By Ben ErwinS T A F F W R I T E R

The 46th annual GrammyAwards will air this 8 p.m. Sundayon CBS, and the real unansweredquestion is not who will win or lose,but just how big of a disappoint-ment will the show be.

For years, the Grammys havebattled accusations of mediocrityand its voters being out of touch,and viewership of the show hasbeen on a steady decline for yearsas Grammy credibility hasdropped like a lead balloon.

According to Nielsen ratings,the Grammys have been watchedby fewer and fewer people eachyear for half a decade. The truecause of the decline, however, isstill undetermined and sees no signof stopping despite the academy’sattempts to bring younger acts.

Last year’s Grammys werewatched by nearly 55 million peo-ple, but that is still a decline ofnearly 10 percent from the previ-ous year and nearly another 10percent compared to 2001.

For the most part, the decline inviewership can simply be chalkedup to viewer apathy.

“I won’t be watching them,” saidmusic theory and composition pro-fessor Aaron Hunt. “I’m not thatinterested in the Grammys.”

This sentiment is echoed bym a n y, even music fans, as theawards themselves carry littleweight with anyone serious aboutthe music business or entertain-ment, in general.

“The Grammys have alwaysbeen a boring exercise inr e s p e c t a b i l i t y,” said speech com-munication professor JoeHeumann. “As long as rock androllers and hip-hop stayed away, itwas a nice night for the geriatricset, who could enjoy watchingtheir favorite crooner get someaward. I’d rather do laundry thanhave to sit through such torture.”

Boring but profitableWhile viewership is steadily on

the decline, CBS still sells theinternational rights to the show fora whopping $100 million, accord-ing to Grammys.com. Along withthe commercial viability of thepublishing rights, a win at the

Grammys often equates to greatersales for winning artists the fol-lowing week.

“ I t ’s a huge stimulus for sales,”noted former president ofM e r c u r y, Warner Bros. andAtlantic Records Danny Goldbergin the December issue of “Salon.”

One week after the awards show,Bob Dylan, Shawn Colvin andPaula Cole enjoyed big sales gainsafter performing and winning inkey categories at the GrammyAwards in 2000. Artists like multi-ple Grammy winner Norah Jonesrode her success through all of

2003, as her record, “Come Aw a yWith Me,” stayed in Billboard’sHot 100 nearly the entire year.

On average, the Grammy tele-cast increased sales for the artistswho either won orperformed by 15percent, according to a report in“ Variety” in February 2003.

A Grammy win can hurt, howev-e r, in genres where mainstreamsuccess can be seen by fans as asellout in credibility.

In 1996 when New York rapperNaughty By Nature won the inau-gural presentation for best rapalbum, sales of the group’s album

dropped nearly 30 percent accord-ing to SoundScan figures. Whilethe drop in sales may have beenmerely inevitable, the decline wasmore than coincidence.

No respectOne reason the Grammys

receive little respect, both in theindustry and by fans, is the annoy-ing trend of either rewarding thesame artists year after year, orsimply bypassing influentialartists completely.

For example, Aretha Franklin

has won 11 Grammy Awards forBest R&B Vocal PerformanceFemale including eight years in arow from 1968 to 1975. Vince Gillhas also won seven GrammyAwards for Best Country Vo c a lPerformance Male including fiveyears in a row from 1995 to 1999.

Lenny Kravitz won the BestRock Vocal Performance, MaleGrammy four years in a row from1999 to 2002. Other back-to backwinners include Frank Sinatra,who won Album of the Year twoyears in a row in 1966 and 1967,beating out influential members ofthe so-called British invasion. Theonly other man to repeat this featwas Stevie Wo n d e r, who won in1974 and 1975.

The Grammys are also famousfor a number of notable snubs.Possibly the most well-knownexample of this is in 1991 whenJethro Tull beats out Metallica’s“…And Justice for All” in the inau-gural year of Best Metal Album.The Grammy committee thenatoned for their blunder by award-ing Metallica the award in the nextthree successive years.

Other notable examples of grossineptitude include The Beatles’“White Album” being beat out forAlbum of the Year by “The Girlfrom Impanema.” The Beatles lostagain in 1965, when the Anita KerrQ u a r t e t ’s obscure “We DigMancini” demolished The Beatles’“Help!” in the Best PerformanceBy A Vocal Group category.

Queen never won a Grammy,and the Best New Artist categoryis often a literal kiss of death asgroups like Taste of Honey,Christopher Cross, ArrestedDevelopment and a slew of othershave won the award only to dropinto obscurity forever.

“I tend to think that the TV spec-tacle detracts from the awards andglamorizes the latest trendymoney makers,” said Easternmusic professor Gary Jensen. “Imay seem cynical, but I feel theyrecognize those that make themost money. ”

Until awards shows are weededout or Grammy voters changetheir policy or taste, the Grammys,although one of the biggest awardsshows of the year, will remain oneof the consistently biggest disap-p o i n t m e n t s .

F r i d a y, Fe b r u a ry6, 2 0 0 4 O N T H E V E R G E O F T H E W E E K E N D � T H E D A I LY E A S T E R N N E W S 7 B

The Grammys: an exercise in award show futility

Who will take home Grammy gold?By Ben ErwinS T A F F W R I T E R

The first Grammy Award cere-mony was held on May 4, 1959, inthe Grand Ballroom of theBeverly Hills Hotel. There were amere 28 award categories at thec e r e m o n y ’s inception.

Since then, however, the cere-mony has ballooned to a whop-ping 105 categories honoringeveryone from the musicians toproducers to the people responsi-ble for linear notes accompany-ing albums.

All this really means is nearlyanyone even remotely associatedwith the music business mayeventually be up for a Grammy.And if tracking the Grammys hasshown anything, it’s that the menand women behind the awardsoften play favorites each year,stacking nominations toward spe-cific artists.

Beyonce, her better half Jay-Zand Atlanta hip hoppers OutKasttop the 2004 nominees with sixeach, while 50 Cent, LutherVandross and pseudo-altrock popstars Evanescence all receivedfive Grammy nods.

Who may actually run awaywith the night’s top awards is any-o n e ’s guess, but here is one man’spredictions on who will be takingstatue gold away from America’smost mediocre award show:

Record of the Year: Andthe nominees are…

�“Crazy In Love”

Beyoncé Featuring Jay-Z�“Where Is The Love?”The Black Eyed Peas & Justin

Ti m b e r l a k e�“ C l o c k s ”C o l d p l a y�“Lose Yo u r s e l f ”E m i n e m�“Hey Ya ! ”O u t K a s t

And the winner is:O u t K a s t

“Hey Ya” willwin if only tocelebrate oneof the mostprurient pophits in recentmemory whoselyrics flew well

below the radar of the averagegeriatric, top 40-loving Grammyv o t e r.

Album of the Year: Andthe nominees are…

�“Under Construction”Missy Elliott�“ F a l l e n ”E v a n e s c e n c e�“Speakerboxxx/The Love

B e l o w ”O u t K a s t�“ J u s t i f i e d ”Justin Ti m b e r l a k e�“ E l e p h a n t ”The White Stripes

And the winner is:Justin Timberlake will probably

win for hismediocre andd i s p o s a b l ebrand of blue-eyed soul that’salways soendearing toGrammy vot-

ers, but the award rightfullybelongs to The White Stripes evenif they are the most overhyped,overrated one-trick pony in thepast 30 years.

Song of the Year: And thenominees are…

�“ B e a u t i f u l ”Linda Perry, songwriter

(Christina Aguilera)�“Dance With My Father”Richard Marx & Luther

Vandross, songwriters (LutherVa n d r o s s )

�“I’m With Yo u ”Avril Lavigne & The Matrix,

songwriters (Avril Lavigne)�“Keep Me In Your Heart”Jorge Calderón & Warren Zevon,

songwriters (Warren Zevon)�“Lose Yo u r s e l f ”J. Bass, M. Mathers & L. Resto,

songwriters (Eminem)

And the winner is:A g u i l e r a

already ownsm u l t i p l eGrammys, sothat mayendear her tovoters. Butwhat Grammy

voters love more than anything istrying to look hip even if it makesthem look stupid. Zevon and Em goto-to-toe for this one with Eminemcoming out on top.

And if Lavigne wins, the finalsign of the apocalypse has come;bring on the blood-red sun andmassive catastrophe.

Best new artist: And thenominees are…

�E v a n e s c e n c e�50 Cent�Fountains Of Wa y n e�Heather Headley�Sean Paul

And the winner is:For starters,

Fountains ofWayne hasa l r e a d yreleased threealbums, so thegroup is auto-matically dis-qualified in my

b o o k .As much as it hurts to admit, the

human cockroach known as 50Cent will almost definitely bringthis one home. And if he wins allfive categories in which he is nom-inated Sunday night, he can finallygold plate his requisite bulletproofvest in the ultimate display ofb l i n g .

Best Hard RockPerformance: And the

nominees are…�“Like A Stone”A u d i o s l a v e�“Bring Me To Life”Evanescence Featuring Paul

M c C o y�“Straight Out Of Line”G o d s m a c k�“Just Because”J a n e ’s Addiction�“Go With The Flow”Queens Of The Stone Age

And the winner is:Kudos to

Grammy vot-ers for nomi-nating one ofthe softestand mostu n r o c k i n gtracks onA u d i o s l a v e ’s

self-titled debut, but the categoryis “HARD rock” for a reason.

And while it would be wonder-ful to see a beautifully subver-sive acceptance speech fromA u d i o s l a v e ’s outspoken guitaristTom Morello, Queens of the StoneAge are easily the hardest rock-ing of this bunch. And theprospect of Stone Ages’ JoshHomme coming on stage with acigarette in one hand and a drinkin the other to flip off the audi-ence is too good to miss.

Most of this, however, is merewishful thinking as Wa r r e nZevon, Eminem and 50 will prob-ably run away with more thanthey deserve and again disap-point fans and the industry.

P H O T O C O L L A G E C O U R T E S Y O F G R A M M Y. C O M

The Grammys are a place where many artists showcase their talents live in front of one of the largest annualaudiences. Recent performers include No Doubt, U2, Elvis Costello, Norah Jones and a host of others.