what works for raising successful people · 5/22/2020 · for more information. o one-on-one...
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Optimal Parenting
What Works for Raising Successful People
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WEBINAR PRESENTERSKnox Psychologists• Mr. David Schofield • Ms. Melinda Price• Dr Rebecca Lazarus • Dr Laura-Kate Dassos
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Optimal ParentingWhat type of parenting works best for the best outcomes for our children?
Research: best outcomes (socially, emotionally and academically) from parenting that combines
High expectations and demandsin the context of
a warm, respectful, open, supportive relationship
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Optimal Parenting• The foundation: Warmth & Support• Promoting Autonomy• Self-Motivation• Promoting Positive Behaviours• Rewards & Incentives• Discipline & Punishment• Appropriate Consequences• Managing Screen Time• Looking after self• Q & A
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QUESTION AND ANSWER
To submit a question, visitktcshort.link/optimalwebinarqanda
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Year 7 - Mr Justin ZhuYear 8 - Dr Laura-Kate DassosYear 9 - Ms Katelyn TaskerYear 10 & WPS - Mr Luke SpencerYear 11 - Mr David SchofieldYear 12 - Ms Melinda Price
To make an appointment, contact:[email protected]
Knox Psychologists
Kindergarten to Year 3- Mrs Frieda Stemp- Mrs Hayley Wilton
Year 4 to 6- Dr Rebecca Lazarus
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Foundations of Optimal Parenting
• Making sure that your child’s basic needs are met
• Spending time together
• Listening with full attention
Healthy Parent-Child Connection
DR LAURA-KATE DASSOS:
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Healthy Parent-Child ConnectionWarm, supportive relationship• Plenty of affection • Respond with empathy• Separate the behaviour from the
child• Behaviour = communication
MS MELINDA PRICE:
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Preventative StrategiesEncouraging Autonomy• Promote independence• Encourage problem
solving• Experience failure• Make mistakes• Experience difficult
feelings
DR REBECCA LAZARUS:
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Preventative Strategies (cont.)Encouraging Autonomy - How?1. Offer choices2. Avoid asking questions3. Avoid rushing in to answer4. Use sources outside
parenting unit
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“How can I help my child to get motivated?”
• Breaking work into small
‘chunks’
• Plan and encourage rewards
• Study space
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Question sent in: How to Promote
Independent/Self-motivated Learning?
Problem: Study can be unattractive:1. “Study is hard &/or uninteresting”2. “We fight about my effort and results too much”
How can we help?
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Making Study Attractive
1. Link study with desired career goals, or
2. Stop the conflict around study
3. Link study with incentives
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A MOTIVATING DEAL“I'm sorry that our conflict about your school work has come between us. It has been frustrating for both of us: I so want you to do well, and you so want me to stop pushing you.
I want to resign from being the ‘director’ of your academic efforts and give it over to you to manage from here on. I so want the best for you and academic effort matters so much to me. I am hoping you can help me?
Perhaps we can do a deal? Perhaps we can stop fighting and help each other? If you increase your efforts and results by 20% then perhaps I could do something for you - something that really matters to you? What do you think?”
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REWARDS AND INCENTIVES• Positive reinforcement tools
• Used for encouraging behaviour
• Must be developmentally appropriate and
motivating
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Discipline Strategies• Realistic expectations – of your
child and yourself • Promote desirable behaviour
– Descriptive praise– Strategic attention– Rewards and incentives
• Be consistent
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Alternatives to PunishmentPUNISHMENT vs DISCIPLINE:
Punishment:“the imposition of an undesirable or unpleasant outcome from a person of authority” Effectiveness = short term
Discipline:“teaching people to behave and follow rules and encourage appropriate behaviour” Effectiveness = long term
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A note on punishment
• Punishing, including smacking leads to negative outcomes for the child
• No evidence of any benefits from physical punishment
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Discipline StrategiesConsequences:
• Natural • Man-made
– Applied for a short period of time– Involve children – Planned vs reactive
Remember Consistency
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Screentime• Categorise – education, social, pleasure• Negotiate set limits • Short bursts, regular breaks • Switch off and disconnect:
– Reminders– Logical timings
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A Final Note…• Importance of:
– Self-care – Self-compassion
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QUESTION AND ANSWER
To submit a question, visitktcshort.link/optimalwebinarqanda
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Year 7 - Mr Justin ZhuYear 8 - Dr Laura-Kate DassosYear 9 - Ms Katelyn TaskerYear 10 & WPS - Mr Luke SpencerYear 11 - Mr David SchofieldYear 12 - Ms Melinda Price
To make an appointment, contact:[email protected]
Knox Psychologists
Kindergarten to Year 3- Mrs Frieda Stemp- Mrs Hayley Wilton
Year 4 to 6- Dr Rebecca Lazarus
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For more informationFurther information: o Parenting video series
- Helping our families survive and thrive- Managing conflict at home- Staying connected with friends- Supporting your son- Wellbeing resources- Understanding and managing guilt- Motivating your child- Normalizing reactions and COVID-19- Maintaining a balance
Prephttps://vimeo.com/showcase/6953272Password: WellbeingPrep
Seniorhttps://vimeo.com/showcase/6953270Password: WellbeingSenior
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For more informationo One-on-one counselling/consults:
- Knox Wellbeing Centre - [email protected] – 02 9119 0828- Knox Careers Psychologist - Linda Gomez - [email protected]
o External resources - Parent works - https://parentworks.org.au/#/- Tuning into Teens - https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/melton/want-to-know-more-
about-the-tuning-into-teens-program/- COVID19 – We’ve got this covered! Centre for Emotional Health, Macquarie University -
https://www.mq.edu.au/research/research-centres-groups-and-facilities/healthy-people/centres/centre-for-emotional-health-ceh/covid-19-weve-got-this-covered!/information-for-parents-and-carers
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THANK YOU