what is effective business writing?
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What Is Effective Business Writing?. Sense of Audience : Anticipates reader’s needs Right Tone : Is even-tempered Informative Content : Has substance – says something Movement : Goes somewhere and has a sense of order - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
What Is Effective Business Writing? Sense of Audience: Anticipates reader’s needs
Right Tone: Is even-tempered
Informative Content: Has substance – says something
Movement: Goes somewhere and has a sense of order
Helpful Format: Looks good on the page, is easy to read, scan, and retrieve information from
Effective Business Writing (Continued)
Detail: Uses concrete, selective, precise words
Voice: Sounds like one human being talking to another
Originality: Says something new or something old in a fresh way
Rhythm: Sounds effortless, natural
Goods Mechanics: Observes conventions of spelling, punctuation, and usage; uses enlightened control by knowingly and occasionally bending the rules
Book: p. 8-11
Three Step Approach to Effective Business Writing
1. Determine objective and get ideas on Paper• Brainstorming/mind mapping• Writing “Zero Draft”
2. Organize effectively• “Bottom-lining”• Logically support bottom-line
3. Edit ruthlessly• Editing for Style• Editing for Tone • Editing for Grammar
Step 1: Getting Your Thoughts on Paper
Don’t worry about it, just get it on paper• Good writing is rewriting
Determine Your Objective What is your purpose? Who will read it? What do you want to say?
Getting Your Thoughts on Paper Brainstorming Mind mapping Loose outline (be flexible)
Loose Outline Main point Key words in sequence following the
main point.• Not too rigid. Allow for fresh ideas in the
writing of the “Zero Draft”
“Zero Draft” Deadline writing
• Time limit• Bogus first sentence
• “What I’m trying to say is that…”• I’m writing to persuade you to…”
• *Let new ideas come out in the process• Don’t worry about order or brevity
Book: p.221Book: p.221
Step 2: Organizing Your Message “Bottom-lining”
• Summarize your major point or points at the outset
–“If you have something important to say–please–start at the end.”
Journalism’s Inverted Pyramid
Present most important information early,
Then spend the rest of the time
supporting
It.
Common “Bottom Lines” Summarize:
• The department agreed to allocate an additional $50,000 to the new project and to meet vendors who can support the 3Q due date. Here are the details of the meeting.
Move a reader to action:
• My visit on June 28 to the San Diego market revealed back-order problems needing your immediate response.
Announce Policy:
• To Accommodate those of you on flextime, the cafeteria will now be open from 6 A.M. to 3 P.M.
In Summary: A bottom-line statement summarizes the main points
of the message to get it out as clearly and quickly as possible
It may explain the action you advise taking
Or what action/response you hope the reader will take
• Bottom-line statements never tell the purpose of the communication
Purpose Statements VS. Bottom-line “The following are comments heard from
retailers and consumers, and my observations of industry and competitive performance.”
“The following is a summary of my recent market visit.”
Purpose Statements (Continued)
“This represents a response to your letter regarding the expansion of our promotion in Sacramento.”
“This report will recommend the action we should take against the competition.”
“John, this is a recap of the sales meeting on 4 April.”
Omit the first line for a more powerful opening statement
The enclosed data compare our status against the competition. Through the week of 28 June we have lost share in retail sales while our three major competitors have gained. A close look at the data will show our downward slide.
Enclosed please find attached Draft #3 of our Chug-a-lug™ National Relaunch Implementation Manual. We need your help to ensure that the information in the attached draft is one hundred percent accurate and up to date.
What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been working hard lately and I would like to take some time off.
To write a strong bottom-line, ask yourself:• “What is the most important point I need to
make?”
Book: p. 26-27, Book: p. 35
When not to “Bottom-line” When writing a reader with a strong
negative bias toward your recommendation or request
Book: p.41
Review: Getting Started/Organizing Step 1
• Determine your objective
• Determine reader’s needs
• Get thoughts on paper• Brainstorming/mind-mapping• “Zero Draft”
Step 2• Organizing your message
• Bottom-line statement instead of purpose statement• Journalism’s inverted pyramid• When not to bottom-line
Book: p. 225-227
Step 3: Editing for Style, Tone, and Grammar
What is Business Style?“Basically to be, or, not to be, that, undoubtedly, is actually the vital question one has to consider for certain.”
Sentence Clutter vs. BrevityOmit each and every single word for which you do
not have a use.
or
Omit useless words.
10 Ways to Cut Sentence Clutter1. Eliminate heavy sentence starters2. Eliminate clutter from sentence midsections 3. Omit overloaded nouns4. Get rid of lifeless verbs5. Delete dull intensifiers6. Eliminate prepositional fillers7. Get rid of imprecise and ambiguous language8. Get rid of pretentious language9. Reduce redundancy10. Cut out clichéd openings and closings
1. Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters
Sentences that begin with “It ”• Much of the clutter hangs in front of the sentence in
common phrases that begin with it
• It should be noted that my budget for next year is a 22 percent decrease from…
• It was found that the observed increase in sales was due to…
*Helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later
More Examples It is worthy of note… It must be remembered that… It has come to my attention that… It is important to note… It is imperative that…
Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters Sentences that begin with “there ”
• Much of the clutter hangs in front of the sentence in common phrases that begin with there
• There were eight divisions that underwent audit.
• There are two options available for us to consider.
Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters Other sentence starters
• Enclosed please find…• Please be advised that…• As you are aware…• Attached please find…
*All possibly helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later
Book p. 86-92, exercises p. 91-92
2. Eliminate Wordy Sentence Midsections
“Who”, “which”, and “that”• When edited from sentence midsections many other
lazy words go with them
• Wordy: John Jameson is a manager who is held in high regard by the chairman of the board.
• Revised: John Jameson is a manager highly regarded by the chairman of the board.
*Helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later
More Examples with “Who”
• Wordy: Karen Strong is the type of a woman who always arrives on time.
• Revised: Karen Strong always arrives on time.
• Wordy: Fred Jones, who is our choice for the position, arrives on Friday.
• Revised: Fred Jones, our choice for the position, arrives on Friday.
Examples with “Which”• Wordy: Old Navy, which is a subsidiary of Gap Inc.,
handles its own marketing.
• Revised: Old Navy, a Gap Inc. subsidiary, handles its own marketing.
• Wordy: An e-mail, which is an electronic piece of business writing less formal than a business letter, serves to speed communication.
• Revised: E-mail, less formal than a business letter, speeds communication.
Examples with “That”• Wordy: All I can say is that he admitted to being late three
times last week.
• Revised: He admitted to being late three times last week.
• Wordy: ....agreed to write all advertising that will go into the program.
• Revised: ....agreed to write all program advertising.
Book p. 94-96, exercise p.96
3. Omit Overloaded Nouns Avoid using nouns as adjectives and piling them
up in front of one another
• Her job involves fault analysis systems troubleshooting manual preparation.
vs.
• Her job involves preparing manuals to help troubleshoot fault-analysis systems.
Stan is an integrated third-generation software engineer.
vs.
Stan, develops integrated third-generation software.
More Examples Global Positioning Interface Module
Communications Processor Hardware Design Specification
vs.
Global Positioning Interface Module: The Hardware Design Specification for the Communications Processor
Book: Systematic Buzz-Phrase Projector p.98
4. Get Rid of Lifeless Verbs Reduce lifeless verbs which add wordiness
• Be• Make• Have• Go• Get• Come
• Wordy: According to a recent poll it was revealed...
vs.
• Improved: a recent poll revealed...
More Examples• Wordy: The manager will make a decision next week.
• Improved: The manager will decide next week.
• Wordy: I have a suspicion that the VP will resign.
• Improved : I suspect that the VP will resign.
• Wordy: The product manager will go to meet the marketing consultant next Tuesday.
• Improved : The product manager will meet the marketing consultant next Tuesday.
More Examples• Wordy: The Sales Rep of the Year will get to have a
meeting with the CEO.
• Improved: The sales Rep of the Year will have a meeting with the CEO.
• Wordy: The division manager came to the conclusion the incentive would work.
• Improved : The division manager concluded the incentive would work.
Book: p.101
5. Delete Dull Intensifiers Dull intensifiers may weaken rather than intensify
business writing
• These words basically add very little to really distinguish your writing from other rather poor examples. If you cannot utterly reject these words before they hit paper, strike them out as you revise. Instead of somewhat intensifying your meaning, these words sort of bloat your sentences, probably diluting the essence of the word that follows each intensifier.
Dull Intensifiers• Very • More• Rather• Really• Utterly• Somewhat• Mostly
• Totally • Extremely • Slightly • Basically • Probably • Sort of/kind of• Quite
Basically, taxes are figured in the same manner.
The manager was really concerned when John was so extremely late this morning.
Dull Intensifiers (continued) Often intensifiers are used as a substitute for
using the “right word”.
Try removing the intensifier to see if the word can stand on its own. If not turn to a thesaurus.
• Very hard = Strenuous, difficult• Very loud = Thunderous, deafening, emphatic
Book: p.109
6. Eliminate Prepositional Fillers Look for prepositions and the phrases they’re
attached to and eliminate them if possible
• Prepositions: with, on, under, over, by, in, at, near, etc.
• …a copy of your check in the amount of $338.00.
vs.
• …a copy of your check for $338.00
Eliminate Prepositional Fillers (Continued)
Too Many Words
• …on an annual basis• in the course of• for the purpose of• in many cases
Improved
• annually• while• to• often
Book: p.110
7. Eliminate Imprecise and Ambiguous Language
Imprecise
• We have your recent letter.• Please send us a supply
of pamphlets for distribution.• You can count on our quick
turn around.• The sampling was a huge success.
Specific
• We have your May 2 letter.• Please send us 500 pamphlets
to distribute.• You can count on our 24-hour
turnaround.• The sampling served more
than 3,000 people.
Book p.112-116
Strive to be precise. Your writing will reflect confidence and knowledge.
8. Banish Pretentious Language
Jargon
• Viable alternatives• Commensurate • Facilitate• Scenario• Optimize
Plain Language
• Alternatives, possibilities• Equal to• Help • Possibility• Enhance, improve
Avoid the temptation to pad your writing with language of jargon, foreign phrases, Multi-syllabic words, legalese, and vogue words.
Banish Pretentious Language (continued)
Foreign Terms
• Bona fide• Carte blanche• Joie de vivre• Modus Operandi• Nonpareil• Sans • Raison d’etre• Per se
Plain Language
• Genuine • Authority, full rein• Joy of/zest for life • Method • Without match• Without• Primary reason for• As such
Book: p. 118 (box) -125, exercise: p. 126
9. Reduce Redundancy “The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two
words where on will do.” Thomas Jefferson
• Knowledgeable experts advise never, ever using redundant words and verbiage. Redundancies are unnecessary and useless. They clutter your writing by repeating over and over again what you’ve already said. Eliminate completely these needless goofs. Remember, your ultimate goal is to write clearly and concisely.
Reduce Redundancy (continued)
Redundant
• Continue on• Cooperate together• Count up• Courteous and polite• Definitely interested• Depreciate in value
Concise
• Continue • Cooperate• Count • Use just one• Interested • Depreciate
Make every word work in a sentence. If it doesn’t contribute, remove it.
Book p. 128-131, exercises p. 131-132
10. Cut out Clichés Avoid overused openers and closers that have become clichés.
• Opening clichés• Don’t immediately refer to previous correspondence. Long stale
introductions waste time.
• Not: This confirms our phone conversation on June 20 in regard to our July 2 meeting with Haynes, Inc., to discuss the new compensation policy.
• Instead: Thank you for agreeing to attend our July 2 meeting with Haynes, Inc., to discuss the new compensation policy. As I mentioned during our phone conversation, we would like your reaction to the salary ranges for the engineers in your department.
Opening Clichés (continued) Avoid (edit out) overused openers
• I am pleased to inform you…• It has come to my attention…• Per your memo…• This is in response to your request of…• Regarding your letter of…• In reference to our meeting last week…
Opening Clichés (continued)
Avoid opening statements that suggest a point but don’t indicate your position on it
• “Waiting until the fourth quarter to raise price on the new product line is an idea to consider.”
vs.
• “I recommend raising prices on the new product line during the fourth quarter.”
Do you believe it’s a good idea? If so, say so!
Opening Clichés (continued) Avoid opening with social comments
• “Hope the kids are fine and that the house renovation is complete.”
• While this may be nice it’s unnecessary in business correspondence.
• Don’t use cardboard opening statements.• The best openings are simple and direct. Use them to take
a stand rather than being wishy-washy and trite.
Closing Clichés
Closing Clichés
• Should you have any questions or require further assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
• Thank you for your help in this matter. • Thank you for your attention to this matter.• Your prompt attention will be appreciated.
Instead
• As always, please call me if you have questions.
• Thanks for your help.• Our presence in the market-place
is ever growing thanks to your efforts.
• Your response by (date) will ensure the accuracy of my report.
Make your closings as precise and sincere as your openings.Avoid closings like the following ones which have become clichés.
Book p.136-142, exercise p. 142
Review: Business Style (10 ways to cut clutter)
1. Eliminate heavy sentence starters
2. Eliminate clutter from sentence midsections (who, that, which)
3. Omit overloaded nouns
4. Get rid of lifeless verbs
5. Delete dull intensifiers
Review: Business Style (continued)
6. Eliminate prepositional fillers
7. Get rid of imprecise and ambiguous language
8. Get rid of pretentious language
9. Reduce redundancy
10. Cut out clichéd openings and closings
What is Business Tone?
“Life is not so short that there is always time for courtesy.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Things to Remember Establish common ground with reader
• State message in a tone and with a personality that won’t distract the reader from your message
Don’t write up or down to a reader but rather to that reader
Avoid the negative by accentuating the positive
Use Antonyms to Remove The Negative “Not”
Instead of
• He did not accept the help.
• The office will not be open then.• They were not present during the
conference call.
• The meeting did not start on time.
Write
• He declined the help.
• The office will be closed then.• They were absent during the
conference call.
• The meeting started late.
Use Synonyms to Avoid Wordy, Negative Sounding Phrases
Instead of
• not acceptable• not important• does not like• did not pay heed to• did not have much faith in
Write
• unsuitable, unfit• minor• prefers• avoided• doubted
Negative Neutral Positiveobvious clear notable
confrontation discussion meeting
roly-poly heavyset substantial
defiant independent self reliant
infamous well-known famous
foreign non-national international
getup dress/apparel ensemble
calculating clever astute
Be Alert to Shades of Meaning
Foster a Supportive vs. Defensive Climate
DefensiveReaders tend to become defensive toward people who seem to be:
• Evaluating their behavior
• Trying to control them
• Trying to manipulate them
• Indifferent to their welfare
• Considering themselves superior
• Knowing it all
SupportiveReaders tend to communicate openly with people who seem to be:
• Describing their behavior
• Cooperating in solving problems
• Acting spontaneously
• Concerned with their welfare
• Considering themselves equal
• Open to others’ ideas
Delivering Unpopular Messages Do
• Do state your purpose up front
• Do opt for neutral words when you can’t be positive. Be courteous.
• Do allow your reader to save face. That is, minimize attack on the person. Focus on the issue. For example, “An out-of-stock condition has developed” is preferable to “you’ve created a problem.”
• Do focus on what you have done and what the reader can do to resolve the problem. If possible give the reader a choice. State what actions you’ve taken to remedy the situation.
• Do inject people’s names and use contractions to warm your writing and sound natural.
Don’t
• Don’t start with a once-upon-a-time detail.
• Don’t use hostile or inflammatory words (failed, refused, must, should, imperative, etc.)
• Don’t “scream” in print. (Don’t misuse capital letters or bold effects)
• Don’t belabor your assault. (Also don’t use overblown apologies if you are at fault)
• Don’t be stuffy, inflated, or adorned even when bearing bad news.
Banishing Bias Biased
• adman• anchorman• bellboy• businessman• chairman• common man• fireman• foreman• freshman• mailman• man-hours
Alternative
• ad executive • anchor • bellhop• professional, executive• chair, coordinator, head• common person• fire fighter• supervisor• first-year student• mail carrier• hours, time, labor
Gender Bias
Banishing Bias (Continued)
Biased
• mankind• man-made• manpower• men working• policeman• salesman• spokesman• stewardess• waiter, waitress• workman
Alternative
• humanity, human beings • synthetic, manufactured• personnel, staff• roadwork• police officer• salesperson, sales rep.• spokesperson• flight attendant• server, wait staff• worker
Gender Bias
PC Language (Use with care)
Non-PC
• old• stupid• nearsighted• lazy• disorganized• short
PC
• chronologically gifted • differently logical• optically inconvenienced• motivationally deficient• non-traditionally ordered• vertically challenged
Review: Business Tone Avoid the negative by accentuating the positive
• He did not accept the help. Vs. He declined the help.
Foster a Supportive vs. Defensive Climate• Evaluating their behavior vs. Describing their behavior
Banish Bias• Mankind vs. Humanity
Be Aware of PC Language• Old vs. chronologically gifted
Book: p.149-155
Grammar Misusing grammar can hurt your personal
image as well as your companies image.
But don’t feel badly!
Were going to address the most frequent grammar mistakes by examining grammar’s 5 deadly sins.
Five Deadly Sins Incorrect pronouns Subject-verb disagreement Lack of parallel structure Run-on sentences with the word “however” Confusing word pairs
1. Incorrect Pronouns Using myself incorrectly
• Incorrect: They shipped the order to Tom and myself.• Correct: They shipped the order to Tom and me.
• RULE: A reflexive pronoun is used when the object of the verb is the same person, place, or thing as the subject. The verb’s action is reflected back on the subject.
• I burned myself. vs. I burned me.• She gave herself a raise vs. She gave her a raise
• *Correct: The king himself was there. (Used for emphasis)
Incorrect Pronouns Using I for me
• Incorrect: They shipped the order to Tom and I.• Correct: They shipped the order to Tom and me.
• Rule: I is always the subject of the verb. Me is always the object of the verb.
• Debra and I headed the committee. vs. Debra and me headed…• Send your invoices to Luis and me. vs. Send them to Luis and I.
Incorrect Pronouns Switching from singular to plural pronoun reference
• Incorrect: Each employee must punch their time card before leaving.
• Correct: Each employee must punch his or her time card before leaving.
• Rule: Pronouns need to agree in number and gender with the nouns to which they refer.
• All division managers will address their wholesalers at the conference. vs.
• Each division manager will address their wholesalers at the conference.
Incorrect Pronouns (continued)
*Beware of gender bias:*Beware of gender bias:
• Each division manager will address his Each division manager will address his wholesaler at the conference.wholesaler at the conference.
vs.vs.
• Each division manager will address a wholesaler Each division manager will address a wholesaler at the conference.at the conference.
2. Subject-Verb Disagreement Intervening phrase between subject and verb
hinders proper agreement
• Incorrect: The boxes containing the missing information is being delivered Friday.
• Correct: The boxes containing the missing information are being delivered Friday.
• Rule: The subject and it’s verb must agree.
• Each of the managers agrees with the decision. vs.
• Each of the managers agree with the decision.
Detect the Problem in Agreement The consensus of past conference
attendees were positive.
Multiple production environments, although offering business flexibility, has caused us to decrease output.
Supply the Correct Form of the Verb1. Excessive layers of packaging (induce,
induces) consumers to buy another company’s product.
2. The use of styrofoam by fast food chains (have, has) come under vocal attack.
3. Guidelines for the safe disposal of industrial waste (are, is) being more carefully enforced.
3. Lack of Parallel Structure Creating confusion by not conforming to parallel
grammatical forms
• Unparallel: This project is tedious, difficult and makes me very tired.
• Parallel: This project is tedious, difficult and tiring.
• Rule: A parallel sentence is one in which elements of equal weight are expressed in equal grammatical forms.
• Acting, singing, and dancing are Maria’s strongest talents. vs.
• Acting, singing, and to dance are Maria’s strongest talents.
Detect Error in Parallel Structure I see one third of a nation ill housed, ill clothed, and not
getting any food.
Dorothy Carin was happy about her promotion and getting a pay raise.
The sales manager advises employees to work hard and against relying on luck.
The service center promises to sell us the truck parts and that the cost will be reasonable.
Detect Error in Parallel Structure
1. She offered him a job as a salesperson, with an attractive starting salary, commission structure, and the benefits were also good.
2. Steve was concerned about income, security, and to be able to advance on the job.
3. With experience in sales, public relations, and the ability to supervise others, Jane sought a position as a store Manager.
4. Instead of using resumes, agencies, or even answering help wanted ads, he personally visited every major store in his community.
4. Run-On Sentences with the Word However
Wrongly joining two independent clauses with however and other words of transition
• Run-on: I wanted to go out, however we stayed at home.• Correct: I wanted to go out; however, we stayed at home.
or I wanted to go out. However, we stayed at home.
Rule: Words of transition (adverbial clauses) cannot join two independent clauses with only a comma.
More Run-On Sentences with However Run-on: Our promotion was successful, however the
competition also lowered its prices. Correct: Our promotion was successful; however, the
competition also lowered its prices.• or
• Our promotion was successful. However, the competition also lowered its prices.• or
• Our promotion was successful, but the competition also lowered its prices.
But is a conjunction so it can link independent clauses
5. Confusing Word Pairs Similar words meaning entirely different
things
• Already vs. all ready
• Already… adverb, before this time• All ready… adjective, all prepared
Confusing Word Pairs (examples)
He’s only humane. Its almost time for our meeting. The loyal servants prostated themselves
before the king. It’s so quite in here you can almost hear a pin
drop. Now that we’ve finished dinner, what is for
desert?
Book p.186-194
Spelling Ghoti
• Enough = f• Women= i• Fiction = sh
Most frequently misspelled words
Book: p. 208-213
Review: Grammar (Five Deadly Sins)
1. Incorrect pronouns2. Subject-verb disagreement3. Lack of parallel structure4. Run-on sentences with the word “however”5. Confusing word pairs
• Frequently misspelled words
Writing It! (3 Steps to Success!)
Three Step Plan for Effective Writing Step 1: “Zero Draft” (quick)
• Getting started techs• Determine objective• Mind mapping/outline• Bogus first sentence
Step 2: Organizing• Bottom-lining
• Find main point and place it first• Strong headline/subject line• Original closing line
Step 3: Ruthless Editing• Style (Sentence clutter)• Tone• Grammar• Spelling
E-mail: Advantages and Disadvantages
E-mail: Writing Guidelines
Bottom-line your message• Start with a strong subject line
•Create headlines
Subject Lines
Bland Title
• Section 2.3
• Pricing Analysis
• Marketing Meeting
• Account Information
Informative Headline
• 33 Ways to Cut Costs
• Pricing Analysis Suggests Status Quo
• Marketing Meeting Schedule Change
• Two Top Accounts Change Management
Create *headlines which provide the outcome (bottom-line) of your message.You’ve got to tell your reader something. A good headline can stand alone.
*Headlines work best when they contain a verb!
Subject Lines as Headlines Ways to entice, invite, and encourage the reader to find out more
• Explain: • “How to Increase Productivity”
• Use numbers:• “Five Steps to Increase Productivity”
• Use an ”ing” verb• “Increasing Your Productivity”
• Create a need• “The Need to Increase Productivity”
• Use a whole sentence:• Declarative:
• “Increasing Productivity Decreases Costs”• Imperative:
• “Increase Productivity Before our Competitors Do”• Interrogative:
• “How Can We Increase Productivity?”
Email: Formatting Guidelines Try to limit it to one topic per email.
Limit sentence length and keep paragraphs short for easy reading.
Use bullets or numbers whenever possible.
Use an *asterisk* around a word to emphasize a point
Do not capitalize whole words that are not titles. Capitalizing is generally interpreted as SHOUTING to your reader.
Reread before sending
BTWBCNUFWIWFYIIMHOOBOROTFLTNSTAAFLTTFNTTYL
by the waybe seeing youfor what it's worthfor your informationin my humble opinionor best offerrolling on the floor laughingthere's no such thing as a free lunchta ta for nowtalk to you later
Abbreviations (use sparingly!)
Emoticons:-);-):-|:->8-):-D:-/:-(:-P:-Q:-@:-O:-*:-{}
Smiley faceWink (light sarcasm)IndifferenceDevilish grin (heavy sarcasm)Eye-glassesShock or surprisePerplexedFrown (anger or displeasure)Wry smileSmokerScreamYellDrunkWears lipstick
