Use strong active verbs

Unbury verbs disguised as nouns

Use active voice

Use the dependent clause

Avoid over use of prepositional phrases

1

Type Definition Sample

simple sentence(independent clause)

One complete thought with subject (noun) and predicate (verb).

Our team completed the project.

compound

sentence

(2 independent clauses)

Two complete but related independent clauses joined by a conjunction.

The team was challenged, but we were happy with the results.

complex sentence

(independent clause and a dependent clause)

An independent clause and a dependent clause. A dependent clause has a noun and verb, but cannot stand alone.

When we finished the project, we held a team party.

3

Avoid weak verbs. They convey practically no sense of action

do, make, perform, have

forms of the verb to be (is, was)

Avoid nouns that are really verbs in disguise

Substitute verbs that create a clear sense of action

At the core of every good sentence is a

strong, precise verb.

4

Make a recommendation Recommend

Formulate an argument

Arrive at a conclusion

Argue

Conclude

Disguised verbs get buried in the sentence:

The manager came to the realization that telecommuting made sense.

The manager realized that telecommuting made sense.

TipLook for words ending in tionor ment. Could they be converted to verbs?

5

Frisky ate my homework. (4)

My homework was eaten by Frisky. (6)

Frisky = Doer / subject of sentence

ate = Active Verb

homework = Object of action

homework = Object as subject

by Frisky = Doer object of preposition

was eaten = passive verb

6

The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery breath. (10)

The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks. (6)

The explosion was caused by a kerosene lamp. (8)

The dragon’s fiery breath scorched the metropolis. (7)

The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks.

A kerosene lamp caused the explosion. (6)

7

To emphasize the recipient of an action

To de-emphasize negative news

T0 conceal the doer of an action

An investigation was launched. (by accounting).

Cash refunds cannot be made. (by us)

An error was made in our sales figures.

8

Active voice – less tactful Passive voice – more tactful

We cannot grant you credit. Credit cannot be granted.

The CEO made a huge error in projecting profits.

A huge error was made in projecting profits.

I launched a successful fitness program for our company last year.

A successful fitness program was launched for our company last year.

9

A dependent clause…

Highlights the importance of something

Links ideas together

Shows how ideas are related

Start with a subordinating conjunction or relative pronoun

10

So Where Before

Although Than Though

After Since When

Because As Whereas

If Unless until

While

Who What Which

That Why How (many)

Subordinating

conjunctions

Relative

Pronouns

11

The project was not completed on time because the

machine parts were stolen.

If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

A helium nucleus has two protons whereas hydrogen has

only one.

Energy supplies will dwindle unless we conserve.

12

in progress

on the floor

beside the garage

between the cities

of data-processing equipment

to a Martian

by walking on hot coals

Less informative alternative to

dependent clause

Treat all ideas as grammatically

equal

– No discrimination

– No emphasis among

qualifying details

Reader is left to interpret what

you are trying to say

13

In their specifications for engine parts, titanium is often requested by engineers because of its resistance to the effects of high temperatures. (6)

Because titanium resists high temperatures,

engineers often request it in their engine part

specifications.

• dependent clause• active voice strong verb • only 1 preposition

15

Eliminate unnecessary expressions

Limit long lead-ins

Drop unnecessary fillers

Remove redundant words

Dump trite expressions

Avoid slang and clichés

Instead of this

We are of the opinion that

Please feel free to

In addition to the above

At this point in time

Despite the fact that

Try this

We think

Please

Also

Now

Although

Instead of this

This memo is to inform

you that all employees

meet today.

I am writing this letter

to say thanks to

everyone who voted.

Try this

All employees meet today.

Thanks to everyone who voted.

Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there is/was and it is/was when used merely to take up space.

Instead of this

There was only one

employee who should

be promoted.

It was Lisa and Jeff who were honored.

Try this

Only one employee should be promoted.

Lisa and Jeff were

honored.

Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What words could be omitted in these expressions?

advance warning

close proximity

exactly identical

filled to capacity

final outcome

necessary requisite

new beginning

past history

refer back

serious danger

advance warningclose proximityexactly identicalfilled to capacityfinal outcomenecessary requisitenew beginningpast historyrefer backserious danger

Trite and Outdated

as per your request

pursuant to your request

attached hereto

under separate cover

Modern

at your request

at your request

attached

separately

Avoid informal expressions that have changed meanings.

Avoid clichés. Substitute more precise words.

Try this

We could go no further.

Instead of this

We had reached the end of our rope.