volume 12, issue 3

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Vol. 12, Issue 3 April 20, 1997 (Step back in time!) Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 On the World Wide Web at http://www.ramdiculous.com I sure do love Beanie Babies, Power Rangers, and 56k modems!

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This is Volume 12, Issue 3 of the Ramdiculous Page, a humor paper at Angelo State University.

TRANSCRIPT

Vol. 12, Issue 3 April 20, 1997 (Step back in time!)

Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 On the World Wide Web at http://www.ramdiculous.com

I sure do love Beanie Babies, Power Rangers,

and 56k modems!

2

Vol. 12, Issue 3 Something to read in class today

R A M D I C U L O U S   P A G E   P O L I C Y Published every other Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters, tweets, and other such nonsense. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned, EVER. Submit your letters, articles, and/or favorite Spice Girl via our email, [email protected], or our website, www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or MySpace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles. And the 1994 movie Camp Nowhere is an underrated classic, except that the ending sucks. 

Top Editor Bryce J. Parsons

The Yellow Ranger Christine Boswell

Artists and Writers The Usual Ramdiculists

I really really really wanna Zig-a-zig ha

Robert gripes about the Nineties By Robert Thompson

The Nineties were, and I

say this with infinite sincer-

ity, a black hole in human

development that is best

consigned to the dust bin of

history. But rather than list

all the things from the nine-

ties that I hated, (the Maca-

rena, Die Hard 2, my child-

hood—I mean, who has the

time?) I thought it would be

best if I just listed the things

from the nineties that I

liked:

The Internet

My nephews

My nieces

All the best cartoons

Frasier Visiting Mexico and not

ending up on the back of a

milk carton

Young Cary Elwes

Casino Goodfellas Making fun of that fey

little actress who I just

knew would never amount

to anything. What's his

name? Leonardo di

something or other…

Was there stuff about

the Nineties that I liked

but which weren't on the

list? Sure. But let's face it,

the nineties were defined

by boy bands and slap on

bracelets that our teach-

ers insisted would slit our

wrists; biggest conspiracy

since recycling by the

way. And speaking of stu-

pid ideas that way too

many otherwise rational

people believe in, anyone

remember Y2K? It was

pretty cool that everyone

in the family had a work-

ing flash light for a

change, but if it ever hits

the fan, ammunition and

fertile women are going

to be way more useful

than some dumb flash-

light.

On a personal note, I

need to make two correc-

tions his week.

In the Food Issue, I

took an anonymous woman

to task for calling me a fool

while I held the door open

for her. She has since come

out of the woodwork to tell

me that she meant “fool” in

the nicest way possible. I'm

skeptical, but let's take her

word for it.

Second, I am not now

nor have I ever been an elf.

Having said that, Orlando

Bloom is the most useless

pretty boy to ever dawn

the pointy ears and I hope

terrible things happen to

him. The assertion that I

am 470+ years old, well, I

can't remember breakfast

so if that's what it says I

guess it must be true.

Robert Thompson is not actually an elf. He is in fact a gigantic lawn gnome and five-time bowling cham-pion. The Ramdiculous

Page regrets the error, and it will not happen again anytime soon.

The Nineties By Miss C. Boz

1994 is a super great year

With Rugrats,

All That

And that kid with the foot-

ball shaped head

And those tiny little ears.

This year (2012) kinda sucks

with its meatballs

and duck faced…

Girls (lol)

Let's time travel back to that

fantastic year

Even though then I could no

longer partake of beer

I miss ah real monsters, and

that temple game show too

But most of all I miss teach-

ing all my friends to tie their

shoes

-Très yar-

Poetry Time.

3

Ram of the Week: Moni Martinez Meet Moni. She’s really cool. She’s the first grandmother to be Ram of the Week, which is really

cool. Four grandkiddos and four kids. Wow! Anyway, she also wanted us to tell you that her husband works at

ASU Cafe. She is of Black Dutch and Cherokee decent. She’s also Spiritual in belief; her church is Mother Earth.

She says that she got her Cherokee descent from her mom’s side, and she is PROUD of the fact that she has Cherokee roots.

And she loves beading, crocheting, photography, music, outdoors, all animals, cooking, BBQing, researching my family history, and (most of all) being with her family.

She’s a worthy Ram of the Week, in our humble opinion! We wish her all the best. Moni (dramatization)

the incredible question

(More questions at facebook.com

/ramdiculous)

2424 Vanderventer San Angelo, TX 76904

(325) 947-9462

3

Ram of the Week: Blackbeard Yo ho ho! This be the most fearsome pirate of them all! Many a child

screams at night thinking of th’ fearsome Edward Teach. Who is also BLACKBEARD! Ye be a poor soul who run afoul of Blackbeard on th’ Seven Seas. He’ll

scuttle yer boat and send your crewmates to the furthest depths of Davy Jones’ locker.

Many a man has tried to defy Blackbeard, but it be a fool’s pursuit. Th’ man pillages and plunders, and legend has it that he has buried treasure.

When ye are on th’ Seven Seas, keep a wary eye out for Blackbeard’s ship of the damned, the Queen Anne’s Revenge. She be equipped with forty guns and a flag with a skeleton piercing a heart!

Come to think of it, matey, that’ll be th’ last thing ye see before yer watery grave. Arr.

Anyway, he’s Ram of the Week. Hopefully he won’t kill us now. Blackbeard (dramatization)

the incredible question

(More questions at facebook.com

/ramdiculous)

Who’s This? Send us your

answer! Facebook.com/

ramdiculous Last answer: Captain Underpants

(A bunch of you got it right!)

RA

MD

ICU

LO

US

SU

DO

KU

D

iffic

ulty

: 2 (

Nor

mal

)

Free Ramdiculous pirate flag! We be flyin’ our own little Jolly Roger, arrr.

Cut it out and hang it anywhere around campus! Send

us the pictures! Be creative!

2

Quote of the Week

Vol. 12, Issue 3 Avast, Mateys!

R A M D I C U L O U S   P A G E   P O L I C Y Published every other Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters, tweets, and parlay. Please include yer name, position, and an email address, or we’ll keelhaul ya. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned, for they be ourrrs. Submit your letters, articles, and/or Jolly Roger via our email, [email protected], or our website, www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page, so don’t ye be thinkin’ it. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or MySpace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are a perfesser ye need not worry, we will not use yer profiles. FETCH ME A FLAGON OF ALE, WENCH! 

The cap’n Bryce J. Parsons

The boatswain Christine Boswell

Me hearties The Usual Ramdiculists

Yo ho ho And a bottle of rum

“Now clear up them there shambles, or I'll feed you piece-meal to the rats in the cellar.” -Long John Silver

Be a Pirate!

Vol. 12, Issue 3 April 20, 2012 (Pieces of Eight!)

Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 On the Internet @ Ramdiculous.com