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2 AUGUST 2010

22 CLEOBLACKEYES ULTIMATE FESTIVAL

SURVIVAL GUIDE

30 SUBMACHINE

34 THE GOLDEN TIKI

36 MISS YUCKI

40 SONJA RUPPERSBERG

44 PUNK IN AFRICA PT 1

18 KITTY KAT’S TIPS

20 THE COMINGS AND GOINGS OF THE ASSHOLE YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU ABOUT

SONJA RUPPERSBERG SHOT BY DR-BENWAY

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12 FASHION

14 BEAUTY

24 CORTINA WHIPLASH ALBUM LAUNCH

26 THE MOCHINES

28 SUBMACHINE & THE OTHERWISE

4 EDITOR’S LETTER

5 CREDITS

6 CONTRIBUTORS

8 RADAR

10 EAR CANDY

12 ON THE BIG SCREEN

13 READ IT

46 REAL WOMEN

48 OPINION

50 REALITY CHECK

4 AUGUST 2010

As I’m sitting and writing this, Op-pikoppi fever is high at the VIXXEN HQ. I have my trusty right hand, Chris-telle Duvenage sitting next to me, and my equally trust other right hand, Gen Twoco on the phone, cheering us on. Many of you might know that Christelle and Gen are now assistant editors and are deeply involved in the process of the magazine. We made a pact a while back that this was going to be something we are going to do full time, putting all our love in.

This month marks a new chapter of my personal life. I gave up an amazing job to do this magazine full time, ded-icating myself entirely to something that has become my full being, and at the risk of sounding corny, my calling. Am I scared? You bet. Am I excited? With a team like this, how could I NOT be? I really cannot say enough how amazing each and every VIXXEN girl is (plus our kick-ass contributors, some once of, some regular), and I wake up

amped on work every day. I am truly living my dream, and although to some people leaving an amazing job would sound crazy for a non-profit magazine, to me, it’s a natural pro-gression.

This month’s cover girl is someone I personally really look up to. Sonja is a fire engine and is truly inspiring.

I also decided to get inked by my friend Ryan Buster Bolton, and will show you guys the end result when we are done with all the pain, in time for the next issue.

Clair Cantrell, who has been in the music industry for longer than she cares to admit, has started Part 1 of her feature in Punk In Africa, and we have Tamara Sun back with more of Kitty Kat’s beauty and fashion tips.

Gen orchestrated an AMAZING shoot for local Gods, Submachine, and that was a day to remember. One of our honorary VIXXENs, Abel Scholtz made sure he captured the bands

energy down to a T. The end result is one of our best features to date!

As we launch this issue, we are packing for Oppikoppi, for which we were lucky enough to get press passes, in order to cover this fest for you. So, once again Tina Terminator, Sticky Stella and Cleoblackeye will be bringing you all the action from the weekend. This time, however, we are traveling with another amaz-ing VIXXEN, Olivia Mortimer, who is armed with her camera in order to take some sick sick photos.

In conclusion, we here at VIXXEN would like to dedicate this issue to Leigh Roomes, who I unfortunately never got the pleasure of getting to know. But I know for a fact that he will be deeply missed by all who knew and loved him.

Stay gold, Leigh.

EDITOR: TINA KOULISHEVA

ASSISTANT EDITORS:CHRISTELLE DUVENAGEGEN TWOCO

PHOTOGRAPHY:CHRISTELLE DUVENAGECATHERINE ANNE COFFEEBEANCLEO BLACK

WRITERS:CLEO BLACKCHRISTELLE DUVENAGEOLIVIA MIKRUTJEN ROOMES

FASHION & BEAUTY EDITOR:LILI NERLICH

PRESS & MEDIA:GEN TWOCO

MARKETING MANGAGER & PR:MARISKA KRUGER

DESIGN:TINA KOULISHEVACHRISTELLE DUVENAGEJEN ROOMESMARISKA KRUGER

CONTRIBUTORS:JACQUI VAN STAADEN, CLAIR CANTRELL, CAMERON RICHARDS, GREG TUCKER, CHE WANNENBURG, CAMILLA ROSE, DAVE SAN PAULO, JERUSHA GRIERSON, DYLAN ELLIS, ABEL SCHOLTZ, DR-BENWAY, TA-MARA SUN, JOE DOE

PHOTOGRAPHY BY STAN KAPLAN

6 AUGUST 2010

Cameron enjoys cool shit, and takes photos of said cool stuffs. He spends his time drifting between the city and the good ol’ outdoors, and occasionally ventures into the deep South for inspiration in prepa-ration for exhibitions. He drinks whiskey, if you’re buying. Cameron reviewd The Mochines for us. To see more of Cameron go to www.cameronrichards.com

Jacqui is one kick-ass photog-rapher! She is always out and about shooting bands and is the staff photographer for The Death Valley Blues Band. She kindly let her use her pictures of The Golden Tiki.

Camilla Rose is a philosopher by day, a rock ‘n roller by night, and an anarchist punk at heart. She also plays bass for The Death Valley Blues Band, and wrote the opinion piece this month, and shot the bands at the Cortina Whiplash album launch.

The man of cult myth once dj’ed on a beach in Thai-land on new years eve to 10 people and then got rained upon...but that won’t phase a cult hero still walking on two legs tall with favourite foods like mushrooms, chicken andAvocadoes and a friendly attitude of “Ask and ye shall get an answer (not sure if it will be to your liking)”. Well Destrukto Radio man and blogger of notes = “Close eyes and dance dance dance to the radio......”. did he write this or did he quote this “There is no try there’s only do”. Greg wrote our piece on Miss Yucki.http://radiodeconstruction.blogspot.com/

Born and bred in Johannesburg, Che unfortuantely did not come with an instruction manual when she arrived, so her parents really winged it with raising her. She was taught how to be a ninja so she has a black belt in Party-Ka-rate, and is a make-up artist and part-time model . Oh, and she also loves pie. Che did our beauty section.

With a BA degree in film stud-ies and media & writing for the University of Cape Town, Jerusha writes and models in her free time. She works at Exclusive Books as a book slave, but this is just to pay the bills. Her true passion is creating! Jerusha interviewed our cover girl.

This little firecracker is multi-talanted - she owns KITTY KAT MAKEUP & STYLING and is the brand manager for EMILY THE STRANGE in SA. She has previ-ous experience on shoots for magazines and film and she is tiny! Tamara orchestrated our Miss Happ shoot, being involved in every aspect (that’s why it looks so good!). She also wrote a special column, Kitty Kat’s Tips. www.suicidegirls.com/girls/ LaTara

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Dave is a very opinionated copywriter, who got himself a job at a very prestigeous com-pany (that shall remain name-less). Dave loves beer. And punk rock. And not much else. Dave now has his own VIXXEN col-umn, The Comings and Goings of the Asshole Your Mother Told You About.http://assholeyourmothertoldyouabout.blogspot.com/

Abel is a genius with live bands, and with, erm, drinking. He loves all kinds of music and can be spotted at gigs with a cam-era in hand. He recently got a fish-eye lens and is rocking the photo taking. He likes martial arts, anime and OPPIKOPPI. He also has a bit of an obsession with DIE ANTWOORD. Abel shot the amazing pic-tures for our feature on Submachine.

Every now and then Joe Doe wanders through a door into the real world, where she tends to keep nor-mality at bay with a magical paintbrush, a soul-catching camera and sometimes even just a humble pencil. She tends to find the exit very quickly. Joe shot the Submachine & The Otherwise gig.

Clair has been in the sespit of the music business for longer than she cares to admit.But she loves it. For her, music is a calling and a passion. She helps run an indepen-dent record label, rants for magazines, and is, by her own admission, a general media whore. Clair wrote Punk In Afrika, and The Female Head-shaving Association.

Dr-Benway uses photogra-phy and image manipulation to evoke fantasies varyingfrom glamour, pin-up to hor-ror. Not rooted to a specific style, he is constantly broad-ening his horizons. Over thepast few years he has in-cluded film directing to his broadening palette of skills, partnering with talented director Ronnie Belcher to produce award-winning independent art films such as KiTTY KiLL and Emma-Õ, under theauspices of Black Milk Productions. Dr-Benway shot our cover and Sonja’s feature this month.

Dylan Ellis is an ex-tremely passionate producer, record-ing and Mixing engineer based in both Johannesburg, South Africa and Media City, Dubai. He has been in the Music Industry for just over a decade now. He has workedwith over 100 bands and artists and in the last few years has produced, engineered and mixed nu-merous number 1 and top 10 hit singles on almostevery radio station in South Africa, and has won awards for his song writing. Dylan co-wrote the Submachine article.

8 AUGUST 2010

As profitless punks a bunch of muscicians and organis-ers have decided that it is in everyones best interests that they start throwing parties and shows that could somehow, reignite and revisit the Glory Days of Jozi City Punk.

All the bands have a agreed to jam for free to hit the cause, and pretty much do their bit to get the rehab of our scene into motion.

Cover is only 10 bucks, which is a bargain for this kind of lineup, in order to try cover sound and any other profits on top are going toward free fuck-ing beer!!!

Mark Misconduct will be running his oh-so-noteworthy ‘Drunk Punk Olympics’ where everyone will be encouraged to get their asses into the comp and just get drinking in whatever activities he comes up with this time...

The Line Up is as follows:

17h00 - The Spitting Nuns (Accoustic Set)18h00 - Pistol Whip 4519h00 - Shots Fired20h00 - Swivel Foot21h00 - Gross Misconduct22h00 - The Mean Streets23h00 - Misled

Following on from the epic success of the last Once Again party, Chris and Evan give you, out of the kindness of their hearts, something to cheer you on a weekend when others are at Oppi..

Presenting Shots Fired and Pistol Whip 45 at Johan-nesburg’s most beautiful venue, CCHQ.

R30 will see you in.

DO IT!Bloemfontein’s sickest alternative youth

festival is back in 2010 for round three. (OB)scenefest or The Bloemfontein Scene Fest 2010 will be bigger and better than the previous years with a line up to blow your hair back.

(OB)scenefest 2010 will be held over two days on the 24th and 25 of September 2010.

As usual tickets will be lank cheap and free camping will be included.

... A sweet new venue is being rigged and will offer safe parking, ample green grass for camping and more.

So mark your calenders for the 24th and 25th of September 2010 for a banging time.

Line up highlights include:- SWART MUSIEK- WRESTLERISH- CITY BOWL MIZERS- BLACK CAT BONE- TOUCHED BY NAUSEA- THE DEAD WILL TELL- HOG HOGGIDY HOG- MISLED- GO! GO! BRONCO- FACING THE GALLOWS- THE RAMBLING BONES

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10 AUGUST 2010

This Bootleg Album confirms that the realms of the “Blues Brothers” does in fact exist as do their clergy. Ever put in that disc without a cover and think what on earth did I just spend my R50 on? Well ‘bang bang bang baby’ and then some. This is the kind of music that makes you want to not only sing along but act out the lyrics at throttle so “START YOUR ENGINES” and if you lucky enough to get your hand on this rare bootleg that is well produced with an exceptional sound and 8 tracks that you just can’t break away from. Well all I can add to that other than five stars is DVBB deserves a round of tequila’s and applausefor shaking our tail feathers.

Combining elements of punk, ska, reggae, country and even jazz, the Mad Caddies’ music is a feast of genres. With 6 studio albums and 1 live record already to their credit the Mad Caddies realized it was high time to compile a list of favorites, which is exactly what they did with Consentual Selections. As a band strongly connected with their audience, they opted to let their fans choose which track to put on this album. weigh in on which tracks should appear on this collection by actually voting for their favorites. Not only is Consentual Selections a collection of 22 awesome hit songs, it also features 2 brand new tracks to boot. Essential listening for the diehards and new fans alike.

Initially meant to be part of their previous record, Invasion USA, these tunes stood out on their own and so were made into Tarantula. The album carries on with the great Foster/Schafer songwriting team, which has brought them so much fan appreciation in the past. Fun, easy listening.

Matt Skiba, lead singer for the Alkaline Trio delivers us a brand new solo release. All these songs were recorded over the course of 2009 in either Chicago or at Lohner Castle in Los Angeles (Skiba’s apartments) Everything was recorded by Matt Skiba using Garageband on an Mbox Mini. A very interesting offering by an amazing musi-cian.

Mad Sin return with their 13th album, which showcases the band’s diverse talents and proves they are more than “just” a rockabilly act. A feast for your ears, and one that will speak to more than just their diehard fanbase.

WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

Good Riddance have been together for over 16 years, and this is a collection of all a bunch of hit songs as well as six previously unreleased tracks. Not only does Capricorn One bring together a comprehensive assem-blage of every Good Riddance single, rarity, and unreleased track for the first time, it also features a commentary about each song written by lead singer Russ Rankin. A must have for the legions of Good Riddance fans, Capricorn One completes the band’s catalog and boasts a track list that will position it among their most acclaimed albums.

WORDS BY GEN TWOCO

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WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

The grotesque thriller introduces us to two characters, known only as She and He, whose lives are shat-tered when their toddler falls to his death from their apartment window due to their insufficient supervision of him. As they try to come to terms with their child’s death, they retreat to their cabin in the. At first all seems to go well and their sadness begins to heal. However, She soon begins behaving irrationally and the situation takes a turn for the worst. As she falls deeper into insanity, she carries out gruesome acts of destruction against herself and against He. This one is not for horror buffs who have seen it all before, as it follows a mould, but a must see for non-die-hard fans of the genre.

In this local thriller, Rex Dobson and Alice Edmonds find themselves stranded alongside the R106, a freeway just outside Johannesburg. Waiting for help, they are abducted by a masked mad-man who does unthinkable things to them. Both survive, but wish they hadn’t. As their stories unfold, it is clear that the truth of what happened that fateful day is far worse than anyone could imagine. Detective James Hirsch is on the case, and he throws the two into separate interrogation cells, while Hirsch questions them relentlessly. As Hirsch tries to figure out the events of what happened that day, different truths emerge. Definitely worth watching – props to the people behind this awesome local produc-tion.

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In a practical guide for young women who are ready to abandon their cubicles and carve out their own dreams, Good-man offers tools and tips for joining the DIY career club. . From “sussing out the gigs” to guidance on taxes and health insurance to battling “the inertia that binds one’s derriere to the sofa like a tongue to a frozen flagpole,” Goodman covers all the aspects of going solo. A must for anyone looking to make their way into the world of freelancing and unconventional work rules.

WORDS BY TINA KOULISHEVA

This book delivers and overview of the best artists in this subculture, includ-ing work from California, the Midwest, the East Coast, Mexico, Japan, the UK, Germany, Scandinavia, France, and Germany Author Julian Balme is a writer and art director for nu-merous Kustom Kulture magazines, creator of the famous London Calling cover for The Clash, a passionate racer of hot rods, and one of the foremost commentators on Kustom Kulture and Kustom Graphics. So who better to guide you through pages and pages of the kustom subculture’s art. Abolute eye candy that will inspire you for weeks.

The long-awaited autobiography of the guitarist, songwriter, singer, and founding member of the Rolling Stones. Undeni-ably, a true rock star, Keith has lived the dream for decades. Now, at last, the man himself tells his story of life, from listening to Chuck Berry and Muddy Waters records, learning guitar and forming a band with Mick Jagger and Brian Jones. The book chronicles all notable events in his life - his relationship with Anita Pallenberg, the death of Brian Jones, tax exile in France, crazy tours of the U.S., isolation and addiction. With his trademark disarming honesty, Keith Richard brings us the story of a life we have all longed to know more of, unapologetic, fearless, and true.

Parker, a veteran punk-rocker who lived briefly with Sid’s mother, is intimately acquainted with the musical and cultural scene that Sid Vicious dominated during his short life. This account fills in the gaps of John Simon Ritchie’s life, from his art-school days to the death of girlfriend Nancy Spun-geon to his drug overdose at 21. Follow the account of his short life and tragic fall, in Parker’s brilliant, hu-mourous, yet sad voice. Includes a foreword by Malcolm McLaren himself, as well as interviews with Sid’s mother and others close to the tragic star.

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20 AUGUST 2010

Good morning, good day, good afternoon and good evening bastard children of The Man. I greet you in the written word on this most auspicious of occasions, to vent about the piss poor form of print consumables entering homes all over the world. My hope is to help a few million fellow humans to seize failing at life. The quality of content they publish in most magazines these days is definitely worth less than the farmed ev-ergreen trees (remember those things that give us oxygen so we can breathe and fuck up things even more? Well, them) they cut down, pulp and turn into paper.

And yes, I know, given the nature of the publications, they are intended to cater to the masses because, funnily enough, every-one prefers more money to less money. This is obviously something we can all appreci-ate but in this circumstance something I cannot abide by. This is not Sparta. This is ridiculous.

Go to the café or quick shop where you buy your heavily taxed cigarettes and have a look at the covers of these ‘popular’ magazines that infiltrate your loving home better than ninja pedophiles with the budget and know how of the U.S. military. This corner stop literature will be flooded with headlines like “10 new ways to roll her eyes back and send her to the moon” and “5 ways to take charge and blow his mind”. I’m not completely disputing this sort of advice, especially the first time it is given, but perhaps I shall dispute this kind of advice the 87694th time it’s given. Every month, they rewrite the headline, recycle the article and publish it again. People of earth, if you don’t know you to please your woman or man after reading the same article over and over and over, I would say that it’s time to give up because if you need to consult a construction manual every month, let’s just

say Hotrod MacDaddywagon isn’t the name printed on your driver’s license. And I do apologize for revealing this shocking truth, but genitalia don’t come with a leaflet from the parent company, just in case you have been worried because you couldn’t find yours.

It’s not just the intimacy articles that grate my nipples. It seems that, prior to the age of repetition; everyone in the print indus-try met at someone’s house, smoked the worst weed in the world and worked on the first issue. After this, unless my world-class deductions are incorrect, they went their separate ways and continued to regurgitate this vile vomit in different, but not so many, words. It seems that global thesaurus has never been fist fucked so hard in human his-tory. In fact, I submit to you to today that the thesaurus was created for the sole purpose of satisfying the little midget ginger bicthlet that is the commercial print industry. Then, along came some smart mother fucker with the exceptional idea, which was and still is a popular one, to throw some fecal matter into the giant pond of money. And the reac-tion, you ask?

“Look, everybody! There’s some shit! Let’s buy some and eat it up!”

Another common theme in these rags we worship is weight loss. “Wow, Mandy! You look stunning! How did you lose so much weight?”

The reply should naturally be, and I quote the acclaimed writer of Shit My Dad Says: “How the fuck do you think I lost weight? I exercised and didn’t eat shit.” Revolutionary advice, indeed. And again, this article has been written and rewritten since people discovered animals were made of meat. All kinds of weight loss untruths from this recovering bulimic movie star and that methamphetamine addicted musician. Ob-

viously, if they were to endorse to the world the real ways they lost weight, there would need to be a global intervention. Picture it. Step one, construct a high protein and low carbohydrate diet. “Step two, throw up what you just ate. Step three, grip a light bulb, throw in some crystal and crank that butane lighter on high. Enjoy being gorgeous.”

Every diet has its pros and cons. Using this one, while making you thin in weeks, may leave you with very little teeth enamel, broken wrists from over-zealous high fives and tearing your skin off your own face. Jesus wept for the world, and not knowing how to console the big man, I offered him a Kleenex, alas I did not have enough. He used the centre spread of Cosmo.

It has been scientifically proven that the world is becoming less and less intelligent. The popular school of thought on this is based on cretins fornicating with each other and producing offspring that bears the same genes. While this is probably true , I would like to say that by filling your mind with the garbage these tabloids spew out is not helping.

So, let’s recap. Here’s a medium, that has become the

more popular than books, created and sus-tained by a collective of like-minded morons that tell you exactly what you know already about eating, losing weight, intimacy and much more of the same.

Don’t be a dumb shit. Boycott magazines. If you must read, read something respect-

able and if you cant do that I’m sure you can find some form of decent literature on the Internet ;)

FOLLOW DAVE’S BLOG:http://assholeyourmothertoldyouabout.blogspot.com/

WORDS BY DAVE SAN PAULO

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WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLEO BLACK

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WORDS BY CLEO BLACK | PHOTOGRAPHY BY CAMILLA ROSE

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First to grace the stage with their gor-geous young presences were the Stella’s... four boys with boots, wideneck shirts and bad ideas. With the youngest in the band being 17, and the oldest being 20, The Stel-las are anything but easily intimidated; aside from the fact that girls behave like Elvis is on stage when the bassist puts his foot up on the monitor and makes that face, these kids are seriously talented and undoubtedly hold their own (and then some) when sharing a stage with far more experienced musicians. Keep an eye on this lot...

A few vodkas later it was time for a group... nay, a gathering of some of the country’s best (and most insane) musicians; The Death Valley Blues Band. Without a doubt one of my very favourite local bands, the cats and kittens of Death Valley once again blew everybody’s brains out with their particular brand of bluesy, rockabil-lyish, dirty and undeniably sexy rock. To look at vocalist and guitarist Kevin S. Flee, you would likely think to yourself, “What a loon...” and you wouldn’t be far off base. But, as history shows us, people at the top of their fields of expertise are usually a tad cooked. Kevin and the Death Valley Blues Band are no exception... but the slight hint of madness in every chord and lyric makes everything so much more fun.

Cortina Whiplash aren’t a band I’ve pai-dextremely close attention to in the past, to be honest... for no other reason except

that I just haven’t made it to a lot of their shows. Female bands aren’t my bag, in general... but let me tell you in no uncer-tain terms that my mind was made up in favour of the extremely ballsy gals at this gig. Cortina Whiplash tend more towards a classic sound than any of the bands that played that evening, setting them apart from the first song. As I said, girls in bands aren’t usually my thing... unfortunately for the entire female gender, most female musicians aren’t up to scratch. I say that as a female musician, and a seriously picky music listener. The Cortina ladies however, are three of the rare excep-tions to the rule: as well as being skilled in guitar, drums and bass and having some swell pipes to boot, they’re great to watch and easy on the eyes. If their per-formance at the launch is anything to go by, then Queen Hyena is an album that you all want to lay your hands on ASAP.

Last, but by no means least, were the undisputed rock n roll kings of the greater JHB area, The Slashdogs. At any Slashdogs gig not only do you get to get sweaty, more than likely punched or kicked somewhere where the bruises last for weeks and listen to some sweet tunes, but you have a reason to stare at frontman and lead vocalist Ryan... who is well worth staring at. As always, The Slashdogs banged out tune after tune of raw musical experi-ence, and kept the crowd begging for more.

All in all, Cortina Whiplash put together a sexy as hell rock n roll show. Congrats to the girls on a well organised and seriously enjoyable night, and thanks for giving us an excuse to get our drink on once again. Not that we need an excuse…

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In between touring Europe and such, the Mochines, the Cape Town based band, pro-vided a night for remembering all the things that we love about good ‘ol rock’n’roll: loud, fast, unassuming, pure musical talent mixed up with a show that got everyone to forget about their day’s, most probably, dreary problems.

The performance aspect of it all was something to take in, these boys sure know how to throw a party, and how to drink with the crowd after a show, reinforcing their roots of what it means to be in a rock band, which most bands in the scene today have lost, along with the sensation of their feet due to far too tight jeans.

Lead guitarist and vocalist Ross Kersten,

heads up the show with vocals that pour out passion for his music, like the sound of a V8 American muscle car classic: all power and little regard for the next day. The band puts out a sound that can only be recognised as pure. Straight to the point, no arsing about musical talent, that reminded everyone who was there, what live music is supposed to be about, blood sweat and rock n roll.

Being a ‘newbie’ to The Mochines-having only heard their recorded material, I had not known what to expect from the guys. But after seeing a group of musicians do what they do best, kicking ass and taking names, I walked away from the show a definite fol-lower, and inspired to get my hands on as much of their material as possible.

WORDS AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY CAMERON RICHARDS

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gig review

28 AUGUST 2010

Greg, Harry, London and Chris are 4 kids who know a little something about the boogie. VIXXEN is hardly a stranger to the groovy sounds of The Otherwise, so it was no surprise that when they eventually got back here to launch their cd, we were first in line to get into the show. Tanz Cafe, The Bohemian, CCHQ and Cool Runnings Victory Park were the venues of choice for the alcohol abuse, tree climbing, all night danc-ing and general insanity that follows the band wherever they go. Joburg-ers are usually more than equal to any challenges that a Durbanite can present...this time round though,

Jozi made rather a poor showing of themselves for the first two nights of the tour. There was, of course, the above referred to drunken tree climbing incident, but aside from that, Tanz Cafe and the Bohemian (with fellow Durban band Kissed By Katie and JHB locals The One Night Stands) were relatively quiet shows. Thursday night at CCHQ in Primrose (With Kissed by Katie), however, was rather sexy if I do say so myself. Greg’s indie-ish vocals and Harry’s mad shredding skills got the whole club up and shimmying to The Otherwise’s 5fm hit, and cd title track “She Doesn’t Care, She Wants

to Dance”. Let’s not forget bassist, and one of my all time favourite midgets, London, and the man with the tasty beats, drummer Chris, who played like their lives (or at least their petrol money) depended on it. The Next day, with everyone slightly worse for wear, was the Muso’s show, followed on Saturday by the bands last JHB appearance for the tour, Cool Runnings Victory park, with voodoo Gods, Submachine.

Submachine are a band not easily overpowered – their tunes are slick and their performance is out of this world. On this particular night, they incorporated sexy dancers into their

WORDS BY CLEO BLACK & TINA KOULISHEVA | PHOTOGRAPHY BY JOE DOE

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set, that made me wish I had taken belly dancing lessons. They decorated the stage with their own camo net, and came complete with their mascot, the Voodoo Man. I think it’s fair to say that this was Submachine’s best gig to date.

So, as The Otherwise took to the stage, I was a little worried if they could outdo what Submachine had going on just minutes before. It would be totally unfair to compare the two bands, as they are both very different and equally good, but The Otherwise stood their ground and delivered an out of this world performance, that got everyone shaking their ass to the tunes!

Nobody knows why, but The Other-wise still haven’t had enough of JHB. Keep an eye out for them during the rest of the year... because JHB DEFINIT-LY hasn’t had enough of The Otherwise either.

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WORDS BY GEN TWOCO & DYLAN ELLIS | PHOTOGRAPHY BY ABEL SCHOLTZ

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MissYucki is Alba Poretti and Kath-leen Cameron. Their work straddles an assorted range of artistic output including illustration, accessory and character design.

Alba and Kat met while studying Fine Arts at the University of the Witwa-tersrand in Johannesburg in 1999. With a shared love of design and all things sparkly, cute and yucki they began working together in 2004 on the Miss Yucki project.

Using Johannesburg as their inspira-tion and launch pad they have em-barked on numerous intercontinental adventures and have shown their work in South Africa, Mozambique, the USA, France, Japan, Barcelona and beyond.

Kat is currently living in Barcelona, studying Spanish and working as a freelance illustrator. She has worked for the Barcelona Metropolitan Magazine and has been represented by the Lon-don based creative agency Advocate Art. Kat has illustrated several children’s books and her work is often

published.Alba completed a degree in Fashion

studies from Parsons the New School for Design in New York in 2009 and currently lives in San Francisco. Alba has worked as a freelance print - textile designer and works full time as an apparel and accessory illustrator and game artist for the leading social gam-ing company, Zynga.

MissYucki is a creative cute and creepy Pageant Power girl created by Alba and Kathleen back in 2003 in the grimy back streets of Braamfontein, Johannseburg South Africa where she is steeped in African folklore and is a street-wise savvy pavement Jo’burg Princess.

Since then she has featured in many

an adventure and is jealously guarded and protected by her guardians: the Muti Masters and her Magic Trolley.

Her ultimate ambition is to be crowned queen of all the little miss beauty pageants.

There is a Chinese art project AND an illustrated book in the making, something to make ALL of you happy and excited as it does me.

Alba was recently visiting us in Johannesburg from San Francisco and I caught up with the sparklingly delightful and ridiculously talented vixxen that is Alba and asked her a few questions.

Hi Alba, what have you been up to since you left our shores?

It has been a whirlwind of adventure

and hard work. I went back to school in 2008 and did a graduate degree in Fashion Studies at Parsons the New School for Design in New York. I didn’t sleep for over a year but it was the most super incredible experience.

After graduation I moved to San Francisco where I now live and work. I work as a fashion illustrator for the social gaming company Zynga and I live in a cute little house on top of a grand hill.

You have been out away for so long,

how has MissYucki evolved since you have been away, do you take inspira-tion from your current locale or do you solely base everything around your experiences in Johannesburg and around African culture?

Miss Yucki is constantly evolving,

that is the nature of the project. It

grows as we do. Neither Kat or I have time to work on MissYucki as a full time venture but we add it whenever possible and continue to build on the narrative and creative works. Mis-sYucki takes its core inspiration from our experiences of Johannesburh and African folklore in general but we do not limit our inspiration to just that. More broadly we are influenced by the wonders of our innuemrable travels, urban chaos, technology, anthropol-ogy, glitter, dreams and magic.

Is it difficult not living in the same

city as Kathleen and how do you col-laborate?

It is certainly not ideal living apart

from Kat. She is my best friend and favourite artist. Kat currently lives in Barcelona and we have been separated by our global adventuring since 2004.

Over the years we have had to adapt to the distances in space and time that divide us and thanks to the wonders of fast fast internets we have successfully been able to remain in very regular contact and continue to work together.

We chat on skype often and share digital illustrations which we upload for each other. So, even though we are not physically together we can both collaborate on digital work and share ideas.

What is your Pageant Power Phi-

losophy? Bedazzle at all times.! Glitter, Dress

up , Disco and well chosen Muti all help enhance the experience.

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Is MissYucki still a Sangoma in train-ing or has she become a fully fledged Sangoma?

That is an excellent question JMis-

sYucki has been in training for a few years now and while her muti mani-festing skills and Pageant Power have grown tremendously she still has more work to do before she is a fully fledged intergalactic Sangoma extrodinaire.

MissYucki lives in a dangerous

world, how does she manage to sur-vive? Are there any plans to develop the story further?

She survives primarily because she

has a team of very shrewd guardians, the Muti Monsters. They saved her from a dismal existence on the streets by taking her into their gang. They have been teaching her the ways of muti manifesting, dream traveling and divi-nation and through this careful groom-ing she has risen above danger . She now thrives in the gloom and grit.

Is MissYucki still available, if so

where? Indeed! One can always find a few

MissYucki items available in our shop on our website, www.missyucki.com. We are also available for custom orders and are currently stocking the lovely design store Entropy, in the Bamboo centre in Melville, with our illustration prints .

Are you working in anything excit-

ing currently to take MissYucki further, maybe appeal to a more global mar-ket?

We are currently participating in a

project with a Chinese art/ design book publisher. Through this project Mis-sYucki wil be featured in an illustration book that will be distributed through-out Asia. The book will be out towards the end of the year.

When’s the next Trolley Trash

Treaure Hunt? Those Trolley Trash were the best fun.

We cannot wait to bedazzle every-one with part 3. Right now there are no concrete plans for the event but we would love love to do another one in the near future. I will keep you posted on developments.

What made you start MissYucki

and where do you see it taking you, ie what are your next steps?

MissYucki was born in 2003. Kat

and I had just finished our Fine Arts degrees and we wanted to collabo-rate on some kind of creative project together. We started with random doodles and began exploring our experiences of Johannesburg. What resulted was the beginning of a charcter concept that embodied our love of all things cute and all things creepy. The concept has evolved

greatly over time and ultimately we would love to publish an illustrated MissYucki story book. That is our next significant goal.

Away from MissYucki, you are now

working in America, doing illustra-tions for PetVille, tell us a little more about that.

While I work for Zynga, I actually

work on a game called PetVille. It is owned by the same company that produces FarmVille but is a separate franchise. I am the game’s fashion il-lustrator.

PetVille is a social game on facebook and it involves building a world and decorating and interacting with your friends through your virtual pet avatar.

I create all the fashion apparel and accessories for the game. Everything is rendered digitally and we sell these virtual items to game players.

Its an awesome job. I work with a very talented team of artists and de-velopers and I get to draw cute outfits, bows and sparkles all day. I love it!

Thank you Alba, and MissYucki,

head on over to http://www.mis-syucki.com where you can find more of her Tales and Adventures and you can go and join her on her Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/missyucki

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WORDS BY CLAIR CANTEL | STOCK PHOTOS BY GOTHICJADE STOCK & KATLOVESTOCK ON DEVIANT ART

Once upon an article there was a little place of worship called the Aberlarde Sanction. This parable and tallish-story is about the infamous ‘Female Head-shaving Association’, a ritual and sacred passage performed by the congrega-tion. The Aberlarde’ as it was fondly dubbed by its indoctrinated, was lead by a preacher and purveyor of blind-ingly good home-made Vodka and cold Black Labels. This little place of worship became the Brixton holy ground of strange and wonderful delights. Free thinkers and thieves could witness, bless and be blessed. “The Aberlarde’ - where miracles happen”, they used to say.

Hidden within The Aberlarde’s sacred texts was the ritual of the females sacri-ficing their locks. Gathering at ordained times in this sacred place, and for the sacred purpose of being shorn - the females exposed to the world would surrender to the clipper-god. Oh the congregation did bless the females. The air sometimes got so tense and the energy so high one could hardly breathe during the ritual - the beautiful trance was something holy books and articles are made of. The tranformation from murkiness to light, the opposite of baptism - an aesthetic rebirth. The females that feared the ritual soon felt safe, for the ritual was not amputation as they had been taught, but a blessing of the highest order.

All the females in the FHA went through this right of passage at least once. Some females never shed again, and others kept their heads shorn for years after, knowing the effect of this powerful experience. Powerful also were the image of the faces of their fellow females that stared back at them and so astonishing for the females to see themselves - it was a double bless-ing. So they followed and it was good. This is what the little house of worship encouraged the females among them to do, so it is written in the Gospels of Taz Vilinius.

There were some in opposition to this cathartic tranformation ritual that the little house of worship practiced with its free thinkers - the FHA females stood their ground in the bloodly battlefield of social religion. TOPHAT the oppos-

ing congregation were steadfast in the practice of forbidding their women to wear their hair shorn. They scared the women with terrible stories and accounts of the social disgrace and ugli-ness that would befall them -

TOPHAT 3. 17-67 “ ..the power of a woman is in her hair, shorn women are sinners against the hair-god and be-come ugly, damn them to social hell!”

These teachings did not strike a favourable chord with FHA congrega-tion who were loving and free - it was a choice to believe, never an obligation based in fear.

The men and women of TOPHAT said it went against their hair-god’s com-mandment, they knew the true god, they had worshipped at the altar and given their god billions of rands a year. Surely they must be justified and surely hair was sacred?! The Female Head-shaving Association was blasphemous! Repent and regrow! TOPHAT demand-ed. Their three-step plan would save the FHA from damnation, and would keep the females loved and favoured by the gods, should they surrender to regrowth.

What saddened the mem-bers of the little house of worship was that the females from TOPHAT could not sup-port their sisters, and would discriminate, even damn them to a life of being told they were ugly and periods in social hell, of the many levels their social religions spoke of - the consequence was the FHA turned away from TOPHAT. Infuriated, TOPHAT called a ‘Holy War’ against the little house of worship and the FHA were left with little option, they laid low for some years and went underground. Virtually disappearing.

This is what makes this parable so interesting, recently we have seen traces of them rising up again - the preachers are preaching again, they are preaching

the purity of the FHA and congrega-tions are listening.

Exactly as the prophesies predicted, “The day will come when women will walk head held high, clean and beauti-ful! The day will come when women of the world will rise up and explore a side of their beauty as women have never been allowed to do in the social religions of the hair god. In a loud clear voice women will stand up and say, BE BOLD, BE BEAUTIFUL , be blessed, oh on that day. Amen!”

Now you have to decide - are you regrowth - or shorn... on which side of the fence are you?

VISIT THE PAGE ON MYTHICAL FACE-BOOK AND DECIDE ON YOUR GOD -PRAISE AND CLIPPERS EVENTS COM-ING SOON. “THE FEMALE HEAD-SHAVING ASSOCIATION” CONTACT CLAIR@ONEFMUSIC.COM FOR FURTHER INFORMATION.

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This is a call of arms to all the Punk Rockers, Psychos, Crusties, Rockos, and Rude Boys of South Africa. You know who you are, we are the Alternate Un-derground. We are a small scene but the time has come to make something of ourselves. We can no longer sit around waiting for things to happen, we do not have the infrastructure that the European and American scenes have. We lack record labels that specifically deal with our genres. We have no radio stations that will play our songs unless we water them down to drively pop puke. Our live music venues are slowly being closed down. Something has to be done. So this is what I propose.

To all of you who have instruments, pick them up and start forming bands, for it is the music that gets the crowds to the shows. And right now there is a serious lack of bands going around. We need fresh blood. If this doesn’t hap-pen then the scene will fizzle out again. I’ve noticed a trend in the underground scene, but I may stand corrected. But thinking back to about 2002 – back when The Stevie Wonderfuls were still around – the scene was alive and kick-ing, and then it kind of disappeared for a bit, Fuzi, Rocka, The Slahdogs and the Hogs were still going, but that was about it. And then that gig happened at The Blues Room, Leek’s reunion show a couple of years later and the scene bounced back into action. Around 2006 there was a huge surge of new bands -Japan and I, Highway Casino, The Ko-smonauts, Death Valley to name a few all started making waves and suddenly the scene was alive and pumping again. That slump in the middle, I rate, was due to a decline in bands. And that’s something that I don’t want to see hap-pen again. But right now there aren’t

a lot of new projects hitting the scene – and without them we have nothing. So form bands, get playing. If you don’t know how to get shows email bands that are playing and asked to get put on the bill as an opening act. Nobody is going to refuse.

To all of you interested in sound – perfect your art. As a musician I’m tired of shit sound on and off stage at shows. Not to mention badly recorded demos. It does no justice to the bands and thus further detriments the scene. If the music sounds crap then nobody is go-ing to come listen to it. This ties in with the serious lack of money that clubs put into their sound systems. They don’t seem to see the necessity of it, but if it’s the bands that draw the crowds and the crowds that keep the clubs going then these sound issues need to be sorted out pronto.

As for lack of venues, start your own or get creative. We don’t need to stick to playing the same venues over and over and over again. Look at what the Flaming Lips did – having illegal parties in underground parking lots. I’m not saying break the law, I’m just saying we don’t need to take the conventional route when it comes to where to play. There are oodles of rad spots in South Africa – go out and find them.

To event organisers, what the fuck happened to good old flyers? I’m sick of Facebook invites – all that does is perpetuate the same circle of people getting the same group of bands send-ing them invites about the same events. It does nothing to increase awareness of the scene. Go back to littering the streets with flyers. If you’re complaining about not making any money at shows, barely enough to pay the sound engi-neers let alone the bands then you’re

not promoting your events properly. Facebook can only do so much, and it’s not enough.

To all guys and gals with cameras and fingers for writing: take photos, write, film, and document. Without documen-tation the underground will remain just that, a memory in a couple of people’s pasts. We are worth more than that. We are a scene of highly creative and talented individuals and I know for a fact most of us would prefer to make our livings doing what we love instead of selling our souls to the corporate. So make music videos for your friends, design album art, flyers, start ‘zines, and blogs. The internet is your friend. Look at what viral marketing did for Die Antwoord and Jack Parow. We have the means to get our products out there; it just takes a little bit of dedication and commitment. Create your own market, or tap into the international ones.

If we want to live the kind of lifestyle that we love, and we do. And we find ourselves in the situation where our resources are limited we shouldn’t get down hearted, we should create ourselves, we have the means to do so. So to all of you in the Alternate Underground – get busy! There’s a lot to be done, but its well worth the effort. Stand together. When you’re feeling down and it seems like there is no hope just remember the words of the great Jay Bones: “This is my scene, this is my cause.”

WORDS BY CAMILLA ROSE

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How can I be so sure? Because obesity has become a global epidemic with an estimated 1.3 billion people overweight or obese. It has been discovered that a whopping 56% of South African women (of which 10% are aged between 15-24) are over weight or obese. Many, and I even think its fair to say that ALL women have issues with their weight at atleast one stage in their lives. Next time you see a fat person, take into consideration how easy it is to gain weight nowadays. In fact, studies show that the brain responds to junk food in the way it does to heroin. Whack, isn’t it? To think that your snack-time choccie is the equivalent to a class-a drug? Well, believe it or not it’s a fact, so take a moment to allow second thoughts before you reach for that big, juicy burger.

The terms “overweight” and “obesity” refer to a person’s overall body weight and whether it’s too high. Overweight is hav-ing extra body weight from muscle, bone, fat, and/or water. Obesity is having a high amount of extra body fat. The most useful measure of overweight and obesity is body mass index (BMI). Obesity is defined as a body mass index (BMI) of over 30 kg/m2.

What causes obesity? There are many factors that can cause obesity, some of them include: An inactive lifestyle because people who are inactive are more likely to gain weight as they do not burn up the calories that they take in from food and

drinks. Your chances of being overweight are greater if one or both of your parents are overweight or obese and therefore, through genes and family history. Some hormone problems may cause overweight and obesity, such as underactive thyroid Cushing’s syndrome, and polycystic ovarian syndrome. Certain medicines may cause you to gain weight. These medicines include some corticosteroids, antidepressants, and seizure medicines. Some people eat more than usual when they’re bored, angry, or stressed. Over time, overeating will lead to weight gain and may cause overweight or obesity. Some people gain weight when they stop smoking. One reason is that food often tastes and smells better after quit-ting smoking. As you get older, you tend to lose muscle, especially if you’re less active. Muscle loss can slow down the rate at which your body burns calories. If you don’t reduce your calorie intake as you get older, you may gain weight. During pregnancy women gain weight so that their babies get proper nourishment and develop normally. After giving birth, some women find it hard to lose the weight. This may lead to overweight or obesity, especially after a few pregnan-cies. Studies find that the less people sleep, the more likely they are to be overweight or obese, and these are just the main reasons, if I had to include them all we’d be able to fill the entire mag! With so many causes, is it really so shocking that the obesity rates are

so high?There are so many health risks when it

comes to being obese it’s scary! Here are a few: obese people run the risk of cardiovas-cular disease due to the fat deposits around the internal organs and especially the heart and lungs, and Pulmonary diseases and di-lapidated function of the respiratory system due to increased stresses to move the chest. They are also in risk of having Heart disease and stroke because overweight people are twice as likely to have high blood pressure than people who are not overweight.Over-weight people are more than twice as likely to develop type II diabetes.Also, gallbladder disease and gallstones are more common if you are overweight. Ostheoarthritis is a common joint condition that most often affects the knee, hip and lower back joints. Gout, an increased level of uric acid within the body causes this. Several types of cancer can be associated with being overweight. In women, these include cancer of the uterus, gallbladder, cervix, ovary, and colon. Women may have menstrual abnormalities due to being overweight or obese.Sleep apnea is a serious breathing condition that is associ-ated with being overweight. It can cause a person to snore heavily and to stop breath-ing for short periods during sleep

Obesity is a serious condition and it can be life threatening, however, it can be prevented! How? By following these few simple steps such as following a healthy

WORDS BY OLIVIA MIKRUT | STOCK POTOGRAPHY BY OSSORISSTOCK ON DEVIANT ART

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lifestyle can help you prevent overweight and obesity. Many lifestyle habits begin during childhood. Follow a healthy eating plan. Make healthy food choices, keep your calorie needs and your family’s calorie needs in mind, and focus on the balance of energy IN and energy OUT. Watch the portion sizes, especiually in fast food and other restau-rants. Be active, make personal and family time active. Limit the use of TVs, comput-ers, DVDs, and videogames because they limit time for physical activity. Keep track of your weight, body mass index, and waist circumference.

If you are already obese, do not be mistaken, it is not too late! Obesity can be treated! For long-term weight-loss success, it’s important for you and your family to make lifestyle changes: Focus on balancing energy IN (calories from food and drinks) and energy OUT (physical activity), Follow a healthy eating plan,Learn how to adopt healthy lifestyle habits. Cutting back on cal-ories (energy IN) will help you lose weight. A healthy eating plan gives your body the nutrients it needs every day. It has enough calories for good health, but not so many that you gain weight.Being physically ac-tive and eating fewer calories will help you lose weight and keep weight off over time. Changing your behaviors or habits related to food and physical activity is important for losing weight. A record of your food intake and the amount of physical activity that you do each day will help inspire you. Ask for help or encouragement from your friends, family, and health care provider. Reward your success for meeting your weight-loss goals or other achievements with some-thing you would like to do, not with food. Weight-loss medicines approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) may be an option for some people. Weight-loss surgery may be an option for people who have extreme obesity (BMI of 40 or more) when other treatments have failed. Weight-loss surgery also is an option for people who have a BMI of 35 or more and life-threaten-ing conditions. However, with a lot of hard work and dedication, you can avoid having to go through all that extra trouble.

Oh and guys, please remember that fat people have feelings too!

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