When Teachers and Parents Work TogetherWhen Teachers and Parents Work Together

A A h D l C l L f Sk llAn Approach to Developing Critical Life Skills for All Children

Lynnette ChristensenLynnette ChristensenPaul Caldarella

K. Richard YoungJohn Wilkinson

D id O M K S h l f Ed iDavid O. McKay School of EducationBrigham Young University

IntroducingIntroducing

A More Civil Teaching and Learning A More Civil Teaching and Learning En ir nm nt in th S h l nd H mEn ir nm nt in th S h l nd H mA More Civil Teaching and Learning A More Civil Teaching and Learning

En ir nm nt in th S h l nd H mEn ir nm nt in th S h l nd H mEnvironment in the School and HomeEnvironment in the School and HomeEnvironment in the School and HomeEnvironment in the School and Home

Today’s Presentation

1. The need and benefits of improved behavior at home pand school.

2. Where does it begin?2. Where does it begin?

3. The positive behavior research.

4. Five effective tools.

1 The need for and benefits of improved1 The need for and benefits of improved1. The need for and benefits of improved 1. The need for and benefits of improved behaviorbehavior in the home and in the home and schoolschool

The Stakes are High, but . . .The Stakes are High, but . . .

“I need not remind you that the cities ofI need not remind you that the cities of America are in trouble…the problems will largely continue until many more people get at the root That root I believe lies inget at the root. That root, I believe, lies in two places: in our schools and in our homes.” Gordon B. Hinckley

. . . So are the Possible Benefits. . . So are the Possible Benefits. . . So are the Possible Benefits. . . So are the Possible Benefits

Problem behaviors at home and at h l b d dschool can be prevented or corrected.

Children naturally want to please their parents or the teachers they likeparents or the teachers they like.

Adults are seen as a trusted source of help.of help.

Children will respond more positively to modeling.g

Students are more willing to spend time with positive adults.

We Invite You to Help Us We Invite You to Help Us ppReachReach Our Our DreamDream

Our Dream is to Teach Every Our Dream is to Teach Every FFamilyamily and and Teacher in the WorldTeacher in the World how to Build Positivehow to Build PositiveTeacher in the World Teacher in the World how to Build Positive how to Build Positive

and Civil and Civil RelationshipsRelationships

2 Where do we begin?2 Where do we begin?2. Where do we begin?2. Where do we begin?

Positive Relationships Positive Relationships Positive Relationships Positive Relationships ppBegin with YouBegin with You

ppBegin with YouBegin with You

It Begins with Youg

Setting the StageSetting the StageSetting the StageSetting the Stage

A Nurturing Disposition

Heart

Head Actions

An Example No Matter WhatAn Example No Matter WhatAn Example, No Matter WhatAn Example, No Matter What

The Reciprocal Nature of Being aN i PNurturing Parent

Children are Little Mirrors

Confronting the PastConfronting the PastConfronting the PastConfronting the Past

Learning from the past.

The past is a:The past is a:• Source of some of our approaches as

parents and teachersp• Learning experience about the impact

or the result of harsh or ineffective teaching and parenting practices

• Motivator for changing our own h i h d hildapproach with our students or children

3. Positive Behavior Support Research3. Positive Behavior Support Research

What is Positive Behavior Support?What is Positive Behavior Support?What is Positive Behavior Support?What is Positive Behavior Support?

5%Tertiary__Tertiary__

15% Overview of Positive Behavior SupportSecondary__Secondary__

80%

1. Build Relationships2. Establish Expectations

__

PrimaryPrimary 80% 3. Teach Appropriate Behavior4. Reinforce Appropriate

Primary_____Primary_____

Behavior5. Apply Data-Driven

I iInterventions

F nd ti n f P iti B h i r S pp rtF nd ti n f P iti B h i r S pp rtFoundations of Positive Behavior SupportFoundations of Positive Behavior Support

h l l d fBehavior is largely a product of its immediate environment.

h l l d bBehavior ultimately responds better to positive rather than negative consequences.

L b k l d lLearning best takes place under pleasant circumstances.

Th ff i hThe most effective way to change inappropriate behavior is to teach and praise

appropriate behavior.appropriate behavior.

Guiding Principles of Positive Behavior SupportSupport

All youth can learn.

Problem behaviors often result from inappropriate learning and can be

corrected.

Adults must adopt high expectations for civil behavior.

l d b ldInstruction must include building skills critical to success in life.

C h lCreate teaching or learning opportunities frequently (Carpe

Diem).Diem).

4 Fi Eff ti4 Fi Eff ti T lT l4. Five Effective4. Five Effective ToolsTools

Introducing You Can Do ThisIntroducing You Can Do This

Success Comes in

“Cans”

Five Effective Tools for Building Five Effective Tools for Building Five Effective Tools for Building Five Effective Tools for Building ggNurturing Nurturing FamilesFamiles

ggNurturing Nurturing FamilesFamiles

1. Building Positive Relationships

2. Preventing and Correcting Misbehavior

3. Giving Encouragement and Praise

4. Expressing Gratitude

5. Showing Kindness

Building Positive Building Positive RelationshipsRelationshipsBuilding Positive Building Positive RelationshipsRelationships

1. What is a positive relationship?p

2. What are the benefits?

3. How do we build one?

5 Effective Tools

What is a Positive Relationship?What is a Positive Relationship?What is a Positive Relationship?What is a Positive Relationship?

How would you describe a

Mutual TrustKind

ypositive relationship?

RespectConsiderationEncouraging

OpenConsiderationLoving

Validating

OpenFun

CourteousValidatingSafe

Courteous

5 Effective Tools

B n fit f P iti R l ti n hipBenefits of Positive Relationships

Students naturally want to please teachers they like

Adults become a trusted source of helpAdults become a trusted source of helpThe effectiveness of modeling is

enhancedStudents are more willing to spend time

with teachers they like

5 Effective Tools

How do How do StudentsStudents Like to be Treated?Like to be Treated?How do How do StudentsStudents Like to be Treated?Like to be Treated?

What behaviors to students like and dislike in adults?

Calm, pleasant voice toneOffers to help

Compliments performance

Overt displays of angerAccusing/blaming statements

Giving no opportunities to speak

Positive Behaviors Negative Behaviors

Compliments performanceFairness

Explaining why, how, or what

Giving no opportunities to speakMean insulting remarks

Unpleasant physical contactPositive Behaviors Negative Behaviors

ConcernEnthusiasmPoliteness

Lack of fairnessBossy, demanding

UnpleasantGetting right to the pointPleasant facial expression

S i i

pTalking only about mistakes

No eye contactStating expectationsAdapted from Willner, et al. (1977)

5 Effective Tools

Ways to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive Relationships

The Relationship Bank

DepositsEach interaction with another person isEach interaction with another person is

an opportunity to make a deposit in your relationship bank account by

doing something positive.do g so et g pos t ve.

WithdrawalsSaying or doing something negative y g g g g

results in a withdrawal from yourrelationship bank account.

5 Effective Tools

Ways to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive Relationships8:18:1

Ways to Build Positive RelationshipsWays to Build Positive Relationships8:18:1

We need to make MORE DEPOSITS than withdrawals.

f f d dEven if criticism is justified, it needs to be balanced out with

EIGHTEIGHTmore positives than negatives

8 18:1POSTIVES TO NEGATIVES

5 Effective Tools

More Specific Ways to Build PositiveMore Specific Ways to Build PositiveMore Specific Ways to Build PositiveMore Specific Ways to Build PositiveMore Specific Ways to Build Positive More Specific Ways to Build Positive RelationshipsRelationships

More Specific Ways to Build Positive More Specific Ways to Build Positive RelationshipsRelationships

What do you say? What are some additional y yways to build positive relationships?

• Seek opportunities to interact

• Develop common interestsp

• Display concern for well-being

• Express confidence and trustExpress confidence and trust

• Ask child or student for help or advice

5 Effective Tools

Building Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive RelationshipsVideo VignetteVideo Vignette

Building Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive RelationshipsVideo VignetteVideo Vignette

5 Effective Tools

How toHow toHow toHow toHow to How to Build Positive RelationshipsBuild Positive Relationships

How to How to Build Positive RelationshipsBuild Positive Relationships

Spend quality & quantity

Make continuous &

i t tShow we

care by what& quantity time consistent

effortcare by what we say & do

5 Effective Tools

Encouragement and PraiseEncouragement and Praise

Children and students in families and at school need

the positive benefits of encouragement and praiseencouragement and praise.

5 Effective Tools

How to Encourage and PraiseHow to Encourage and PraiseHow to Encourage and PraiseHow to Encourage and Praise

1. Notice the need

2. Express confidence, trust, and beliefand belief through words and actions

5 Effective Tools

Encouragement and PraiseEncouragement and PraisegVideo Vignette

gVideo Vignette

5 Effective Tools

How toHow toGive Encouragement and PraiseGive Encouragement and Praise

1. Be Sincere

2. Be Specific

3 Gi R n Ri ht3. Give a Reason Right Away

5 Effective Tools

Preventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting Misbehavior

How would we finish this thought?

“If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach.”,

“If a child doesn’t know how to swim, we teach.”

“If a child doesn’t know how to multiply, we teach.”

“If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we…John Herner (NASDSE President) Counterpoint 1998, p.2

5 Effective Tools

Cycle of Coercion or Cycle of Coercion or Cycle of Coercion or Cycle of Coercion or yyPunishmentPunishment

yyPunishmentPunishment

Communicates only what student SHOULD NOT DO.

Does not teach what TO DODoes not teach what TO DO.

Provides only short-term suppression of inappropriate pp pp pbehavior.

Sets stage for violence, vandalism, & escape& escape.

Never addresses real problems.

5 Effective Tools

Preventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting Misbehaviorby Teaching a Positive Alternativeby Teaching a Positive Alternative

Preventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting Misbehaviorby Teaching a Positive Alternativeby Teaching a Positive Alternative

1. Name and describe

2. Give a rationale

3. Model (you do)

4. Practice (they do)

5. Feed-back & praise

6. Plan future practicedescribe praise practice

The Teaching Pattern

5 Effective Tools

The Teaching Pattern

Teach a Social SkillTeach a Social SkillTeach a Social SkillTeach a Social SkillTeach a Social SkillTeach a Social SkillActivityActivity

Teach a Social SkillTeach a Social SkillActivityActivity

Teaching Pattern:F ll in Dir ti n

Teach the social skill:

Look at the person

Following Directions 1. Name and describe the behavior: “Let’s talk about following directions. Following directions means doing what

person

Say, “OK.”

you’ve been asked to do.”

2. Give a rationale: “When you follow directions you get the work done right,

Start fastplease the person who needs your help and help make family life happy.”

3. Model (you do)

Finish the task 4. Practice (they do)5. Give feedback and praise6 Pl f i i iCheck back

5 Effective Tools

6. Plan future practice opportunities

Preventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorVideoVideo

Preventing and Correcting MisbehaviorPreventing and Correcting MisbehaviorVideoVideo

5 Effective Tools

G dG dG dG dGratitudeGratitudeGratitudeGratitude

“Where there is gratitude, h i h ili i d fthere is humility instead of

pride, generosity rather than selfishness. . . gratitude is the g udbeginning of civility, of decency and goodness. . .” Gordon B HinckleyGordon B. Hinckley

5 Effective Tools

G i d Di iG i d Di iG i d Di iG i d Di iGratitude DiscussionGratitude DiscussionGratitude DiscussionGratitude Discussion

Think of a time when d i dsomeone expressed gratitude.

How did you feel?

Think of a time when you expressed gratitude. How did you feel?you feel?

5 Effective Tools

How to Express GratitudeHow to Express Gratitude

Expressing Gratitude:

Reflect

Express

5 Effective Tools

How to Express GratitudeV d V

How to Express GratitudeV d VVideo VignetteVideo Vignette

5 Effective Tools

Showing KindnessShowing KindnessShowing KindnessShowing Kindness

“Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. pIt softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lif i Ki d d llifetimes. Kind words not only lift our spirits in the moment they are given, but they can y g , ylinger with us over the years.” Joseph B. Wirthlin

5 Effective Tools

K d DK d DK d DK d DKindness DiscussionKindness DiscussionKindness DiscussionKindness Discussion

Why show kindness? (discuss)(discuss)1. Kindness builds relationships.2. Kind words lift in the moment but2. Kind words lift in the moment but

often linger for years.3. Kindness invites kind acts from

thothers.4. Kindness helps us avoid being

critical and judgmental.5. Kindness removes barriers and leads

to understanding.6 Kindness is incompatible with

5 Effective Tools

6. Kindness is incompatible with anger.

H Sh Ki dH Sh Ki dH Sh Ki dH Sh Ki dHow to Show KindnessHow to Show KindnessHow to Show KindnessHow to Show Kindness

1 Notice other’sShowing Kindness:

1. Notice other s needs

3. Feel and3. Feel and understand

3. Meet needs through words

d tiand actions

5 Effective Tools

Showing KindnessShowing KindnessShowing KindnessShowing KindnessShowing Kindness Showing Kindness VideoVideo

Showing Kindness Showing Kindness VideoVideo

5 Effective Tools

ConclusionConclusionConclusionConclusion

Today schools, families and communities f t d ith h ll iare confronted with challenging

behaviors from our nation’s youth. More than ever it takes an entire village, to gboth prevent and correct these problems. Collectively we need to invest much

i ti d lmore in prevention and early intervention.

http://education.byu.edu/pbsihttp://education.byu.edu/pbsi

l nn tt hri t n n@b dlynnette_christensen@byu.edupaul_caldarella@byu.edurichard_young@byu.eduy g y

McKay School of EducationBrigham Young UniversityBrigham Young University

Provo, UT 84606byu.pbsi@gmail.com

David O. McKaySchool of EducationDavid O. McKaySchool of EducationSchool of EducationSchool of Education