Li

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Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia

VOL. XIV No,VANCOUVER B.C . FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16, 1931

Fmk New PlaysSelected By Club, . . For Xmas Showing

IN MEMORIAMFive Year Plan

Starting Point

Says Prof. 'Day

Cleveland Resigns

As Junior Member

On.Return to U.B.C.

Following two strenuous days of try-outs successful aspiiant sto membership in the Players Club were welcomed by the Presi-dent at the first general meeting last Friday.

The new honorary president, r, Walker, was then formallyintroduced and received with $thussm by old and new mem-bers. He announced that then would be four plays this Christ-mas, giving ample scope to the t*lenta of the memlers . Theplays are as follows: "Vindication" by Leonard J. Hines andFrank King is a tragedy enacted in a single room by the rela-tive of a opndenned murderer . This play will be directed b ySidney Risk, Arts '30.

For those who are interested n$

--character Interpretation a play called"The Tender Passion" by Vincent Heads Players . ClubDouglas has been ohOssu. It is moreon the lines of a sketch but containsall the elemepta of an interestingformsflce, lflclutliflg a park bench, an da lover's quaEiil. Dr, Carrothera andMv3• Lawrence will direct this play .

The modern day will be representedin "Part Time Job," a light comedyby Laura Hornlckel concemig th edoings of a young husband, his wif eand their friends, Atmosphere will

be the dominant tone of this playunder the joint direction of Mrs . Gor*

don Shrum and Miss Jeff ord .A costume play by Henry Holing

will complete the performance . It iscalled "Hunt the Tiger" and is a fan-tastic tragic-comedy of the 18th cen-tury in Tra!e. In it an imaginativeman eiolve5 a new scheme which pro .video an interesting Option for would -be suicides . Dr. Walker will managethe production of this play ,

Member' are already reading theirplay and will st~tt rehesrs1$ within

the nUt few days In order to give a

creditable performanb about thefourth week in November. The Thue

plans were reminded that the way ofthe actor is necsuasrtIy rigorous.

8trict co-operation in the matter of

prnpt sttefld*flC it' rhsarsalL re.

ip't for detail, etc., $1 the life-blood

of the Club.

. •

,

'

'

The Rptien wlU he held on th.

evenings 0f Oct P'

Herold fullt vacant on,'

bed

eittJackon the .*SCUtLVR OQflUflittSS.

RUtt*1was *gted to till this offlos

The new inemb.s re a fo1lowi

Norms BInYaL 4$flC *Tt ' AliciaEarl, Helen Ferguson, Helen Harris,Betty Jack, Dorothy Lees, Janet Mc -Elhanney, Jacqueline McGregor, Oliv eNorgroVe, Margaret Palmer, Margare tPowlett, Beryl Rogers, Jane Steven-son, Margaret Stewart, Frances Tre-mayne Eleanor Walker, Art Bagrli,

J . M. Beddall, H. P. Bell-Irving, D.

M. Brown, Peers Davidson, DouglasGordon, George Hall, Ross Hanbury ,Fred Hobson, Bernice Jacksofl, HaroldLando, Tom Mansfield, D. Martin, C .

R . Mathison Robert McKeown, J . M.Millar, Bill Morrow, Art MurdockHugh Palmer, Henry Shaw, AlastarTaylor, Gordon Thompson, and sev-eral technicians yet to be appointed .

Terminating his brief career as Junior Member, Howar dCleveland resigned at a meeting of Sfudents' Council onWednesday, 14th. At the same meeting it was decided thatArts must pay for the consequences of the recent Arts-ScienceriJt, being the attacking faculty. The requests of the TennisClub and the Big Block Club for permission to hold dances thi sterm was refused .

A grant of $6 .00 'was made to the Agriculture Club for thepurpose of sending two teams of three, men each on a dry.Judging contest down the Pacific Coast.

Horace MoEwen, a student inhis final year in Mining En-glneering at this UnIvorsty ,died Saturday after being taken'suddenly ill early in the term ,

Mr. McEwen, who was 35years old when he died, was awar veteran, having been inaction for two years in Francein the Army Service Corps,CX,F. He was transferred tothe Royal Alt Force after behad been wounded, and spentthe latter part of the war withThe R.A.F. In Egypt.

He was a member of Science'32, department of mining engin-earing at the U.E .C . and thisspring was warded the CaptainLe Roy Memorial Scholarship,which is awarded annually tothe war veteran at this univer-sity who shows the most out-standing progress in scholasti cachievement.

Mr. McEwen leaves hi smother, Mrs. F . E. McEwen, hiswife and their two-year-di ddaughter .

Resigned

Outdoors Club

Scales Peaks

Oh Trip

ALICE M , ORROWElected to the off co at president of

the Players' Club l*st'tone, MIu Mor-row Is this year undertaking the teakof directing the Univiralty dr*matioorganisation. The position ii one ofconaidi,sble responsibility owing tothe high Sendoff of prodUction Which1*s been cr.ltOd Ii the tshth In form..,yens.

HOWARD CLEVELANDOwing to pressure of work arisin g

partly from his late return to college,Cleveland has been compelled to ye-sign from the position of Junior Mem-ber to which he was elected lastspring.

GYM. CLUBS

MINIATURE

MJNOTAUR

'The Russian Five Year Plan is notan end in itself, but rather a jumpin goff point for further planning and de-velopment" was the gist of an addressgiven by Professor J. Friend Day on"The Economic effects of the successof the Russian Five Year Plan onCanada and the United States" befor ethe Association of Professional En-gineer..

In tackling a subject of this bindProfessor Day streamed the importanc aof the history of .Russia prior to theformulation of this gigantic scheme .He said that Russia was a vast area ,similar in many respects, In dlimte ,geographical relation to liii marketsof the world, and produce, to the con-tinent of North America taken as awhole . The westernization of this al -most immeasurable area had bee ndeliberately held back by the policyof the Czars, because they believed inthe possllility of the development o fa distinctive Slavic civilization. Healso stressed the fact that after thewar, Russia had to build up her eco-nomic structure from virtual ruin,while she could not obtain creditabroad; she was trying to build up,under a condition of economic block-ade, a trade machine suitable for torn -Petition in international trade .

In 1021, Lenin, one of the greatestmen of modern times, established anew economic order : that is, he abo-lished private property rights, ai dmade trading a governmental mono -poly, acid Prof, Day. Lenin, however,saw the folly of a rigid enforcemen tof this policy, and allowed trading forprofit within the boundaries of th ecountry, and recognized the rights ofprivate property In fact, if not I ntheory . The effects of allowing inter-nal trade to be carried on with theobject of obtaining profit, were verygratifying, but it was soon realizedtht "these traders were getting toomuch pow, and so a pOlicy oi liqul.dalton Was inaugurated . "It Is rather%tflg*o not,.,, that in Ru$a the

wcr4 11I*i~4tlon h*i am•eniflg-there it means 'to talceaway all a man's goods and then pu thim up against a wall and shoot himif it is considered necessary," he said. ,

Their program included mlnlng,for-estry, electrical engineering, industrygeneral, and agriculture. Their dif-ficulties were the Slavic attitude tolabor, the innate dreaminess of theSlavic outlook, and tue tremendou swill power necessary for a practica l

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Debates Union

Nomenclature

Is Changed

C Discussion arose as to whether thuwas strictly a student function, shies

. the work was more or less curricular.It was concluded that these teeingwere . to be 'considered on the sam"• 'Looting as debating teams. In the jlt'they have done well—winning firstprize four years ago and also in Miltyear's contest,

A prolonged discussion was held ottthe subject of f1lng a date for 'theArts Ball, opinion being divided o nthe question as to whether Friday . orSaturday is the more suitable nightfor this function No final decisionwas reached, The matter will be putbefore the Alma Mater Society It aforthcoming meeting.

An application from the Ex-V8r .ItyEnglish Rugby team to use the Gymfor practices was favorably received .The field south of the Soccer fieldwas allotted to the Grass HockeyClub, and will hereafter be known asthe hockey field . Expenses for neces,sary equipment for this club were ap, -proved of.

.

' . 'Continuing to stand by its *ICY

of cutting down on social functions.Council refused to grant perfltltaionto the Tennis Club to hold a dines,which in the past used to be sit An-nual affair. The same treatment ' '.accorded the Basketball league, . .well as the Big Block Club It wasmaintalne4 that the pall term is fartoo :11andthat mor

e tioflare very

thlitime

00,

* rofThresignation o Mowl.

'°i

tl*Was

.t

."1 would like to take the oppoto extend to the Students' Counci land to the Alma Mater Society mysincere regrets that I am unable tocontinue in office.

"I would like to explain," he added ,"that I was unavoidably late in myarrival at university, and it would beimpossible to do justice to my officeor my studies in remaining JuniorMember,"

A grant for expenses in connectionwith the Danish Gymnastic Displayon October 26th in the Varsity Gym-nasium was made. This affair is beingsponsored by the Men's and Women*Gym Clubs.

Relation. ClubHears Report

Of DelegateReports on the International Stud-

ant Conference which was held dur-ing the summit'. , 'end on the PaciflcArea Conference, were read at ameeting of the International Rela-tions Club on Thursday, 'October 8 .

The first ' report, which was writtenby Mr. James Gibson, former secre-tary of the club, gave a full accountof the ' International Conferencewhich took place at the Universit yof Michigan.

It was moved that a vote ofthanks be sent to him for his report .

A second report, read by MissHeckle, told of the Pacific Area Con-ference which was held this summe rat Bowen Island .

The business of the meeting In .eluded the admission of several ne wmembers to the club .

he is at present conducting is corn-posed of twelve girls and thirteenyoung men, high school studentsfrom Denmark .

The program consists of fundasmental gymnastics, agility exercises,jumping, singing games, and folkdances in. national costume .

An exhibition of this kind has nev-er before been staged here and it ishoped that the ' students d facultywill make it a success by patronizin gIt .

Tickets are selling for 3k to Var-sity studentp, SOc to the general pub-lie, and iserved seats may be hadfor $1 .00 . They can be procured fromany member of the Men's and Worn -en's Athletic Executive.

The celebrated Danish Gymnasts,under the leadership of ProfessorBelch are staging a display in theVarsity gym., the evening of Octo-ber 26.

This, presentation is part of a worldtour, the participants coming to Van-couver from Japan and then proceed-ing eastward through Canada an dthe United States .

Professor Bukh who is principal o fthe Gymnastic Peoples' College, 01 -lerup, Denmarl ,, was a sailor, a sold-1ev, and a farmer, before he madegymnastic science and training hisprofession. He has conducted' gym-nastic exhibitions in numerous coun-

A meeting of all those interested teles dU?Ifl$ the lest twenty years .in public speaking and debating was gymnastic teams under hisheld during the noon hour on Octo- direction have competed successfull yber 8 in Arts 104. Mr. MiltonQwen t iiverii Olympic Games .was obosin as temporiry chairmanI Thi team withhim in the tour thatof the meeting and Mr. Prank Chris.tian as secretary.

The purpose of the meeting was t odissolve the former Debating Unionand to replace it with the UniversityParliamentary Forum. It was movedby Mr. Simple and seconded by Mr.Ladner ,,that a letter be sent to thePresident of the L. S. E. from thismeeting requesting that the DebatingUnion be dissolved and be replacedby the University ParliamentaryForum, the executive of which i syet to be chosen. The motion carried.

It was further decided that a tern-porary committee be appointed to ar-range for the first official meeting ofthe Parliamentary Forum . On thiscommittee of five members are : MissWalker, Mr . Beckett, Mr. Christian ,Mr. MacDougall and Mr. Lando . Apermanent executive will be chosenat the first meeting of the Forum .

By Michael FreemanTen members of the Vanity Out-

doors Club ' assailed and conqueredSky Pot and the Ledge at th etop , of Britannia Vally Howe Sound ,during the Thanksgiving week-end,October 10-12.

Taking the Union Steamship "Cyn-thia," on Saturday morning the hik-ers reached Britannia Beech shortlyafter midday. Here the skip wastaken up ' an Incline which rises 150 0feet in half k mile, to the terminusof the eleitric railway. The. skip con-slits of a flat car on rails which isrelied up the bill by means of a . steelcable The elctrlc railway winds its

h

' hway up te valley for'tree or fouruntil it reaches ftt. Townalt.,

erode

BIIW

'isIt 4~io'ye the upper town that

the D. !1C... . hikers firat took to the. trail. C1$Iing up the valley for sthour atd half they finally reachedUtopia Lake, the upper reservoir forthe water supply for Britannia mine ,Here camp was pitched for the nigh tand most of the party slept out in th eopen in their sleeping bags

After a sumptuous breakfast th emountain cl4nbers commenced theday's hike. Utopia Lake lies in a ba-sin at the top end of Britannia Valley ,surrounded on three sides by mount-am ridges, which rise abruptly for athousand feet r more . The peak ofSky Pilot could be seen from thelake, rising b4hlnd and above thenorth ridge of be valley ,

After an hours steep and heavyclimbing the hikers reached opencountry on the top of the latter ridge .

To ascend Sky Pilot, It was neces-sary for the pa, of climbers to cros sthe South facie IA the peak at the hot -torn of the cliffs. This was accom-plished by Iollqwing short ledgeswhich gradually rose to the East side .

' Rounding the South East shoulder ,the hikers had a marvellous view ofGaribaldi Mountain 'fifteen or twentymiles due . North. Twenty minuteslater, after climbing over a series ofstep-like formation, on the East face .the Varsity hikers gained the summitof the peak .

Lunch was eaten by the Party at the .bottom of Sky Pilot . Crossing a broadshingle chute the refreshed hikers.soon reached the base of the Ledge .To climb this peak first a long rockslide had to be ascended which leadaround to the East face . This con-nected with a narrow ledge that ros ediagnally across the South cliff towithin a hundred feet of the summit .The rest of the ascent consisted of afairly steep incline, which was strew n

(Please turn to Page Two)

Letters Club

Hears Paper

On Fairy Tales

"Some night when the sun in dark -ness dips

We'll seek that dreamland oldenAnd you shall touch with your fin-

ger tipsThe ivory gates and golden—so

promised Jean Cameron in the paperon Fairy Tales which she read at ameeting of the Letters Club at thehome of Dean Bollert Tuesday even-ing, October 13.

"Modern civilization and our Purl .tonic tendencies," she said, "have pre-vailed to banish most of our actua lbeliefs in Fairies and their butnothing can take from those whoreally joy in the "wee folk" thecharm of makebelleve .

Although we no longer regard fair slea with superstitious awl we volun-tarily suspend our disbelief UId "clapwith sheer delight when called uponto save Tinkerbell's life . "

Story tellin g is 'a very ancient ar tand the stories told by the savagesdiffer very little from the more pol.Ished products of a sophisticated a ge .Fairy tales are an important divisionof all folk tales and have been nunii ddown by oral as well as 'by Writte nirditon from age to age.

"The simplest and most work.bleclassification of fairy tales," said Mis sCameron, "seems to be divide theminto aegis and the German Marcliitnor nursery tales,"

" Before the time of Petrault ther e

Iwere fe printed tales . The earliestcollections the Mont Piacevoll, waspublished by Straparola, a native o fCeravagglo, in 1550.

;Straparola's tales Oecnme the rig 1of the French Centex des • Fees and(u?nlshed the basis of Perrault's Pussin Boots and several of' Mme . D'Aul.noy's tales. To Perrault we ma yascribe the beginning of, the MotherGoes. Legend.

'ikt 1832 the Grimm brothers pub-

lished their first edition of HouseholdTales, i' collection well known an dIovd by v.ry child

Tcies, of fairy ION:, WitS further.uar:-ited•* h. i&e*i 0..01Norse Tales published by Asb)ornsensaid Moo In 1859 and translated b yGeorge Webb Daunt in 1874 as TalesFrom the Old Novae and Tales Fromthe FJeld .

Jacob's English, Celtic and Pure -for the forthcoming peen Folk tales must not bforgotten.

are proceeding apace, "Among Japanese fairy tales," saidJohn Madeley, Grand Miss Cameron . "there are some of un-

society. The complete usual beauty and suggestivenqes,which reflect the characteristic lov eof the Orient for everything exqui-site and perfect both in harmony an ddetail."

Ireland too has been the birth placeof countless ori ginal fairy tales. Mod-em Irish retry presents the Irish tra-dition in a simple and graceful form .

"Come away, 0 human chil dTo the waters and the wild

with a fairy, hand in handFor the world's more full of weep s

Ing than you can understand. "So sings William Butler YeatsBans Anderson was a geniis of

modern fairy 'literature . In literaryform of the pietist simplicity he pie-sents the whole tapestry of 111., andwithout suggesting a moral, tells al lhe has experienced in life in simpleconcrete Imagery that a child can ap-preciate ."

"In Lewis Carroll's Alice In Won-derland are grave nonsense, absurdpuns, mock logic and cheerfully f ai-taste happenings which , make it aclassic among moderns ."

The desire for simplicity In an ad-vancing and changing civlllzatlon ha scalled forth many modern "fantastic "tales ranging from the delightful non ,sense of Alice in Wonderland to theprofound seriousness of The King ofthe Golden River .

"The idea of fairy folk with dressesof rose petals, golden tresses andstarred Wands is one of comparativelymodern origin deduced by a peopl eno longer fearful of the fairies."

'RehearsalsThoth Balletannounces St .Scribe of th ecast has been selected and is bein gput through its paces by the product -ton committee .

Costumes for the presentation arein the hands of Miss M . A. P11km-ton, who handled the former ballet ,"Anthony and Cleopatra," which wa sstaged two years ago,

This year's ballet takes for its sub-ject the Greek myth of "Theseus andthe Minotaur ." The scene will beoutside the labrinth . As well as theleading characters, a chorus of hu-man sacrifices will be featured, whilea combat between Theseus and hisbuflsheaded opponent will form th eclimax of the production .

FASHION PARADE

MODELS CHOSEN;

MANY COMPETE

COMING EVENTS

Today :Arts 33, Arts 100, 12 :15 .Meeting of Pep Club . Arts 108 .

Monday, 18th :Arts 34, Arts 100, noon .Big Block Club, Arts 106 ,

noon .Pep Meeting, Auditorium,

noon.

Sophomore Officers

Are Filled

Chaucer speaks of a "land fulfilledof faerle ." Spenser elaborated fairyideas and subsequent poets added t othe tradition . "The mythology of thepeople as presented in Shakespearereveals the mischievous Puck at workteasing the dairy maids and hoppin gin the old gammer's bowl In likenessof a roasted crab ." The poet has notmeulded this conception to suit him-self—he has clung to the traditions of%he common people .

Senior Class

To Visit Grave

Of Dr. WesbrookMilton Owen was elected new

President of Arts '34 by an over-whelming majority at the class meet-ing held Wednesday in Arts 100.Nancy Carter was returned as Vice -

The secretary'Musical Society

President.s office hasnot yet been filled .

Will Produce

I The meeting was opened by the re-I tiring president, Douglas Brown, who

H. M. S . Pinafore called on the three candidates for thepresidency, Telford, Whitelaw, an d

The Musical Society will produce Owen, to address the class and out-

another Gilbert and Sullivan opera, line their election policies. No plot-

H .M.S . Pinafore, this year. This was form beyond the general good of th e

definitely decided at in executive class was advanced by Telford o r

meeting of the Club held in Audi- Owen . Whitelaw suggested that a

torium 207 at 3 p .m. Wednesday .Work is being commenced on th e

Opera at once. Scores have been sentfor and the first rehearsal is set fornext Wednesday .

The Society will give its first noo nhour recital of the year on Thursday ,October 22 . The chorus will renderselections and members of the A.M .S.will also contribute,

Shakespearian

Scenes at K.11.S.

Prove Popular

Presenting a series of scenes fromShakespeare, a group of English actorsentertained under the auspice.' of theL .S .E . at Kitsllano High School Audi .torlum Tuesday night .

The company, composed of LeslieManners, Jessica Dale-Lee, Marjori eHansen (pianist) and Maureen Otut e(dancer), showed remarkable vereati-lit,, all the Shakespearean roles beingtaken by the first two,

The Morocco Casket scene from 'Th eMerchant of Vepkte,' a scene fromHamlet combining three of the greatsoliloquies with 'Hamlet's reviling ofhis mother, Antony's oration over thebody of Caesar, Shylock and Porti ain the Trial Scene, the encounter ofJacques and Rosalind in 'As You Lik eIt,' and excerpts ., from 'The Tamingof the Shrew' were the parts selected,

Leslie Manners was at his best a sPetruchio in 'As You Like It,' HisShylock was also an excellent por-trayal, and his Mark Antony was verywell done . As Hamlet he gave a goodinterpretation, though in appearancehe fell short of the ideal .

Jessica Dale-Lee proved somewhat'stagey' as Portia in the Casket Scene,but very capable in the Trial Scene .She carried her other roles well, es-pecially in 'The Taming of the Shrew . 'Between scenes she sang 'Sigh NoMore, Ladies,' 'Mistress Mine, WhereAre You Roaming,' and 'When ThatI Was a Little Tiny Boy, '

Maureen Grute gave two dances ,'Roman Dance' and 'Humming Bird. 'The latter was executed with themore grace and poise .

Costumes were colourful, but set-tings were dispensed with, the com-pany depending on the excellence o fits elocution for effect .

R . G

WHAT ZILCH

HATH DONE—

ZILCH CAN DO

"The verse is harder than the chor-us, but then, the chorus is easier tha nthe verse," Harold King explained t oa throng of students when he intro-duced his new song at the Canad-ian Rugby pep meeting last Friday .The song writer and his orchestraprovided most of the entertainmen tat the noon-hour gathering. Oneskit was staged.

To get things going, the sweat-shirt musicians took a deep breat hand waded through "Nobody's Sweet-heart Now." Their efforts receivedan encouraging amount of applaus eand the usual bombardment of lunc hpaper.

The students, however, were wait-ing for "Hail, U . B. C." and not unti lit was played did they unleash thei renthusiasm, The words of the son ghad been printed and distributedthrough the audience and the stud -ants were given their first oppor-tunity of singing it .

Graduating classes will observe anannual custom when they visit the

I grave of Dr. Wesbrook, first presiden tof the University of British Columbia ,on Tuesday, October 20th .

This ceremony was started by th eclass of Arts '25 in honor of the work

I accomplished by Dr. Wesbrook durin g: his term of office . This work includedstrenuous efforts to have the Univer-sity moved from its temporary quar-

I ters in Fairview to its present site,This year the visit to the cemeter y

will take place at noon on Tuesday ,October 20th . Seniors will procee dby car to Mountain View Cemetery

fund be started now, stretching over where they will place a wreath on th ethe three years to graduation, to coy- grave It is customary for the honor-er the Arts '34 Valedictory gift to the ary president of the graduating clas sUniversity . It was suggested that no , to give a short address at the grav emore stone seats be presented to the side, This duty will fall to the lot o fLibrary.

Professor Angus this year, as ' presi -Nancy Carter, Betty Newson, and dent of Arts '32. The wreath to b e

Beryl Rogers were nominated as vice : placed on the grave will be exhibite dpresident . Nancy Carter was ye in the hallway of the library duringturned .

the morning of the 20th.

Co-ed mannequins will parade c nthe evening of the 23rd and the after .ol! the 24th of October, under the tus-pices of the Hudson's Bay Company ,Tickets for this W .U•S Fashion Showmay be purchased from members o fthe executive or the models forseventy-five cents .

These models were chosen afte rcareful consideration, from three hun-dred girls , So much competition per-mitted those in charge to choose onl ythose who are most suited to thework . The following wove finallyselected :

Dorothy Thompson, Dorothy Walk -r, Dorothy Colledge, Hilda Wood ,

Jean Bogardus, Marion MacDonald ,Mary Thompson, Kathleen Bingay,Betty Creighton, Alice Morrow, Jose-phine Henning, and Gretchen Vroo-man. Those on the executive of th eW .U.S. , from whom tickets may bebought are : Dorothy Myers, Pat Har-vey, Esme Thompson, Betty Jack,Mary Matheson, Nancy Carter, andEthel Elliott .

This year the tickets for the eveningperformance are the same price a athose for the afternoon, seventy-fivecents . The model will protray the lat-est fashions in smart sport wear, flut-tering afterncDn gowns, and gracefu levening dresses . Soft music will beplayed while the mannequins display

' their lovely ensemble . Tea will beserved after the performance .

Special mention should be made o fthe work of Dorothy Myers, who i sdevoting time and energy towar dmaking the affair an even greate rsuccess than last year . Naturally th eshow calls for much practice on th epart of the models ; the executive,too, are exerting themselves to swellthe Women's Union Building Fund .

i Women of the University should sho wtheir appreciation of these efforts by

1turning out in full force to the per-formances . As there are two displaysthere is no excuse for not attending,

4

Nominations for the positio nof Junior Member must be i nthe hands of the Secretary b y5 o'clock Monday . The nomin-ees must be third year stu-dents . The nomination must besigned by ten members of th eAlma Mater Society . No fresh-men May vote.

A Players' Club tryout was pre-sented to pass the time and MamieZilch, as Lady Sizzle, succeeded i nmaking the grade along with he r

:partner, Himie Zilch .

Saturday, 17th: Canadian RugbyVarsity vs . Westminster at

Westminster, 2 :30 .Varsity VS . Cougars at Mc-

Bride, 2 :30 .SoccerVarsity vs. Southl'i'l Kerris-

dale, 3 :00 ,Varsity Juniors VS. Victori a

Road, Varsity Grounds, 3 :00English Rugby1LB.C. vs . Ex-Magee, Brock -

ton Pt ., 2 :15 .Varsity vs . Rowing Club,

Brockton Point, 3 :30 .Varsity 2 vs . King George ,

Heather Park, 2 :45 ,Varsity 3 vs . North VancoU-

j

vet. , Douglas Park, 3 :30 .

I

THE UBYSSEY' Friday, October 16, 1931•

the iLt~Lu11 gpIC AND PICK

(Member of Pacific Inter-Collegiate Press Association )Issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Studen t

Publication Board of the University of British Columbia ,West Point Grey .

PHONE PT. GREY 128Mail Subscription rate, $3 per yea rAdvertising rates on application .EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—Wilfred Lee

SENIOR EDITORSTuesday Issue: Mairi Dingwal l

Friday Issue : Frances LucasSport Editor : E . King .

Feature Editor : E. J. CostainAssociate Editors: Mollie Jordan, Rosemary Winslow

Literary Editor: Michael FreemanExchange Editor: Nathan Nemetz

Columnist : R. Grantha mNews Manager : St. John Madele y

Assistant Editors: Tom Howe, Norman HackingSidney Aqua ,

Reportorial Staff: Pat Kerr, Arnold White, Bill Cameron ,Day Washington, Ted Denne, Stew Keate, KayCrosby, Milton Share, Betty Gourre, Kim Killam ,Celia Lucas, Margaret Little, Laurel Rountree .

Business Assistants : Guy Palmer, Dave King, MurrayMiller, Nathan Nemetz, Brodie Gillies, Phil Parker .

CLASS AND CLUB NOTEil\

•

LE CERCLE "ALOUETTE ""Alouette" held its opening meetin g

on Tuesday afternoon at Anne's Te aHouse. A program of French songs,afternoon tea with French conver -sation and a business meeting con -ducted in French proved both in -teresting and profitable .

"L'Alouette" will meet Tuesday,October 20 at the home of Miss RuthHeighten, 1132 Salisbury Drive. Takethe No, 4 car to Napier Street an dCommercial Drive . Walk one blockeast and half a block south .

NOTIC ECheques for th e Provincia l

Government Bursaries have ar -rived at the Bursar's office ,Students entitled to this moneyshould call at the Bursar's of.flee without delay ,

In the last 'Pipe and Pen' I credited th eHamlet slang translation the 'The Oregonian ,University of Oregon,' instead of to 'The Ore -

gonian, Portland, Oregon . 'Recapitulation

I hereby disown the fourquippish comments embodied

in the last 'Pipe and Pen .' There should havebeen a double line above them to indicate thatthe responsibility was not mine .

NOTICE ARTS '32We still need a few more cars fo r

transportation to the Wesbrook Cer -emony on Tuesday, October 20 a tnoon. Any, students who can assis tus by supplying a car on this date !please notify C. Cooke by Letter rac kas soon as possible.

ARTS '33• Election of President, Treasurer,and Men's Athletic Rep, will takepace at the meeting of Arts '33 tobe held in Arts 100 at 12:15 today .Al! ' members please turn out .

PHYSICS CLUB

Business Manager, Reg. Price

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 16, 1931'

A meeting of the Physics Club wil lbe held in Science 200 at 3 o'clock !next Wednesday, Mr. ~yle Stewartwill speak on the Eastman Kodak ,the Technicolor, and the Deftly andMartinez process of color photogra- 1PhY.

INTERNATIONAL RELATIONSCLUB

There are several vacancies in theclub at present . All students whohave passed ' their Freshman year andwho show their interest by attendingtwo consecutive meetings are eligi -ble. Address all communication to J .Sumner or W. Roper.

NOTI CWill the three members of the Lit-'!

wary Forum who sent their reslg-nations to Kay Crosby please hand itheir name. to the secretory-treas -

siblurere,, Lilian Youd., as soon as pos -

ED, NOTEIf "a left-over myself" will kindly

furnish us with his name as a guar -antee of good faith we shall be gladto publish his letter. The name willnot be published and will be kep tconfidential .

,

Rogers Bldg. Barber ShopThe

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presentative

CLASSICS CLUBThe opening meeting of the Classics

Club was held at the home of Mr .Todd, on Wednesday, October 7, Fol -lowing the president's welcome tb th evisitors and new members, Miss Auldgave an interesting address on "GreekArchitecture," Illustrating her subjectwith slides and posters. The singingof a popular song in Latin was a ninnovation of the evening which, i tis hoped, will be continued at futuremeetings, After the' serving of re -freshments a vote of h wasmoved to Dr. and ,Mrs . Todd, and themeeting adjourned.

* * *A news report unjournalistically records

that the Council received ' a very amusin gletter' from the Big Brother and Big Sister

Movement Incorporated, ask-Let 's Be

ing U. B. C. to refrain fromBig-Hearted

using the term 'Big Sister' incampus life . Whether this

Movement has a legal right to the exclusiveuse of the term is doubtful, but—oh- well, le tthem have it, let them have it! As a substitut ewe might adopt something dignified ,

* * *By this time everyone should know who

Charlie Crane is and, since his picture ap-peared in the last issue, what he looks like . It

was stated in the . article that accom-Craite panted the picture that he has bee nAgain handicapped since he was six years

old. This, it is important to . know,should have read 'nine months old, '

* * *Yes-They-Think-So state in the last issu e

that misprints appear to be distributedthroughout the paper with marked impartialit y

and certainly they cannotThere's Many complain of being neglected.A Slip

At any rate, it is always provo-cative to wonder what inter-

esting word variations will be introduced intoone's copy. Recently I read in an Americanuniversity paper that Zane Grey had gone intothe wilds of somewhere-or-other to get thebackground for a new novel—only anothe rvowel was substituted for the 'o' in 'novel 'There's many a slip 'twixt the pen and theprinted product.

As for 'weeks,' if I could believe that even 'a few students delved into Chaucer to discoverits meaning, I would deliberately encouragesuch philological zeal by using other strangebut stimulating words, such as 'ploughing'which I noted in the last issue . Probably, how-ever, the editors would carefully substitutecommon firms for, any such words that wereused intentionally.

LITERARY FORUM"Alice Freeman Palmer" Is the sub .

jest chosen by Miss Jean Campbellfor her address to the Literary For-um on Tuesday noon in Arts 105 .This is . the tint of the series of thelives of,Great Women to be studiedby the Forum. Members are askedto be prompt at this meeting to thereis some business to be discussed be -fore the address.

Members of the dale Faculty wh ohave a good opinion of their abilitybetween handles of a plough shoul dget In touch with Dick Locke and ge ttheir names down for the first plough -ing match that has ever been held onthe campus. The match will takeplace on Wed., GOctober 21st, Therewill be both individual and class comepetition and prizes wil be given th evictors in each class .

1PBE•MEDS.The University Health Service has

prepared a , very useful bulletin on"So-called Athlete's Foot," whichshould be of interest to pre-medicalstudents, They and others Interes -ted, can secure copies at the HealthService, Auditorium Belding.

The Literary Supplement

"Whenever the Muse visits the University "—then and then only can the sorely harassedliterary editor produce a Literary' Supplemen tto the Ubyssey. But the Muse will not comeuninvited ; she must be invoked and that bymore than a single person . . We have been in-formed on good authority that it requires butthe invitation to bring this honored guestamong us in the near future. In other words,.* Literary Supplement will appear within theno*. few weeks provided that enough suitablemgittirial is forthcoming.

One of the functions of the Ubyssey, as out-lined in the Publications Board Constitution,is to provide students with a medium of ex-preplon. The regular departments of the paperare .always open to contributions from the stu•dent body . The correspondence exists in orderthat students may have an 'opportunity to ex-

esa their thoughts . For those who desire a

snorsjiterary medium of expression, the Literss►1 ► Suptement ii published twice annually,

P ure is no reason to suppose that there is lesslatent talent in the University at present tha nthere has been in previous years and we trustthat the next few weeks will bring forth awealth of contributions from which the liter -

, shy-editor may select material for a creditablesupplement

The S•,S• S• A•

PEP CLUB'Ken Stewart, enthusiastic yell lead-

er is organizing a yell club . GordenHillier is the secretary and his ob.jective is to have about 50 mat Inhis He-man's club to put on yellsand shows similar to the Universitie sserest the lint

n . {There is a chance here for student s

who are not in any organization orclub to take part in an activity wherethere is a chance for fun and enjoy-ment, and there is no fee .

A meeting will be held in Arts 10 8at Friday noon and those unable t oattend this meeting are invited b ythe executive to come to the sam eplace on Monday,

N

Comparatively few people realise the par twhich the Summer session students play in th e

Asgorpiur'ate life of the University . Banded to-gether as the Summer Session Students ' &se-datitns these men and women can in no waybe classed as a liability to the University. . Anacademic record of far better average than tha tshown on the records of the winter sessiontestifies to the type of men and women whowill spend their vacation at this institution .

As concrete evidence of their desire to helpin solving the many problems which confrontthe University, the students of the 12th Sum-mer Session, recently concluded, provided th efunds for one of the new tennis courts whic hmade its appearance during the long vacation .This is the first time that the S.S.S.A. hasfound it possible to make a gift to the Univer-sity, but we are told that the association is evennow considering a present to be made at its'13th session and expects to make the donatio nan annual event .

A closer contact between students of thetwo sessiond is sought by the S .S.S.A. and atits annual banquet representatives of theA.M.S. and the Alumni have been honoure dguests for the past two years . We believe thatsuch , contact would be of material benefit t othe University as a whole and we hope that re-gular students will not be backward in doin ganything which may bring into closer unionthe students of the two sessions .

,S. C. M.

The S.C.M. started its activities lastweek with a successful ,welcome fo rfre.hettes at the home of Mrs . A.GM. After a welcome to the womenby Vice-President Mary Sadler, Dea nBollert gave an address, stressing the.inoreadng need for some spirituellife on the campus. Katherine Hochin,

FOREST CLUB MEssT toA business meeting pf the Fores t

Club will be held in Room 235 Ap -plied Science Building at 12:15 noonon Tuesday, October 20th .

Ail interested are cordially invite dto attend .

se eYes-They-Think-So have heartened m e

greatly by hoisting the co-op standard, too.They wonder whether I would go se far as to

condemn competition in debating.Fellow The answer is in the negative ; foren-Co-ops sic contests, like games, are essen-

tially co-operative . The purpose ofathletics is to provide exercise and develo psportsmanship . Victory and defeat are inci-dental, Those who make them primary con-siderations adopt a distorted point of view—the 'cut-throat competition' attitude. Similarlyin debating

I think that the Yes-They-Think-So gentle-men would support me In the opinion thatcompetition is only desirable when it serve sthe ends of society as a whole—when it is con-structive in nature; when it stimulates co -operation, when it is not productive of materia lor mental harm.

WANT ADS

BOARD AND ROOM

BIG BLOCK CLUBThe Big Block Club will hold a

meeting on Monday noon, October 1 9In Arts 100. All members are urgedto attend. e NICE WARM HOME WITH WIDO W

for one or two girl students. Twin `bed. Pleasant location. Close to carand bus. 40t9 West 11th. Point Grey

SORORITY OR CLUBMAN REN Tdesirable room weekly. Elliott 1619 R

FOR RENTBRIGHT, QUIET BEDROOM, STUDY .

4248 W,1 h Ave.

,BRIGHT, DOUBLE OR SINGL Erooms for 4 or 5 students. Excellenttable. No children. A real home,

half a block from University gates .Moderate rates. 4020 U. 10th Ave.

"We Want Mamie'ie'

V. C . U .W. F . Baker's address to the V .C.U.

on Wednesday noon took the form ofan encouraging and helpful testimon -ial . He stressed the fact of the im -portance for the younger generatio nto have an absolute and whole-hearted faith in God and in our Sav -iour, Jesus Christ .

He said, "Nothing brings so much i nthe way of blessing than the unquall -fled faith in God ." He based his mostinteresting message on Incidents fromthe life of the Apostle Paul andtouched on several from his own ex -perience. He went on to show thatif we committ our lives to God's car eHe in return fills us with His spiri tand makes our lives radiant .

Next Wednesday, Oct. 21, Rev. J .E Harris will address an open meet -ing in Aggle 100 at 12 :00 noon. RevHarris is a graduate of EdmontonUniversity and has been heard sev -eral times in addressee on the campus .All interested are cordially invited t otake advantage of this opportunity .

Also, a paper will be given by one,of the members in Arts 204 on Frida ynoon at 12:05,

And we've got it !At the first Pep Meeting of the session, on

Friday last, a real Varsity song was put acrosswith a bang by its author and his whoopee-making band .

The Varsity's last effort in the way of Pe pMeeting rallying-cries was a rather puerile pla-giarism of a movie theme-song—and was dul yreceived with a coldness which really di dcredit to the much-questioned culture of th estudent body .

A moment's perusal of the back pages o fthe Student Handbook will show that there isa dearth of good songs from any source—ou rsupply, as compared with the copious compila-tion of the Toronto Varsity Song-Book, beingpitifully small . Of locally written lays ther eare almost no popular examples,—"Alm aMater" being classed in a somewhat differen tcategory .

"Hail, U. B. C ." shows signs of gaining in-stantaneous and ample popularity . Varsityneeds a good song badly, and Harold King ha sadequately supplied the want .

10 per cent off all

Goods, includf n gspecials, to

v,a•c,Studentc

ARTS '32 TAKE NOTICEClass fees are now due . Payable

to the treasurer, Ralph Fletcher, orat the table in the Arts building nea rthe men's common room . The yearlyfee is ten dollars but payment maybe made in two installments of fiv edollars for each term. Please paytheme as soon as possible ; the moneyis needed for the class party whic hhas been set for Monday, November2nd . The party will be held at th ePeter Pan ballroom, corner of Broad -way and Fir, from 9 to 12 p .m. It wil ltake the form of a gangster dance sobe prepared to look "Caponis h," Let' shave some co-operation and get allthe collecting done before the dance .By the way, we nearly forgot themost interesting part of the proceed -ings: THE DRAW. This importantevent is slated for Tuesday, Oct . 27 ,at 12 noon sharp. Who knows? Kismet .FIVE YEAR PLAN

STARTING POINT,SAYS PROF . DAY

(Continued from Page One)starving of the people in order to ac -complish their alms .

Professor Day expressed his grea tdiffidence in assuming the propheti cmantle, for he was laying himselfopen to criticism at a future date i ncase his forecastings failed to mater -ialise,

In 1925, stated Mr, Day, Stalin at -tacked Lenin's new economic policy .and attempted to get rid of the trader sby two methods: the first was exceed -ingly heavy taxation, and the second ,more effective still, banishment .

The actual commencement of th egargantuan plan for the rehabilitationof this vast country was in October ,1927 . Its objects are the industrial -ization of Russia, and the complet eliquidation of profiteers . This wasLenin's idea . The task the Russiansset for themselves was the re-creatlo rof capital resources out of the force sof labor and raw material—it amount -ed virtually to art imposition of war -time conditions on the masses. Con-sumption goods were, practicallyspeaking, rationed, and the energy o fthe country was turned with all pos -sible force upon the output of pro -duction goods. that is, factories, ma -chinery, etc. The original figures,which have been revised from time t otime, for obtaining their objectiv ewere as follows : first year, an increaseof 16,7' :, second year,' 13 .4' , thirdyear 13,s%, fourth year 10 .5% and i nthe final year the percentage increasewas to be the same.

LOST AND FOUNDWill anybody finding an econom -

ics book (Detbler) without a namein it please turn it in to Milton Shar eat the Publications office. '

LOST—a gold Wahl Eversharp pen -cil . Will the finder please communi -cate with the Ubyssey office or Doug .Perkins.

LOST — ESSAY MANUSCRIPT I Nblack-covered scribbler . Finder pleas ereturn to Bookstore. Alice Baker .

During the next month, up t oNovember 15th, any student ofthe University of British Co-lumbia can obtain a, reductio nof 10% off his bill on any pur -chase. This Include sHe can get this reduedon b yprovin that he is a studen ,His university pin, Bus permit,library identification card, any -thing at all that proves that thebearer is a registered student,Is sufficient .

OUTDOOR CLUB SCALESPEAKS ON TRIP

This offer Is mode in the hop ethat other firms will also fol-low and institute the Europeancustom of giving studentslower prices than the rest ofthe population .

Frankly, this is an experiment, andthe continuation of this policy de-pends on the students themselves . Ifsufficient students take advantage o fthis offer to obtain their clothes andfurnishings at a distinct) lower pric ewith full assurance ofy satisfactoryquality, this offer may be extended ,or else turned into an annual event.As we said above ,

Although it has one of the smallest of al lstanding armies among the great nations o fthe world, the United States last year spen tmore than any other nation on armaments .Other nations spent for arms in the order : So-viet Union, France, Great Britain, Italy Japan ,India, Germany, Spain

,N , rOne of a group of five famous portraits o n

exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum is oneby Samuel Morse, inventor of the telegraph ,who was an artist before he took up invention .

TUUM EST

(Continued from Page One)with large boulders, between whir rwere mats of dwarf Juniper trees . Theclimb along the le lge was made withvery little difficulty, despite the pre -sence of such precipitous surround -ings.

The return to Utopia Lake wa smade without any difficulty. Fineweather prevailed throughout the day ,

On Monday morning the U,B . 0hikers returned to Britannia Beach ,Whilst waiting for the bent, the partywas taken through the concentratorby Ken Dobson, U.B .C . graduate .

BETTER CLOTHES FOR ME NFINE FURNISHING S

* * *On Tuesday night an audience of unimpres-

sive size, including some students, witnesse dthe presentation of scenes from Shakespeare

at Kitsilano High School Auditorium ,The

under the auspices of the L . S. E .L . S. E .

I did not expect great art, nor uldI witness it; but it was a most enjoy-

able evening. Of the small English company ,two actors took all the Shakespearean roles . 'Leslie Manners as Hamlet, Shylock, Mark An-tony and Petruchio was particularly interest-ing, and played the parts well . In some of theexclamations and remarks he dropped Into or-dinary. conversational tones; otherwise theusual declamatory style prevailed.

These intentional lapses seemed to me ef-fective, and I wondered if declamation could bedispensed with almost entirely in Shakespeare .Some of the plays have been 'modernized,' ' Iknow, as regards fashions and probably in de -livery as well . I do not think that I would likethe plays in modern costume, but less declama-tion might be an improvement . Possibly thePlayers' Club will try a Shakespearean experi-ment sometime .

L. S. E. affairs often suffer from lack o fpatronage . A mere handful, for instance, hear dthe fiery Porto Rican debaters last year . Ad-mission to such events is low, and many thinknothing of spending twice as much, and more ,on talkies, dances and games . Is it possiblethat most students are too stupid to have vol . .untary intellectual, cultural and educationa linterests ?

When the L. S. E. sponsors an entertain-ment, it deserves support . Lack of that sup -port indicates a sad state of affairs and showsthat students are not taking proper advantag eof the privileges and opportunities provided byuniversity life. Lack of that support, indeed ,has implications so serious that the Counci land other executives should feel bound t ograpple with the situation in a vigorous andconstructive way. However, it is as yet tooearly in the year to be unduly pessimistic i nthis regard .

NI,~„r„~I,NN .,N~,IN~OrI ryON~O~ON~„~

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Friday, October 16, 1931

THE UBYSSEY

Page ThreeI

ATTENTION :

I had to wash the superstitious last night . I

PUBLICATIONS

OFFICE

ROOM 206

AUDITORIUM

Contributions to this pag emay be left in the

SAY! CAN'T YOU~~,1_,1_N_II_II_Y_IIXXX WrN_/

SOMETIME ? it

Y_„_„_,I_ p_II_II_II_II_NYYMI_4

TAKE A HINT ; Litany Coroner 1

had taken English 1. for three con-secutive years—he probably took acorrespondence course, "Act now--83' lessons only M .34—position guar-anteed!' And look what a nice po-sition he did get. .In a church yard!And not even a fashionable church-yard either . Some obscure littlevillage called Steak-Puddingtoa o rsomething. Just a minute, I'll fin dout—the Literary Editor said it wasStoke Poges, and it may be, for allI know.

. ,Let's see, where was I before I in-

terrupted myself? Oh yes, I was tell-ing you about the enormous amountof mail I've been receiving lately,wasn't I? No? Well, I've told younow, haven't I? So there.

It is some time ago'. now that Istarted my correspondence columnin the Muck page. Although it hasseldom, in fact never, been publishedowing to the lack of pesrp--psrsp- -praplc—er—intelligence on the part ofthe Editor, please do not imagine thatthe good work has been dropped! Where is Mr, Butterfield ?Oh, nuarno. Far otherwise, My mail Mn &metlelebag has been so heavy lately that Where is he?with its aid, and a few shovelfuls of surely the plasmcoal pinched from next door, the of this great debun)cerfurnace has been getting along quits And his dignified Mendsnicely . I must tell you about ourfurnace sometime.

However, I have just time to ans-wer a few letter s . The Editor hashied himself away on a voyage tpfar countries. I think he's down inthe Cat„ but I' m not sure.here's a letter from a Fr

"I am in groat trouble about mypet rabbit. It is, in many ways, anexcellent rabbit, but I find that ithas five 1eNc, instead of four. Is thisusual? The extra leg. gets in the waywhen I want to push it into the hutchand the old leg, being in the centre ,causes it to move in a continue cir-cle . What do you advise ?

(Disappointed) ,Arts '35.

You have my sympathy and I canquite understand both your difficultyand your disappointment . I am afraidyou are right and the rabbit iswrong. It is most unusual for aquadruped to have five legs. It isalso very selfish. Many rabbits haveonly two. Are you sure about thefifth? You haven't counted in it' stail, I suppose? I hardly know whatto suggest. Have you tried pushingthe extra leg in? I wouldn't try pull-ing it out . This might have disas-trous consequences . If it had beenan extra tail, you could have decora-ted it up with a bow, but you coul dhardly do that with an extra leg,could you? It is certainly odd—infact, almost indecent . There seemsso little one can suggest. You mighttry boring a hole in the extra legwith a brace and bit . Than you couldhang it up on a hook . This wouldsave the labor of building anotherhutch, I'm not sure that it wouldsleep in that position, but you couldtry.

Then here's another effusion froma member of the Faculty whose nameI shall not reveal.

"I have a set of false teeth—twocomplete dentures—the appearance ofwhich is excellent and all that couldbe desired . However, of late thelower denture is apt to suddenl ystand on end and bite my upper lip .This is inconvenient, not to say em-barrasing . What do you suggest? "

My dear Professor, what do youthink I am? A garage? Really, thi sone gets past my guard completely .Any ordinary request I can generallysometimes deal with, but this one—I hardly know what to say. It is verydifficult .• I think if I was in your plate-er ,

place—I ' d go to a dentist and hav ethem changed . You might try sum-monsing your dentist for assault, bu twhether you could prove he bit yo uwith your own teeth, is somethingI am not prepared to give , my opinio non. Have you tried changing th eplates? It might make the childre nafraid of you, of course . And thenagain, switching the plates mightmake you bite your lower lip, andthen how could you eat your soup?If it was my, personal problem, Ithink I would turn them out into atwo acre field, surrounded withbarbed wire, and drop a brick on

them whe . i they weren' t looking .seems rather cruel ,

"The postman homeward plods his

weary way ,And leaves the world to letters and

to me."No, Gray did not write that . He

wrote something like It, but, o fcourse, not nearly so good . But thenhe didn't have my advantages, if h e

However, thi sdoesn't it ?

The only thing I coul deithe r

(a) Keep your mouthbl Always close d

(el Both .Id) Ed Note—Remov eGadrooks! The Editor approach-

eth! He looks as if he will drag meaway from my rusty—er, trusty— Itypewriter . Well, Cheerio, old the ; for

suggest is t o

always open

teeth .

I'll be at the Fashion Show. Octo-ber 23 and 24, Hudsons Bay Store .

—Cherub

What People . ReallyAre Sayng

Dr. Sedgewick: William Shakesper eafter all, was , no gentleman .

Pete Frattinger: It's funny, I'mjust built long enough to reach theground. Another two inches and Icouldn't have, made it:

Dr. Sedgewick : If you ask me wha thappened between 1880 and 177¢, Ican answer you in one word, "Hell."

Prof F . G. C. Wood : A cherub nowand then is all right, but when youhave nineteen of them grinning atyou .

Prof . Wilcox:1.These papers will be marked

with an almost savage ferocity.2 .—this passage refers to Helen of

Troy—and other places.3,—and this passage refers to El-

eanor, the wife of Henry II, She wasa very experienced woman—he' washer third husband . She literally gotmarried all over the map .

Nelson Allan: I've been trying foryears to get in W. P. A. S .

Cherub : Here's a problem ,am I good-looking -

¼2un, s O

ITALIAN WORDSTHE TOURISTSHOULD KNOW

My cerebellum' sSlightly stiffSo I'll seek quietOr a cliff .I think dear ReaderThat's sniff.Tra la la la .

I'm frightened lestThe Ed-in-ChiliShould end this effortWith a biffSo while I'm hereA lissen giff.Tra la la Is.

The HottentotsIs neededTo lendAppropriate patronageTo these time-honored

IFtTra l 1* laOh what's the dillMy little storyWill

brit!And :everythI -'-Win rhyme with if .

Though English criticsWell may sniffThe whole darn thingMust rhyme with ifSo we'll be finishedIn a jiff.Tra la la la . .

HAVE YOU SEEN HIM ?ALAS ,It seemsThat ArtamenAnd SciencmenHave againMetIn aromatic opposition,BeholdAnd lo,We haveDe panting Artamen ,Baptismal Scienoemen,One polluted pond,And other educational exhibits.And yetThere isSomething lacking

Ofte nWonder why ,TheMan whoPaint sAll day longOn theGranville Street BridgeDoes notWearHis Science sweaterForHe clearly is,A Science manBec#useHe only doesThe same thingAll day long .

Ed .a while .

Note : Maybe

He got me

corpulent once

revels ?—R. A. P.

way in

girls :

e' e e e

WHAT NEXT!Down in San Quentin, California State Prison, the inmates

can enroll as extra-mural students of the University of Cali-fornia. And of the 5000 convicts, over half of them are takin gadvantage of this privilege .

,And they pay no fees. Next fall, if I fail to return toU. B. C., don't think that I have fallen by the wayside and leftcollege for good. Oh no! I'll be down in my private cell in Sa nQuentin with a slide-rule in one hand and a philosophy bookin the other, trying to get something (if a college education i ssomething) for nothing .

It ought to be easy to get board and lodging down there .The best plan, I believe, would be to allow myself to be arrestedfor stealing. If the judge acquitted me, I could shoot him . IfI was acquitted for doing that, I could appeal the case . Even-tually I would find myself in a cell, perhaps a padded cell . Andthen I could get my free college education .

I can only guess what courses are popular this year at Sa nQuentin . I should imagine, since hundreds of the prisoners ar elaboring daily among the rocks, that the class in Geology wouldbe large. Ex-bootleggers, of course, are studying OrganicChemistry; bank bandits are learning Economics and the busi-ness of Banking. Gangsters are probably swotting at GroupPsychology.

Men doomed to die in the electric chair are probably givena chance to enroll in a short course in Mathematics or Physics .After studying Maths, until the date of their execution, the ywould, no doubt, be ready to sit through it all . If they crammedthe essentials of Physics into their heads they would learn al labout electricity and its properties and they could go to thei rdeath with Ohm's Law on their lips . Ed. Note:—How come"Extra-m'tral students? "

ETAOIN AND COLLEGE HUMORThere is a newcomer to the pages of the "Ubyssey" who i s

a stranger to many . I refer to Mr. Zilch, The appearance ofMr Zilch's name on the Muck-a-Muck page will not be toler-ated. However, in this case it is a necessity . We, the disciplesof Shrdlu Etgoin, wish to state our case .

First for the benefit of the Freshmen, I will relate the oft-told legend of Etaoin and his deadly rival, College Humor . Atthe top of this page in the right-hand corner is the smiling fac eof Shrdlu Etaoin, Muse of Muck . On my left, the boy with th epickle fork, is College Humor . Below the title of "Muck-a-Muck" is depicted an unholy battle between 18 (count 'e myourself) of Shrdlu's warriors and 31 devils . The 18 red-skinswith their tomahawks are getting the best of it ; and the forces ofCollege Humor are (as a former Muck writer puts it) "havinga devil of a time fighting Shrdlu, who has been giving themhell ."

Now this Mr. Zilch happens to be an offspring of CollegeHumor. Born and reared between the pages of that periodical ,he comes to us uninvited and expects us to welcome him wit hopen arms .

It can't be done, Mr. Zilch ,

You, Too, Can Learn This Trick At Nome

MUCKING WITH SHRDLU

BY TOM HOW

The next item on our program wil lbe a parody of the song "We WannaGo Back to Michigan."We wanna go back to U.B.C .To dear Vancouver townBack to the Arts and Science feuds ,Back to the Students' Council prudes .Oh, we wanna go back to U .B.C .But it ain't for such as we,We wanna go back (we wanna go

backTo U. B. C .What if we had to pay all the bill sJust think of all th! fociThe Freshmen in the Lily PondScaring the frogs of Good King

John.Oh you don't know what you mean

to us,Oh dear old Varsity,We wanna go back, we wanna g o

backTo U. B. C .

Voices in dead of night .Himie—"Wake up, quick, wake up! "Root—"Can't."Himie—"Why not?"Root—"Ain't sleeping,"

Guide—"Now we shall see the sar-cophagus of King Tut,"

Bashful Old Maid—"I'd better wai there. "

Times are so hard the gigolos aredancing with one another in Germany .

News Item:Burglar finds lady in bath . Covers

her with his revolver .

Small boy, to butcher after breakingwindow, "I'll square things, Mr ,Brown—I'll autograph the ball,"—Ex ,

ninety-five cents ,want to break a

Detective:—I had a hard case lastweek .

Friend .—What was it ?Detective:—Well, a man was shot .

The knife was found by his side. Wh odo you think poisoned him ?

Friend ;—Who?Detective : — Nobody . He hanged

himself .—Ex ,

Himie :—What's the difference be-tween an elephant and a can of to-matoes?

Vance :—1 can't even th'.nk of a re -semblance .

Himle :—Noither can ride a bicycle .

Cherub :—I thought the Hotel Van-couver was a Yiddish Hotel becaus ethe waiters always come around say-ing "Jewish coffee?" But now I kno wit's not .

Gordy Root,—How come ?Cherub: "I heard a guy say, "No !

Irish tea, "

He drank the nectar from her lip sAs by the kitchen fire they sat,

And wondered if any other guyHad ever drunk from a mug lik e

that.

Radioland

weather.If your McNutt, Nitwitt and Daunm

bathing suit should ever be staine dby the water, we advise you to 'oakthe McNutt, Nitwitt and Dumm, bath-ing suit in anything that you havehandy except "McNutt, Nitwitt andDumm Cleaner, Especially PreparedFor Cleansing McNutt, Nitwitt an dDurum Bathing Suits . "

The Burble Sisters will now read"Tutu Little Girls in Blue" which re -minds us that all McNutt, Nlrwnttanal Dumm bathing suits cane inevery reoopnired shade, includi th eScandinavian . Here they are folks,a+:d don't f'r`et that McNutt, N40ttand Dumm bathing suits can be ob-tained at your local grocer's .

Well! Now that that's over let eratell you of another contest beingbacked by the McNutt, Nitwitt an dDumm Bathing Suit Co, Ltd . In thewindow of the 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, etc .Cent Store there is a McNutt, Nit-witt and Dumm bathing suit whichhas been worn once. If you are ableto distinguish ,the suit from the back -ground, the suit is yours . Rememberif it's a McNutt, Nitwitt and Dummbathing suit it's the best show intown. And this brings to a close theperiod sponsored by McNutt, Nitwittand Dumm, makers of ultra modernbathing suits. This is radio station0-0-0, now signing off at exactly1 :37% Pacific standard time, by th eHellova Watch. Good afternoonkiddies.

Lapses and Relapses

Culled From Council

Earl Vance (at supper) : Let's getMr. Williams down here to conductthe soup .

Council in Chorus: No olives forsupper? We'll resign.

Bill Whlmster: I paid five centsfor a three cent paper. The A.M.S .is gypped again .

Jack Thomson: (after voting Ag-riculture club expenses for dairy-judging competition) . And we surehope they know their cows .

President L.S .E . to Treasurer A.M. -S . : Hey, are you sitting on thosebiscuits?

President M,A,A, : Excuse me talk-ing with my mouth open .

Earl Vance : —some small subjec tlike "World Depression, It's causearid cure "

President M . A. A . : How do you getone good team out of two punkteams?

NOTICEWe have discovered how the Fac-

ulty solves the problem of left -handed writers in the classroom . Asthe Reader no doubt knows, a dis-crepancy occurs at the end of eachrow of seats . By seating an armlessperson at the end of these rows th edifficulty is easily and simply over -come . Another method would be t oseat the` southpaw in a reverse po-sition . That is, let the student si twith his or her back to the profes-sor . This idea is not feasible duringexaminations, Voila.

Yeah, the war cost Sandy an arm .He couidn t bring himself to thro waway a I'Fnd grenade,—Es ,

"So long, sue you later, ""Not if I sue you first ."—Ex .

"This will remove your had breath, "assured the hangman as he adjuste dthe noose around the criminal's nec k

—Ex.

Part FiveFrom my position behind the doors

I could see into the dim interior ofthe cavern . Across the room stolethe intrepid pair, each step bringingthem nearer to a shapeless tarpaulin -covered thing that stood in the cor-ner . Emile stooped and lifted up thecorner of the covering.

At this moment the great detectiv ebroke the silence with the words ,"Do you know I've changed myname? "

"No," remarked the unbelievingEmile.

"Sure thing," came the reply,"somebody or other doesn't like it ,so I've decided to change It to SiloRants."

"Good idea" grunted Emile, "I nev-er did like your other name any.how . "

"O. K," said Rants. Let's get onwith our investigation"

At these words Emile oompletidlifting up the corner of the tarpaulin.

There lay row upon row of neatlyslacked Handbooks . Each row beingseparated from the other by somemore Handbooks,

"Ahat" snarled Rants,' "Counterfei-ters, eh? "

No sooner had the words left hislips than a purring voice broke in onthe conversation, !T'm sorry gentle-men, but I must ask you to *lent*your hands."

On the other side of the stick etbooks stood a hooded figure, an Mto •matte pistol grasped in each gloved 'hand. On either side of the antralfigure shadowy forms were

From behind the door I countedat least five of these skulking stir.midons. Now was the time for tot.ion. Taking my trusty pipe from mypocket, I shouted, "You go to Ham-let, and see how you like It!"

Wheeling in his tracks the hoode dleader fired a single shot in my di-rection . T'bootstruck my lid, _bounced a' b t the oii1ttg 400t•,pletsd, 40 dire* mud died.A .wielder oil the gu Mired In ashen-ishment, From his lips poured thous -ands of Chinese ejaculations, such as"Oolam dah," Pas du tout" (fatherof twins) and "Alum Est," but thoseare only a few. "Ahal" I yipped."Not for nothing did I play soave I nmy infancy, "

A shivering sigh burst from the lip sof the astounded Chang Suey, for sothe leader proved to be. Raising hishand for silence, and also for exer-cise, he moved forward to speak . Butat that moment I showed the ste mof my (not really mine) pipe ur dcried, "Up with your hands, all ofyou! "

Instantly the hooded leader dis-appeared from our sight. A trap doorin the floor had opened and swol.lowed him up . At that moment thesound of the weird machine we wereseeking came to our ears; From be-neath the floor came the awfulscreaming laughter of a madman.

Emile turned to me and said, "It' sthat infernal crime wave machine ofhis, Oscar. We'll all be murderingeach other in a few seconds, as soonas he can focus the ray on us."

(To Be Continued)

What People Ought

To Be Saying

Ev, King: I think debating is asilly subject . I'd much rather beSports Editor .

Dr. Sedgewick : Mr. Larsen and Iboth agree on the subject .

Gordy Root: I'm not going to usethe word "Pal" any more .

Himie: No, I'm not so fussy aboutsteak and onions .

Paul Koozoolin: I'm a mysogynist ,Lukie: No. I never write to boys '

in Michigan .Kiku: It's no trouble at all to drive

a car.Wilf Lee : Cherub, you must cut

down your staff .Sinjin: New, I don't want a bite o f

your chocolate bar .Mollie Jordan : What, in W.P.A .S .

again . I'm getting tired of havingmy name there.

Tom How: Gee, but slide rules areeasy to manipulate .

Aqua: I'm just a little drink.

Betty—"Stop! Don't do that . Stop !Do you hear me? Stop! "

Paul--"What do you think you'redoing? Writing a telegram? "

Mac 71i a -MacFrom far-off Michigan comes this

lonely cry: the moaning of a home -sick, seasick, lovesick, and even Hat-zic, Ex-Sports Editor. Never min dTalcum ole sock, we miss you too .We don't know what to do with ou rloose change any more.—Ed . Note .

~ . .The True Story of the Origin of the

Frogs in the Lily Pond .by Maybelle McGillicuddy

Once upon a time there was alonely Freshman, so lonely and de-serted by all . Even his fellow class-men shunned him, for after all hisbest friends would not tell him. Itwas the custom of this little boy towander throughout the campus,thinking About We and what hewould do when he grew up. OtherFreshmen could go about havingtheir noses pulled by prominent pro-fessors, or being compulsorily bathe dby philanthropic sophmores, but nothe. He was a thing apart just likethe Science faculty .

He gradually grew bitter, and moreand more homesick. He determinedhe would make iomeone speak tohim. He wended his way to Riding -tea castle thinking in his ignorancethat this was the best place to findstudents and on the way he spied amen approaching. The man wastalking to himself, ' He was talkingabout a woman called Jane.

It was now or never.Our hero stood In the path of the

mat. Re stopped him. He shouted,"Speak to met"

The man threw him in the LilyPond.

The Freshman was not old enoughto swim and so he perished . Hewould have remained in the pondwith the lilies and the lunch papersjust like all freshmen who arethrown in annually. But his casewas different. He was innocent ofcrime and so the bearded god of theCastle took pity on him and changedhint into a frog. But in the trans?formation the Freshman lost every-thing except his color and now hesits spouting his wrath at the world .

But the god of the Caetla .realleedthat the Freshman would be lonelyin the lily pond, so, still being in agenial ' mood, he went to the Cat„picked up the first Freshman he trodon, and, taking him under his arm.carted him over the campus and de-posited him gently but firmly in thesacred pool . He too became a frog.He too remained green. He too spoutshis wrath at all and sundry and hi sfellow-frog in particular. And therethey are and will remain until th enext Arts-Science battle demolishesthe ornaments in the Lily Pond .

Po—Not wealthy.Vatican—To become

more.Fiume—Carbon monoxide .Mussolini—To wedge your

with.Signors—One who does wrong :sin g

you Signors, sing .Venice—Statue without arms.—Ex ,

;2030 1/alga de--G. P. Himie ;—Lend me

that'll hold him will ya? I don'tdollar, —Ex .

_11_11_II_YY_II_p_IY_in_II_p_YM_I,_II_XI_W _N_XI_ W _,4rp_Y,_Xq_X IMU.CKATOR.IA L

We're so proud of ourselves now that we no longer gazewith awe and wonder at the Editor-in-Chief of our wuthy joinal .Last issue we had our page all set up by seven-thirty P.M. This ,in itself, is something to toot our editorial horn about . No, wehaven't bought a new hat yet . We don't wear one, anyway .

Our most humble apologies to "Yes-I think so!" Really, wecouldn't get you in. The distribution of ads left us no otheralternative, We won't permit it to happen again if we can helpit.

Once upon a time there was a Sports Editor; he was a verysporty Sports Editor. Accordingly, he never looked where hewas going, and one day 'bumped into something. After apologiz-ing profusely, he found it was a telephone pole . This story ispurely theoretical. If, however, the pole had been a column,he would have apologized to i column.

Q. E. D.

The News Manager just asked me how we can apologize t oa column. If you don't know how the following story will en-lighten you .

aura.

Times are so hard that the Indi arubber man had to contract to tak e

My girl dresses in three things, and , the place of the midget in the side -two of them are shoes; Ex,

I show,

Good afternoon Boys and Girls.This is Uncle Rufus speaking to you ,and bringing the program sponsore dby McNutt, Nitwitt and Dumm. Re-member, kiddies„ that if you havenot been swimming in a McNutt, Nit-witt and Dumm bathing suit, yo uhave missed the point of this broad -cast . The first number on our pro-gram has been cancelled, so our firs tselection will be the second number .However, we will omit that too andgo on with our talk.

This week McNutt, Nitwitt an dDumm are sponsoring a contestwhich takes the form of a Trans -Lily-Pondine Natatorial Champion-ship. The record holder in this con -test is Mr. St, John Madeley whocovered the gruelling course in thesplendid time of nothing flat, Mr .Madeley gives all the credit to hisMcNutt, Nitwitt and Dumm bathingsuit. "If I had worn any other typeof swimming costume," stated Mr.Madeley, "I would most certainlyhave won the contest." As it Is Mr.Madeley won by default. This is aglorious boost for McNutt, Nitwittand Dumm bathing suits, AU Mc-Nutt, Nitwitt and Dumm bathingsuits are made from the highest grad eburlap, and are guaranteed to lastat least twenty feet, Another sped .!al feature incorporated in the Me-Nutt, Nitwitt and Dumm bathingsuit is the non-ravelling weave of theburlap, The next item on our pro .gram is entitled "Two Little Girls

The above picture show a man performing one of the many

for In Blue" This reminds w that ailtricks that are explained in the new series of articl written by

u„Morm% Nitwitt and Durarn bathin gMometerI ~11yone can bepopylar with the aid of my little set of booopined Mr. Mometer in an interview granted to the press, "but not without suits are weather proof, and kee pa certain amount of practice ."

!the wearer warm in all kinds ' ofThe trick shown hers is very complex, and requires a vast amountof piano wire, The feet are suspended from any convenient chandelier withthe aid of the said wire . A belt provided with a loop is the next Tits .More piano wire is passed through a hook in the ceiling and throw y ~belt loop, to help hold up the would-be parlor entertainer . A thin rp ofpiano wire, provided with a running noose, is placed about the neck th etrickster, so as to relieve still more weight from the chandelier . If evholds after testing, grasp any round object in the hands, and imitateSuccess is guaranteed.

IN~J The Great PIA

Hand book Mystery11_N_YI-W Y9_YI_YI_YI_11_II_

•

Page Four T H E UBYSSEY

Friday, October 16, 1931mow.•

....~.

•~„OO, ..••~o.er.IM.

I.

Varsity VictoriousOver Newcomers

In Athletic Meet

DICK'S

Reorganization Sal e

Junior

In

occer

Tilts S

Grid Squad

Over Week-end COn quer s

300 SUITS ANDOVERCOATS

Values to $35.00E Y MODEL—EVERYFA C=EVERY COLOR

Basketers

In Island

,tourneyVarsity Junior Soccer team went

down' to defeat on Saturday at the

e ra- OM aShands of Woodland Thistles by ascore of 8-0 . The Thistles gave aclever exhibition of ball control andfast accurate passing which baffled

Varsity's senior gridders will go allout for victory when they tackleWestminster Dodekas, Saturday, atQueen's perk. The collegians will at-tempt to wipe out the defeat theySuffered at the hands of the RoyalCity squad when they received a 5- 1setback, The varsity team are cent, -dent of a tpin after their !tsplredshowing against Meralotas.

Top Brown will be back in the lineto alternate with Purdue at snapwhile Jack Steele, tricky backfieldman, will still be out Of the gameowing to injuries received in the firs t'game of the season, Doug,MMclaty e ,who led Varsity to triumph In thegame against Meradotnnu will also b eout owing to a bad blow he receivedon the ankle . His piece on the teamwill be had to till... .Ian Morrison will return after anabsence of one tussle to take up hi sposition at inside while Ernie Peden,who was elected captain of the teamrecently, will play Inside Instead ofmiddle. The rest of the team will taketheir usual places with no startlingchange of lineup . According to John-nie McLean, president of the club,Varsity should win with ease.

An inspired Varsity grid team camefrom behind in the last few minute sof the game against Meralomas tosnatch victory from defeat and t odown the Clubbers 12.8, Saturday,afternoon. This comes as sweet re-venge for the losses Varsity suffere dlast year at the hands of the Kiteil-anoans when they twice defeated theCollegtlans In the last few minutesof the game.

In the first quarter Meralomasblocked a Varsity kick and rushedover in time to gain the first scor eof the game. The try was improvedand from then on Varsity started topress and for the most of the gameleapt the opposition penned up wit hrushes down the field.

All clothing of quality . Thesmartest of styles, the finest

of fpb~rigcs, together with exper t

taikirl .In this range are all-wooltweeds, fine worsteds and pur ebotany wool guaranteed sages.The price has been deeply cut.

A Real "Ivy

5

Badminton Club

To Enter Three

Teams in League

Varsity Badminton Club has bee nable to enter three teams in the Van-couver Badminton League this year ,one in the B Division and two in theC. The B team plays against sevenother clubs for possession of theParting= Cup, while the two Cteams, each of equal standing, are in

e two divisions of the C league .The winner of section 1 plays thewinner of section 2 for the R. E .Guryther Cup .

First half of the schedules havebeen drawn up. B division Vapdtyplays B . C. Regiment. October 24, atbrill Hall, 8 pan; Hill Club on Octo-ber 28 at Hill Club; Quilchena onOctober 28 at Varsity; New West-minster on November 7 at New West-minster; Vancouyer on November 1 1at Varsity and North Vancouver onNovember 18 at North Vancouver .

In C division, section 1 Varsityplays Shaughnessy on October 28 atShaughnessy ; Vancouver Heights o nNovember 4 at Varsity ; Ioco on No-vember 11 at I000; North Vancouveron November 18 at Varsity and Wes tEnd on November 21.

In C division, section 2 Varsit yplays Normal Grads on October 21at Normal ; Port Moody on Novem-ber 13 at Port Moody ; B. C. Regi-ment on November 25 at Varsity andNew Westminster on December 1 a tNew Westminster .

All members of the Club whowould like to try out for positionson any of the teams are asked to at -tend all the practised especially Sat-urday afternoon. 'The Gym has beenobtained for tomorrow, October .1 7from 12:80 to 3 :00 p.m. Any one wish-ing to play regularly on Saturdayafternoon is asked to sign the sheetin the Gym.

HASTINGS AT HOMER

In the game between U. B. C. andEx-Tech, U. B. C. proved itself descledly superior, carrying the figh tto the mooing team for the first McIntyre glared a brilliant gam ehalf of the game . Most of the play 1In the backfield and assisted greatl yduring this half was within Ex, a with his Wrist* runs in gaining aTech's 25 yard line, and was marked victory for the blue and gold . Di-by considerable penalty kicking. ram's plunges had the spectators onTwice the blue and gold failed toscore on these kicks but on the thirdattempt, Barrett converted . Moye swas accepting passes very well, giv-ing his team a chance to break awayfrom their opponents. Barrett ac-cepted a pass from Moyes and score dthe only touch of the game. In thesecond half Ex-Techs made a des-perate attempt to even the score bu tfailed through lack of team work .They scored their only points on apenalty kick .

Freshmen Win ,

Grid

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WE GREATLY 'APPRECIATE YOURPATRONAGET HIS RESTAURANT has

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Our beat efforts areyours to command .

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Varsity upset all the dope when they scored a decisive victor yover the Fresh on the new oval Wednesday afternoon . The newtrack was somewhat soft and as a result the times were not ex-ceptionally good. But two records fell, Haddon Agnew throw-ing

edle h us 123ietLn9 the girl's eight-a-side relay team cov -

eringThe sprints uncovered a new star in the person of Bill Stott ,

who showed real class in copping the 100 and 220 dashes fro msuch men as Bob Osborne and Max Stewart . Miss EstherPaulin took away honors in the girl's division, winning both the80 and 100 yard sprints in handy style . Haddon Agnew, afreshman, won the javelin, shot-put and discus . Harry Prevey ,exchange student from Alberta, arrived when the jumps wer ehalf over, bid succeeded in'capturing the event with a jump of5 feet. Jumpers found the runway much too soft, as it had beenprepared but one hour before the start .

P@1wy and Gordon Root could not ---

wane to a decision in the pole vault,

and had to split the points . The last SOCaRITEStrack event of the day was probably

the best . Max Stewart, (who hasn' t

been to Varsity for seven years) ,

Bob Osborne, and P. S. Campbell BREAK EVENtore down the stretch in the 400-yard

race to finish practically in a deadheft, The fudges caught them Inthe above order .

A fait-sited crowd attended, every-one being unanimous in the opinion'that the new oval should do muc htowards reviving interest in track.Col. Wilkin and John Muter acted asjttiigia, BW Lucas was timer, and J.Irvine fired the gun. Ralph Thomaswas general supervisor, and was as -doted by 'Bob Alpen. These boyskept things hustling and each racewas run on schedule.

Results : 100.yard dash—Bill Stott(T), Max Stewart (V), Bob Osborne(V) . Time: 10 and one-fifth seconds .

i00~yand dash—women — Esthe rPaula (V), Beatrice Sutton (Vo ,

tree (V) . Time: 12 andtwoafft seconds .

One t ermm—Jimry Dunn (V) ,Qeorge Aflsn (V), A. Thain (V) .

Irref : 54 and two-fifths seconds210 yerds—men--Bill Stott (F), Bo b

Osborne (V), Max Stewart (V) .Time: 24 and one-fifth seconds.

X80-yards—women — Esther Paulin(V), Beatrice Sutton (V), LaurelRowntree (V) . Time: 8 seconds .

880-yards—men—Alfie Allan (V) ,R. Forsyth (V), H . F. Salisbury (V) .Time : 2 min. 11 seconds,

Women's Relay—Varsity (L . Rown-tree, M . Wilson, N . Jackson, F. Quail,N. Carter) . (J. Hlggenbothem, B .Sutton, and Esther Paulin) . Time : 1min. 59 seconds. (A new record) .

3 Mile race—men—Sinclair (V) ,Thain (V) . Time: 17 min. 7 sec .

440-yards—men—Max Stewart (V) ,Bob Osborne (V), P . S. Campbel l(V) . Time: 54 and one-fifth seconds .

Men's high jump—Harry Prevey(V), 5 feet; Rolfe Forsythe (V), JackMillican (F) .

a bewildered U. B. C . squad . At halftime the score was 2-0, but after theoranges, Woodland ran wild to scor ethree goals in rapid succession. Al.though the Varsity defense tightenedup somewhat, the opposition ran i nthree more counters before the fina lwhistle .

In, Monday's game, the same squa dlost a close decision at !Irishmanfrom the Richmond team. As Inds •ccted by the soon! of 2.2, the Fann-ers were barely value for a win, 'playbeing very close and even, Rich-mond opened hostilities with a goalabout twenty minutes from the start ,but Atwater equ .lized soon afterwith a hard, low drive which gavethe Richmond net-minder no chanc eto save . No further scoring occurreduntil after half-time, when the LuluIslanders had the beat of matters t othe tune of 2 goals to Varsity's one ,and accounted for the final score-Varsity 2, Richmond 3 .

Senior A basketball team brokeeven on the Vancouver Island gameslast week-end. The Canadian Champ-ions lost to Nanaimo in a close gameon Friday 16-19, and then beat Al-berni 39.17 in the other game Satur-day .

Pi Campbell, peerless forward ,leading scorer of the V. and D.league last year, and Bulldog Chap -man, stellar defense man, missed theNanaimo boot Friday night and didnot play in Nanaimo. They managedto get over in time to Join the squadon Saturday before they left for Al-berni . Apparently the team misse dthese two men in the Friday nightgame .

The first game with Nanaimo wasa thriller. Varsity opened the scoringand were leading 8 .0 halfway throughthe pitied, but could not hold themine boys to this score. The locallads wiped out this lead and thescore was even at half-time. In thesecond half the locals, who were inbetter condition than the collegeteam, ran in enough baskets to hol doff a U. B. C. rally near the end ofthe game . The miners used a zone de-fense system throughout, as opposedto a mat-to-man defense used by thestudents. Lorne Falconer, hustlingmanager of the students, had,. to playin this game owing to the absence o fChapman and Campbell . The Island -dens sent word back to sign him o nthe squad . Bob Osborne, lankyyoung guard and the most promisin gdefense man in B . C. topped the Var-sity scoring and was ' the individualstar of the game along with Cyclon eLee and L. Nicholson. Little BobbyMcDonald played a great game forhis initial senior start. Eddie Arm-strong sprained his ankle during th egame. This was a sad blow to theVarsity 'hopes, as Eddie Is a star per-former . and knows where the basketit located .

The team for this game was : Os•borne (8) . Lee (4), Armstrong (2) ,Nicholson (2), McDonald and Fal-coner .

The Champs met Chapman andCampbell in Nanaimo on Saturda yand proceeded to Alberni where the ywere the star attraction at the offic-ial opening of the new Alberni Gym .

The game with Alberni was a dif-ferent story from the Nanaimo bat-

IN GAMES

Rugger Teams

Divide Games

In Miller Cep

Varsity's Miller Cup English rugbyteams broke even Saturday at Brock-ton Point when U. B. C. scored a de-•cisive9.3 win over Ex-Tech and Var-sity lost a hard fought game to th emore experienced Ex-King Georg eoutfit by a score of E•0.

Varsity took the lead in the newInter•Scholarastic Canadian Rugbyloop, when the Fresh trounced Van-couver College in the opening game .This league is a three .team organ-ization and a new step in the ever,advancing progress of Canadian Rug iby. Varsity Fresh, Vancouver Col-lege, and Magee High . School willbattle for the La Brie Cup, whic hhas been secured for the leagu echampionship.

The Frosh scored two touchdownsagainst a touchdown, a convert an da deadline kick, to pound out a 10-8victory.

The team was: Haggerty, Hindle,Falconer, Mather, Henderson, Mc-Crimmon, Chrysdale, Bricker, Collins,Morrow, Gouminlouk, Guyer, Dwyer ,Odium, Anthony, Knight, Kirby,Johnston .

]den's broad jump—Bob Osborne(V)—17 feet, 10 In ; Hugh Ormsby(V), Rolfe . Forsythe (V) .

Women's broad jump — Laure lRowntree (V), J, Reed (V), N. Jack-son (V) .

Pole vault—Tie : Gordon Root andHarry Prevey—9 feet, 7t in .

Javelin throw—H. N. Agnew (F)—120 ft. 4 in; H. McKitrich (F), DenisNicol (V) .

Discus throw—H . N. Agnew (F) —122 and eight-tenths ft; A. McGuire(V), R. Walker (F) .

(This also is a new record) .Shot put—H. N. Agnew ()—32 ft .

91n; A. McGuire (V), Denis Nicol(V) .

Hammer throw—Denis Nicol (V) —54 feet, J . Millicap (F) .

League Schedule Is As FollowsOctober 14 — College vs. U. B. C.October 21 Magee vs . CollegeOctober 28 — U. 'B. C. vs. MageeNovember 4 — U. .B. C. vs. CollegeNovember 11 — College vs. MageeNovember 18 — Magee vs . U. B. C.

Women's high Jump—Nancy Carter(V)-4 feet, 1 in.; Janet Higginbot- I reason of a back-charge against Todd .

hem (V), Nina Jackson (V) . From then on Pt. Grey had a slightedge until half-time . In the secondhalf, even play continued to be theorder of the game with both goat ,sustaining some very narrow escapes ,until Frattinger was beaten and Pt .Grey garnered the equalizing marker .

The team: Frattinger, McGill, andGrant ; Certain, Kozoolin, and Mac -Dougal ; Reid, Cooke, Muncie, D.Todd and L. Todd.

After two hard. games over theweek-end, Varsit's .Senior Soccer.men emerged with a draw, a loss ,and a number of injuries . Satur.day's game at Cambie Street sa wthe Chinese Students' victorious bya 3-0 scorn. while Monday's gamewith Pt. G: ey United at Kerrlsdaleresulted in a 2-2 draw .

The first game was extremely fast,with a hard ground and a light ball .Varsity kicked off against the sun,and continued on the attack, but th eforwards could not get their shotson goal although they managed toforce several corners. Play nextswitched to end rushes on the par tof both teams, and the Orientalsscored their first two goals, one ofthem being via the penalty routewhen the Varsity goal-tender pushedan enterprising Chinese forward outof the way. Soon after the interval ,the sons of the far East added thei rfinal counter, and a belated blue an dgold rally failed to reduce the Chi-nese margin of victory.

The game on Monday was alsoplayed at top speed, with the Varsity

tie . The Canadian Champs foun dtha

n side showing on Saturday .

farDave

betterTodd go tadvantage `their feet and with the team at full

away soon after the opening whistle strength Coasters to the

waltzedtune of

through39 .17

the West, Theand put his team ,one up when h e

drove In a hard shot for the first game was too one-sided to be inter •tally of the game. Pt . ' Grey equal• eating .

. scoring The whol

e honours andteam

there wa sshared in

'zed shortly after however, with an no one man outstanding. The teamunstoppable drive which struck the was the same as that for the firs

tunderside of the bar. Play was fast game with the exception of Arm -

and fairly even for some time, when strong and Falconer and the additio nDave Todd again broke into the scor -ing column by converting a penalty Doc Thorpe accompanied the tea

mwhich was conceded to Varsity by as trainer and Jack Thomson as

Student Council representative. Thi sIs a new procedure with travellin gVarsity teams

The team following this trip wil lnow get down to serious conditionin gfor the league schedule which start searly in November, Wally Mayersand Ken McDonald will be out earlynext week and with the addition of agood guard the boys will present avery formidable line for the openin gof the Melon tossing season .

The Ridgeweli

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their feet as he gained yard afteryard with mighty heaves through th eline. Dick Farrington at end playedthe game of his grid career and heldthe Meralomas from returning kickstime and again .

It was in the second half that Var-sity started its inspired offensive wit han aerial attack that had the defend-ers bewildered. Dirom ran 40 yardsto place the b ll over the line whenhe galloped through a huge hole ,warded off two Meraloma tacklersand then safely crossed for Varsity' sfirst touch . The try was not convert -ed . At this time McIntyre was con-tinually putting the blue and goldwithin scoring distance with hi stricky broken-field runs .

Parker of the,Meralomas caught aVarsity punt behind his own line andwas unable to return when tackledby two Varsity men and thus thestudents gained a safety touch tomake the score 7 .8 in their favor .

Varsity fell on the ball when Mer-alom$s fumbled near their own lineand then Dirom carried the ball eightyards through the line with one ofhis mighty plunges . Murdock carriedthe ball the remaining yard to mak ethe tally 12 .8 for Varsity . The gameended almost immediately after thisscore.

The entire Varsity team played agreat game in the second halt andvindicated themselves as a threat tothe rest of the teams in the league .The one fault of the college side wa sthat they were unable at times to ge ttheir kicks away clearly, due to th eline not holding .

Scintillations From A Recent Ex-Bus Drivers' ConventionGrass Hockey Club

To Field One .Team

surmal.lawy

HANDBOOKS (This Year's)

TOTEMS (Last Year's)

NOW ON SAL E

at

BUSINESS OFFIC E

Room 303 Auditorium

HELPING HiNTWHY NOT TEAR OUT SEATS

EX- 0uS DRIVER HAt(E9AND INSTALL SHELVES IN (ASSES?

AFoRTUNE AS ASARDINE PAcI(ER

vowlatFu1. PafsoN 7b OEGIVEN 'lb PERSONS WH OOCT OFF THE MR. BOSSESON THE WAY ow'.

University Book StoreHours : 9 a.m. to 5 p .m . ; Saturdays, 9 a .m. to 1 p .m ,

' f 1tbRIUfR NOW COME Y0U GOT ONLY 'MN eMORE IN THAT FULL BUSS ,

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The U. B. C. team was as follows :Barrett, Moyes, K. Mercer, A. Mer-cer, Dalton, Ellis, Maxon, Mitchell ,Bell-Irving, Hotson, Davidson, Ak•hunt and Brand .

In the second game, Ex-KingGeorge, an older and more experi-enced squad, had most of the play ,penning Varsity in its own half ofthe field for the greater part of th efirst half. Fine tackling by the blu eand gold defense was all that pre-vented the score from mountitng . t omuch greater proportions. Nibloscored on' a penalty while Archibal dwent over for a try for the Ex-King'stotal scoring of the game.

In the second half Varsity woke u pand carried the fight right back toenemy territory. The Greenshirtswere equal to the occasion, however,and prevented any scoring, to holdtheir 6 .0 lead throughout the remain-der of the game.

Varsity was represented by : Rob-bins, Stewart, Stoble, Cleveland ,Pugh, Gaul, Tye, Worthington, D .Brown, Rogers, Senkler, Pearson ,Weld, Hendley and B . Brown .

Both English Rugby squads are ingood shape for to-morrow's games .The U.B .C. team meets the Ex-Magee,outfit and are confident that theycan take this battle. However, theVarsity have a much harder taskahead of them. They will meet th efast moving Rowing Club, who, asof yet have not lost a game and wh olead the league .

The Varsity crew intends to tak ethe Rowers, and have been trainingvery hard for the last week with thisin view. They will have the servicesof Cleveland at fullback, who has notbeen out before this season, but asan experienced and capable playe rshould add considerable strength tohis squad .

Students have an excellent chanc eto see both these teams in action .Both games are to be played at th eoval . U. B. C. will kick off at 1:15and Varsity will start immediatelyafter at 3 :15 .

The teams will be : U. B. C .—back-field, Ramber, Barratt, Owen C . Dal -ton, A. Mercer, K. Mercer, D. Ellis,Moyes, Mitchell, Mason, Bell-Irving ,Brand, Nixon, Davidson, Ackhurst .

Varsity—backfield : H. Cleveland,Hanbury, C . Cleveland, Gaul, Stobie,Stewart, Pye, Pugh. Forwards —Brown, Weld, Hadley, Rogers, H.Pearson, Sinclair, D. Brown,

ALL YOUR BOOK SUPPLIES SOLD HERE

The Men's Grass Hockey Club heldtheir annual fall banquet meeting I nthe faculty dining room of the Caf-eteria . Professor H. T. Logan, Hon-orary President of the Club and Prof .W. G. Black and Mr. F. Hann of theMainland Hockey league were prom-inent guests of the Club .

New members were welcomed intothe fold, and everyone took part i na lively discussion with reggrd to thequestion of entering only one tea minstead of two as at first proposed .It was finally decided to enter on eteam in the Mainland league and toform a second team for practise pur-poses .

An effort is being made to haveGrass Hockey represented at theOlympic games and as a Canadianteam would be largely drawn fromthe Mainland, Varsity stayers are inline for big doings .

The team will play the "Incogs" o nSaturday, time and place to be poste dlater, Folowing is the line-up : Lee,Delap, Jakeway, Spurrier, Baker ,Knight, Barr,, Holmes, Solder, Scott .Reserves : Ritchie and Lang,