Why did this opening paragraph receive a Grammar Grade of 0?

• Experience changes a person. The more things you go through in life, the more changes you will make. In Master Harold and the Boys by Athol Fugard, the characters go through many changes. The character of Hally changes. He changes by going from a friendly person in the beginning to a mean person in the end. In Master Harold and the Boys by Athol Fugard, Hally changes the most.

Why did this opening paragraph receive a Grammar Grade of 0 or 1?

• Experience changes a person. The more things you go through in life, the more changes you will make. In Master Harold and the Boys by Athol Fugard, the characters go through many changes. The character of Hally changes. He changes by going from a friendly person in the beginning to a mean person in the end. In Master Harold and the Boys by Athol Fugard, Hally changes the most.

RubricsContent Organization Grammar

Level of understanding Proper usage of components of writing

Range of appropriate vocabulary

Coherence Proper order of components of writing

Range of appropriate sentence structures

Sophistication of explanations

Grammar and syntax

Quality of evidence Punctuation and spelling

Why would this opening paragraph also receive a 0 as a Grammar Grade?

• A dynamic character is a character that changes due to the plot of the story. A character who stays the same through a story is not interesting to a reader. Dynamic characters are necessary to make a story interesting. In “’Master Harold’… and the Boys” by Athol Fugard, three characters were each going through changes. Willie doesn’t seem to be a major character in the play because he is silent through most of it, but, at the end, he is the only character who changes in his actions rather than his words. In “’Master Harold’… and the boys’ by Athol Fugard, Willie was a dynamic character because he is the only character who has been through a dynamic change.

Why would this opening paragraph also receive a 0 as a Grammar Grade?

• A dynamic character is a character that changes due to the plot of the story. A character who stays the same through a story is not interesting to a reader. Dynamic characters are necessary to make a story interesting. In “’Master Harold’… and the Boys” by Athol Fugard, three characters were each going through changes. Willie doesn’t seem to be a major character in the play because he is silent through most of it, but, at the end, he is the only character who changes in his actions rather than his words. In “’Master Harold’… and the boys’ by Athol Fugard, Willie was a dynamic character because he is the only character who has been through a dynamic change.

Find These Verbs in Your Paper:• Swap papers with someone in your group.• Take an orange highlighter and highlight each time you see one

of these words:

• Don’t forget contractions:– It’s = it is– Hally’s changing = Hally is changing.

Active Voice

Defining “Voice”

• “Voice” refers to the characteristic of verbs which indicates the relation of the verb’s action to its subject.

• The voice of a verb may be either “active” or “passive.”

Three Necessary Components to Every Sentence:

• Subject: The thing that does the action.

• Verb: The action.• Object: The thing

acted upon.

Active Voice• Use active voice verbs

when the subject acts in a sentence.

• Example:– Cindy steered the

boat...• “Steered” takes the

role of the active verb because it allows the subject to undertake an action.

Active Voice

• The Subject Verbs The Object.– “The boy kicked the

ball...”– “Hally returns to the

Tea Room...”– “Piggy displays the

characteristics of a true leader...”

Passive Voice

• The object is being verbed by the subject.– “The ball is being

kicked by the boy.”– “The tea room is the

place that Hally returns to.”

– “The characteristics of a true leader is what Piggy displays.”

Signifiers of Passive Voice (don’t forget contractions and negatives)

• “be”• “been”• “being”• “is”/ “isn’t”• “was”/ “wasn’t”• “were”/ “weren’t”• “are”/ “aren’t”• “am” or “am not”

So What?• Although both constructions

are grammatically correct, the active voice reflects confidence within the writer – a necessary component in literary critique and business writing.

• Passive voice writing leads short and choppy sentences – affecting your Grammar Rubric grade.

“The best character in the play is Hally. He is the character who

changes the most. In the beginning he was happy and easy-going, but by the end of the play he had changed

to an angry person, just like his father is.”

VERSUS

“Hally best fits the characteristics of a dynamic character because he

changes the most. Fugard portrays Hally as an easy-going and happy character who transforms into an

angry person – mirroring the characteristics of his father.”

So what? (cont’d)

• Passive leads to confusion in long-winded sentences.

• Passive voice often creates a sound of doubt within the writer’s voice .

• As a writer, your writing must create an aura of authority and confidence in your writing.

“Usually when there’s a conflict involved in a story there’s most likely going to be a dynamic character. In the play there’s a lot of conflict and

every character changes dramatically.”

VERSUS

“Story conflict creates dramatic changes within its characters, creating dynamic characters.”

Passive Voice: Worst Sentences Ever

• The Progressive Conditional Perfect:– “I would have been being

across the street if that were to have happened.”

• The Progressive Indicative Pluperfect:– “I had been being mean to

her for a long time by that point.”

One of the Few Allowances of Active Voice• Use passive voice when the

subject (the action’s doer) remains unknown.

• Avoid missing subjects as much as possible – it sounds weak.Examples– “Mistakes were made.” –

President Bush on the War in Iraq.

– The ball was hit.– The town was quarantined.– Who is on the phone?

Review• Active: The subject verbs

the object:– Marvin hit the ball.

• Passive: The object was being verbed by the subject.– The ball was hit by Marvin

Easy Fix #1: Verbs with Value

• Find a better verb than “to be” – one that heightens value as well as the action.– Hally is a dynamic character.– Hally possesses the characteristics of a

dynamic character.

Easy Fix #2: Flip the Subject and Object

• The tea room is the place that Hally enters in the beginning of the play.

• Hally enters the tea room in the beginning of the play.

Easy Fix #3: Add the Subject

• Piggy is an outcast on the island who nobody takes seriously.

• Golding made Piggy an outcast on the island.

Easy Fix #4: Apply the Tense to the Second Verb.

• Because he had chosen to stop Sam from hitting Hally, it proves that Willie drastically changed.

• Because he chose to stop Sam from hitting Hally, it proves that Willie drastically changed.

Not So Easy Fix #5: Combine Short and Choppy Sentences (write better).

• “Hally is a seventeen year old. He has been friends with Sam and Willie for years.”

• “The seventeen-year old Hally’s friendship with Sam and Willie goes back to his childhood.”

Quick Test: Change the Following to Active Voice

• “When Sam is threatening to hit Hally, it proves that he had changed.”

• “Willie and Sam are black Africans. They are living in the height of Apartheid.”

• “When Ralph was blowing the conch, the choir of boys were visible on the beach.”

• “Golding was trying to show us what happens when the rules of society are removed from our environment.”

• “The character of Roger is the opposite of Simon, he is a perfect example of pure evil.”

Stuck on Passive Sentences?• Make a T-chart . Name

the left column “passive” and the right column “active”.

• Write your top three most difficult passive sentences (leave the active side blank – even if you switched the sentence to active).

Passive Active