3Confidence During Conflict

WHEN HAVE YOU SEEN A SMALL PROBLEM BECOME A BIG PROBLEM?

We must trust God when conflict disrupts your relationships.

ThePOINT

Bible Studies for Life 71

GENESIS 13:5-11,14-185 Now Lot, who was traveling with Abram, also had flocks, herds, and tents. 6 But the land was unable to support them as long as they stayed together, for they had so many possessions that they could not stay together, 7 and there was quarreling between the herdsmen of Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock. (At that time the Canaanites and the Perizzites were living in the land.) 8 So Abram said to Lot, “Please, let’s not have quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, since we are relatives. 9 Isn’t the whole land before you? Separate from me: if you go to the left, I will go to the right; if you go to the right, I will go to the left.” 10 Lot looked out and saw that the entire plain of the Jordan as far as Zoar was well watered everywhere like the Lord's garden and the land of Egypt. (This was before

the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) 11 So Lot chose the entire plain of the Jordan for himself. Then Lot journeyed eastward, and they separated from each other.

14 After Lot had separated from him, the Lord said to Abram, “Look from the place where you are. Look north and south, east and west, 15 for I will give you and your offspring forever all the land that you see. 16 I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust of the earth, then your offspring could be counted. 17 Get up and walk around the land, through its length and width, for I will give it to you.” 18 So Abram moved his tent and went to live near the oaks of Mamre at Hebron, where he built an altar to the Lord.

THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE

We all want a life that’s smooth and comfortable, yet it rarely works out that way.

We want to make good grades, but homework is a grind and memorizing material for tests can be agonizing.

We really do want to please our parents, but they just won’t let us do the things we want to do.

We want to get along with our friends, but they can be so selfish and say such hurtful things.

Though we want life to be peaceful, the truth is that we will face tension and conflict almost all the time. Sometimes, it will be with the world and others, but it could also be more internal.

What really matters, though, is how we manage the tensions in our lives. Though we can’t escape it, we can manage it well. Abram faced relational conflict, and the ways he handled it serve as a great example of how we can handle our own conflicts.

FACT:Chimpanzees, after a squabble, actually make sure to be physically close, engaging in grooming and other forms of contact. They know that to survive, they must resolve their conflicts quickly.1

1 What are some common causes of conflict or tension in our world?

2 When have you ignored a conflict and it made things worse?

GENESIS 13:5-8

LEVELS OF BIBLICAL LEARNING // FAMILYWhen families experience brokenness, such as conflict, abuse, or divorce, God desires to bring healing and unity and to use the broader family of God to minister to hurting families during difficult times.

72 Session 3 THE POINT // WE MUST TRUST GOD WHEN CONFLICT DISRUPTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

3 What about responding to conflict is difficult?

4 What do you appreciate about the way Abram resolved his differences with Lot?

5 How can you prioritize responding to others’ needs before your own?

6 What examples have you seen of God taking care of His people?

7 How can we approach conflict in a godly way?

8 Why do you think God’s timing is sometimes not in line with our schedules?

GENESIS 13:9-11 GENESIS 13:14-18

God’s timing isn’t always in line with our schedules. #BSFLConfidence

Bible Studies for Life 73

GOD

JESUS

HOLY SPIRIT

BIBLE

SALVATION

CREATION

CHURCH

PEOPLE

FAMILY

COMMUNITY & WORLD

LIVE IT OUT

CHRISTAt times, our pride and selfishness will cause us to experience tension, conflict, or distance in our relationship with Christ.

9 When have you experienced these things? What specifically caused it?

10 How will you demonstrate humility in order to grow closer in your relationship with Jesus this week?

LEVELS OF BIBLICAL LEARNING // FAMILYWhen families experience brokenness, such as conflict, abuse, or divorce, God desires to bring healing and unity and to use the broader family of God to minister to hurting families during difficult times.

Abram and Lot experienced conflict, and in order to resolve the issues, Abram was very gracious. It’s not uncommon for families to deal with the worst kinds of conflict, and everyone, including the children, experiences terrible consequences when families don’t love one another as God intends. Still, when we are willing to turn to God, He can bring healing to even the worst situations. Resolution is often a long and painful process, but because of God’s power and love, it can happen.

74 Session 3 THE POINT // WE MUST TRUST GOD WHEN CONFLICT DISRUPTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

COMMUNITYEven though Christians are called to live at peace with one another, because of our sin, we will experience conflict. And the ways we respond are incredibly important. We should respond with grace and forgiveness.

11 Where are you experiencing conflict?

12 What steps will you take to make things right?

CULTUREBecause our world doesn’t value the things of God, we will live in conflict with our world. However, we should never compromise when it comes to issues of sin. We can’t love both the world and God.

13 Where are you experiencing conflict with the world’s values?

14 How does this tempt you to sin?

Share with an unsaved friend this week why you can never make compromises in matters of faith.

Bible Studies for Life 75

When God established a covenant relationship with His people, Israel, He included in the first ten commands the explicit to speak the truth. In Exodus 20:16, we read to not lie about our neighbors. God gave these rules for living for several reasons. First, if Israel wanted God’s blessings, it was necessary that they would obey. Further, these weren’t rules only, but a revealing of God’s nature, and the people reflected God when they obeyed the commands. God is faithful and true, and therefore, telling the truth is essential for His people. Finally, God gave the laws to help the people to love their neighbors well. Loving our neighbors requires our telling the truth just as much now as when God gave the Ten Commandments. To lie is to deceive and manipulate. Sometimes, telling the truth isn’t easy, but it is an essential ingredient to all healthy relationships.

When has telling the truth been difficult for you?

Why is telling the truth so important?

Day OneEPHESIANS 4:25

DAILYDEVOTIONS

The 7 Arrows ofBible Reading

What does this passage say?

How does this passage change the

way I relate to people?

What does this passage tell us

about God?

What did this passage mean to its original audience?

How does this passage prompt

me to pray?

What does this passage Tell us

about man?

What does this passage

demand of me?

76 Session 3

There are two kinds of anger: righteous anger and selfish anger. In James 1:20, we read that human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. Selfish anger—being angry when things don’t go our way or being concerned with our own desires rather than God’s purposes—never produces any good results. However, it can cause a lot of destruction. Righteous anger, on the other hand, is appropriate to others dishonoring God. It’s totally unselfish and concerned with God’s reputation. The apostle Paul is speaking not of selfish anger (which is never okay), but of righteous anger, because even appropriate anger can cause harm if it’s not dealt with in a healthy way. When we stay angry at others, it allows the devil the opportunity to cause conflict and disrupt unity. Relationships are so important that it’s always worth the trouble of working through offenses.

What’s the difference between selfish anger and righteous anger? Provide examples.

Why is it so important to resolve even appropriate anger quickly?

We know that stealing is wrong. So, hopefully, we don’t steal from the people we care about (or anyone for that matter). However, we offend this principle when we behave selfishly—when we keep for ourselves what God would have us share with others. Selfishness is also expressed through our words. Sometimes, we communicate in ways that show clearly that we’re concerned with ourselves and not worried about what others think or feel. Foul language refers specifically to words that are rotten, and like a putrid piece of fruit, these kinds of words should make us feel so sick that they would never be found in our mouths. Selfish behavior and rotten, self-centered words both lead to conflict in relationships. Instead, we should devote ourselves to serving and encouraging one another. When we commit to these things, it produces healthy relationships that bless both others and God.

How are you tempted to behave selfishly?

Why do words have such a powerful impact on relationships?

Day TwoEPHESIANS 4:26-27

Day ThreeEPHESIANS 4:28-29

Bible Studies for Life 77

When we come to faith in Christ, we are made new and called to live differently than before. But as long as we’re in this life, we will wrestle with the flesh. And though when a Christian chooses sin, it doesn’t take away our salvation, it grieves God and interrupts our intimacy with Him. Sin also damages our relationships with others. People are weak. We make mistakes and bad choices, and we’ll do things to offend one another. Nonetheless, because relationships are so important, we must put away sinful attitudes and actions, and instead choose to live with grace and love. It’s certainly not always easy, but in following Jesus, it is essential that we make the choice every day to put away bitterness, anger, and harsh words.

Why does sin grieve God so much?

Where might you be harboring anger and bitterness? Choose to remove those from your heart.

Day FourEPHESIANS 4:30-31

A natural response to people’s offending us is to become angry or bitter. However, this does the opposite of reflecting Jesus. Think about it—Jesus was treated in the worst kinds of ways, and still He prayed for the Father’s forgiveness upon those who crucified Him. We’ve all offended God, and still He extended grace to us. Therefore, in reflecting the goodness of God, we must do the same. When others offend us—and they will—we must be willing to forgive them in the same ways that God has forgiven us. This is a powerful way to show the love of God. And this is essential to dealing with conflict in relationships.

Describe the ways God has forgiven you.

How will you reflect God in forgiving someone who’s offended you?

Day FiveEPHESIANS 4:32

78 Session 3