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Proposal for Group

Logistics

This is a psycho-educational group that is intended for middle school students ages 11-

14, who may be experiencing relational abuse. As safety, respect, and feeling safe are the

environment ideals we would like to set, mixed sex groups may not be ideal, depending on

students needs. This group is not intended for one specific race, sexuality, or faith.

The ideal size for this group is between nine and twelve people. However, as little as five

people are acceptable and as many as fourteen people are also acceptable. Too many members

may make it harder to manage the group, as the topic is extremely sensitive and not all

participants would get a chance to participate in activities/exercises. Fewer than five members

would not be best; however, members may find it easier to bond in this setting.

This group will meet for an eight week period. To respect the busy schedules of students

and their families, the group will be held once a week, as frequent meetings can increase trust

and awareness between members. Sessions are intended to be an hour and a half long.

However, the first and last session may be longer, depending on the facilitator’s outlook. For

this particular outline, both first and last two hours. This is to ensure that group norms are set

and members become familiar with each other and to bring group to close and prepare

members for transitioning out of the group. However, it is important to remind members that

this group has an end from the first session. Lastly, there will be no fee for this group or

sessions.

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These sessions will be held at night and after school hours from 6pm to 7:30pm. The

preferable location will be off the middle school campus, in a community recreational center.

The location is extremely important and must be well thought out. It is important that the

location remains confidential, to confirm the members feel this safety. The duration of this

group is eight weeks long. There will be one session a week and eight sessions will be held. The

first session may be shorter, as it is meetings to welcome, create and review the group

norms/rules, and discuss the objectives and briefly discuss self-esteem.

***The first session will be held on May 7.

2. Introduction/Rational for Project

As we know, adolescence is a time of change, transitioning, personal growth, and

relationships. For most, adolescence is the first time close relationships are form (Wolfe et al.,

1998). Intimate relationships are also apparent. Today, during the formation of these

relationships in adolescence, abuse is occurring more frequently. Abusive relationships occur

when one partner tries to control the other through physical emotional or sexual attacks. This

threatens the emotional and physical well-being of the victim/survivor and predicts a risk for

future unhealthy, dangerous adult relationships (Close, 2005). Sadly, research indicates that

over fifty percent of adolescence, male and female, have already had at least one experience

with physical violence in their dating relationship (Cano et al., 1998). Higher percentages were

found when this research considered emotional abuse and verbal threats (Wekerle & Wolfe,

1999). It is possible for this violence to continue further in the relationship if left undetected

and untreated.

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Today, dating aggression in adolescence is of increasing concern to researchers, school

personnel, and public health officials (Slep, et al., 2001). Unfortunately, relational abuse is

severely underreported and is often mistaken as a normal part of an immature relationship

(Wekerle & Wolfe, 1999). As mentioned before, adolescence may experience their first intimate

relationships. They may not have preconceived ideas of what a healthy relationship is. Because

of this, the best way to stop the cycle of abuse is to educate teens and prevent it from

happening. However, if harm has already occurred, an intervention and support is needed for

the victim. A study done by Sears et al., (2006) showed that embarrassment prevented teens

from getting help or telling another about the abuse. This study also showed that teens want

skills to create a healthy self and relationship. Because of this, the purpose of this group is to

serve as an intervention, support, and skill learning curriculum for adolescent who are or have

experienced relationship violence.

Theoretical Orientation

Because of the nature of the group, the following sessions rely more on Adlerian and

Gestalt Psychology. Alfred Adler’s idea of Individual Psychology focuses on an individual’s

estimation of their own worth, esteem and value. This group will work with girls on all three of

these topics, as studies show that victims lose sight of one or all three. Gestalt psychology

encourages to embrace all parts of who you are and to take back responsibility and control over

your life.

As research showed, teens were embarrassed to come forward about the abuse they

have faced, this group will provide a safe and non-judgmental area for everyone to share.

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Research also showed that teens are not educated on the topic of a healthy self and

relationship. This group will act as a learning experience, as well as a support group for those

who have experienced such abuse and are seeking skills to form a healthier self and

relationship. This will occur through the use of activities, discussions and journaling.

Goals and Objectives of Entire Group

To provide a safe environment for middle school students to share their experiences To provide skill based learning To build a small social support group to help confront their experience and develop self-worth

Counselor Reflection

As practicing school counselors, we will have gained our certification/licensure to help primary

and secondary students, within the school system. Our education and extensive research done on the

topic of domestic violence in adolescence will serve as a means to facilitate this group. On top of our

education and research, I have experienced intervening in a domestic violence situation. I have

completed 40 hours of training to counsel those who have experienced sexual violence, through PAAR

( Pittsburgh Action Against Rape) . Lastly, the experience I have gained within graduate school has

enabled me to run groups efficiently, while implementing counseling.

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Overview of Group and Sessions:

Session Topic Summary

Session 1 Outlining Self-Esteem Welcome members, create group rules/norms, expectations, and make sure everyone has a good working definition of self-esteem.

Session 2 Understanding Self-Esteem Create a deeper understanding of self-esteem within a relationship. Focus on the positive qualities that each member has.

Session 3 Relationship Rights Make sure members have basic knowledge of their rights in a young healthy relationship.

Session 4 Personal Need Evaluation Members identify their current needs and healthy ways to fulfill them

Session 5 Relationship Needs Members will reflect on what needs are involved in a relationship. How to talk about their relationship needs.

Session 6 Feelings Help members identify and understand the emotions they are and have experience. Learn how to express and communicate emotions in a healthy way.

Session 7 Confidence and Assertiveness Understand the difference between assertiveness and aggression, how to be assertive and the benefits of doing so.

Session 8 Closing the Book Congratulate member for their work in the group. Focus on the progress made. Have members share their strengths/abilities. Focus on the ending of the course but highlight a positive future.

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References:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2012)Youth risk behavior surveillance—United

States, 2011. MMWR, Surveillance Summaries; 61(no. SS-4).

Cano, A., Avery-Leaf, S., Cascardi, M., & O'Leary, K. D. (1998). Dating violence in two high school

samples: Discriminating variables. Journal of Primary Prevention, 18(4), 431-446.

Close, S. M. (2005). Dating violence prevention in middle school and high school youth. Journal of Child

and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 18(1), 2-9.

Dutton, D. G., & Painter, S. (1993). Emotional attachments in abusive relationships: A test of traumatic

bonding theory. Violence and Victims, 8(2), 105-120.

Hazelden Foundation. (2003). Living in balance: Human needs and social relationships. Retrieved from

http://www.southwestern.org/rc/wp-content/uploads/EKL.Session-21-LIB-final.pdf

https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/files/cs/11studentworkbook.pdf

Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (2014). Prevention for teens:relationship rights. Retrieved

from http://www.icadvinc.org/prevention/for-teens/relationship-rights/

Kyriacou, D. N., Anglin, D., Taliaferro, E., Stone, S., Tubb, T., Linden, J. A., ... & Kraus, J. F. (1999). Risk

factors for injury to women from domestic violence. New England journal of medicine, 341(25),

1892-1898.

Levy-Peck, J. Y. (2009). Ipsv support group. A Guide to Psycho educational support groups, Retrieved

Fromhttp://www.wcsap.org/sites/www.wcsap.org/files/uploads/documents/IPSVSupportGroupGuide2009.pdf

Martins, M. M., et al. (2008). The power to change: How to set up and run support groups for victims

and survivors of domestic violence. England: NANE Women's Rights Association.

McColl, A. (2005). Domestic Violence and Schools. School Law Bulletin. From:

http://sogpubs.unc.edu/electronicversions/slb/slbspr05/article1.pdf

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http://sogpubs.unc.edu/electronicversions/slb/slbspr05/article1.pdf

http://www.icadvinc.org/prevention/for-teens/relationship-rights/

NASE. (2010). Self-esteem lesson plan improving self-esteem in adults. Retrieved from

http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/self-esteem-lesson-plan.php

O’Keefe, M. (2005). Teen dating violence: A review of risk factors and prevention efforts. National

Electronic Network on Violence Against Women, 1-13.

Reeve, S., & Breiner, J. (2009). How to love yourself worksheet. Retrieved from

http://www.self-esteem-experts.com/support-files/howtoloveyourselfworksheet.pdf

Sears, H., Byers, S., Whelan, J., Saint-Pierre, M. (2006). Adolescents’ ideads about girls’ and boys’ use

and experience of abusive behavior and dating violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence,21(9),

1191-1207.

Silverman, J. G., Raj, A., Mucci, L. A., & Hathaway, J. E. (2001). Dating violence against adolescent girls

and associated substance use, unhealthy weight control, sexual risk behavior, pregnancy, and

suicidality. Jama, 286(5), 572-579.

Slep, A. M. S., Cascardi, M., Avery-Leaf, S., & O'Leary, K. D. (2001). Two new measures of attitudes about

the acceptability of teen dating aggression. Psychological Assessment, 13(3), 306.

Sousa, C. A. (1999). Teen dating violence. Family Court Review, 37(3), 356-374.

Wekerle, C., & Wolfe, D. A. (1999). Dating violence in mid-adolescence: Theory, significance, and

emerging prevention initiatives. Clinical psychology review, 19(4), 435-456.

Williams, T. S., Connolly, J., Pepler, D., Craig, W., & Laporte, L. (2008). Risk models of dating aggression

across different adolescent relationships: a developmental psychopathology approach. Journal

of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(4), 622.

Wolfe, D. A., Wekerle, C., REITZEL–JAFFE, D. E. B. O. R. A. H., & Lefebvre, L. (1998). Factors associated

with abusive relationships among maltreated and nonmaltreated youth. Development and Psychopathology, 10(01), 61-85.

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http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/self-esteem-lesson-plan.php

Session I: What are we doing here? Individually Defining Self-Esteem

Purpose/Goal:

The purpose of the initial session is to welcome members. This is a time for the facilitator to get to know members and for members to become acquainted with one another. In this session, the facilitator should make sure that members understand the purpose and layout for the program. Also, group rules will be set and discussed. Facilitator should learn what each member expects from the group, including fears or questions. Lastly, a short discussion about the definition of self-esteem will be held to prepare members for the next session. Depending on time and member attendance, or if necessary, this last discussion can be combined into session two.

Opening: (10 minutes)-

Begin by introducing yourself to the group. In detail, explain who you are, including your level of education, qualifications, experiences, and why you are running this particular group. An optional addition would be to share something personal about yourself, for example, your favorite pet, movie or hobby. Go on to explain how the structure will be for each meeting (a brief check in, activities and learning, closing, questions).

Statement of Objectives for this particular session: (5 minutes)

Explain to members your purpose for this session. The main objective is to allow members to get to know each other and begin building trust. I want to know how they are feeling at this initial session, what expectations they have for themselves in this group, create a set of unique rules and to briefly discuss self-esteem. I also would like them to know that safety is of the most importance to this group.

Icebreaker: (15 minutes)

Materials needed: Small rubber playing ball.

This fun activity will allow members to become familiar with fellow members, all while sharing something fun about themselves. This is a great first session icebreaker, however, it can be used at the beginning of any session.

Have group stand in a circle. Throw the ball to a member. Have the member say her name and her favorite movie. Ask the member to throw the ball to another member and have her come up with another fun, safe question to ask this member. Continue this until every member is introduced.

Creating Ground Rules: (10 minutes)

Materials Needed: Dry erase board and pen

It is important to include members when creating rules to follow during this program. The facilitator can say, “As mentioned, throughout this group we will be discussing and, perhaps, sharing experiences,

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opinions, and emotions. Because of this, rules are important”, and ask, “Are there any group rules you would like to contribute to this group?”, or, “what rules would make you feel safe to participate at each session?”

An option is to take volunteer answers or go around the room a few times, inviting the group to create rules. The facilitator should make note of all of them on their dry erase board and bring the newly created list to every session. If possible, all members should receive a hard copy of this list as a reminder of the ground rules.

Example of general rules:

• Practice confidentiality

• Respect everyone

• No questions

• You are allowed to pass

• Be honest

• One person talks at a time

Beginning/ Introduction/Discussion: (20 minutes)

To start, acknowledge that coming to this first session may have been difficult. Remember that all members are at a different part of their healing journey. Lastly, explain to members what activities and discussions will take place within the session (listed below).

Materials needed: Poster Board and markers

Begin by asking the question, “What are your expectations for this group?” Allow group members to think about their own expectations, and write them down on the poster board. Pass the poster board around the room until everyone has contributed. It would be beneficial to bring this poster as a Following this reflection, ask members to share their feelings and expectations to the group. If no member volunteers, the facilitator can go first and model what is being asked.

It is important to recognize common feelings, labels, and expectations between members. If you notice that there are members who do not participate, ask the question, “Does anyone else feel the same as______does?” Allow members to recognize their similarities.

Self-Esteem Exercise: (20 minutes)Materials needed: Paper strips, pens, tape, flat surface (chalk board, poster board, cork board)

Begin by asking members what their own definition of self-esteem is. After giving two minutes to devote to building their definition, ask members to write it down on the strips of paper they

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were given. The facilitator can add his/her definition as well. When all members have completed this step, ask them to tape their definition to the flat surface.Read the definitions aloud and discuss similar and different definitions. Which definitions did the members like most? It is important to validate everybody’s input and definitions, even if you do not agree with them (Martins et al., 2008). Depending on the grade level, the members may not have a good grasp of what self-esteem is. But this is ok; this activity will be used as a reference of how member’s definitions change over the course of the group. As the facilitator, you should include your definition, focusing on confidence, respecting one ’s self, etc.

Outside Practice/HomeworkAs an outside assignment (activity), members will be asked to look further into their own definitions and consider other members definitions for the next session. To do so, it is suggested that members begin journaling about their experience in the group.

Connection/Closing (15 minutes)

In closing this session, very briefly touch on the creation of the rules, member’s expectations and ideas about self-esteem. This time will be devoted to questions that anyone may have about this session. As this is the first session, more time may be devoted to questions. However, due to the time of this session, this is not the period to bring up any new discussions or ideas. If members have ideas or different discussion ideas, they are encouraged to write them in their journal. It is important to congratulate members for participating in their very first session.

Evaluation:Session evaluation can be found in appendix (page ). Explain the significance and benefits of having a weekly evaluation and the importance of honesty. Also, share how it can help the facilitator for the following sessions.

HandoutsAs to not overwhelm members with papers, only one handout is given in the first session. This handout will be the overview of the group and its sessions. This can be found on page 2 of this guide.

ReferencesMartins, M. M., et al. (2008). The power to change: How to set up and run support groups for victims


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Session 2: Understanding Self-Esteem/ Further Exploration

Purpose:The purpose of Session 2 is to discuss where people went with the last session. We will delve deeper into the previous discussion on self-esteem. A connection will be made from session 1 and session 2. We will take this discussion further by discussing self-esteem role within a relationship.

Opening: (5 minutes)

This is the time to welcome all members back to the group for their second session. This is a good time to briefly introduce everyone over again, don’t forget to include reintroducing yourself (the facilitator). For the second session, although optional, another icebreaker will be implemented, as remembering names can be difficult for some, depending on the group size. A side note: this icebreaker can introduce the members who may have missed the first session.

Icebreaker: (10 minutes) What Represents You?

Materials needed: Paper, colored pencils, markers, crayons.

For this particular exercise, members will be given a piece of paper and different types of drawing tools. They will be asked to draw the things that represent them. After they have completed their drawings, members will be asked to introduce themselves again, share and explain their images with the group. The facilitator can share his or hers as well.

Ground Rules Review: (5 minutes)

The ground rules, that were recorded last session, will be handed out in this session. Members will be asked to look over the rules once again. It is important to ask if the rules are appropriate and if any more should be added.


A quick debriefing of last session will take place. This session will make sure that members are ready to move on to the next topic/session. Two activities will be implemented. These are to help members reflect on their own thoughts and experiences towards the topic. How members are feel and how their week went will also be addressed.

Introduction/Beginning/Discussion: (10 minutes)

Members are welcomed back into the group. Invite members to express how their week went after the session. Make sure that members are ready to move on. After, discuss their assignment, to reflect on their definition of self-esteem, from last week. As Dutton and Painter (1993) suggest, when a power imbalance occurs in a relationship, the victim “feels more negative in their self-appraisal and that this

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cycle of relationship-produced dependency and lowered self-esteem is evident (p.107). Because of this, it is important that we spend this session reflecting on their self-esteem and what this does for them.

Activity: (10 minutes) Collaborative Definition of Self Esteem.

Members will be separated into dryads. They will be asked what they feel is the best definition of self-esteem, after having a week to reflect. Members will discuss their ideas with their partners and try to combine their definitions. After, the pairs will be asked to share their combined definition and ideas. The group will then take the definitions and agree on one that really interests them and/or motivates them. This definition will be noted as a reminder of a collaborative group goal.

Part 2 of Activity: (10 min)

Distribute the handout titled Positive Self Reflection. This can be found in the Appendices Section (Page). This is a great self-reflection to help members assess their own positives qualities. Discussion: Upon completing the worksheet, have members discuss how it was completing the exercise. Was it difficult, easy, confusing, etc?

Activity 2: Positive Self Esteem (10 minutes)

Materials needed: Dry erase board and dry erase marker

For this activity, members are challenged to think of characteristics, that people with high self-esteem possess. Pose the question, “What are some characteristics of people with high self-esteem?” Pass the dry erase board around and ask members to write at least one trait. When the board returns to you (the facilitator), Flip the board around so everyone can see the list they created. Follow this activity with a slightly different question, “Why are these traits important to possess in a relationship?” This question is to prompt members to think about relationships, in a less threatening way and to look at the benefits of having a healthy self-esteem.

Outside Practice/HomeworkThe assignment for this week, members are asked to reflect on their experience this week, specifically in terms of what they have learned in the session. Again, journaling is an option to keep track of thoughts. Challenge members to think of more benefits of having a healthy sense of self in a relationship.

Connection/Closing: (15 minutes)

In closing, thank the girls for coming to the second session. Their attendance shows support and dedication. Just like the first session, questions are welcomed at this time. The facilitator will answer any lingering questions or concerns regarding this session or the past session. Again, it is best that no new discussions begin at closing.

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Evaluation:

Members will assess their experience and share their opinions about this session by filling out the evaluation form. Again, this can be found on page of the Appendix

HandoutsThe Positive Self-Reflection handout, can be found in the Appendix Section (Page)

ResourcesDutton, D. G., & Painter, S. (1993). Emotional attachments in abusive relationships: A test of traumatic

bonding theory. Violence and Victims, 8(2), 105-120.



Reeve, S., & Breiner, J. (2009). How to love yourself worksheet. Retrieved from


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Session 3: Relationship Rights

Purpose/Goal:

The purpose of this session is to educate members about their rights, and more specifically, their relationship rights. Encourage a discussion between members about how these rights look to them.


Again, we welcome the group back to their third session. As we touched on self-esteem as it relates to relationships, it is important to discuss the rights you are entitled to when in an intimate relationship with another person.

Ground Rules Review: (optional throughout session)

It is important to bring up the ground rules whenever the facilitator feels it is necessary. If the facilitator feels that a particular topic requires an overview of the rules or maybe just a good reminder would help members feel safe, it is important to remind them of the rules they have created and to make sure all are following them.


A debriefing about last session will occur. Within this session, we will reveal, learn, and discuss together what these particular relationship rights mean to you. We will discuss the benefits these rights have in healthy relationships

Introduction/Beginning: (15 minutes)

To begin, we will spend 5 to 10 minutes debriefing last week’s session. As we focused on self-esteem in one’s self and within a relationship, we want to know if anyone has any insight or reactions after the session or during the week about the exercise and activities we accomplished. This is to ensure that members are, once again, ready to move on to the next topic. After the debriefing, we will move on to our current topic regarding relationship rights. The Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2014), mentions that to be a part of a relationship doesn’t mean you are not your own person anymore. And it does not mean that this persona can run your life. Because of this, we are discussing this topic as it is important for everyone to know their individual rights they have in a relationship. At this time, you can ask members if they are aware of any rights that they have.

Activity- The Word Game (10 minutes)

In this activity, members are asked to answer one question with a ONE word answer. For this particular session, the question should be geared towards the topic. For example, you may ask, “what does a relationship mean to you?” or “what do you like most about relationships?” Remember, you are challenging members to answer with one word. This can be a great exercise to see how members are feeling, while transitioning into the next topic.

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Activity: (20-30 minutes)

Materials needed: index cards and pen

Before the session, the facilitator will write one relationship right on each index card. These rights can be found in the Appendices section (page. )The index card, with a right writing on it, will be handed out to members. Make sure each member has a card. When everyone receives a card, ask everyone to read their right one at a time. After each right is read, pose the question, “when this was right violated or upheld?” Any member of the group can reflect on the right, however, it is important to make sure that one person is talking at a time. This activity will bring awareness to the topic and relate it to member’s experiences. Note: This topic may not be the easiest for members to communicate. If difficulty in participating occurs, find common feelings. If one member mentions that her right was violated, ask members if they could relate to her or have had a common experience.It is possible that this activity will last longer than the intended 20 minutes, which is completely acceptable. Make sure to take time to discuss member’s reactions to this activity. What did this activity do for their thoughts and perspectives?

Outside Practice/HomeworkHave members look over the relationship rights handout (available in Appendices on page). Ask members to see what rights were violated or what rights were respected in the past. Have them journal their reaction and assignment.


It is a good idea to debrief this topic more slowly, as members may have many experiences and opinions on this topic. This is an important session to leave time for questions. Make sure that members have a better understanding of their rights, recognize when they were violated and especially recognize when they were respected.

Evaluation:Have members fill out the weekly evaluation (Appendix page)

HandoutsBasic Relationship Rights Handout (Appendix page)

Resources Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (2014). Prevention for teens:relationship rights. Retrieved

from http://www.icadvinc.org/prevention/for-teens/relationship-rights/

Levy-Peck, J. Y. (2009). Ipsv support group. A Guide to Psycho educational support groups, Retrieved

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http://www.icadvinc.org/prevention/for-teens/relationship-rights/

Fromhttp://www.wcsap.org/sites/www.wcsap.org/files/uploads/documents/IPSVSupportGroup

Guide2009.pdf

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Session 4- What Do I Need? Personal Needs session

Purpose/goal:

The purpose of this session is to educate and help members identify their own needs and overall desires. This would also be a good time to help members put their needs first, while identifying them. This session is created to occur before Session 5 (Relationship Needs). Members will learn how to express these needs.


Begin this session by welcoming everyone back and by touching on what was discussed last week (relationship rights). Ask members to share their journal reflection with the group. If possible, ask members if there were any particular rights that they felt were most violated or respected.

Ground Rules Review: (optional throughout session )


Statement of Objectives for this particular session:

The main points of this session will be to confirm that members are comfortable with moving onto the next topic. Members will be asked to explore the needs they have in their day to day life. Members will become educated and be able to differentiate between needs (internal and external). It is also important to focus on what needs members have control over.

Introduction/Beginning: (10-20 minutes)

To start, it may be beneficial to think back to the discussion on rights As you have already touched on member’s reflection of their rights, good introduction discussion can result from asking ask members if there are any rights that need to be satisfied or respected more. Explain the definition of needs to members, or that needs are circumstances that one desires or that is mandatory. This depends on what we feel we deserve. It is important to explain that needs also depend on what we can ask from ourselves and others. Make sure to examine the link between recognizing what are needs are and our ability to express them (Martins et al., 2008).

Make sure to explain to group that there different kinds of needs. Spend a few minutes differentiating between external and internal needs. For example, external needs are needs that often depend on others (Martins et al., 2008). Internal needs are based off of the individuals wants for themselves. Make sure to focus on the needs that members have control over. If needs are more external, which may be the case for this session, challenge members to reframe their external needs into more internal wants.

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Activity- Assessing my Needs- (20 minutes)

For this activity, pass out the needs assessment and influence sheet to all members. Ask members to spend at least 10 minutes to complete this handout (Appendix page). This handout will allow members to recognize and have a concrete idea of what their needs are. This handout also includes a section for members to choose the needs they would like to change and fulfill.After all members are finished, ask if any of them would like to share a need of theirs, and how they would change, achieve, and communicate them to others.NOTE: It may be difficult for members to recognize that they have needs and wants. Have fun needs and wants available for example.

Outside Practice/HomeworkMembers will be asked or encouraged to continue this activity in their journal. Have them make a list of their needs and then define how they can fulfill a healthy need or change a need into one they can control and fulfill.

Connection/Closing -(15 minutes)

As this session contained more learning material then the past sessions, more time will be left to answer and questions or to eliminate confusion about the topic of needs. Finally, thank the girls for coming and congratulate them for completing half the course (this a is a great and gentle way to remind members that this group has an ending).

Evaluation-

Ask members to complete the evaluation form.

Handouts-Needs assessment and influence sheet (Appendix page)

ResourcesMartins, M. M., et al. (2008). The power to change: How to set up and run support groups for victims


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Session 5- Relationship Needs

Purpose/goal:The purpose of this session is to help members identify what needs need to be fulfilled in a healthy relationship. Members will also learn how to communicate these needs.


Welcome members to their fifth session. Briefly reflect on member’s contributions last week and journal reflections on their needs. Facilitators can take volunteers or go around the room, depending on the group size.




This session is an addition to the previous session on personal needs. We will tie in last session to this one. Members will assess important needs in a relationship and contribute their own ideas and needs.

Introduction/Beginning: (15 minutes)

It would be a good idea to begin the session by educating members about universal relationship needs. For example, the need for belonging, affection, and support are universal needs. In relationships, each partner equally fulfills and depends on the other to fulfill these needs. Ask members if these universal needs are important to them and why. If they are, ask them what the definition of each of those needs means to them. Also, make sure they understand that the fulfillment of these needs is part of a healthy relationship.

It is also important to recognize the role of these needs for someone who is not in a relationship. These needs can be met in other relationships as well. Highlight the importance of bonds with friends and family. Ask members, not in a relationship, for examples of these needs being met by friends and family.

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Activity: Recognizing Your Relationship Needs- (20 minutes)

For this activity, pass out the What Makes a Relationship Healthy handout. Ask members to take at least 10 minutes to complete the worksheet. Ask members to check which characteristic/relationship need is important or not important.This worksheet also poses the question of what needs did they gave up in their past relationship (Hazelden Foundation, 2003)Upon everyone’s completion of the handout, ask members how it was completing this exercise. Where did their minds go while checking the needs? Ask members to volunteer their answers to the needs they gave up in past relationships. https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/files/cs/11studentworkbook.pdf

MiddleExplain to members that communication is an important skill to utilize in any relationship. Communicating the needs of a relationship is extremely important and a main function of a healthy relationship. These skills can be practiced and learned. This exercise is an example of how to communicate and listen effectively.

Activity: Communicating Needs and Wants-(20 minutes)

This activity is a role play exercise. Have members pair up for this activity. Members can decide who is Partner A and Partner B.Partner A will start by making a statement about what she needs, wants, how she feels, etc.Partner B will be asked to listenPartner B will repeat back Partner A’s statement entirely Partner A will either confirm or fix their statement.Partners will switch roles and repeat exercise

As a discussion, ask members how they were feeling during this exercise and how they feel about it now. Ask if there was any difficulty asserting their needs.

NOTE: As facilitators, notice how members flow through this activity. Make sure to note any difficulty that members have. Work through these emotions together, as other members may have common feelings.

Outside Practice/Homework-

Challenge members try this communication exercise outside of the session, with friends and family. Have them journal their experience outside of group.

IMPORTANT: DO NOT SUGGEST THAT MEMBERS COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR PRIOR ABUSERS.

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Connection/Closing -(15 minutes)

In closing this session, thank members for a great session. Congratulate them on all the work they did in this session. Summarize what was discussed and learned. Invite questions about this topic. This is not a time to start a new discussion

Evaluation:

Ask members to complete an evaluation sheet before they leave.

Handouts:What Makes a Relationship Healthy handout (Appendix page)

References:

Hazelden Foundation. (2003). Living in balance: Human needs and social relationships. Retrieved from



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Session 6- Boundaries & Feelings/Emotions

Purpose/goal:

The purpose and goal of this session is to educate girls on personal boundaries and the importance of them. This session will also include a discussion on feelings. It is possible to turn this session into two sessions. However, for the sake of this group, they will be combined.


Welcome all members back to the session. Have a brief overview on last week’s topic. Make sure everyone has a good understanding of their own personal needs and relationship needs before moving on to the next topic. You can take this time to have members share what they reflected in their journals.

Ground Rules Review: (optional throughout session )



The main objectives for this session are to instill members with the purpose of boundaries and to identify their feelings of their current boundaries. This is an important session, as having no boundaries is a result of abuse. This session will also be open to all members to share particular feelings.

Introduction/beginning: (2 minutes)

Begin this session by discussing boundaries. Before giving your definition, allow a discussion to occur between group members.

Quick Intro Discussion Activity: (10 minutes)

To begin, split the group into smaller groups of 3 or 4, depending on the overall size. Ask members to each give their own definition of boundaries and what boundaries mean to them. Hand out the I AM, I AM NOT worksheet (Calls, 2013) and ask them to briefly fill it out. Remind group of the rules. When each member has had a chance to share to their group members, ask everyone to come back to the larger group. Ask if anyone would like to share or comment about the activity.

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MiddleThe facilitator can now give their broad definition of boundaries. Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves. They are set to define who we are and to respect our rights, especially in a relationship. Boundaries uphold a level of self-respect. Remind members of the self-esteem discussion they all shared.

Activity: My Boundaries Review (25 minutes)

Materials needed: Hula hoops, colored circles cut from construction paper, markers

This particular exercise is to help members identify the boundaries they have in their life, at the present time. To begin, ask each member to grab a hula hoop, a marker, and 6 different colored circles.Have them write on each circle the people in their lives. For example, parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, boss, counselor, and their ex-partner (this person can be written on the black circle) are all acceptable answers. Have each member place the hula hoop down somewhere in the room. Tell them that this signifies their own personal bubble and space. Have members sit in their bubble and look at the circles they have labeled with people.Ask them to place these circles in a way to represent how each of those people respects their boundaries.

Note: More likely than not, members will place their circles very close, if not inside their own bubble (Martins et al., 2008). Ask them how this looks to them and why they chose this placement.

After, ask members to place these circles in places to represent how they would like their boundaries to be respected.

Take this time to move your own circles into a healthy placement and explain why they are healthier and respectful interpretation of boundaries. It gives their bubble and personal space more room to grow and learn. This includes learning one’s own needs, trust, letting go, and self-esteem.

Learning Discussions: (30-40 minutes)

The next 15 minutes will cover the discussion of anxiety and fears. These were probably addressed in the first session; however, this includes more education. These two emotions are most common in setting boundaries, abusive situations, as well as leaving the relationship. Fear is an emotion aimed to protect us. Anxiety is an uneasiness that occurs when anticipating an event or person. After a while, it may become harder and harder to differentiate between the two. As these are two emotions that these girls have already felt, open for any sharing or questions.

The next 15 minutes will cover anger and guilt. Again, members may have expressed these two emotions in the first session. Ask members to explain a time that they felt guilty in their relationships. Assess which feelings of guilt were valid and which were forced on them. Anger is also a protection

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emotion we used when we believe our rights boundaries are crossed and are not being respected. Make sure to explain to members that they have a right to feel angry but show them that it can be guided into something good. Ask members to share positive situations that their anger created or times they channeled their anger.

Important: It is important to help these girls identify, validate, and take responsibility for their emotions. This is also a good time to discuss the feelings towards the groups ending soon.

Outside Practice/HomeworkEncourage members to recognize their boundaries. Have them identify what they are and how they relate to their personal and relationship needs. Also, challenge members to recognize their emotions (anger, guilt, fear, anxiety) when these boundaries are crossed or respected.


As this session contained much material, use this closing to wrap up and connect each part of the session. Make sure to leave ample time for questions regarding this topic.

Evaluation:As members to fill out the weekly evaluation.

HandoutsI AM> I AM NOT worksheet on appendix page.

ResourcesCalls, A. (2013, February 27). Setting personal boundaries [Web log message]. Retrieved from

http://rectherapyideas.blogspot.com/2013_02_01_archive.html



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http://rectherapyideas.blogspot.com/2013_02_01_archive.html

Session 7: Assertiveness and Confidence

Purpose:The purpose and goal of this session is to teach members about assertiveness and the ability to be confident. Members will learn skills of being assertive and learn to differentiate the difference between being forceful and being assertive.


Welcome all members to this session. Recap the last session and ask girls to share their outside assignment and reflections. Make sure that members have a clear understanding of boundaries and their emotions. It is ok if some questions arise at this time. Give a quick overview of what will be done in this session and in the next session. Make sure to remind members that this is the second to the last session and they are doing very well.




The goal for this session is to teach assertiveness skills and techniques for members to practice outside of group and to educate members on the difference between being forceful and being assertive.

Introduction/ Beginning: (10 minutes)

As mentioned in last session, it is important for everyone to set boundaries. It is also important to recognize anger when someone disrespects your boundaries. It is important to be constructive when dealing with this emotion. Pass out the Eight Golden Rules for Assertiveness (appendix page) (Martins et al., 2008). Ask member to look over the rules or take turns reading a rule aloud. This will bring us to an activity.

Activity/Discussion- (5 minutes)

Ask members to share a time when their boundaries were disrespected or crossed and they did not have the confidence to stand up. Let them express how they felt at the time and how they handled the situation. Would they like to change how they handled the situation?

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Middle It is also important to understand the difference between aggression and assertiveness. Perhaps members expressed wanting to yell, scream or hit the person who crossed their boundaries. Many often confuse the two because it involves being confident and standing up for one’s self. However the two are quite different. For example, aggression is a way to force your needs on others, while assertiveness is a safe way to express your needs to others. Pass out the handout on Aggression, Passiveness and Assertiveness (appendix page).

Ask members to distinguish if by changing the situation, how would they be assertive.

Explain the importance of getting out of an escalating situation. For example, if a person is getting out of hand and using rude words and comments towards you, it is a good idea to use assertive closing comments. An example of this is “ I do not deserve to be talked to like this, let’s talk when things get calmer.”

Activity: Practice- (15 minutes)

Materials needed: Dry erase board

This is a great opportunity to role play assertive talk and confidenceAsk members to pair up and choose who will go first.Let Partner A go first, explain a time when someone crossed her boundaries. Partner A will respond to partner B what she would say if it ever happened again. This will be an assertive response.Let partners switch place. Partner B will repeat the activity using her experience and her assertive response.

Outside Practice/HomeworkHave members to practice the assertive skills they have acquired today. Ask them to reflect in their journals.

Connection/Closing – (15 minutes)

Leave enough time to recap entire session, answer questions, and to remind everyone that the last session will be next week.

Evaluation:

Ask members to fill out session evaluation for this week. (appendix page)

Handouts Aggression, Passiveness and Assertiveness (appendix page)

Eight Golden Rules of Assertiveness (appendix page)

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References:Martins, M. M., et al. (2008). The power to change: How to set up and run support groups for

victims and survivors of domestic violence. England: NANE Women's Rights Association.

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Session 8: Closing the Book- A New Chapter

Purpose/goal:

The purpose of this final session is to recap all that was covered in the previous sessions. This is the time to focus on member’s strengths, accomplishments, and all the progress they have made.


Welcome all members to the final session of this group. Congratulate them all for their successes and progress. Take this time to focus on their use of assertiveness skills. Have members share their success with the homework assignment. Discuss that tonight’s session will be focusing on their strengths.




This session is aimed at finalizing the group and preparing members to transition into the last session. Focus on all members’ strengths throughout the session up until now. This is also a good time to help the group to accept that this is the end of the group. It is a good idea to use present and future talk.

Introduction/beginning: (30 minutes)

Emphasize that this has been a great group. Stress how much success has been reached and how strong all these young girls are. However, you want to hear from them about their own personal strengths.

Intro Activity and Discussion: Creating a Memory of Strengths

Materials needed: Paint, brushes (multiple sizes), stones (small/medium, smooth)

For this activity ask members to choose a grounding stone and to pick paint and a few Ask members how they can use this strengths in the futurepaint brushesExplain to members that, while they are sharing their own personal strengths, they will be creating their own reminder of their gifts Ask members to paint and design the stone in a way that represents their strengths, with as many colors and designs as they wish.While they are actively creating their representations, ask members to share what they believe their strengths are.

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Facilitators should validate all strengths and encourage members to continue recognizing all the strengths that are within them.After finishing their grounding stones, have them place them on the side or on a separate table away from the group. ( At the end, let members share what they have created!)

Middle: (10 min)

At this time, remind members what the purpose of this group was. It was a way to create a safe environment for the girls to grow, learn and share experiences. Some girls may have found that they are not alone in their experiences. Again, celebrate the group for what they have done and how much they have overcome. You can also express the sadness in this session. However, make sure you mention that this is just the beginning of a new chapter for them.

Activity: Sharing Growth (15-20 minute)

Although each member has been filling out a weekly evaluation, this is a great opportunity to invite members to vocalize what she has learned from this group. Also, ask what they believe was the most significant part of this group for them.This is an open, less structured, and more social activity. Members are welcome to break into dyads or groups of three, however, it is important that all members hear others opinions.

Outside Practice/HomeworkAlthough this is the last session, encourage members to continue journaling their experiences, making sure to highlight their areas of growth. Regarding their stones, remind members that they have created these stones to remind them of this group experience and their strengths. They can keep it in their pocket or somewhere they will always see it.

Connection/Closing (20 min)

In closing, thank the young women for attending each session and being a part of the group. It would be good to explain the members your feelings towards the group. Explain your experience with the members, making sure to highlight their positives and strengths. Tell members that you can be available after the session for a few minutes, if any member needs to discuss anything further. It is possible to refer girls to other agencies, as well.

Evaluation:

For the final session, a different evaluation is handed out (Appendix page)

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Resources:



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What Makes a Relationship Healthy?

What do you think are the characteristics of a healthy relationship? Rate the following list of

characteristics of a healthy dating relationship. Check “not important” or “very important”.

CHARACTERISTIC: Not Important Very Important

Open and easy communication

Accept each other as they are

Look out for each other’s best interests

Mutual trust

Mutual respect

Similar values

Similar goals

Have fun together

Physical affection

Can work out problems and conflicts respectfully

What needs were you willing to give up in your past relationships?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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POSITIVE SELF- REFLECTION(Reeve & Breiner, 2009)

List what you honor and appreciate about yourself – (example- your gifts, talents, skills and abilities).

Here are some questions to consider while making your list:

a. What do I appreciate about myself?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

b. What are my strengths? What am I good at; skills and talents?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

c. What do I have achieved in my life; accomplishments?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

d. What do my friends/family appreciate about me?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

e. What do I like about others? Which of these characteristics do I have?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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WEEKLY SESSION EVALUATION

1.) What did I like about the group?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.) Do you feel that the group belonged to all members? Why or why not? ( ex. Did group allow members take an active role in continuing the group)?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) What Areas Could Use Improvement?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4.) What did I take away from this group session, if anything?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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I AM - I AM NOT

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The Eight Golden Rules of Assertiveness(Martins et al., 2008)

1.) Choose your battles carefully. Determine your goals and decide exactly what you want to accomplish or change.

2.) Talk in the first person, be brief, and choose your wording carefully.

3.) Do not expect everyone to like your new boundary setting style.

(If they respond angrily and things are not working out as you hoped, drop the issue and leave.)

4.) Try not to raise your voice. Be calm, firm and in control.

5.) Repeat and rehearse your speech before doing it for real.

6.) Do not apologize; setting a boundary is always appropriate.

7.) Repeat your statement if necessary.

8.) After the exchange, evaluate how you feel, how things went, what you got out of it, if it turned aggressive at any point, and how you could improve your assertiveness techniques for the future.

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FINAL EVALUATION

1.) How are you feeling after the group, compared to before the group started?

Great Good No Change Worse Significantly Worse

Why do you believe this is?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.)How was your overall experience with this group and why? ( example, very good, good, satisfactory, poor)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.) Was this group helpful for you? Why? Why not? Which part was most helpful?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4.) For you, what was the hardest part about this course?_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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5.) Rate your experience with your facilitator(s).

Very A little Not at All

Knowledgeable on subject 1 2 3

Sensitive to my needs 1 2 3

Non- Judgmental 1 2 3

Good Model 1 2 3

Comments on Facilitator:

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Would you recommend this group course to others?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Do you have further suggestions on how this group could be better?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Consent to Group Treatment

I voluntary agree to receive counseling services from _____________, and authorize her to provide care or services, as are considered necessary and advisable.

By signing this Group Information and Consent form, I acknowledge that I have both carefully

read and understand all the terms and information contained here. I have asked and sought

clarification on any unclear terms or concepts at this time. I also acknowledge that I agree to all

of the terms in this form and have received a copy.

Please Initial:

__________ You affirm that you have been informed of the likely benefits and material risks of

treatment, and that you have been informed of some of the strictures and/or responsibilities of this

counseling treatment.

__________ You represent that you have the legal authority to obtain counseling for any minor

treated.

Parent’s Signature _____________________________ Date _______________________

Student’s Name _____________________________ DOB _______________________

I certify that I am the (circle one) father/mother/legal guardian of the above named child, and I

hereby give my authorization and consent for the above named child to receive outpatient

assessment/therapy from _________.

Signature ______________________________________ Date ______________________

Counselor Signature ______________________________Date _______________________

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