What is Bullying?What is Bullying?

Bullying is when purposeful acts of Bullying is when purposeful acts of meanness are repeated over time in meanness are repeated over time in an situation where there is an an situation where there is an imbalance of power.imbalance of power.

Purposeful acts of meannessPurposeful acts of meanness RepeatedRepeated

Imbalance of powerImbalance of power

TypesTypes of Bullyingof Bullying

PhysicalPhysical- hitting, shoving, pushing - hitting, shoving, pushing and destroying property.and destroying property.

VerbalVerbal - teasing, name calling, - teasing, name calling, threats, threats,

RelationalRelational - gossiping, - gossiping, embarrassing, leaving someone outembarrassing, leaving someone out

The BullyThe Bully Displays little empathy for victimsDisplays little empathy for victims Enjoys the roleEnjoys the role Lacks a sense of remorseLacks a sense of remorse Seeks control and dominationSeeks control and domination Seeks attention from peersSeeks attention from peers Is a good communicator who is quick witted, Is a good communicator who is quick witted,

offers fast verbal responses, and is able to talk offers fast verbal responses, and is able to talk his way out of troublehis way out of trouble

Has a significant role model who models Has a significant role model who models aggressive or violent behavioraggressive or violent behavior

Often strong, tough, powerful, well Often strong, tough, powerful, well coordinated, dominant, confidentcoordinated, dominant, confident

The Victim (passive)The Victim (passive)

Does not invite attack; is sensitiveDoes not invite attack; is sensitive Is emotional, cry easilyIs emotional, cry easily Generally lacks social skillsGenerally lacks social skills Feels isolated at school/ lonely/ Feels isolated at school/ lonely/

depresseddepressed May have learning problemMay have learning problem Is unable to defend himself/herselfIs unable to defend himself/herself Is likely to be anxious and insecureIs likely to be anxious and insecure

Victim (provocative)Victim (provocative)

Has few friendsHas few friends Repeatedly pesters and irritates othersRepeatedly pesters and irritates others Is quick tempered and easily provokedIs quick tempered and easily provoked Will fight backWill fight back May provoke attacksMay provoke attacks May experience learning and attention May experience learning and attention

problemsproblems May look as if he/she is a bully because May look as if he/she is a bully because

they tend to maintain conflictthey tend to maintain conflict

BystanderBystander

Is afraid of associating with the victim for Is afraid of associating with the victim for fear the bully will turn on themfear the bully will turn on them

Wants to help but doesn’t know what to doWants to help but doesn’t know what to do Feels guilty for not actingFeels guilty for not acting Fears reporting will make him a tattlerFears reporting will make him a tattler Doesn’t like what he sees, but feels Doesn’t like what he sees, but feels

powerlesspowerless Feels unsafe and unable to take actionFeels unsafe and unable to take action Feels a loss of controlFeels a loss of control

What can teachers do? What can teachers do? (preventive)(preventive)

Provide students opportunity to talk about Provide students opportunity to talk about bullying and provide safe ways to report.bullying and provide safe ways to report.

Include classroom rules against bullying.Include classroom rules against bullying. Enlist their support in defining bullying as Enlist their support in defining bullying as

unacceptable for our school.unacceptable for our school. Develop a classroom action plan to ensure that Develop a classroom action plan to ensure that

students know what to do when they observe a students know what to do when they observe a situation.situation.

Provide classroom activities and discussion Provide classroom activities and discussion about bullying.about bullying.

Focus on developing empathy and respect for Focus on developing empathy and respect for othersothers

Work on friendship, assertive and mediation skills.Work on friendship, assertive and mediation skills.

What can teachers do? What can teachers do? (action)(action)

Take immediate action when bullying is Take immediate action when bullying is observed. observed.

Confront bullies in private. Confront bullies in private. Use a discipline referral and note bullying Use a discipline referral and note bullying

behavior in the report.behavior in the report. Notify parents of victims and bullies when a Notify parents of victims and bullies when a

problem occurs. problem occurs. Provide protection for bullying victims. This Provide protection for bullying victims. This

may include a buddy system, extra may include a buddy system, extra supervision at noted area of concerns. supervision at noted area of concerns.

Listen to parents who report bullying.Listen to parents who report bullying.

Normal Conflict VS. Bullying

equal power-friends imbalance of power - not friends

happens occasionally repeated negative actions

accidental purposeful

not serious serious- threat of physical emotional or psychological harm or hurt

equal emotional reaction emotional reactance on part of the victim

not seeking power or attention seeking power, control

not trying to get something gain material things or power

remorse - take responsibility no remorse - blames victim

effort to solve the problem no effort to solve problem

Tattling Telling

purpose is to get vs. purpose is to keep people safesomeone in trouble

can handle by self vs. need help from an adult to solve

unimportant vs. important

harmless vs. harmful or dangerous physically or psychologically

behavior is accidental vs. behavior is purposeful

Steps to Bully-Proof Your Steps to Bully-Proof Your ChildChild

Let the school know your concernsLet the school know your concerns Keep a record of eventsKeep a record of events Teach your child self respect, assertivenessTeach your child self respect, assertiveness Let your child know it is ok to express anger Let your child know it is ok to express anger

appropriatelyappropriately Encourage FriendshipsEncourage Friendships Teach social skills (sharing, compromises, Teach social skills (sharing, compromises,

apologies, I messages, )apologies, I messages, ) Encourage telling vs. tattlingEncourage telling vs. tattling Don’t advise ignoring or attacking the bullyDon’t advise ignoring or attacking the bully

What if your child is the What if your child is the bully?bully?

Evaluate if this behavior is being Evaluate if this behavior is being modeled at home- seek counselingmodeled at home- seek counseling

Do not use physical punishment , or Do not use physical punishment , or humiliation. Instead remove privilegeshumiliation. Instead remove privileges

Provide parental supervisionProvide parental supervision Put an immediate stop to any bullying Put an immediate stop to any bullying

you observeyou observe Emphasize praise and positive rewardsEmphasize praise and positive rewards