Mountain Life Church/Life Pack/July 13-14, 2013

When a Man Stands

Tall

When a Man Stands TallSermon Notes

July 13-14, 2013

I. The Heavenly PictureA. Marriage: God’s Idea

1. The Bible begins with a wedding and ends with a wedding

2. A picture of the trinity3. A picture of God’s redemptive purpose

B. The Man as Christ1. Head2. Servant leader (v. 23)3. Cherishing (vs. 25-33)4. Understanding (I Peter 3: 7)5. Sacrificial (v. 26-27)

C. The Bride as the Church1. Submissive (v. 22)2. Respectful (vs. 22 & 33)3. Honoring (vs. 22 & 33)

II. The Fallen ManA. The Sin of Adam

1. PassivityShows itself in spiritual, relational, and practical passivityShows itself also in dominating, aggressionShows itself in no felt need for relationship with God or with people, especially their wives.

2. Fallen masculinity defined in sexual terms and worldly accomplishment

The focus on work and identity with workThe focus on sexualityDominance or puppy-fication

B. The Chic-ification of American Culture1. The feminine reaction to fallen masculinity2. Women take over3. Men become more passive

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Table TalkTeens

Read Ephesians 5:25-33                                                         Question One:Paul does not emphasize the husband’s authority; instead, he calls on husbands to love self-sacrificially.

What does it mean to love self-sacrificially? Question Two:We are to emulate Christ’s love, the kind of love that is willing to lay down ones life for another person and serve that person even if it means suffering.

Share some examples how we can emulate Christ’s love. Question Three:In these verses, Paul briefly outlines what Jesus has done for the church.

List some things that Jesus has done for the church. Question Four:In verse 5:32, Paul compares a Christian marriage between a husband and wife to a great mystery.

What is this mystery? Question Five:

Describe what we can learn from the example that Paul shows us between marriage and Christ’s relationship with the church.

 

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III.The Redeemed ManA. A Lover

1. Relational pursuitRobert Lewis’ definition of a real man: A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and seeks the greater reward, God’s reward.

2. A selfless servantHis leadership is not dominating, but rather firm, masculine selflessnessHis leadership takes initiative to pursue her holinessNot passive and soft, not dominating and overly aggressive

B. The Priest of the Home1. Pursues her holiness and purity2. Initiator of selfless prayer3. Loves her in an understanding way4. Cherishes her

Jack Taylor: You can tell what a man has invested or withheld from his wife by the countenance on her face.

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Life Group Questions for July 13-14, 2013

Message =When a Man Stands TallIce  Breaker:  Tell  about  a  male  figure  who  impacted  your  life.    What  was  it  about  that  man  that  impacted  you.      

Read  Ephesians  5:  23-­‐‑33.

1. What  stands  out  to  you  about  this  passage?

2. Have  the  group  throw  out  one  word  definitions  of  manhood  as  seen  in  this  passage.    

3. Randy  talked  about  how  male  passivity  shows  itself  as  passivity  in  relationships  and  leadership,  or  as  over  aggressive,  dominance.    Invite  the  men  of  the  group  to  share  a  liCle  about  their  struggle  with  passivity.    

4. Ask  the  women  of  the  group  to  share  about  ways  that  their  husbands  have  been  able  to  love  them  like  Jesus  loved  His  church,  and  have  them  tell  how  this  love  has  affected  them  as  women.    

5. Have  someone  read  verses  25-­‐‑27  again.  Define  the  love  that  Paul  is  talking  about  in  this  passage.    

6. What  are  some  practical  ways  to  pursue  the  holiness  and  purity  of  another  person?    

7. Have  someone  read  I  Peter  3:  7.    What  do  you  think  it  means  for  a  man  to  live  with  his  wife  in  an  UNDERSTANDING  way?    What  else  does  this  verse  say  to  you?    

8. Pray  for  one  another.

Table TalkElementary

Bible Passage-Ephesians 5:25-33 Question 1 - I'm pretty sure that you are NOT married! Most likely you haven't even thought about marriage at your ripe young age. This week's passage focuses on how to love a woman like Jesus loves His church. How does a person decide who to marry? Ask your parents this same question (how did they decide who to marry?). Question 2 - Is it better to be single or married? Explain your thinking. Since you are not married, nor have you (most likely) contemplated marriage, we are going to shift our focus this week to Christ's love for you! Love is not just a word (a noun), it's actually an action that shows itself. How did Christ show that He loves us? (His work on the cross). How do you show others that you love them? How do you show Jesus that you love Him? Question 3 - Have you ever uttered the words "I'm not your friend anymore" (or had anyone say that to you?), only to be friends the next day/week? 2 Timothy 2:24 instructs us not to be quarrelsome (have lots of arguments), but to be kind and patient to all. Are you a patient person? What are some things that cause you to be impatient? Who is the kindest person you know? What actions show their kindness? Focus on being kind and doing kind things for others this week. Keep track of your kind actions in a journal until kindness becomes a way of life and you show kindness on a regular basis.

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Table TalkPreschool & Nursery

Hebrews 11:1-3, Luke 17:5-6, Matthew 17:20, Galatians 5:22-23 Day 1: Read Luke 10:25-37

Ask your children what they think it means to have faith.  Faith is a confidence in believing without seeing, or putting conviction in a belief of truth.  So many of the stories in the Bible are examples of what happens when we have faith or are faithful to God (e.g., Noah, Moses, Abraham, Joseph, Mary, Paul, healings by Jesus & the disciples).  Share an example of faithfulness in your life. Day 2: Read Luke 17:5-6 and Matthew 17:20As a family, discuss how faithfulness comes from God through the Holy Spirit.  It is an action based on our faith once we believe.  All we need is just a tiny little bit of faith and we are filled with the mighty power of the Holy Spirit.  God wants us to tell others about our faith.  God rewards our faithfulness with life changes and His promise of an everlasting life with Him.  Talk about what to do if we ever feel like we do not believe sometimes or when it is hard to believe.  We can pray!      Memory Verse:“And without faith it is impossible to please God.”  - Hebrews 11:6a Day 3: Read Galatians 5:22-23Repetition is a key element in learning for Toddlers and preschoolers.  Discuss again how, when we live according to the Holy Spirit, God brings special gifts into our lives.  Similar to how He brings fruit to the fruit trees, only the fruit He gives us are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Continue to work together as a family to memorize the fruits of the spirit.

Activity: Put 3-5 small common items that are safe and known to your children in a paper bag or box.  Take turns reaching into the bag with your eyes shut or blindfolded.  Can you correctly identify each item without looking?  How are you able to tell what the item is without seeing it?  Discuss how this may be similar to having faith in God.

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Personal Devotion PagesThe following pages are designed to help you enjoy a regular time alone with God. We have divided up the curriculum to help us grow wherever we are at in our relationship with God and in our knowledge of His Kingdom.

LEVELS: Since we are a Colorado church, we use skiing imagery to communicate the different levels of intensity and time involved in relating to God.

BEGINNER: If you are new in your relationship with God, we encourage you to try the exercises under this symbol:

INTERMEDIATE: If you have walked with God for some time and would like a little more challenge and more time involvement, try the exercises under this symbol:

ADVANCED: These exercises are for people who have walked with God for some time and display maturity in their relationship with Him.

These exercises provide a practical way to encounter God and His truth on a regular basis. There are no rules here. Please don’t hurry through the process. Slow meditation and memorization seems to soak in better than cramming.

Enjoy!

Day One1. Take  some  time  to  praise  the  Lord  for  who  He  is  and  enjoy  

thanking  Him  for  what  He  has  done  in  your  life  lately.

2. Meditate  on  Ephesians  5:  21-­‐‑33.

3. Read  Genesis  3:  1-­‐‑19.    Write  down  some  observations  you  have  about  Adam’s  sin,  and  the  curse  put  on  Eve  and  Adam.

Memorize  I  Peter  3:  1.

Memorize  I  Peter  3:  1-­‐‑2.

Memorize  I  Peter  3:  1-­‐‑2,  7.  

A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and seeks the greater reward, God’s reward.

~Robert Lewis

Boys play house, men build homesBoys shack up, men get married.

Boys make babies, men raise childrenA boy won't raise his own children, a man will raise someone else's.Boys invent excuses for failure, men produce strategies for success.

Boys look for somebody to take care of them, men look for someone to take care of.Boys seek popularity, men demand respect and know how to give it.

~Anonymous

Growing up is difficult for most men. It comes through great tribulation. If a boy doesn’t get a chance to face hardship and overcome it, he will remain a veritable Peter Pan. The good news is this: God is the King of second chances... and third, and fourth, and three hundred sixty ninth!

At some point, manhood becomes not about achieving what the world declares as important, but what God deems as important. Real manhood is not about sexual prowess, trophies, and financial abundance. Paul tells us that manhood is all about sacrificial, serving love. Real men pursue relationship with God, with their wives, their children, and others who call upon God in passionate truth.

The first step toward real manhood is through admitting failures, admitting sins, and confessing our inability to be like Jesus. Without those things, we will continue to be boys in men’s bodies. The second step is to walk in adventurous faith and follow God with wild abandonment.

Day Five

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Day Five1. Take  some  time  to  praise  the  Lord  for  who  He  is  and  enjoy  

thanking  Him  for  what  He  has  done  in  your  life  lately.  

2. Meditate  on  Proverbs  31.    

3. Meditate  on  how  you  see  Jesus  loving  His  church  (His  disciples)  in  the  Gospels.    Write  some  things  down  that  you  discover.

4. Finish  your  Bible  memorization  today.

Day OneWhen the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

~Genesis 3: 6

Most Biblical scholars agree that the great sin of the man in this narrative was that of passivity. He had been created to be the head of the wife, the great protector and caregiver of the priceless lady, but now he passively let her be deceived and enter into sin, and then he joined her in it.

Had he been on his game, he would have demanded that the serpent depart because his trustworthy and kind Creator had commanded them not to eat of the tree. The command had come first to him, before Eve was even created, and he passed that command onto her.

But Adam stood by while the unprotected Eve journeyed into darkness. Then, he went into sin with her.

This passivity remains the great weakness of the male race. It rears its ugly head in one of two ways. Men have the tendency to either be relationally passive or overly aggressive and dominating. Both of these are a symptom of spiritual passivity.

Man was originally created to live in an understanding, compassionate, relational, and serving role as the leader of his home. His strength of character would enable him to be a capable provider and protector, as well as a just disciplinarian. The passivity that came with the Fall of Man causes men to fall on either side of this goal. He will either be too passive or too dominating.

Father, teach me what it means to love as You love!

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Day Two1. Take  some  time  to  praise  the  Lord  for  who  He  is  and  enjoy  

thanking  Him  for  what  He  has  done  in  your  life  lately.  

2. Meditate  on  I  Peter  3:  1-­‐‑7.    

3. Ask  the  Lord  to  show  you  how  to  love  your  spouse  like  Jesus  loved  His  church.    

4. Take  time  to  pray  for  your  spouse  with  a  selfless  heart.    If  you  are  single,  then  pray  for  your  future  spouse.    Ask  the  Lord  to  make  you  into  a  wholehearted  worshiper  so  that  you  will  be  ready  for  your  spouse.    

5. Continue  memorizing  and  meditating  on  the  scriptures  for  this  week.

Day FourAnd you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife.

~Ephesians 5:25-28, NLT

This passage paints a picture of Jesus as a groom who PURSUES His bride. My little brother talked to me this past weekend and told me that men love to pursue goals, dreams, visions, and money, but it’s hard to find a man who pursues deeper relationships. His words convicted me. In comparison to my beautiful bride, I am a pitiful pursuer of relationships - and I’m an extrovert!

I meet so many men who have no felt need for relationships. The operative word there is FELT. We men don’t feel a need for relationships because we’re broken. We are nowhere near being what God created us to be. The curse that came upon us when Adam and Eve sinned brought us into spiritual and relational passivity.

Yet, Jesus pursued us by coming to earth and living as a regular human. Today, He pursues us continually by seeking our holiness and purity. He is always after us. A passive man is a neutered man. Real masculinity finds life in pursuing personal holiness and a deep relationship with Jesus. That life bubbles over within us as we pursue the holiness and purity of our wives and children.

Father, forgive me for my passivity in things that are eternally important. Make me into a person who continually pursues others and You!

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Day TwoAnd you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s word.

~Ephesians 5:25, 26, NLT

The first Adam stood by and watched his bride slide into darkness. The second Adam, Jesus of Nazareth, laid down His life for his bride, providing a way of redemption.

It is beautiful to see Jesus’ sacrificial love, His selflessness, and His attitude of a servant toward His bride. His focus was on her. His primary vocation was her redemption, and His primary desire was to present her spotless and blameless on the wedding day.

One aspect of women that reflects the nature of God is the inner sensor they all possess in regard to the love of their husbands. A woman intuitively knows when she is first place in her man’s life. Her sensor strikes an alarm when he places anything or anyone above her. When a man puts too much into his work, she feels it. He puts too much into sports and TV, she feels it deeply. God made her with this sensor to help her man keep a holy love for his bride. A holy love tells the bride through words, deeds, and priorities, that there is no other before her.

Holy love goes after the woman’s best, prays for her holiness and growth, and intercedes for her like a priest prays for his parish.

Father, teach me to love with selfless holiness. Help me to pursue the best for others.

Day Four1. Take  some  time  to  praise  the  Lord  for  who  He  is  and  enjoy  

thanking  Him  for  what  He  has  done  in  your  life  lately.    

2. Meditate  again  on  I  Peter  3:  1-­‐‑7.    Husbands,  take  time  to  pray  for  your  wife  to  be  holy  and  blameless  before  God.    Wives,  ask  God  to  show  you  how  to  submit  to  your  husband  and  ask  God  to  show  you  how  to  respect  him,  even  when  he  is  not  respectable.        If  you’re  not  married,  ask  God  to  prepare  you  for  your  future  mate.

3. Ask  the  Lord  to  show  you  who  you  need  to  push  into  relationship  with,  but  have  not  done  so  until  now.    Take  the  initiative  to  call  them  this  week  and  spend  time  with  them.        

4. Continue  meditating  on  and  memorizing  the  scripture  for  this  week.

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Day Three Day Three1. Take  some  time  to  praise  the  Lord  for  who  He  is  and  enjoy  

thanking  Him  for  what  He  has  done  in  your  life  lately.    

2. Meditate  again  on  Ephesians  5;  21-­‐‑33.

3. Bring  at  least  three  friends  or  loved  ones  to  the  Lord  and  ask  Him  to  bring  them  to  repentance  and  faith.    Ask  Him  to  show  you  how  you  can  boldly  love  them  and  speak  the  words  of  Jesus  into  their  lives.      

 4. Continue  meditating  on  and  memorizing  the  scripture  for  this  

week.

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In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body.

~Ephesians 5:28-30, NLT

Many years ago, the Holy Spirit broke through and helped me realize God’s profound love for me. I still go through waves of tears when I think about it. I don’t think a person can really live until they know how much God loves them. It’s not enough to cognitively understand that Jesus died on a cross for me and for His church. It is something that must go down to the core of who you are. It’s something only the Spirit can reveal and, until He does reveal it, we bobble around like a ship without a rudder.

What challenges me about this passage is when Paul tells the husband to love his wife like Jesus loves His church. After getting the revelation of His love for me, I feel inadequate to love my bride like He does His bride.

Yet, I firmly believe God does not command us to do what He can not empower us to do. All of God’s love is within us and the tap is at our fingertips.

Father, I choose to love like You love today. I pray for those whom I love and ask You to empower me to selflessly and sacrificially lay down my life for them. I pray that Your kingdom would come in their lives as it has in mine. I ask that Your transforming love would flow through me!

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