what would i do if i knew i could not fail? · what would i do if i knew i could not fail? 2 n the...
TRANSCRIPT
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What would I do if I knew I could not fail?
A thought experiment
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+What would I do if I knew I could not fail?
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n The format for this workshop will be a series of five exercises; for each…
n We’ll talk a bit, and share on the exercise
n We’ll do some writing
n We’ll share what we have written in breakout rooms
n For sharing with the group, please raise your hand using the Zoom menu, or press *9 if you are on a phone (this is not necessary in the breakout rooms)
n If you have a printer, you can print out the template on the web site; otherwise, a pen and a pad of writing paper is all you need
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+Take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle and then a line across the top…
✍
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+On the top left hand side, write…
WhatwouldIdoifIknewIcouldnotfail?✍
4
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+Now, let’s write some things down in that column, drawing a line across the page after each…
WhatwouldIdoifIknewIcouldnotfail?n Actions I would take—things I would
do, rather than things I would be
n No limits, other than the laws of the land and physics
✍
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+Breakout Session - Actions
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n Everyone will be divided into breakout rooms of 4-5 people each, for five minutes
n In Round Robin fashion, each person in the room should read one action from their list, then pass to the next person
n Go around and around the room, until everyone has read out all their actions
n Reminder, if you have written something you don’t want to share at this time, that’s perfectly fine
n And if you don’t feel ready to share at all, you can pass
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➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
On the top right hand side of the sheet, write…
✍ WhatwouldIdoifIknewIcouldnotfail?
WhatamIafraidofthatisholdingmebackfromdoingthis?
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➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
Now, let’s write down what is holding us back from each action…
WhatwouldIdoifIknewIcouldnotfail?WhatamIafraidofthatisholdingmebackfromdoingthis?✍
n Without shame and without blame
n Honest appraisal of the things inside us holding us back
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+Breakout Session - Fears
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n Again, everyone will be divided into breakout rooms of 4-5 people each, for five minutes
n In Round Robin fashion, each person in the room should read the next fear from their list—what you would do, and what is holding you back from that—then pass to the next person
n Go around and around the room, until everyone has read out all their fears
n Reminder, if you have written something you don’t want to share at this time, that’s perfectly fine, and if you don’t feel ready to share at all, you can pass
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+Let’s think for a moment how these fears have hurt us
n They have affected our self-esteem
n They have damaged our relationships, both professional and personal
n They have damaged our sexual relationships
n They have affected our material well-being
n They have affected our emotional well-being
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➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
Take a new sheet of paper, line it up to the first, and draw a matching line across the top…
WhatwouldIdoifIknewyoucouldnotfail?WhatamIafraidofthatisholdingmebackfromdoingthis? ✍
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➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
Draw another line, more or less down the middle, maybe a little closer to the left…
WhatwouldIdoifIknewyoucouldnotfail?WhatamIafraidofthatisholdingmebackfromdoingthis?
✍
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+
Thisfearaffectsmy:
At the very top left hand side of the second sheet, write…
✍
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+
Thisfearaffectsmy:
Now draw four lines to divide the left-hand side into five columns…
✍
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+Next, label the columns…
Thisfearaffectsmy:Self-esteem
Professional/personalrelationships
Sexualrelationships
Materialwell-being
Emotionalwell-being
✍
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+
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
Thisfearaffectsmy:
Self-esteem
Professio
nal/p
ersonal
relatio
nships
Sexualre
latio
nships
Materialw
ell-b
eing
Emotionalw
ell-b
eing
Now, for each action from the first sheet, check each column where not doing it affects you…
✍ WhatwouldIdoifIknewyoucouldnotfail?WhatamIafraidofthatisholdingmebackfromdoingthis?
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+Breakout Session - Effects
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n Again, everyone will be divided into breakout rooms of 4-5 people each, for five minutes
n In Round Robin fashion, each person in the room should read out an action and what has been affected by your not taking the action, then pass to the next person
n Go around and around the room, until everyone has read out their whole list
n Reminder, if you have written something you don’t want to share at this time, that’s perfectly fine, and if you don’t feel ready to share at all, you can pass
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+Lets talk about some natural human drives & instincts
n Attraction to other people
n Hunger and thirst
n Taking care of our needs
n Efficiency
n Need for justice
n Social awareness
n Self-confidence
n Avoidance of danger
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+As Bill W. says, for us, these drives can go into excess and become character defects
n Attraction to other people
n Hunger and thirst
n Taking care of our needs
n Efficiency
n Need for justice
n Social awareness
n Self-confidence
n Avoidance of danger
n Lust
n Gluttony
n Greed
n Sloth
n Wrath (unwarranted anger)
n Envy
n Pride
n Terror (groundless fears)
19
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+But those are loaded words…
n Dishonesty/manipulation
n Selfishness/self-seeking
n Thoughtlessness/intolerance
n Laziness
n Unwarranted anger
n Jealousy
n Trying to be in control (playing God)
n Groundless fears
n That list—the so-called Seven Deadly Sins (plus one)—has often been used to shame and blame people, so let’s switch those words for something less charged:
20
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+So, at the top right side of the second sheet, write…
Thisfearaffectsmy: Thisfearcomesfrom:
Self-esteem
Professio
nal/p
ersonal
relatio
nships
Sexualre
latio
nships
Materialw
ell-b
eing
Emotionalw
ell-b
eing
✍
21
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+Now, draw seven lines to divide the right-hand side into eight columns…
✍ Thisfearaffectsmy: Thisfearcomesfrom:
Self-esteem
Professio
nal/p
ersonal
relatio
nships
Sexualre
latio
nships
Materialw
ell-b
eing
Emotionalw
ell-b
eing
22
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+
Thisfearaffectsmy:
Thisfearcomesfrom
:
Self-esteem
Professional/personalrelationships
Sexualrelationships
Materialwell-being
Emotionalwell-being
Dishonesty/manipulation
Selfishness/self-seeking
Thoughtlessness/intolerance
Laziness
Unwarrantedanger
Jealousy
Beingincontrol/playingGod
Groundlessfears
And label the new columns…
✍
23
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+
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿ ➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿➿
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X X
X X X X
X X X X
X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X X
X
X X X
WhatwouldIdoifIknewyoucouldnotfail?WhatamIafraidofthatisholdingmebackfromdoingthis?
Now, for each fear, check off each of the character defect(s) behind it…
24
Thisfearaffectsmy: Thisfearcomesfrom:
Self-esteem
Professio
nal/p
ersonal
relatio
nships
Sexualre
latio
nships
Materialw
ell-b
eing
Emotionalw
ell-b
eing
Dishon
esty/m
anipulation
Selfishne
ss/self-seeking
Thou
ghtle
ssne
ss/in
tolerance
Lazin
ess
Unw
arranted
anger
Jealou
sy
Beingincon
trol/playingGod
Grou
ndlessfe
ars
✍
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+Breakout Session – Character Defects
25
n Again, everyone will be divided into breakout rooms of 4-5 people each, for five minutes
n In Round Robin fashion, each person in the room should read out a fear from their list, and what character defects are behind that fear, then pass to the next person
n Go around and around the room, until everyone has read out their whole list
n Reminder, if you have written something you don’t want to share at this time, that’s perfectly fine, and if you don’t feel ready to share at all, you can pass
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+Now, what have we done so far?
n We have taken a searching and fearless moral inventory of our fears
n We have shared what we have written with God and another human being
n If you have worked the Steps before, you will recognize these as a Step 4 & 5 Fear Inventory
n So, let’s move on to Steps 6 & 7, and humbly ask God to remove these defects of character
n We can structure each of these rows into a prayer
26
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+
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X X
X X X X
X X X X
X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X X
X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X X
X X X X
X X X X
X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X
X X X
X X X
X X X
X X
Take a third sheet of paper, line it up to the first two, and draw a matching line across the top…
✍
27
Thisfearaffectsmy: Thisfearcomesfrom:
Self-esteem
Professio
nal/p
ersonal
relatio
nships
Sexualre
latio
nships
Materialw
ell-b
eing
Emotionalw
ell-b
eing
Dishon
esty/m
anipulation
Selfishne
ss/self-seeking
Thou
ghtle
ssne
ss/in
tolerance
Lazin
ess
Unw
arranted
anger
Jealou
sy
Beingincon
trol/playingGod
Grou
ndlessfe
ars
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+
SixthStepPrayer:
And label this new column…
✍
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+
SixthStepPrayer:
Now, let’s turn each action and each fear into a prayer…
✍
29
n “(God/Higher Power/Universe), help me walk through (my fear from column 2) and (take action from column 1)”
n Or, more simply,
n “(God/Higher Power/Universe), help me (take action from column 1)”
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+Breakout Session - Prayers
30
n Again, everyone will be divided into breakout rooms of 4-5 people each, for five minutes
n In Round Robin fashion, each person in the room should read out the next prayer on their list, then pass to the next person
n Go around and around the room, until everyone has read out their whole list
n Reminder, if you have written something you don’t want to share at this time, that’s perfectly fine, and if you don’t feel ready to share at all, you can pass
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+So, what have we done today?
n We have all now worked Steps 4, 5, 6 & 7, around a Fear Inventory
n In looking at the actions we want our Higher Power’s help with, we have also started on the Tool of Vision and Goals
n By turning those actions over to other people, we have also started working on the Tools of Action Partners and Action Groups
n For further support, we can share our lists with our sponsors, action partners, action groups and/or program buddies
31