Welcome to CIPP

-----Original Message-----Sent: Thursday, July 05, 2012 12:57 PMTo: Ben-Shahar TalSubject: Feedback Tal, Spoke with an HR veteran and got feedback on our concept. Key messages :1) The concept resonates well. She says that in today's world people are having more and more to take care of their own personal leadership development. People move jobs a lot more. And so much less dependency on a single career at the same place. The idea of realising your full potential in the disagregated 21c workplace is very relevant for the young generation.2) She loves the idea of being technology-leveraged as opposed to being coaching intensive. Allowing people to do the modules from their Ipad while on the plane ...3) She thinks we could pitch this both directly to individuals but also to organizations like hers. Interesting thought. Not obvious to me that we want to do this.4) She likes 4 out of 5 modules :- cultivate strengths- self-concordant goals / meaning (add that this is the purpose)- positive emotions and dealing with negative (add that this is affect)- relationship support network5) She is worried that 'healthy body' won't resonate when pitched to organizations. Other companies have come to her with 'healthy body' programs. Difficult sell. Too new age. All in all positive, and she is happy to continue to offer thoughts and feedback if we want it.

Speak soon,Timon 

-----Original Message-----From: Ben-Shahar Tal Sent: Thursday, July 05, 2012 1:24 PMSubject: RE: Feedback Hi Timon, Very good feedback. The thing about the health part, is that I think it's a make-or-break in terms of overall wellbeing. From what I know--research, personal experience, and so on--it's not possible to lead an overall fulfilling life without paying at least some attention to the way we treat our bodies (nutrition, exercise, some form of mindfulness exercises). All, of course, with a rigorous scientific foundation. Let’s discuss.

Best, Tal

Immersion Program Rules

• Confidentiality

• Beautiful enemies (respect and challenge)

• Punctuality

• Courage to speak up

• Courage to be silent

“Words are not the sole medium of exchange in teaching and learning—we educate with silence as well. Silence gives us a chance to reflect on what we have said and heard… In authentic education, silence is treated as a trustworthy matrix for the inner work students must do, a medium for learning of the deepest sort.”

Time-Ins

Exercise: Best Group Experience

1. Think back to your best experience in a group/team.

2. What did you contribute to making the experience a good one?

3. What will you contribute to your groups?

4. Share 2-4 personal contributions you intend to make.

5. Highlight 5-9 key contributions.

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Exercise: Brief Journaling

Take two minutes to journal about what you experienced during the meditation and visualization. Write about your emotions, or ideas, or insights that you had. Forget about grammar or making sense. Write about whatever comes to mind and heart.

Introduction to CIPP

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The Road to Positive Psychology

• Humanistic Psychology (1950’s)

• The Third Force– Reaction to behaviorism (First Force)– Reaction to psychoanalysis (Second Force)

• Lacked rigorous methodology

Abraham Maslow(1908-1970)

Karen Horney(1885-1952)

Meet the Grandparents

Aaron Antonovsky(1923-1994)

From Pathogenic Questions to Salutogenic Questions

“All those familiar with the history of science are aware that important advances come with the formulation of new questions. The question is the breakthrough; the answer comes with difficulty, but it is the new question that is important. The salutogenic question, I submit to you, is a radically new question, which provides the impetus for formulating a new paradigm to help us understand health and illness. It has serious implications for researcher and clinician, biological and social scientist alike.”

Aaron Antonovsky

Meet the Parents

Martin Seligman Ellen Langer Philip Stone

Meet CIPP!

Meet CIPP!

• Transformation rather than information

• Covering less; uncovering more

“In pursuit of knowledge, every day something is acquired; in pursuit of wisdom, every day something is dropped.”

Lao Tzu

“The soul grows by subtraction, not addition.”

Thoreau

In Search of “WOW”• There is no “WOW”!

• Making common sense more common

• Reminding

Exercise: The Ideal Person1. Share your stories of person you admire.

2. Write down what you admire about the person.

3. Think of another person you admire.

4. Write down what you admire.

5. Share the characteristics you wrote down.

6. Add characteristics to your list.

7. Highlight 4-8 most important characteristics.

8. Rewrite in first person.

My Ideal Self

• I focus on the moment

• I strive to know and be known

• I embrace togetherness

• I give myself the permission to be human

• I play and am playful

• I appreciate

• I am humble

• I have integrity

The Ideal Self Exercise

• What want to be reminded of

• Repetition is key

• A solid anchor in a tumultuous world

• Focus and visualize

• Creating a healthy and genuine self image

“Go back inside yourself and look: if you do not see yourself as beautiful, then do as a sculptor does with a statue he wants to make beautiful: he chisels away one part, and levels off another, makes one spot smooth and another clear, until he shows forth a beautiful face on the statue. Like him, remove what is superfluous, straighten what is crooked, clean up what is dark and make it bright, and never stop sculpting your own statue, until the godlike splendor of virtue shines forth to you.”

Plotonius

ReflAction

Most Change Efforts Fail

• Knowing/understanding is not enough- Ritualized action is necessary for motion

• Doing is not enough

- Guided reflection is necessary for direction

• Deliberate practice (Ericsson, 1993)

Growth Through ReflAction

Reflection

Action

(direction, deliberate)

(motion, practice)

ReflAction:Where Psychology and Yoga Meet

• Psychological understanding helps but is not sufficient

• Yoga practice helps but is not sufficient

The Essence of ReflAction

• Making physical and psychological link explicit• Highlighting true nature of psychological state• Reinforce pleasurable emotions and desirable

states

- Make it heartfelt (Fredrickson, 2009)• Creating unity• No substitute for yoga or psychological work

ReflAction off the Mat

Exercise: ReflAction

1. Divide into groups of four.

2. Think about a posture capturing a psychological state.

3. Take turns leading the rest of the group.

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Gratitude

Exercise: Create Your Bucket (Bowl)

1. Create a bowl.

2. What do you appreciate about yourself?

3. Inscribe two or more words or symbols inside bowl.

Exercise: Brief Journaling

Take two minutes to write about a positive experience that you had—it can be something you experienced yesterday or years ago. Forget about grammar or making it coherent—just write….

Listening

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Why Listening Matters

• Benefits relationships

• Benefits children

• Increases our influence

• Improves our ability to lead

• Benefits helping professionals

Learning from Therapy

• Therapy works

• Type matters little

• Credentials matter little

• Empathy matters much!

“Active listening is an important way to bring about changes in people. Despite the popular notion that listening is a passive approach, clinical and research evidence clearly shows that sensitive listening is a most effective agent for individual personality change and group development…. People who have been listened to in this new and special way become more emotionally mature, more open to their experiences, less defensive, more democratic, and less authoritarian…. Not the least important result of listening is the change that takes place within the listener himself. Besides providing more information than any other activity, listening builds deep, positive relationships and tends to alter constructively the attitudes of the listener. Listening is a growth experience.”

Carl Rogers

Giving Advice is Also Important

• First listen, then share

• Better listening leads to better advising

• Embrace the “genius of the AND”

• Advocacy AND inquiry in groups

(Losada & Heaphy, 2004)

Effective Listening

DON’Ts DOs

Focus on finding answers First ask questions

Try to impress Allow others to express

Seek first to be understood Seek first to understand

Talk to fill space Embrace silence

Judge Accept

Doubt Trust

“To be effective, active listening must be firmly grounded in the basic attitudes of the user. We cannot employ it as a technique if our fundamental attitudes are in conflict with its basic concepts. If we try, our behavior will be empty and sterile, and our associates will be quick to recognize this. Until we can demonstrate a spirit which genuinely respects the potential worth of the individual, which considers his sights and trusts his capacity for sell-direction, we cannot begin to be effective listeners.”

Carl Rogers

Exercise: Mindful Communication1. Find a partner and sit face-to-face.

2. Centering.

3. Look into one another’s eyes.

4. Listener ask: “How are you?”

5. Speaker speaks, listener listens.

6. Silence.

7. Switch.

8. Face one another again and share an idea that you resonate with from this program, and how you intend to apply it in your life.

9. Switch.

Get Into Their Movie

• No interruption

• Genuine interest

• Time affluence (Kasser)

• Mindfully absorbed

• Get into the person’s shoes (empathy)

• Put ego on side

“If we approach a listening opportunity with the same self-abandonment as we do at the movies, think of how much more we stand to gain from these encounters.”

We All Have Our Movie“The movie mindset confers the gift of another’s vision of life. Everyone’s movie is an adventure.”

Rebecca Shafir

• Scratch beneath the surface• Ask questions if necessary• Connecting the dots (creating coherence)• Benefits to teller and listener

“Truly listening, forgetting yourself for a short time, and getting into the speaker’s movie can be the kindest gift you can give to another.”

Rebecca Shafir

Systems Thinking

Defining Systems Thinking

Peter Senge

“Systems thinking is a conceptual framework, a body of knowledge and tools that has been developed over the past fifty years, to make the full patterns clearer, and to help us see how to change them effectively.”

“It should come as no surprise that the unhealthiness of our world today is in direct proportion to our inability to see it as a whole.”

Peter Senge

Zooming Out in Space and Time

“The system viewpoint is generally oriented toward the long-term view.”

Peter Senge

• The elephant example (spatial)• The robbery example (temporal)

Framing“We tend to focus on snapshots of isolated parts of the system, and wonder why our deepest problems never seem to get solved.”

Peter Senge

Expanding Perspective

• What am I missing or overlooking?

• How can I reframe the situation and zoom out?

• What can I see from 50,000 feet?

• Taking the long term perspective—taking the past and the potential future into consideration—what becomes clear?

• Is there another perspective I can take?

Expanding Perspective

• What am I grateful for?

• What progress have I made today?

• When were you at your best as a leader?

• When did you feel most safe at work?

• How do we create exceptional experiences for our clients?

• What can I appreciate (about other/self/life)?

Exercise: Expanding Perspective1. Think about an important and

challenging relationship in your life.

2. Describe two difficulties that you have within the relationship.

3. What works in this relationship?

4. What lessons are there for you in this relationship?

5. What do you appreciate/like in this person?

6. Share in pairs.

Exercise: Questioning

1. Think about a challenge you’re facing.

2. Generate questions that can help you deal with the challenge.

3. Share in pairs.

4. Share in groups of eight (one question per person).

Leading Authentically

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“Authority is granted to people who are perceived as authoring their own words, their own actions, their own lives.”

Parker Palmer

“To be authentic is literally to be your own author, to discover your native energies and desires, and then to find your own way of acting on them.”

Warren Bennis

Know Thyself and Be Thyself

“Know thyself.”The Oracle of Delphi

“This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow as night follows day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Shakespeare

Step 1: Know Thyself

“‘Know thyself’ was the inscription over the Oracle at Delphi. And it is still the most difficult task any of us faces. But until you truly know yourself, strengths and weaknesses, know what you want to do and why you want to do it, you cannot succeed in any but the most superficial sense of the word.”

Warren Bennis

• Key to wellbeing (Campbell, 1996)

“When I do not know myself, I cannot know who my students are. I will see them through a glass darkly, in the shadows of my unexamined life—and when I cannot see them clearly, I cannot teach them well.”

Parker Palmer

From Self Awarenessto Other Awareness

“If a person is perpetually oblivious to his own feelings, he will also be tuned out to how others feel.”

Daniel Goleman

“If a person is perpetually oblivious to his own feelings, he will also be tuned out to how others feel.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

From Self Awarenessto Other Awareness

“We must remember that knowledge of one’s own deep nature is also simultaneously knowledge of human nature in general.”

Abraham Maslow

“What is most personal is most general.”Carl Rogers

Step 2: Be Thyself

• The “One Type of Leader” myth

• How can I be a leader; let me count the ways

• Overlap between passions and strengths

“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It’s precisely that simple, and it’s also that difficult.”

Warren Bennis

“Excellent team leaders... are aware of their natural styles—they know what they like to do, what they can do easily and well, and what they can accomplish only with difficulty if at all. They learn over time how to exploit their special strengths and preferences, and how to contain or circumvent their weaknesses.”

Richard Hackman

Passions Strengths

Zone ofGreat

Leadership

Strengthening Our Strengths

“We’re typically over-qualified in naming our weaknesses and much less savvy about those things at which we are naturally good.”

Stavros & Torres

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

Marianne Williamson

“Good teaching cannot be reduced to technique; good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher.”

Parker Palmer

Exercise: Strengths1. Form groups of three.

2. Share story of you at your best.

3. Practice conscious listening.

4. All write down strengths and passions.

5. Discuss strengths and passions.

6. Switch.

7. Join with another group.

8. Share strengths (choose one for display).

9. Appoint an organizer.

10.Name your team

Digging Deeper

Exercise: Best Possible Self

Think about your life in the future. Imagine that everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all of your life goals. Think of this as the realization of all your life dreams. Now, write about what you imagined.

Sentence Completion

If I allowed myself to be imperfect...

• I will feel lighter

• life will be easier

• I will be less successful

• I will succeed more

• I will let people down

• those who are close to me will appreciate me just as much

• I will not need to prove myself constantly

• I will enjoy my life more

What is Sentence Completion About?

• Self understanding and awareness

• Answers from within

• What, Why, Where, How

• Works on conscious and subconscious

“It is incredible when you think of people lying on couches year after year to gain the kind of insights that emerge here in minutes.”

Nathaniel Branden

Basic Rules

• Say/write the stem and then complete it

• Alone or in group

• Brainstorm: think after, not during

• Uncritical: no right/wrong

• At least six endings

• Divide and conquer (gradual, 5% at a time)

• Be flexible, innovate

• Further explore interesting endings

1. To bring 5% more happiness to my life…2. If I dedicated more time and effort to

pursuing my dreams…3. To realize my dreams…4. I am beginning to see that…

Exercise: Sentence Completions

Exercise: Going Deeper1. Read over your sentence endings.

2. Come up with another sentence stem.

3. Complete the stem.

4. Write about insights, ideas, commitments.

5. Share with the group.

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Reminders

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Daily Reminder

• Deep breaths before and after each part

• Read a meaningful excerpt

• Engage your senses

• Express thanks

• Go over your Ideal-Self

How to Remind

• Feel it (make it heartfelt)

• Mind it (make it intentional)

• Do it (make it a ritual)- 10-60 minutes daily

Exercise: Creating Daily Reminder1. Elaborate on your Ideal-Self

My Ideal Self• I focus on the moment

- I let go of trying to control the past and the future, and breathe into the present. This is it.

• I give myself the permission to be human- I embrace vulnerability, accepting the ups and the downs like I accept the law of gravity. I have patience and know that this too shall pass.

• I appreciate- There are treasures of happiness all around me and within me. Life is a miracle, and I open my senses to it. I am a benefit finder, and focus on the positive in others and myself.

Exercise: Creating Daily Reminder1. Elaborate on your Ideal-Self.

2. In your coaching groups, share inspiring excerpts and songs.

Specific Reminders• Focusing on a specific challenge or area of

growth• State in positive, present, and purposeful

language• 2-4 sentences elaborating on statement

- From personal observation or other sources

• Repeat daily or weekly, for a month or longer

Challenge:Dealing with fear of public speaking• I am a calm and authentic public speaker

- Speaking in front of people is a privilege, an opportunity for me to share what I care about most in the world.

- Rather than having to prove myself, I strive to be known, to be authentic and real, to express myself.

- I experience natural fluctuations in energy and presence. I am a passionate

human being, not a perfect machine.

Personal Growth:Becoming a better father

• I am a caring, fun, and patient parent.- I accept and respect the kids’ emotions, no

matter what the emotions are, and set boundaries only on their behaviors.

- I let go of food control, and use meal times for fun conversation and pleasurable eating.

- Rather than bringing gravity to my interactions with my fun children, I bring play and silliness and dance to our time together.

Exercise: Creating Specific Reminder1. List an area of personal growth or

challenge.

2. State in positive, present, and purposeful language.

3. Write down 2-4 statements elaborating on statement

Mini Reminder

• First breath: centering• Second breath: an

Ideal-Self sentence• Third breath: gratitude• Come up with your own

sequence (content and length)

Exercise: Creating Mini-Reminder1. Write down a 4-breath sequence

2. Share

3. Experience your sequence

Next Steps

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Exercise: What’s Next?1. Journal about your future

2. Journal about your path

3. Share in your coaching group

4. Listen to the words of the following song!

5. Journal

Exercise: Rituals1. Make a list of rituals (personal and

professional)

2. Highlight two rituals

3. Highlight two more rituals

4. Share with coaching group

1. Walk around and review “group contribution” postings.

2. Write down your commitments3. Share4. Generate 5-7 ground rules for group5. Go over each of the rules

Exercise: Your Coaching Group

Goodbye (for now)

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Orientation

• How to work together

• Why work together (objectives)

Suggested Work Flow

One caveat...

We may be clueless

Commit to a time now,or commit to a process to pick a time

www.meetingwizard.com

How do I schedule a call?

• Skype

• www.freeconference.com

Objective

• To help you practice what you learn– Accountability– Support– Encouragement– Safe environment to share

Group Share

• This week I practiced...

• What I noticed is...

• I could use your help with (or your ideas on)...

6 people in 60 minutes. How will you make sure everyone is heard?

What are SIG?

• Broader application: How does this apply to an area I am interested in?

• Yes, you can connect regionally.

What We are Collating

• List of students

• Poems

• Exercises and tools

• Music?

• Files?

What is the natural

next step?

1. Get together in your coaching groups2. Decide as a group “What is the natural

next step?”- Exchange emails- Set up a time to talk- Appoint a person to coordinate a call- Or whatever else you think you may need…

Exercise: Groups

Exercise: Brief Journaling

Take two minutes to write about a positive experience that you had this week—it can be something you experienced yesterday or during the first evening, something that happened in a lecture or during a meal or while walking around Kripalu. Forget about grammar or making it coherent—just write….

Feedforward• Possible even if limited information?

- Thin slice (Ambadi, 1996)• Possible for any person?

- Appreciative Inquiry (Cooperrider, 2002)

• Remember Marva Collins“To see the seed in something, that is genius.”

Lao Tzu

“A fundamental concept related to AI is that every person, place, and thing has something of value, some worth, some untapped opportunity; one simply has to inquire into it.”

Stavros & Torres

1. Write down two strengths for each group member on two tickets.

2. Share with each person, and give her/him tickets.

3. Write two tickets for yourself.

Exercise: Strengths Feedforward

1. Think about one or two meaningful ideas from the week (at least one tool/technique).

2. Share one with your group.3. Think about one or two moments when you

were touched.4. Share one with your group.

Exercise: Week in Review

1. Express gratitude to individual members of your group.

2. Go around room and thank people… in silence.

Exercise: Gratitude Feedforward

Bear: Hey, this was really funLuna: We hope you liked it tooBear: Seems like we've just begunBoth: When suddenly we're throughBear: Goodbye, goodbye, good friends, goodbye

Both: Cause now it's time to goBear: But, hey, I say, well, that's OKLuna: Cause we'll see you very soon, I knowBear: Very soon, I knowBoth: Goodbye, goodbye, good friends, goodbyeBear: And tomorrow, just like todayLuna: (Goodbye - today)Both: The moon, the bear and the Big Blue HouseWe'll be waiting for you to come and play. To come and play, to come and play

Take Care of Yourself