Midterm Monologues

AP1. 101 Dalmatians (114)written by John Hughes, from the novel by Dodie Smith

Cruella De Vil: My Dalmatian puppy coat. The coat of dreams. The ultimate fur coat… that was denied me by that canine cabal, for which I have lost THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE! You beasts! But I'm not beaten yet. You've won the battle, but I'm about to win the wardrobe. My spotty puppy coat is in plain sight and leaving tracks. In a moment I'll have what I came for, while all of you will end up as sausage meat, alone on some sad, plastic plate. Dead and medium red. No friends, no family, no pulse. Just slapped between two buns, smothered in onions, with fries on the side. Cruella De Vil has the last laugh!

AP2. Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End (116)written by Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio

Elizabeth Swann: Bloody pirates! This is madness. You will listen to me! LISTEN! The other ships will still be looking to us, to the Black Pearl, to lead, and what will they see? Frightened bilge rats aboard a derelict ship? No, no they will see free men and freedom! And what the enemy will see, they will see the flash of our cannons, and they will hear the ringing of our swords, and they will know what we can do! By the sweat of our brow and the strength of our backs and the courage in our hearts! Gentlemen, hoist the colors! If this is what it takes to get us out of it, then done! We will fight!

AP3. Groundhog Day (123)written by Danny Rubin & Harold Ramis

Phil: Let me ask you a question. What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing you did mattered? What if there were no tomorrow? No tomorrow? That means there'd be no consequences, no hangovers. We could do whatever we wanted! It's the same thing your whole life: "Clean up your room! Stand up straight! Pick up your feet! Take it like a man! Be nice to your sister! Don't mix beer and wine ever! Don't drive on the railroad tracks!" I don't know, Gus. Sometimes I think you just have to take the big chances. You make choices and you live with them. I'm not going to live by their rules anymore!

AP4. Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (124)written by Terry Gilliam, Tony Grisoni, Tod Davies, & Alex Cox, from the novel by Hunter S. Thompson

Raoul Duke: How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I just say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

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AP5. Seinfeld (Season 2 – The Statue) (125)written by Larry Charles

Kramer: Let's go get him. You wanta go get him? I say we get him. I'm not happy about this….. I'm not happy about this… Police! Open up! Freeze, mother! Shut up. Spread 'em. I said spread 'em! (Looks around) You're in big trouble son. Burglary, grand larceny, possession of stolen goods.. and uh, uh.. murder. Shut up! Keep 'em spread! Just make love to that wall, pervert! Is your name Ray? Yeah, you're the punk I'm looking for. Yeah, I'm a cop. I'm a good cop. I'm a damn good cop! Today's your lucky day, junior, 'cause I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Any more of this criminal activity, and you'll be sorry. You got me? Good. Good. Let's keep it that way.

AP6. A League of Their Own (129)written by Lowell Ganz, Babaloo Mande

Jimmy Dugan: Which team do you play for?...Well, I was just wondering, 'cause I couldn't figure out why you'd throw home when we've got a two-run lead! You let the tying run get on second and we lost the lead because of you. Now you start usin' your head! That's that lump that's three feet above your ass!...Are you crying?... Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! There's no crying in baseball!...Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit, and that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game! And did I cry?... No! No! And do you know why?... Because there's no crying in baseball! There's no crying in baseball, no crying!

BP1. Masters of the Universe (137)written by David Odell

Skeletor:  People of Eternia! I stand before the Great Eye of the galaxy. Chosen by destiny to receive the powers of Greyskull! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as He-Man himself bears witness to it. … Now. I, Skeletor, am Master of the Universe! Yes! … Yes. I feel it, the power fills me. Yes, I feel the universe within me! I am… I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows, flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! The universe is POWER! Real, unstoppable POWER! And I am that force! I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! Fool! You are no longer my EQUAL! I am more than man! MORE THAN LIFE! I… am… a… GOD! Now. You… will… KNEEEEEL! KNEEEEL!!!

BP2. Dead Poets Society (139) written by Tom Schulman

Mr. Keating: I have a secret for you. Huddle Up...Huddle UP! We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business these are all noble pursuits necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, and love; these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman "Oh me. Oh life of the question of these recurring… of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these? Oh me. Oh life." "Answer...that you are here and life exists....You are here. Life exists, and identity. The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

BP3. Cowboy Bebop ~Ganymede Elegy (147)written by Jack Burns

Jet: Back then when I got home from work, you were always there waiting for me. And that was all I needed. Just you. But on that day, when I came back home the only thing there was that pocket watch; that and a small piece of paper that just had one word written across it: farewell. For some reason, I didn’t feel sad or broken up—it just didn’t seem real. But slowly I realized that it was real; that you were gone. And little by little I felt something inside of me go numb. After six months I made a kind of bet with myself; a pledge, that I would leave this planet and start a new life if you didn’t return by the time the watch stopped. I didn’t come here to blame you, I…I just wanted to know why. Why you disappeared like that.

BP4. The Muppet Movie (150)written by Jack Burns

Kermit the Frog: What's the matter with you? You gotta be crazy chasin' me halfway across the country. Why are you doin' this to me? I've got a dream too. But it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. The kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And, well, I've found a whole bunch of friends who have the same dream. And it kind of makes us like a family. You have anybody like that, Hopper? Once you get all those restaurants who're you gonna share it with? Who are your friends, Doc? Those guys? I think if you look in your heart... you'll find you really want to let me and my friends go... to follow our dream. But if that's not the kind of man you are... and if what I'm saying doesn't make any sense to you...well, then, go ahead and kill me.

BP5. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (154) written by Frances Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Stephen Sinclair, and Peter Jackson, from the novel by J.R.R. Tolkien

Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something.

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BP6. Shakespeare’s Star Wars (160)Written by Ian Doescher

Darth Vader: I turn to you, rebel. Aye, I lift your head above my own. You can now choose to keep your secrets locked safe in your head, and therefore lose the life you hold dear, or else to keep your head and, thus, your life. My patience runs quickly out much like the sands across the dunes of the desert. So tell me, or else you die quick…

And so another dies by my own hand, this hand, which is now encased in blackness. Oh that the fingers of this wretched hand had not ever known the pain of suffering. But now my path is joined with the dark and wicked men—whose hands and fingers move to crush their foes—are now my company. So shall my fingers always undertake to do more evil, aye, and this—my hand— shall do the Emperor’s bidding forevermore. And thus we see how fingers presage death and hands become the instruments of Fate.

BP7. Downfall (169)written by Joachim Fest

Adolf Hitler: That was an order! Steiner’s attack was an order! How dare you ignore my orders? Is this what it came to? The military, everybody lied to me. Even the SS. The generals are no more than a bunch of disloyal cowards….Cowards, traitors, and incompetents…The generals are the scum of the German people! No sense of honor. You call yourself general because you spent years at the academy where you only learnt to use knife and fork. For years, the military obstructed me. All you ever did is thwart me. I should have had all the high officers executed. Like Stalin did. I never went to the academy. But I conquered all of Europe on my own. Traitors. I’ve been betrayed and deceived from the start. Such enormous betrayal of the German people. But all these traitors will pay. With their own blood. They will drown in their own blood….All my orders have been ignored. How can I be a leader under these circumstances? It’s over. The war is lost.

BP8. Seinfeld: (Season 7 - The Showerhead) Firedwritten by: Peter Mehlman & Marjorie Gross

Peterman: I'm afraid I have some bad news, Elaine. It appears you will not beaccompanying me to Africa. I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You tested positive for opium. That's right, Elaine. White lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally. Not a chance. I'm afraid I'll just have to find someone else to accompany me on my journey. The Dark Continent is no place for an addict, Elaine. Not on my watch! I won't have you turning my office into a den of iniquity! Get your fix somewhere else! Elaine, you're out of control. You need help. I know what you're going through. I too once fell under the spell of opium. It was 1979. I was travelling the Yangtzee in search of a Mongolian horsehair vest. I had got to the market after sundown, all of the clothing traders had gone, but a different sort of trader still lurked about. "Just a taste," he said. That was all it took. Oh, Elaine. The toll road of denial is a long and dangerous one. The price? Your soul! Oh, and by the way, you have til' 5:00 to clear out your desk. You're fired!

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CP1. William Shakespeare's Star Wars (209) written by Ian Doescher Luke: Adventure I have asked for in this life, and now I have too much of my desire. My soul within me weeps; my mind, it runs to a thousand, thousand varied paths. My Uncle Owen and my Aunt Beru. Have they been cruelly killed for what I want? So never will I want again if in the wanting all I love is to be destroyed. Oh god! Adventure! Evil trick of boyhood’s mind that one should ever seek to have adventure when one has a home— a family so kind and full of love, good, steady work, and vast, abundant crops— why would one give up all this gentle life for that one beastly word: adventure? No! But soft, my soul, be patient and be wise. The sands of time never turned backward yet, and forward marches Fate, not the reverse. So while I cannot wish for them to live, I can commit my life to their peace. So I shall undertake to do them proud and take whatever adventure comes my way. It is now my burden, so I’ll wear it well, and give my life to the great Rebellion. A Jedi I shall be, in all things brave. And then they shall be honored in their grave.

CP2. A Few Good Men (210) written by Aaron Sorkin

Jessep: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

CP3. Groundhog Day (211) written by Danny Rubin & Harold Ramis

Ned: Phil? Hey! Phil? Phil? Phil Connors, Phil Connors I thought that was you. Hey, hey. Now don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heck-fire remember you! Ned! Ryerson!! Needle-nosed Ned, Ned the head, come on buddy, Case Western High! Ned Ryerson... I did the whistling belly button trick at the high school talent show - BING! Ned Ryerson got the shingles real bad senior year almost didn't graduate - BING again! Ned Ryerson I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times til you told me not to anymore... well? BING! Do you have life insurance? Cause if you do, you can always use a little more. Am I right, or am I right or am I right? Right? Right? Right? Hey, that's all right! I'll walk with you. You know whenever I see an opportunity now I charge it like a bull! "Ned the Bull", that's me now. You know I've got friends of mine who live and die by the actuarial tables and I say, "Hey! It’s all one big crap shoot any hoot." Tell me, have you ever heard of single premium life? Because I think that really could be the ticket for you-- oh, god! It is SO good to see you!

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CP4. Seinfeld: The Visa (The Baseball Camp Brouhaha) (222) written by: Peter Mehlman

Kramer: Well, the camp ended a few days early. Uh, well there was an incident. I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth. Yeah, I punched him and they took him to the hospital and then they canceled the rest of the week. Mickey Mantle... Well, you know, we were playing a game and, you know, I was pitching, and I was really throwing some smoke. And Joe Pepitone, he was up, and man that guy, you know, he was crowding the plate. Yeah, well, Joe Pepitone or not, I own the inside of that plate. So I throw one, you know, inside, you know, a little chin music, put him right on his pants. Cause I gotta intimidate when I'm on the mound. Well the next pitch, he's right back in the same place. So, I had to plunk him. Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing up to the mound. Next thing, both benches are cleared, you know? A brouhaha breaks out between the guys in the camp, you know, and the old Yankee players, and as I'm trying to get Moose Skowron off of one of my teammates, you know, somebody pulls me from behind, you know, and I turned around and I popped him. I looked down, and whoa man, it's Mickey. I punched his lights out.

CP5. Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (227) written by Terry Gilliam, Tony Grisoni, Tod Davies, & Alex Cox, from the novel by Hunter S. Thompson Raoul Duke: We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit light headed, maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?" Never mind, it's your turn to drive." No point in mentioning those bats, I thought, the poor bastard will see them soon enough. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all this for the trip, but once you get locked in a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

CP6. Inspirational Speech from movie quotes: (227)

Shame on you. This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're going to let it be the worst. And I guarantee a week won't go by in your life you won't regret walking out, letting them get the best of you. Well, I'm not going home. We've come too far! And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. A day may come when the courage of men fails... but it is not THIS day. The line must be drawn HERE. This far, no further! I'm not saying it's going to be easy. You're going to work harder than you ever worked before. But that's fine, we'll just get tougher with it! If a person grits his teeth and shows real determination, failure is not an option. That's how winning is done! I say to you what every warrior has known since the beginning of time: you've got to get mad. I mean plum mad dog mean. If you would be free men, then you must fight to fulfill that promise! Let us cut out their living guts one inch at a time, and they will know what we can do! Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions! This is YOUR time! Seize the day, never surrender, victory or death... Who's with me? Alright! Let's fly!

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CP7. Seinfeld: Season 3 – The Subway (228) written by: Larry Charles

Elaine: Oh, this is great. This is what I need, just what I need. Ok, take it easy. I'm sure it's nothing. Probably rats on the track, we're stopping for rats. God, it's so crowded. How can there be so many people? This guy really smells, doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city? What is so hard, you take the cap off, you roll it on. What's that? I feel something rubbing against me. Disgusting animals, these people should be in a cage. We are in a cage. What if I miss the wedding? I got the ring. What'll they do? You can't get married without the ring. Oh, I can't breathe, I feel faint. Take it easy, it'll start moving soon. Think about the people in the concentration camps, what they went through. And hostages, what would you do if you were a hostage? Think about that. This is nothing. No, it's not nothing, it's something. It's a nightmare! Help me! Move it! Come on! Move this thing!! Why isn't it moving?!? What can go wrong with a train!?! It's on tracks, there's no traffic! How can a train get stuck? Step on the gas!! What could it be? You'd think the conductor would explain it to us; 'I'm sorry there's a delay we'll be moving in 5 minutes'!! I wanna hear a voice... What's that on my leg?!!

CP8. A Sacrifice of a Young Girl (228) written by Jin Young Sook, 2nd grade Hanseong Women’s Middle School. April 19, 1960.

Please understand my leaving without seeing you because there is no time. I will fight them in the demonstration against the election rigging til the end. Now, all my friends and I, as well as other fellow students of Korea, are shedding blood for the democracy in this country. Mother, please do not blame me for joining the protesters. If we don’t, who will stand against them and march in the street? I know I am too young. But, I know what we need to do for the country and her people. All my colleagues and I are ready to sacrifice ourselves for our cause, which I am willing to do myself. I would have no regrets even if my joining the protests on the street claims my life. Mother, even though it would be such a grievance for you if anything happens to me, I beg you rejoice it instead of crying, for the sake of the liberation and the future of our people. My heart is already racing down to the street. It is even difficult for me to keep my hand steady at this very moment. Please take care of yourself, mother. Once again, I would like to assure you that I am ready to sacrifice myself. Please forgive me concluding this letter so hurriedly, as there is not enough time for all of us.

C>>>CP9. Seinfeld (Season 5 – The Fire) The Toe (241) written by: Larry Charles

Kramer: Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe. After the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital. I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it." Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy” -- knocked him out cold! Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus. Yeah! Yeah! I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop… people kept ringin' the bell!

CP10. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (274)written by Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio Captain Barbossa: This is Aztec gold. One of 882 identical pieces they delivered in a stone chest to Cortés himself. Blood money paid to stem the slaughter he wreaked upon them with his armies. But the greed of Cortés was insatiable. So the heathen gods placed upon the gold a terrible curse. Any mortal that removes but a single piece from that stone chest shall be punished for eternity. Buried on an island of dead that cannot be found, except… Find it, we did. There be the chest. Inside be the gold. And we took ‘em all. We spent ‘em and traded ‘em and frittered ‘em away on drink and food and pleasurable company. The more we gave ‘em away, the more we came to realize the drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths and all the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust. We are cursed men, Miss Turner. But there is one way we can end our curse. All the scattered pieces of the Aztec gold must be restored and the blood repaid. Thanks to ye, we have the final piece. Look! The moonlight shows us for what we really are. We are not among the living and so we cannot die, but neither are we dead. For too long I’ve been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I’ve been starving to death and haven’t died. I feel nothing… not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman’s flesh. You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. … You’re in one! … Hahahahaha!

CP11. William Shakespeare's Star Wars: Verily, A New Hope (278)written by Ian Doescher

Luke Skywalker: Friends, rebels, star-fighters, lend me your ears. Do not wish we had a single fighter more. If we are marked to die, we are enough to make our planets proud. But should we win, we fewer rebels share the greater fame. We all have sacrificed for this cause. You all know well the family I have lost. My uncle dear and aunt beloved, aye both, and then a great mentor, a powerful friend. As massive is the grief I feel for them, I know full well they’d not have me back down. The princess has lost a planet, with friends and family alike—how great her pain! And yet as grave as that emotion is, she knows they would have her lead us still. And you, you goodly men and women too, you all have lived and loved and lost as well, your stories are with mine one and the same. For all of us have known of grief and joy. And everyone has come to this day not so that we may turn our backs and flee, but that we may show a greater courage, both for ourselves and those we left behind. So let us not wish further ships were here. And you, you brave souls, have your memories of your great exploits in your own homelands, so think on them and let your valor rise, for with the Force and bravery we win. O! Great shall be the triumph of that

hour when the arrogant, powerful Empire felled by simple hands of rebels, is shown the might of our good company! For never shall rebellion see a time more glorious than our strong attack today!