Weeks on using the Neutral ‘no’....

Don’t be overly harsh

Know your triggers

Practice

Communicating in virtual teams

Communicating in a Virtual Team:The Big Picture

Establish a Communications Framework

Consider visuals

Clarify Clear Roles

Build a Decision-Making Process.

Communicating in a Virtual Team:Swapping Words

‘Go around the room’ regularly.

Ask for emotional clarification.

Allow time for different personal tempos

Spell out your intentions.

The Great Intimidators

Larry EllisonCEO & Director, Oracle

Playing the Anti Geek

Best Communication Asset: Looking like a leader

Tip:Pay attention to what you wear

Who is Lying?

Lying Clues

Gesture less with your hands

Talk in a higher pitched voice

Take a longer time than normal to answer questions

The Challenge of Feedback

Richard Branson:Chairman, Virgin Group

Lavisher of Praise

Best Communication Asset: Generosity with PraiseTip:Lavish appropriate praise on staff & clients

Delivering Performance Feedback

Identity:

1. Who somebody is or what something is

2. The set of characteristics that somebody recognizes as belonging uniquely to himself or herself and constituting his or her individual

personality for life.

‘I’ve grown certain that the root of all fear is that we’ve been forced to deny who we are.’

Frances Moore Lappe

‘This above all: to thine own self be true.’

Communications Challenge

Ms. Max, a manager of 50 employees, is sent to you - Director of Leadership Development - by her boss. You are to be her management mentor or coach. Previously, she was a highly successful, cooperative senior chemist.

All is not well...

Ms. Max has headed the department now for just over a year and her people are unhappy. They are fighting more than ever, replicating each other’s work in some areas, missing deadlines. Senior Management is starting to take notice.

Public Denial....

Proud, introverted, task-focused, used to a history of achievement, Ms. Max hasn’t discussed these team issues at all with her boss. When he’s approached her about what is going wrong, she’ll only say that the team is getting better and she is on top of it.

Private Angst...Whenever the boss questions her leadership skills, she gets defensive and points to her history of achievement. What the boss doesn’t see is her utter panic & sleepless nights when she goes home. Now, as a mentor, her boss has asked you to help change her management style.

Your Turn

When you ask Ms. Max about her management style, she says emphatically: ‘it’s not my management style. It’s the team. It’s weak. We have the most trouble-makers in the organization. I don’t need to change; they do.’

No time to waste...

The clock is ticking. The Boss who referred Ms. Max wants to see a change in her managerial style. It’s clear that if she can’t change, she’ll have to be demoted and - given her personality - she’ll likely quit. Nobody wants this....

Your Change Action Plan...

What is the Desired Change Here?

To what extent is the behaviour in question correlated with this person’s identity?

Change Assets

Which resources, people, strengths can you access in order to ease the flow of change?

Change Hurdles

What are the most powerful things working against you as you try to institute change?

What is your Communication Plan for dealing with Ms. Max?

Action..

Person 1 = Division DirectorPerson 2 = Chris Blott, Line Manager

Person 3 = The Wise Observer.

Chris’ employees find him rude and dismissive. Clients love Chris, though, and he makes a lot of

money for the company.

The Division Director needs to help Chris change the way he or she treats employees.

Restrictive Framing happens when...

you picture relevant events before meeting

decide which information to discuss

define a solution before talking

become frozen in your response

Open Framing

Here, you are considering alternate explanations before jumping to conclusions.

People will be more willing to accept feedback from you if:

they think you are reliable and have good intentions towards them

you have collected relevant information

you pay attention to their input

People will be more willing to accept feedback from you if...

you apply consistent standards when delivering criticism

you support them despite disagreements

you respect them

1. In guiding others through change,start with yourself.

Manage your own Expectations.

Avoid the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.

2. Analyze your Differences. How might these flavour your interaction?

3. Monitor your Emotional Reactions.

4. Ask the candidate for feedback on your coaching.

Then move to Them.....

5. Start with Self-Affirmation

6. Emphasize Organizational Goals.Find Personal Links.

7. See if there is anything you, as a leader, are doing to cause their unwanted behaviour.

8. Look for Situational Variables that may be aggravating the behaviour.

9. Remember Talk is Cheap and Behavioural Dictates are short-lived.

Check the Attitude-Behaviour Link

10. Is the behaviour you are trying to help them change a reflection of their True Attitudes or is there a disconnect between how they are intending to behave and how they are actually behaving?

Attitude-Behaviour Link...

True Attitude? Tap into Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance

Feelings of tension that arise when we experience inconsistencies between our thoughts, attitudes and behaviours. This leads us to feel pressure (dissonance) which encourages us to take actions to restore consistency by, for instance, changing one of our attitudes.

Attitude-Behaviour Link..

Disconnect between Intentions & Actions?Focus on Self Awareness.

Video & role-play are 2 options. Can you get 360 feedback?

11. Focus on 1 Behaviour @ a time.

Model the desired behaviour then have them try it.

12. Reward Improved Behaviour Judiciously

13. Persist a little longer than you might think

14. Build in ongoing support

15. Evaluate your communication & coaching outcomes

Your Top 3 Communication Strengths

What are they?

How do they help you as a leader?

What is 1 concrete action you can take to better tap into these communication strengths &, in so doing, become a stronger leader?

‘Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.’