whining wagnerwi jan2015
TRANSCRIPT
S t o p T h e W h i n i n g : How To Complain Effectively W i l d W i s c o n s i n W i n t e r W e b
Conference 2015 - January 22, 2014 with Pat Wagner – sieralearn.com
C o m p l a i n i n g E f f e c t i v e l y I s N o t t h e S a m e a s W h i n i n g
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M e e t P a t • Consultant and trainer for libraries since 1978 • Speaker at ALA, PLA, LLAMA, MLA, AALL • Frequent visitor to Wisconsin libraries • Has survived her share of Wisconsin winters
• Images: pixabay.com
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Outcomes
Research and apply how decisions are made in your workplace Become more effective at solving problems Grow your reputation as a leader.
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Agenda
• Why Do People Whine • How To Talk About the Problem • Audit Your Own Behavior First • Analyze The Issue • Who Will Fix The Problem • What Do They Need
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W h y D o P e o p l e W h i n e ?
• Other people are doing it. Whiny employees mimic the behavior of whiny supervisors, and vice versa! • We don’t know how to ask for what we want. • We want change without taking responsibility. • We get attention and bonding.
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• We are putting off making a difficult decision. • We want people and situations to change, but we don’t want to do anything differently. • We feel helpless in the face of authority; we don’t believe people in power care.
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W h i n i n g i s c o n t a g i o u s C a n i t s t o p w i t h y o u ?
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H o w T o T a l k A b o u t t h e P r o b l e m
How We Make Things Worse
• Exaggeration • Escalation • Embellishment • Inaccuracy: not checking the facts • Generalizations: oversimplification
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R e d u c e t h e d r a m a
The Voice of Reason
• Only repeat what is true • Physical evidence • Concrete descriptions Avoid adjectives and adverbs Avoid abstractions • Numbers
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Translation
• She ignored me. • The mayor hates libraries. • No one likes the new collection policy. • Everyone is upset about the change in hours. • My experience means nothing to the board.
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Translation
• She did not speak to me. • The city has a 10% shortfall • I don’t like the new collection policy. • I am upset about the change in hours. • I might not get the promotion.
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A u d i t Y o u r O w n B e h a v i o r F i r s t
Build Your Credibility
• Trustworthy and reliable • Self-starter and pro-active • Low maintenance and even-tempered • Hard-working and productive
What would you add?
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Time To Be Quiet • Is what you want to say: Productive Contributes to the solution Supports other people’s success Something you will never regret
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A n a l y z e t h e I s s u e
Plan
• Research • Write it down • Ask for real help • Come up with multiple strategies
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Mistakes
• Don’t have the facts, just opinions and feelings • No written plan, so ideas, decisions, and actions
are not nailed down: Flailing! • Don’t ask for advice and help • Don’t build a team • Only relying on one strategy
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W h o W i l l F i x t h e P r o b l e m
The Governance Game
• Who gets to make decisions? • What decisions do they get to make? • How are decisions made? • Who implements those decisions?
Do you know the “real” organizational chart?
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T h e m y t h o f t h e c o m m i t t e e
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W h a t D o T h e y N e e d
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H o w d o y o u m a k e i t e a s y f o r t h e d e c i s i o n - m a k e r s t o y e s ?
Convince Me!
• Empathy for my position • What are my priorities? • Who do I have to please? • What are my selling points?
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Selling Points
• Money: fiscally conservative • Status: influence in the community • Reputation: state and national awards • Stability: making no waves • Fame: innovation and experimentation
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N e x t S t e p s
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Resources
• Discipline without Punishment, Dick Grote • Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher and William Ury • How To Raise Your Self-Esteem, N. Branden • Learned Optimism, Martin Seligman • Don’t Shoot the Dog, Karen Pryor • Becoming a Manager, Linda Hill
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Contact
• sieralearn.com • [email protected] • twitter: @pat2pattern and @sieralearnteach • facebook: Pat Wagner • LinkedIn: Pat Wagner • Google+: Pat Wagner • librarything.com: patternresearch
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