version: 02 last updated: 29 november 2017 …...7 trust making community enabled church working...
TRANSCRIPT
![Page 1: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT AND EVANGELISM Brexit Resources
Version: 02
Last updated: 29 November 2017
Author: Anne Richards and the Mission Theology Advisory Group
![Page 2: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
2
Table of Contents
StartingOut 4PursuingtheHuman....................................................................................................................................................4
Trust 7MakingCommunity.....................................................................................................................................................7
Confidence 9HonouringMemory.....................................................................................................................................................9
Hope 11NewNews..................................................................................................................................................................11
Sharing 13FaceofLove...............................................................................................................................................................13
![Page 3: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
The Mission Theology Advisory Group is an ecumenical group formed in partnership between Churches Together in Britain and Ireland and the
Church of England
We provide resources in the areas of Spirituality, Theology, Reconciliation, Evangelism and Mission
This resource belongs to our Evangelism series. Please print and share.
![Page 4: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
4
Starting Out Pursuing the Human
Enabled Church: Starting a Conversation
Genesis11.7‘Come,letusgodown,andconfusetheirlanguagethere,sothattheywillnotunderstandoneanother’sspeech’
OneoftheissueswhichhasarisenfromtalkingtopeoplewhovotedtoLeavetheEuropeanUnioninJune2016,wastheriseofwhatmightbecalledthe‘Babel’factor,theexperienceoflivinginanareawheremanypeoplearearoundyouaretalkingtoeachotherinlanguagesotherthanEnglish.MigrantslivinginthiscountryhavesometimesbeenthesubjectofmistrustandabusefornotbeingabletolearnortospeakEnglish,includingfrompreviousgenerationsofmigrantswhohavesuccessfullylearnedthelanguage.
SomeChristiansalsoreportedthatitwasfrustratingbeingunabletowelcomepeopletochurch,tellpeopleaboutwhat’sgoingonintheirlocalchurchsceneortosharefaithwiththeirneighbourswhentherewasalanguagebarrier.Conversely,someEnglishworkershavevoiceddisappointmentandresentmentthattheyareunabletojoininbanter,orunderstandinstructionswheretheirteamsofworkershabituallytalktoeachotherinotherlanguages.
Formanyeconomicmigrants,refugeesandasylumseekers,thetaskoflearningEnglishisanextraburdenontopofeverythingelsetheyaretryingtocometotermswith.Often,thechildrenpickitupfasterthantheadults,makingitevenharderforadultstomakesenseoftheworldaroundthem.Whileshopsmayprovideshelvesoffamiliarfoodsandsomechurchesprovideservicesinotherlanguagesforparticularcommunities,manypeoplefeelcutoffandisolatedwhentheirstrugglewithourlanguageletsthemdown.
Whatcanwedo?
OneofthebestwaysforpeopletolearnEnglishisthroughinformalconversationratherthanformalclasses.Whynotseeifthereareneighboursorpeoplecomingtochurchwhowouldlikeabitofspaceandtimejusttochat,withoutbeingjudgedfortheirlanguageskillsandinaspacewheretheycanmakemistakes?Someothersimplethingsthatpeoplearrivinginthiscountryhavefoundusefulare:
• Afriendtoaccompanythemtoshopsandtoansweranyquestionsaboutthegoodsthere.
This is one of our ‘Brexit’ resources in the Social Engagement and Evangelism series.
Check out the full range of resources in the Church Resources section of the Church of England website.
![Page 5: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
5
• Afriendavailabletohelpwithmedicalmatters,suchasgoingtothedoctororunderstandingtheinstructionsonmedication,ortohelpwithanyinteractionswithsocialworkers,lawyersorthepolice.
• Acoffeetimetoofferhelpwithpayingbillsormakingcomplaints.• Aschoolparentfriendtohelpwithschoolmattersandchildren’shomework.• Aconversation‘class’intheeveningtotalkwithasympatheticpersonandimprove
conversationalskills.• Ahelper’sphonenumbertocontactincaseofconfusionsormiscommunications.People
whodonotspeakEnglishverywellareofteneasilyscammed.• Anamedhelpertoassistwithspiritualmatters,suchasreadingtheBible,followingachurch
service,ortalkingtoapriestorminister.
LearningNewLanguages
Atthesametime,weshouldn’tjustassumethattheburdenisonmigrants,asylumseekersandrefugeestolearnourlanguage.Theconcernsthatpeoplehaveaboutthe‘Babel’factoremergejustasmuchfromthefactthatwedon’tunderstandourneighbours’languageseither.Thatsenseofbeingcutofffromothersthatcanhappenwhenpeoplearoundusaretalkingontheirphonestofamiliesandfriendscanbeimprovedbydevelopingnewconversationalskillsofourown.Soit’sworththinkingaboutstartingconversationswhichhelpothers,butwhichalsoaddtoourownskills.
• Nexttimeyouhaveacoffeemorning,ahousegroup,orevenatwork,findoutwhatlanguagespeoplealreadyhaveaworkingknowledgeof.Findoutwheretheylearnedthoselanguagesandwhattheyhaveeverusedthemfor.
• Askanynewfriendsatchurchwhattheirwordsandphrasesareforfamiliarthingsinchurch.
• TogetherwithnewChristianfriends,tryinglearningtheLord’sPrayerintheirlanguage(s)andprayingittogetherwiththem.
• Learnsomesimpleconversationalphrasesforgreetingothersinyourcommunityandusethemwhenyouareoutandabout.
![Page 6: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
6
• WorktogetherwithnewChristianfriendstomakeinvitationcards,producesimplenoticesandoffersofhelp(lifts,baby-sitting)intheirownlanguagessothatyoureachouttoothersfromtheirfamiliesandcommunities.
• Afterafewmonths,thinkaboutwhetheranyoftheseactivitieshavehelpedyouunderstandwhatitislikeforpeopleinthiscountrytryingtolearnEnglish.
![Page 7: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
7
Trust Making Community
Enabled Church Working against Racism
John4.9‘JewsdonotsharethingsincommonwithSamaritans’
AftertheBrexitvote,therewasanoticeableriseinracistbehaviourandincidents.DespitethevotebeingaboutBritain’smembershipoftheEuropeanUnion,theresultalsoseemedtocreateconditionsforexpressedxenophobiaagainstpeopleofAsianandAfricanoriginaswell.Peoplewhohadbeenlivinginthiscountryformanyyearsandevenseveralgenerationsfoundthemselvesbeingabusedandtoldto‘gohome’.
reported28/07/16
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/racism-unleashed-brexit-eu-referendum-post-referendum-racism-true-scale-of-post-eu-referendum-a7149836.html
Manypeoplereportedfearandanxietyaboutfar-rightgroupsinoursocietyandincreasedmistrustofpeopletheythoughtweretheirfriends.
Whatcanwedo?
Wecancreatetrustandsafer,trustworthycommunitiesasChristiansbyouractionsinthecommunityandensuringthatourchurchesandcongregationsaresafespacesforpeoplewhomaybetargets.Herearesomeideasforbeingactiveworkersagainstracisminourcommunities.
![Page 8: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
8
• Ifyouseesomeonebeingraciallyabused,dosomethingtodisrupt(safely)whatishappening.Don’ttakeonanyabuserorescalateanargument;insteadmoveovertothevictimandtalktohim,offersolidarityandtrytogetotherstoreactinasimilarway,shieldingthevictimandmakinghimlessisolated.Letthevictimknowthathecantrustyou.TheSafetyPininitiativeisbeingusedbysomepeopletoshowthis.
• Talktopeoplewhoexpressracistviewsinyourpresenceaboutwhytheyfeellikethat.Don’tstartanargument,buttrytogettheirthoughtsandfeelingsoutintheopenwheretheycanbechallenged.Sometimesfindingpeopletheyadmire(egTVstars)whofittheethnicityprofiletheyreject,canhelpcreateawayintothinkingaboutwheretheirhatredandfearmightbecomingfrom.
• Becomemoreawareofwhomyoumeetandgreetwhenyouareoutandabout.Ifyoufindthatyoumainlysayhellotowhite,middleclasspeople,makeanefforttosmileatandgreetinafriendlywayawidergroupofpeopleregardlessoftheirethnicity,age,gender,ability,oreconomicstatus.Ifyoudiscoverit’seasierforyoutoaddresssomepeoplemorethanothers,workonovercomingyourownpreferences.
• Findoutmoreaboutanyracistincidentsreportedinyourlocalnewsandfindoutwhatisbeingdoneinyourareatocombatracism.Seeifyoucanhelpwiththeiractivitiesorprogrammes.#moreincommonisaninitiativeofHopenotHatewhichinvitescommunitiestoholdeventswhichbringpeopletogether.
AChristiancouplewereconcernedaboutaneighbourwhoregularlyexpressedracistviewsaboutsomeoftheirIndianfriendsontheirstreet.TheyinvitedherouttoamealatanIndianrestaurantwheretheneighbourwasverydismissiveofthestaff.Thecoupleastonishedherbygreetingtheirwaiterbyname,catchingupwithhisnewsandsharingajokewithhim,introducinghimtotheirneighbourandgettinguptotalktohisfamilyinthekitchen.Theneighbourgrudginglyagreedthatitwasinterestingtofindoutaboutpeopleandshemighthavebeenwrongaboutthepeopleinherstreetandsaidshewasgoingtotalktothemalotmoreinthefuture.
Photo:UnBolshakov
![Page 9: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
9
Confidence Honouring Memory
Enabled Church Remembrance
Photo:DavidWright
‘Notwhatwefoughtfor’
Proverbs10.7‘Thememoryoftherighteousisablessing,butthenameofthewickedwillrot’
ItwasinterestingthatthereferendumonBritain’sfuturewithintheEUcoincidedwithanumberofcentenaryeventsconcerningtheFirstWorldWar,includingtheBattleoftheSomme.SomeofthepeopleaskedaboutwhytheyvotedLeavecitedadutytotheirfathersandgrandfatherswhofoughtinthetwoworldwars.ThecommemorativeeventshadmadethemthinkaboutissuesofEuropeanpower,aggressionandoccupationandthefreedomstheirownfamilieshadfoughtanddiedfor.Consequentlyforsome,mainlyolderpeople,thevotewasaboutpreservingsomethingthatwasamatteroftradition,‘Britishness’,‘values’andbeingourownmasters.SomeofthosepeopletalkedaboutperceptionsofEuropeasinterferinginBritishlife,introducingunsuitableregulationsand
![Page 10: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
10
laws,andpermittingEuropeanmigrantstoliveandworkintheUKasakindofpeacetimeoccupationwithpowerimperceptiblytransferringtothemastheysentmoneyandgoodsbacktotheircountriesoforigin,undercuttingself-employedBritishworkersandsqueezingBritishpeopleoutofhousingstockandservices.SomepeoplefeltthatGermanywasstillinsomewaythe‘enemy’andthatGermany’sstrongpositioninmodernEuropewasathreat.Theirperceptionwasthatthecommunitiestheysawaroundthemwere‘notwhatwefoughtfor’.
Thequestionis:howdowehonourthememoryofourancestorsandthosewhodiedinthetwoworldwars,acknowledgingthepastandthelessonswemightlearnfromit,whilehelpingpeopletoliveinthepresentandthefutureasadifferentandnewsetofopportunities?TheChurchisattheforefrontofRemembranceDayservicesandcentenaryeventsandthesehavegeneratedpowerfulmemoriesandpopularappeal,suchasthedisplayofceramicpoppiesattheTowerofLondonin2014.
Whatcanwedo?
• Openupthehistory.Thetwoworldwarswerefoughtforthefreedomandself-determinationofallEuropeannations,notjustBritain.Europeanmigrantsalsohadancestorswhofoughtinthosewarsorwereaffectedbythosewars–whataretheirmemories?Whatwasitliketoliveinanoccupiedcountry?HowdoEuropeanmigrantsinthiscountrythinkaboutthehistoryofthosewars?
• Uselocalhistorysocietiesandlocalmuseumstofindstoriesofopenness,hospitalityandwelcomefromthewaryears.Howdidpeoplepulltogetherandtakecareofeachotherincommunities.HowwerePOWsandrefugeestakencareof?Howcanthosestoriesmakeadifferencetoourcommunitiesandchurchactionstoday?
• EngagelocalpeopletounderstandthecurrentcampaignstobringmorerefugeestoBritainwhohaveexistingfamilyhere.
• Tapintothememoriesofolderpeopleaboutthingslikebeingevacuated,usingairraidshelters,rationingandreconstructionaftertheSecondWorldWar,togainagreaterunderstandingofwhatasylumseekersandrefugeesareexperiencingrightnow.
ARedCrossofficermeetingPOWSandgivingthem‘comfort’bags.
![Page 11: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
11
Hope New News
Enabled Church Speaking and Listening Truth
Ephesians4.25‘letallofusspeakthetruthtoourneighbours,forwearemembersofoneanother’
DuringtheEUreferendumcampaign,manypeoplewereaffectedbyclaimsmadeonbothsides.However,talkingtoLeavevotersafterwards,manymentionedtheclaimmadebytheLeavecampaignthatmoneysenttotheEUcouldbespentontheNHS.
Whilemanyofthosepeopleweresuspiciousofthefigurequoted,theclaimnonethelessgottheirattentionandsympathy,becausetheNHSissoimportanttoBritishpeople.Theytalkedabouttheirexperiencesofwaitingforalongtimetoseetheirlocaldoctororspendinghoursworriedandinpain,inA&E.OtherswerefrightenedthattheiroperationswouldbepostponedorthattheywouldnotgetthedrugstheyneedinthefuturebecauseoffundingproblemswithintheNHS.
ThestrengthoffeelingabouttheNHSanditssignificanceinourlivestellsussomeimportantthings.Firstthatweliveinanagewhenuntruthscanbetoldanditdoesn’tseemtomatter.‘Fakenews’andunsubstantiatedclaimscangetasmuchofaholdonpeople’semotionsandideasas‘truth’.Secondly,wefindthatpeoplerespondto‘fakenews’asifitweretruthbecauseitchimeswiththeirdeepfearsandintheirspiritualheart.Illhealthanditstreatmentarenotjustphysicalbutspiritualmatters.Waitinginadoctor’ssurgery,inA&E,onamaternityward,orwaitingforanoperationaretransformativeexperiencesinpeople’slives.
![Page 12: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
12
Wehavethecapacitytobringhopeintotheseanxious,andsometimesdark,placesandtobringpeoplenewnewsaboutthesupport,loveandcarethatChristianswhobelieveinJesusChristasGod’sTruth,canoffer.
Whatcanwedo?
• Wecanbecomemoreawareofthelocalandindividualconcernsofpeopleinourcommunities.
• Findoutwherepeoplearegettingtheirinformationfrom–arethesourcestrustworthy?SomepeoplemightnotspeakEnglishtoowellorhavedifficultyunderstandingormakingsenseofwhattheyreadoraretold.Wecandomoretobeourselvestrustworthysourcesofinformationorfactcheckers,notgossipsandrumour-mongers.
• Whatarethenewspaperssayingandhowaretheyformingopinionsinyourlocalcommunity?Youcantalktoyourlocalnewsagentsaboutwhatthemostpopularnewspapersareinyourarea.Whatnewshavewegottocounterscarestories?Churchescangatheranddisseminatepositivestoriesofeghospitalcare,localcrimeratesandthepositivecontributionsofEuropeanmigrantsinthelocalarea.
• Findoutwhopeoplefollowandwhotheylistentoontelevisionorthroughsocialmedia.Doopinion-formersneedtobechallenged?
• Findoutaboutpeople’sfears.Whataretheirissues,-health,climatechange,money?Thinkabouttheseasspiritualissuesaffectingpeople’srelationshipwiththeirfaith.Howcanweprovidereassuranceandhopefromourownfaith?
• Gatherstoriesaboutpeople’sexperiencesoftheNHS,commuting,lookingafterchildrenetc.Whatdothesestoriestellusabouttheir‘truth’andtheirspirituality?
• Createasupportnetworkorhelplineforpeoplewhoareworriedandupsetabouteverydaythingswhichimpactontheirlives.ThesethingsmightincludetheNHS,trainandbusservices,childcare,pensions,employment,benefits,orhousing.
• Helppeoplewhentheyrealisetheyhavebeenpersuadedbyuntruths.AsChristiansweknowthatJesuswasbetrayedandmanyliesweretoldabouthim.Hedidnotargueaboutit,butcontinuedtospeakGod’struthandactGod’struth.HowcanwebemorelikeJesusinhelpingpeoplewhofeelbetrayed,anxiousorhopeless?
‘...whenwedoitlikeJesuswesooftenexperienceacascadingofgrace.Andthatcascadeofgracefavoursmission’.
AnnMorisey,2004,‘Withoutpowerandatriskofbeingoverwhelmed:astrategyformission’Lecture.
Photo:AnneWorner
![Page 13: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
13
Sharing Face of Love
Enabled Church: Beyond ‘Nice’
Photo:[email protected].
Deuteronomy7.2‘Makenocovenantwiththemandshowthemnomercy’
ItwassurprisinginaskingpeopleabouttheirreasonsforvotingtoleavetheEUthatanumberoffaithfulChristians,activemembersoftheirlocalchurches,wereamongthemostanti-migrantvoices.However,afteraskingpeopleabouttheirfeelingsaboutwhathadhappenedintheircommunities,oneoftheissueswhichemergedwastheimpossibilityoftalkingaboutfearsandconcernsintheirchurchcircles.Sopeoplesaidthattheyfeltthattheycouldnotdiscusstheirworriesabouttheirlocalsituation,askforprayerorseekhelpandadviceaboutissueslikejobsorhousing,becausetheywouldnotbeshowingChristiantolerance,‘niceness’orkindnesstowardstheirneighbours.OneChristian,whoadmittedtoaninnerstrugglewithguiltandanxietywhichledtoaLeavevoteatthepollingstation,saidhehadcometotheupsettingconclusion,‘Idonotlovemyneighbour’.
WearecalledtobethefaceofGod’slovetoothers,buthavewebeenputtingpressureonpeopletobemoreChrist-likethantheycanhandle?Christiansarehuman,fallible,sinful,sowhatsafespacesinchurchesoronlinearemadeavailableforpeopletodealwiththeirprejudices,anxietiesandfears?HowdoweequippeopletobethefaceofGod’sloveandenablethemtosharetheirfearsaswellastheirfaith?Aremissionandevangelismonlyaboutconfidence?OrdoesthemissionoftheChurchalsorequireadmissionoffailureandvulnerability?JesustoldthestoryoftheGoodSamaritanbecausehewaswellawarethatthosearoundhimdidnotlovetheirneighboursandhegavethemastorytohelpthemtoconfrontthosedeep-rootedfeelingsandsubvertthemuntiltheycouldimaginethemselvesinneighbour-relationswiththoseaboutwhomtheyhadfeltthedeepestsuspicions.
![Page 14: Version: 02 Last updated: 29 November 2017 …...7 Trust Making Community Enabled Church Working against Racism John 4.9 ‘Jews do not share things in common with Samaritans’ After](https://reader034.vdocument.in/reader034/viewer/2022042310/5ed7b934498700329150e3ea/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
14
Whatcanwedo?
• Createsafe,neutralspacesinChristiancommunitiesforpeoplehonestlyandopenlytoexpressanyconcerns,anxietiesandfearsabouttheirlivesandwhatishappeningintheirlocalarea.Findcreativewaystoallowdifficultconversations.
• Don’tassumeeverybodyisokwiththefastpaceofchangeinsomecommunities.Whendemographicschange,servicesarestretched,andnewpeoplemoveintotheneighbourhood,beingthefaceofChristianlovecanbechallenging.Findwaystounderstandhowpeopledevelopdeepresistancetochangeandwherethatresistancemightbeatworkinyourchurch.
• Createoutletsforconcerns,forexampleopportunitiesforprayer,confession,supportgroupsandwaysofmeetingnewpeoplemovingintothearea.ThedocumentHatebustersandNeighbourlovershttps://www.churchofengland.org/media/2552147/hate_crime_and_the_churches.pdfpointstoexamplesofgoodpracticeforhelpingpeoplebecomegoodneighbours.
• Genuinewelcome,hospitalityandconcernforothersincludesacknowledgingtrepidationandcautiononallsides.Newrelationshipsaretendershoots.Don’tjustassumenewpeoplewilljustbeabsorbedintothechurchcommunityautomatically.Somethingstothinkaboutinclude:
Ø Helppeopletopronounceunfamiliarnamescorrectly.Don’tputpeopleinpositionswheretheycanbeembarrassedorstrugglewithprayersorannouncements.
Ø Somepeoplemayhavetroubleunderstandingnewcomerswithstrongaccentsandsoavoidtalkingtothem.
Ø SomeChristiansmaybehidinggriefforchangesinthechurchandcommunityespeciallyifthismeansthelossofoldfriendsandneighbours.
Ø Don’tsilencepeopleorexpectthemtobeniceallthetime.Findwaystodispeltensionandcreateopportunitiesforbefriendingpeoplethroughsharedactivitiesorstories.