShhhhhhhhhh!

JEREMY-- drunk on New Years Eve, didntthey?

PETER(mumbling)

Never again.

JEREMYAh, is that your new yearsresolution, then? No moredrinky-winkys?

Peter peeks his head out from under the rug. Hes wearingsunglasses.

PETERThats been my resolution since themid-90s.

JEREMYIf you change your resolution toemulating Corey Hart, then youd bedone by now.

(beat)

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


8/35

CONTINUED: 7.

JEREMY (contd)You need to sign for the tests youordered for Mrs. Froman.

He tosses a clipboard down on the ground near Peters head,which causes Peter to cringe and grab the carpet fibers in

desperation.

MINDY (V.O.)Regardless of why we start them,New Years resolutions are allabout setting a new tone.

4 INT. MINDYS OFFICE - MORNING

We see that Mindys been on the phone with CLIFF this wholetime.

CLIFF (O.S.)So, whats your resolution?

MINDYTo go convince you to stop workingand come with me today.

CLIFF (O.S.)Youre saying that if I dont comewith you, your entire year willreek of failure. Thats a lot ofpressure.

MINDYExactly. Do you want that on yourconscience?

5 INT. CLIFFS OFFICE - MORNING - CONTINUOUS

CLIFFS desk is covered with stacks and stacks of officialdocuments clasped with plastic comb binding spines. Cliffis busy highlighting paragraphs in one of the documents.

CLIFFWell, Im a lawyer, so.

6 INT. MINDYS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

MINDYI know weve only been dating for 2weeks, but, like, I feel thisconnection with you, deep in my

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


9/35

CONTINUED: 8.

MINDY (contd)soul. Like theres a bridge betweenmy soul and yours. I actually missyou right now. Actual yearninggoing on here.

7 INT. CLIFFS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

CLIFFAgain, Im a lawyer. You cantappeal to me with emotion.

Cliff hears her sigh. Shes been figured out.

MINDY (O.S.)I hope you know, my year will nowreek of failure because of you.

CLIFFIt can reek of consolatory dinnerinstead, if you like.

MINDY (O.S.)Depends. Where?

CLIFFWhat about at that burger placethat stays open late?

8 INT. MINDYS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

MINDYThat place has no bread.

CLIFF (O.S.)Of course it does. Its a burgerplace.

MINDYI know what a burger is, Cliff; Imsaying they skimp on their buns.

Mindy hears papers rustling on Cliffs end.

MINDY (contd)You sound like youre lawyering.

CLIFF (O.S.)Keen observation. What about you?

(CONTINUED)


10/35

CONTINUED: 9.

Mindy looks up. Through her open door, she sees Morgan inthe hallway, still wrapping Christmas lights. Danny leaveshis office and comes into view. He seems panicky, and hesmaking a beeline straight for Mindy.

MINDY

(still on the phone)I think Im about to need a lawyer,yes.

CLIFF (O.S.)Huh?

MINDYIll call you when Im on my wayback.

Dannys made it to the office, but before he comes in, heknocks on the door. Before Mindy can respond --

DANNYSee what that was? Thats knocking.Its normal. Its what normalpeople do.

MINDYSheesh, you spill a liiiiittlecoffee, do some liiiight internetshopping----

DANNYSpeaking of which, did I just hear

you say "when Im on my way back"?

MINDYOkay, Edward Snowden--

DANNYAre you going to pick up that"purchase" you made?

MINDYPerhaps.

DANNYWhy cant you just have it sent toyou?

MINDYBecause I just cant, okay?

(CONTINUED)


11/35

CONTINUED: 10.

DANNYWhere are you going?

MINDY(innocently)

Park Avenue.

This seems to have diffused the tension.

DANNY...Oh.

Wait. Danny wont fall for this. Manhattan Park Avenuepeople dont know of, let alone use, Craigslist.

DANNY (contd)Where on Park Avenue?

MINDY

(lightly)North.

DANNYHow far north?

MINDY...A lot.

DANNYYou just ordered something from awebsite of death, and now youregoing to the Bronx to meet a

complete stranger.

Danny folds his arms.

DANNY (contd)Is Cliff going with you?

MINDYHe cant get away from work. MightI remind you that he is a lawyer,which means I could sue you forlistening in on my phoneconversations---

DANNYMaybe if you didnt talk at 100decibels!

MINDYThats impossible.

(CONTINUED)


12/35

CONTINUED: 11.

DANNYThats not impossible. Trainsgenerate 100 decibels of sound.

MINDYWhat is it with your weird

obsessions about trains?

DANNYThey are the backbone of Americanindustry! How do you think thingsget from place to place?

Mindy stands.

MINDYYoure right. Maybe I should go geton one now.

Danny glares at her.

DANNYYoure going now??

MINDYI have no other patients scheduled,and its almost my lunch break.Gonna run a secret, safe,non-threatening errand in theBronx.

DANNY

Well, then, Im coming with you.

MINDYNo youre not!

DANNYYou used my laptop!

MINDYOh my god, Danny, Im soooo sorry Itouched your laptop --

DANNYThey could trace everything back tome.

MINDYWhat are you --

(CONTINUED)


13/35

CONTINUED: 12.

DANNYI dont want news vans coming uphere, asking me why my coworker,who went on Craigslist on mycomputer, ended up dead in theBronx.

MINDYIm touched by your concern for mywell-being, but really, Im fine.

Mindy gets her coat and purse from her couch and walkstoward the door. Danny blocks her path.

MINDY (contd)(threateningly)

Danny...

Danny glares back at her. Mindy sighs and looks

away. Then, she barrels past him and runs out the door,into the office. Danny tries to grab a hold of her, but sheslips away. He runs after her.

9 INT. OFFICE - MORNING

Betsy and Beverly are manning the desk, and Tamra is goingover new patient forms.

Mindy bolts past.

MINDY

BETSY HOLD MY CALLS!

Everyone is confused.

Danny stumbles into the main office, back into his office tograb his coat, and then runs into the hallway after Mindy,SLAMMING the door behind him.

Morgan is wrapping the Christmas lights around his arm,getting ready to put them back into storage. He is about tocomment on what just happened when he hears somethingCLAWING in the vents. He furrows his brow and looks atTamra for confirmation. She looks back at him.

TAMRAI thought you killed that thingalready.

MORGAN(scared)

I did.

(CONTINUED)


14/35

CONTINUED: 13.

Betsys eyes grow wide with fear.

BEVERLY(nonchalantly)

You know what that means.

BETSY(breathless)What?

BEVERLYSquirrel ghost.

Tamra makes a disgusted face.

BETSYWhat do we do?!

Beverly reaches under the desk and gets her purse out.

BEVERLYNow, Ive got an old wolfs toothin here somewhere --

Betsy scrambles for a pen and paper and starts to takenotes.

BEVERLY (CONTD)-- but were gonna need somethinto grind it up with. And someacorns for bait. And a blonde childto sacrifice.

MORGAN(skeptical)

Wait wait wait wait wait. If itwere a true squirrel ghost, itwouldnt be in the vents.

(looks at Betsy)They hate central air.

Betsy smiles, relieved. Beverly absent-mindedly tosses theWOLF TOOTH over her shoulder to Betsy, who is startled butcatches it, immediately dropping it in fear/disgust.

MORGAN (contd)Im gonna go check the vents again.Maybe something else got in.

(excited)Like a rat!

(CONTINUED)


15/35

CONTINUED: 14.

TAMRAYou want it to be a rat?

MORGANYou want it to be a squirrel ghost?

Beverly nods "touche". Morgan moves his ladder closer tothe scratching noise.

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

10 INT. HALLWAY

Mindy grabs the elevator as the doors are closing. Dannyruns into view. Mindy repeatedly smashes the "close doors"button on the panel. Danny is too late, and the doors close

just as he gets to the elevator. He slams his hand on thedoors.

11 INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Mindy jumps at the sound. Then, she smiles to herself.

12 INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Danny sighs and sees the door to the stairs. He bolts forit.

13 EXT. CITY STREET - AFTERNOON - CONTINUOUS

Mindy exits the building. She walks quickly toward a SUBWAYENTRANCE. She hears a side door to the building burstopen. She looks back, and Danny is running towardher. Mindy breaks into a sprint and disappears down thesubway entrance steps. Danny runs into a group of people,which ties him up for a bit.

14 INT. SUBWAY STATION - CONTINUOUS

Mindy zips through the turnstiles with her MetroCard. Dannyfollows slightly behind.


16/35

15.

15 INT. SUBWAY - B LINE - CONTINUOUS

Mindy jumps on the subway, grabbing a seat and pantingheavily. The doors start to close. She looks up and seesDanny running at her. She smiles and waveshaughtily. Then, the doors open again, leaving Danny more

than enough time to amble onto the subway car. Mindyssmile fades.

Danny grins at her and plops down on the seat across fromher. She avoids his triumphant gaze.

16 INT. SUBWAY STATION

Mindy sits on a bench and dejectedly waits for her transfer.Danny stands right next to her, still smiling triumphantlyat her.

17 INT. SUBWAY - D LINE

Mindy leans back in her seat. Danny sits next to her, stillsmiling.

18 EXT. SUBWAY ENTRANCE - AFTERNOON

Mindy walks up the stairs with Danny jauntily skipping afterher.

19 INT. BUS - AFTERNOON

Mindy and Danny sit next to each other. Shes still annoyed,and hes still giddy.

20 INT. OFFICE - AFTERNOON

Morgans legs are hanging down from the ceiling. Betsy andTamra look up at him.

MORGAN(voice echoing)

I still dont see anything.

Beverly looks up from the desk.

BEVERLYThats because ghosts aresee-through.

(CONTINUED)


17/35

CONTINUED: 16.

TAMRA(to Beverly)

You one weird old lady.


Wait! I do see something!

BETSYI have the bug spray ready just incase!

Jeremy walks by to investigate the commotion.

JEREMYAre you about to spray bug sprayinto the air were all collectivelybreathing?

BETSYMorgans checking the vents again.Theres something still in there.

JEREMYWhy didnt we just call animalcontrol?


Quick! Someone get me somethingsoft, a blanket, a sweater,anything!

Betsy reaches for Tamras sweater. Tamra slaps her hand andmoves away.

TAMRAOh hell no, Ray Ron got this for mewith money from Vegas.

BETSYOoh, how much did he win?

TAMRAWin? No, his friend Vegas. He lentRay Ron money so he could buy me aChristmas present. Ray Ron said Icould wear it, but I gotta keepthis baby in pristine condition incase he cant pay Vegas back.

(CONTINUED)


18/35

CONTINUED: 17.


Nevermind, I got it!

JEREMYOh god, Morgan --

Morgan is now shirtless, and his legs/belly are visible fromthe ceiling. He climbs down, holding his crumpled up scrubtop gently in his hands.

BETSYIs it dead?

Morgan has wrapped two baby squirrels in his scrubtop. Jeremy screams and backs away, and Tamra just keepsshaking her head "no".

BETSY (contd)Awww!

MORGANDont you see?

His eyes start to fill with tears.

MORGAN (contd)God. They mustve witnessed thewhole thing. They must think Im amonster.

(beat)I have to fix this.

BETSYHow?

JEREMYCall animal control.

MORGANMake a squirrel sanctuaryin the hot pipe room.

JEREMYAbsolutely not! Thats at least 3health code violations, and --

MORGANI killed their mother!

A patient, KRYSTAL, overhears.

KRYSTALWhat kind of practice is this?

Jeremy narrows his eyes at Morgan.

(CONTINUED)


19/35

CONTINUED: 18.

JEREMY(through clenched teeth)

Call animal control.

Jeremy goes to deal with Krystal.

MORGANI cant believe I rang in the newyear with murder!

BETSYAw, Morgan, dont be so hard onyourself. You were trying to makeour work environment safe.

TAMRAYeah, Morgan. You had goodintentions.

MORGANI just want you and the babysquirrels to know that I am sorry,and I will make this right.

He leaves, walking past Jeremy and Krystal. Jeremy hasnoticed that Krystal is very attractive: a tall redhead withgreen eyes. She mustve just found out she was pregnant, asshe hasnt started to show yet. He starts to throw on theol Jeremy charm, making Krystal laugh.

Peter hears Krystals laugh and pokes his head out of hisoffice. At the sight of Krystal, he takes off his

sunglasses and starts to smooth out his hair.

JEREMYIm Dr. Jeremy Reed. Your name?

KRYSTALKrystal Norris.

Jeremy jots down her name on a new patient form.

JEREMY"Mrs."?

KRYSTALNo, Im actually single.

Jeremy fills that out on the form.

JEREMYA lovely name, "Krystal". Known forbeauty, elegance --

(CONTINUED)


20/35

CONTINUED: 19.

Peter appears out of nowhere.

PETERAnd champagne, am I right? Hi, Dr.Peter Prentiss.

Krystal laughs and shakes Peters outstretched hand.

JEREMY(more to Krystal)

Dr. Prentiss, I thought you weresleeping off your hangover in youroffice.

PETER(more to Krystal)

Actually, I was researching waterbirths. Theyre all the rage, andsome claimed they serve as a bridgebetween the babys pregnancy

environment and the babyspost-birth environment --

KRYSTALYeah, Im not really into all that.I saw that there are midwivesupstairs. I opted for thetechnologically up-to-dateapproach. Yknow, safe, smart,disease-free.

Peter realizes hes read Krystal all wrong.

PETER-- which is why I was researchingthem. I was linking all thosemessage-board posters to proper,peer-reviewed clinical studies.

JEREMYStudies like what I call the ReedMethod, or the first laproscopichysterectomy procedure, which Ipioneered.

PETEREasy there, Jer, dont wannadestroy the babys nest before itflies away.

JEREMY(more to Krystal)

I just mean that I have an intimateknowledge of the female body, and I

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


21/35

CONTINUED: 20.

JEREMY (contd)intend to protect it and itsprogeny at all costs.

Krystal smiles.

JEREMYShall we?

Jeremy leads Krystal to his office. Peter follows rightbehind them.

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

21 EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING IN THE SOUTH BRONX - AFTERNOON

Mindy is at the top of the stairs. She presses the buzzer.Danny is standing by the curb and has his hands in his coatpocket.

MINDYYou stay out here.

DANNYWhy wont you tell me what weredoing here?

MINDYI need to pick something up, and

you need to grow up.

The speaker crackles.

MAN ON SPEAKERYes?

MINDY(into speaker)

Hi, yeah, Im looking for Nathan?My names Mindy Lahiri. I came forthat thing I bought --

(to Danny)On Craigslist.

MAN ON SPEAKEROh, yeah, sure. Ill be down in asec.

The speaker fizzles out.

(CONTINUED)


22/35

CONTINUED: 21.

DANNYPlease tell me this isnt drugs.

MINDYRight. Im a doctor with aprescription pad and easy, daily

access to benzos and opioids, andIm gonna decide to buy drugs fromsome dude on Craigslist.

NATHAN, a rough-looking man in his 50s, comes to the door.Hes wearing all black. Danny looks suspicious.

NATHANMindy?

MINDYYeah, hi.

They shake hands.

MINDY (contd)Um, you didnt hear that whole"drugs" rant just now, did you?Benzos and opioids?

NATHANNo, but it sounds like a party.

Nathan notices Danny scowling at him.

NATHAN (contd)

You know this guy?

MINDYYeah, thats my friend Danny.

NATHANOhhh, okay.

Nathan gives him a little wave, but Danny doesnt bite.Nathan turns back to Mindy and hands her a medium-sizedplastic bag.

NATHAN (contd)Well, um, here ya go.

MINDYThanks.

NATHANNaw, thank you for coming all theway out here to get it.

(CONTINUED)


23/35

CONTINUED: 22.

They shake hands.

Danny watches Nathan as Mindy comes down the steps and meetshim at the curb.

They leave, Danny and Nathan trading suspicious glances.

22 INT. JEREMYS OFFICE - AFTERNOON

Jeremy sits at his desk, Peter sits on the corner ofJeremys desk, and Krystal sits across from them.

JEREMYSo, weve got your first ultrasoundscheduled, and I think wevecovered all the insurance-y,legal-ese, health forms and stuffthat we typically do.

KRYSTALGreat.

JEREMYAre there any other questions thatyou have for us?

KRYSTALUh, no, not really. This is myfirst pregnancy, so Iveinterviewed with 4 other OB/GYNs,but I have a good feeling about youguys.

JEREMYWell, if you do have any questions,heres my card. It has my worknumber, cell number, and ananswering service that will get ahold of me if you cant reach me.

PETERAnd heres my card, which has mywork number, cell number, and mysister Sheilas number if either ofthose numbers have beendisconnected.

Krystal accepts both with a polite smile.

KRYSTALThanks for being so patient withme. Im still pretty nervous.

(CONTINUED)


24/35

CONTINUED: 23.

JEREMYYoure doing so brilliantly alreadythat Im sure this pregnancy isgoing to be wonderful.

PETER

Yeah. Youre going to kick thispregnancys ass.

Krystal laughs.

JEREMYI just have to say that no matterhow many single moms I meet, I amalways amazed at the strength thatmotherhood brings.

Krystal isnt sure how to receive that comment.

KRYSTALYeah, well, I know motherhood isrough. Im a little sad thatHarris, my ex-boyfriend, is out ofthe picture. He wasnt mean or adeadbeat or anything. He justisnt really...

Jeremy and Peter lean in.

KRYSTAL (contd)The paternal type, yknow?

Jeremy and Peter exchange glances.

23 INT. HOT PIPE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Morgan is showing Betsy the Squirrel Sanctuary that hebuilt. Basically, he got a hamster cage and then moved allof the office Christmas decorations into the hot pipe room.

MORGANThis is their bed, and this istheir water bowl, and this is theirnut bowl, extra acorns, and is themini-ferris wheel I built for themusing tongue depressors from theexam rooms, and --

Jeremy and Peter burst through the door and grin at Morgan.


25/35

24.

24 INT. JEREMYS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Jeremy and Peter are each caressing one of the babysquirrels. Peters squirrel is perched on his shoulder.Jeremy is holding his squirrel like a baby.

PETERWe totally get what you mean aboutpaternal types.

JEREMYIt takes a special type of man tohave that quality.

Krystal smiles politely again. This girl is a trooper.

Jeremy and Peter shoot competitive glances at each other.Jeremy rocks his squirrel like a baby and sings a little tohim. Its actually a little cute, and Krystal lets out a

small laugh. Peter smiles too, catching Krystals eye. Hethrows a Hail Mary to seal the deal. He turns and gives hissquirrel a kiss.

Krystal winces slightly. Jeremy cant believe what Petersdoing. Peter plays into it until the squirrel latches ontohis lips.

PETEROH MY GOD HES BITING ME!!

Jeremy and Krystal back away, unsure of what to do.

PETER (contd)AM I GONNA GET RABIES?!

Morgan bursts in with their cage and deftly takes Jeremyssquirrel from him.

MORGANYou have to relax! Reginald ispicking up on your fear, and itscausing him to feel fear --

PETERWHO THE HELL IS REGINALD?

Morgan slowly walks over to Peter.

MORGANHey Reggie, its me, its Daddy!Its okay, its okay, Uncle Peterisnt going to do anything, hesjust being silly...

(CONTINUED)


26/35

CONTINUED: 25.

Morgan coaxes REGINALD the squirrel to latch onto an acorninstead. Hes then able to get Reginald back into the cagewith his brother.

Morgan turns to Jeremy and Peter, the latter of which isnursing his cut lip.

MORGAN (contd)I cant believe you two! How dareyou two exploit Mother Naturesgreatest gift for personal gain?

JEREMYSquirrels are the best that MotherNature has to give?

PETERYeah, I mean, have you seen theGrand Canyon?

MORGANI am so disappointed in you two!Why dont you go get cleaned up andthink about what youve done!

Jeremy and Peter sullenly leave the office. Krystal smilesat Morgan. Morgan smiles back nervously.

25 INT. SUBWAY - B LINE

Mindy stands near the door, her arm around a pole and her

hand in her coat pocket. Danny sits nearby, leaning againstthe partition. They dont face each other, the usualeasiness and chemistry all but gone between them. For thefirst time in a long time, Danny isnt sure how to carryhimself, and Mindy isnt sure of what to say. Its clearthat neither of them want this to be happening, but theydont know how to reconnect.

The train slows unexpectedly, and Mindy loses herbalance. Her arm saves her, and she swirls around the poleuntil she slides down onto her butt, facing Danny.

CONDUCTOR(on speaker)

Due to unexpected trackmaintenance, there will be anunscheduled delay.

Passengers groan.

(CONTINUED)


27/35

CONTINUED: 26.

DANNY(exasperated)

We shouldve taken a cab.

Mindy scowls at him. She kicks at his feet.

MINDYMaybe I would have stoppedand gotten a cab in the firstplace if you hadnt chased me outof the office!

He kicks back.

DANNYMaybe I wouldnt have chased youout of the office if you hadntgone into my office!

They kick at each other for a little while. Mindy stops,leans against the pole and buries her head in her hands.

He looks at her and softens.

DANNY (contd)Im sorry, I just didnt want youto be alone...

Mindy looks up. Something catches Mindys eye. She startsto laugh.

DANNY (contd)

I didnt want you to... be...unsafe... whats so funny?

MINDY(through laughter)

Theres... theres... gum...

Danny furrows his brow. Mindy struggles to her feet, andDanny helps her. She sits down next to him.

DANNYWhat?

MINDY(laughing)

Theres gum in your hair!

DANNYWHAT.

(CONTINUED)


28/35

CONTINUED: 27.

Mindy grabs his head and pulls out her phone. She takes apicture of the huge wad of bubble gum stuck to the side ofhis head. She releases him and shows him the picture.

DANNY (contd)(stammering)

WHAT! WHERE? HOW?

MINDYI see kids do that sometimes. Theystick it here --

Mindy points to where Danny had been leaning on thepartition separating the seat from the door.

MINDY-- so that when people rest theirhead on the --

DANNYSon of a bitch.

He looks around and eyes a group of young boys, snickeringand occassionally looking at Danny. He jumps to his feet.

DANNY (contd)VERY FUNNY! OH YEAH, VERY FUNNY,STICKING GUM IN PLACES! ThatsVANDALISM! And you know how manygerms youre spreading? Huh? ITSFLU SEASON!

He advances toward them, but Mindy holds him back. The boyslaugh even harder as they scramble to the next car.

Mindy digs a nail clipper out of her purse and shows it toDanny as a suggestion. Danny sighs and leans forward.

Mindy runs her fingers through his hair and is careful notto cut any more than she needs to.

MINDYThe gums still warm and mushy.

Danny winces. Mindy chuckles.

MINDY (contd)(in her Danny Castellanovoice)

"Its flu season!"

(CONTINUED)


29/35

CONTINUED: 28.

DANNYYeah, yeah, shut up.

He watches her work through his hair.

DANNY (contd)

This is the most weve talked allafternoon.

MINDYThis is the most weve talked sinceChristmas.

It hits Danny right in the gut, but now, he cant pull away.He falls silent.

MINDY (contd)Oh, suddenly, you have nothing tosay?

Danny doesnt dare bite. Mindy lets go of his face and lookshim straight in the eyes.

MINDY (contd)You locked your door, Danny.

DANNYWhat?

MINDYThis morning. Your door was locked.

Danny shrugs.

MINDY (contd)Since when do you lock your door,Danny?

He freezes. Mindy sighs and pulls his face toward her sothat she can continue cutting the gum out of his hair.

MINDY (contd)I dont want us not to be friends.

DANNYWere friends.

MINDYAre we?

Danny swallows. He can barely get his answer out.

(CONTINUED)


30/35

CONTINUED: 29.

DANNY...Yes.

Mindy isnt sure she believes him.

DANNY (contd)

I did just chase you to the Bronxand back, didnt I?

Mindy smiles. Shes gotten all the gum out of Dannys hairwithout causing too much damage. She throws the wad ofgum-hair on the ground and makes a disgusted sound. Then,she reaches into her bag for some hand sanitizer. Shesquirts some in her hands, then offers some to Danny. Heaccepts, and they smile at each other as they wash theirhands clean.

Mindy looks at him a moment.

DANNY (contd)What?

MINDYYouve had a rough day.

She places the hand sanitizer and nail clipper back into herpurse and pulls out the plastic bag from Nathan.

DANNYAre you finally going to tell mewhat all this was for?

MINDYI was going to give this to you onyour birthday, but I cant wait.

Danny looks puzzled. He takes the bag and opens it. Insideis a slightly tattered VINYL of Born in the U.S.A., signedby Springsteen.

MINDY (O.S.)Its an original pressing.

Danny stares in awe. He looks back at her.

MINDYI just loved your Christmas gift somuch. And it didnt seem fair thatI didnt get you anything, yknow,because we did Secret Santa...

Danny doesnt know what to do.

(CONTINUED)


31/35

CONTINUED: 30.

MINDY (contd)Look, I just... I was on Google,and I found this, so I made anoffer. I knew you had one signedSpringsteen record, so I checkedyour stupid vinyl collection index

to see which one. Nathan was gonnamail it, but seeing as its sofragile...

Danny just looks at Mindy. Hes helplessly touched.

MINDY (contd)You hate it.

DANNYNo, no. This... this means a lot.

He clears his throat.

DANNY (contd)I really dont know what to say.Thank you.

MINDYNo, Danny, thank you.

Mindy hugs him. Hes caught off-guard.

DANNYFor what?

MINDYFor being the kind of guy whochases you to the Bronx and back.

A really nice moment.

DANNY...Wait, so does this mean Im notgetting a birthday present?

MINDYUgh, Danny, cant you just --

Mindy starts to pull away, but Danny holds tighter. Sherelents and rests her chin on his shoulder. She smiles andrevels in it. He looks as if his heart has been mended andbroken at the same time.


32/35

31.

26 INT. EXAM ROOM - AFTERNOON

Jeremy and Peter are in the exam room. Jeremy is dabbingiodine onto Peters bloody, cut lip.

JEREMY

Youre going to need at least 4 or5 stitches.

PETERJeez, that little asshat got megood.

MORGAN (O.S.)Okay, theyre asleep. I think Imready to go.

Peter and Jeremy look up. Through the open door, they seeMorgan helping Krystal with her coat.

PETERHey, where are you guys going?

Krystal and Morgan look back at them. They walk over to thedoor, Krystal on one of Morgans arms, and the squirrel cageon the other.

KRYSTALYou guys were really sweet to helpme today. Dr. Reed, you were soinformative and gentle. Dr.Prentiss, you put me at ease about

the whole thing.

Jeremy and Peter look bashful at these compliments.

KRYSTAL (contd)But Morgan is the kind of fatherfigure a baby really needs. Alittle mix of all of those things,but with a strong hand when itsreally deserved.

MORGAN(to Krystal)

And if you play your cards right,youll find out just how strong ofa hand tonight!

Krystal giggles. Jeremy goes back to tending to Peters lip.They sit in silence for a while.

(CONTINUED)


33/35

CONTINUED: 32.

PETERShe was hot.

JEREMYSoooooo hot.

More silence.

PETERDaddy issues, right?

JEREMYMaaaajor daddy issues.

27 EXT. NEW YORK CITY SKYLINE - AFTERNOON

Bruce Springsteens "Im on Fire" plays.

TIME CUT TO:

28 EXT. NEW YORK CITY SKYLINE - NIGHT

City lights fade in and out of focus.

29 EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - AROUND 9 PM

Mindy and Danny walk up to the building.

MINDYStuck for 3 hours. 3 hours! Imissed the freakin Bachelorpremiere. Oh well, I guess thisyear will be the Year of the DVR.

She jumps up the stairs and opens the door, but Danny stopsat the curb.

MINDY (contd)You comin in?

DANNYHeading home.

MINDYCliffs almost done working. Hesstarving. Im starving. Youvegotta be starving. We can all grabsome late-night snacks. And by"snacks", I of course mean a fullmeal.

(CONTINUED)


34/35

CONTINUED: 33.

DANNYIll sit this one out. Prettytired.

MINDYReally?

DANNYYeah. You guys have fun.

MINDYOkay.

He turns to go, but Mindy calls after him.

MINDYNight, Danny.

Danny smiles and waves the record at her.

She heads into the building. Danny watches herdisappear. He waits for a moment. Then, he begins hisjourney home.

30 EXT. BURGER PLACE - NIGHT

We see Mindy and Cliff through the window. Mindys relatingthe events of her day, gesticulating wildly. Cliff watchesher, laughing and asking questions. Theres an intimacythere that we havent seen with anyone else, except...

31 INT. DANNYS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Dannys in the living room. All the lights are off. Heslying on his couch, his arm over his eyes. We see his RECORDPLAYER, Born in the U.S.A. spinning hypnotically.

END

(CONTINUED)


35/35

CONTINUED: 34.

TAG

32 INT. MORGANS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Morgan and Krystal are arm-wrestling at his kitchen

table. Morgan slams her arm down and flexes his biceps.

MORGANOh hell yeah! 20 to 0, sucka!

KRYSTALYknow, when you said Id get tosee your strong hand, this wasntwhat I had in mind.

Morgan jumps to his feet and bounces around.

MORGAN

What should we do next? Pictionary?Pictionary!

He runs into the next room.

MORGAN (O.S.)I have to warn you, though:Reginald is the best at Pictionary!

END TAG

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