we value family - first baptist church hattiesburg

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February 10, 2008

DNA: Our Core Personality - Family

Introduction

This morning we will continue to look at our core personality, the

DNA of FBC. Every one of us in this room has a different

personality quiet, chatty, extrovert, introvert, people-person, shy,

trusting, suspicious.

In the same way, different churches have different personalities.

They value different things. Last week we began describing our

unique personality. First, we value cultural relevance. It is important

that we communicate in such a way that our message is both

understood and received by those outside of a church culture. That is

exactly what missionaries do in a foreign culture.We are in a foreign culture, even here in Hattiesburg. Scripture

makes it plain (see Philippians 3:20) that we live in a culture that is

ruled by the world. Therefore, we find ways to connect with our

culture so that the people within it might be exposed to the love and

message of Christ.

Now we move on the next part of our DNA Family.

Family can be a funny thing. Let me show you what I mean.

Answer one of the following questions:

What is the worst date you and your spouse ever went on?

What is the worst vacation you and your family ever went on?

What is the worst present your family ever gave you?

Family can also be a wonderful thing! Answer one of the

following questions:

What is the best date you and your spouse ever went on?

What is the best vacation you and your family ever went on?

What is the best present your spouse ever gave you?

Today we are going to check out what the Bible has to say about

family. There are at least three reasons for us to do that.

We spend an ENORMOUS amount of time with family. You

grow up in a family, probably live with family, visit family, talk with

family, etc Family is where you do life! Because so much of our

lives is taken up by family, its important that we do it right. So it is

imperative that we seek direction from Gods Word (another of our


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core values) in order to maximize the family experience.

The family is under attack in America. Agree or disagree? Give

some examples of how the family is under attack. (Media/

entertainment presents the traditional family as

outdated. Homosexual families, unmarried couples living

together, serial promiscuity, etcare all presented as the norm.

Biblical standards are ridiculed as old-fashioned and out of touch

with reality. Im sure you can name others.) We must be reminded

of Gods design for families, and commit ourselves to building strong

families.

Family is a HUGE deal to God. In fact, God Himself exists as a

family! And we are a part of that family!

God is a Father.

Jesus is His Son.

The Church is theBride of Christ.

We are a part of thefamily of God.

Paul reminds us that God isAbba (Daddy).

All of these descriptions remind us that God is all about family,

because thats Who He is! When He created mankind, He created a

family (Adam andEve). When Jesus came into the world, He entered

as part of afamily. God is very big on this concept of family. After

all it was His idea!

So where do we start? This is a huge topic, and volumes have

been published on it. Were going to zero in on three areas:

Instructions to Spouses

Instructions to Parents

Instructions to Children

Instructions to Spouses

Lets begin with husbands. Read Ephesians 5:25-29. Now, lets

unpack this passage.

Husbands, love your wives

Would you agree that love is an overused word? (I love my

wife. I love hotdogs. I love football. I love Jesus. I love Twinkies.

Etc). When Paul instructs a husband to love his wife, what do you

think he means? Try to paraphrase this phrase without using the

word love (Example: Husbands, give your best to your wives


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I know what you guys are thinking. Wait a minute! I thought it

said that my wife is supposed to submit to me!

Well, it does, in the next verse (v. 22ff). But most people seem to

miss the opening verse. Husbands and wives are to submit to each

other!

How do you define submit?

Webster defines it as: To yield to the action, control, or power of

another. The Greek word used here is hupotasso. It is a military

word that carries the idea of placing oneself under.

To submit to each other is to yield to each other. Too many

marriages are about getting from the other spouse, rather than

focusing on giving to the other spouse. Marriages work when the

husband is so committed to loving his wife that he is willing to put

her needs before her own. Marriages work when wives are so

committed to respecting their husbands that they are willing to put his

needs above her own. Its not about whos in control or whos in

charge. That completely misses the point!

So, three big words for spouses:

Love

Respect

Submit

I want us to stop right here for a moment of silence. Bow your

heads. Close your eyes, and ask the Holy Spirit if you have beenneglectful in any of those three areas. (Take about 30 seconds of

silence.) Now open your eyes. If the Holy Spirit showed you

something, I want you to make a date with your spouse to talk about

it this afternoon. Im going to pray that you cant get to sleep for

your Sunday afternoon nap until youve talked with your spouse, and

made a plan for doing better.

OK lets move on to the next group.

Instructions for Parents

Discipleship begins, not at church, but in the home! The Bible

puts the responsibility for the spiritual growth of children squarely on

the shoulders of their parents.

Read Proverbs 22:6. Train up is the Hebrew word chanak,

which means to instruct. Parent, it is not enough to drop your child


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off at church events. This training begins at home!

This involves a couple of things:

Look for teachable moments. Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Pay

particular attention to verse 7. The instruction here is to look for

opportunities to teach our children to love God wholeheartedly. The

writer specifically lists four times:

when you sit at home

when you walk along the road

when you lie down

when you get up

If the writer had been writing today, instead of thousands of years

ago, how might he have phrased the above four items?

when they get home from school

when were on our way to soccer practice

at bedtime

at breakfast

Give an example of this, either with your own children, or of

your parents with you when you were a child?

Heres a thought. So much in our culture off base. Our kids are

exposed to so much unhealthy, ungodly information. Why dont you

turn this into a teaching opportunity?

For instance, recently the movie The Golden Compass came out

in theatres. It was reported (I didnt see it) to have been based on

overtly anti-Christian/Church themes. As a parent, I could just sayno to my kids going to see it. Or, I could sit down with my kids

and have a conversation about why the film is a problem. I could use

something negative to teach something positive! (My oldest son read

the book because he was curious, and he and I had a great

conversation about it.)

Heres the point. Spiritual growth in our kids does not happen by

accident. It is the result of parents who are intentional about seeking

out opportunities to teach their kids about Gods love.

Model Godly behavior for your kids.

Read I Corinthians 4:16. Paul wrote, Imitate me. Do what I

do! And he didnt write it just once he wrote it at least five times!

(I Cor. 11:1; Phil. 3:17; 4:9; II Thess. 3:7,9). The word imitate

comes from the Greek mimeomai. Its the word we get mimic and

mimeograph from. What Paul seems to be saying is, Become a

copy of me.


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The most effective thing I can do to instruct my children is model

godly behavior for them. Just like Paul, I should be able to say

Imitate me. Do what I do. Sports figures often try to abdicate their

responsibility by stating, Im an athlete, not a role model.

Bullfeathers! (Sorry) We are all role models to someone, and most

especially to our kids! Its time that we own up to our responsibility!

Heres the hard truth. To a very great extent, your kids will

become you! They watch you, and take their cues from you. If its a

decision between what you say and what you do, theyll go with what

you do every time! So dont kid yourself If you want your kids to

be honest, make sure youre honest. If you want your kids to be

kind, they need to experience kindness from you. Generous? Let

them see you giving. Godly? They learn what that means by

watching you.

By the way, this works from the negative side as well. If you

want your kids to use good language, but you dont, it wont happen.

Concerned about what your kids watch on TV? What doyou watch

on TV? (I worked with students for almost 20 years. My observation

is that by far most kids who got in trouble with alcohol were first

exposed to alcohol in their own homes.)

So, two big words for parents:

Teach

Model

Instructions for Children

Not all of us are married. Not all of us have children. But each

of us is someones child. So what does Scripture teach us about

relating to our parents?

Read Ephesians 6:1-3. Two commands:

Obey your parents.

Ask, How has your idea of obeying your parents changed

from your childhood, through your teen years, through college, into

adulthood? At what point do your have the freedom to not obeyyour parents? Was this transition difficult for you? For your parents?

For your own kids?

The fact is, as we get older our relationship to our parents

changes. We grow into adults ourselves, and (ideally) do not need

the same amount of guidance and oversight we did when we were

younger (especially if our parents have done a good job of parenting


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us!) Therefore, we began to relate in a new way.

Honor your parents. A couple of thoughts here.

Define honor your parents. How is it different from obey your

parents? To honor is to value your parents, to give weight to

what they say. It is to respect them. I can disagree with my parents,

and act against their desires in both a respectful, and a disrespectful

way. Give an example of what each would look like. (Examples:

Were not coming home for Thanksgiving this year.

Disagreements about how youre raising your own kids. Im moving

to another state to take a new job. Etc)

As I become an adult Scripture gives us both the right and the

responsibility to make our own decisions (and our own mistakes!) It

does not, however, give us the right to treat our parents with anything

other than respect and honor.

But honor your parents also carries the idea ofhonoring your

parents, bringinghonor to your parents.

It is a truth that my actions affect more than just me. And as you

well know, my actions reflecton more than just me. What I do, the

choices I make, what I become, what I make of myself, those all

reflect on my parents.

Lets face it one reason we care about our own childrens

behavior is that it reflects on us isnt that true?

Perhaps the greatest gift I can give my parents is to live a life thatreflects well on them, and honors the sacrifices they have made in

raising me.

Closing

So lets review. Three big words for spouses. What were they?

Love

Respect

Submit

Two big words for parents. What were they?

Teach

Model

Two big words for children. What were they?

Obey

Honor


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we value family - first baptist church hattiesburg

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