what is wisdom 7b

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of breathtaking moments. 1

WHAT IS WISDOM???The moment a person realizes that reality has many faces, he/she takes the first step on the road to wisdom.

Hopstakens Newsletter the picturesque 7th edition April 11, 2007

This edition is dedicated to all members of the DDU family

This newsletter is published by Loek Hopstaken of Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies, Amsterdam, The Netherlands(www.hopstaken.com). Intended publics: Loeks personal international network, including many former studentsat DDU of both himself and his pal Peter van Oosten. Regular contributors: Peter van Oosten. Martin Zuurhout, LarryOConnor. This editions guest contributors: Eew Suwannaluck Suwannawong; Zafer Oter; Zeng Qian (Tracy);Tianjian Liu (Joe); Nguyen Thi Hai Ha (Jenny); Iouri Ukrainski; Junlin Li. Photos: Peter & Loek; photo collage:Peter; Zhou Lincheng (Apple); Ling Jing (Kate);Vo Ngoc Lien Huong (Jane); Sashanka Poudyal; Liu Fan (Sarah);Paul Scholey; Wendy Jansens friend.All correspondence: [email protected] .

Old friends / Bookends . By the way, what did you carry in your pocket, Peter?

Before I forget it, let me introduce you to http://www.thehairstyler.com. Check it out.

1. Welcome to the picturesque 7th Edition!!! by Loek Hopstaken

Whos that girl? Well, shes mrs. Kooij now, and pregnant!

Can you name a better way to start a sping edition? I cant. Spring is the time, and new life is starting. Two DDUbabies born. Many pics, many contributions from several readers. Whatever the state of the world, whatever the state

of DDU, were all going strong and doing quite fine. Sure, ups & downs plague us every now & then. But winter haspassed, the economy is on the rise again, and I see smiles around me. Is it just me, or is it spring? It took two moreweeks, yet here you have it, the picturesque 7

thedition of What is Wisdom??? Enjoy it!
http://www.hopstaken.com/mailto:[email protected]://www.thehairstyler.com/http://www.thehairstyler.com/mailto:[email protected]://www.hopstaken.com/


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Work Experience

One of the things many students are nervous about, is getting work experience. And those who now have workexperience tell me that life working is working harder than working when they were at school. I knew this all along;Ive been a student, and I know how it feels to be encapsuled in the daily tredmill of the regular life in offices andfactories. So what is this, work experience? It means to work with, communicate with, create with people from

breakfast to dinner time, and all the time producing something that customers find worth paying money for. This is

different from working from exam to exam, from assignment to assignment, until you finally hit the 240 credit markand being eligible to receive a much-adored diploma. That you then have to get it validated by officials in Groningenand The Hague is just a formality, and a golden opportunity to see the impressively flat Dutch scenery from a trainwindow. (This is an example of British humor, or better, humour; not everyone appreciates it )

After 40 years of work experience I started as a Wednesday night dish washer in a Chinese restaurant, gaining manykilos as the cook wanted me try all his dishes after all those years I can only say it has enriched my life, and helpedme to have a life filled with many interesting events and learning moments. And I must confess that these past fouryears at DDU however, have been the most gratifying. Which may sound strange for someone who played an active

part in some major events in the Dutch business world. Such as the privatization process of a governmentorganization (Postbank, a 5 year process) and two major mergers (Postbank and NMB Bank in 1989, and later the

Nationale Nederlanden becoming the ING Group, 1992). DDU has reopened my eyes to the world, just as they wereopened by the worlds events in 1968. Im almost 56, and feel connected in many ways to the generation of Chinese

and Vietnamese, who are seeking their own life and identity, being the first generation to come out of a long periodwhere tradition and culture ruled all of life.

This is one explanation why it seems so easy to get along so well with so many of you. Peter experiences this as well.This may very well be why its so much fun to create this silly newsletter and its so sad that were slowly but surelyending an all-too-short era of intense cooperation and mutual inspiration. Several of you have become sons &daughters, even younger brothers & sisters. Some have become close friends. Some even more than that. Its veryhard to explain to those who havent been involved in this process. Yet, it is what it is, and it has profoundly touchedour lives. Ok, enough of this philandering enjoy this picture-loaded edition, with contributions from somenoteworthy DDU alumnae & -i.

My laptop on the road every Wednesday from Deventer to Rotterdam

Peter Waite

As you know, Peter Waite is seriously ill, hes behaving like a real fighting man to battle his illness, and hesundergoing treatment. We have no news. But as we say in Holland: no news is good news. And you know mr. Waite:when he gets angry, you better do what he says. His illness should obey, and get the %$#@*( out of his body. Helikes to receive email: [email protected].

Loeks Dream

Within a week Ill be in Vietnam. In 12 days I want to find out of there is any possibility to build up a viable activity,possibly with former students. An idea is Vietnam Management Support, an institute that delivers management

courses and consultancy. If youre interested in my business proposal, Ill send it to you (pdf). Of course I also hopeto see many Vietnamese who graduated from DDU. This is all about following my dream (see What is Wisdom???No. 4, June 2006). Peter is of course green with jealousy. (Oh yes. Dont forget Peters birthday: April 29!)
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]


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Deniz at work do not disturb

DDU: final phase

Although DDU will continue after June, probably on different location, the DDU as we know it will be gone soon.June 26 (a Tuesday) will be the last Graduation Ceremony. In the next issue there will be a full coverage of this lastDDU event. If youre in the area: block the afternoon in your agenda, and come to Deventer for a very last DDUmoment.

The Amsterdam Amstelpark, first days of spring

2. What do you know? selected by Loek Hopstaken


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1. Accustom your mind to judge the proportion of things as they more or less conduce to your own fortune orends.

2. Never row against the stream.3. Do not always wait for occasions but sometimes challenge and induce them.4. Undertake nothing which of necessity takes up a great quantity of time.5. Imitate nature, which does nothing in vain. Mix and interlace your several kinds of business. Nothing is

more impolitic than to be entirely based upon one action.6. Always have a window open to fly out at, or a secret door to retire by.7. Love as if you were sometime to hate, and hate as if you were sometime to love. This is the maxim of Bias,

not construed to any point of perfidiousness.

Now, Im not going to explain all these condensed wisdoms dealing with human nature (maxims). All I want to sayis, live passionately, yet learn how to deal with peoples emotions including your own, be kind and respectful tothose who deserve your kindness and respect, keep agreements, dont be too realistic too often (Dream! Dream!Dream!) but make sure you have some future security.

ARTICLES WRITTEN BY GUESTS

3. Meet Tianjian (Joe) Liu by Zeng Qian (Tracy)

Interviews have appeared before in newsletters. But I guess friends interview friends might be the first time, and itseems not such an easy job.

Joe and I have been classmates and good friends from DDU to HAN. Work permit problems blocked his stay in TheNetherlands, but his pursuit will never stop. While he is starting his own career in his home country, I think theremight have some things/ideas he would like to share with everybody who knows him or not.

Tianjian (Joe) Liu, graduated from DDU in July 2004 and April 2006 from HAN. In school, normally we call him Joewhile Chinese students will call him Joe or Tianjian. However, during the time he was working in a Dutch firm whichhas business relations with China, his boss and his colleagues insisted to use his Chinese name Tianjian, althoughsometimes they cant pronounce it correctly.

Joe in Holland: Tianjian (below) with his close friends Zeng Qian (Tracy), Peng Jianxiong (Saxon)and Cao Yue (Chrissie)


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I guess many DDU students know about you, however, an introduction is appreciated. So first please tell us who

you are, where are you from, what are you doing right now, and little more about yourself.

Sure, I think it is a good idea that let people know my name before they start hearing my story. My name is TianjianLiu, as you said, my English name is Joe. Actually, my English name comes from nowhere, I mean, there is nospecial meaning, just because it is simple enough. I am 26 this year. During last five years I have been studying andworking in the Netherlands, which I call my second hometown.

My home town is called WUXI, which is famous for the Tai Lake and also the Mountains around city. If you havechance you really should come and you will find a truly magnificent environment.

I studied in DDU for the first 2.5 years. After graduation I continued my study at Hogeschool van Arnhem enNijmegen-HAN for my second bachelor degree. After 1.5 years study there, I started working for a Dutch company: itproduces baby strollers. I worked as a Fareast marketing coordinate, and was also responsible for the production andlogistics in China. Now, after five years, I have finally come back to my country to continue my career. I am stillworking for the European companies for the production and marketing in China in same field baby products. In thefuture I plan to have my own company in Shanghai.

What do you consider to be the major lesson you have learned these past years?

Most important, I would like to say is experience in both work and life. A lot of people asked me You have obtainedtwo bachelor degrees there, have you learned something? The answer is YES, for sure. I mean we always learnsomething from study and from the books, which of course is very important. No matter in DDU or HAN, I haveleaned a lot from the course and teachers. On the other hand, I would like to say the experiences I have got during mystudy in the Netherlands is also very important. If I really need to pick up a name for the major lesson I have learned,I think is the answer to how to make your life when you are abroad.

What brought you the most during these years in the Netherlands? And after you went back, what is in your mind

about this second-home town?

During these years in the Netherlands, I think Friends have become something I cant miss. Most of them are Dutch.I have met so many people during the past five years, my friends, my colleagues, my teachers and other people whoknow me and helped me. When I lay on the bed before I sleep these days, I am still thinking of them, the time we

spent together there, no matter Dutch, Chinese, French, German, Vietnamese, and American. I learned a lot fromthem, and I really should thank for all of them let me have a really perfect life in the Netherlands. Those memorableyears will be the most important treasure in my life.

I have been home for one month. I was talking with people around me here about living in Holland. Since 2002, whenI arrived there, my whole life changed. I think I was really affected by living life the Dutch way. Generally spoken, Ireally love the Dutch and their country, because I have been really close to this country and the people who live there.I lived with them, I ate with them, I studied with them and also I worked with them. The country is so organizedcomparing to my own country, clean, simple, ruled. The people there, most of them are really nice people, friendly,kindly and helpful, at least the people I have met.

As you all known, the Netherlands is famous for tulips and windmills, their cheese culture, and Dutch are famous fortheir open mind. This is only partly true, in my opinion. Open-mind is compared to most who are from Asia.

Actually, a lot of Dutch I have come to know are quite closed-minded when they are doing certain things, reallyfollowing rules and principles , step by step.

How is your reintegration in Chinese society going? What do you find easy, what difficult?

Most difficult thing is how to deal with Chinese again. Maybe you think it is a joke, but it is true. After I came back Ireally found it is so different to live in China compared to the Netherlands. As I said before, Dutch is quite simple andruled, here in China it is just an opposite, I mean, you will find the way you deal with Dutch is forbidden here, and therules of course differ a lot.

A very simple example. When you use the cash machine in the Netherlands, you take out your bank pass before youtake your money. Here in China you need take your money first and then your bank pass. So I almost forgot my bank

pass when I went to cash money in China after five years. I have already got used to the Western way a lot, because I

was only 20 when I went to abroad. I learned those things so fast and the older I become, it gets more difficult tochange. Especially, nowadays, I am dealing with Chinese business men and business issues, it is really another majorI should start learning again even if I have two business degrees.


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Do you have unpleasant time in the work? How do you handle it?

Only when you are your own boss, you will find less unpleasant times or even a boss who has more to worry about.Most of time, I am really a typical Asian, I mean when I was working in the company, I was always the one who onlyhas a few things to say and express. Miscommunication brings most of the unpleasant times, when culture shockhappens.

That is something I really learned from my work, how to work with Dutch, how to make both us happy. Be honestand be open, Try to show your ideas, no matter what the others ideas are, maybe yours is better, just dont hide them.If you dont want the taxi to go left, but you never tell the driver, you will never be happy, because you will neverreach your destination.

When there is a unpleasant time and conflict with my colleagues, I was always polite, of course, boss is always bossand supervisor is always supervisor, I cant just fight them. Id rather have them to be my friends. When theatmosphere becomes cold a little bit, I will find a right time, make appointment with them, or just put down the work inmy hand, have a cup of coffee, also make them one, shows my respect. Then I will directly go to the core point. Mostof time, they will turn to be very nice, and apologize to me. Then if my idea is really good, they will take it and whichmakes my day the best day, or sometimes they are right, but then handling this conflict makes the friendship evenstronger after talking and communication.

What would you recommend a Chinese business man/woman in 'dealing with the Dutch'?

Dont be too polite. As I known, a lot of Chinese are still over-respectful with western people, but there is really noneed for that. Dutch always treat people fairly, especially in the business field. Again, be open and honest, if you haveone dollar and you say so, they will find a one dollar business.Chinese way of respecting is not so suitable for Dutch, a full table of food and cigarettes is no use for Dutch to finish acontract, and they need see the real thing, real figures. On another hand, they of course are really respected for ourculture, and they love Chinese food too.

Joe in China

What would bring our countries together?

A Bridge.

I would like to use my own experiences and the advantage that knowing Dutch and Chinese, find chance to use myown knowledge bring Dutch business and Chinese business together. One way, I know how Dutch think, and how they

are doing in business. On the another hand, I know Chinese way of business and also Chinese market. I would like tobring my Dutch network and Chinese network together, to let more and more Chinese companies knows about theDutch and also let more and more Dutch know the real booming China.


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What are your future plans?

Building up my own empire. Well, as I said, I would like to have my own company in the future. In one way, to havemy own experience and knowledge bring me benefit. On the other hand, very important is to help my Dutch friendsand people from my second hometown know my country and start their business life here, and last but not least, 2008,welcome to China for the Olympic Games, If you need a local guide, send me an email. If you are interested in me, you

also can visit my Blog- http://joeinholland.spaces.live.com .

Well, we thank you very much for sharing your colorful experiences. Different people will have different life,

however, stick to who you are, be honest and open; we wish you have a splendid life in the future. We keep in touch.

Interviewer: Qian (Tracy) Zeng

Interviewee: Tianjian (Joe) Liu

4. Victory! At last! by Iouri Ukrainski

It is a rectangular piece of plastic, credit card-sized with shades of white, blue and red; and it has my portrait imprintedon it. In short, it looks like a normal student residence permit that has been my local ID document for over 5 years now.Just another piece of plastic, one might say; and yet, to me it is much more than that. This piece of plastic fills my heartwith joy every time I hold it in my hands. To me, it seems like some kind of magic ticket into the future which evadedme for so long, but is now firmly within my grasp. It has not always been that way

In autumn 2003, Yury was full of confidence about his future. And why would not he? Just turning 19 a few weeksago, he had good reasons to look back with satisfaction and forward with hope. He had recently moved into his newdwelling a lovely apartment located within 7 minutes walking distance from Haagse Hogeschool and hardly morethan 20 minutes by tram from the golden beaches of Scheveningen. The royal city of The Hague stood in his newaddress and would before long become his latest hometown.

Iouri (Yuri) and Dan (or Zoey; December 2006), who had just graduatedas a Master in Investment Analysis from Tilburg University.

His flat was a mess with the furniture he just bought from IKEA only partly assembled. But if a rare guest (Yury wasyet to make any friends in this city) would enter his house, one of the first things they would notice might be the (thenstill DDBS) Bachelor in International Business Administration degree hanging on the wall. Attained in July, this was atestament of two good years spent on study, friends, travelling and all that shapes the life of a foreign university

student. Yury graduated top of the class with an average of 8.4; his thesis scored 9.5 in the closing days of the bachelorprogramme.
http://joeinholland.spaces.live.com/http://joeinholland.spaces.live.com/


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The thesis was more than a fine piece of work though. Ever since Yury remembered himself, he had loved airplanes.And it did not come as a surprise that he chose to conduct his graduation research on the topic of Airbus theEuropean plane maker that was now challenging the mighty Boeing of the USA. After graduation, and on advice fromhis family, Yury forwarded his thesis to Airbus itself; and that was well-received indeed. The official invitation wassent to him to visit the German HQ of Airbus in Hamburg to attend a job interview. All travel and accommodationcosts are to be paid by the company.

However, Yury never made it to Hamburg, not for an interview at least. He had just begun a new course in The Hagueand could not give it all up even for a dream job with Airbus. Instead, he asked the company to offer him a placementin a bit more than a year from now, as then his internship semester was scheduled to commence. But internship, itseems, was even harder to arrange than a job. An early sign of sad time to come it was indeed.

In September 2004, the placement preparations were already launched. The school advised to make use of their owncompany database, personal networks as well as a traditional way of applying for an internship. Having a Bachelordegree at hand and an average of 8+ in his new university, Yury thought he had a certain advantage over otherstudents.However, this turned to be more of a wishful thinking on his part. The internship was supposed to start in February2005; but even in the middle of April, when almost everyone was already having a real placement abroad (or fakingone at home), Yury had no prospects whatsoever.

So it was the time to once again turn to the family for help and assistance. Only thanks to them, Yury was finally up tospeed and planning for his soon-to-come graduation and work. He wanted to complete his internship and graduate inAugust, then start working right away.

Not so fast, said the Dutch bureaucracy. Just because some company wants to employ you, does not yet mean thatyou will be given a chance to pay taxes to the Kingdom of The Netherlands. The work permit application waslaunched by the company and soon rejected by the authorities. An appeal was then prepared, but Yury decided toconsult a lawyer before going any further.

After reviewing the case, Yurys lawyer said that any appeal would be hopeless. The company had no experience withhiring non-EU citizens and, therefore, had not followed the right procedure. Any further appeals would have beenrejected as well. A different procedure had to be followed next time.

So Yury had little choice but to delay his graduation for a yet unknown period of time and once again start searching,this time for a job. Graduating earlier than a job was found would automatically mean losing a legal status in thecountry and being forced to leave. The labour market conditions were less than favourable too, with even the veryDutch having trouble finding a job, yet alone the poor Russians that are not even the EU citizens. In general, 2005 wasa very bad year for Yury, probably worst ever. That year, everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Andunfortunately, this was not just limited to study/work.

And then there was a string of career fairs, solicited and unsolicited applications, interviews and all the other steps onehas to take in order to get employed. Finally, in March 2006, Yury found a job. The employer found him through theCV which he posted online. Yury immediately seized the opportunity and was ready to graduate and start working rightaway.Not so fast, said the Dutch bureaucracy. You think you are now smart, finding another company, a lawyer and the

most effective way to start paying taxes to the Kingdom of The Netherlands? Your road to a work permit will be longand complicated. You will wait anxiously for months, not knowing what my decision will be or when that decision willcome.

And so the final stage of the struggle began preparations for Phase I application, collecting documents, waiting forthe result. That was followed by preparations for Phase II application, collecting even more documents, waiting for theresult. Phase II was the most lengthy. At first Yury expected to get a permit by his graduation (he finally scheduled itfor July 2006 a delay of one year); then by his birthday in September, then perhaps by the New Year. But the Lunar

New Year of 2007 was already approaching and there was still nothing.

Every day for almost a year Yury had to think about his application and what he could do should it fail. He had toanswer the many questions that his family and friends were asking and explain them why it was taking so long, forthere can be no logical explanation to this. On several occasions already, the lawyer recommended Yury to solve all his

problems by getting a Dutch partner. Maybe that is really the only solution?


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The permit was approved in early February; the card was given to Yury two months later (special thanks to Jolanda,Vanessa and their colleagues from IND Den Bosch and Gemeente Den Haag for their help with recovering the card).Finally, after such a long time of waiting and hoping, Yury could start not just working but actually earning somemoney. The family that supported him all these years will hopefully no longer have to bear the financial burden of sucha risky and costly enterprise as study abroad. And from now on Yurys friends will be able to read updates on his blogmore regularly (he promised himself not to post any news till he gets the work permit).

Lessons learned:

Plan carefully in advance. You should know what you want to achieve and when you want to achieve it. Oncethe broad vision of your future is set, you can move to scheduling your life in the run up to the big event, onestep at a time.

Information is the worlds most precious commodity. Get access to the crucial information regarding yoursituation.

Hiring a lawyer is often an optimal solution; costs money but ultimately pays off. And knowing all the finedetails of your case can change your life forever or sometimes even make a difference between life and death.

Be patient. However good your plan is and however well you are informed, thing can and will go wrong. Youshould be ready for that and stay on course.

Small changes to your plan and delays are acceptable as long as you keep your greater goal in mind.

And as for me, you can imagine I feel quite satisfied now. But I also realize that I am just at the very beginning of avery long road that is ahead of me. There are still plenty of ambitions to fulfil, goals to accomplish and, hopefully,good news to report.

But for today, that would be it.

Yours ever, Yury ([email protected]; [email protected])

5. My Very Dear PL by Nguyen Thi Hai Ha (Jenny)

My very dear PL ( Peter & Loek),I do not even know what to say, where to start, I do not even know how to handle such a complicated heart at themoment. But I do know for sure that I have been missing Holland, missing Deventer, school, friends and you both soso much.Sometimes words could not even express how I feel; therefore it sometimes causes me to the misunderstanding

between me and people Ive met. But I know I do love them from the bottom of my heart.

Jenny with her dearest teacher; Jenny watching the river boat on the IJssel
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]


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The Vietnamese table at the Dikke van Dale early summer 2005

Every moment Ive spent in Deventer, all people Ive met, every memory comes to my mind almost every night, so thatI was unable to sleep sometimes for the whole night, thinking about how I could turn back time.

Jenny with Rachael (February 2006) & Loek (May 2006)

6. Measuring my performance; a special make-up assignmentmade by Li Junlin (JetLi)(Peters original questions: ) Looking back at your career as a student International Business Administration

(Bachelor-degree) so far How would you measure your own performance? Were there different periods withdifferent (good less good bad very bad) results? How come? (What was / which were the reason(s) for that?)Can you make a difference between: inside & outside yourself, concerning those reasons? Are you really sure thoseresults were caused by either inside- or outside-reasons? How can you be so sure? What have you done to change that

/ those situation(s)? And: did you evaluate it (measure again) ? Did you ever measure your performance during thiscareer? (or did you just wait for the results of your exams?) All these questions: answer those in an essay. It would bevery nice, if you would even come up with more questions than I posed here and that you would also answer those inyour essay

(JetLis answer, made during his Christmas-holiday in China, when internet was broken down because of thedestroyed underwater wires between mainland China and Taiwan.)The essential elements to exam my personal performance in study and future, are these 8:


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1. my individual performance, 2. productivity, 3. management of processes, 4. actuality of knowledge, 4. co-operation,5. independence, 6. manners, 7. communication and 8. sharing information.However, in reality, its hard to keep those academic stuffs in your head. Therefore I developed my own ways, whichare more or less common with the 8 elements. Generally, its about the efficiency of managing your working time foreach task, and the cooperation of brainstorming (your memory, ideas, experience, feeling and your study) - freshlyinnovative, effective ideas, which lead to better working quality. Specifically, before each day ready to start and being

at end, you firstly need to think about it, do it then - regarding strictly your principles and rules - , and finally summingup and trying to obtain feedback yourself. The whole process includes: objectives, problems (if there happened someyesterday), to-do notes (writing a brief key-note and keeping it with you), diary (if time allows, for somethingnecessary to keep in mind).

According to his msn space, this is JetLis new haircut

Definitely, I can! I had a lot of bad experiences and stories in the past 22 years. There is an old proverb, going like:Life is full of ups and downs. When youre being in DOWN, what you need to do (and must do yourself, so thatyou can): throw the past behind you to rebuild yourself. Everyone is learning something new each day. Before

bedding time, he/she will speak to him-/herself about what has been right and wrong today, then in my case I woulddo something to modify me/myself, but not every guy/girl can always be really him/herself. Simply, they just dont

believe themselves, or they follow(copy) others opinion to correct mistakes, while possibly misunderstood, where they

are standing and prepare(d) to go; it results in distorting personality and direction of your inside world.On the other hand, if you just believe in yourself and objectively open your eyes to see what you want, then its easierto make a way to keep doing your striving things; your mind will get stronger, and your view will begin to be broader;the directions to go are more clear and easier to sense to you, because of each days real homework and the exercisesyou did, and then you will find out why you are (becoming) better and better, instead of sticking into a life full ofunrealistic thinking, worries, and regretting, behind and before today.

Above mentioned is the way I deal with myself when I am down. Can I implement it well enough? About 90% of thepeople I think - just cant do it precisely and perfectly, compared to what they planned to do. Why? Well, ourbehavior mostly consists of habit, and thus our thinking is effected by our habits: a personal concept, attitude, value orbelief, built up via long time of growing-up experiences in physics and psychology. If we dont have a good habit, itleads us to be weak. And habit is a considerable element, influencing our manner in/for the future. In other words: inyour maturity (age 2026) its a starting point and it will really make a huge impact on your adult daily life your

communicating, career and your marriage. Thus, to start and modify your bad habits in your study, daily life, whatever,is the most realistic and basic thing you need to do and can do. Afterwards, you can be smarter than before by making adifference between inside and outside you, besides always being positive, self-confident and self-respectful. Thiscan help you get out of the struggle among the inside-you and the outside-you - to be the one, the actual and real YOU.Thats your final objective in your life!


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7. What is a problem? A Buddha or demon, everything in one-thought by Eew

photo collage by Peter

Once upon a time there was an old woman; people gave her the nickname of crying witch. She always used to sit infront of the temple selling incense and flowers to offer and she always cried when it rained and also cried when it didnot rain. A monk, who always watched her cry everyday went up to her one day and asked, old lady, why do you cry?She answered, I have two daughters, the eldest sells sandals and the youngest sells umbrellas. When it is niceweather, I think of my youngest daughter, because she cannot sell her umbrellas, she continued, sniffing again. Butwhen it rains, I think of my eldest daughter, because nobody visits her store to buy her sandals! She cried hystericallyagain. The monk laughed out of compassion and replied, you have to think that business goes well for your eldestdaughter, when it is nice weather. And when it rains the umbrellas of your youngest daughter will sell well. He smiledand she wiped her tears. From that moment on the crying witch did not cry anymore. She smiled all the time, whetherthe weather was good or not.

Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you will go through it? Problems can be hard, because it is almostalways about uncertainty, and we people dislike uncertainty. Problems are a test of life, allowing you to realizesomething about yourself and teaching you a lesson of life experience. It will make you more confident and it trainsyourself by finding solutions in order to be(come) a stronger person. Problems are opportunities, because problems canalways be looked upon two ways, like in the story above happened to the crying witch. Then we will realize that a

problem is not really a problem.

Eew at the Amsterdam Thai Festival, September 2006


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When you have a problem, solutions could come up in different ways, such as listening to your favorite music (relaxingand isolating you from the people and the problem), being angry (expressing yourself) doing fun things (distractingyourself), talk to the people you love and trust (reflect upon the problem) or just being sad and cry (bringing huge

problems back to human proportions, so you can manage it). For me I think one of the best ways to deal with problemsis by expressing my thoughts through writing. And, when writing, I remembered a message years ago, from my dearteacher Peter van Oosten. He told me, that when you have a problem, it is not really a problem, but it is all about

yourself and it is in your head. When you have a problem, you are creating a big balloon in your head. At the momentthat the balloon gets heavier and heavier, you might ask yourself: how can I get rid of this stupid balloon (problem)which is disturbingly bouncing in my head. Peter told me to get a needle and decide whether and when to stick it intothe problem balloon, all because it is my own balloon and I have my own needle in my hand at anytime!

Finding balance in life is what we all should strive for, but it probably takes time and maybe it is in the human natureto make the same mistakes time after time. Some problems cannot even be solvedso why bother trying? And if youcan solve it, where is your needle then? So well just have to keep going, while time heals all wounds.Just dont fool yourself by looking for answers outside of yourself. The answers are all within!

8. Letting Go in a rather different way by Peter van Oosten

Eewtje proves it again: Erasmus was so right in his statement, that we dont learn from school, but from life! Mere

coincidence that I told Eew (and other students) the balloon-story in class; I might as well have done it at thatwonderful place at our IJssel riverside (see Jennys story), or at the so-called Liars Bench, a little closer to DDUAnyway, Im glad that the story impressed.

Without trying to break her story down or create some disillusion about bad memory, I would like to add just a fewother details, which I also tried to put into the photo-composition before Eews article:

there was a period, when I had huge problems, and I really did not know how to cope with those, except for drinkingthem away At a certain moment I had some kind of a vision, that I was walking on a long and lonesome road, whensuddenly I was surrounded by all kinds of black, ugly and big monsters;terrifying! When at last I had the courage to ask: How can I get rid of you?one of those creatures answered: Its so simple! Just because you have createdus yourself You will only need a needle to destroy us! In my vision I foundthat needle in a nearby haystack, I used it against those monsters, and, yes!,they appeared to be balloons, impressive, but quite airy

In fact JetLis article shows quite some similarities with this problem-solvingexperience. Thats why - in the photo-collage I used some references to thewell-known Delphi-oracle. Before you enter the sacred mystery-place, toreceive an answer for your troubling matters, above the entrance it says: KnowThyself. It really helps to look inside, every so often, and in fact its verynecessary!Still it can be very hard to do that in a honest way, without the bias of self-

pity, shame, pride, or whatever behavioral aspects of mankind. For me that

forms the explanation why in my vision I had to find that needle in ahaystack; so difficult to find!Letting your problems go Its almost unbelievable how much we, people, can feel attached to our problems! Wefeel like we are the owners! Well, we learned, that we are the creators, and, yes!, that normally causes some kind ofattachment, a relationship. But its quite weird, when on the one hand we are complaining about and suffering fromour problems, and - at the other hand we dont seem to wanna say Goodbye to those problems; dont want to let themgo and vanish We dont seem to be able to break that relationship, without some help from outside: partner, friend,

psychiatrist, by accident or due to circumstances. Without daring to make the choices and the ultimate decisionsourselves Quite some period of my life I have been living that way; going from one benchmark to another, withoutfactually choosing direction or heading for those points of measure. The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind(Bob Dylan, also interpreted by my friend Rajendra Regmi, the Amsterdam Maya-poet from Nepal). Its nice, tohave the wind in our back; it might save us some energy But: what about when the wind is blowing from the wrongdirection? Who says its wrong? And: how much wrong would it be? Wouldnt we be missing out on chances,

opportunities and challenges, when we would fight our way into the opposite direction? When do you know? Howcould you tell? Why would you care? Who am I, that I could give the one & only solution for this eternal problem ofmankind?
http://www.aroundparnassos.com/history/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyselfhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyselfhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyselfhttp://www.asklyrics.com/display/Bob_Dylan/Blowing_In_The_Wind_Lyrics/7754.htmhttp://www.asklyrics.com/display/Bob_Dylan/Blowing_In_The_Wind_Lyrics/7754.htmhttp://www.cannabis-pictures.com/amsterdam-marijuana-cafes.htmhttp://www.cannabis-pictures.com/amsterdam-marijuana-cafes.htmhttp://www.asklyrics.com/display/Bob_Dylan/Blowing_In_The_Wind_Lyrics/7754.htmhttp://www.asklyrics.com/display/Bob_Dylan/Blowing_In_The_Wind_Lyrics/7754.htmhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyselfhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_thyselfhttp://www.aroundparnassos.com/history/


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No, I just think, or rather: feel, that always going for the easy way (of life and living) will not give you and me theultimate satisfaction and will not bring us onto Maslows upper pyramids phase of self-actualization. I think, thatthis is also part of the story behind Yuris article. Yuri as a very bright young man graduated from DDU at animpossible age, with crazy marks, together with his competitor, wonder girl Zoey, or rather Dan. They liked eachother, they battled one another for the best results, they both went to different places to steal the crown, and now wecan read what they have accomplished, and how glad they are, for having chosen those particular directions. Well, itobviously shows in the picture of both of them together! You two may be proud, but I am also very proud of you! Youreally have wisely invested with your talents and into your talents

This brings me to another part of my reasoning, and, Dan, Im very sorry that I couldnt tell it more personally to you!My father He was part of my earlier stories, he inspired me to many things in my life, but he died, about a monthago. Aged 89 years, a long life with still a rather sudden ending. As I have been explaining before, he lost main part of

his sight; his hearing functions were rapidly diminishing, andsome form of cancer was wearing him out from inside,fortunately without much physical pain. As I sometimes mockingly say: there was a time, when he looked like aBuddha, but poor him! when he died, he weighed lessthan 40 kilos Most pain seemed to be caused in his mind,

because he wasnt able anymore to do any of those manythings, which he liked so much to do and which he was somuch talented in, like painting, or cooking, or Well, manymore of those!

He had so much trouble, having to let all that go, in fact, Ibelieve that - almost to the last moments of his life hereally fought to stay in this world and be part of it. At thesame time he could say: Im so tired! or: Im so tired ofit!. Very dualistic, it might seem, but death is irreversible;if you give in or choose for it, seldom theres a way back!Somehow gravity ties us to Mother Earth; our relationshipsmake us dependent and we dont wanna hurt our friends and

beloved ones by not-being-there-anymore.And, of course, another factor is: Fear

We know what we have here, on earth, in life. But were not

so certain about whats after that, even if were religious andbelieving in some kind of heaven, afterwards. Fear, ourfriend & enemy from very early childhood, seems to even beone of our last companions. And strange enough it even
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appears to be the same kind of fear: being afraid, because of the uncertainty of the next moment! No matter how wellwe learned to manage the different appearances of fear in our life, nearing the end of our life seems to make usilliterate and helpless again; it comes too close, were not ready, yet!

I am sad, that my father passed away; Im also sad for his girlfriend and for my children, his grandchildren.Its nice, and somehow important, for a child to have grandparents, to at least have memories of them and of having

done some nice things together. For my children those memories should go back 2 years or more, for the mere reason,that my father wasnt really able the last few years to do those pleasant things with them. In his struggle for life (andquality in life) he had become a bit self-centered, not such pleasant company anymore for kids (and for many grown-ups).Fear, anger, losing patience, losing grip, but still fighting; it all has impact on someones moods, the atmospherearound him or her.

In my fathers situation that sphere became more and more heavy, not only for us, but he also was painfully aware ofit himself, and: it made him angry! He didnt want it to take place like that, but he just couldnt prevent it.These developments also bring me to say, that I next to being sad feel kind of relieved now My father passedaway, still in good mental shape, without very much pain and endless suffering.And we, staying behind, have the better memories to cherish.I held the sermon, during the funeral service in church, and I could also choose the lectures to be read. I chose my

favorite Matthew, about the talents. I mirrored my father in this story and I ended with:I grant him the place, which he from my point of view deserves, and I would like to wish him the place, which hewould like to get/have (gotten) himself.

My father (still) is a great example for me!

9. How (not) to survive friendship by Loek Hopstaken

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher. Oprah Winfrey

Twenty something

In the beginning, I though this would be a long and serious article. Time pressure forced me to rethink. The result: ashort article. Because every time I think about friendship, it comes down to three simple things: affection, sharing and

exchange. And if those three are in place, respect, trust and understanding follow suit. In my life I have met manypeople. Meeting to me means, having a real communication going for more than just once. How many? Thousands.Thats what happens in my profession. And friendships? I mean the real ones, the lasting ones? 20 something is

probably close to the truth. Sure, we call friends those who we share great memories with. When we meet again, wetalk about the good old days. Or we share a hobby. We may go separate ways, but once in a while we meet andcontinue having a good time. A strong mutual liking, a fine and pleasant balance between giving and taking.

Misinterpretation Misunderstanding Misjudgment

In my time, Ive seen friendships start, flourish, falter, diminish, or end abruptly. Sometimes a form of carelessnessentered the relationship, or worse: a form of betrayal, little and big lies. No one likes to admit his faults, let alone admitlying or cheating. So we have all become quite good at creating smokescreens, so we can live on for a while without

being detected. The price: all the while life gets more complicated. We misinterpret our friends behavior, which leadsto misunderstanding, and when you add those together and we disagree about the whole thing, we feel powerless. Allwe can do now is speak out a misjudgment. When people are having a fight, this is what you hear: a constant

barrage of misjudgments and invalidations. In mediation, we try to trace these misjudgments back tomisunderstandings and before that, we inevitably find misinterpretations. And oh yes: before misinterpretations thereoften is a decision: I dont want to understand, or Ill teach her/him a lesson. Or worse. So misunderstandings arenot always that innocent.

Business relationships, friendships: is there a difference?

No, not really. The mechanisms are exactly the same. It even gets worse. When the merger between a major bank and amajor insurance company was at hand, and the Presidents of the Board were interviewed, they talked about acourtship, that may end up in an engagement and eventual marriage. I mean those guys were tough guys, notromantic poets. So if business deals are so similar to love affairs, who am I to say that there is a difference between a

business relationship, and a friendship? Ok, agreed, there are a few differences. But are those really important?

Making friends, maintaining friendships

All you need is communication. 10 months ago I build up a friendship, step by step. For some reason my friendsuddenly quit communicating. No response to instant messages or email. It had me worried. After all, it was a
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friendship in-the-making, and there had been some exchanges only true friends can have. Although it is everyonesright to terminate any relationship at any time, some explanation would have been nice. Instead, no communication apart from an occasional exchange of politenesses. So how do you maintain a friendship? Yes, it takes TWO. Twocommunicate, my favorite sport: a constant giving of genuine attention and affection. It may last a lifetime, safeguardsyou against loneliness, and may in some cases end up in real and warm love.

Terminating friendships: the two most destructive forcesApart from no communication (or: incommunicado), there are two even more effective ways to end a friendship.Both I witnessed these past five months.(1) Expressing a negative moral judgment about friends decision to start or end a love relationship. A love relationshipis totally the lovers business, no one elses. Its nobodys business to agree or not agree, let alone to speak it out.

Never interfere in matters of the heart. Leave lovers alone, please, always, including when they split up. It may be verysad, yet its their realtionship. Dont mess with it.(2) Starting or believing a negative rumor or gossip, even if this is just for fun. This is a stupid kids game, yet I see it

being played by grown ups, with disastrous results.

No one can live without it

You know it, I know it: we cant live without it. However, friendship is like a garden. It takes Tender Loving Care tomake it flourish in all seasons, and survive all hardships. And if you do this, it is not without rewards. I dont need to

tell you which ones.

You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a

life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will neverlose. Jo Coudert

10. Wise quotes & crackers

Parking facility near a Dutch elementary school

The ultimate goal of a more effective and efficient life is to provide you with enough time to enjoy some of it.Michael LeBoeuf

Its never too late to become what you might have been!Anonymous

Life is a magic vase filled to the brim, so made that you cannot dip from it nor draw from it; but it overflows into thehand that drops treasures into it. Drop in malice and it overflows hate; drop in charity and it overflows love.John Ruskin


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Did you know this scenery exists only a few dozen kilometers from Deventer? The Dutch Desert, April 8, 2007

Technical analysis is an art form and the eye grows keener with practice. Study both successes and failures with aneye to the future.

Anonymous (brought to us by Nguyen Nhat Anh Oliver)

A handful of Turkish delights

Zafer Oter send us a wonderful collection of Turkish proverbs and wisdoms. This is just a handful of them. Whereanimals are involved, proverbs have a long history:

Do not search for a calf under an ox.

The dog that barks much does not bite.

The cock that crows at the wrong time is killed.

An ass does not appreciate fruit compote.

The fly is small, but it is big enough to make one sick.

The raven sees its chickens as falcons.

The sheep separated from the flock is eaten by the wolf.

It is not disgraceful to ask, it is disgraceful no to ask.

Dont tell your secret to your friend, he will tell it to his friend.

Never step over one duty to perform another.English Proverb

When you know that youre capable of dealing with whatever comes, you have the only security the world has tooffer.Harry Browne

Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, onlyasking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.Benjamin Franklin


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Left: total disorder: moving my office. Right: a shop window near Apeldoorn. Their business?? Selling window

dummies.

Hunting through messy piles has its value. You discover things that, if you had filed or containerized them or purgedthem, you never would have seen them again. It becomes a natural reminder system.David Freedman (co-author of A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder)

11. Music is my mistress by Loek Hopstaken

My car is my concert hall. Im fortunate enough to have thousands of hours un-downloaded samples. I make small


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12. What is Wisdom??? online: http://hopper1951.spaces.live.com by Loek Hopstaken

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.Kahlil Gibran

Blogging

Although most of my blogs are not directly related to DDU or alumni/alumnae, you may want to catch a glance ofwhats going on in Holland. I regularly add photo albums, and there are over 90 now. On my msn page there are linksto many friends. I also use Yahoo! 360, its pages look more esthetic, but uploading pictures takes longer than doingthis to my msn page. So thats where lazy me puts them.

Chatting

Due to a busy work schedule, chatting has become much less intensive than before. There were also moments whenfour or five friends would start a chat and things got a bit confusing. Still, I like this way of communication. It has

proven its value, not just in regular chats, but also in coaching at a distance. The only setbacks are time differences,and the modest quality of webcams. Skype is gaining quality, as more and more people use it. Even webcams seem tofunction better. Were only at the beginning of a development, that will bring us many more communication facilities.

Sometimes chatting is not enough

CommunicatingWhat do you mean, where do I find the time to communicate??? Let me tell you, communication is your and mylifeline. Without it, we disconnect from life, and die. This age is rich in providing the means, now all we need is tomake the time. And for some, Id say: they better first learn how to communicate.

In my profession 95% of the time and energy is spent on repairing communication lines. Problems as aResult form misinterpretations, misconceptions, misunderstandings, misjudgments, and quite often, one ormore of these stem from some evil intention: trying to lift someones leg, willfully damaging a reputation,

plain aggression, hate, revenge, jealousy, ordinary hunger for power or simply (!), a psychiatric disordercalled psychosis. I cant handle the last category. Thats for psychiatrists to take care of. Frankly, I dontcare for anyone whose motives are evil. All I can do is trying to find the cause of all the confusion, and if

nothing changes for the better, have him/her leave. So peace is restored, and communication lines can berepaired.

I seldom use real life stories in my blogs, or while chatting. Civilization forbids me to spread the personal misqualitiesof people, as respect for other peoples privacy. So I had to develop a talent for changing names and places, to avoidany shame or embarassment, while leaving the core story in tact, and the possible lesson comes out. And if you havenoticed that I like spreading optimism, hope, good qualities, loving feelings yes, youre right. Thats what What isWisdom??? is all about. On or offline.
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This was the time before we had the capes. Who do you recognize ???

13. This Issues Portfolios

In a picturesque edition youll find many pictures: (1) Graduation Assignment Presentations; (2) Snapshots; (3) JanesGraduation & Homecoming; (4) Random Shots. If you have pictures you want to share, and have them published inWhat is Wisdom??? send them in the original format to [email protected].
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]


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(1) PORTFOLIO: GRADUATION ASSIGNMENT PRESENTATIONS (April 3)

Yao (Jerry), Lin Minxia (Allen), Wang Jing (Vivian), Zhang Jingjing (Sally) Mr. Deelstra

Erik van Kuijk, member of the graduation committee remember him?

Do you recognize this smart business man? His name is Nguyen Tuan Anh (Tom)


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Zhang Jingjing (Sally) & Rana Bahadur Lama listening to the results . PASS!

(2) PORTFOLIO: SNAPSHOTS

The Amsterdamse Bos just before spring. My associate Eric Snissaert composed this unusual panorama shot using 6different pictures and special software (www.ptgui.com).

March 7: Tirtha Nath Kandel preparing his Graduation Assignment presentation. TNs in UK now.
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December 28, 2006: Kelly Chu in the Tilburg Textiel Museum

Apple & her remarkable niece Rebecca; Mr. Deelstra and BA Graduate Sashanka Poudyal, who graduated late

February. He is now back in Kathmandu, Nepal


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(3) PORTFOLIO: JANES GRADUATION AND HOMECOMING

January 24: diploma time. February 7: sending surplus luggage home ( 56,-; meanwhile, it has arrived in good order)

February 7: Last visit to Hunzestraat, Deventer. February 14: Amsterdam Airport byebye dear friends Emily &

Sashanka

byebye Peter . February 16: back home in Ho Chi Minh City, Jane with her parents and brothers

The storys not over yet


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My Vietnamese visa; Huong & Thao (Jane & Amy), DDU alumnae & friends reunited, early March in Ho Chi Minh

City. Very soon Ill be meeting them, and hopefully, many others.

(4) PORTFOLIO: RANDOM SHOTS

Ngoc Tuan Linh Chu (Joey) with his sister, during the Tet Festival

March 26: team presentation time Cmon guys, stop staring, let Thuy Duong (Tracy) do her job Hou Jia (Janet)displaying confidence, while Zhang Ruily (Lily), Wang Jing (Vivian) and Huilin Sun each have their own thoughts


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March: Zell visits DDU; Shaikh Kamal in London

March 29: Xiaoman E (Mandy) showing her Masters degree; March: Minh Tu Le (Jimmy)

Springtime in Peters front yard


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March 22: Serap Zorluer loves eggs; March 29: Liang Yin Jie (Tim) & E Xiaoman (Mandy) after our farewell dinner

March 28: Peter and Hilde

January 10: with Thuy Duong (Tracy) & Lien Huong (Jane) in Room 102


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Paul Scholey with his daughter Caitlin (born February 12); Wendy Jansen & her family in Beijing

Its a boy!!! His name is Gavin, he saw the light of day on March 29 and he lives with his mom & dad in Manchester,UK. Mom is Ling Jing (Kate), dad Mark White (see Kates wedding pic in What is Wisdom??? Nr. 1, October 2005)


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Springtime: Liu Fan (Sarah) & Zhou Lincheng (Apple): two former DDU classmates from Guangxi, who live and work

in Shanghai

Deventer, March: the fields across the IJssel after heavy rains (left). A few weeks later, the start of spring. Notice the

white wrought-iron couch.

April 8: the Fate of an Easter Egg


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14. BIRTHDAYS

Greetings from Amsterdam

Birthdays until July 1

Serkan Kizilkanat Kilzim 2.4

Larry OConnor 5.4Chu Ngoc Tuan Linh (Joey) 5.4Jiang Youlin (Bill) 9.4Vo Ngoc Lien Huong (Jane) 12.4Saurav Sainju 17.4Shi Lei (Shelly) 24.4Tung Nhu Dang (Fire) 25.4Xiao Yezheng (Johnson) 28.4Peter van Oosten 29.4Muhammad Zaheer 6.5Do Thi Hong Linh (Cherry) 7.5Chu Luyin (Kelly) 7.5Lu Wang (Lulu) 10.5

Roshan Basnet 10.5Muhammad Jahangir 15.5Manisha Shrestra 16.5Wang Jun (Bauer) 16.5Phan Hoai Nam (Chris) 18.5Bijaya Raj Regmi 18.5Yifan Sun (Jack) 21.5Wang Xu Hui (Ben) 23.5Liang Yin Jie (Tim) 23.5

Ntoko Edenge Munge (Rachael) 4.6Nguyen Dinh Hung (Paul) 4.6Yin Chenglin (Colin) 17.6Gaurav Manish (Manish) 20.6


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15. THIS ISSUES SONG LYRIC

This Years Love (artist: David Grey)

This years love had better last

Heaven knows its high timeIve been waiting on my own, too longWhen you hold me like you doIt feels so right, oh now

Start to forget how my heart gets tornWhen that hurt gets thrownFeelin like I cant go on.Turnin circles time againCut like a knife, oh now

If you love me got to know for sureCuz it takes something more this timeThen sweet, sweet lies, oh now

Before I open up my arms and fall, losing all controlEvery dream inside my soulWhen you kiss me on that midnight streetSweep me off my feetSingin aint this life so sweet?

This years love had better last

This years love had better lastCuz whose to worry if our hearts get tornWhen that hurt gets thrownDont you notice life goes on

Wont you kiss me on that midnight streetSweep me off my feetSingin aint this life so sweetThis years love had better lastThis years love had better last

Final shot of Charlie Chaplins Modern Times (1935).To many, a lump-in-my-throat moment.


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Message from the Editors

Issue no. 8 will be out early summer, around July 1.

what is wisdom 7b

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