While You Were

Sleeping

By: Jinko

The explosion was small, but it had enough force to send the man holding the wand

backwards. So far backwards, he fell off the stone roof he was standing on, falling down

three stories. Not far off, his partner fell down from their standing position. Somewhere,

their son screamed, running over to his father.

"Papa!" the little boy cried, looking at the man who had fallen off the roof of their large

manor. "Papa, wake up!" Emerald green eyes with silver specks filled with tears as the

boy noticed his father wasn't waking up. He then shook his head, running back inside

the house. Forgetting about his other parent, the boy ran to the fireplace where a proud

fire was burning. Throwing a handful of sand into the flame, turning the flames into a

bright green colour. "Uncle Sev!" he shouted into the flames. "Uncle Sev!"

A pale face showed in the fire. He had long black hair and a large crooked nose.

"James?" he asked quickly. "Are you alright?"

"Papa fell!" James cried, the tears now spilling down his face. "Papa fell off the roof."

Severus Snape paled even further, and the next thing James knew, his 'Uncle Sev' was in

the room next to him.

"Where is he, James?"

Silver eyes looked down on the pale face lovingly. Messy raven hair cupped around the

pale face, making the owner of the silver eyes want to brush it.

Softly, the one with silver eyes leant down, kissing the pale forehead gently. "Wake up

soon," Draco whispered into the soft silence. "Please."

"Papa!" The small five-year-old ran into the main bedroom of the Malfoy Manor, closely

followed by Severus. Draco looked up at the older man weakly.

"How was he?" Draco asked as James grabbed at Draco's leg, silently asking to be

brought up onto his lap.

"Well behaved as usual," Severus said with a sigh. "But he missed his papa."

"He never missed daddy, do you?" Draco asked James as he pulled him onto him. James

giggled and moved onto his papa's chest.

"Papa hasn't woken up, has he?" James asked, his eyes wide.

"Well, tell him the good news, James," Draco said. "What did you learn last night?"

"My ABCs!" the young boy shouted. "Papa! I learnt my ABCs." And with that, James

began to recite the alphabet.

"He's been doing that all day," Severus said to Draco, who was rubbing his hand up and

down James's back. "Has he even moved?"

"No," Draco sighed. "I haven't sensed anything." The twenty-six-year-old brought his

left hand to his lap, playing with a gold bracelet there. There were small spikes in it that

Draco knew went deep into his wrist. A single silver snake with emerald eyes wrapped

around it once. And he knew that the man lying in the bed he was sitting on was wearing

the same bracelet on his own left wrist. "Last night, I felt that he was scared-he kept

whispering 'Sirius' in my head. That's why I couldn't sleep. Some times it would be really

soft, like he was happy, but other times it was loud, like he was terrified."

"Maybe he's just dreaming," Severus said. Draco looked down with a heavy sigh.

"I think that's what I'm worried about. Sirius was his godfather, right?"

"Yes."

"He hasn't mentioned him for eleven years. I know what he dreams about. This is the

first time he's dreamt about him that I know of. He normally dreams of me, or James, or

even Voldemort, but never about things that he doesn't want to remember."

"This is the first dream he's had since he fell into the coma, isn't it?" Severus asked.

Draco nodded his head. "Three months."

"Aunty 'Mione said it shouldn't take three months," James said, turning to the two older

males in the room. "Oh! And Aunty 'Mione and Uncle Ron said they were gonna come

round Sunerday."

"That's Sunday," Draco reprimanded James. "And that's going to, not gonna."

"And today is Sunday," Severus said quickly. Draco paled. "James, what time did they

say?"

"About lunch time," the boy smiled. He then frowned. "I'm hungry, Daddy."

Draco looked at a clock by the side of the bed. "It's one o'clock. Sev, can you tell the

house elves to start lunch? I'll get James cleaned up."

"But I don't wanna leave Papa," James argued. He looked at Draco. "Can I stay here with

papa?"

"No," Draco sighed. He wrapped his arms around the child and picked him up. "Let's get

you ready."

Emerald green eyes snapped open, and the owner shot forward into the air. "Sirius!"

Harry Potter shouted as he woke up. He looked around the large room, thinking how he

didn't know where he was. The last thing he remembered was being locked up at his

relatives' house. He heard talking coming from rooms outside the one he was in.

Standing, he fell quickly, his legs quickly becoming numb. That was when Harry realised

he was different from what he last remembered. He was taller, for one. He looked down

at his body. He had filled out a bit more, too. No longer was he the skinny little kid, but

he looked like a well-muscled adult.

Draco's head began to spin. He collapsed against the dining table heavily, dropping the

bowel of salad he was holding.

"Daddy?" James asked from his cushion-stacked chair. He jumped off, reaching Draco

before anyone else. "Daddy, are you alright?"

"Draco?" Draco looked up to see Hermione Weasley, nee Granger, walking over to him.

"What's wrong?"

"He's awake," Draco said quickly and turned towards the staircase where he saw Harry

limping down. "Harry!"

"Papa!" James was quick to rush to the staircase. "Papa! You're awake!"

Harry paused, looking at the smiling faces. He knew them, but they all looked different,

like he did. But the small child running up to him, calling him 'Papa', was new to him.

"Who-? What's going on?" Harry asked. "Where am I?"

"Home, Harry," the one resembling Hermione Granger, said.

"Who are you?"

"Harry, it's me, Hermione." Hermione took as step forward. "Come here so I can see if

you're alright."

"No, you're not Hermione," Harry said quickly. "Hermione's only fifteen."

"Yeah, eleven years ago, man," this came from the one that looked like Ron Weasley, but

again, he was much older. "You remember me, right? It's me, Ron, your best friend."

"Papa," James tried again. Harry looked at the little boy. He had messy black hair like

himself, a pale face and emerald green eyes with silver flecks.

"What's going on here?" Harry shouted. "What the hell is going on? Why is this kid

calling me 'Papa', why does everyone look like their ten years older than they're

supposed to be? Why aren't I at my aunt's house? And why am I standing in the same

room as Malfoy and Snape if this is supposed to be my home?"

"Hermione," everyone turned to Draco. "I think he has amnesia."

"So do I," Hermione agreed. "Harry what was the last thing you remember?"

"I-I came home from Hogwarts and Uncle Vernon threw me into my room. I started to

cry, remembering Sirius-," Harry started, but was cut off by Severus.

"Draco, didn't you say Harry was dreaming of Sirius?"

"Since when did you call me Harry?" Harry demanded quickly.

"Papa, don't yell at Uncle Sev," James said with a small smile, meaning for it to be a

joke.

"Who the hell is this kid?" Harry exclaimed, looking at James, whose eyes filled with

more tears.

"James," Draco shushed quickly, rushing forward to the small boy. He picked him up,

glaring at Harry. "How dare you yell out like that in front of your son?"

"Son?" Harry retorted. "I'm a virgin! I've never had sex to be able to have a frigging son!"

Draco glared at him again. "Don't say those sorts of things. He's only five years old. I

don't care if you have amnesia or not. You should know not to say those things in front

of a child."

"Harry," Hermione said softly. "Sirius died eleven years ago. You're twenty-six now.

You've been in a coma for three months. This is your son, James."

"This doesn't-I'm not married. And I know you can't be the mother, Hermione," Harry

said, his shock shown. Hermione, Ron and Draco each scoffed.

"I should hope not," Ron said shortly. "You can't even remember being my best man at

the wedding, can you?"

"You two are married?" Harry asked Hermione and Ron.

"Have been for seven years," Hermione said with a smile. "And there is no mother to

James."

"Only-," Ron stopped as Severus interfered.

"You two broke up," Severus said, looking at Draco, who paled.

"Alright," Harry said slowly. "What's this thing that's stabbing into me?" Harry looked at

the clasps around the bracelet.

"Don't touch it!" Draco said quickly, putting James down on the ground. "Don't take it

off."

"Why not, Malfoy?" Harry asked, his nimble fingers undoing one of the clasps.

"Harry! Please don't take off the bracelet."

"It's very important, Harry," Severus pressed. "You'll cause someone a lot of pain if you

remove it."

"They'll die," Hermione added.

"Since when does Malfoy call me Harry?" Harry asked, clipping the bracelet back up.

"Look, Harry," Hermione said softly. "You must be hungry. And I think Draco and

Severus have to talk in private. Lets get you reacquainted with James."

"That sounds like a good idea," Harry agreed. Hermione led the dark haired adult to the

dining table as Severus and Draco left the room.

"What was with you saying that Harry and I have broken up?" Draco asked loudly when

Severus had shut the door of the kitchen. "I would never-I love him."

"Draco, he hates you," Severus said, and he saw the flash of emotion go through Draco.

"I meant he hates who you were. Back when you two were fifteen, he hated you. When

you were sixteen, he hated you. He only started to consider you as a friend when you two

reached your seventh year, when you were seventeen. You still have a long way before he

loved you."

"So now you're saying I can't be with him anymore?" Draco asked. His breathing had

gotten hard. "I've already gone three months without him, Severus. I-I can't do that

again."

Harry started to shake his left arm quickly, jumping back from the seat.

"What's wrong Harry?" Ron asked.

"It's this bracelet thing," Harry said unclasping it. "It's on the fritz and it hurts."

"Don't take it off," James said demandingly. "I got hit because I tried to take it off you,

Papa." Harry nodded his head, once again clipping it back up.

"So who's the person who would feel all this pain?"

"You heard Snape. He doesn't want you finding out," Ron said, shrugging his shoulders.

"It'll be too much for you to take in straight away," Hermione pointed out. "He's right,

too. Geez, I can still remember the look of shock on our faces when we found out."

"Yeah, it was so surprising. We knew that you had a secret lover, we just didn't know

whom. And then you came out and told us, and we just were so shocked."

"So she's James' mother?" Harry asked, looking at his son.

"I don't have a mum," James said with a confused look. "I have a Papa and a Daddy, but

not a Mummy."

"P-Papa and Daddy?" Harry repeated.

James nodded his head. "Yep, and Daddy just left with Uncle Sev. I hope they come back

soon."

"What?" Harry asked loudly. He looked at the kitchen door. "Malfoy and I-?"

Draco sighed. Severus turned to him. "My dear little son has a big mouth."

Severus snickered lightly. "I guess we should have told him to keep it shut."

"I guess."

"I-I don't get it," Harry stuttered, looking at his two best friends. "He's the son of a

Death Eater. The last I remember of him, I was hexing him into looking like a slug or

something like that. He threatened to kill me the last time I saw him."

"Daddy isn't a Death Eater," James said. "Uncle Sev is, but he was good. No, Daddy was

on the Light side."

"You know about that sort of stuff?" Harry asked.

"Well, I overheard you and Daddy talking about it and decided to ask you about it."

"Geez you're smart for your age," Harry grumbled.

"Thank you, Papa."

The kitchen doors opened, and the two ex-Slytherins walked into the room. "Malfoy-,"

Harry was cut off short.

"Okay, I know our son is a little open, and that he's told you that I'm his dad, as are you.

Let's just get things out straight before you start pointing fingers," Draco sighed. "And

before you say that you won't, I've been living with you for the past nine years. I know

you. Now, we are madly in love, and incredibly gay. I know that you remember being a

fifteen-year-old, and I know they you were probably gay at that point of your life. I

renounced my father at the start of our sixth year. We became friends during our

seventh year. Then you got kicked out of your relative's house. I took you in. We fell in

love, told these morons, and then decided to bind."

"What the hell is that?" Harry asked. James placed his hands over his ears.

"No swearing," Draco snapped simply. "You see these bands on our wrists? They're

virtually wedding rings, only they have a deeper magic. There are large spikes that have

been drilled into our wrists, causing us bleed constantly. During the ritual, the spikes are

carefully opened and our bracelets are screwed together, letting us exchange blood.

Then a few spells are cast and the binds are released. If they're broken, one of us will be

in extraordinary pain. And then one of us is most likely to die. But other than that, we're

bound together forever. There's one way of breaking the bond without any pain, but I

won't tell you that because I know you'd never do that, just as I wouldn't. We can also

sense each other's thought, sensations and emotions."

"And what about James?"

"We were bound when we were twenty. He was born when we were twenty-one. You got

me pregnant." Harry looked as if he was going to say something. "And before you go

saying that that's impossible, I have to add that I'm a Veela, and male Veela can get

pregnant."

"So we're in love?"

"Yes."

"And we're bound together for life?"

"Yes."

"And we have a son together?"

"Remind me to kill whoever it was who called you stupid," Draco smirked. He looked at

his partner. "And to make things worse, I haven't been with you for three months and

you now have amnesia, forgetting everything that has happened to you."

"When you say 'been with'-?" Draco was still smirking as Harry blushed.

"We copulate quite frequently, Harry."

"Ew, Draco," Ron groaned. "We did not need to know that about our best friend."

"And I did not need to know that about my godson," Severus said, glaring at said

godson, Draco. "Do you two mind? It's bad enough having to see you two fawn over each

other so openly before the accident when you thought no one was around."

"Oh god," Harry moaned, looking at Draco. "We really are together."

Draco's eyes widened for a quick second, a hand on his bracelet. "So glad to know you're

so disgusted, love," he muttered. Harry jumped.

"What is that?" He was shaking his arm again, feeling his whole body tingle, but it

originated in his wrist. "Did you just call me love?" Draco suddenly had a pink tinge on

his usually pale features.

"Severus," Draco said softly, turning to his godfather. "Do you happen to know any

spells to restore someone's memory?"

"None that can restore a memory that wasn't purposely erased," Severus sighed.

"Okay, you guys," Hermione said. "We left our own little mob with Fred and George…"

"Mob?" Harry asked.

"They followed the Weasley tradition and have four little ones of their own already,"

Draco said.

"Four? Already?"

"Yeah," Hermione smiled. "It hurt like you can't imagine-."

"And is costing us twice as much," Ron added.

"But it's worth it. The first two are twins, and then there was the third, and the fourth

earlier this year," Hermione said. "Just get Draco pregnant again and you'll see. You'll

love it."

Both Harry and Draco started to blush. "Does this mean I'm going to get a younger sister

or brother?" James asked, making a noise for the first time in a while.

"Err," the noise left Harry speechless. This was the first time he had heard something

that wasn't intelligible come from Draco. "No, James. I don't think-,"

"You'll get one sooner or later, James," Harry spoke. Draco looked at him questioningly.

"You'll definitely be getting one, or maybe two if you're lucky."

"Yay!" James exclaimed, running over to Severus. "Did you hear that, Uncle Sev? I'm not

going to be an only child!"

"Harry?" Draco asked softly. "What-?"

"There is no way that I'm missing out on raising a child and remembering it," Harry said

in a way that made it final. Draco could only smile.

"Anyway, we'll be off," Hermione said, walking over to Harry, who was still sitting at the

table. He got to get up. "It's good to see you again, Harry," Hermione said as she hugged

the taller adult.

"Yeah, it's good to see you, too," Harry agreed, returning the hug. When Hermione

pulled back, Harry was surprised as Ron hugged him, too.

"Hope you get your memory back soon, mate," Ron said, breaking away from him.

"It was good seeing you," Hermione said to Severus, Draco and James, the older two

nodded their heads, as did Ron.

Draco dried his son's messy black hair as he tried to get it dry before James got into bed.

James was sitting next to Draco on the large bed that the five-year-old had. "Here,"

Draco said, having finished. "Now, have you kissed you papa goodnight?" The boy

nodded his head. "What about me?" James reached up to Draco and gave him a big hug.

When he pulled away, he planted a small, sloppy kiss on Draco's cheek. "Do you want to

get a drink or go to the toilet?"

"No," James said, crawling into his bed. "But-but can Papa please read me a story?"

"I'll go find him," Draco said, his voice weak. James' eyes widened.

"Daddy, wait-," the boy didn't get to finish as Draco left the room. "Daddy?"

Draco walked around the large manor, knowing exactly where to find Harry, due to the

bond they shared. But Harry found him before he could get anywhere near the room

Harry was originally in.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked quickly. "I-I sensed that you were very sad."

"I'm fine, Harry," Draco sighed, refusing to make eye contact. "Anyway, your son wants

you to read to him."

"Malfoy-."

"Go to him," Draco snapped. Harry suddenly felt exhausted before he realised that was

what Draco was feeling.

When Harry got into James' room, he sighed. James was looking through the large

bookshelf he had, looking for a book. "Papa!" James smiled upon seeing him.

"Have you chosen which book you want me to read?" Harry asked, looking at his son

lovingly. James nodded his head, grabbing a book and running back to bed. "Okay."

"Papa," James started before Harry could even open the book. "Did you see Daddy's

face?"

"No, why?"

"I think I did something wrong. He was upset."

"James," Harry sighed again, reaching out with one hand. He gently placed a few

strands of hair behind James' ear. "Your daddy is going through a really hard time at the

moment. So do you want me to read the book or not?"

"Please."

Harry found Draco lying on their bed on top of the covers in nothing but pyjama pants.

His back was turned to him, but Harry could sense what was happening. He could sense

every little tear trickle down Draco's face.

"Draco?" Harry asked, sitting down on the bed, next to him. Draco stiffened.

"Did you just call me Draco?" he asked carefully.

"Yes, I did," Harry admitted, putting his hand on Draco's hip. The blonde turned to him,

wiping away the tears. "I think I'm beginning to feel this love that you've told me so

much about." Draco let himself smile slightly. "And now I'm feeling a great amount of

happiness." Draco froze.

"You aren't feeling any love of your own," Draco said quietly. "You're only feeling what

I'm feeling. You can't separate them yet."

"But you can, what are you feeling from me?"

"Distrust. Worry. Love for your son. Uncertainty," Draco listed. "Nothing for me." He

couldn't hide it. Harry was swallowed by complete sadness. "I can't take this anymore,

Harry. It hurts too much. I'm exhausted. My son doesn't want me to be his father. He

only wants one father. And that's the one that can't remember him. I want to be held by

the only person who I am ever going to love, but he doesn't love me. I just want it to all

be over, Harry. I feel like our bond has been broken. I just can't take it anymore. I

already had to go three months without you, and now I have you, but I don't. I'm tired."

"Malfoy," Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. He could feel disappointment

run through him faster than a cheetah after its prey. "I don't love you-and I doubt I will,

even if I did at one point of my life-and I'm not going to pretend that I love you, either."

Harry numbly watched as twin tears trickled from Draco's eyes. "But I will try my

hardest to be a father. As James' father by blood, it is my responsibility."

"What about being my partner by blood?" the blonde asked, his voice weak. "We made a

blood bond. Therefore, you are my blood partner. What about your responsibility to me

as your lover?"

"You are no longer my…"

"I need to take a walk," Draco announced, getting off the bed. "I just need to-you have

the bed. I'll sleep in the guest room." With that, Draco brought a shaky hand up to his

cheeks, wiping away the moisture, before going to the closet to grab a robe. He slipped it

on, and rushed out of the room, not looking at Harry once.

--

It was late at night, when he finally reached where he was going. He knew about the

anti-Disapparating spells placed on the property he was standing outside of, so the next

best thing was walking there. He raised his hand, using the large snake knocker, to

knock on the door of the Malfoy manor. The doors slowly opened to reveal a small house

elf.

"Hello," Harry said shortly, "is Draco here?"

The house elf nodded her head, showing Harry in. The house elf led Harry around the

large manor, stopping once they reached a door.

"Master Malfoy is inside, sir," she said. "Please go in."

This time Harry nodded his head and opened the door, hearing the slight creak the old

wood made. He found a seventeen-year-old Draco sitting in an armchair, reading a thick

novel.

"Good evening, Master Malfoy," Harry mocked, grinning at the blonde boy.

"What are you doing here?" Draco asked, putting the book down after marking it with a

bookmark.

"Well, Uncle Vernon just kicked me out of his house," Harry explained. "And I was

wondering who..."

"If you could stay here. Of course, Harry."

Harry woke up, groaning as something landed on him. He slowly opened his eyes to see

James sitting on his chest. "Good morning, Papa!" James smiled, his green eyes shining

happily.

"Good morning to you, too, James," Harry returned, ruffling his son's hair.

"Papa, why is Daddy sleeping in the guest room?"

"We had a small fight," Harry sighed. James' eyes widened.

"No!" James exclaimed. "You two can't be fighting. You two love each other too much!

You've never fought before! Never, Papa! You can't fight. You just can't. I won't let you. I

won't let you two break up. You can't break up! It won't be fair on me. I don't want you

two to end up like Aunt Ginny and Dean! I don't want to be like Paul, and have to see

you one week, and Daddy the other."

"James," Harry looked at the door to see Draco standing, still in his pyjama bottoms and

robe. "Your papa and I can't get divorced, no matter how much he wants it. We mightn't

love each other, but we'll still be there for you." Tears shone in James' eyes again. "Don't

cry," Draco said quickly moving forward to his son. He sat on the edge of the bed,

bringing James into his lap, where he held him, rocking back and forth. "I will always

love your papa, James. Always. Just like I'll always love you."

"I wish we can go back in time and stop Papa from falling," James sobbed. Harry

watched the two silently.

"Me too," Draco sighed, looking at Harry. "I would die for that chance."

Shivers tingled through Harry's whole body, and he suddenly knew that that wasn't a lie.

"Malfoy-,"

"Anyway," Draco said, wiping the tears off James' face. "Let's go down to breakfast."

"Will Papa be coming?" James asked.

"I need to take a shower," Harry said softly.

"I'm not going until Papa goes," James declared stubbornly, wrestling his way out of

Draco's arms. Harry could once again feel that tinge of pain and sadness he had felt the

night before.

"Maybe you should-," Harry was cut off short as Draco got off the bed.

"I'll see you down there, then," Draco said weakly, and Harry could sense the pain and

sadness even stronger. Draco walked out the door faster than he had that night.

There was pure silence for a few moments. "Papa," James said quietly. "I think I did

something wrong again."

"No James," Harry sighed. "I did something wrong when I fell."

"Papa, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you love Daddy?"

Again, there was silence. Harry hung his head low. "No, I don't."

When the two finally came downstairs to the dining room, Harry wasn't surprised to

find that Draco had already finished his meal, and left. The plates for Harry and James

were on the table, covered with a see-through dome, which Harry figured were meant to

keep them warm.

"Papa, where's Daddy?" James asked carefully. "He always eats with us. Especially on

Monday mornings because I go off to school on Fridays, Mondays and Wednesdays."

"You go to school?" Harry asked, sitting down. He watched as James struggled to get on

his tampered chair, and then once he was ready, grabbed his spoon and simply poked

through the dome. He started to eat the cereal before him, which was dowsed with warm

milk.

"Yep! That's where I learnt my alphabet! I said them to you last night, but you were

sleeping. Daddy was sitting on the bed next to you. I saw him kiss you on the forehead.

Daddy loves you so much."

"What do you do at school?"

"We learn things. I can count to twenty and write my name, your name and Uncle Sev's

name. Only, I spelt it S.E.V because his real name is really long and tricky."

"Why haven't you learnt your daddy's name?" Harry asked.

"Hm? Oh-well-I never tried."

"Why not?"

"I don't like Daddy as much as I love you, Papa. If you two did break up and I had to

choose, I'd choose you real quickly," James explained with a big smile on his face. "I love

you, but I only like Daddy."

Harry suddenly felt as if his heart had been drenched in acid. He looked around for

Draco quickly, but couldn't see anything. He could then feel the tears running down his

face again.

"When do you have to go to school?" Harry asked quietly. He could still sense Draco's

pain.

"Daddy normally takes me. When the big clock goes 'dong' nine times, then we go to the

school by the fire."

"Could you get there without your daddy?"

"Of course. I'm a big boy," James smiled. "I can take care of myself."

It wasn't very long before James had to leave for school. That left Harry alone to search

for Draco, who was still in large amounts of pain.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked, searching the rooms around the area where he could sense

Draco. "Where are you?" He was standing in his room, with his hand on the doorhandle

of the bathroom. He could hear the water splashing from the large bath he knew was

there. "Malfoy, we need to talk."

"Then join me by all means," Draco called over the water. Blushing bright red, Harry

turned the doorhandle, and walked into the steam-filled room. It seemed as if Draco had

only just gotten into the bath, and that was what the splashing was. There was a nice

scent filling the room, and Harry figured it was something put into the bath to help

Draco relax, making the water fill with purple bubbles. The bath was the same size as

the one in the prefects' bathroom back at Hogwarts, and Draco sat against one edge, the

edge closest to Harry, with the water reaching to just above his hips.

"You did that to embarrass me, didn't you?" Harry asked, looking at his 'lover'.

"Actually, had it been three months ago, you would have quite literally joined me in

here," Draco picked up some of the bubbles to show Harry what he meant by it. "I feel

you're no longer disgusted by that. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Our son." Draco visibly pained. He sunk in his spot, moving down until his head leant

against the very edge of the bath, his chest lowering to the water level. Draco brought his

hands up to his face, covering it with both hands. Harry sat down on the ground so he

was next to Draco's head. "I know you heard what he said."

"I know." The blonde's voice was very soft. "I heard it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Draco sighed, turning his head to look at Harry. A small smile crossed his

face.

"What?" Harry asked with a small grin.

"I was just thinking."

"Don't over do it, Malfoy," Harry chuckled, flicking the blonde's forehead. Draco smiled

brightly, grabbing Harry's hand as he went to pull back. He pulled the dark haired boy

down with one hand, and when he was in reach, he reached back with his other hand,

grabbing the back of Harry's neck. Harry's eyes widened as he realised that Draco had

every intention of kissing him, and pulled out of the grasp.

"Crap," Draco gasped, releasing Harry completely. Harry moved away from Draco

quickly, leaving the blonde to groan. "I didn't mean that. I-I couldn't help it. It's just

been so long." Draco looked down, and swiftly moved through the water to the other

side of the bath.

"Malfoy, I thought we had to talk."

"I don't want to," Draco said, his eyes resting on the water in front of him.

"Malfoy-," Draco splashed water straight to Harry, barely making it, but managing to get

a few droplets into Harry's hair.

"Don't call me that. That isn't my surname anymore. It's Malfoy-Potter now," Draco

snapped. Harry's eyes widened. "Yes, I took your last name. You asked me to. Now,

please don't rub salt in my wounds by calling me 'Malfoy'. I renounced my father, like I

told you."

"Look, I don't know what to call you now, but I'm not trying to hurt you by calling you

that. It's just habit by now," Harry explained. "And I know you don't need to be in any

more pain. I feel it all the time. I won't ever love you like you love me. Our son just

admitted that he didn't love you like he loves me. I know you're going through hell. I'm

constantly feeling it. And I wish that I could get our memories back so we didn't have to

be like this, so you don't have to suffer, but I'm a teenager in the body of an adult, and

nothing you do or say can make me love you like that adult can."

Draco inclined his head again. "Is that all?"

"What?"

"I came here to relax. Is that all?" Draco repeated. Harry nodded his head and turned

away from the bath. "Wait, Harry," Draco said quickly, just as Harry reached the door.

"I'm sorry about trying to kiss you. Normally, you would have let me do whatever I

wanted to. I guess I just have to get used to everything. And, I saw your dreams last

night, too. That was a memory of you getting kicked out of your relatives' house. It was

the first day you stayed here."

"You know so much about me compared to how much I remember," Harry sighed.

"Yes, I can enter your memories whenever I like." Draco closed his eyes and Harry could

feel a slight tingling through his head. He jumped as images of Hermione in a beautiful

white dress filled him. "We both just witnessed your memories of Hermione and Ron

getting married. I can show you what I think and what I picture."

"Then show me more," Harry demanded quickly, sitting back down by the edge of the

bath. "Show me more."

"Like?"

"Like James' birth, or us binding, or some form of milestone. I mean, is Voldemort even

dead?"

"Voldemort is dead, with the sacrifice of Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Percy

Weasley and Lucius Malfoy." Harry's eyes widened at the news.

"They're all dead?" he asked softly. "All of them?"

"Yes. Voldemort killed Albus; my father and other Death Eaters killed Minerva and

Percy, and you killed my father and Voldemort. Do you wish to see it?"

"No," Harry said sternly. "I can remember that. It's coming back. I was seventeen, and it

was the last day of school."

"That it was," Draco said. "And now it's a worldwide day called 'Freedom Day'."

"Why do I feel like there's something else to Freedom Day?"

"I gave birth to James on the fourth annual Freedom Day, that's why."

"I'd say that was important," Harry smirked. "Would you mind putting those memories

back into me?" Draco looked away, his eyes focusing on everything that wasn't Harry.

"Well?"

"No."

Harry frowned at the answer. "Why not?"

"Because, it's too traumatising. I don't want to relive it."

"What do you mean by that?" Draco returned his gaze to Harry, only now he was

glaring.

"I'm a male. That means I have a really shit excuse of a womb. It's more of wherever the

foetus will fit; it'll go, even if it isn't in any protective covering. They had to cut James

out of me and when he was finally out, after basically dissecting me, they found that

James, after spending nine months inside me, was no bigger than the palm of your

hand. He wasn't breathing, either. He was practically blue."

"James nearly died?" Harry asked.

"As did I," Draco's voice was weak. "Both of us were in intensive care for months, and

you," Draco looked at Harry. "You refused to leave the hospital until you knew we were

alive and healthy."

"I did?"

"You are-were-a very loving father and partner," Draco said. Harry could feel the

sadness rush over him again.

"Don't be like that," Harry said softly. He walked around the bath to the blonde, who

had sunk down chest-deep into the water again. He knelt down beside him. "Don't feel

so bad."

"Why the hell shouldn't I?" Draco asked, looking at Harry, glaring once more. Harry

didn't break the glance, nor return the glare.

"I don't know. Nothing has worked out for you, has it?" Harry didn't know quite why he

was doing it, but he leant down to Draco's head, and began to gently run his finger

through Draco's silky blonde hair. The smaller sighed, but gasped as Harry bent to him,

kissing him very lightly on the forehead. Harry had his arms wrapped around Draco's

chest, allowing Draco to return the 'embrace'.

"Harry," the blonde sighed, turning his head to bury his face in the crook of Harry's

neck. "I love you."

The tingling in his mind returned, and Harry gasped as images filled his head. Draco

going into surgery. A small, bluish-red being. Both those who he loved having to be

resuscitated. They all swarmed him. Soon, Harry was seeping out his own tears as the

pain he felt back then rushed to him, helping him remember.

"Oh gods, Draco," Harry groaned, his head and heart very heavy. "Why did you do that?"

"You deserve to know," Draco whispered, leaning back into Harry's chest. "You wanted

to know some of your milestones." The blonde contently smiled, turning his head back

into the crook of Harry's neck again. "I miss you."

"Are you getting mushie on me, Mr. Malfoy-Potter?" Harry chuckled into Draco's hair.

He could feel the smaller of the two smile against his neck.

"I should get out of here before I get wrinkly," Draco laughed lightly. "But I don't want to

let you go."

"Now you are being mushie. And who says I don't like them wrinkly?" Harry teased.

Draco looked up at him, still smiling. "That would explain that little fling you had with

much-older-Charlie-Weasley," Draco smirked. Harry turned red.

"I-I-."

"Charlie Weasley was your first boyfriend. It was more like a fling as I said before, but

no one except you, Charlie and I know about it. As far as everyone else is concerned,

Oliver Wood was your first."

"Me and Oliver Wood?" Harry gasped. "Oh, I did not expect that."

"He was recruiting Quidditch players. And well, according to the two of you, showering

was fun." Harry's face got redder and redder as Draco talked. "But then, you 'coupled'

with a few more guys until you ended up with me."

"Please do not tell me I was your first."

"You weren't," Draco said. Harry could feel something bubble up inside him. He couldn't

tell what it was. It seemed similar to what he felt when Cedric beat him to Cho. A smirk

broke out on Draco's face. "You're jealous."

"What?" Harry asked, watching as Draco turned around to face Harry. Harry blushed

again as he saw how low the water was on Draco.

"You're jealous. I can sense it. You are jealous."

"No, I'm not," Harry argued. "I can't be jealous."

"But you are," Draco insisted. "Have you forgotten about our bond? I can sense these

things about you. You got jealous because I'm talking about my ex."

"Singular?" Harry asked.

"Well, in our sixth year, I came out and started dating Blaise Zabini. Everyone knew

about it. But we broke up in our seventh year when I started to become your friend. He

was okay with it at first, but then you came out, too, and we flirted with each other

constantly for fun. You see, Blaise was bi, and was always checking out girls. We were

the only open gays at Hogwarts, so we played it."

"And Blaise got mad and broke up with you." Draco nodded his head, standing up.

Harry blushed and looked away as he soon found himself facing a naked Draco. "Did

you have to?"

"It's not like you haven't seen me naked before," Draco said grumpily.

"But I don't remember it, Mal-moron," Harry groaned. Draco merely shrugged his

shoulders before getting himself a towel. Wrapping it around his waist, the blonde

pulled the plug out of the bath.

"You can look now," Draco said, but stopped thoughtfully. "But you could have looked

before if you really wanted to, but, you know."

"Well I didn't want to."

"Past tense?"

"And still don't want to."

"Your loss," Draco sighed with a smirk.

"I can go without it," Harry returned. He took in a deep breath as he felt the surge of

emotion going through him. "I didn't mean that."

"Of course not," Draco said dryly. "Anyway, I think we should get you into a hospital.

Just to get you checked out and everything. Hermione should have done it yesterday,

but she's still a trainee and isn't too sure yet."

"Hermione's a Mediwitch?"

"Just a trainee," said Draco, moving to get out of the bathroom. He grabbed another

towel on the way out.

"Since when did you start to call Hermione and Ron by their first names?" Harry

questioned. "I've been meaning to ask for a while now."

"Well, we became friends, but they weren't too big on it. During the 'Final Fight', as it's

now called, I threw myself in the line of fire to protect Hermione. I just about died until

Ron got a Mediwitch for me. It was then that Hermione decided that that was what she

wanted to be."

"Now who's the hero?" Harry asked. Draco raised an eyebrow as he sat down on the

large bed.

"Come here," Draco said, his hand reaching out to Harry. Harry looked at him

questioningly. "Just come here."

Harry found himself moving towards Draco, who was now smirking. When Harry sat

down on the bed, Draco got off, straddling Harry's lap. Harry blushed.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked, his whole body becoming very rigid.

"I just need to do this," Draco whispered, leaning in closer. Harry leant away.

"Hey…" Harry argued, his hands on Draco's bare chest as he lightly tried to push him

off.

"Please, Harry," the blonde said softly. "Just one kiss…"

"No," Harry said sternly, standing up, a movement which forced Draco off him. The ex-

Slytherin rolled onto the bed, out of Harry's way.

"Why the hell not?" Draco demanded. "Ever since you've woken up, I've tried to do

everything that'll help you and comfort you. Everyone seems to forget the fact that I

have been without you for three months. Three months, Harry. Do you know how hard

that is? Do you know how hard sleeping alone is? How hard tending to a five-year-old

son who hates me is?"

"Mal…"

"Don't you dare," Draco snapped, his eyes burning like fire. "Everything has been about

you for the past three months. No one has even tried to consider what hell I've been

going through. No one. Not even my own son. Not Severus. No one. And now, you are

awake, only you have amnesia. You don't remember what we were like. You don't

remember that we loved each other. I can't take it anymore."

"Draco, I don't know what you've been going through, but I'm not going to go against

what I want. I don't want to love you like I used to. I don't want to have amnesia, either,

but I definitely do not want to love you." Draco's eyes blurred over with tears. Harry

knew then that he had been pushed. The Draco Malfoy he remembered never cried like

this.

"Why don't you check yourself into Saint Mungos?" Draco suggested, grabbing a shirt

off the bed. He slipped into it before stepping into some boxer shorts and pants. "I

can't…" Draco shivered. "I won't put up with this anymore. I'll go off to Diagon Alley or

somewhere like that for the day." Harry felt like killing himself all of a sudden. His eyes

widened as Draco removed the towel from around his waist, just dumping it, and then

walking past him. "You'll have to pick up James; I don't think I'll be able to do it tonight.

You have to go to his school at a quarter past three, and then bring him out."

"Don't go and do something stupid," Harry warned.

"What do you call stupid?" Draco asked, pausing, though he didn't turn around.

"Killing yourself."

"Just because I think it doesn't mean that I'm going to do it. I still have to live my

unhappy life taking care of James and yourself. I won't have that pleasure of killing

myself."

"Don't joke about it," Harry demanded.

"Why should I follow your orders, Harry?" Draco asked, turning around. "All I wanted

was one small kiss. One! I just wanted to fill this huge gap inside me." The blonde man

took in a deep breath, calming himself down.

"I can't help you with that one."

"No, no one will want to help me, anyway. I'm only liked, after all. The whole world

revolves around you, though, doesn't it, Mister Harry Potter? Who cares if the people

around you are miserable? You're happy. That's all that counts. Your relatives gave you a

crappy child life, but now you're an adult and can see what joys in life you can find,"

Draco snapped. "I know that they never loved you, that they hated you, but my life

wasn't all that good either. At least now you get your happiness. It's a lot easier to tell

your son that his grandmother isn't there because she died protecting you because she

loved you. It's harder to say that she killed herself because she lost the only true thing

that she loved when her husband was killed. You weren't the only orphan at Hogwarts,

Harry. The day after the first ever Freedom Day, my mother committed suicide because

the only thing she loved was taken from her. Imagine my pain when I was the one to

find her surrounded by her own blood with a note saying that there was nothing left in

the world for her to love. Imagine me, her own son reading that very note. Reading that

she didn't love me at all. Can you imagine that feeling?"

"I can't, and even if I could, I don't want to," Harry said softly.

"Oh, that's right. You can't imagine it because you don't know love at this point of your

life, do you? Well, I suppose I didn't know much about it, either. It stung, reading that. I

still have the note. I will never be complete. Lucius was the only thing I loved in this

world; the only thing I held dear to me. Now I have nothing. Nothing will ever make me

happy. It is not a world worth living. That's what the note said. In her will, the only

person who was in it was my father. My life has been no better than yours. In fact, I

think yours might be better. At least you know that your parents, and your son, and the

one person bound to you for forever loves you."

"Stop being so pitiful," Harry snapped. "Geez, it's like you said, not even my relatives

could love me, so why do you love me so much?"

"I don't know, Harry!" Draco exclaimed, almost reaching hysterical. "I don't know. I just

do. I just want to be near you always, I want to be holding you; I want to have another

child with you, even if that means actually dying this time. I just want you."

"You want me? That's not love."

"What do you know?" Draco asked, his voice soft again. "You've never actually loved

anyone that you could remember. I can't explain it to you, Harry, but I know what I feel.

I have to go now."

"Draco," Harry started, "Don't do anything stupid. I swear, if you don't come back from

wherever you are going," Harry took a step closer to Draco until he was close enough to

cup the blonde's cheek. Draco almost instantly leant into the touch. "If you don't come

back, I swear I will not be happy, and if you're dead, I will find you in heaven or hell, no

matter which one you went to and demand that you come back. Okay?"

The blonde nodded his head quickly, before turning away and walking out of the room.

Draco sighed, resting a hand on his stomach, to his left. He had a long scar running

down his right side, however, and he knew he shouldn't have lied to Harry as to how

James was born, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

But now, only half an hour since he had heard the voice, Draco couldn't help but feel like

he was going to die in half a month's time.

'So, what do you want to be called?' Draco thought, feeling a small stir underneath his

hand. 'Are you female? You feel much different to how a boy felt.'

'I'm a girl,' a voice answered. Draco smiled softly. 'And I wouldn't mind being called

Cissa. I know that's the name of your mother-my grandmother.'

'Yes, your grandmother,' Draco sighed.

He was sitting on a bench in a park. He remembered that this was the park where he,

Harry, Hermione, Ron, and their twins, Cody, the boy, and Rani, the girl, had an outing.

He could clearly remember watching Hermione and Ron playing with their children,

and then looking over to Harry with sad eyes as if asking as if they could ever create a

family. Harry had given him a warm smile in return and held him.

The second time Draco was there, Hermione had prepared a picnic for the four adults,

leaving her twin children with Fred and George, who had yet to start their own families,

but that wasn't the important part of the day.

"Hermione," Draco had started, looking at Hermione with scared eyes. Hermione was

the only one who truly saw it, however. "Would I be able to speak to you in private?"

Hermione had nodded her head and moved to stand. Draco followed, but was stopped

as he felt Harry grab his hand.

"Are you alright, love?" Harry asked softly. Draco nodded his head, and pulled Harry's

hand to his lips, placing a very gentle kiss to the back of it. This caused a small smile to

form on Harry's face, making Draco half return the expression.

The two moved towards a bench and sat down. Their backs were facing Harry and Ron,

who were talking about quidditch.

"What has you so scared, Draco?" Hermione asked, watching as Draco pulled his legs up

to his chest.

"How-how did you tell Ron that you were-were-," he whispered the next word,

"pregnant."

"What?" Hermione questioned, almost hissing it out in shock. "What's going on?"

"Surely you know that I'm part Veela," Draco said softly, "well, males can-,"

"Get pregnant," Hermione gasped. "You're having a child?"

Draco nodded his head before he burst out into tears, mentally blocking Harry out of his

feelings.

This, naturally, got Harry to look over at the blonde.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked, noticing Harry had paused in the middle of a sentence.

"Draco's cut me from his mind. Something's wrong," Harry said with worry.

"It'll be fine. He's done it lots of times before, hasn't he?" Ron enquired. Harry nodded

his head reluctantly, and turned back to Ron.

Hermione reached out and rubbed Draco's back. "I used to cry a lot when I was

pregnant. It has a lot to do with hormones," she admitted. The blonde shook his head. "I

don't see what the problem is." Draco's tears stopped as he looked up at her.

"There have only been five known male Veela pregnancies, and none of them have

turned out too well," Draco said, sniffling every now and then. "In three cases, the

carrier, that's what pregnant Veelas are known as, and the foetus have died instantly. In

the fourth, the carrier survived, and the last, the foetus survived while the carrier died.

And then the baby died four days later." Hermione watched in shock as Draco turned his

water-logged silver eyes to her. "I'm so scared."

"Okay," Hermione swallowed deeply before she started to talk again. "How do these

pregnancies work? Do you have a womb?"

Draco shook his head, tears flinging off his face as he did so. "The foetus just goes

anywhere. A-and you know how Veela look like, right?" Hermione nodded her head.

"Well, the foetus will be born in that form, no matter how human they really are. So, I've

got a small boy inside me with sharp wings, claws and fangs." Hermione's eyes widened.

"When they decide that it's their time to come out, they use their claws to scratch

themselves out."

"Oh my god," Hermione gasped. "What do you mean by that?"

Draco held up a hand, and then started to make a scratching movement with his index

finger. "The foetus will only use one claw, literally digging its way out of whatever layers

are in the way of the skin. For all I know, James could be behind my stomach, and he'll

have to dig through that to get out."

"James?" Hermione asked.

"I can talk to him," Draco told her. "That's how I learnt I was pregnant. I heard him. He

was talking through his mind, into mine. See, Veela foetus have to talk to their carriers

so that they can decide if they'll be good parents or not. If they decide they'll be good

parents, then they'll allow them to stay alive."

"Really?" Hermione questioned with amazement. "So, he told you he wanted to be called

James."

"Yeah," Draco laughed lightly. "He raided my memories and learnt that was the name of

his late grandfather, and told me that he wouldn't let me live unless he got James as his

name."

Hermione 'awed' at the statement. "So what are you so scared about? I'm sure you'll be a

fantastic parent. You just need James to know that. How far along are you?" Draco

blushed, turning away. "Well? How old is he?"

"Eight and a half months," Draco said softly. Hermione let out a small shriek, and placed

her hand on Draco's flat stomach as if expecting to feel James kick.

"And you look that good?"

"Note why I didn't want to tell you," Draco said, looking down at his stomach. There

wasn't even a small bulge. "He'll be about the size of my hand span. I've read as much as

I can."

"When are you gong to tell Harry? Surely you'll have to give birth soon; how much

longer?"

"About a week," Draco admitted bashfully. Hermione's mouth dropped open as she

grabbed Draco's hand.

"We are going to tell your husband right this moment," she announced, and dragged

Draco to Harry. Forcing him to sit down, Hermione glared at Draco, who was too

shocked to say anything.

Harry looked at Draco, noticing his eyes were red.

"Dragon," Harry gasped and moved to cup his cheek with his hands. "You were crying?

That's why you blocked me? What's wrong?"

"Harry," Draco said very softly, pulling Harry's hands away from him. Harry furrowed

his brows questioningly. "You know that I'm a Veela, right?"

"Of course," Harry said, reaching to hold Draco's hand.

"We-well, there's something that separates male Veelas from ordinary males," Draco

said slowly. Harry nodded his head. "A-and that's the fact that they can reproduce."

Harry let out a small chuckle. "All males ca-," Harry paused, his eyes wide. He suddenly

rushed forward, dropping Draco's hand to rest his own on Draco's stomach. He gasped

as he felt a small jolt rush to his hand.

"He's responding to you," Draco said quietly.

"H-he?" Draco nodded his head.

"I can talk to him through my mind," the blonde whispered. It seemed like the only

thing to do. "And he asked to be named James, after his grandfather."

"How long have you known?" Harry asked. He was still receiving the jolts from James.

"Since last night."

"When-how long do you have left?"

"A week," Draco said as bashfully as he had told Hermione. Harry's eyes had widened

impossibly as he looked up at Draco's face. Beforehand, they had been resting on

Draco's stomach as if he could see the small life building there.

Ron let out a small snort of laughter, and Hermione hit him to shut him up.

"A week? We have to build a-a nursery and everything within a week?" Harry turned to

Ron and Hermione. "Sorry, we have to go."

"I understand, Harry," Hermione smiled.

"The food was great, by the way," Draco added. "And thank you very much for helping

me."

"You're welcome," Hermione sighed.

Draco closed his eyes as he remembered that. 'What am I to call you?' Cissa asked very

softly.

'Daddy,' Draco answered, feeling a tear trickle down his cheek. 'You're not going to let

me live, are you? There's no way that I could be a proper parent at the moment. I'm too

scared and I don't want to live. I'm in a lot of pain at the moment. Your papa won't even

remember you being created. S-so if you aren't going to survive, can you please take me

with you?'

'Daddy,' Cissa tried. 'I think you'll make an excellent parent. Just look at how my big

brother is coping with everything that's happening. He's just happy that he's got his-our-

Papa back. Why can't you be happy, too?'

Draco sighed again, his hand rubbing his belly. He could lightly hear Cissa giggling.

'Does that tickle, little one?' Draco asked with a laugh of his own.

'Yes, it does, Daddy,' Cissa giggled.

--

Harry looked at his son as he spotted him in the classroom. He felt out of place, being

the only man in the room. The other parents were all mothers.

"Papa!" James called out as he grabbed his bag and ran over to him. Grabbing his waist,

James hugged him.

That was when Harry noticed the teacher coming towards him.

"Good evening, Mister Potter," she said with a large smile. Her voice was sugary, just

like Dolores Umbrige and that almost made Harry shiver. "Little James has been so

excited about you waking. He couldn't stop telling everyone."

"I haven't been able to pry him off me," Harry admitted, motioning towards his legs,

where James was attached. The teacher laughed lightly.

"James also tells me that you've forgotten eleven years," her voice was pitying.

"Yes, I have," Harry sighed.

"It's causing some problems at home, has it?"

"Yeah, I think my husband is this far away from walking out on James and me," Harry

said, pinching his forefinger and thumb about one centimetre apart. "He's an absolute

wreck at them moment. Eleven years ago I was fifteen and the last I remember of him

wasn't one of my best memories. I feel awful that I don't love him when he's so

dedicated to me."

"You don't love him?" the teacher gasped. Harry shook his head. "Oh my goodness, he

has to be going through hell."

"He told me he wanted to kill himself," Harry said gravely. He felt James' grip falter.

"No," James gasped. "No, Daddy can't. I-no!" James was shaking his head. "No! Daddy

can't! Daddy can't leave like you did. Only, he won't be sleeping and won't wake up! He'll

be gone like grandpa and grandma and grandfather and grandmother! A-and like Paul's

uncle!"

Harry bent down to his son and gathered him up in his arms, picking him up and

holding him close to his hip. James buried his head in Harry's neck and sobbed.

"The last thing I remember of him, I was calling him by his last name, and he was trying

to come up with as many plans as possible to kill me off. Unless I get my memories back,

I don't think I'll ever love him like I used to," Harry admitted softly. He felt James' arms

wrap around his neck tighter. "Anyway, I need to get this one back home."

"Okay."

When Draco arrived home, some hours later, he found himself Apparating to the dining

room, where two hungry members of his family were sitting, groaning about the noises

their stomachs were making.

There was a rumble from Harry. "That's my seventeenth," he told James, not noticing

Draco.

"You're beating me by four, Papa," James grumbled, but then his stomach made another

entry into the 'competition'. "No, now by three."

Draco let out a small laugh, looking at the bags he was holding, each holding something

that would go into that night's dinner.

The two looked up at him and smiled.

"Are you two hungry?" Draco asked, taking their nodding heads as affirmative answers.

"I've already had dinner, so what are you going to eat?" He walked to the attached

kitchen and started to put the food away.

"But you always make dinner, Daddy," James argued, getting up and rushing over to his

dad.

"Well, I thought it was time that your papa learnt how to make something."

"Me? I'm only fifteen," Harry grumbled. Draco sent him a glare.

"No you're not," he snapped. "You're a responsible twenty-six year-old man." He started

to pull things out of the bag harder than what he really needed before he cringed, his

hand grasping his stomach quickly.

"Are you alright, Daddy?" James asked within a heartbeat. Draco removed his hand,

ignoring his son.

"Draco, don't ignore him for what I've done," Harry said sternly. "You made him cry

earlier-,"

"Oh!" Draco growled, turning around to Harry. "I made him cry? Did you feel what I felt

when he stated that he only liked me? Did you feel me cry? Did you see me cry last night

when you told me that you'll never love me ever again? Did you see me cry all those

nights you were unconscious? No, of course not."

"Daddy," James started, but was cut off when Draco slammed something down on the

bench. It was a paper back with a print of 'Pembroke's Pies'.

"There's your bloody dinner," Draco snapped and left. James soon had tears running

down his cheeks yet again.

"Daddy swore at me," he sobbed. "Daddy never-I don't like this Daddy. I like the Daddy

who loved me."

Draco, who had heard, paused, before he groaned and clutched his stomach again. The

pain that Cissa was sending him for being awful to his son soon had him on his knees,

groaning loudly.

Harry, on the other hand, flinched with an audible gasp, feeling intense pain coming

from his stomach. He then noted that it wasn't his pain.

"Draco?" he asked and walked around the corner to see Draco. By that time, Draco was

muttering things under his breath.

"I'm sorry Cissa," he whispered, though Harry couldn't understand it. It sounded like he

was talking in a different language. "I'm so sorry. I love him, I really do. But please, if

you're going to kill me, let it be painless. I've been living in too much pain. Please."

Draco let out a loud cry as the pain got stronger. Harry dropped to his knees, and Draco

looked up at the noise. He saw Harry clenching his abdomen like he was, and cut him off

from the bond physically.

Feeling the pain leave him, Harry looked at Draco and moved to him quickly. "Draco,

are you alright?" He held Draco's head in his hands, and placed the back of his hand to

Draco's forehead, where sweat had started to prickle. He felt the blonde burn up.

"Draco? Answer me."

"I'll be fine," Draco breathed out, ignoring the pain as best he could. "I must have eaten

something wrong."

"Maybe I should get Hermione for-,"

"No!" Draco objected immediately. He tried to stand up, but faltered. He found himself

being caught by Harry. "I don't need her, and besides, she'll be too busy with little Cleo.

Don't bother her about a little stomach ache. Now, let me go before I try to kiss you

again."

Harry furrowed his brows like he had when Draco told him about his pregnancy with

James. "I can feel that you're lying to me," he stated.

"Fine, I'm lying," Draco admitted. "I, it's none of your business anyway."

Harry rested his hand on Draco's forehead again. It wasn't getting any cooler. "You're

burning up."

"I'll be fine," Draco lied, only this time, he blocked Harry emotionally. Harry sighed,

looking at the blonde in his arms.

"I was so relieved to see you alive," Harry admitted and hugged Draco tight to him.

"I wouldn't know," Draco sighed, returning the embrace. "You've cut me out from your

side completely."

"I didn't notice I was doing it. Sorry."

"It's really weird. You've never cut me off for longer than five minutes. Now, we're

reaching the twenty-four hour mark."

"Sorry," Harry repeated. "How's your stomach ache now?"

"It's gone," Draco said. Clearly, Cissa was happier. "I think I should just go to bed."

Draco found himself staring at Harry and stepped out of the taller man's embrace.

"It's only seven o'clock," Harry argued with a chuckle.

"I know, but I'm afraid I'll snip at James again. I love him so much. Being grouchy to

him really hurts me and being around you just about kills me, so I have to leave the area.

Goodnight, and please tell James the same and that I'm very sorry for yelling at him."

Draco just about ran up the stairs towards the main bedroom. Harry sighed as he saw

his 'lover' walk back out, holding what seemed to be fresh clothes.

As much as he wanted to deny it, being apart from Draco was hurting him, too. The

bond made his heart and body ache to be near Draco.

That night he found it hard to sleep due to the simple fact that the other side of the bed

was completely empty, or that Draco wasn't embracing him.

Harry sat up in bed and looked around the room. There had to be something of Draco's

that he could just place on the empty pillow or something. The thing was, he didn't know

what was his, and what was Draco's. Groaning, Harry flipped onto his stomach and

reached out for what had to be Draco's pillow. He held it close to him, but only grunted

as he realised that it did nothing to sate his absolute need for the blonde.

Harry got out of bed, finally giving in and searched for Draco.

When he found him, he was cruelly happy to discover that he wasn't the only one who

wasn't sleeping. Draco was sitting up in bed, reading. There was a soft glow from

somewhere in the room.

Harry knocked on the open door once, gaining Draco's attention. The blonde looked up

at him.

"Get out of here if you're not going to cover that chest up," Draco demanded. "There's no

way that I'm not going molest you when you invite me like that."

"Can I borrow a robe then?" Harry asked, indicating the robe on the end of Draco's bed.

Draco sighed and tapped his page with his finger once. A marker was placed and Draco

closed the book. Harry grabbed the robe and put it on and sat at the end of the bed.

"So what did you want?"

"I can't sleep."

"Then go make yourself some herbal tea," Draco suggested.

"I can't sleep because you're not there with me," Harry specified. Draco's cold eyes

glared at him.

"You don't walk in here when you come to the conclusion that you can't sleep without

me, Harry Potter. You see, that's a gap that you want to be filled, isn't it? A gap much

like that gap I needed filled when I asked you for one kiss."

"I'm sorry."

"Apologising can't fix everything, Harry."

Harry looked down. He knew he had screwed up there. He should have just let Draco do

that. He would have done anything to get Cho to kiss him when he liked her, and that

was only a little crush. Draco was in love with him and he denied everything that he

wanted.

"What if I let you kiss me whenever you feel like it?" Harry suggested, and was caught

off guard as Draco threw the book he was reading at him. Harry barely dodged it, still

fast from his quidditch games.

"Get the hell away from me," Draco spat. His eyes were colder than before. "Don't you

dare even think of asking anything of me ever again. Or just don't talk to me. That would

be better." Harry paused. He didn't expect this. He felt like something had speared him

through the heart and knew that it wasn't Draco's pain. It was his own. "But before you

go," Draco reached over to a bedside table and grabbed a piece of parchment. He tossed

it to Harry, who by the time he had finished reading it, was shaking.

"You're legally breaking the bond?" Harry asked once he had found his voice.

"Well you don't love me," Draco scoffed. "We can't break it completely, but I guess now

you can call me 'Malfoy' again. I'm just plain Draco Lucius Malfoy, and if you want to

leave me, then I'll gladly give you the house, even though it is signed to me, and I'll give

you custody over James. I won't even argue for visitation rights, either. He'll be all yours

and you won't have to worry about me anymore. Hell, you'll be able to look up Cho

Chang and marry her. I won't mind."

"How can you say that?" Harry asked.

"I want you to be happy, Potter," Draco told him simply and summoned his book back to

him. "Now, please leave the room."

"What about your happiness?"

"No one really cares what I want-you'll soon learn that."

"I-I told James' teacher about you wanting to kill yourself. James overheard-,"

"Are you stupid?" Draco exclaimed. "Bloody hell, Potter! Are you trying to scar your son

for life?"

"Our," Harry stated.

"What?" Draco questioned, completely confused.

"You said that James was only my son. And no, I'm not trying to scar him. But that was

when he cried. He said that you couldn't die. He cried that you couldn't leave. When you

swore at him, he cried again, and said that he didn't like this side of you. He said he

liked you when you loved him," Harry explained.

Draco showed that pain. "Ouch, my son can hurt me," he grumbled. "That one struck

deep. I promised him that no matter how much you and I fought that we would still love

him. It hurts to think that he doesn't believe that I love him. I could never not love him.

He's all that I'm living for at the moment."

"And yet you'd give him to me without visitation rights?" Harry exploded. "He's your

son, Draco. And what does a five-year-old know about love? Really? He's suffering from

what happened to me as much as you are. He really thinks that you don't love him."

"I will always love my son, like I will always love you, Harry," Draco said softly. "It's just-

I'm not going to be around for much longer, and I won't be able to take it if James is

around-,"

"What?" Harry exclaimed quickly. "What do you mean? You're not going to be around

for much longer? Draco?" Harry walked up to Draco and sat down so that they were

right next to each other. "What's going on?"

"I can't tell you," Draco said. "I just can't. If you find out then you'll want to help, but I

want this to happen. I need it to happen and if it doesn't, then I don't know what I'll do."

Harry reached out and held Draco's hand in his own. Draco couldn't hold back the slight

whimper that came from him and returned the pressure, biting down on his lower lip.

"Please tell me," Harry pleaded. "Please. Draco, somewhere, I really need to know."

"You'll find out in a week. I promise."

It had been four days since that night. The situation between Harry and Draco hadn't

improved, and James and Draco's relationship got even worse. By dinner time, that

Friday night, Draco had noticed that James hadn't spoken a word to him.

Draco had also found himself spending more and more time talking to Cissa during the

day, sitting on one of the many balconies the Malfoy Manor had, with his hand on the

left side of his stomach.

Harry had spent the time looking for ways of reversing what had happened to him. Since

Monday night, Draco hadn't let Harry anywhere near him, and was always alone. Harry

also had the support from Severus, who was currently the Headmaster at Hogwarts

School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, who was looking up as many resources he could. It

just seemed strange to the two that Draco wasn't helping out at all. Even Hermione and

Ron had seen what they could do.

Harry soon discovered that he had only covered half of the Malfoy library searching for

an answer. All that he found were different ways of achieving what he already had.

But now, as he poured himself some coffee-it had taken him a while to get used to the

large kitchen, but he managed-Harry looked out to the balcony that was connected to

the dining room, which was connected to the kitchen, and saw Draco sitting on an

armchair, watching the sunset. Grabbing the cup of tea that he had also made for Draco,

Harry left the confines of the kitchen and walked outside to where Draco was sitting.

"Good evening," Harry said, stopping the silence Draco was enjoying. He handing him

the tea, of which Draco was very thankful for.

"How far along is dinner?" Draco asked absently. Harry paused in mid-sip.

"What? You normally cook it," Harry argued. Draco turned to look at him with narrowed

eyes.

"No, I do believe you promised me that you would make it," Draco snapped. "I broke

that pot and you said that I needed time off."

Remembering, Harry flinched. "Oh, gods, Draco, I'm sorry," Harry groaned and rushed

back inside.

"Don't bother," Draco demanded, leaning back in the seat. He rubbed his hand on his

stomach back and forth once, fighting back the grin he normally got when he heard

Cissa giggle, and got up. Leaving his tea out on a table, he strode back into the kitchen

where he found his money pouch.

Sighing, Draco grabbed it.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked Draco.

"I have to get something for dinner."

"No, I'll cook up something," Harry objected. He rushed around the kitchen, looking for

some food.

"We have no fresh meat or vegetables. We don't have rice or noodles, so you can't 'cook

up something'. I'll just Apparate somewhere and get something pre-cooked," Draco

sighed.

"No." Harry grabbed for Draco and held his hand that had the money pouch. "No, I'll go.

You really do need that break. You've been through so much lately."

"One more task isn't going to kill me," Draco told him and slipped his hand from

Harry's. "Now, you go find James and help him with any homework he may have.

Besides, you're only fifteen; you don't know how to Apparate."

Harry knocked on James' door, which was open, to get the child's attention. "Papa!"

James smiled and dropped the small book he was reading. He was sitting up on his bed,

his short legs stretching out in front of him.

"James, what would you do if your daddy was to start crying?" Harry asked, sitting next

to James.

"I'd want to hug him," James answered. "But I haven't been able to, and I know that he's

crying all the time. He misses you."

"Why can't you hug him?"

"Because he doesn't love me anymore." Harry paused, and gathered James up in his

arms. James gasped as he heard Harry sobbing lightly. "Papa?"

"I'm sorry James," Harry cried quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"Why?"

"It's all my fault that your daddy is always crying. It's my fault that he's being so

grouchy. He really loves you. He always will. It just hurts him that you don't love him

back. He can't stand being around you or me."

"I can't love him if he doesn't want to see me."

"It's all my fault," Harry continued. "And I want all of his pain to go away. Every time I

see him cry, I just want to hold him and tell him that everything will be fine. That I'll

return to the way that I was before I fell. I want to kiss him, but I can't because he

doesn't spend more than a meals' time around us. And sometimes he won't even stay

that long."

'My Papa is crying,' Cissa told Draco as they waited in the Pembroke Pies Bakery. He

knew his son liked to have pies for dinner and decided that it wouldn't be that bad.

'I know, Cissa,' Draco sighed.

'Are you going to do anything about it?'

'There's nothing I can do. He doesn't want me to comfort him. Two more days.' Draco

had gotten used to counting down how many days it was until Cissa was going to be

born. 'I'll live for two more days.'

Harry stood up away from his son after he wiped his tears away. "Are you feeling better,

Papa?" James asked with a small grin. He knew his papa loved his daddy somewhere

inside him.

"I feel much better," Harry admitted, running a hand through his hair, the same hair

that James inherited. Looking down at his son, he noticed everything James had gotten

from him. He wasn't very fragile-looking like Draco was, and was certainly short for his

age, with the same knees that Harry used to have. Even his eyes were the same as

Harry's, except for the single silver fleck in both eyes. The only thing about James that

didn't resemble Harry was his smile. It was beautiful and could win anyone's heart over.

"What's wrong, Papa?"

"It's nothing," Harry sighed. "Have you ever seen your daddy smile?"

James considered it for a while before he shook his head. "No. Why?"

"Because other than your smile, you look identical to me, and I wanted to know if you

got your smile from your daddy."

"Not many people have seen Daddy smile. I think Uncle Sev may have. Uncle Sev has

known Daddy for a very long time."

"I know."

Draco decided that going for a small walk was in order. He needed to clear his mind.

Cissa had been talking a lot of the time. She was so excited about being born.

He paused outside a tailor's shop and looked at all the pre-made clothes on display. The

shop was closed, but the presentations were still up.

In the middle of the window were small models of babies.

'Daddy, can I have one of them?' Draco jumped as Cissa talked to him again. Draco's

hand instantly flew to his stomach.

"Are we expecting again?" Draco turned around to Hermione's voice. He looked at the

brunette, who looked like she was also grabbing a meal just in time.

"No," Draco sighed, and welcomed the embrace Hermione gave him. When she pulled

away, Draco sighed again. "I just like looking at everything that I could have gotten for

James."

"But they're clothes for baby girls," Hermione pointed out. "The boys are in the other

window." True to her words, there was another window on the other side of the door,

where all the boys clothes were being advertised.

"Well, I always wanted a baby girl."

"Maybe you and Harry could try again."

"I don't think so," Draco objected. "No, it's rare that female Veelas have more than one

baby. But for a male to have two? That's impossible."

"They thought it was impossible for a male to have one. And look at what you did. You

graced the world with a beautiful boy."

"Yes, well, that beautiful boy and his beautiful papa are probably starving right now,"

Draco chuckled weakly.

"I take it it's not better yet?" Hermione tried. Draco shook his head.

"But-but I'm getting used to it, you know? I think I'd collapse if Harry suddenly declared

his love for me. And not because of shock. He's happy this way, not having me. I want

him to be happy."

"Is that why you legally broke the bond?" Hermione asked. Draco nodded his head this

time. "I don't see why you would so something like that."

"It was so we'd be legally single. I know how much he'd prefer to be with someone else.

Like I said, I'm used to not having Harry with me in bed, or being able to hug him and

kiss him."

"Harry told Ron and me that you would give up James to him."

"Yes, I would. My son doesn't love me. It hurts deeply. I'd prefer to be far away from the

both of them than have to endure this suffering for much longer," Draco admitted easily.

He kissed Hermione on the cheek. "I have to go now."

Harry looked up as he heard Draco Apparate back into the house. The scent of fresh

meat pies filled the room, and soon, even James was rushing down the stairs to get food.

"You were fast," Harry said in an attempt to talk to Draco. Draco handed him the bag

before starting to walk outside. Harry looked in the bag, but paused when he saw that

there was only two pies. Harry grabbed Draco's arm. "Where are you going?"

"Outside. I'm going to reheat my tea," Draco answered simply.

"Why did you only get two pies?"

"I'm not hungry."

"I haven't seen you eat properly in a long time," Harry pointed out.

"I'm a grown man, Harry. I know when I'm hungry and when I'm not," Draco said. "Oh,

and I ran into Hermione. She told me that you told her about me changing my name."

"You changed your name?" James asked from his cushion-stacked chair.

"Yes, I did."

"What to?"

Draco and Harry paused. They hadn't wanted to tell James anything about them legally

splitting.

"James," Harry started, walking over to his son, "you know how you thought that your

daddy and I were going to get a divorce? Well, we did." James stared at his papa before

looking at his daddy. His green eyes were wide.

"But-but Daddy promised. He-he said that you wouldn't. He promised!"

"I never promised anything, James," Draco argued. "I thought it was impossible, but I

found out that we actually could. And as for your question, my name is now Draco

Malfoy, instead of Draco Malfoy-Potter. That's all."

"That's all?" James asked, his voice loud. "No! That's not all. You don't love Papa

anymore so you divorced him! And you hate me, too! You want to kill yourself and leave

me and Papa all alone. Well, I don't care! If you're gone then Papa wouldn't have to cry

like he did. I wouldn't have to cry. I wish you were dead!"

Harry rushed over to his son and clamped his hand over his mouth, but it was too late as

James had finished everything he wanted to say.

Draco's silver eyes never even watered as he stared at his 'family'. "James," Draco said,

his voice deadly. "If that's what you truly want, and I'm here only to make you and your

papa happy, then I'll be glad to kill myself."

Harry jumped up to Draco's side quickly. "No, Draco, don't," he objected. "Don't. Like I

said, he's just a five-year-old. He knows nothing about love. Please, Draco, listen to me."

Draco shook his head. "No, this is truly what he wants. I'm putting you and him through

too much pain, and it hurts me to hear him say that sort of thing. I-," Draco was silenced

as a sharp slap was administrated to his face. There was a mere second of silence before

two metal objects fell to the floor. Draco followed.

"What?" Harry asked, looking at his left wrist. His and Draco's bracelets had fallen off.

There wasn't any blood, but four scars around his wrist. "Draco? I thought you said

nothing-,"

"The only thing that could break a bond was physical abuse. The instant one half of the

bond hits or-or purposely hurts the other, the bond breaks completely," Draco

explained. He was looking up at Harry when he felt Cissa stir.

'Daddy, I've made my decision,' Cissa said softly. Draco nodded his head once. 'I'm

going to be born tomorrow, and we shall both die.'

Again, Draco didn't sleep. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep unless Harry was

near him. Even though the bond was broken, it still seemed intact. Draco felt it when

Harry had fallen asleep after five hours of tossing and turning, and that was when Draco

got out of bed to make his way to Harry's room.

Loving the fact that Harry didn't sleep with the door closed, Draco snuck into the room

and sat on the bed by Harry's head.

"Oh, love," Draco whispered into the darkness, reaching his hand out to Harry's hair. He

gently pushed it away to see the infamous lightning-bolt scar that he could clearly

remember tracing many different times. Doing so, he sighed, and bent down to Harry's

face, placing one single kiss on Harry's lips before pulling back. It may have lasted but a

second, but it was heaven to Draco. He finally got what he wanted. "I'm sorry that I have

to leave you alone with our son to raise, but I'll be somewhere, watching you. I wish I

could turn back time, I really do, but that's impossible. I could never stop you from

falling, my love. I tried to go back-I really did-but I failed. Please forgive me for

everything that I've ever done. I love you." Draco stood up from his spot and walked out

of the room. As he slowly moved, he didn't see Harry had his eyes opened lightly,

watching Draco move.

"Does this mean you're going to die?" Harry whispered into the dark.

Draco looked into his son's room, the last thing he said echoing in his mind.

This child was his; he nearly died for him, yet he would say such things. Draco let out a

shaky breath and walked over to his son's bed, just like he did to Harry.

"I'm so sorry that I made you hate me, James. I tried all I could to be a good parent, I

really did. They-they say that a baby Veela can't last without its carrier within the first

year of its birth. I don't think I'd be able to take it if you died. You're my sunshine. You

always have been and always will be. I'm not going to be around after today, so you're

never going to see me again. Behave for your papa, alright? I love you, always."

Draco kissed James on the forehead and moved away from him quickly when he felt him

stir.

Just as Draco turned the corner, James muttered in his sleep, "I'm sorry, too, Daddy."

Harry groaned as he felt the rays of the sun stream onto his face. He grunted, however,

when he felt a tingling sensation coming from the pits of his stomach. Groaning, he

realised that this wasn't normal and got himself showered and dressed before he asked

Hermione to check out what was going wrong.

She arrived no longer than five minutes later, and was quick to evaluate Harry.

"I really don't know what's wrong," Hermione admitted, feeling Harry's abdomen. She

was just about to leave when she noticed Harry's bracelet was missing. "Where's your

bracelet? Oh, you didn't hit Draco, did you?" she started to ask. Harry lowered his head,

showing that he had. "Merlin, do you know where he is? This could be a side-effect to it."

"I don't know. I haven't seen him all morning."

Draco sat on the rooftop, a hand placed on his stomach, where he felt the slow, painful

scratching that was Cissa trying to make her way out of him. Biting his lower lip and

groaning, Draco threw his head back as Cissa scratched at something important.

'Oh Merlin,' Draco barely managed to think. 'You're behind vital organs.'

'Daddy, I can't kill you if I drill through anything important. That can be healed later. As

long as I drink from your wounds, you will heal.'

'I know. James drank every last drop of blood he caused.'

'Veelas have strong healing abilities, second only to phoenix tears.'

Draco would have added something, but he let out a choked scream as Cissa continued

making her way through his insides. The blonde was panting soon, and had to remove

his hand as he felt Cissa stir close to the surface.

'Almost there,' Draco thought to Cissa. 'Almost dead.'

'Daddy, can I chose to live?' Cissa asked. 'The world does seem so very interesting, and I

would love to meet my Papa and my brother.'

Draco grumbled something under his breath. 'It's your choice, little one,' he groaned

out. This time around, the pain was much more intense than what he had when James

was born.

Harry was on his knees, holding his stomach as the pain just continued to get stronger.

"It feels like something scratching its way out of me," he groaned, causing Hermione to

gasp and cover her mouth.

"That's it!" she whispered, having lost her voice. "Draco's giving birth!"

Harry's green eyes widened unimaginably. "What?"

"Draco has to be. That's why you're in pain. That's why I saw him in front of a clothes

shop looking at clothes for a baby girl! We need to find him."

"Daddy!"

Draco looked up with bleary eyes as he heard James call out to him. His eyesight was

spotted with little black dots as he felt consciousness slip away. Cissa had finally broken

through the skin and was now drinking up the blood she had spilled, supported by

Draco's hand. She was tiny and glowed silver, with small wings and long nails.

"My God, Draco!" Harry exclaimed and ran over to Draco's side. Almost

hyperventilating, Harry grabbed Draco's face and turned it around to him. "Draco, I'm

sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have told you that I was sorry last night when you came to

me. Damnit, why'd you do this alone?" Harry placed a hand on Draco's forehead,

groaning as he felt the fever and the sweat. "You're burning up. We should get you

inside."

"No," Draco grumbled, his right hand reaching out to grab Harry's arm. "Don't. Can't

move."

"W-well, Hermione needs to heal you-that's a lot of blood."

"I know I'm bleeding to death," Draco said, a sad, small smile on his face. He looked

down to his left hand where Cissa was sitting, drinking. "Meet your daughter. Her name

is Cissa." Draco looked at James again. "Come and meet your little sister, James."

James didn't move. He stood his ground, next to Hermione.

"Draco," Hermione sighed, squatting down next to Harry. "What are you doing all

alone?"

"I'm not alone. Cissa was here," Draco pointed out. "And now you all are."

"No, what are you doing trying to go through a pregnancy by yourself?"

Draco let out a weak chuckle, flinching as his stomach coiled. "She promised me that

she'd take me with her. She promised that she wouldn't survive, and that I'd die with

her. I wanted that. My son wanted that. He told me that he wished I was dead. I can only

hope to please those I love. I do try."

"Draco, all this pain has going to your head," Hermione argued. "I'm sure James would

never-,"

"He did say that," Harry admitted, making Hermione gasp. "Draco, can I help at all?"

"She's decided that she wants us to live," Draco mumbled, groaning in pain as Cissa's

sharp claws dug into him accidentally. She clawed at him to keep her up. Draco

suddenly looked down as he felt Cissa collapse in his hand. "Cissa? Little one?" Draco

urged, nudging his daughter lightly. His eyes watered as Cissa didn't respond.

"Daughter? Cissa? Please, wake up. Don't die, please."

Harry paled as he looked at his daughter, who was lying flat on Draco's open palm. In a

flash of silver, she was in the form of a human new-born baby girl.

Tears splashed down Draco's cheeks, and then he gave up, submitting to the darkness

that wanted to smother him.

Harry sighed as he looked at Draco's very pale face. He knew that his son was in the

other room, in the same condition, but Hermione was doing all she could for him.

James' little sister didn't stand a chance at living. She had used up too much energy

crawling out of Draco's stomach and couldn't even survive to heal Draco. The only

reason as to why Draco was still living was James. He had turned into his Veela form

when Draco passed out and drank up the remainder of the blood, healing the wounds

Cissa made. He didn't have a clue that it was bad for his health, but he had saved his

daddy's life by doing so.

Harry shook his head. Memories had been flooding him since the incident and he had

held Cissa while James had healed Draco. He had been a little annoyed with Draco at

the fact that he had lied to him when Draco had told him about how James was born,

but then calmed down as he realised that he would have wanted to forget having a child

clawing its way out of his stomach as well.

Harry groaned as he realised all that love that Draco had told him about was real, and

that he had started to feel it.

He had the urge to hold Draco in his arms and cry until the blonde woke up. He wanted

to open up the link, and tried, before he had realised that the bond was broken, and had

actually cried when that registered in his newly restored mind.

Harry had cried when he realised that Draco Malfoy, the one man that he would ever

truly love, had been pushed away from him because he had been too stupid to feel.

Harry gasped as he saw Draco start to move, groaning things under his breath.

"Draco? Are you alright?" Harry asked quickly, sitting on the bed. "Draco? Dragon?"

Draco's silver eyes flew open instantly, and he looked around wildly. His eyes settled on

Harry, and he allowed himself a small sigh of relief.

"Harry, oh, Merlin, I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that you had fallen off the roof

and had gotten amnesia and forgot all about us a-and James," Draco started, his words

rushed. "But you're here, and you called me 'Dragon', so it must have all been a dream.

But love, I'm confused," Draco stated. "Why have you blocked me from my mind?"

"Draco," Harry whispered, cupping Draco's cheek with his hand. The blonde sighed and

moved into the touch.

"Hmm," Draco smiled, but brought Harry's hand over his mouth before Harry could see

it. Draco kissed Harry's palm gently, though Harry could still feel him smiling. "I love

you. Merlin, that was such a nightmare. And I was pregnant, only our baby daughter

died. It would have had to be a dream, because she promised me that she would take me

with her."

"Draco," Harry repeated. "It wasn't a dream. I'm not blocking you. Our bond is broken.

I-I hit you." Draco quite literally paused. "I'm so sorry, Draco. I really am. Cissa did die."

Harry felt Draco's hand slip away from his, and watched, again, as tears streamed down

Draco's cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

"She-she's gone?" Draco stuttered out. "And she didn't take me? And it wasn't a dream?

It was reality?" Draco shook his head, not willing to believe any of it. "No! Cissa

promised me! She was the only one who loved me. She died before she could heal me! I

should be dead unless it was all a dream."

"James healed you," Harry sighed, watching as Draco started to shake.

"N-no. My-my son, he wouldn't." Draco eyed Harry, watching as Harry's ears filled with

tears. "No. He wouldn't and even if he did, he'd be so sick."

"He did," Harry said, "and is. Hermione's in looking after him right now."

Draco sat up instantly, and swung his legs over the mattress, ignoring the pain that

ripped through his stomach.

"I-I have to go see him," Draco said, attempting to get up. Harry pushed him back down.

"Don't even try. Hermione told me that I'm not allowed to let you out of bed." Harry's

hands were firmly placed on Draco's shoulders as the smaller man tried to fight him off.

"No! I need to see him," Draco objected, wrestling to his greatest abilities. Harry rolled

his eyes and forced Draco back with all his weight, and straddled Draco's hips, holding

him in place.

"Look, Hermione isn't letting anyone see James, even though he's been asking for me for

the past day," Harry snapped, looking at his old lover underneath him. "And don't say

that Cissa was the only one who loved you. James did, and still does, and-and I love you;

and Severus, he collapsed when we told him what happened. You'll always be like a son

to him."

"You're a lying bastard," Draco snapped at Harry. "You do not love me-you said that you

never would. Even if you got your memories back, you said that you wouldn't love me.

You told James and you told me. I can't believe you just said that!"

"Draco, I lied. I remember everything," Harry argued. "I remember everything.

Becoming your friend, moving in with you, falling in love with you. I remember

everything important."

"I need to see my son," Draco said, turning his head to one side. His voice was soft, yet

still cutting.

"Draco,"

"I need to see my son!" Draco shouted this time, once again looking at Harry angrily. "I

need to see him."

"I know," Harry sighed. "I need to see him, too."

"Then why are you stopping me?"

"Because Hermione-,"

"Stuff Hermione!" Draco snapped. "She's only a trainee, and trainees aren't trained to

take care of part-Veela-rest human cases. She doesn't know how to treat my son."

Hermione looked up when she heard the door to James' room open. Turning around to

snap at Harry again, she paused, seeing that it was Draco.

"What are you doing up?" Hermione asked, rushing over to the cringing man. "You're

not well-,"

"I don't bloody well care," Draco told her angrily. "I want to see my son."

Draco could hear the rustling of bed covers and the slight movement of a mattress, and

looked around Hermione to see James sitting up, smiling brightly.

"Daddy!" the child exclaimed loudly, his eyes travelling over his carrier to make sure

that everything visibly was right with him.

"Hey, James," Draco sighed, and pushed past Hermione to sit next to James on the bed.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione questioned, standing with her hands placed on her hips.

"He wanted me to see James first. He'll be here in a while," Draco answered, not even

looking up at Hermione. He wearily looked at James, who was still smiling.

"Are you feeling okay?" James asked softly, his eyes moved from Draco to his own

hands, which were fisted into the blankets.

"I've been better," Draco admitted. "How are you feeling?"

James looked back up, his eyes shining happily. "Awful, but you're here, and alive and

better. I also feel a little disappointed. I almost had a little sister, but it's not worth

having one if it means that I lose you, Daddy."

"Your papa told me that you saved me."

"I did!" James smiled. "I did! Only, Aunt Hermione told me that that's why I'm sick.

Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I please hug you?"

Draco watched, shocked, as James looked down at his hands again, almost as if he was

ashamed. "You git," Draco sighed. "You don't have to ask." With that, Draco leant

forward and gathered his son up into his arms, hugging him close to him.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy," James whispered very softly. "I didn't mean those horrible things

I said. I really didn't. It just hurt so much to see you and Papa always fighting. Please

forgive me. I really do love you."

Draco tightened his grip. He really didn't know if those things could be forgiven.

"James-,"

"I'll understand if you don't want to forgive me, Daddy," James admitted, pulling away

from Draco slightly. "I won't ever forgive myself. I said horrible things."

"We'll see," Draco sighed, kissing James' forehead.

"I can't believe you almost died," James muttered, looking down again.

"Almost, James," Draco chuckled lightly, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm still alive."

Harry looked up as he heard Hermione enter the room. She was smiling lightly at her

long-time friend. "Draco and James are patching up their relationship," she stated,

sitting on the bed. "Now that you have your memories back, do you think you two will be

able to do the same thing?"

Harry shook his head, bringing his knees up to his chest and holding them there tightly.

"I don't think he'll ever forgive me."

"I don't think he'll be able to forgive anyone. No one even bothered to think as to how

everything was affecting him."

"I love him," Harry said, burying his head. "But he'll never let me tell him. He yelled at

me because I said it before."

"He told me that he would die in shock if you were to tell him that. Draco said that he

was getting used to the idea of you not loving him anymore."

Harry felt something stir in the bottom of his stomach and he shivered. "How could he?

I thought he loved me back."

"He does. He always will. It's just playing with his head."

"I made him cry earlier," Harry whispered. "It hurt so much. When he woke up, I called

him 'Dragon'. Apparently I only started to call him that when we started dating. He

grabbed my hand, placing small kisses all over it, telling me how much he loved me, and

how he had just had the worst nightmare ever. I made him cry by telling him that

nothing he had mentioned was a dream. For a second, he almost looked willing to live,

but when I told him, he returned to looking like death. His eyes clouded over and he

started to talk about how Cissa said that she would take him with her. He wanted to die

so badly. Draco told me that Cissa was the only person who loved him."

"It sounds like Draco's going insane," Hermione sighed and she heard Harry choke on a

sob.

"I feel so bad for him. He must have been going through hell these past few months. It's

all my fault! I should have let him kiss me when he asked, or-or I should have let my

emotions go the way they wanted to."

"Harry, you were doing what you thought was best for yourself."

"You're right, and that's the horrible thing. I can't believe I didn't think about Draco's

feelings once that whole time. I wouldn't blame him if he hated me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"Well he should! I'm such an awful person," Harry stated, looking at Hermione. He

looked at the door when he heard feet approach it.

"Harry," Draco breathed. He looked like he had just ran.

Harry instantly got up, rushing towards Draco. He cupped his face with his hands.

"You shouldn't be moving like this," Harry objected instantly. "You're still-,"

"He's very sick. He's vomiting constantly," Draco panted. "You need to get Severus. Get

him to bring Fawkes. We need phoenix tears. Veela tears won't do. I tried." The blonde

cringed, placing a hand on his stomach. He had exerted himself far too much.

"Okay," Harry said softly, and moved to kiss Draco on the cheek. Draco ducked his head

around Harry and stood so that Harry was closer to the exit.

"Just go."

Harry did as Draco told him, and soon Severus was sitting in Draco's room, watching the

blonde who was pacing back and forth. Harry was in the same room.

"Draco," Severus said softly, watching Draco stop his moving, "why did you plan to go

through the pregnancy alone?"

"I didn't want to see anyone," Draco admitted. "Seeing Harry or James before I died

would only make me not want to. I've never wanted to leave them, but death is the

ultimate separation."

"Then why plan on dying?" Severus questioned angrily. "Why leave them? Even if you

doubted their love for you, you know I think of you as a son and would gladly do

anything to help you."

"Severus, the love of a husband, or that of your own child, is very different. I just

thought I couldn't live without either. The worst thing is that I got neither."

"And now you have both," Harry grumbled, "only you won't allow me to love you, will

you?"

Draco paused, his silver eyes trained on Harry. "If I let you love me, and I let myself love

you, and then someone terribly wrong happens, then what? What would I do?"

"You damn Slytherin," Harry snapped. "Too scared to know what's good for you. Take a

frigging chance, Draco. And if something happens, then I give you full permission to do

whatever you need to prevent it." Harry stood up and walked over to Draco. "Please, just

go back to the way things were before the accident. We were in love and had a small

family. Forget that these last months ever happened."

"That's a lot harder to do," Draco admitted, moving away from Harry slightly. Harry

reached out and attempted to pull Draco into his arms. Draco merely sidestepped him

again, and he paused as two small tears poured from Harry's eyes.

"If you love me so much, why are you avoiding me? I have all of my memories back,

Draco, and I want to make everything better. I want to try to make you forgive me for

everything I did these past few days. Please," Harry pleaded softly. "I really love you."

"Leave me alone," Draco shivered, and moved far away from Harry. "It hurts too much."

"So what are you suggesting we do, Draco?"

"I think I just need to leave town for a little while," Draco contemplated, causing Harry's

mouth to widen in shock. "Until it stops burning. Then I'll be back and ready to be a

parent again. And a lover. But until then, I don't think being around you or James will

do me any good. Please, I need to be alone and to heal."

Harry's eyes narrowed in a glare, and he lost his breath. "You intend on leaving us after

claiming that you never wanted to leave us? What's wrong with you?"

"Too many things, Harry, and that's why I have to go. Please, I feel like I'll die if I stay

here any longer."

"It'll be the same! You leaving and you dying! What's the difference! Either way, you're

exiting our lives! James deserves a healthy upbringing, and one parent can't guarantee

that!" Harry exploded.

"I know, Harry, I know he deserves the best, but I don't think I can give either of you

what you need at the moment. I'm not stable enough to be a father, Harry, I'm not. And

I'm not stable enough to be your lover. I do love you both with everything that I have,

but it isn't enough at the moment."

--

When James looked out the window of the Hogwarts Express, he couldn't help the smile

that took over his face. His Papa was watching him as he made his first ever trip to

Hogwarts. He was sad that he wouldn't see his Papa for the next three months, but he

couldn't not be excited about this new chapter in his life.

And then he felt the queasy sensation in his stomach, and that made him look around

wildly, trying to find the person who was observing him from a distance.

Harry noticed the look on James' face and he, too, began to search the area. He knew

that his son knew when his Daddy was close by, and wanted nothing more than to see

the blonde man who had exited their lives six years ago.

He turned around when he felt a cold hand slip into his, and found himself staring into

the ice blue eyes he only saw in his dreams.

"Draco…"

"I'm here to see my son off," Draco replied coldly, looking away from Harry. He finally

caught James' eyes, and waved to the child.

Instantly, James opened the window of his compartment, and motioned for Draco to

come closer to him, but Draco just shook his head, quite regrettably.

"Go give him a hug," Harry suggested, his own stomach becoming unsettled.

Draco's eyes never fell off his son. "I-I can't."

"It's the least that you can do."

His resolve wavered, and Draco looked away. "I knew I shouldn't have come," he sighed,

pulling his hand away from his ex-husband. "This was a mistake."

"So you're going to stand there and tear yourself out of his life again?" Harry demanded

to know. "He saw you this time. He knows for sure now that you still give a damn! You

cannot just leave him like this, just like you cannot just leave me. How much more time

do you need? How many more birthdays do you have to watch from afar?"

Draco paused. "I noticed he had begun to sense me," he breathed.

"He'd treasure having you back over any present that you leave on the doorstep. Even if

the presents gotten by you are already his favourites."

"…We don't talk for six years, and you still know how to convince me of things," Draco

muttered.

"Give him a hug."

It didn't take much more persuasion for Draco to leave Harry's side. James was basically

halfway out of the window by the time Draco made it there. The blonde wrapped his

arms around his child, and held him close, feeling his son shudder with tears.

Harry was more than happy that Draco agreed to return home with him for at least

lunch. He set up the tea as it was too early for the lunch, but in its awkwardness, it felt

more like he was treating a guest to his house, rather than the love of his life.

"I'm glad to see that you've kept the place the same," Draco commented, taking a sip of

his tea.

"So where have you been these past six years?" Harry asked straight forward.

"Still as impatient as ever."

"Where have you been?"

"Here and there."

"I thought you would have at least told Severus. He only knew that you had left. I can't

believe you left when we were sleeping! How could you? I thought that you had…"

"That I had killed myself?" Draco asked almost casually.

"…Yes."

"You don't have to ever worry about that, Harry. I'm always here. Just because you can't

see me doesn't mean that I'm not."

"This is the first time that I've seen you in six whole years, Draco," Harry stressed. "I was

worried about you. James was worried about you. We both love you so much…"

"I'm not returning," Draco claimed, drinking some more. "I'm just here for lunch. Just

as I was there only to see my son off."

"At least he got a hug," Harry groaned.

"At your insistence."

"Then I insist that you stay here for the rest of your life."

"As fun as that'd be, Harry, I'm still not stable enough for it."

"I'm not looking for the 'stable enough' speech again, Draco. I got it before, and that was

the worst night of my life. You left me alone with a five-year-old. You left your family…"

"So I could get better," Draco countered. "And I'm here. I showed myself. Isn't that good

enough for now?"

"Are you trying to tell me that it's taken you six years to get the courage up to return for

a lunch?" Harry asked, his voice slightly raised.

"Do you know how long it took for me to be able to sleep when I left? Three weeks. Every

night for those three weeks, I saw you and James when I closed my eyes to sleep, and all

I could hear was you and him claiming that you both would never love me. Do you have

any idea how hard it is to go through that?"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to know that you caused another person that?"

Harry rebutted. "We have to live knowing that we caused you to leave us! We hurt you,

and we've had to live with that."

"I can't stay."

"Why the hell not?" Harry asked, but then paused.

Draco's eyes read Harry's; they were scared.

"Don't even think of that," Draco snapped.

"There's somebody else."

"I told you not to think like that."

"You-you have a lover."

"I do not, Harry," Draco claimed with a heavy sigh. "I love you. In these six years, the

only thing I've gotten close to is my hand. And even then I was thinking of you."

Harry groaned. "Then why can't you stay?"

"Because I can't!"

"That's not an answer. Why can't you stay? I highly doubt it's for work, and you don't

have a lover. Unless it's so you can continue watering your plants, I really don't know

what's stopping you. Perhaps you don't want to be with your family-sorry, your son,

seeing as we're no longer related."

"This was a very, very stupid idea," Draco decided, standing and walking away so that

the couch and the coffee table separated the ex-lovers. "I shouldn't have seen him off,

and I shouldn't have returned to 'have lunch' here."

"So you don't want to be with him?"

"You bastard. If I didn't want to be with him, or you, then I wouldn't have bothered

watching him grow up, I wouldn't have seen him this morning, and I certainly wouldn't

be here with you!"

"Why are you here? Surely you should have expected this conversation," Harry pointed

out, his hands around his mug of tea. He put it back down on the table, and grabbed for

a cushion instead.

"Well, I was hoping that you'd let me explain when I was ready to. Maybe I expected a

little too much. I should go."

He turned to leave, but found himself stopped. Harry had bolted up from his spot on the

chair, and had grabbed his hand.

"You-you can't go," Harry objected. He stepped as close to Draco as it was humanly

possible, wrapping his free arm around the lower of Draco's back. "Not yet; not now."

He felt Draco nearly melt against him.

They shared their first kiss in over six years.

Draco woke up to a rhythm he had dreamt about. It was the steady sounds of his lover's

breathing and his heart beating. The blonde thirty-two year old looked up at Harry's

slumbering face, and swore silently. He hadn't meant for that to happen. And certainly

not as many times as it had. That had not been planned.

He slipped out of Harry's embrace and checked the time. He had slept for three hours.

He quickly moved off and away from the bed and began to search for his clothes. He

paused at Harry's sleepy voice.

"Dray?"

"Go back to sleep, love," Draco insisted, kissing Harry on his scarred forehead. "Please,

go back to sleep."

Harry's eyes snapped open, and he sat up. "You're leaving again?"

"Sleep."

Harry shook his head, and joined Draco in the vertical world as the blonde continued to

pick his clothes up off the floor.

"You're leaving me after everything that happened? That doesn't just happen, Draco."

"A-as wonderful, and as terrific as everything was, Harry, I really have to go. I told you

that I can't get involved with you again."

"Too bloody late! Maybe you weren't conscious of it, but you got 'involved with me' the

moment the kissing began. And it continued through to when the clothes disappeared, I

believe you'll find the shirt you're looking for in the kitchen, and you certainly were

'involved with me' when we were making love!"

Draco looked up at Harry with saddened eyes. "You don't understand…"

"You regret it," Harry claimed. When Draco turned away, it was confirmed. He laughed

coldly. "You regret that we had sex. You regret what was possibly one of the best nights

of my life. I really can't believe the shit you put me through."

"I had no intentions of letting you in my pants when I went to that station to see my

son," Draco snapped. "I didn't know that that was going to happen."

"Oh, sure, you weren't aware of the sexual tension," Harry replied cynically. "I'm sorry, I

must have been the only one to notice the fact that we both relied on our hands these

past six years."

"So now I was only around for nine years to be a replacement for you hand? For those

six years of marriage, I was only your bed partner, who happened to fall pregnant?"

"I never claimed that, nor insinuated it! For those six years, you were my lover. I loved

you more than anything else in my life! Hell, I still do, and I begged for your forgiveness,

and I searched most of England looking for you when you left us. You're the one who

treated me like a bed partner. When things got too rough for you, you left. You didn't

stick it out like a husband would have."

"I stuck around through the hardest part, Harry Potter!" Draco exclaimed. "I was there

for three months by your bed hoping that you would wake up! I put up with the child

who didn't want me there! And I was tired of being hated…"

"Well, I'm so sorry that I was unconscious. I would have kissed it all better, Malfoy, but I

was in a friggin' coma!" Harry shouted.

"I'm so sick of all this fighting."

"Then we'll stop!"

"We won't stop if you keep yelling at me."

Harry sent Draco a glare before he climbed back into bed. "Fine. Get in bed and we'll

forget that this happened."

Draco felt his jaw drop. "How dare you?" he demanded.

"How dare I what? Want you back in my life? Jeez, I dunno."

Draco just shook his head. "I have to leave…"

"What's so important that you have to return? What is this new part of your life,

Malfoy?"

"It's painless, Harry," Draco answered softly. "It's painless. No one yells at me; no one

forgets that I'm there. No one tells me that they want me dead because I'm causing

another person pain."

"You're living a life without your son and it's painless?"

It was then that Harry began to cry. Draco hadn't expected that.

"You don't have a clue how much that boy is hurting inside. He knows that you're there,

and he knows that he's partially the reason why you're not completely there. He knows

that you watch him, and that you want to be his dad, but he knows that what he said

hurt you so much. His life isn't painless, Draco. Mine, neither. We love you so much, but

your absence in our lives tears us to pieces. We need you back."

"I'm sorry, Harry, but I need to be selfish on this one," Draco muttered. "I need to be

alone. James deserves a better parent than me. The parent he deserves never would

have made him hate them in the first place. Do yourself a favour, and go find a new

lover; one who's a worthy parent to James."

Those words made Harry break down completely.

"You gave him life, Draco! He lived inside you for the first nine months of his life! There

is no one better suited to be his parent than you…he needs you. He wants you. Isn't that

enough? Why can't you end his pain?"

Draco groaned loudly. "Why can't you see this from my point of view? I tried to kill

myself! You guys had me hurting that badly that I tried giving birth by myself just so I

could die. I'm the evil, bad guy. Please let me come back in my own time, Harry." He sat

next to Harry on the bed, now fully dressed from the waist down. "Please. I need a little

more time."

"So I can expect you back in three years?"

"I don't know when things will work out. I don't know if I'll be able to stay the next time,

either…"

"Then don't come back," Harry snapped. Draco froze. "I don't want you back here until

you're back here for sure. Just the same, I don't want you watching him."

"That's not fair!" Draco instantly objected. "Not watching him? I can't see him grow?"

"You fill him with false hope when you do. He knows that you're there. It makes him

happy, but it also hurts him so badly because he knows that you still can't be close to

him."

"Seeing the two of you from afar is the only thing keeping me alive."

"And to think you were planning on giving up visitation rights."

James loved life at Hogwarts. But he was enjoying the Christmas holidays, as well. He

got to see his Papa again, and got to laugh about how he was the first Potter in the long

line of Potters to become a Slytherin. He loved being able to play Quidditch with his

Papa since he wasn't allowed to as a first year, and loved talking about how grumpy his

Uncle Sev was as a teacher.

However, he soon realised that he wasn't allowed to talk about his Daddy. From what he

understood, his Daddy saw him off at the train station and then left. He didn't want

anything to do with his Papa.

He wanted to know more about his Daddy. He always had. But his Papa would always

freeze up and say the bare minimum. But it was different now. He could have sworn that

the first few times he asked, his Papa's eyes watered with tears. He didn't ask for a long

time after that.

"Daddy was a Seeker also, wasn't he?" James dared to ask as they flew back on their

broomsticks. James apparently inherited Draco's skills as a flyer, so they stuck low to

the ground.

"A pathetic one," Harry replied in a grunt.

"He played for Slytherin?"

"I don't want to talk about your…about him."

"Papa…"

"That's enough, James," Harry scowled, and the two flew on in silence. Normally, they

would have continued flying through the front door, but this time they found an

obstacle.

A certain blonde man was standing on the front doorstep. James' smile couldn't have

gotten any bigger.

"Daddy!" he exclaimed, jumping off his broomstick so that he could run straight into his

Daddy's arms. The young boy wrapped his arms around Draco's middle, coming up to

his mid-chest. "You're here! You're back!"

Draco barely registered his son clinging to him. He brushed his hand through James'

bangs, kissing him on his forehead, before he forced eye contact with Harry.

"We need to talk," Draco announced.

"I don't particularly care, Malfoy," Harry said with a shrug of his shoulders as he passed

his ex-lover.

Draco winced as he felt James hug him tighter.

"Not too hard, kiddo," Draco muttered, resting a hand on James' shoulder.

"So now your son isn't allowed to by physical with you?"

"Why do you always complicate things, Harry? Did you even think that I could have a

stomach ache?"

"I told you that I don't care."

"Stop being so mean to him, Papa," James nearly shouted at his Papa. "He's back. Isn't

that good enough for now?"

Harry just shrugged his shoulders again, entering the mansion.

"Don't mind him. He's been really angry for a while now," James declared. He grabbed

his Daddy's hand, and led him into the house. "You have got to see my room, Daddy.

You'd love it. And all my drawings. And maybe you could help me out with my

potions…"

"I really have to speak with your Papa, James," Draco interrupted.

James stopped. "I-I understand if you don't want to talk to me, or be near me. I've done

a lot of bad things to you. I made you leave. I'm a horrible son…"

Draco stopped him by kneeling in front of him, and grabbing him by his shoulders. "I

love you so much. You have no idea how important you are to me. I might even be back

for good if your Papa and I can work this out. But I need to talk to him in private just for

a little while, and then I'll be up to seeing your room, and your drawings, and help you

with whatever homework you have, especially if your Uncle Sev set it."

James grinned his gorgeous smile, and pulled Draco into another hug. This time, Draco

returned it fully.

"I have a really big surprise for you, Daddy. I can't wait for you to see it."

"I bet my surprise is bigger," Draco promised, kissing his son's forehead again. He stood

up straight when he heard Harry lead the way to a study.

Draco closed the door behind him, watching Harry lean against the desk.

"What?" the Boy-Who-Lived demanded.

Draco's hand flew to his stomach. "I'm pregnant again."

Harry's eyes widened. "Get out of this house."

"H-Harry…"

"You lied to me," Harry snapped. "You told me that you hadn't had a lover. For you to be

pregnant, and actually know about it…"

"It's not like that. I was getting really sick, so I went to a Mediwitch about it. She said

that I'm four months pregnant. I didn't find out in the eighth month this time, Harry.

I'm only four months along. From the start of September, she said."

Harry's mouth opened this time.

"We…"

"We're having another baby," Draco stated. "Another baby. Harry, I made a mistake

with the last two. I wasn't there for them when they needed me the most. I'm not going

to stuff up with this one. We can be a family together…"

"You're back because you're pregnant."

"Yes."

"You're using this child as a lubricant to come back here?" Harry's tone was rising.

"No, this child is going to be a glue that brings us back together."

"Then I'd rather have nothing to do with it."

"W-what?"

Harry sighed heavily. "I don't want anything to do with someone who uses children like

that. You just don't want to raise a baby by yourself."

"You told me not to come back until I was ready to return for good. I'm ready, Harry!

The fact that I'm happy about this child is proof of that!"

"You're planning on forgetting everything that we did to you?"

"I can never forget that, but I can put it behind me."

"And we're supposed to put the fact that you left us behind us, too?"

Draco groaned. "Harry, when you get burnt by flames, you move away from them…"

"Not for six years, Draco!"

"No, most people don't return. I have. I don't have this urge to die anymore. I haven't for

the past two months. I'm moving on…"

"Do you honestly think that because you're having a baby, everything's right? A baby

does not change how we treated each other, and how you abandoned one, and used the

other to take your own life."

That struck Draco deeply. He backed away so that he was leaning against the door. "So

what would you have me do? I'm not having this child alone. Would you have me abort

it and then come back as if that never happened…?"

"You are not aborting any child of mine," Harry snapped.

"I thought you would have seen this child's life as something more important than the

damage that we did to each other. We still have to deal with the affect it had on James,

however, but I was hoping that you'd forgive me so that we could raise this child

healthily."

Draco hid his smile behind his hand as he walked into his son's room for the first time in

six years. Hanging from one of his walls was a huge Slytherin insignia.

"You're a Slytherin?" he asked, gasping slightly.

"The first Potter ever," James replied with a smirk most befitting his Slytherin roots.

"Sit," he insisted, patting the spot on the bed beside him. Draco sat next to him, looking

at the sketchbook in his hands. He was working on a landscape of Hogwarts.

"Wow," Draco breathed in awe. His son had a real talent for drawing. He honestly

couldn't think of where the boy got that from. "That's amazing."

"Papa said the same thing."

"So let's compare surprises," Draco suggested, and James jumped off the bed. He

grabbed another piece of paper, this time it was off the rather large desk, and returned.

Smiling, he handed over the page.

Draco gasped in happiness. Written on it, with the sloppy handwriting of a five-year-old,

was DRACO.

"I learnt it the day you left. I felt so horrible that I had to do it. I just had to. You were

gone and it was all my fault, and I knew that you had heard me say that I didn't love you

like I loved Papa, so I thought, being the stupid naïve child that I was, that if I learnt

how to spell your name, then you would have returned…"

Draco shut James up by pulling him into a tight embrace.

"I'm back. I'm back for good, James. I'm here for forever now, no matter what happens.

Your Papa and I will get through it. I'm here for you; I'll never leave again."

"Your surprise beats mine," James claimed after a while.

Draco pulled away. "That's only part of my surprise. The other part is in here." He

pointed at his abdomen, and James' jaw dropped.

"A-a baby?" he stuttered, a smile slowly growing on his face. "A baby?"

"Yep. Your Papa and I are having another baby."

"That's why you told me not to squeeze too hard! Wow! You're having a baby! I'm

getting a baby brother or sister!" He was nearly jumping up and down on the bed. "I

can't believe it! I'm gonna be a big brother!"

He hugged his Daddy again, though this time it was much gentler.

"I'm sure you'll be a really good big brother, James."

"Of course I will. Wow."

Later that night, when James was sleeping and when Harry and Draco were getting

ready to do so, Draco paused and looked at his ex-husband.

"So am I guest room, or with you?" he asked softly. Harry looked at him for a long time,

and just as Draco turned away for the guest room, he felt Harry grab him and pull him

into an embrace.

"With me. Always with me."

When You're Awake

--

Harry Potter couldn't understand how his two children looked so different from each

other. James Sirius Potter was born exactly four years after the death of Harry's mortal

enemy, Lord Voldemort. Little James had been the biggest surprise of Harry's life. He

didn't even realise that his lover could fall pregnant.

But when Lily Cissa Potter was born, Harry was in shock.

His life with Draco Malfoy was harsh. They suffered much at the hands of each other,

both in the physical sense, and in the magical sense. After a painful encounter with the

Dark Lord, Draco renounced his loyalty to his family, and managed his way into Harry's

circle of friends.

Years later, they were in love, and bonded in the deepest sense.

The bond they shared was a magical one, in every wonderful synonym of the word. Their

blood flowed through each other's veins. And this bond was to never be broken.

Or so they thought.

Five years after James' birth, Harry found out that the old Malfoy Manor wasn't as

impregnable as once thought. The roof needed fixing. During his stint as a handyman,

the older wizard of the couple fell from the stones of the Manor, and woke up after three

months. Harry Potter, the killer of Voldemort, slept for one quarter of the year, relying

on spells to keep him alive. Draco was thankful for this magic; he had seen once in a

Muggle television program the tubes connected to Muggle coma patients. It would be

beyond traumatising for his son to see his papa in such a position.

Draco's three-month abstinence from his lover was near impossible. It didn't help that

his son wasn't his biggest fan.

However, it was Harry's awakening that nearly killed the blonde man.

Harry woke with amnesia. Not complete amnesia, just lacking the ability to remember

his life after his fifteenth birthday. The last he could remember of Draco was a want to

hurt the other teen.

With time, Draco began to slip into depression; his 'husband' hated him, and his son

had told him that he wanted him to die. Draco divorced from Harry; a procedure easily

done without the consent of both parties involved. Then Harry slapped Draco, breaking

the blood bond they shared.

And then there was Cissa. A week after Harry woke, Draco found out that he was eight

months pregnant with their second child. She was loving and sweet, and would bring

around what Draco hoped was his death.

Giving birth to Cissa didn't do that, however. She died of exhaustion from having to dig

her way out of Draco's body, and James used his medically potent Veela life to save

Draco.

The next day, Draco left.

Harry and James didn't see Draco for another six years. The blonde showed himself to

the pair the day James went to Hogwarts. That same day also marked the conception of

Harry and Draco's third child. Draco left for another four months, but returned with the

news of the baby. His family welcomed him back into their lives.

Draco Malfoy-Potter looked at the extension to his leg. He and Harry had bound their

lives together two weeks after Lily's birth. Anytime before it meant that unnecessary

strain would have been forced upon the pregnancy. Since her birth, however, Lily was

either almost literally clinging to Draco or alone in her room. She never let Harry or

James touch her, even when she was a baby. The only time she ever cried in her infant

years was when either of them came too close to her. She also never spoke. Not only to

her papa or her brother, but her daddy never got a conversation out of her, either. At the

age of five, she still had yet to say a word.

Harry came into the kitchen, smelling what Draco was cooking. As a top student in

Potions class, Draco was quite talented in the kitchen. Not noticing Lily on the other

side of Draco's body, Harry wrapped his arms around his lover, only to jump back at

Lily's cry.

"Sorry," Harry quickly apologised to Lily, crouching down to be at her height. She was

tiny, barely reaching Draco's hip. Lily hid her face behind Draco's legs.

Draco gave Harry a quick peck to the lips as he straightened up again.

"She's more quiet than usual today. And I don't remember putting that top on her this

morning, either," Draco muttered.

"So, err, other side of the bench, I suppose?" Harry asked, though directed it more at

Lily. The young blonde nodded her head and Harry obliged. "I can't believe Hermione

can't find anything on how she won't talk…"

"I know, but it's hard when I'm the only male Veela to successfully give birth."

"Think it has something to do with the way they know your memories?"

Draco gently patted Lily on the head. "Maybe."

Harry groaned lightly. "I just want to actually hug my own daughter."

Draco sighed at the comment. "You've said that every day since she was born."

It had been a shock to the both of them when Lily asked to have her middle name as

'Cissa'. That was all that she ever asked of Draco, and that was whilst she was still in

him. Rather than the conversations he had had with James and Cissa, he never heard a

single mutter from Lily except for her 'May I have the middle name of Cissa, please?'

before she started to scratch her way out of him. For many months, he was scared that

he had miscarried the baby girl due to her surprising silence. He would ask her all the

time as to why she was so quiet, but would never get an answer.

"Dinner's ready," Draco calmly announced. He looked down at Lily. "Wanna go get

James while I set this up?"

Neither agreeing nor disagreeing, Lily practically ran towards James' room.

"No running, remember?" Harry called after her, and the parents heard her footsteps

fall slower. "At least she's taken to actually listening to me."

Draco gave his lover a sympathetic look as he levitated all four plates to the table. He

had lost the ability to use magic in the last two months of his pregnancy, like he had with

James and Cissa, and missed it greatly. The cutlery followed, along with glasses and

something for them to drink. Lily returned to Draco's side, wrapping her arms around

one of his legs before clambering up onto a chair that had cushions stacked upon it. It

was the same chair and cushions used by James in his first few years in life.

The sixteen-year-old came into the dining room and took his usual seat.

"You told her to come get me, right?" he asked. He no longer was the little boy who once

reflected Harry completely. He was now the teenager who reflected Harry completely.

The only things that didn't resemble Harry were the slight grey flecks in his eyes and the

charming smile he had since birth. His hair was a little more tameable than his papa's

was, mainly because his gay parents (or parent, being Draco) introduced him to the

world of hair products. Despite the influence of gay parents, however, he was quite the

lady's man. Being bred from two of the most sought-out bachelors of Hogwarts, James

had the appeal of water to a stranded man in a desert. It seemed as if everyone wanted a

piece of him.

"Yeah."

"She just stood there, knocking on my door. I had to smell the food to know."

Harry shook his head. "You should really stop talking of Lily as if she's not in the room

with us," he advised, stabbing into a bean.

Once dinner was over, James was surprised to find Lily at his bedroom door again. He

let her in, and watched in awe as she entered, climbing onto her big brother's bed. In all

her years of living, she had never sought out James on her own, and she had most

certainly never stepped into his room, despite his constant invitations.

What surprised him even more was her sudden attack of the silent tears. They just rolled

down her face, and for once, she didn't even try to shy away from James' attention.

"What's wrong, Lils?" James asked, fighting his want to hug her. He hated being in that

position, but it just seemed that those he wanted to hold hated him.

Lily didn't vocally answer James, but instead crawled over to the bedside tables, picking

up a photograph of James and Harry alone. It was just before James went to Hogwarts

for the first time. She also grabbed a photo of Draco. It was then that she noticed the

many Muggle pictures in James' room, and that made her cry harder.

Nonetheless, she placed the photo of Draco far away from the photo of her papa and her

brother, and then pointed to the latter, directly at the eleven-year-old James, and then

to herself. Lastly, she motioned towards Draco over in the distance.

James' eyes widened.

"Dear Merlin, please let me hug you, just this once," he pleaded, and at his sister's nod,

he pulled the five-year-old into his arms for the first time. "He's not going to leave you,

Lils. He knows how much it hurts. Daddy loves you so much. Papa and I caused him so

much pain…" he pulled back slightly. "Is that why you don't talk? You don't want to hurt

Daddy like I did?"

Lily buried her head into James' shoulder so he couldn't see her.

"Oh, Lily. Don't think that. Our parents want to hear you voice. And Papa would love to

have you hug him."

Lily started to shake her head violently. She turned back to the photos, pointed at Harry,

pointed at Draco and then pretended to slap herself across her face.

"I know Papa hit Daddy, but that was years and years ago, and it was because of me. I

don't know how much you got from Daddy's memories, but Papa never did anything to

hurt me, and he's never hurt you, either. He's a really good father, Lily. He loves us both,

and won't ever hit us like that. You gotta have a little bit of faith in them and yourself."

Lily reasserted the slapping action. "Has he ever hit you before?" Lily shook her head.

"And he's never hit me before. He's really kind, and he's the good guy. You know all the

bedtime stories Daddy tells you before you go to sleep? It's Papa who's the hero in all of

them. The bad guy, Tom Riddle, is the evil man who killed Grandma and Grandpa

Potter. And he's also why Grandma and Grandpa Malfoy are gone, too."

Lily started to shake her head again. Pointing at Draco, she made a circle on the part of

the bed above the photo. She then pointed to Harry and drew her hand across her neck.

"Papa killed Grandpa Malfoy?" James thought on it for a while. "Well, yeah, he did. He

told me when I had to do some research on it in Defence Against the Dark Arts. But

Grandpa Malfoy was a really, really bad man. He tried to kill both Papa and Daddy."

Lily took in a deep breath, and then turned back to the photos. Indicating Harry, she

then moved her finger to Draco, and then drew the tip of her finger down her own

wrists. She had tears trailing down her face again, and this time even James got a bit

teary.

"Yeah, Daddy did try to kill himself because of Papa. But it was also me. He didn't hurt

himself like that, though. He only tried with Cissa."

Lily shook her head yet again, causing James' eyes to widen again.

"Please tell me you're mistaken."

Lily non-verbally denied. The oldest child quickly left the room.

Harry and Draco weren't prepared for their son to attack them verbally. He came into

the living room, interrupting whatever conversation his parents had and pinned Draco

with an accusing glare.

"You tried to kill yourself!" he shouted.

Draco's eyebrow rose slightly. "Yes, you were there for it…"

"You slit your wrists!"

He heard Harry shift in his seat slightly and watched Draco nervously run a hand down

his left wrist.

"It was only one wrist. How do you…?"

"You have a daughter who was born after your attempt," James spat.

Draco paled. "Oh Merlin…"

"Yeah. My little sister has the memory of you attempting to kill yourself! She probably

has both images of them locked up in her head!"

Harry sat forward in his chair. "Lily talked to you?"

James turned around to his papa. "She's terrified of you. She hugged me and I suggested

that she hugged you. I've never seen her look so scared in her life! She knows that you

hit Dad, and she's scared that you'll hit her, too! And do you know why she doesn't talk?

Lily's too worried about hurting Dad that she doesn't want to say anything."

Draco slumped back into the couch he was on. "I knew Lily carried some of my memory,

but I didn't realise she got all the bad stuff."

James was glaring at Harry. "Did you know about his suicide attempt?"

"I saw the scars. He explained when I asked."

"And how long ago was that?"

"One week after he returned."

James started to shake with anger. "You knew for five years and you didn't tell me?"

Draco sat up at that. "That was my fault, James. My mother killed herself, so I'm fully

aware of the pain a child feels when facing that situation. It's a lot worse knowing that

she chose to go than knowing that she's gone. I suggested that your papa and I keep it a

secret. I didn't expect Lily to know about it."

"For six years, all I thought about was where you were and if you were still alive or not.

You chose to leave me and Papa, so you have no right to claim to know anything of that

pain! I caused you to leave!"

"At least you knew that I was still watching you. I still wanted to be there in your life. My

mother wanted nothing to do with me! She killed herself because everything she loved

was dead! I wanted to die because everything I loved hurt me and I couldn't deal with

it."

"You're no better than she was," James accused.

Harry tensed at the sensations Draco was feeling. He had felt them before ten years ago

when the problems started. They had always been worried that James would sink his

teeth into Draco's behaviour, and it was about time that he started.

"I was better than she was. I watched you everyday. I sent you gifts for every birthday

and Christmas. I wanted to be in your life; I just couldn't be. You have no right to accuse

me of choosing to leave you when you pushed me away! I had to go for my sanity,

James."

"This crap again?"

"James, Draco, this is enough," Harry declared. "Lily is more important than this.

She's…"

"Yes, we'll just pretend that I lost my Dad for several years for the sake of Lily. That's

pretty much what you told me when she was born, wasn't it? Lily was more important

than what I was feeling at the time?" James was tearing up with frustration and anger.

He had never expressed what he thought about his parents' decisions towards him and

Lily, and felt he couldn't hold it back anymore.

"I know I screwed up with you and Cissa…" Draco was cut off short.

"Cissa! My little sister who you used! She deserved a life, but you caused that to never

happen!"

Draco stood up, angry tears down his cheeks. "Don't you dare talk about Cissa!" he

shouted at his son. "She was indecisive. She decided that she would kill the both of us,

and then she decided that she wanted to live! She didn't have a choice in the matter,

though. She had grown in a place very different to where you and Lily grew. She was

further back in my body and behind vital organs. I agreed to her continuation in life.

Unfortunately, Cissa didn't have the strength to pull through. Her death was not my

fault, James. No one is to be blamed for what happened to her."

James glared at his dad. He had never heard that version before. "Doesn't stop the fact

that Lily's suffering now."

"What do you want, James?" Draco asked, wiping off a tear from his cheek. "What the

hell do you want from me? Do you want me to admit that I'm a bad parent? Fine. I'm a

horrible parent. I'm a horrible lover. Do you want me to disappear again?"

"Lily thinks you're going to."

Both Draco and Harry froze at James' statement. Draco actually crumpled back into his

chair in shock. And then he burst out into tears.

"Dragon," Harry shushed, and pulled his husband into his arms, rocking him gently.

"We knew this was going to happen."

Harry looked up at the soft sounds of his daughter's feet. Lily climbed onto the couch

her parents were sitting on and actually pushed Harry away from Draco so that she

could curl up on Draco's lap without unnecessarily touching her papa. When that got no

reaction from her daddy, she sat up on his knees and pulled his hands away from his

face. After Lily had finally gotten Draco's attention, she tapped her chest above her

heart, holding her other hand against Draco's.

The blonde man scooped up his daughter into his arms, promising her that he would

never leave her.

"I told you that he'd never leave you," James told his sister, kneeling by the couch. "Way

back before Papa had his accident, we were a loving family. That's what we want again.

Daddy and Papa love each other, Lils. And I love them both and you. You just gotta give

Papa and me a chance."

Lily picked up Draco's left wrist, showing her brother the scars. James instantly winced,

turning away slightly.

"I don't want to hurt myself anymore, Lily," Draco told her. "I'm happy again. You and

James and your daddy made me happy again." He gently wiped away the tear that ran

down her cheek. "It's okay now."

Lily shook her head before she took in a deep breath.

"Why isn't it okay?"

Lily was shaking all over now.

"Lily?" Harry asked softly from the side of the couch.

The five-year-old threw herself into Draco's chest as she reached out with her left hand

towards her papa. She kept her face hidden from the other three as they looked at her.

Harry and Draco looked at James when they heard his slight sob. Their oldest child was

crying as he reached out to Lily's left arm.

"Oh no," Harry gasped, watching as James tugged down on the sleeve of her jumper

slightly. Tissues tied together made a bandage around her wrist. They were bloody.

Draco's eyes slid shut against the image. "Oh, Lily," he murmured. He hugged her close

to him again, feeling her shake against his chest. She pulled her arm back in to hold on

to her daddy's shirt.

Lily visibly cringed as she felt a hand on her head. "It's me, Lils," James informed her,

sifting his hand through her hair. "It's okay. We still love you. There's nothing that you

can do to stop us from loving you."

"James's right, Lily," Harry breathed. She shied away from Harry again. The brunette let

out a loud groan, and got up to leave the room.

"Harry," Draco objected.

"Draco, I know how it feels to be hated by your child, as do you. I'm going through

exactly what nearly took your life eleven years ago…"

"That isn't going to help at all," James argued. "Lily's just scared that you'll physically

hurt her. She doesn't hate you."

"Either way, I have a child who refuses to go anywhere near me. You have no idea how

frustrating that is for a parent. I'm watching my baby daughter grow up, and I can't have

any influence in it at all," Harry snapped.

"Harry, things take time."

Harry scoffed lightly. "Don't I know that."

Lily shook her head as Draco tried tucking her into bed later that night.

"What's wrong?" he asked weakly. Harry had left the mansion, claiming he needed to get

some fresh air, and had blocked Draco from his feelings through the bond.

Lily pointed to the only photograph that she kept in her room. It was of her parents.

"Your papa will be home soon. He just needs to think about things." She placed a hand

over her heart again, and pointed to Harry. "He loves you too, sweet heart. It's just really

hard to deal with." Lily cried a little. "It's okay. He'll be fine," Draco cooed, wiping away

her tears again.

He sat up on the edge of her bed and kissed her forehead. "Do you want to have babies

with the man you love when you get older?" Lily nodded her head. "Well, that's what

your papa and I did. We had you and James and Cissa. And we love all three of you. It

hurts, though, to not be able to talk to you or Cissa, or be able to hold you or Cissa. I

know Cissa's gone, and that we'll never be able to hold her or talk to her, but you're here,

and you've taken that away from your papa the most. He loves you so much, as all

parents love their children, but you're causing him a lot of pain by not letting him touch

you."

Lily put a hand to her neck and then touched Draco's wrist. "Yeah, it hurts me that you

don't talk to me, but I'd rather see your papa happy that you're hugging him than hear

you. That way he and I are equal. It's not fair that I get to hug you all I want and he

doesn't. Now, it's been a long, emotional day, and I think it's way past your bedtime." He

kissed her forehead again, pulling the blankets up under her chin. "Goodnight."

Lily nodded her head before curling up on her side.

Neither Harry nor Draco got to sleep quickly that night. Harry had returned from his

walk just as Draco was crawling under the covers of their bed and was just content to lie

in his husband's arms. It had gotten to three in the morning and neither had slept a

second. They didn't even pretend that they were sleeping. Draco, after spending several

hours spooning Harry chose to change their positions, and tried sleeping with his head

on Harry's chest, but that didn't work, either. They didn't talk, but stayed connected to

each other's soul through their bond. It was the pattering of Lily's feet, along with the

trudging sounds of James' sleepy steps, that brought them both out of their minds.

Harry and Draco raised their heads from their pillows as their children entered their

room. Lily was surprisingly holding James' hand with one hand and a thick doona in her

other. Instantly, her parents could feel magical forces behind that strength. She led

James to the bed, and set him down at the foot of it, before crawling into bed.

Harry, as it usually occurred, moved over in the bed so that Lily had enough room

without touching him. Another shock to the night was that she stopped him, wrapping

her little body around his larger arm.

The visually impaired man looked over to Draco, who was hiding a smile behind his

hand at the sight.

"Lily," Harry started, completely surprised, "you do realise this is me you're holding on

to, right?"

James rubbed tiredly at one eye, looking out for the movement that should have been

Lily's head confirming or denying her knowledge. Instead, he should have cleaned out

his ears.

"I know, Papa," she responded, but yawned, close to sleeping. Draco gasped, scooting

closer to his husband and youngest child. Within moments, Lily was fast asleep in the

arms of both her parents.

"James," Harry started, but was cut of short by his son.

"Hell no. That's just twisted. I, a nearly fully-grown man, am not going to sleep in the

same bed as my gay parents, thank you very much. Only the most beautiful of women

share that honour, no matter the joyous occasion. I'll be fine down here," James

elaborated, pulling the doona Lily left him with up and over his head.

"Sure, where we can kick you," Harry scoffed. It was then that he looked over to Draco,

and let out a content sigh.

"What?" Draco asked softly.

Harry used his free arm to pulled Draco in closer to him, but made sure not to squash

their daughter between them. He placed a simple kiss to Draco's temple.

"That's the first time since James was five that I've seen you truly smile, Mister Malfoy-

Potter."

"I guess you know where your children got their smiles from, then."

Harry flicked Draco on the nose. "Our children."

THE END