Vol. 10, Issue 5 April 29, 2011 (Finals are next week!)

Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 On the Internet @ Ramdiculous.com

This paper’s front cover has

been cancelled due to cutbacks

on campus.

But on the plus side, the CHP

now has a rock climbing wall.

2

Quote of the Week

Most of the staff attempts to write one article

By the Ramdiculous Staff Horace was walking

through the woods one

sunny summer day. The

air was warm and the

grass smelled good. Up

ahead he saw a rabbit.

The rabbit was no ordi-

nary rabbit, however. He

was tall and grey and

munching on a carrot as

Horace approached. "'Ey

Doc," he said, "You uh,

know how to get to Tulsa

from here? I tink I took a

wrong turn in Albuquer-

que."

Suddenly, there was a

bright flash and a meteor

fell from the sky. A hiss

and a puff of smoke came

from the crater, and from

it emerged…

Bacon. Nice crispy ba-

con. A pile as high as an

elephant's eye.

An elephant's eye that

suddenly expanded and

became its own planet

full of life and wonder,

and of course Ramdicu-

lous things.... and on

this new planet there

were…

Hordes of A-list ce-

lebrities. Horace could-

n't comprehend the

magnitude of everyone

on one planet looking

like they were on a red

carpet, and the intense

complexity

tickled his

brain. "My

God!" cried

Horace. "It's

f u l l o f

stars!" Then

s o m e o n e

tapped him

o n t h e

s h o u l d e r ,

and Horace

t u r n e d

around.

He woke up

after hopping off the

plane at LAX, with a

dream and his cardigan.

Here he was, the land of

fame excess. Oh, and it's

also Friday.

The Ramdiculous Staff is a special contributor to the Ramdiculous Page,

and a bunch of goobers. Regardless, we love them anyway.

Vol. 10, Issue 5 Something to read during finals

R A M D I C U L O U S   P A G E   P O L I C Y Published every other Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters, tweets, and other such nonsense. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned, EVER. Submit your letters, articles, and/or favorite thing about the honors program via our email, page@ramdiculous.com, or our website, www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or MySpace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles. Also, happy end of semester. Have a safe summer, ok? 

Top Editor Bryce J. Parsons

Artists and Writers The Usual Ramdiculists & Goons

I get knocked down, but I get up again You’re never gonna keep me down

“Lake Naswor-thy done did me dirty!” -Keith Greer-May

This is how we think it happened.

3

the incredible question

Ram of the Week: Robert Thompson “YOU SILLY GIRL, I’M NOT BRITISH!!” Robert’s asinine comments are why we picked him. Not only is he sar-

castic, but he is hilarious. Plus, he is a stud muffin. He has the coolest glasses EVER! And don’t get

me started on his shoes—they are BLAZIN AMAZIN. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him ‘round campus without khaki pants (not that he won’t wear other ones, but that is like only if the world is on fire and you’ve put a gun to his head), He’s quick witted, and his silver forked tongue PUTS HIM UP THERE ON THE SAME LEVEL AS LAWYERS!

So yes, we love his pants, his devil-may-care attitude, his crappy mem-ory, and his sexy glasses.

Editor’s note: The Ram of the Week written by a girl this week. Not me.

I swear to God it wasn’t me. Pictured: This guy.

Word of the Day:

inscrutable (adj.): 1.) Difficult or impossible

to comprehend, fathom, or interpret.

(From Wiktionary)

DISC GOLF TOURNAMENT

April 30, 2011 @ 8:00 am In front of the University Center

1st Annual AAS Robert G. Carr, Sr. Fundraiser

For more info, contact Kirk Trevena at (325) 300-6942

4

Days Gone By... By Miss C. Boz

O’ the Glory Days of yore

When elementary was such a

bore

I’d sit in class

Upon my (ahem) bum

Stare at the clock

And watch the minutes pass.

Until it was time

To take a nap

Drink my juice

And eat my snack.

Then off to daycare

Where we played games and

stared

The rest of the day

At the TV

Oh Rugrats, why did you ever

leave?

Yarr?

Poetry Time.

Write or draw for us! Contact us at:

page@ramdiculous.com (P.S. For every article you write that gets published,

you get a $5 gift card. Who says no to money?)

Who’s This? Send us your

answer! Facebook.com/

ramdiculous Last answer: The Duck Hunt dog (Martha and Marcus got it right.)

Picture of the Week: Something you should know

Enlist in the U.S. Army, or a fascist gorilla will steal your girlfriend.

5

We are your voice, the voice of the Students of Angelo State.  Be heard, we would like to know what you love about ASU, what you hate about ASU and what you think needs to be changed around here.  We are here for 

YOU!  

If you have a comment, complaint, concern, or question, don’t hesitate to contact us.  Via email sga@angelo.edu, via phone  

(325) 942‐2063, via our suggestion box in the UC, in our office UC 133 or even come attend our meetings at 6 PM on Monday nights. 

ADVERTISE WITH US. If you would like your ad to appear in the

Ramdiculous Page, please contact us at ads@ramdiculous.com

Advertising Guidelines 1. Deadline for ads to be submitted is 1:00pm the Tuesday be-

fore publication. 2. Ads will be received only if they are complete. The Ramdicu-

lous Page will not create any ads. 3. Ad size will not exceed one-quarter of a page. 4. Organizations/events may have more than one ad, but no

organization/event will be allowed more than one-quarter of a page in ad space.

The Ramdiculous Page will not advertise for any off-campus event except in certain circumstances,* or anything of questionable nature. This includes but is not limited to: Alcohol drugs tobacco illegal activities *Exceptions to this rule will be determined by the staff of the Ramdiculous Page

 

Top Ten TV things that need to return

10.) Ren & Stimpy

9.) Garfield & Friends

8.) Captain Planet

7.) THE GOOD “Batman” with

Mark Hamill as the Joker…

Not “The Batman,” which is

pure poop.

6.) Hey Arnold!

5.) Legends of the Hidden Temple

4.) Hysteria

3.) Rescue 911 (We love Shatner.)

2.) MTV: Music Television… Back

when they actually played

music videos.

1.) The Justin Bieber Show

Mea culpa (My fault, in Latin) By Robert Thompson

The semester is winding

down and that means, among

other things, that people are

about to fail. It’s sad but it is

what it is.

The good news is that fail-

ure of any kind presents us

with opportunities to improve,

or at least to examine why

things happened the way they

did. Placing blame is an im-

portant part of this process. In

a perfect world, ASU wouldn’t

hire professors who would be

more qualified as pastry chefs,

but in a perfect world students

wouldn’t make mistakes ei-

ther.

This is not an abstract issue

for me because I am going to

fail Physics 1302, and I know

why. Dr. Wallace is a good

professor in every respect that

Laconic Trope of the Day

Tenchi Solution

TV Tropes will ruin your life. Read them at tvtropes.org.

“I can't choose! Can't I have

both?...Wait, I can!?”

By Thomas Nast SAN ANGELO, TX—A guy

going through a thrift store found

an 8-track tape on Wednesday,

according to eyewitnesses.

College undergrad Grady

McBunz was exploring the Good-

will secondhand store when he

happened upon the 8-track.

“It was a Boz Scaggs album,”

said McBunz, laughing. “How

could I say no to that?”

The find was a rarity because

most used 8-tracks in San Angelo

are of Marty Robbins and Percy

Faith.

“My grandmother listens to

Percy Faith,” said McBunz, before

skipping home daintily.

Dude finds a good 8-track tape

matters; friendly, engaging,

and knowledgeable. ASU has

its fair share of bad professors,

God knows I’ve met a few, but

he isn’t one of them.

I am reasonably sure that if I

asked for his help, he would

do whatever he could to get

me out of the whole that I

have dug for myself. But I

won’t ask and I would refuse if

he offered, because I don’t

deserve his help. I didn’t take

his class seriously enough and

I will pay for it come May

when the grades are locked in.

The good news is that I

know what I did wrong,

which means, at least in the-

ory, that I am less likely to

make the same mistake next

semester when I re-take the

class.

It is true that a man can do

everything right and still fail,

I’ve had my fair share of that

as well, but a man also accepts

responsibility for his mistakes.

Robert Thompson is the Ram-

diculous Page’s Mea Culpa Editor, and also Ram of the Week this week. Why? Be-cause I say so.

6

xkcd By Randall Munroe RAMDICULOUS SUDOKU Difficulty: 8 (Normal)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

MWF/MW 9:00 a.m. classes 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

MWF/MW 11:00 a.m. classes 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

MWF/MW 1:00 p.m. classes 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

MWF/MW/W 3:00 p.m. classes 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

MWF/MW/M 5:00 p.m. classes 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

MW/W 6:00 p.m. classes 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

TR/T 9:30 a.m. classes 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

TR/R 12:30 p.m. classes 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

T/R 1:30 p.m. classes 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

TR/R 3:30 p.m. classes 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

T/TR 4:00 p.m. classes 5:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.

T/TR 5:30 p.m. classes 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.

R 6:00 p.m. classes 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

TR 7:30 p.m. classes 7:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.

Monday, May 2, 2011

MWF/MW/M 8:00 a.m. classes 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

MWF/MW/M 10:00 a.m. classes 10:30 a.m. - 12:30

p.m.

MWF/MW/M 12:00 noon classes 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

MW/M/W 12:30 p.m. classes 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

MW 1:30 p.m. classes 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

MWF/MW /M 2:00 p.m. classes 3:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.

MWF/M/F 4:00 p.m. classes 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

MW/M 6:00 p.m. classes 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

TR 8:00 a.m. classes 8:00 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.

T/TR 10:00 a.m. classes 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

TR/T/R 11:00 a.m. classes 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

TR/T 1:00 p.m. classes 1:00 p.m. -3:00 p.m.

TR/T/R 2:00 p.m. classes 1:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.

TR/T /R 3:00 p.m. classes 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.

TR/T 5:00 p.m. classes 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

TR/T/R 6:00 p.m. classes 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

Spring 2011 Final Exam Schedule (We actually printed something useful!)

Solution to previous puzzle

xkcd

.co

m