What to dowhen someone dies at home

Douglas Macmillan HospiceBarlaston Road

BlurtonStoke-on-Trent

ST3 3NZ

tel: 01782 344 300fax: 01782 344 331DMHospice.org.uk

Registered Charity Number: 1071613 Company Number: 3615904

DMHospice.org.ukBarlaston Rd, Blurton, Staffordshire, ST3 3NZ

(01782) call: 344 300 fax: 344 301

Table of Contents

1 Introduction

2 Whattodofirst

3 Registeringadeath

4 Whocanregisteradeath?

5 Questionsthattheregistrarwillask Formsandcertificates

6 Thedeathcertificate Arrangingthefuneral

7 Helpwiththecostofthefuneral Grieving

8 Thingswesuggestyoushouldandshouldnotdo

9 Thingswesuggestyoushouldandshouldnotdo Childrenandyoungpeople

10 Bereavementsupport

11 BookletsavailablefromtheDouglasMacmillanHospice

12 Howtofindus

01

Introduction

Whenadeathoccursathome,itcanbeaveryintimateanddistressingexperience.AlthoughourHospiceatHomeTeamandCommunityNurseshavemadeeveryefforttoprepareyouandyourimmediatefamily,thelossofalovedonecanbeverydifficulttoaccept.

IfaNursingAssistantfromourHospiceatHometeamispresentwhenyourlovedonedies,theywillguideyouthroughtheprocess,offeringyousupportandhelp.

Overthenextfewweeks,ifyouareuncertainaboutwhattodo,oneoftheSocialWorkersattheDouglasMacmillanHospicewillbehappytoadviseyou.

Themostimportantthingisthatyoudonotfeelrushedorunderanypressure.

Thepurposeofthisbookletistosetoutclearlythosethingsthatneedtobedoneatthistime.

02

What to do first

Whensomeonediesathome,thereareanumberofthingsthatyouneedtodo.Wehavelistedthesebelow,inorderofimportance.

01) Contact your GP

ContacttheGPofthepersonwhohasdied.Outsideofnormalsurgeryhourscontact111.TheGPorappropriatelyqualifiedhealthcareprofessionalwillcometoyourhomeandconfirmthatyourlovedonehasdied.TheDoctorwilltellyouwhenyoushouldgototheSurgeryandcollectthemedicalcertificate,whichwillstatethecauseofdeath.Occasionally,wheretheDoctorisuncertainaboutthecauseofdeath,he/shewillreferthecasetotheCoroner.Ifthishappens,theDoctorwilltellyouwhattodo.

02) Contact your District Nurse and the Douglas Macmillan Hospice

YoushouldtelephonetheDistrictNurseandtheDouglasMacmillanHospice.Theywillcancelanyscheduledvisitsfromtheirnursesandcarers.Inaddition,theywillcanceltheMarieCurieService,ifapplicable.Youshouldcancelanyscheduledvisitsfromanyagenciesthathavebeenassistingwithpersonalcareandcleaningduties.

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03) Contact the Funeral Director

OnceyourDoctorhasconfirmedthatyourlovedonehasdied,youcancontacttheFuneralDirector.

Donotfeelrushed.CalltheFuneralDirectorwhenyouareready.

TheFuneralDirectorwillgiveyouanestimatedtimeofarrival,whichwillusuallybelessthanonehour.

Registering a Death

YouhavetoregisterthedeathatyourlocalRegistrar’sOffice;thishastobedonewithinfivedays.

Tofindoutwhereyouneedtoregisterthedeathofyourlovedone,youneedtotelephone03001118001.Youwillbetoldwheretogoandbegivenanallocatedappointmenttimetoregisterthedeath.

IfthecasehasbeenreferredtotheCoroner,youwillnotbeabletoregisterthedeathuntiltheCoronerhasgiventheirpermissionforyoutodoso.Yourdoctorwillexplainwhattodoifthishashappened.

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Who can register a death?

Thispersonhastobeeither:

• Someonewhowaspresentatthedeath

• Arelativeofthepersonwhohasdied

• Thepersonarrangingthefuneral

Whatshouldyoutake?

• Youshouldtakewithyouthefollowing:

• Themedicalcardofthepersonwhohasdied(ifpossible)

• Themedicalcertificatestatingthecauseofdeath-thedoctorwillhavegiventhistoyou

• Statepensionandbenefitinformation

• NationalInsuranceNumber

Moreinformationcanbefoundat: https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

05

Questions that the Registrar will ask you

TheRegistrarwillaskyouanumberofquestionsaboutthepersonwhohasdied.Thesequestionsareasfollows:

• Thedateandplaceofdeath

• Theperson’susualaddress

• Theperson’sname(andmaidenname,ifapplicable)

• Theirdateandplaceofbirth(town,cityandcountry)

• Theiroccupation

• WhetherthepersonwasreceivingapensionfromtheSocialSecurityDepartment

• Ifhe/shewasmarried,thedateofbirthofthesurvivingpartner

Forms and certificates that the Registrar will give to you

TheRegistrarwillgivetoyou:

• Acertificateforburialorcremation(greenform).ThisshouldbegiventoyourFuneralDirector

• Acertificateforregistrationofthedeath(BD8).Thisformshouldbecompletedifthepersonwhohasdiedwasreceivinganyformofbenefitsorapension.Ifthisisthecase,completetheformandsendittoyourlocalSocialSecurityOfficealongwithanypensionorbenefitbooks

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• Leafletsaboutbenefitsthatcouldapplytoyou

• AbookletwrittenbytheWorksandPensionsDepartmentcalled“Whattodoafteradeath”

The Death Certificate

TheDeathCertificateisacopyoftheentrymadeintheDeathRegister.Asmallfeeischargedforeachcopymade.YouwillneedanofficialcopyoftheDeathCertificateforeachofthefollowing:

• TheExecutoroftheWill

• Pensionclaims

• Insuranceclaims

• Bankaccounts

YoumaywishtoasktheRegistrarforseveralcopies.

Arranging the Funeral

Althoughyoumaybefeelingdistressed,itisimportanttorememberthattheFuneralisanimportantoccasionforyouandforeveryoneelsewhohasbeenclosetothepersonwhohasdied.

Takeyourtime.Consideranyinstructionsorwishesthatthepersonleft,andyourownfeelingsandwishes.Itisimportantthatchildrenwhowereclosetothepersonwhohasdiedhavethechoiceofbeinginvolved.

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Help with the cost of the funeral

Funeralcostscanbeveryexpensive.IfyouareunabletocoverthecostoftheFuneral,youmaybeeligibleforhelp.AdvicemaybeavailablefromyourFuneralDirectororyourlocalCitizensAdviceBureau.

Ifyouareuncertainaboutwhetherornottomakeaclaim,oneoftheSocialWorkersattheDouglasMacmillanHospicewillbehappytoadviseyou.

Grieving

Griefisaverypainfulexperiencebutonewhichrarelylastsforever.Talkingaboutfeelingsmaybedifficultbutitreallydoeshelp.

How it feels

Evenwhenadeathisexpected,itcanproducefeelingsofdeepshockandevenafeelingofphysicalpain.

Griefisnormalandpainfulandoftenlastslongerthanpeopleexpect.Whileeachperson’sgrievingisindividual,therearecertainelementsthatarerecognisableandcommontoall.Youmayexperiencesomeorallofthesethings:

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• Inabilitytoconcentrate• Panic and fear• Restlessness• Guilt• Sleepingdifficulties

• Anger• Lossofappetite• Regret• Exhaustion• Feelinghopeless

Theseareallcommonsymptomsoflosswhichmaypersistforseveralmonthsandoccasionally,longer.

Youmayexperiencedifficultyintalkingtofamilyandfriendswhodonotseemtounderstand.Misunderstandingsmayarisebecausenoteveryoneinafamilywillgrieveinthesamewayoratthesamepace.

What you should and should not do

Wehavesummarisedbelowalistofthingsthatwethinkareimportantandwhichmayhelpyouandyourfamily.

Things we suggest you should do

• Allowyourselftotalkovertheeventsoftheillnessanddeathwithsomeoneyoutrust

• Shareyourfeelingswithsomeoneyoutrust

• Takecareofyourself

• ContacttheHospiceorotherSupportGroupsifyoufeelthattalkingtosomeoneoutsideofthefamilywillhelp

• Continuetotalkaboutthepersonwhohasdied

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• Don’thideyourfeelings;theyarepartofadjustingtoloss• Don’tletyourselfbehurriedintohavingtheFuneralsooner

thanyouwantto,unlessyourculturerequiresthis• Don’tmakemajorchangesinyourlifeunlesstheyarereally

necessary• Don’tforceyourselfto“getover”yourgriefquickly• Don’tturntoomuchtomedication,smokingoralcoholto

stopyoufeelingthepainofgrief

Children and young people

Asadults,itisanormalreactiontotrytoprotectchildrenorkeepthemawayfromsadsituations.However,childrenalsoneedtogrieveandtotalkabouthowtheyarefeeling,especiallyifthepersonwhohasdiedisacloserelative.

Manyyoungchildrenhaveagreaterunderstandingthanmostadultswouldimagine.Wesuggestthatyoucontinuetotalkaboutthepersonwhohasdiedandansweranyquestionwithhonesty.Youmayneedtoreassurethemabouttheirownsecurityandletthemknowthattheyarenotresponsibleforwhathashappened.

Youshouldgivechildrenthechancetosaygoodbye;reassurethemthattheirgriefwillnotlastforever.

Ifyouareunsureabouthowtohandlethesituation,youmaywishtocontactDoveCentre,alocalservicethatdealsspecificallywithchildren.Theircontactnumberis01782683155.

Things we suggest you should not do

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Bereavement support

Throughthelonganddifficultprocessofadjustingtolifewithoutalovedone,itcanbehelpfultotalktosomeonewhohasanunderstandingoftheprocessofgrief.

Sixweeksafteryourlovedonehasdied,theHospicewillwritetoyou,invitingyoutoattendagroupmeeting.Ifyoudecidetoacceptthisinvitationyouwillbeabletomeetwithotherpeoplewhoareexperiencingasimilarlosstoyours.Inadditionyouwillbeofferedtheopportunitytoaccessone-to-onesupport.ThesemeetingsareattendedbyourSocialWorkersandtrainedvolunteers.

SpeaktoyourPCNSifyou,oranyofyourfamily,wouldlikeavisitfromoneofourstafforanopportunitytotalktosomeonesoonerthanthis.

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Booklets available from the Douglas Macmillan Hospice

• SocialWork

• SpiritualCare

• BereavementSupport

Pleaseaskamemberofstaffforoneofourotherbookletsshouldyourequiremoredetailedinformationonanyotherservicethatweprovide.

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How to find us

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Barlaston Road

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What to dowhen someone dies at home

#morethanahospice

Douglas Macmillan HospiceBarlaston Road

BlurtonStoke-on-Trent

ST3 3NZ

tel: 01782 344 300fax: 01782 344 331DMHospice.org.uk

Registered Charity Number: 1071613 Company Number: 3615904

DMHospice.org.ukBarlaston Rd, Blurton, Staffordshire, ST3 3NZ

(01782) call: 344 300 fax: 344 301

Further Information

Ifyouwouldlikefurtherinformationonanyhealthcareservices,thefollowingmaybeofhelp.

DMH 24/7 Advice Line 01782 344300

For general enquiries relating to health services

• ContactyourGPorDistrictNurse-03001230989• OutofHoursUrgentCare(non-emergency)-111

If you are receiving hospital treatment

• Contactyourhospitaldoctororclinicalnursespecialist• RoyalStokeUniversityHospital-01782715444

For general enquiries regarding cancer services

• TelephoneMacmillanCancerSupporton08088080000• TheRoyalStokeUniversityHospitalMacmillanCancer

SupportandInformationCentreon01782676333• MarieCurieSupportLine-08000902309

You may also find the following websites useful:

www.carersuk.org www.cruse.org.uk www.mariecurie.org.uk www.macmillan.org.uk www.carersfirst.com