04/19/23 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

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Welcome to the Junior League Conflict Mode Workshop

Presented by BJ Fuller Holmberg, Ph. D.

Organizational Consultant

October 25, 2005

San Francisco

04/19/23 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

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Conflict Situation where your concerns or desires differ from another’s

Five Modes for Handling ConflictAdapted from the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument

Ass

erti

ven

ess

Cooperativeness

Low

High

Low High

Competing

Avoiding

Collaborating

Accommodating

Compromising

04/19/23 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

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Steps for Finding a Collaborative Solution

1. Create an effective atmosphere2. Clarify perceptions3. Focus on individual and shared needs4. Build shared positive power5. Look to the future; learn from the past6. Generate options7. Develop “doables” – stepping stones to

action8. Make mutual-benefit agreements From the Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution, Dudley Weeks

04/19/23 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

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Criticism has the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved or reduced, but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built.

Carl Jung

04/19/23 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

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Giving Feedback

SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact)

Describe the Situation Describe the Behavior Describe the Impact

04/19/23 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

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Top 10 Feedback Mistakes

1. Judge individuals not actions2. Too vague3. Speaks for others4. Sandwich negative feedback between positive messages5. Exaggerated6. Psychoanalyzes motives7. Goes on too long8. Contains an implied threat9. Inappropriate humor10. Question, not a statement

Adapted from materials from Center for Creative Leadership

04/19/23 Developed By BJ Buzz - Restricted Use

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Skill Building

Practice giving feedback using the SBI model in a non-threatening situation to build your skills

Pay attention to how you typically give feedback (at home, to the kids, at work, to friends) and see if you habitually make any of the top 10 mistakes; work on doing feedback differently if you do

Choose a conflict that’s worth the time and effort to come to a collaborative solution and try out the Eight Steps