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A bully-

prevention

experience

based on the

Girl Scout

leadership

curriculum

aMAZE!

Use your aMAZE! Journey Adult Guide with this BFF booklet to help middle school girls prevent bullying and lead with friendship.

WHAT’S INSIDE

p 4 Welcome to Volunteers

p 5 How to Use This Booklet

p 6–9 BFF Essentials: Support tools for

s topics and how to include Girl

Scout processes

p 10 You May Be Wondering…

p 12 Session 1: First Impressions

in the Maze

p 14 Session 2: Navigating Friendships

p 16 Session 3: Cliques and Conflicts

p 18 Session 4: Caution: Bullies

Straight Ahead

p 20 Session 5: Let Peace Begin with You

p 22 Session 6: Improving Relationships

in the World

p 24 Session 7: Toward Peace:

Take Action!

p 26 Session 8: Pass It Forward

BFF

(Be a Friend First)

W elcome to BFF (Be a Friend First), which is

designed to work with the aMAZE! Journey,

Girl Scouts’ highly acclaimed leadership

curriculum. The aMAZE! Journey gives

middle school girls valuable skills and tools for figuring

out relationships. BFF takes girls a step deeper. How? By

focusing on the confidence and skills they need to prevent

all-too-prevalent bully behavior.

Middle school is a time of transition and adjustment for girls,

and also a time when bully behavior peaks. Girls tell us that

they want to feel safe and protected, and want to help others

feel the same.

How can we get them there? By showing them how to build

meaningful relationships and resolve conflicts peacefully and

constructively. And by empowering them to educate others

and create more peace…in their schools, communities, and who

knows where else?

We’ve drawn on our many years of girl expertise, best practices,

and research—all delivered right here in BFF and through our

aMAZE! Journey.

Healthy relationships are the solution to bully prevention.

BFF inspires girls to lead one another—with friendship!

4 • BFF Booklet

Before You BeginRead your aMAZE! Adult Guide (begin on page 30)

to see how things are laid out and what activities

make sense for you. Do the same with your BFF

booklet to see how they match up and to help you

plan. Of course, you don’t have to follow the guide

or booklet word for word—once you get a topic

started, listen for where girls want to take it!

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This guide provides a sample schedule for an eight-session journey, with each session lasting about 75-90 minutes. You’ll probably find that each sample session offers more than you and the girls will cover in that time. That’s perfectly fine because how you decide to work with the sample sessions will be influenced by the girls’ input and basic logistics, such as how much time the girls want to spend on the journey overall and whether they want to add on trips or other activities.

During your first gathering, partner with the girls to customize the journey to suit their needs and interests (see page 34 for possible discussion prompts). You may find that the girls want to extend a particular activity or move through some activities quickly and linger over others. As you get to know your group of Cadettes, you’ll be able to customize what you do and the time you spend on each activity even further.

THE JOURNEY’S 8 SAMPLE SESSIONS

“I like the fact that the girls can come to our meetings and feel comfortable and secure; they are not afraid to speak their minds. I am amazed at the comments they make regarding school and teachers and issues they face.” —Connie A. Fratianni, Girl Scout volunteer and alumna, Manhasset, New York

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Choices for the JourneyInvite the girls to form one big circle. Mention that circles are an important

way to relate; everyone can see one another, so everyone is equal and can focus

their energy together as a team. Then, suggest that the team now create a plan

for how this journey through aMAZE will unfold. If there are any time limits to

work around, mention them up front, so girls know the parameters within which

they can get creative. And if the team has plenty of time, encourage the girls to

stretch out the trip.

Perhaps a few of the girls would like to capture what the group discusses (just

the big points) on a large sheet of paper that the team can refer back to along

the journey.

Introduce each area of choice-making, and invite girls to participate in creating a

great experience. Here are some of the choices to discuss and some ideas about

how to approach them:

Awards

Find out if the girls are interested in earning the Interact, Diplomat, and

Peacemaker awards during the journey. (They can earn one, two, or all three.)

Review the steps to the awards as given on page 9 of the girls’ book.

• Mention that the Take Action Project can be a team effort in which girls will

use their leadership skills to contribute to building positive relationships in a

community of their choice.

• If girls are not interested in the Diplomat Award, which involves doing a Take

Action Project, what would they like to do instead during Sessions 5-7? Are

there any topics in their book that they want to talk more about during this

time? Do the girls want to plan these sessions themselves?

Using Ceremonies to Connect at Each Meeting

Explain that ceremonies, even short ones, can be a great way to take a little

time out together to mark each Cadette gathering as special and separate from

the rest of the day. Ceremonies can be a fun way for girls to connect and relate

to each other. Ask the girls if they have any ideas for ceremonies, such as

lighting candles or listening to music—or offer up some of the suggestions on

the next page. Then ask the girls if they want to have ceremonies to open and/or

close their time together. Find out which girls might like to plan and lead some

ceremonies—perhaps even circulate a sign-up list.

Sample Ceremonies

• Create a “conversation starters” jar in which girls place slips of paper on

which they’ve written words or phrases that capture various relationship topics

(such as cliques, peer pressure, being yourself) and the leadership qualities

or skills that go along with them. Each week, one girl chooses a slip of paper

and then starts a short group talk about what’s written on it.

• The girls take turns selecting songs that reflect relationship issues they are

experiencing or might encounter along the maze of life. At the start of each

session, ask a girl to volunteer to play her song for the group (even if just from

a cell phone), and then take a few minutes to relate the song to aMAZE.

• Each girl brings pictures from magazines that reflect a direction or an

interest she hopes to follow in life’s maze. Create a team poster from those

pictures. For an opening ceremony, encourage girls to talk about what their

pictures mean to them and the leadership skills needed to navigate life’s

maze successfully in that way. If space allows, leave the team poster hanging

throughout each session.

Team AgreementClose the discussion by inviting girls to make a team agreement.

Say something like: As we travel through aMAZE, it’s important that we trust one

another. What do we need to promise each other, so that we can have a really

positive experience relating to others along this journey? Then, offer these ideas:

• We will watch our body language when we talk and listen (no eye rolling!)

• If we have a conflict with someone in the group, we can . . .

• If we have a different opinion, we can . . .

• Gossip would be hurtful because . . .

Perhaps one of the girls can capture the team agreement on paper so it can be

brought to all meetings and the girls can check in on how they are doing.

LET GIRLS DO

THE ADDING ON

If it’s possible for the

girls to have trips,

retreats, guest speakers,

or other add-ons during

or after their journey,

invite them to brainstorm

the possibilities, and

to take lead roles in

planning them. For

example, perhaps girls

want to cover the

session on cliques during

an overnight gathering

or perhaps they want

to plan a closing party.

Maybe they want to

flip through their books

and select the activities

and topics that interest

them the most, and plan

a mega-session to dive

into them. Encourage

the girls to discuss

any “make it your own”

journey ideas they might

have.

NO

CEREMONIES?

NO WORRIES

If ceremonies don’t

interest the girls,

don’t be concerned.

Upcoming sessions offer

suggestions for simple

ceremonies (no planning

needed) that the

Cadettes can perform

spontaneously, should

they decide they want

an opening of some kind.

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Movie NightsMany of the relationship topics addressed in this journey are poignantly portrayed (though sometimes exaggerated) in contemporary and classic films. Movie and discussion nights are a great way for girls to sample the many passageways of aMAZE. Girls might even want to partner up with other Cadette groups in the area for mega movie nights.

Fresh PerspectivesHearing about the experiences of older girls and women can add fresh perspectives to the knowledge Cadettes gain through aMAZE. You don’t need to look very far to expand the horizons of middle schoolers. They respect high school girls, so you might invite Girl Scout Seniors and Ambassadors, or other teen community members, to present their own insights on the journey’s relationship topics (it’s also a chance for the older teens to develop their leadership skills). Your community may have experts in conflict mediation, networking strategies, or other relationship-building skills that you can tap as well.Creative StuffGirls who like to make things—crafts, foods, DIY (“Do It Yourself”) projects, inventions, videos—will enjoy sharing their talents with the team. So encourage the girls to share their “favorite to-do’s” with each other. They can even give each other something they make, which puts an aMAZing twist on their creativity!

Stretching Out the JourneyIf the team has time, you might stretch the journey beyond eight sessions. In fact, you may find that that one session can become three. But if you are on a tight schedule, simply engage the girls in the topics they most want to cover in each session. Either way, the goal is for you and the Cadettes to have a meaningful journey. So try to build in time all along the way for the Cadettes to just hang out together, enjoying the safe space and emotional connections so important to girls at this age—and so much a part of what makes Girl Scouting unique.

As time permits, you might want to try some “detours” and add-ons, including:Trips and Team-Building ActivitiesDepending on your location and the season, a visit to a corn maze, hedge maze, rock labyrinth, or other life-size maze will add life-size richness to the journey. (And it’s a great excuse for the girls to sightsee, shop, and eat—in other words, have some fun their way.)

While visiting a “real” maze, consider adding a team-building challenge to the experience. Girls could pair up and lead each other through the maze while blindfolded, or they could travel through the maze backwards. A short discussion about trust and its give-and-take in relationships would be a great way to round out the experience.

No maze in your region? Create one! The team (and the Family and Friends Network) could set up a mazelike obstacle course—it will give girls the sense of progressing through a series of challenges, and they can do it in pairs or as a team.

Field trips are also a great way to spark the girls’ imaginations, especially about choosing a Take Action Project. Visits to local organizations with antiviolence or conflict-mediation programs are sure to fuel any ideas the Cadettes have about “spreading the peace.”

RetreatsA weekend away from it all (maybe even at a Girl Scout camp) is a great way for girls to engage in the discussions and role playing that await them in aMAZE. The more relaxed the girls are, the more they’ll dive into the relationship obstacles they encounter in the maze of life.

MAKING MEMORIESIf the Cadettes want to create a visual record of any activity along the journey, encourage them to bring to the sessions their cameras, video cameras, or cell phones with picture/video capability. Their books end with a series of journal pages where they can record their thoughts and also archive any “visual memories.”

PREPARE AHEADAhead of each meeting with the Cadettes, you’ll find it useful to read through the sample session, or the revised session you have developed in partnership with the girls. Thinking about the session as a whole lets you concentrate on the potential impact of each discussion and activity. At the start of sessions, you’ll see handy “Advance Prep” tips. Some involve material preparations; others relate to session topics and offer ideas about how to approach them with the girls. Following these tips will ensure that you’re ready to guide girls forward in a fun and fresh way.

KEEP BASIC MATERIALS HANDYA box or bag with markers, pens, scrap paper, glue, scissors, and masking tape will prove handy to bring to the sessions. Perhaps girls and their families can help round up these basic supplies—leftovers will do. If your meeting space has a blackboard or newsprint and easel you can use, that’s great. Otherwise, you might want to have a few poster boards or sheets of newsprint handy. Don’t invest in anything expensive—recycle file folders, use the back of posters, and so on. A few sessions also note other simple materials specific to the suggested activities.

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Invite the teams to mark their mazes with sketches, text bubbles, or doodles

that show the relationship issues they navigate in their lives. Encourage them to

show both the challenges that occur in the maze and the “resources” they use to

overcome those challenges (such as support from others they trust). Perhaps they

also want to show the role of great friendships in the maze and other “positives”

that occur in their interactions.

As the teams finish up, ask them to think of one phrase or slogan (something

short that could fit on a bumper sticker) that completes the sentence:

Our lives are like a maze because . . .

Call the full group back together and invite each team to present its maze—and

some of the issues they illustrated on it. In groups where the girls do not know

one another, the members of each mini team might also introduce themselves to

the larger group before sharing their maze. Ask each team to end its presentation

by sharing its “bumper sticker” slogan.

Put the heading “Our life is a maze because” on a poster board (or any paper you

have handy). As each team gives its “bumper sticker” phrase, add it to the board

(or ask a girl to), forming a team poem as you go. Let girls know that their mini

mazes and the team poem they just created represent a giant maze that you are

all entering together.

Transition to a discussion about the purpose of the journey. Perhaps use some

discussion starters like these (but feel free to reword them in your own voice):

• W e’ve been looking at how our lives are like mazes. Mazes have twists, turns,

and unexpected changes—just like the relationships we navigate in our lives.

• And even though most mazes have just one true path, navigating life doesn’t

have to be a one-size-fits-all solution. You can confront obstacles, try shortcuts,

and take chances as you try to find the right way.

• Along the passageways of this aMAZE journey, we’ll explore how to have the

best and the healthiest relationships we can—and how to be really confident

about how we navigate them.

• We’ll also think about—and experience—how, when we bring more confidence

and skill to our relationships, we can create better relationships that may

actually improve the world around us.

Refer girls to the aMAZE map on the cover of their books. Talk about how it gives

them the chance to see some of the topics they will explore along the journey,

and how the passageways connect.

What’s In Your Maze?

This activity gets girls thinking together about the relationship issues that make

their lives “mazelike.” It also engages girls in getting to know one another and

beginning to team up.

Start by asking the Cadettes to form small groups of two to four girls. (In large

groups or groups where girls don’t know each other, count off the groups so that

girls have a chance to meet and can bypass any discomfort involved in choosing

teams.)

Invite girls to introduce themselves in their small groups—perhaps saying

something about themselves, such as their favorite thing to do when they have

free time. But encourage the girls to vary their answers, so that those girls who

know others might share something new.

Give each group a piece of paper or cardboard (or anything they can write on)

and markers or pens and ask them to take a few minutes to draw a maze of their

own—complex or simple.

Then ask each group to brainstorm the ways in which their lives are like a maze,

using real-life experiences. You might say, or even post, some thought starters for

girls, such as:

• Who sits where at lunch time?

• Whom do you count on? Where do you “meet them” in the maze?

• Ever have a conflict with best friends? Does that shift your path?

• Ouch! Something hurt your feelings. What?

• Where do new friends come in?

• Do bullies affect you? Maybe you sometimes are the bullies?

• What do you talk about online?

• Who said what to whom?

• What will be going on for you over the next few years? What new things

might get added to your maze?

• Who are the adults who help you through the maze?

• How about friends? What do they do that helps?

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TIPS FOR

SHARING AND

DISCUSSING

When inviting girls to

share ideas and feelings,

always let them know

that it’s OK to “pass”

or just offer a brief

thought or two. And let

girls know that it’s fine

to share general ideas

without getting into

specifics. For example,

they might say, “True

friendships are a great

resource to get out of

a tangle in the maze”

rather than, “My friends

_____ and _____ are so

great because they

____ .” Repeat these

instructions as needed

throughout the journey,

depending on the

comfort level of sharing

that the girls show.

GET CREATIVE

If the group has time

(today or another

day) and the interest,

encourage the girls to

create “life is a maze”

poems, drawings, or

song lyrics. They might

do this on their own

or in small teams—and

they can build from their

“Life is a maze because

. . . ” team poem. They

might even want to

display their creations

for themselves or others.

They could be a part of

an awareness project or

workshop for younger

girls that they integrate

into their Take Action

plans as the journey

progresses.

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SAMPLE SESSION 1First Impressions in the Maze

NO BALL, NO TIME?Write each question on a scrap of paper and place all the scraps in a bag. Instead of throwing a ball, girls can pass the bag and pick a slip.

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• Inflatable beach ball or other inexpensive ball marked with “Beneath the Surface” questions (see list at right and page 20 of girls’ book)

• Paper and markers, including a thin, permanent marker• Envelopes

• Posterboard, newsprint, or any large paper

AT A GLANCEGoal: Girls explore relationship obstacles and the impact first impressions have on relationships.

MATERIALS

• Beneath the Surface• Closing Ceremony: Going for Goals

• What’s in Your Maze?• Choices for the Journey

ADVANCE PREPInflate the beach ball, if necessary, and use a thin permanent marker to write

“Beneath the Surface” questions from the list below around the ball. Then

use masking tape to cover the questions. The tape gets peeled off as girls pass

the ball and answer a question beneath. (This is a perfect opportunity for girl

volunteers to assist.)

Sample “Beneath the Surface” QuestionsSample questions are also on page 20 of the girls’ book. Mix in some of the ones

below, or any of your own, to give the Cadettes something new to think about.• Something obvious about me is . . .• Only a few other people know that I . . .• My biggest fear is . . .• A time when my impression of someone was very wrong was . . . • The nicest thing someone has ever done for me is . . . • Two words people use to describe me are . . . • Before people get to know me, they assume I . . . • The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . . • A song that always makes me happy is . . . • If I could have only one artistic talent, it would be . . . • If I could excel at only one sport it would be . . .• My family made me proud when . . .

• The first thing I notice about someone new is . . . • The first thing I hope others notice about me when we meet is . . .• Three qualities a leader should have are . . .

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SAMPLE SESSION 1

First Impressions in the Maze

NO BALL,

NO TIME?

Write each question on

a scrap of paper and

place all the scraps in a

bag. Instead of throwing

a ball, girls can pass the

bag and pick a slip.

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• Inflatable beach ball or other

inexpensive ball marked with

“Beneath the Surface” questions

(see list at right and page 20 of

girls’ book)

• Paper and markers, including a thin,

permanent marker

• Envelopes


AT A GLANCE

Goal: Girls explore relationship obstacles and the

impact first impressions have on relationships.

MATERIALS

• Beneath the Surface

• Closing Ceremony: Going for Goals• What’s in Your Maze?

• Choices for the Journey

ADVANCE PREP

Inflate the beach ball, if necessary, and use a thin permanent marker to write





Sample “Beneath the Surface” Questions

Sample questions are also on page 20 of the girls’ book. Mix in some of the ones

below, or any of your own, to give the Cadettes something new to think about.

• Something obvious about me is . . .

• Only a few other people know that I . . .

• My biggest fear is . . .

• A time when my impression of someone was very wrong was . . .

• The nicest thing someone has ever done for me is . . .

• Two words people use to describe me are . . .

• Before people get to know me, they assume I . . .

• The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . .

• A song that always makes me happy is . . .

• If I could have only one artistic talent, it would be . . .

• If I could excel at only one sport it would be . . .

• My family made me proud when . . .

• The first thing I notice about someone new is . . .

• The first thing I hope others notice about me when we meet is . . .

• Three qualities a leader should have are . . .

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Dear Volunteers,

Congratulations! Because of you—

and a network of volunteers like you

across the country—middle school

girls (in Girl Scouting, we call them

Cadettes) are about to learn how to

deal with bully prevention and make

a difference in the world.

Bully behavior tends to peak in

middle school, making these years

the most important time to promote

positive social and leadership skills.

The good news? It can be done!

Through BFF, which was developed

to work alongside the aMAZE!

Journey leadership curriculum, you

will help girls change their behavior

and develop friendship skills, which

ultimately will change their

relationships—and their future!

Think about it—not only will these

skills help girls thrive in middle

school, they’ll also help girls succeed

throughout their lives. No matter

what jobs girls have or where life

takes them, they’ll need to solve

conflicts, build teams, rely on their

confidence, and influence others

with smart ideas.

Can you imagine it? Thousands of

middle school girls leading with

friendship all across the country!

aMAZE! to BFF

(Be a Friend First)

BFF Be a Friend First • 5

12 • BFF Booklet

First Impressions in the MazeSession 1:

OPENING CEREMONYv DO: It’s your first session, so everyone’s bound to feel a little nervous, and that’s normal. This activity will help break the ice, let girls hear their own voices, and get comfortable sharing.

? ASK: Girls to share something funny or interesting about themselves that others in the group wouldn’t know, like: Pet’s name? Vegetable they refuse to eat? Sport they’re best at? One thing they’re afraid of? (could be spiders, riding on planes, taking tests). Where their name came from?

TEAM AGREEMENT Page 35

* SAY: “Great! Now that we all know each other a bit better, let’s talk about what we’re here for. BFF stands for ‘Be a Friend First’—a name middle school girls like you came up with! In BFF, we’ll be talking, sharing, playing games, and doing things that will lead you all to healthier friendships! And in the process, you’ll learn how to have the confidence to stand up to bullies and understand what bully behavior is all about. You’ll also come up with a project to share what you’ve learned to help others. Ready to get started?”* SAY: “As we go through BFF, it’s important that we trust one another and have space to be honest and open. Do you want one of you to write the team agreement on a piece of paper, all of you sign the back, and bring it to each meeting as a reminder?”? ASK: What do we need to promise each other, so that we can have a really positive experience relating to others through this experience? Are there some ground rules we want to set up? v DO: Invite girls to brainstorm a team agreement. Offer the following if they haven’t already come up with their own:We will watch our body language when we talk and listen (no eye rolling).If we have a conflict with someone in the group, we can…If we have a different opinion, we can…Gossip would be hurtful because…

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Choices for the JourneyInvite the girls to form one big circle. Mention that circles are an important way to relate; everyone can see one another, so everyone is equal and can focus their energy together as a team. Then, suggest that the team now create a plan for how this journey through aMAZE will unfold. If there are any time limits to work around, mention them up front, so girls know the parameters within which they can get creative. And if the team has plenty of time, encourage the girls to stretch out the trip.

Perhaps a few of the girls would like to capture what the group discusses (just the big points) on a large sheet of paper that the team can refer back to along the journey.

Introduce each area of choice-making, and invite girls to participate in creating a great experience. Here are some of the choices to discuss and some ideas about how to approach them:

AwardsFind out if the girls are interested in earning the Interact, Diplomat, and Peacemaker awards during the journey. (They can earn one, two, or all three.) Review the steps to the awards as given on page 9 of the girls’ book.• Mention that the Take Action Project can be a team effort in which girls will


community of their choice. • If girls are not interested in the Diplomat Award, which involves doing a Take



time? Do the girls want to plan these sessions themselves?Using Ceremonies to Connect at Each MeetingExplain that ceremonies, even short ones, can be a great way to take a little time out together to mark each Cadette gathering as special and separate from the rest of the day. Ceremonies can be a fun way for girls to connect and relate to each other. Ask the girls if they have any ideas for ceremonies, such as lighting candles or listening to music—or offer up some of the suggestions on the next page. Then ask the girls if they want to have ceremonies to open and/or close their time together. Find out which girls might like to plan and lead some ceremonies—perhaps even circulate a sign-up list.

Sample Ceremonies• Create a “conversation starters” jar in which girls place slips of paper on which they’ve written words or phrases that capture various relationship topics



and then starts a short group talk about what’s written on it.• The girls take turns selecting songs that reflect relationship issues they are



a cell phone), and then take a few minutes to relate the song to aMAZE.• Each girl brings pictures from magazines that reflect a direction or an interest she hopes to follow in life’s maze. Create a team poster from those


pictures mean to them and the leadership skills needed to navigate life’s maze successfully in that way. If space allows, leave the team poster hanging


Team AgreementClose the discussion by inviting girls to make a team agreement. Say something like: As we travel through aMAZE, it’s important that we trust one another. What do we need to promise each other, so that we can have a really positive experience relating to others along this journey? Then, offer these ideas:• We will watch our body language when we talk and listen (no eye rolling!)• If we have a conflict with someone in the group, we can . . . • If we have a different opinion, we can . . . • Gossip would be hurtful because . . . Perhaps one of the girls can capture the team agreement on paper so it can be brought to all meetings and the girls can check in on how they are doing.

LET GIRLS DO THE ADDING ONIf it’s possible for the girls to have trips, retreats, guest speakers, or other add-ons during or after their journey, invite them to brainstorm the possibilities, and to take lead roles in planning them. For example, perhaps girls want to cover the session on cliques during an overnight gathering or perhaps they want to plan a closing party. Maybe they want to flip through their books and select the activities and topics that interest them the most, and plan a mega-session to dive into them. Encourage the girls to discuss any “make it your own” journey ideas they might have.

NO CEREMONIES? NO WORRIESIf ceremonies don’t interest the girls, don’t be concerned. Upcoming sessions offer suggestions for simple ceremonies (no planning needed) that the Cadettes can perform spontaneously, should they decide they want an opening of some kind.


ACTIVITY

Beneath the Surface

v DO: The activity on page 36.

ADD A BULLY-PREVENTION FOCUS!

? ASK: What does it mean to: Be a friend first?

Go beneath the surface?

Not be judgmental?

WHAT YOU’LL DO

� Opening Ceremony

� Team Agreement

� Activity 1: Beneath the Surface

� Activity 2: What Do Bullies Look Like?

� Walk In My Shoes (optional)

ACTIVITY

What Do Bullies Look Like?

* SAY: “Before you can figure out what a healthy and fun friendship

is, you have to think about what makes a relationship unhealthy—

even hurtful. When we think of the opposite of a good friend, we

might think of a ‘bully.’ ”

v DO: Ask girls to close their eyes to picture what a bully

looks like. You might say, “Imagine a bully from movies or TV shows

you’ve watched.”

Have girls take out blank paper and pencils and draw a bully! The

goal is to have girls draw what they see when they picture a bully

in their minds. Let them know that artistic talent isn’t necessary

and that there is no “right” way to draw a bully. Make sure they

know their drawings are strictly confidential and encourage them

to be as clear and honest as possible.

? ASK: What do you think a bully looks like?

What characteristics do you think he/she might have?

How do you know?

How old is your bully?

Is your bully smart? Popular?

Once girls have finished their drawings, collect and save them to

redistribute in Session 8 to see whether their ideas about bullying

or bullies have changed or stayed the same.

» HAVE MORE TIME?

Walk In My Shoes

* SAY: “Never judge someone else

until you’ve walked a mile in

their shoes. Let’s figure out what

that old proverb means!”

v DO: Invite girls to trace

their shoes on a piece

of drawing paper.

• Ask each to define themselves

on the paper by using the

qualities of friendship they

believe best describes them.

(Girls can refer to “Qualities

of Friends” on page 32 of

their girl book.)

• After, ask girls to pair up,

preferably with someone

they don’t know well, and

invite them to share their

characteristics by switching

papers and standing in the

other girl’s shoe drawing.

? ASK: What did you learn about

your partner that you didn’t

know before?

What do you share in common?

What do you think it means to

walk a mile in someone else’s

shoes?

How do you think it helps

to see things from another

person’s perspective?

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Closing Ceremony: Going for Goals

Ask the girls to form small teams of three to four so they will be able to talk

easily with one another and gain support for the personal goals they are going to

identify. (There tends to be greater personal commitment when sharing a goal in

a small group, as opposed to a large one.)

Give a piece of paper to each girl and explain the activity by saying something

like:

• Today we’ve been exploring how, when solving a maze, you rely on certain

strategies or techniques. The same is true when you’re striving toward a goal

in life. Your goal is much like the end point you’re trying to reach when you

navigate a maze.

Then:

• Ask the girls to brainstorm the relationship issues that most affect them,

whether it’s standing up to a bully, getting out of a negative clique, improving a

friendship, making more friends, or something else entirely.

• Each girl then chooses which issue (or two) she wants to solve for herself,

and writes it (or them) on her sheet of paper. She then puts the paper in an

envelope that she addresses to herself.

• Collect the sealed envelopes and let girls know you’ll return them at the

end of the journey, so they can reflect on how they progressed toward their

goal. Let them know the reflection will be just for them—unless they choose

to share.

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LARGE GROUP?

If your Cadette group

has more than 10-12

girls, perhaps divide

them into smaller

groups—each with its

own ball. That way,

every girl can have a

chance to answer a

question.

FOR THE NEXT SESSION

Ask girls to bring to the next session a small, empty box or other

container and some odds and ends for decorating it (wrapping

paper, ribbon, beads, glue). Encourage them to bring items to

share, too. If everyone brings a little something different, the

decorating will be that much more interesting.

Ask if any girls want to volunteer to:

• Plan a simple opening ceremony.

• Lead a brainstorm about friendship qualities

(pages 31–32 in the girls’ book)

• Host an “Ask the Expert Talk Show” (page 45 in this guide)

Beneath the Surface

This team activity, featured on page 20 of the girls’ book, lets the Cadettes

discover their similarities and reveal their differences. It also gets them thinking

about how first impressions and assumptions might hinder their relationships.

Have girls stand in a circle. Explain:

• When the ball is passed to you, remove one piece of tape and answer the

question underneath.

• After answering, toss the ball to a girl who has not yet had a turn.

Then give the ball to one of the girls to start the process. After each girl has had

a chance to catch the ball and respond to a question, start a conversation about

first impressions. Guide a meaningful discussion by perhaps asking some of

these questions:

• Have you ever thought you knew something about someone else but found out

you were wrong? Explain.

• How do first impressions impact teams?

• What happens when we act as if everyone is exactly the way we first perceived

them? Talk about how this can include or exclude others.

• When you walk into a room and realize you don’t know anyone else there, what

do you usually do to feel comfortable with others?

• What do you base your first impression on?

• How accurate do you think your first impressions are when meeting people for

the first time?

• When have you had a completely wrong first impression of someone, and what

changed your mind?

• Can you think of situations when people had a wrong first impression of you?

What did you do to give an accurate impression of yourself?

• What could you do so that first impressions allow you to see people for who

they really are, rather than who you think they are?

Getting Started: What You’ll Use

Here’s How to Use This Booklet

aMAZE! Adult Guide: Use this to guide Girl Scout Cadettes through aMAZE!

BFF Booklet: Use this with your aMAZE! Adult Guide for bully-prevention tips, discussion questions, and additional activities.

aMAZE! Girl Book: Each girl should have her own aMAZE! girl book. From time to time during this experience, you’ll refer to activities in this book.

3. Most activities in BFF link to the ones in your aMAZE! Adult Guide or the aMAZE! Girl Book. But when they don’t, simply follow the prompts as instructed.

2. Next, turn to page 12 of this BFF booklet. In each session, you’ll be prompted to do one or all of the following to add a bully-prevention focus to the girls’ experience:

v DO: Follow these instructions for the opening ceremony or activity

* SAY: Share the talking points provided

? ASK: Get a discussion going with these questions for girls

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This guide provides a sample schedule for an eight-session journey, with each session lasting about 75-90 minutes. You’ll probably find that each sample session offers more than you and the girls will cover in that time. That’s perfectly fine because how you decide to work with the sample sessions will be influenced by the girls’ input and basic logistics, such as how much time the girls want to spend on the journey overall and whether they want to add on trips or other activities.

During your first gathering, partner with the girls to customize the journey to suit their needs and interests (see page 34 for possible discussion prompts). You may find that the girls want to extend a particular activity or move through some activities quickly and linger over others. As you get to know your group of Cadettes, you’ll be able to customize what you do and the time you spend on each activity even further.

THE JOURNEY’S 8 SAMPLE SESSIONS

“I like the fact that the girls can come to our meetings and feel comfortable and secure; they are not afraid to speak their minds. I am amazed at the comments they make regarding school and teachers and issues they face.” —Connie A. Fratianni, Girl Scout volunteer and alumna, Manhasset, New York

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Choices for the Journey

Invite the girls to form one big circle. Mention that circles are an important









the journey.




Awards




• Mention that the Take Action Project can be a team effort in which girls will


community of their choice.

• If girls are not interested in the Diplomat Award, which involves doing a Take



time? Do the girls want to plan these sessions themselves?










Sample Ceremonies

• Create a “conversation starters” jar in which girls place slips of paper on

which they’ve written words or phrases that capture various relationship topics



and then starts a short group talk about what’s written on it.

• The girls take turns selecting songs that reflect relationship issues they are



a cell phone), and then take a few minutes to relate the song to aMAZE.

• Each girl brings pictures from magazines that reflect a direction or an

interest she hopes to follow in life’s maze. Create a team poster from those


pictures mean to them and the leadership skills needed to navigate life’s

maze successfully in that way. If space allows, leave the team poster hanging












LET GIRLS DO

THE ADDING ON









planning them. For


want to cover the





Maybe they want to










have.

NO

CEREMONIES?

NO WORRIES


interest the girls,





needed) that the





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Movie NightsMany of the relationship topics addressed in this journey are poignantly portrayed (though sometimes exaggerated) in contemporary and classic films. Movie and discussion nights are a great way for girls to sample the many passageways of aMAZE. Girls might even want to partner up with other Cadette groups in the area for mega movie nights.

Fresh PerspectivesHearing about the experiences of older girls and women can add fresh perspectives to the knowledge Cadettes gain through aMAZE. You don’t need to look very far to expand the horizons of middle schoolers. They respect high school girls, so you might invite Girl Scout Seniors and Ambassadors, or other teen community members, to present their own insights on the journey’s relationship topics (it’s also a chance for the older teens to develop their leadership skills). Your community may have experts in conflict mediation, networking strategies, or other relationship-building skills that you can tap as well.Creative StuffGirls who like to make things—crafts, foods, DIY (“Do It Yourself”) projects, inventions, videos—will enjoy sharing their talents with the team. So encourage the girls to share their “favorite to-do’s” with each other. They can even give each other something they make, which puts an aMAZing twist on their creativity!

Stretching Out the JourneyIf the team has time, you might stretch the journey beyond eight sessions. In fact, you may find that that one session can become three. But if you are on a tight schedule, simply engage the girls in the topics they most want to cover in each session. Either way, the goal is for you and the Cadettes to have a meaningful journey. So try to build in time all along the way for the Cadettes to just hang out together, enjoying the safe space and emotional connections so important to girls at this age—and so much a part of what makes Girl Scouting unique.

As time permits, you might want to try some “detours” and add-ons, including:Trips and Team-Building ActivitiesDepending on your location and the season, a visit to a corn maze, hedge maze, rock labyrinth, or other life-size maze will add life-size richness to the journey. (And it’s a great excuse for the girls to sightsee, shop, and eat—in other words, have some fun their way.)

While visiting a “real” maze, consider adding a team-building challenge to the experience. Girls could pair up and lead each other through the maze while blindfolded, or they could travel through the maze backwards. A short discussion about trust and its give-and-take in relationships would be a great way to round out the experience.

No maze in your region? Create one! The team (and the Family and Friends Network) could set up a mazelike obstacle course—it will give girls the sense of progressing through a series of challenges, and they can do it in pairs or as a team.

Field trips are also a great way to spark the girls’ imaginations, especially about choosing a Take Action Project. Visits to local organizations with antiviolence or conflict-mediation programs are sure to fuel any ideas the Cadettes have about “spreading the peace.”

RetreatsA weekend away from it all (maybe even at a Girl Scout camp) is a great way for girls to engage in the discussions and role playing that await them in aMAZE. The more relaxed the girls are, the more they’ll dive into the relationship obstacles they encounter in the maze of life.

MAKING MEMORIESIf the Cadettes want to create a visual record of any activity along the journey, encourage them to bring to the sessions their cameras, video cameras, or cell phones with picture/video capability. Their books end with a series of journal pages where they can record their thoughts and also archive any “visual memories.”

PREPARE AHEADAhead of each meeting with the Cadettes, you’ll find it useful to read through the sample session, or the revised session you have developed in partnership with the girls. Thinking about the session as a whole lets you concentrate on the potential impact of each discussion and activity. At the start of sessions, you’ll see handy “Advance Prep” tips. Some involve material preparations; others relate to session topics and offer ideas about how to approach them with the girls. Following these tips will ensure that you’re ready to guide girls forward in a fun and fresh way.

KEEP BASIC MATERIALS HANDYA box or bag with markers, pens, scrap paper, glue, scissors, and masking tape will prove handy to bring to the sessions. Perhaps girls and their families can help round up these basic supplies—leftovers will do. If your meeting space has a blackboard or newsprint and easel you can use, that’s great. Otherwise, you might want to have a few poster boards or sheets of newsprint handy. Don’t invest in anything expensive—recycle file folders, use the back of posters, and so on. A few sessions also note other simple materials specific to the suggested activities.

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Invite the teams to mark their mazes with sketches, text bubbles, or doodles

that show the relationship issues they navigate in their lives. Encourage them to

show both the challenges that occur in the maze and the “resources” they use to

overcome those challenges (such as support from others they trust). Perhaps they

also want to show the role of great friendships in the maze and other “positives”

that occur in their interactions.

As the teams finish up, ask them to think of one phrase or slogan (something

short that could fit on a bumper sticker) that completes the sentence:

Our lives are like a maze because . . .

Call the full group back together and invite each team to present its maze—and

some of the issues they illustrated on it. In groups where the girls do not know

one another, the members of each mini team might also introduce themselves to

the larger group before sharing their maze. Ask each team to end its presentation

by sharing its “bumper sticker” slogan.

Put the heading “Our life is a maze because” on a poster board (or any paper you

have handy). As each team gives its “bumper sticker” phrase, add it to the board

(or ask a girl to), forming a team poem as you go. Let girls know that their mini

mazes and the team poem they just created represent a giant maze that you are

all entering together.

Transition to a discussion about the purpose of the journey. Perhaps use some

discussion starters like these (but feel free to reword them in your own voice):

• W e’ve been looking at how our lives are like mazes. Mazes have twists, turns,

and unexpected changes—just like the relationships we navigate in our lives.

• And even though most mazes have just one true path, navigating life doesn’t

have to be a one-size-fits-all solution. You can confront obstacles, try shortcuts,

and take chances as you try to find the right way.

• Along the passageways of this aMAZE journey, we’ll explore how to have the

best and the healthiest relationships we can—and how to be really confident

about how we navigate them.

• We’ll also think about—and experience—how, when we bring more confidence

and skill to our relationships, we can create better relationships that may

actually improve the world around us.

Refer girls to the aMAZE map on the cover of their books. Talk about how it gives

them the chance to see some of the topics they will explore along the journey,

and how the passageways connect.

What’s In Your Maze?

This activity gets girls thinking together about the relationship issues that make

their lives “mazelike.” It also engages girls in getting to know one another and

beginning to team up.

Start by asking the Cadettes to form small groups of two to four girls. (In large

groups or groups where girls don’t know each other, count off the groups so that

girls have a chance to meet and can bypass any discomfort involved in choosing

teams.)

Invite girls to introduce themselves in their small groups—perhaps saying

something about themselves, such as their favorite thing to do when they have

free time. But encourage the girls to vary their answers, so that those girls who

know others might share something new.

Give each group a piece of paper or cardboard (or anything they can write on)

and markers or pens and ask them to take a few minutes to draw a maze of their

own—complex or simple.

Then ask each group to brainstorm the ways in which their lives are like a maze,

using real-life experiences. You might say, or even post, some thought starters for

girls, such as:

• Who sits where at lunch time?

• Whom do you count on? Where do you “meet them” in the maze?

• Ever have a conflict with best friends? Does that shift your path?

• Ouch! Something hurt your feelings. What?

• Where do new friends come in?

• Do bullies affect you? Maybe you sometimes are the bullies?

• What do you talk about online?

• Who said what to whom?

• What will be going on for you over the next few years? What new things

might get added to your maze?

• Who are the adults who help you through the maze?

• How about friends? What do they do that helps?

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TIPS FOR

SHARING AND

DISCUSSING

When inviting girls to

share ideas and feelings,

always let them know

that it’s OK to “pass”

or just offer a brief

thought or two. And let

girls know that it’s fine

to share general ideas

without getting into

specifics. For example,

they might say, “True

friendships are a great

resource to get out of

a tangle in the maze”

rather than, “My friends

_____ and _____ are so

great because they

____ .” Repeat these

instructions as needed

throughout the journey,

depending on the

comfort level of sharing

that the girls show.

GET CREATIVE

If the group has time

(today or another

day) and the interest,

encourage the girls to

create “life is a maze”

poems, drawings, or

song lyrics. They might

do this on their own

or in small teams—and

they can build from their

“Life is a maze because

. . . ” team poem. They

might even want to

display their creations

for themselves or others.

They could be a part of

an awareness project or

workshop for younger

girls that they integrate

into their Take Action

plans as the journey

progresses.

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SAMPLE SESSION 1First Impressions in the Maze

NO BALL, NO TIME?Write each question on a scrap of paper and place all the scraps in a bag. Instead of throwing a ball, girls can pass the bag and pick a slip.

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• Inflatable beach ball or other inexpensive ball marked with “Beneath the Surface” questions (see list at right and page 20 of girls’ book)

• Paper and markers, including a thin, permanent marker• Envelopes


AT A GLANCEGoal: Girls explore relationship obstacles and the impact first impressions have on relationships.

MATERIALS

• Beneath the Surface• Closing Ceremony: Going for Goals

• What’s in Your Maze?• Choices for the Journey

ADVANCE PREPInflate the beach ball, if necessary, and use a thin permanent marker to write “Beneath the Surface” questions from the list below around the ball. Then use masking tape to cover the questions. The tape gets peeled off as girls pass the ball and answer a question beneath. (This is a perfect opportunity for girl volunteers to assist.)

Sample “Beneath the Surface” QuestionsSample questions are also on page 20 of the girls’ book. Mix in some of the ones below, or any of your own, to give the Cadettes something new to think about.• Something obvious about me is . . .• Only a few other people know that I . . .• My biggest fear is . . .• A time when my impression of someone was very wrong was . . . • The nicest thing someone has ever done for me is . . . • Two words people use to describe me are . . . • Before people get to know me, they assume I . . . • The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . . • A song that always makes me happy is . . . • If I could have only one artistic talent, it would be . . . • If I could excel at only one sport it would be . . .• My family made me proud when . . .• The first thing I notice about someone new is . . . • The first thing I hope others notice about me when we meet is . . .• Three qualities a leader should have are . . .

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SAMPLE SESSION 1


NO BALL,

NO TIME?

Write each question on

a scrap of paper and

place all the scraps in a

bag. Instead of throwing

a ball, girls can pass the

bag and pick a slip.

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• Inflatable beach ball or other

inexpensive ball marked with

“Beneath the Surface” questions

(see list at right and page 20 of

girls’ book)

• Paper and markers, including a thin,

permanent marker

• Envelopes


AT A GLANCE

Goal: Girls explore relationship obstacles and the

impact first impressions have on relationships.

MATERIALS

• Beneath the Surface

• Closing Ceremony: Going for Goals• What’s in Your Maze?

• Choices for the Journey

ADVANCE PREP

Inflate the beach ball, if necessary, and use a thin permanent marker to write





Sample “Beneath the Surface” Questions

Sample questions are also on page 20 of the girls’ book. Mix in some of the ones

below, or any of your own, to give the Cadettes something new to think about.

• Something obvious about me is . . .

• Only a few other people know that I . . .

• My biggest fear is . . .

• A time when my impression of someone was very wrong was . . .

• The nicest thing someone has ever done for me is . . .

• Two words people use to describe me are . . .

• Before people get to know me, they assume I . . .

• The funniest thing that ever happened to me was . . .

• A song that always makes me happy is . . .

• If I could have only one artistic talent, it would be . . .

• If I could excel at only one sport it would be . . .

• My family made me proud when . . .

• The first thing I notice about someone new is . . .

• The first thing I hope others notice about me when we meet is . . .

• Three qualities a leader should have are . . .

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1. Open your aMAZE! Adult Guide to page 30. This is the first of eight sample sessions.

» TIMING CONSIDERATION!

During your sessions, you might be limited for time, so at the beginning of each

session, we created a planner called “What You’ll Do,” indicating which activities

are optional. You still might not have time for everything, and that’s okay! Try to

engage girls in at least one activity from each session.

6 • BFF Booklet

Staying Connected!

When they complete BFF with the aMAZE! leadership curriculum, let Girl Scouts know there are many ways to continue their experience. They might want to:

• Participate in cookie sales to learn about how to run a business. Plus, they can earn money to use for other adventures in Girl Scouting, maybe even a trip!

• Go to summer camp to learn outdoor skills and make new friends.

• Continue to earn awards, such as Forever Green, Bronze, Silver, and Gold awards.

Do another leadership Journey: It’s Your Planet—Love It!: Breathe and It’s Your Story—Tell It!: MEdia—two more Journey curriculums aimed at middle school girls. (Older teen girls can look to Senior and Ambassador Journeys developed just for them!)

Travel the world! To find out more, see destinations on our Girl Scouts website: http://www.girlscouts.org/forgirls/travel/destinations.

Invite girls to go to the “For Girls” section on www.girlscouts.org to see what other Girl Scouts are up to. Check out council websites and calendars for events. And speak to your designated council contact for more ideas about how to keep teen girls involved in Girl Scouts!

Girl Scout Connection

If you and some of the girls are new to Girl Scouting, you’ll want to explain what it means for girls in middle school and high school to be Girl Scouts. Simply stated:

• They’ve just become part of the largest organization for girls in the world!

• They are part of a leadership movement that builds girls’ courage, confidence, and character.

• They don’t have to be in a troop to be a Girl Scout. There are opportunities for them to be involved in something they care about, just like this BFF experience!

• They have an opportunity to be a role model for younger girls who will look to them for guidance as they follow in their footsteps.

• They are guided by the helpful principles of the Promise and Law (see the inside front cover of your aMAZE! Adult Guide or direct girls to the inside front cover of their girl book).

BFF is designed to work with aMAZE!, the Girl Scout

leadership development curriculum for middle school,

which has ties to educational standards across the country.For more information, go to http://www.girlscouts.org/program/journeys/curriculum.

» OPENING CEREMONY: A GIRL SCOUT TRADITION

Each BFF session includes an

opening ceremony, which is an

important way to develop trust

and camaraderie with the girls,

and set the theme and tone for

each session.

» SHARE SUCCESS!

Girls have opportunities to

share their results with other

girls by posting online.

Map It! An interactive map

lets girls show how they

changed the world and earned

awards. Go to http://forgirls

.girlscouts.org/map-it-

girls-changing-the-world.

Girl Scouts Speak Out!

Girls make public-service

announcements that

inspire someone to create

change. Go to http://

speakout.girlscouts.org.


» HELP GIRLS EARN AWARDS!

Girls love earning recognition—like making captain

of their soccer team or winning a spelling bee. In

the aMAZE! Journey and BFF, Cadettes get to earn

three national Girl Scouts leadership awards in the

form of badges—an iconic part of Girl Scouting!

All award steps are built into your aMAZE! Adult

Guide (pages 8–9) and are also highlighted here

with a bully-prevention focus. Let girls know that

there will be different opportunities to earn one,

two, or all three awards—then let them decide!

INTERACT AWARD

To earn it, girls must complete three of the nine

challenges on pages 12–15 of their girl book.

Add a bully-prevention focus by telling girls:

“Interacting is a great way to be a friend first, which

is what BFF is about! Try small—and positive—ways of

interacting in your daily lives. Talk to someone at school,

Girl Scouts, or in your place of worship you don’t usually

talk to. Or ask a new friend to join in on an activity!”

DIPLOMAT AWARD

In BFF, girls can earn this award after completing

a Take Action project to create awareness and

help bully prevention. Girls will have the time

and space to work on their Take Action project

in sessions 5–8. Invite them to look at the seven

steps toward Taking Action on page 114 of their girl

book. Let girls know that earning a Diplomat Award

makes them part of the big network of girls changing

the world right now—through better relationships!

PEACEMAKER AWARD

Girls collect relationship “tools” (this might be

a poem, a drawing, something symbolizing

peace or friendship) to add to a container

or “Peacemaker Kit” they create. They earn

the Peacemaker Award at the end of BFF by

reviewing the tools they collected, and making a

commitment to use them throughout their lives.

Take Action for BFF

Girls Take Action to bring about change in their school, neighborhood, or larger community using what they learned in BFF. Time is built into sessions 5–8 for girls to team up and develop a meaningful Take Action project that creates healthy relationships and peace while developing a solution to bullying that is specific to their community needs. Page 69 of your aMAZE! Adult Guide has some Take Action ideas suited for BFF. Here are more to help inspire girls:

Netiquette: Girls collaborate on an online code of ethics that explains how people should treat one another online. (Suggest that they present it to their school administrators or create a poster with the 10 ways for positive online usage and get permission to post on campus.)

BFF Art Installation: Girls use washable chalk to write anti-bullying or friendship-boosting slogans on a public sidewalk to promote peace and friendship.

Global Action Pen Pals: Create a network of global pen pals to help spread bully-prevention awareness. Girls can reach out to other girls around the world.

Peacemaker Poetry Jam: Girls write, rehearse, and perform their poems dealing with stereotypes, peer pressure, or bullying.

Faculty/Parent Night: Girls share what they’ve learned about bully behavior with adults. They might do it as a role-play skit. Or perhaps girls can sit on a panel where they discuss and answer questions about bully behavior.

BFF Story Club: Girls select and discuss a movie or book that shows girls’ relationships and bully behavior.

BFF Media List: Girls compile a “Be a Friend First” media list: books, movies, TV shows, video games, music, and websites where girls’ friendships are depicted as healthy relationships.

8 • BFF Booklet

What Is Bullying?

Bullying can be:

Physical (kicking, hitting, spitting, taking and/or damaging property or belongings)

Verbal (threats, teasing, taunting, name-calling, offensive or derogatory remarks)

Indirect (gossip, spreading negative rumors or stories about someone, lying, excluding people from social groups)

Virtual (cyberbullying is the term given to sending negative or threatening messages, texts, or pictures via email, instant messages, cell phones, chat rooms, or websites)

How Girls Bully

Girls are more likely to use “relational aggression”—emotionally hurtful behavior that includes gossip, exclusion, and teasing. “Cyberbullying”—spreading malicious rumors or private photos via texts and tweets, or on social media sites—is another form of relational aggression.

Bully Behavior: Use This Term

Whenever possible, use terms that describe the “bully behavior” rather than the “bully,” so the emphasis is on a girl’s actions—not her whole person.

For example, you might say: “Have you ever engaged in any type of bully behavior?” Instead of saying: “Have you ever been a bully?”

Or you might say: “It seems that she might have taken the teasing a little too far.” Instead of saying: “It seems like she is a bully.”

Why People Bully

Girls might ask: “Why do people bully?”

* SAY: “People who engage in bully behavior frequently get pleasure—an emotional payoff—from the target’s response. So kids who get upset become targets; those who shrug off bully behavior are left alone.”

Girls might ask: “How do I defend myself against a bully?”

* SAY: “Your first instinct is to defend yourself—after all, you’re being attacked in some way. But research shows that one effective defense, in the moment when bullying is happening, is to show that insults don’t affect you.”

Help for Bully Victims

If a girl lets you know she’s experiencing emotional or physical violence, you will need to report it to a school or organization official and the contact person from your local Girl Scout Council. Even if something was shared in confidence, you are responsible for passing on information if a girl’s safety is in question. School or organization officials along with your council contact will address the issue according to their safety protocols.

Background information to help you feel more comfortable dealing

with bullying and related topics with the girls. Refer to this throughout

your sessions whenever questions are asked or issues arise.

TIPS ABOUT BULLYING

» ONLINE RESOURCES

We offer additional relationship

and bully-prevention activities

for girls online. They can go to

Forgirls.girlscouts.org/BFF

for games, quizzes, stories from

girls, and more!

There are other great resources

for adults and girls, such as

http://www.stopbullying.gov,

a federal website managed by the

U.S. Department of Health and

Human Services.


Team Spirit

Encourage girls to create an atmosphere of respect and collaboration during the opening sessions. In Session 1, they will draw up a Team Agreement. Take time at the end of sessions for girls to check in on how they’re functioning as a team, and to revisit the Team Agreement to adapt, if needed. For more, see “Cooperative Learning” on page 17 of your aMAZE! Adult Guide.

Keep It “Girl Led”

Let girls play an active part in figuring out the what, where, when, how, and why of their activities and Take Action projects. Trust that they know best where their schools and communities can use help with bully prevention. Coach the girls to lead the planning, decision-making, learning, and fun as much as possible. For more, see “Girl Led” on page 16 of your aMAZE! Adult Guide.

Okay to “Pass”

When sharing ideas and feelings, let girls know that it’s okay to “pass” or just offer a brief thought or two. And let girls know that it’s fine to share general ideas without getting personal or into specifics. Girls will be likelier to share when they’re in an environment where honest, open, and kind dialogue and confidentiality is respected.

Safe to Share

Talk of boys or jealousy may get uncomfortable for the girls, but it gives you the chance to explain that these issues arise all the time, and that the best way to work through them is openly and with people you trust. Remind girls that when such topics arise in BFF, they stay here, too!

Sensitive Topics

When an issue is raised that you feel you need help with, go to your designated council and school or organization contacts for support. It’s okay to tell girls, “I’m not sure how to answer that.” Let them know you’ll follow up with them about it later.

Friendship Talk

Girls might not know exactly what it means to be a good friend, but through BFF, you can help lead them to characteristics to look for in healthy relationships. (Point to the list of “Qualities of Friends,” on page 32 of their aMAZE! girl book.) Create an environment where girls can open up about what they need from their friends, what they bring to their friendships, and how to make and keep true friends.

Engaging Eighth-Grade Girls

If you’re guiding a mixed-age group, our research shows that eighth-grade girls have different interests, needs, and abilities than sixth- or seventh-graders. For eighth-graders, you might:

Let them lead an activity or discussion.

Encourage them to share how they felt (and dealt) with bullying when they were new to middle school and what they learned.

Invite them to serve as team captains when developing Take Action projects.

Ways to create a safe environment where

girls are confident to share openly, explore their

feelings, and practice new skills.

HOW TO GUIDE GIRLS

10 • BFF Booklet

About BFF:

You May Be Wondering…

Can I use the BFF (Be a Friend

First) booklet on its own?

No, this booklet is designed to work alongside the aMAZE! Adult Guide. While aMAZE! gives girls valuable skills and tools for navigating relationships, BFF takes girls a step deeper. How? By focusing on the confidence and skills they need to prevent all-too-prevalent bully behavior. In BFF, we add a bully-prevention focus through additional activities, bully information, and tips.

Do girls get BFF booklets too?

BFF booklets are designed for volunteers and facilitators, but each girl should have her own aMAZE! girl book. You will refer to their girl book for certain activities throughout BFF. The aMAZE! girl book is interactive with quizzes, ways to reflect, and journal space. Inspire girls to leave the BFF sessions and dig into their aMAZE! books in their free time!

How can girls earn awards in BFF?

Follow the steps outlined in your aMAZE! Adult Guide (pages 8–9). Then refer to page 7 of this BFF booklet under “Help Girls Earn Awards!” to see how to add a bully-prevention focus to their leadership awards. (Let girls know that there is an award description on page 9 of their girl book.)

What are my main goals for BFF?

To help girls develop skills for healthy relationships and prevent bullying in their own relationships, which they can use immediately and throughout their lives.

To guide girls to Take Action (and earn their Diplomat Award!) to create change in their school, neighborhood, or larger community using what they’ve learned. (Time is built into sessions 5–8 for girls to team up and develop a meaningful Take Action project that creates healthy relationships and peace while developing a solution to bullying that is specific to their community needs.)

How do I help girls Take

Action for BFF?

Coach girls to create meaningful action to impact a change—within the time they have. Meaningful does not mean long and complex, but encourage girls to look at solutions for bully-prevention issues they care about.

Look on page 20 of this BFF booklet and page 69 of your aMAZE! Adult Guide for some Take Action ideas suited for BFF.

Do not plan the project for girls. Instead, use these ideas to help ask thoughtful questions, provide inspiration, and keep the girls on track.

Remind girls that their Take Action project will help them earn a Diplomat Award.

Help girls focus on what is feasible and attainable, while being their biggest cheerleader!

Guide girls to feel confident, accomplished, and know that they have made a difference!

What if a Take Action

project costs money?

The Girl Scout Cookie Program is great way for girls to learn to run a business and fund their Girl Scout goals and plans! Talk to your designated Girl Scout contact about the timing of the Cookie Program in your community. Booth sales can offer girls a venue to tell others what they’re learning about and what they’re doing to better their schools and communities in the process.

Also encourage girls to think of Take Action projects that don’t cost money. For example, suggest that girls use their school auditorium to hold a poetry jam that will educate and inspire others in a fun, creative way.

What if we don’t have time to

do all eight sessions of BFF?

Depending on the girls’ schedules and how frequently you meet, BFF can easily be adapted to four or six sessions if they are condensed. How? Consider doing at least one activity from each session in the BFF booklet to maintain the progression. Each session opens with a planner of activities, showing which ones are optional.


Add a bully-prevention focus to each session.

12 • BFF Booklet


Session 1:

OPENING CEREMONY

v DO: It’s your first session, so everyone’s bound to feel a little nervous, and that’s normal. This activity will help break the ice, let girls hear their own voices, and get comfortable sharing.

? ASK: Girls to share something funny or interesting about themselves that others in the group wouldn’t know, like: Pet’s name? Vegetable they refuse to eat? Sport they’re best at? One thing they’re afraid of? (could be spiders, riding on planes, taking tests). Where their name came from?

TEAM AGREEMENT Page 35

* SAY: “Great! Now that we all know each other a bit better, let’s talk about what we’re here for. BFF stands for ‘Be a Friend First’—a name middle school girls like you came up with! In BFF, we’ll be talking, sharing, playing games, and doing things that will lead you all to healthier friendships! And in the process, you’ll learn how to have the confidence to stand up to bullies and understand what bully behavior is all about. You’ll also come up with a project to share what you’ve learned to help others. Ready to get started?”

* SAY: “As we go through BFF, it’s important that we trust one another and have space to be honest and open. Do you want one of you to write the team agreement on a piece of paper, all of you sign the back, and bring it to each meeting as a reminder?”

? ASK: What do we need to promise each other, so that we can have a really positive experience relating to others through this experience? Are there some ground rules we want to set up?

v DO: Invite girls to brainstorm a team agreement. Offer the following if they haven’t already come up with their own:

We will watch our body language when we talk and listen (no eye rolling).

If we have a conflict with someone in the group, we can…

If we have a different opinion, we can…

Gossip would be hurtful because…

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Choices for the JourneyInvite the girls to form one big circle. Mention that circles are an important









the journey.




Awards




• Mention that the Take Action Project can be a team effort in which girls will use their leadership skills to contribute to building positive relationships in a community of their choice.

• If girls are not interested in the Diplomat Award, which involves doing a Take Action Project, what would they like to do instead during Sessions 5-7? Are there any topics in their book that they want to talk more about during this time? Do the girls want to plan these sessions themselves?










Sample Ceremonies

• Create a “conversation starters” jar in which girls place slips of paper on which they’ve written words or phrases that capture various relationship topics (such as cliques, peer pressure, being yourself) and the leadership qualities or skills that go along with them. Each week, one girl chooses a slip of paper and then starts a short group talk about what’s written on it.

• The girls take turns selecting songs that reflect relationship issues they are experiencing or might encounter along the maze of life. At the start of each session, ask a girl to volunteer to play her song for the group (even if just from a cell phone), and then take a few minutes to relate the song to aMAZE.

• Each girl brings pictures from magazines that reflect a direction or an interest she hopes to follow in life’s maze. Create a team poster from those pictures. For an opening ceremony, encourage girls to talk about what their pictures mean to them and the leadership skills needed to navigate life’s maze successfully in that way. If space allows, leave the team poster hanging throughout each session.











LET GIRLS DO

THE ADDING ON









planning them. For


want to cover the





Maybe they want to










have.

NO

CEREMONIES?

NO WORRIES


interest the girls,





needed) that the






ACTIVITY

Beneath the Surface



? ASK: What does it mean to: Be a friend first? Go beneath the surface? Not be judgmental?

WHAT YOU’LL DO

� Opening Ceremony � Team Agreement � Activity 1: Beneath the Surface � Activity 2: What Do Bullies Look Like? � Walk In My Shoes (optional)

ACTIVITY

What Do Bullies Look Like?

* SAY: “Before you can figure out what a healthy and fun friendship is, you have to think about what makes a relationship unhealthy—even hurtful. When we think of the opposite of a good friend, we might think of a ‘bully.’ ”

v DO: Ask girls to close their eyes to picture what a bully looks like. You might say, “Imagine a bully from movies or TV shows you’ve watched.”

Have girls take out blank paper and pencils and draw a bully! The goal is to have girls draw what they see when they picture a bully in their minds. Let them know that artistic talent isn’t necessary and that there is no “right” way to draw a bully. Make sure they know their drawings are strictly confidential and encourage them to be as clear and honest as possible.

? ASK: What do you think a bully looks like?

What characteristics do you think he/she might have?

How do you know?

How old is your bully?

Is your bully smart? Popular?

Once girls have finished their drawings, collect and save them to redistribute in Session 8 to see whether their ideas about bullying or bullies have changed or stayed the same.

» HAVE MORE TIME?

Walk In My Shoes

* SAY: “Never judge someone else

until you’ve walked a mile in

their shoes. Let’s figure out what

that old proverb means!”

v DO: Invite girls to trace

their shoes on a piece

of drawing paper.

• Ask each to define themselves

on the paper by using the

qualities of friendship they

believe best describes them.

(Girls can refer to “Qualities

of Friends” on page 32 of

their girl book.)

• After, ask girls to pair up,

preferably with someone

they don’t know well, and

invite them to share their

characteristics by switching

papers and standing in the

other girl’s shoe drawing.

? ASK: What did you learn about your partner that you didn’t know before?

What do you share in common?

What do you think it means to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes?

How do you think it helps to see things from another person’s perspective?

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Closing Ceremony: Going for GoalsAsk the girls to form small teams of three to four so they will be able to talk





like:

• Today we’ve been exploring how, when solving a maze, you rely on certain strategies or techniques. The same is true when you’re striving toward a goal in life. Your goal is much like the end point you’re trying to reach when you navigate a maze.

Then:

• Ask the girls to brainstorm the relationship issues that most affect them, whether it’s standing up to a bully, getting out of a negative clique, improving a friendship, making more friends, or something else entirely.

• Each girl then chooses which issue (or two) she wants to solve for herself, and writes it (or them) on her sheet of paper. She then puts the paper in an envelope that she addresses to herself.

• Collect the sealed envelopes and let girls know you’ll return them at the end of the journey, so they can reflect on how they progressed toward their goal. Let them know the reflection will be just for them—unless they choose to share.

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LARGE GROUP?


has more than 10-12


them into smaller


own ball. That way,


chance to answer a

question.

FOR THE NEXT SESSIONAsk girls to bring to the next session a small, empty box or other container and some odds and ends for decorating it (wrapping paper, ribbon, beads, glue). Encourage them to bring items to share, too. If everyone brings a little something different, the decorating will be that much more interesting.



• Lead a brainstorm about friendship qualities (pages 31–32 in the girls’ book)


Beneath the SurfaceThis team activity, featured on page 20 of the girls’ book, lets the Cadettes




• When the ball is passed to you, remove one piece of tape and answer the question underneath.





these questions:

• Have you ever thought you knew something about someone else but found out you were wrong? Explain.


• What happens when we act as if everyone is exactly the way we first perceived them? Talk about how this can include or exclude others.

• When you walk into a room and realize you don’t know anyone else there, what do you usually do to feel comfortable with others?


• How accurate do you think your first impressions are when meeting people for the first time?

• When have you had a completely wrong first impression of someone, and what changed your mind?

• Can you think of situations when people had a wrong first impression of you? What did you do to give an accurate impression of yourself?

• What could you do so that first impressions allow you to see people for who they really are, rather than who you think they are?

14 • BFF Booklet

Remind girls that they can earn the

Peacemaker Award at the end of

BFF by reviewing the items they

collected, and making a commitment

to using them throughout their lives. If

you haven’t explained all three leadership

awards to them yet, now would be a good time.

Look on page 7 of this booklet for details.

OPENING CEREMONY

* SAY: “Quality friendship doesn’t mean having a ton of friends on Facebook. It takes skills to be a good friend and inspire trust and loyalty in another person.”

v DO: Invite girls to think about a good friend they have and identify the steps that friend took to form their friendship. For example, did she:

Make the first move by finding out your name?

Say a friendly “hi” whenever you ran into each other?

Find a subject you were both interested in to talk about?

Genuinely listen to what you had to say?

Act like herself and not act “fake”?

? ASK: Do you have friends in your life who like to do what you like to do?

Do you have friends who share your values?

Are your friends trustworthy? Would you confide in them?

What are two things you think make a friendship last? (Sample answers could be: trust, being available for your friend.)

Navigating Friendships

Session 2:

ACTIVITY

Create a Peacemaker Kit

* SAY: “Today we’re going to decorate our Peacemaker Kit containers. In each session, you’ll put something in it. It might be a piece of paper with a quote or poem, a drawing, an image from a magazine, a paper flower—anything that reminds you of the friendship skills you’re learning.”


? ASK: Do you want a symbol of your commitment to BFF and peace?

Something you might hang on a wall somewhere in school?

v DO: Invite girls to come up with their own ideas or offer the following, if they are stuck:

Sew anti-bullying messages on fabric squares, then sew them into a quilt to add to their Peacemaker Kits.

Create a collage using messages on recycled paper bags.

Ask school officials if they can create a mural around the symbol to hang prominently at the school.


ACTIVITY

Stereotypes and You

* SAY: “Today we’re looking at how stereotypes can negatively influence first impressions, which is an important part of making friends.”

v DO: The activity on page 43 of your Adult Guide.


? ASK: Was there a time you were especially proud to be identified with one of the characteristics you listed?

Was there a time when you were embarrassed, afraid, or felt hurt to be identified with one of the characteristics, impressions, or stereotypes others had of you?

What examples of stereotypes do you see on television and in the media? What effects do these stereotypes have on girls your age?

END THE SESSION BY SAYING:

“By the end of BFF, you can earn an Interact Award by

doing three of the nine challenges on pages 12–15 of

your girl book. These challenges include reaching out

to an old friend, or to someone (at school or place of

worship) you don’t usually talk with much—which is what

BFF is all about! Does anyone want to do an Interact Challenge

between now and the next time we gather and report back?

This skill is something you can add to your Peacemaker Kits!”

For this session, look at “Materials” on page 39 for what you need to bring for the Peacemaker Kit.

WHAT YOU’LL DO

� Opening Ceremony� Activity 1: Create a Peacemaker Kit� Activity 2: Stereotypes and You� My Kind of Friend (optional)

» HAVE MORE TIME?

My Kind of Friend

* SAY: “We all know what we look

for in a friend, but sometimes

what we think we want and what

we actually seek out are two very

different things.”

v DO: Have girls complete the

“My Kind of Friend…What

Really Matters” checklist on

page 31 of their girl book. Then,

add a bully-prevention focus

by listing the checklist’s qualities

on a white board. Ask girls to

place their ranking next to

each. When they’re done, add

up the rankings to see how the

group measured each quality.

ADD A BULLY-PREVENTION

FOCUS!

? ASK: What was the quality

most important to the group?

The least?

Did any of the group’s rankings

surprise you?

How different were the group

results from your individual

checklist?

How do you think a bully would

rank these things?

What do you think a bully looks

for when making friends?

3 9

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go.Some people stay a while, leave footprints

in our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”

SAMPLE SESSION 2

Navigating Friendships

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• Stereotypes and You• Circle of Friends• Talk Show: Ask the Expert• For Peacemaker Kits

• Opening Ceremony• Peacemaker Kits• How Do You Know?

Goal: Girls understand how stereotypes impact relationships and identify the personal qualities they seek in, and bring to, healthy friendships.

AT A GLANCE

ADVANCE PREP

Peacemaker Kits

At the start of this session, girls will create their Peacemaker Kits, which they will

use to collect tips and tools they can use to create peace—one interaction at a

time—in their lives and in the world around them. The kits also serve as a special

memory of the journey. Think of them as scrapbooks in which each girl saves the

ideas she finds most meaningful as she winds her way through the passageways

of aMAZE.

Advance Prep by Cadettes

If you have girl volunteers for this session, they might want to:

• Lead the Circle of Friends activity and discussion (page 44)

• Prepare and play a role in “Ask the Expert” (page 45)

• Odds and ends for decorating the

containers (beads, buttons, stickers,

wrapping paper) and glue

• Paper (two sheets for each girl) and pens

• An assortment of small empty containers

(tins from mints, jewelry-size boxes, even

small take-out food containers) for those

girls who might not bring their own

MATERIALS

—Flavia Weedn

© Flavia’s Legacy, LLC, used with special permission from The Flavia Company, Inc./Flavia’s Legacy, LLC.

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Stereotypes and YouInvite the girls to do the “Break Down Those Stereotypes!” activity on page 23 of

their books, on their own or in pairs. This engages girls directly in thinking about

stereotypes that are hurtful to them.

Then ask the girls to move around (as pairs or individuals) and trade their stories

of how a stereotype had impacted them. (If the group is small, you could do this

as one team discussion.)

After the girls have had a chance to share their perspectives on stereotypes, start

a team discussion about any insights they have gained. Conversation prompts

could include:

• How does it feel to hear about how stereotypes have hurt you?

• How do these stereotypes get carried forward and passed on?

• What are some examples of things you might change and ask other people to change to stop some of the stereotyping you have heard about from each other?

• Have you ever closed the door on a friendship because of stereotypes? What could you do instead, next time?

How Do You Know?This exercise continues the topic begun at the first session (with the “What

Lies Beneath” exercise), going deeper by asking girls to explore how stereotypes

negatively influence first impressions and relationships.

Begin with a short discussion about what a stereotype is. You could, for example,

ask a few questions like:

• What does it mean to “stereotype” other people?

• How do stereotypes influence who we choose to interact with and how we interact with them?

Depending on the girls’ responses, you can offer a few basic points about

stereotyping (based on what they have on page 22 of their book) to make sure

all girls are thinking and talking from a similar starting point.

Continue the discussion by inviting girls to identify examples of stereotypes that

are used in portraying a character on a TV show they enjoy. (Or they might think

of a movie or cartoon or even a music video.)

Ask girls to talk about who is hurt by the stereotype. Do they think it is wrong for

the show to use it?

Wrap up this part of the discussion by reminding girls that their conversation

relates to one of the Interact Challenges they can choose to earn the Interact

Award (see page 12–15 of the girls’ book). Are they interested in taking this

challenge? Do any of the examples from their conversation trouble them enough

to boycott the show for a week or two—or forever? Would they mention it to other

friends, too?

dresses funny

So friendly

ears stick outbig smiletalks too muchwaaay popular

Too much eyelinerSUPER JOCK loud and pushy

16 • BFF Booklet

TEAM AGREEMENT CHECK-IN

Check in to see that girls are feeling good

about how the group is working together. Are the

girls comfortable talking and sharing with one

another? Do they want to change or add to their

Team Agreement?

* SAY:“Let’s revisit what our team agreement says: Conversations are confidential. It stays among us. We won’t allow blaming. We care about one another.”

? ASK: Is there anything you want to change or add?

OPENING CEREMONY

* SAY: “Does anyone know what it’s called when a group of people excludes others? It’s called a clique.”

? ASK: When is the last time someone new came into your circle of friends?

Have you ever been part of a group that wants you to hang out with only them?

Do you ever feel the need to do something you don’t feel right about in order to remain in your group?

What’s the opposite of a clique?

What is your definition of a clique?

Has it changed from the beginning of this discussion?

Cliques and Conflicts

Session 3:

ACTIVITY

Where Do You Stand?

v DO: The activity on pages 52–53. This activity gives girls a chance to take a stance on peer pressure, clarifying their own values in the process. Remind girls that peer pressure is a form of bullying or relational aggression.


? ASK: Which scenarios really made an impression on you?

How does this activity help you think about bully behavior?

When thinking about whether something was or wasn’t okay for you, did you realize that you had behaved this way in the past?

Does understanding bully behavior help you become a better witness and protector?

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Where Do You Stand?This activity gives girls a chance to take a stance on peer pressure, clarifying their own

values in the process. Start by inviting girls to think about times when they have been

pressured or perhaps pressured others to do things that go against their values. You can

use some of these points to begin:

• We all have experiences that test our values. Do we ever trade in what we believe just so we can belong? How do we feel after doing that?

• We also have times that we pressure others. Why? Can that sometimes be “for their own good?” (Pressure can sometimes be for good. Can you give examples?)

• Sometimes the pressure to do something you don’t want to do can be silent. Can you think of examples of silent pressure?

• Have you ever accomplished something you didn’t think you’d be able to do, but were able to because of someone else’s influence?

Transition from the discussion by saying something like:

We are going to do an activity to push one another to explore what it feels like to stand

up for our values. We really have to trust one another and uphold our team agreement

for this to be meaningful. Ready?

Then, with masking tape, mark a line down the center of the room. On one end, put a piece of

paper on the floor with the number 10. On the other end, put a 1. In the middle, mark a 5.

Tell the girls that you (or girl volunteers) are going to read aloud a scenario and if

they think it’s OK, they go to number 10. If they feel it’s not OK, they go to number 1.

If they’re “on the fence,” they go to number 5.

After each scenario is read and each girl takes her stance on the line, invite each to talk

about why she stood where she did. Do any girls want to try to persuade others to stand

somewhere else? Why or why not? When the girls have exhausted what they have to say,

read another scenario. Some scenarios may invite more conversation than others, and

you may work through a handful fairly quickly as girls become more engaged.

You might prompt the girls’ conversation by asking:

What are you really saying if you go to the middle, on number 5? Are you worried about

taking a stand? What are your worries? Trying to please everyone? What would help you

make a decision?

If you are standing near “1,” do you think there are things people could say or do that

would make you inch your way down the line? What? How would you answer?

If you are standing near “10,” do you think there are times someone could persuade you

down the line? How?

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Scenarios

There are more scenarios here than you’ll need. Use those most appropriate for

your group of Cadettes. If other issues have come up among the girls, add them.

Or, pause for a few minutes and invite the girls to offer up some of their own—

after doing some of these:

As the activity ends, invite girls to discuss what they just experienced, with

questions such as:

• Which scenarios really made an impression on you? Explain.

• How does this activity help you think about the effects of peer pressure and how you use your values to make decisions?

• How do you want others to view your response to peer pressure?

• Does standing up for a value make you feel like a leader? Why or why not?

It’s good to tell a friend she should study harder and try to get better grades.

It’s OK to attend a party at your best friend’s house even if her parents aren’t there the entire night.

If your friend really wants you to attend her piano recital because she needs a confidence boost, you should go—even though it sounds like a lot of clanging to you.

Smoking with some friends isn’t a problem, since it’s not something you do all the time.

If you’re jealous of someone, it’s OK to be mean to her, as long as you aren’t physically violent.

You can watch a movie at a friend’s house (or elsewhere) that your parents would never let you watch at home.

Sometimes you have to skip the fun to get some homework done.

It’s important to act like you have more money than you really have.

I’d cancel plans with my friend if my crush asked me out at the last minute.

If a friend is really hurting herself through behavior that you find scary, you should keep it a secret, no matter what.

It’s OK to tell your parents the party is “girls-only,” even though there will be boys and you hope to meet up with a special one there.

You can say crazy, risky, untrue things about yourself online. It doesn’t really matter.

Sometimes it’s OK to make critical comments or put others down in the presence of certain friends.

Sometimes you just have to stop hanging out with some girls because others don’t think they’re cool.

It’s cool to disrespect your parents in front of friends.

It’s good for your image to drink some alcohol at parties even though you don’t want to.

You need to try out for a team sport or cheerleading, because everyone does.


ACTIVITY

"I-Statements": The Key to Resolving Conflicts

* SAY: “Conflicts are potential relationship obstacle. I-statements can be helpful when it comes to resolving conflicts, especially when you are faced with bully behavior.”

v DO: Share this general formula with girls about how to make an “I-Statement”: When you (describe a specific action that hurts you) I feel (say your feeling) because (why the action connects to your feeling).

Then have girls do the scenario role-play activity on pages 66–67 of their girl book.


v DO: Have girls use an I-Statement to respond to these scenarios:

When you’re alone together your friend is nice, but when you’re with a group, she becomes bossy and dismissive of you.

One of your soccer teammates always teases you in front of the team and says you’re weak for not being able to take a joke.

A classmate passed a rumor that you cheated on a test.

A group of your friends refuses to invite your cousin to a party because she’s not popular.

WHAT YOU’LL DO

� Opening Ceremony� Activity 1: Where Do You Stand?� Activity 2: “I-Statements”: The Key to

Resolving Conflicts� Team Agreement Check-In (optional)� Price of Belonging (optional)

» HAVE MORE TIME?

Price of Belonging

* SAY: “Everyone wants that

powerful feeling of belonging.

Being connected to others

confirms that we matter. And

that’s a human need! Sometimes

we want that belonging so

badly that we think it won’t

matter if we trade our values for

popularity. For example: lying

to your parents about where you

went after school or posting an

unattractive picture of the new

girl online becomes someone dared

you to. But small trade-offs add

up, chipping away at our sense of

who you are and what is right.

When those things become blurry,

you may find yourself caving in to

peer pressure more and more.”

? ASK: Can you share about a time

you wanted to belong to a group?

Have you ever traded off any

values to belong to a group?

If so, which ones?

What do you think contributes to

giving in to pressure to belong?

(Answer: lack of self-confidence)

What does being self-confident

mean to you?

What common values do we share

as a BFF group?

18 • BFF Booklet

OPENING CEREMONY

v DO: Write on a white board: Bullying Can Be .

Have girls think about all the ways bullying can happen. It might be physical, verbal, or online. Ask them to imagine situations and places where bully behavior happens.

Invite girls to write down answers on the white board.

* SAY: “Let’s take a look at all things bullying can be. Physical: hitting, kicking, damaging property Verbal: threats, teasing, taunting, name- calling, offensive remarks Indirect: gossip, spreading negative rumors or stories about someone, lying, excluding people from social groups Virtual: sending negative messages, texts, or pictures via email, instant messages, cell phones, or websites”

? ASK: Can you think of a time when you’ve witnessed any one of these bully behaviors?

Which one do you think is most prevalent in your world?

Some people define bullying as an imbalance of power. How would you define it?

v DO: Continue the discussion by engaging girls in a discussion about why people bully. Answers might include:

Because others do it.

Because it’s what you have to do if you want to hang out in certain crowds.

Because it makes them feel stronger, smarter, or better than the person being bullied.

ACTIVITY

Flip the Script

* SAY: “There are many ways you might respond to a bully. For instance, you might try to reason with her, act like to doesn’t affect you, cry, or yell back. Let’s find out how people respond to bullies and what might be most effective.”


v DO: Activity on pages 62–63: Flip the Script (instructions begin on page 63, scenarios are on page 62).

After girls have finished acting out…

SCENARIO 1: RESPONDING DEFENSIVELY:

? ASK: What do you notice about this conversation? (Answer: That it can go on and on this way with Sophie protesting against the rumor.)

Can Nicole continue to needle Sophie? (Answer: yes!)

Who holds the power? (Answer: Nicole)

AFTER SCENARIO 2: RESPONSE TO DISARM A BULLY:

? ASK: What do you think happened in this scenario? (Answer: There is nothing else Nicole can say because Sophie hasn’t given any indication that it upsets her.)

AFTER SCENARIO 3: ALTERNATE RESPONSE TO DISARM A BULLY:

? ASK: What happened in this scenario? (Answer: Again, Nicole is stuck. Sophie is basically saying, “Are you that gullible?” This makes Nicole’s “yes” answer seem ridiculous, which turns the power dynamic in the conversation back to Sophie.)

Caution: Bullies Straight Ahead

Session 4:

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Flip the ScriptInvite girls to break into teams of three and assign each team one of the bullying

scenarios on pages 85–87 of their book.

Share with the girls this powerful statistic from the Anti-Bullying Alliance:

“Witnesses play a very important role in bullying situations. Bullying will stop

in less than 10 seconds nearly 60 percent of the time when peers intervene!”

Witnesses (those who observe or are present during bullying) are in a very

important position because they can positively or negatively affect the situation.

The person who gets bullied is referred to as “target” and not as “victim,”

because “victim” is disempowering. Also, “target” depersonalizes the bullying.

Explain the activity:

• Decide who will be the bully, witness, and target.

• Use the ideas we have been discussing related to witnesses and taking back the power to “flip the script” so that the bully does not get away with her behavior.

• Try to do your “performance” in the way you think it could work in real life.

• Even though this is serious stuff, you can still get dramatic and have some fun acting it out!

Once the teams have had a chance to figure out and practice “flipping the

script,” invite them to take turns performing for each other. As each performance

ends, invite the “audience” members to offer other suggestions about how they

might navigate the situation.

When every team has “flipped the script,” wrap up with a team discussion, using

questions such as:

• How can bullies become a roadblock in the maze of life? What can you do to get around this roadblock?

• How can you “rewind the scene” to prevent relationship meltdowns when you’re facing a real-life situation where bullying is taking place?

• How does bullying behavior impact team work? How could you shift bullying behavior on a team so that everyone can work together successfully?

BULLYING: SEE

IT ON FILM

The Girl Scout

documentary “Sister to

Sister: The Darker Side

of Friendship” shows

how girls use relational

aggression in and out of

school, and even online,

against a new girl who

wants to become part

of their group. Gossip,

rumors, and exclusion,

as well as verbal and

emotional bullying are

seen in the documentary.

Girls also talk candidly

about friendships and

the issues that arise

when relationships with

boys enter the picture.

A series of scenes also

compare some of the

girls’ behaviors with

the values of the

Girl Scout Law.

You might show the

documentary, ask girls

do a “scene rewind”

with some of the

scenarios, and then have

a discussion using the

points provided above.

Contact your Girl Scout

council for the best way

to view the documentary.

Offer up these examples:

Responding defensively against a bully:Nicole: I heard you have a crush on the boys’ gym teacher, Mr. Davis, and that you bring him lunch everyday.

Sophie: That’s not true!

Nicole: That’s what everyone is saying though.

Sophie: They’re all big liars! Tell me who started it!

Nicole: I don’t know who started it. But everyone knows it’s true.

Sophie: It is not true! And you better stop saying it!

Notice how this conversation can go on and on with Sophie protesting against

the rumor. Nicole can continue to needle Sophie, and so, holds the power.

Response to disarm a bully:Nicole: I heard you have a crush on the boys’ gym teacher, Mr. Davis, and that you bring him lunch every day.

Sophie: Do you believe it?

Nicole: No.

Sophie: Good.

Notice there is nothing else Nicole can say about the rumor because Sophie

hasn’t given any indication that it upsets her.

Alternate response to disarm a bully:Nicole: I heard you have a crush on the boys’ gym teacher, Mr. Davis, and that you bring him lunch every day.

Sophie: Do you believe it?

Nicole: Yes.

Sophie: You can believe it if you like.

Again Nicole is stuck. Sophie is basically asking, “Are you really that gullible?”

This makes Nicole’s “yes” answer seem ridiculous, which turns the power

dynamic in the conversation back to Sophie.


ACTIVITY

Surfing Through Cyber Relationships

* SAY: “Did you know that…

• 68 percent of girls have had a negative experience on a social networking site, such as having someone gossip about them or being bullied.

• Almost half (46 percent) think that social networking creates jealousy among friends.

• 40 percent admit to losing respect for a friend because of something she/he posted on a social network.”

v DO: Activity on page 64.


? ASK: What are some ways you can promote better friendships online? (Example: not passing on false rumors or saying something negative about anyone)

WHAT YOU’LL DO

� Opening Ceremony� Activity 1: Flip the Script� Activity 2: Surfing Through

Cyber Relationships� Bully Bystanders (optional)

Find out if the girls have been doing the Interact

Challenges and want to talk about it. Do they have

results to share? Or anything they want to add to

the Peacemaker Kits?

» HAVE MORE TIME?

Bully Bystanders

* SAY: “Being a friend first can

mean being an active witness to a

bully situation. Ever see a friend

of yours being teased or picked

on? The natural feeling is to do

nothing at all because you don’t

want to become the target, right?

But the fact is that witnesses

have power! Did you know that

bullying will likely stop in less

than 10 seconds nearly 60 percent

of the time when someone—

a witness!—steps in or speaks up?”

v DO: Have girls read

out loud “Types

of Witnesses” on

page 84 of their

girl book.

? ASK: What type of witness do

you think more people should be?

Which type of witness were you

the last time you were in the

presence of bully behavior?

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Surfing Through Cyber RelationshipsTransition into a discussion about life online by asking (or welcoming a girl to

ask) questions like:

• What’s the weirdest IM or text you ever got?

• What’s the funniest mass e-mail you ever saw?

• Which do you like the most: IMing, texting, or e-mailing? Why?

• If you could visit only one Web site for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

• What’s your favorite thing to do online?

Ask girls to share all of the topics they’ve learned about throughout the aMAZE

journey. Ask for a volunteer to write these on a piece of paper the group can

look at. Here are the main topics (other may have come up in your group):

• Strengthening friendships

• First impressions and stereotypes

• Peer pressure

Now ask girls to imagine that all of these relationship topics are taking place in

online chat rooms or forums, or through e-mail, IMing, texting, etc.

Divide girls into small teams of two or three. Give each team a sheet of paper

and ask them to choose one topic and brainstorm how it “looks, feels, and

sounds” online. Here are a few examples:

• Cliques may “look” like: girls IMing or texting some girls but excluding others from their conversations or plans.

• Bullying may “sound” like: posting a fake Facebook profile or writing mean comments to discussion forums on different sites.

• Peer pressure may “feel” like: a girl has to post certain things on her Web page or write e-mails that don’t reflect her true opinions.

Then ask the small teams to show and discuss what they wrote. To guide the

discussion, ask questions such as:

• How are relationships or challenging situations different when they occur online? What are some examples of positive and negative risks people are willing to take when they’re online?

• How do predators, or even peers, lead you into the virtual maze until you reveal more about yourself than you would in a face-to-face interaction? What can you do to prevent this from happening?

• E-mailing, IMing, and texting are instantaneous and can feel anonymous. Have you ever written or received hurtful messages or ones that you or others might not say in person? Why does it seem OK online? How does it make you feel?

• Do you have friendships that take place mostly online? What “friendship rules” apply to those?

• What can you do to promote safety—your own and that of others—online?

The Girl Scout Law Meets the Virtual WorldThis activity engages girls in assessing how they interact online. Introduce it by

saying something like:

The Girl Scout Law provides a vision and a set of values related to how we ideally

want to act in the world. Let’s take a look at how you can use the Law as a way to

assess some of your online interactions.

Hang up several sheets of newsprint and pass out markers to a few volunteers.

Ask girls to look at the Law on the inside front cover of their book and write

one or two lines of it at the top of each sheet of newsprint. Then open it up to

a free-for-all.

• The girls can use sticky notes to write an IM or any online message that somehow relates to the Girl Scout Law—positive or negative. All entries should be anonymous.

• Play some music while the girls write and put up their examples. This should be fun but not silly in an off-the-track way.

Ideally, this should result in a visible scene of how broadly the elements of the

Law can reach. Here are a few examples:

For honest: “I’m just telling you what she said.” For uses resources wisely:

“I totally need that pair of shoes in brown, purple, black, AND pink!”

Finish by asking a few questions, such as:

• Is it hard to stay committed to the Girl Scout Law? Why?

• Why does online communication make it easy to forget the Girl Scout Law? (Is it the fact that you can be anonymous?)

• How can you use the Law to “increase the peace” in your world?

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• Cliques

• Conflicts

• “I-Statements”

TOWARD

PEACE

Before the session

ends, give girls

time (and scraps of

paper!) to add to their

Peacemaker Kits.

Encourage them to

consider what they

can do about bullying

behavior—in their real

and virtual worlds—to

increase the peace.

What have they learned

that would make a

difference?

LOOKING

AHEAD TO

SESSION 5

Invite the girls to think

about any topics or

exercises they would

like to explore further

at the start of the next

session—before they

delve into their Take

Action Project. (See

page 66, “Heading

Out of the Maze.”)

84

passive sees the bullying but avoids the situation

fearful afraid to help because the bully might turn on her

watcher watches and maybe enjoys it, happy not to be the target

accomplice laughs at the bully’s abuse and becomes an appreciative audience

defender challenges the bully or supports the victim

Types of Witnesses

Witnesses are usually the most powerful people in a bullying situation. Statistics show that when a peer witness intervenes, bullying will stop in less than 10 seconds nearly 60 percent of the time. Witnesses have the power to prevent bullying from escalating, and to help stop it when it’s happening.

What kind of a witness are you? Take a look at the definitions below. Then think about whether your behavior empowers you to stop bullying. If it does, what strategies have you used successfully in these situations? If it doesn’t, what can you do to play a more active role in ending bullying?

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. — Voltaire

WITNESS, PLEASE!

20 • BFF Booklet

OPENING CEREMONY

v DO: Read aloud the Maya Angelou quote on page 72 of your Adult Guide.

ADD A BULLY-PREVENTION

FOCUS!

? ASK: How does this quote relate to what we are learning about being a friend first?

Is it easier to forget when someone has made us feel good, or when someone has made us feel bad? Why?

ACTIVITY

Taking Action on Bully Prevention

* SAY: “In this session, you’ll begin to plan your Take Action project by thinking about issues associated with bully prevention and being a friend first.”

v DO: Activities on pages 72–73: “How Do Relationship Skills Impact the World?” “Who Is a Real Leader?” and “Taking Action on Relationships.” Create a chart.


? ASK: Which issues on your chart relate to BFF (Be a Friend First) or bully prevention?

Are there ways you can add even more of a bully-prevention focus to your issues?

Which of the BFF bully-prevention issues are you most passionate about?

Let Peace Begin with You

Session 5:

TIPS FOR TAKING ACTION

Coach girls to create meaningful action to impact a change—within

the time they have. Meaningful does not mean long and complex, but

encourage girls to look at solutions for bully-prevention issues they

care about.

See Activity 1 above and page 69 of your aMAZE! Adult Guide for some

Take Action ideas suited for BFF.

Do not plan the project for girls. Instead, use these ideas to help ask

thoughtful questions, provide inspiration, and keep the girls on track.

Remind girls that their Take Action project will help them earn a

Diplomat Award.

Help girls focus on what is feasible and attainable, while being their

biggest cheerleader!

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Then, ask if anyone knows the Girl Scout definition of leadership? Refer girls

to page 10 of their book for the “Discover, Connect, Take Action” definition of

leadership. Ask them to consider how the Girl Scout definition compares to the

definition they just came up with on their own. (Hint: If girls get stuck, coach

them to look past “word” differences to the deeper meaning. Does leadership

have something to do with who you are, how you interact with others, and how

you act in the world?)

Ask girls to take a quiet few minutes to think about the qualities, skills, and

accomplishments that define them personally as leaders.

Taking Action on RelationshipsInvite the girls to share what they have just written with the larger group or in

small groups.

Then, say something like: You have the chance to demonstrate your leadership

through a Take Action Project that will enable you to advance peace in the world.

With girls sitting comfortably, hang a big piece of paper on the wall. Invite a

volunteer to capture the group’s ideas. It might be helpful to set up a chart

like the one below to guide the brainstorm:

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Opening CeremonyInvite girls to conduct an opening ceremony of their choice. If they can’t think of

one, suggest they each share briefly, around the circle, what comes to mind when

they hear this quote:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

—Maya Angelou

How Do Relationship Skills Impact the World?Open the discussion by making these points (as always, feel free to use your

own words):

• We’ve been concentrating on building our own relationship skills—to give us more confidence going through the maze of our own lives.

• Today we are going to open our mazes out wider and think about relationships in the whole world around us.

• Can you think of examples or stories (from history or the present) about people who use their relationship skills to improve the world? Who? How?

• If girls are stuck, remind them they have a few examples in their books.

• Can you think of examples or stories about how “bad relationship skills” (like bullying behavior or unresolved conflicts) have contributed to problems in the world?

Who Is a Real Leader?Ask the girls to form small groups and make three lists showing a leader’s top

three personal qualities, skills, and accomplishments.

Then ask all the groups to come together so each small group can share its

lists. What do the lists have in common? How do they differ? Ask the full

group to create a “master” team definition of a leader’s qualities, skills, and

accomplishments.

ISSUE AREA POSSIBLE SOLUTION 1 POSSIBLE SOLUTION 2

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Then, ask if anyone knows the Girl Scout definition of leadership? Refer girls

to page 10 of their book for the “Discover, Connect, Take Action” definition of

leadership. Ask them to consider how the Girl Scout definition compares to the

definition they just came up with on their own. (Hint: If girls get stuck, coach

them to look past “word” differences to the deeper meaning. Does leadership

have something to do with who you are, how you interact with others, and how

you act in the world?)

Ask girls to take a quiet few minutes to think about the qualities, skills, and

accomplishments that define them personally as leaders.

Taking Action on RelationshipsInvite the girls to share what they have just written with the larger group or in

small groups.

Then, say something like: You have the chance to demonstrate your leadership

through a Take Action Project that will enable you to advance peace in the world.

With girls sitting comfortably, hang a big piece of paper on the wall. Invite a

volunteer to capture the group’s ideas. It might be helpful to set up a chart

like the one below to guide the brainstorm:

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Opening CeremonyInvite girls to conduct an opening ceremony of their choice. If they can’t think of

one, suggest they each share briefly, around the circle, what comes to mind when

they hear this quote:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

—Maya Angelou

How Do Relationship Skills Impact the World?Open the discussion by making these points (as always, feel free to use your

own words):

• We’ve been concentrating on building our own relationship skills—to give us more confidence going through the maze of our own lives.

• Today we are going to open our mazes out wider and think about relationships in the whole world around us.

• Can you think of examples or stories (from history or the present) about people who use their relationship skills to improve the world? Who? How?

• If girls are stuck, remind them they have a few examples in their books.

• Can you think of examples or stories about how “bad relationship skills” (like bullying behavior or unresolved conflicts) have contributed to problems in the world?

Who Is a Real Leader?Ask the girls to form small groups and make three lists showing a leader’s top

three personal qualities, skills, and accomplishments.

Then ask all the groups to come together so each small group can share its

lists. What do the lists have in common? How do they differ? Ask the full

group to create a “master” team definition of a leader’s qualities, skills, and

accomplishments.

ISSUE AREA POSSIBLE SOLUTION 1 POSSIBLE SOLUTION 2


Let girls know that by doing a Take Action Project, they’ll

be able to earn the Diplomat Award! Tell them to look at

page 114 of their girl book for more information. You can

find out more about the Diplomat Award on page 9 of

your Adult Guide and on page 7 of this BFF booklet.

WHAT YOU’LL DO

� Opening Ceremony� Activity 1: Taking Action on

Bully Prevention� Activity 2: Reaching a Decision

ACTIVITY

Reaching a Decision

* SAY: “Now that you’ve brainstormed your list of issue ideas, it’s time to reach a decision about which one might make a good Take Action project.”

v DO: Invite girls to decide on an issue that means most to them. Remember that girls will make the decision, but guide them by having them think through the scale and scope of their projects, and to make a realistic decision based on their time and resources. Look at the “Taking Action on Bully Prevention” and “Tips for Taking Action” boxes on opposite page for project ideas.

? ASK: Now that you have your issue, what can you do that will make a difference in the world around you? (For example, for cyberbullying, their solution possibilities might include: teaching their peers about safe social networking or creating a cyberbullying awareness campaign). What kind of Take Action project can you do with your issue?

Girls could come to a decision about a Take Action project by the end of this session, but if they need more time, suggest they talk in between sessions or pick up the discussion at the next session.

22 • BFF Booklet

OPENING CEREMONY

* SAY: “Has anyone had any thoughts about the Take Action project you chose?” They might want to revisit the discussion they had the previous session and maybe even change their project. Your role here is to continue to guide them as you did before to come to a decision.

v DO: Girls may have tons of ideas about how they want to get their Take Action project started. If they’re bubbling over with ideas, ask one girl to capture the ideas on a board or in a notebook for the group.

ACTIVITY

Planning the Take Action Project

* SAY: “Now that you know what you want to do for your Take Action project, you can jump right in and start planning.”

v DO: Guide girls to the tips and tools on pages 122–128 of their girl book. These will help them figure out how to break down the steps they need to take: how long it will take, what kind of money they might need.

? ASK: Who is going to take on which role?

Where do you want to do your project? (Is it online? Somewhere at this or another school or a community center?)

How will you get the word out about what you’re doing? (Through an email blast or flyer?)

How much time do you have to complete your project?

Do you need to take time out of school or use time in school? If so, put a plan together of who and where.

Who will you thank? How will you thank them?

Improving Relationships in the World

Session 6:


ACTIVITY

Creating or Doing

v DO: Activity on page 77.

? ASK: Is your message tailored for your audience? For example, is your poster being developed for girls or adults?

How would your message differ from one you might create for parents?

WHAT YOU’LL DO

TIP If girls are suggesting things that you know

will take too much time or cost money you don’t

have, refer to this booklet for help:

“Taking Action on Bully Prevention” on page 20

“You May Be Wondering: What if a Take Action

Project Costs Money?” on page 10

� Opening Ceremony� Activity 1: Planning the Take Action Project� Activity 2: Creating or Doing� Has This Ever Happened to You?

(optional)

» HAVE MORE TIME?

Has This Ever Happened to You?

* SAY: “Have you ever felt hurt by

something someone says, only to

have them follow up by saying,

‘Just joking!’ That is mean and a

form of bully behavior. Here are

ways to tell whether someone is

really joking, teasing, or bullying:

JOKING. Both of you are on the

same level and are comfortable,

laughing, or giggling together.

TEASING. Your friend treats

you as if you’re not on the same

level. You become uncomfortable

and wish the teasing would stop.

You are both laughing, but your

laughter may be forced. (Or you

may have treated a friend this

way.)

BULLYING. You are very

uncomfortable and desperately

wish she would stop. Laughter,

name-calling, and rude language

are directed at you. Maybe you

are also getting shoved or pushed,

or experiencing other physical

force. (Or maybe you are doing

the bullying.)”

? ASK: How do you know when

someone is really joking or is

instead teasing or even bullying?

Can you think of examples of

each of these three things?

“A journey is best measured in friends,rather than miles.”

—Tim Cahill, adventure travel writer

Creating or DoingDepending on the nature of the project girls are doing, they might use this session to create materials

(skits, posters, workshops) to share with others. Or they might be out “doing” (talking to school staff about

the best three ways to stop the bullying in the halls). Girls can continue following the ideas in their books

to develop their projects. If their project involves leading a workshop, they might find pages 124-126

especially useful.

The girls are probably now somewhere between Steps 4 and 6 toward earning their Diplomat Award. While

girls are bringing their project to life:

• Encourage them!

• Ask questions to guide them to think about sustainability: What might they add to their efforts to encourage people to “pass forward” what they learn as a result of the girls’ workshop or campaign? Can a school, youth center, or other organization continue some aspect of the project after girls finish? Perhaps make it an annual or quarterly event?

• Remind girls that they might use some of their aMAZE activities or discussions as part of their projects. How would they adjust them for other audiences?

• Take time for girls to reflect once again about how they’re functioning as a team and what they are learning that they can add to their Peacemaker Kits.

• Assist girls as they organize some of the practical aspects of their projects by calling on the Family and Friends Network for extra support. Who can drive? Who can pick up posters? Who can help the girls polish their script?

Creating or Doing (a Take Action Project to increase the peace)

Goal: Girls continue to connect with each other, practicing relationship skills individually and as team members, as they begin to carry out their Take Action Project.

AT A GLANCE

SAMPLE SESSION 6

Improving Relationships in the World

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24 • BFF Booklet

Toward Peace: Take Action!

Session 7:

OPENING CEREMONY

v DO: Invite girls to sit in a circle and share one thing surprising or memorable about BFF that they learned. Then give girls their BFF bracelet or tie a blue ribbon around their wrists.

* SAY: “Whenever you wear this [bracelet or blue ribbon], you let other girls know you stand for Be a Friend First. During various wars, women and men in the United States have worn flag pins to demonstrate their patriotism. People wear pink ribbons to symbolize their support for people with breast cancer. What will this mean to our group? Could other girls look to you for support and advice, or to stand up for them against bully behavior?

Wear it when you want your BFF sisters to know you’re there for them.”

? ASK: What would you think if you saw someone wearing a [bracelet or blue ribbon]?

What if other girls knew that you had done BFF because you were wearing it?

How do you think they’d react? What would they think of you?

Would it be important to you to continue wearing the [bracelet or blue ribbon] after BFF is over? Why or why not?

TIP Ask your designated council contact if

there is a special giveaway for BFF, like a

BFF bracelet. If not, don’t worry. A blue ribbon

tied around the girls’ wrists is a powerful

symbol of Be a Friend First! Let girls know

that the color blue is often associated with

trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence,

faith, and truth.

ACTIVITY

Wrapping Up the Take Action Project

v DO: If girls have finished their project, kick off a discussion about what girls learned and accomplished, using the questions on page 80 of your Adult Guide. If girls have not yet completed their project…

? ASK: What changes do you hope will happen because of what you think you’re going to do?

How do you hope your project will be passed forward?

How did you work together as a team?

Have you gotten any ideas about Take Action projects you’d want to do in the future?

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Closing Ceremony: Going for GoalsAsk the girls to form small teams of three to four so they will be able to talk





like:

• Today we’ve been exploring how, when solving a maze, you rely on certain strategies or techniques. The same is true when you’re striving toward a goal in life. Your goal is much like the end point you’re trying to reach when you navigate a maze.

Then:

• Ask the girls to brainstorm the relationship issues that most affect them, whether it’s standing up to a bully, getting out of a negative clique, improving a friendship, making more friends, or something else entirely.

• Each girl then chooses which issue (or two) she wants to solve for herself, and writes it (or them) on her sheet of paper. She then puts the paper in an envelope that she addresses to herself.

• Collect the sealed envelopes and let girls know you’ll return them at the end of the journey, so they can reflect on how they progressed toward their goal. Let them know the reflection will be just for them—unless they choose to share.

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LARGE GROUP?


has more than 10-12


them into smaller


own ball. That way,


chance to answer a

question.

FOR THE NEXT SESSIONAsk girls to bring to the next session a small, empty box or other container and some odds and ends for decorating it (wrapping paper, ribbon, beads, glue). Encourage them to bring items to share, too. If everyone brings a little something different, the decorating will be that much more interesting.



• Lead a brainstorm about friendship qualities (pages 31–32 in the girls’ book)


Beneath the SurfaceThis team activity, featured on page 20 of the girls’ book, lets the Cadettes




• When the ball is passed to you, remove one piece of tape and answer the question underneath.





these questions:

• Have you ever thought you knew something about someone else but found out you were wrong? Explain.


• What happens when we act as if everyone is exactly the way we first perceived them? Talk about how this can include or exclude others.

• When you walk into a room and realize you don’t know anyone else there, what do you usually do to feel comfortable with others?


• How accurate do you think your first impressions are when meeting people for the first time?

• When have you had a completely wrong first impression of someone, and what changed your mind?

• Can you think of situations when people had a wrong first impression of you? What did you do to give an accurate impression of yourself?

• What could you do so that first impressions allow you to see people for who they really are, rather than who you think they are?

SHARE SUCCESS!

* SAY: “The GSUSA website offers two exciting ways you can share or pass forward your Take Action project or be involved in issues you care about:

Map It! This is an interactive map where you can post the story of your project. Go to http://forgirls .girlscouts.org/map-it-girls-changing-the-world.

Girl Scouts Speak Out!: You can create a public-service announcement that inspires someone to create change. Go to http://speakout .girlscouts.org.”


AWARDS REVIEW

v DO: Invite girls to look at the tools in their Peacemaker Kits and make a commitment to use them throughout their lives. By doing this, girls earn their Peacemaker Award!

? ASK: If all girls were involved in peaceful relationships, how would the world be different?

What were the most important tools in your Peacemaker Kit?

How will you commit to using those tools?

How will using these tools help you (and possibly others) Be a Friend First?

v DO: Make sure girls have decided on how they would like to receive the awards they earned in their next (and final) session. Remember: If girls completed their Take Action project, they earned the Diplomat Award! If girls completed the Interact Challenges, they earned the Interact Award!

* SAY: “You’ve earned leadership award(s), which you’ll receive in the next session. Earning awards is a tremendous accomplishment in Girl Scouting!”

WHAT YOU’LL DO

ACTIVITY

Planning for the Closing

Ceremony and Celebration



? ASK: How would you like to symbolize what you learned in BFF? Perhaps a commitment statement, poem, or song?

How will you take what you’ve learned in BFF to use today, tomorrow, and the near future?

� Opening Ceremony� Activity 1: Wrapping Up the

Take Action Project� Activity 2: Planning for the

Closing Ceremony and Celebration � Awards Review

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Planning for the Closing Ceremony and CelebrationAs the journey through aMAZE nears the end, engage girls in planning a special

closing ceremony and celebration. Depending on timing, perhaps they would

even like one gathering that is a formal ceremony for their accomplishments, and

another that is a team celebration. Either way, here are some ideas to consider:

• Ask girls whether they would like a formal closing ceremony that includes their Family and Friends Network or something just for the team. If they open up the ceremony beyond just the team, maybe some of the people who participated in or helped with the Cadette’s Take Action Project might be invited to attend.

• How would girls like to symbolize their “Toward Peace” commitments based on what they have collected in their kits?

• How would girls like to receive the awards they have earned? Do they want a chance to say some special affirmations to one another, acknowledging their efforts and talents they have put into earning the awards?

• How would girls like to honor their accomplishments together? Something fun—maybe a crazy obstacle course-like maze (jump rope, pop balloons, race around chairs) or something quieter—creating a new team poem together or reading through the poems and quotes in their books and talking together about what they mean?

You and the Cadettes might find it useful to flip ahead to Session 8 (here in

your guide) and check out some of the “mix and match” ideas provided for the

closing. What would make the closing of aMAZE a wonderful event for them?

And, for fun, girls have some ideas in their books, too. So remind them to check

page 133 and let you know if they want to incorporate some of these—or do

them instead of a more serious closing. Once you have found the way out of the

maze, there is no wrong way to exit!

Thinking About the Journey’s EndAs the Take Action Project unfolds and time permits, you might invite the

Cadettes to:

• Discuss the Interact Challenges. Have those who want to earn the award completed three? What have they learned? How are their efforts being “passed forward?” Girls might enjoy sharing stories about their efforts.

• Remind the girls about the personal goal(s) they wrote for themselves and gave to you when they began aMAZE. What insights have they gained that would be useful in accomplishing that goal? Do girls want to get some advice from each other toward accomplishing those goals?

Wrapping Up the Take Action ProjectIf girls are completing their project, engage the team in discussing what they

have learned and accomplished. If not, you can plan to do this as part of the

closing (or at a later date if the team has allotted more time for the project).

Here are some questions to guide the discussion:

• What impact do you think you had? How do you know?

• Are there any ways in which your project will be “passed forward”?

• What challenges did you face? How did you work around them as a team?

• Have you gotten some ideas about other Take Action projects you might want to do toward other Girl Scout Award projects in the future?

• What would you want to do differently on other projects?

• If girls want, they can capture some of their thoughts on page 130 of their book.

• Ask girls who they might need to thank for assisting with or participating in the Take Action Project. Would they like to write notes, send e-mail messages, or make calls?

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26 • BFF Booklet

HELP GSUSA TELL THE BFF STORY!

Consider sharing how BFF has impacted the

girls in your group by taking pictures of the girls’

Session 1 and Session 8 drawings with a mobile

device and send them to [email protected].

Let the girls know that you will be sharing the

pictures anonymously. Encourage them to go

online and see how other girls’ conceptualized

bullies and bullying, before and after their

BFF experiences.

OPENING CEREMONY

* SAY: “This is our time to celebrate! Bullying is a huge problem in our society, and you’ve done something, right here in your school and community, to make an important change! Think of the ripple effect that’s happening right now. Other middle school girls all across the country are part of this BFF experience, and together, you’re making a difference…not just for today, but for the future!”

ACTIVITY

Now Draw a Bully!

* SAY: “Think again about what a bully looks like. The idea is to see if your concept of bullies has changed from when we first met.”

v DO: Give girls blank paper and ask them to draw a bully again. When they’re done, pass out their bully drawings from Session 1.

? ASK: What are the differences between your drawings now than those you created during our first session? How so?

Do you see the idea of “bullies” differently now?

Do you think a bully might refer more to behavior than actual physical characteristics?

Do you think bullies look one way?

Can bullies be stereotyped too? How so?

Pass It Forward

Session 8:


ACTIVITY

Closing Ceremony



? ASK: What does it mean to be a friend first when you consider “friends” you haven’t even met yet? Friends from vastly different backgrounds and regions around the world?

How can you imagine yourself in the future using your BFF skills?

WHAT YOU’LL DO

HAVE AN AWARDS CEREMONY

If girls have earned any of the awards, now is the

time to give them out. If the girls haven’t decided

how they want to present awards, suggest that

they take turns presenting the awards to each

other. Ask each girl to say something special about

another’s contribution to the group and project.

� Opening Ceremony� Activity 1: Now Draw a Bully!� Activity 2: Closing Ceremony� Have an Awards Ceremony� Girl Scouting Continues!

» GIRL SCOUTING CONTINUES!

* SAY: “If you loved this experience, there are so many ways you can enjoy Girl Scouts! Remember, it’s not about troops and uniforms, it’s about how you can make a difference in the world. All these things you’ve done with BFF and your Take Action project? You can continue doing more like this for others. You might raise bully awareness for girls in another country. Or continue to meet with your BFF group to educate and inspire more people about this issue. Or perhaps there is another issue you’re passionate about? Girl Scouts is the place to make a difference about the things you care about. And now that you’ve earned awards, you might want to go further and earn a Silver Award and then a Gold Award! In BFF, you learned how to lead with friendship. Now continue to be the leader that you are!”

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Closing Ceremony: Commitment to Peace Invite each girl to choose one note that she has placed in her Peacemaker Kit

and share with the team why that is the most important thing she has gained on

the journey through aMAZE. How will she use it to “increase the peace” in her

life—and the world around her.

You might also guide the girls to a discussion of Mohandas K. Gandhi,

one of the world’s most influential peacemakers. Perhaps share this quote

from Annie, a Girl Scout Senior from North Carolina:

“The leader I admire most is Gandhi. Because he knew what his

goals were and he was able to lead people through peace and avoid

what everybody thought was inevitable, which was all this violence.

That was the ultimate leadership.”

Ask the girls how much they know of Gandhi and his views and actions.

Depending on their answers, you might explain that Gandhi believed

people should show forgiveness to one another and use positive actions

to make up for any less-than-positive acts they have committed. One of

Gandhi’s most quoted lines is: “You must be the change you wish to see in

the world.” Ask the girls to say one change they wish to see in the world.

As peacemakers, how will they be this change?

Next, ask all the girls to stand in a circle. Each, in turn, holds a meaningful

symbol (peace sign charm, candle, pebble, olive branch) in her hand as she

offers her commitment for peace to herself, and to her sister peacemakers:

“I commit to being a peacemaker in the world by ______________ .”

After the ceremony and celebration ends, take some time for yourself.

Look back at the reflection on page 24–25. Have any of your answers

changed since winding through aMAZE?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

How do you commit to being a peacemaker?

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

TIP For more ways to inspire

girls to continue with the

Girl Scouts, see “Staying

Connected!” on page 6 of

this booklet.

Spreading the Peace:

You Did It!

Congratulations! You’ve guided middle school girls through

some challenging issues during a critical

time in their lives. Take some time to

rewind and reflect:

What new insights do you have about

bullying and relational aggression, and its

impact on girls and your community?

By being part of the girls’ Peacemaking

efforts and Take Action project, what impact

do you think you’ve made?

What BFF lessons will you practice in

your own life, if any?

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