Vol. 34 Issue 13 July 22, 2016

“All the News that’s Fit for Camp”Weekend Edition

Logo by Tallulah Reiser, 10.7

I’M GRIEVIN’ IT: The wreckage of the walking McDonald’s, once a pillar of the robot community.

EVENING NOONTIME SHOW: A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

ROBOT FACTORY DISASTER: WALKING MCDONALD’S

DESTROYEDMatt Loved Clumsy, Lurching

Robot Like Child, Reports Say

By Preston Frankel, 11.8Recently, in the class Robot Factory, a walking,

sentient McDonalds built by Matt crashed to the ground, breaking into pieces. The robot was a beloved fixture of Robot Factory, known for its lumbering, lurching gait.

While it was undergoing renovations, the McDonald’s was pushed over and off of a table, completely destroying it. I was a firsthand witness, seeing everything unfold. In the frenzy, however, it was not clear if anyone was responsible.

Matt is standing strong, however. Immediately after its destruction, he began working on rebuilding the McDonald’s. “Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the McDonald’s will be reborn,” Matt said.

“But in what form?” I asked.He replied: “When we envision the future, we

think of flying and airships, so I will make a flying McDonald’s attached to an airship.”

This is all we know as of now, so we will leave it at this.

School of Rock Kids Show Major Chops

By Charlotte Simon, 8.6Last night was the Evening Noontime Show. Now, I think all

the kids in the show were amazing. But School of Rock: they were AMAZING! They played an

awesome song. Eloise Smacklin sang, Jesse Gold and Ava Nolan played piano, Asher, the funny guy, played flute, and Daniel was on drums. Now we will do an interview of one of our very own Heart Beat correspondents who was on piano: Ava Nolan!

HB: Did you like playing in School of Rock?AN: Yes.HB: Do you enjoy piano?AN: Not really.HB: Do you like your bandmates?AN: Yeah. HB: How did you feel when you were on stage?AN: I don’t know. It was last night.HB: Are you happy that you did it?AN: Yes.HB: Did you enjoy the rest of the Evening Noontime Show?AN: Yes.

BAM Dazzles with Showstopping Finale

By Erin Bejasa, 10.4If you went to the Evening Noontime Show, you would

remember the finale. The finale was the performance that BAM did. BAM stands for Ballet and Modern. In this class, the teacher, Josef, combined ballet and modern dance.

In the Evening Noontime Show, the songs that BAM used were Love Runs Out by OneRepublic and Bohemi-an Rhapsody by Queen. But they used the Glee version and not the original.

Now you know some facts about BAM’s performance! If you went to the Evening Noontime Show, the Heart Beat hopes that you enjoyed the show!

REMINDER: Your parents can still purchase raffle tickets for the 50/50 drawing next Friday! $20 for 1 ticket, $50 for 4 tickets, and $100 for 8. Pretty solid deal! And remember that all of the money goes to the camp’s Schol-arship Fund.

CAA’S GOT TALENT: Acts from the Evening Noontime Show, which was deftly emceed by future late night talk show host Dan P.

SUZ SEZ

Get ready for the last week of CAA!

Make sure your parents review the

Sunday evening email!

“A Pretzel Called Destiny”Reviewed by Eleanor Moses, 11.2

From the author of Pie and Predi-juice, The Food of the Round Table and Ham-let, this life-changing novel is about a Pretzel named Destiny. Destiny is sad because the baker forgot to twist her into a knot and instead kept her a straight line. At school (Pret Zel Elementary), all the other pretzels tease her because of her appearance. In the end, Destiny’s teachers and parents help her realize that it doesn’t matter what is on the outside, what matters is what is on the inside. So Destiny decides to realize her destiny and invent pretzelsticks.

Rating:

The Heart Beat Review of Books

The Pokémon ClubComic by Ava Nolan, 8.6

Things Staff Members Do with Ranch Dressing

By Anjali Marwell, 9.9People do weird things with ranch dressing, especially

the staff. I found out some of the staff members’ secrets and they don’t even know. Here is some stuff I figured out about staff members and their Ranch Dressing ad-dictions:

Christina dips her pizza in ranch dressing when no one’s watching.

Matt bathes in it and uses it to massage himself.Colin puts it in his coffee. Bob puts it on baked chicken. Also, I figured out that

if you sit in a certain chair in the library, it opens a secret door to a ranch dressing safe. I suspect that The Ranch Dressing Fairy put it there because it didn’t ever want these staff to ever run out of their favorite condiment.

What’s Your Favorite Fish? (Not to Eat, But to Love)

By Tallulah Reiser, 10.7Bubble-Eye Goldfish - 7 peopleClown Fish - 6 people Betta - 5 peopleRegular Boring Goldfish - 3 peoplePop Eyed Goldfish - 1 personPearlscale Goldfish - 1 person Pufferfish - 1 personMy conclusion: Most people like the Bubble-Eye

Goldfish the best, but a lot of people like the Clown Fish. I can’t blame them because Clownfish are very cute, but I prefer the Bubble-Eye Goldfish. A lot of people also liked the Betta Fish, which, if you take good care of them, will live long. Three people liked the regular, boring Gold-fish. Only ONE person liked the Pearlscale Goldfish! The Pearlscale Goldfish is a very pretty, fat fish. And only one person liked the Pop Eyed Goldfish! This fish is very cute. I used to really want a fish. But then my friend got a fish and it died the next day. What I’m trying to say is, a fish may not live long, but it’s always nice to have (unless you don’t like fish).

Dan P. Vandalizes Camper’s Sign

By Jacob Buller, 9.8All of us know that deep inside Dan. P there is a dark

side filled with anger. He showcased this today when he vandalized camper Jacob Buller’s sign and turned it into a sign of evil that said GO STAFF! We can all agree that he is going to destroy the world soon and we have to stop him. We asked Apprentice Max and he said, about this, “It’d be great.” My fellow campers, we have to fight back against Dan. Do whatever you can to stop him! Thank you for reading and have a great night.

Ice Cream for Next YearBy Noah Miller, 10.2

I asked Staff, C.I.Ts, campers, and interns what flavors of ice cream they were hoping to see next year at Hat Day...

Cookies & Cream: 2Mushroom (gross): 1Strawberry: 2 Mint chocolate chip: 5Belgium chocolate-chocolate: 1 Anything chocolate: 1Anything vanilla related: 1Any kind of sorbet: 1I can’t have ice cream: 1I don’t know: 2Cookie dough: 1Mint: 1Salted caramel: 1Dulce de leche: 1I think they should get tubs of Ben & Jerrys chocolate: 1

MOVE OVER, KETCHUP: Colin using ranch dressing to moisturize and hydrate his hands. “Trust me, it takes off 20 years,” he insisted.