WHY FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL IF WE CAN COLLABORATE FOR SUCCESS?

BARNEY JORDAAN

What does the word CONFLICT remind you of?

#experiencevlerick

3

QUIZCONFLICT AS AN OYSTER

Oysters and conflict have something in common: a little irritation can produce a thing of beauty.

Thompson, Butkus & Boudreau (2016) ’The Right Kind of Conflict Leads to Better Products’ HBR

#experiencevlerick

4

Our typical responses to conflict

#experiencevlerick

7 #experiencevlerick

YET WE HAVE RANGE OF PROCESS OPTIONS

#experiencevlerick

Amicable Adversarial

Dialogue Negotiation FacilitationMediation Others decide

Power

Control over process & outcome

Loss of control over process, outcome or both

Control over outcome

Understanding conflict

‘Conflict’ arises when one person feels that his / herneeds are not being recognised or met by another.

It may be real, or perceived, visible or hidden

DEFINITION

#experiencevlerick

3 DIMENSIONS ARE ALWAYS PRESENT

11

PROBLEM

PEOPLE

PROCESS

Use behaviours that promote amicable resolution

Manage the emotions and interpersonal issues

Focus on the underlying concerns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQmdoK_ZfY

EASIER SAID THAN DONE …

#experiencevlerick

13

THE CONFLICT PATH

Causes

Mitigators Aggravators

Positive outcomes Negative outcomes

Conflict and the brain

#experiencevlerick

HERE’S THE CULPRIT

16

System 2

System1

SYSTEMS 1 & 2

#experiencevlerick

SYSTEM 1

#experiencevlerick

black blue grey red

pink brown purple

orange white yellow red

#experiencevlerick

SYSTEM 2: WELCOME TO SLOW THINKING

black blue grey red

pink brown purple

orange white yellow red

#experiencevlerick

StopListenObserveWise response

‘SLOW’

#experiencevlerick

A better way of dealing with differences

EXERCISE

#experiencevlerick

Wi-fi: Vlerick – Login: jump - Password: 1234 Mobile APP: jumpbrussels Twitter: @JumpEquality #JUMP2017

HOW DO WE GET FROM THIS….

24

TO THIS?

WE NEED TO DEVELOP A DIFFERENT ‘MENTAL MODEL’ OR ‘MINDSET’ ABOUT CONFLICT

Assumptions- Conflict- People- Problem- Process

Strategy Behaviour Results

#experiencevlerick

Develop a definition of conflict that is entirely positive,

e.g.: ‘Conflict is an opportunity to …’

CHANGING YOUR PERCEPTION OF CONFLICTREDEFINING CONFLICT

#experiencevlerick

Nothing great is achieved without some conflict. Conflict sharpens the senses; it invites full engagement in solving importan

Enrique Conterno, Senior Vice President, Lilly Diabetes, quoted in Thompson et al, (2016) ’The Right Kind of Conflict Leads tHBR

#experiencevlerick

What to do when conflict happens

#experiencevlerick

1. PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!

UNDERSTAND YOUR CONFLICT PROFILE

30

C O O P E R A T I V E N E S S high

high

low

low

Competing / Dominating

Joint Problem-solving

AvoidingAccommodating /

Obliging

Source: Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument

2. BE CONSCIOUS OF YOUR CONFLICT STYLE & ADAPT IF NECESSARY

#experiencevlerick

3. PAY ATTENTION TO ALL 3 DIMENSIONS

31

PROBLEM

PEOPLE

PROCESSFocus on the underlying concerns

Use behaviours that promote amicable resolution

Manage the emotions and interpersonal issues

4. SLOW DOWN: ACTIVATE THE ‘PAUSE’ BUTTON!

Enquire

Dialogue

Stimulus

#experiencevlerick

33

• Ask questions (especially open-ended ones)

• Empathise

• Be prepared to apologise if necessary

• Separate the person from the problem

• Listen in a way that will encourage them to talk

(‘active listening)

• Talk in a way that will encourage them to listen

(‘active talking’)

5. ADOPT POSITIVE BEHAVIOURS

#experiencevlerick

6. TAKE THEIR PERSPECTIVE

If you want to

change their minds,

you have to know

where their minds

are …

#experiencevlerick

35

7. INVEST IN POST CONFLICT RECONCILIATION

#experiencevlerick

• Stop, breathe, and think

• Acknowledge the conflict

• Buy some time to prepare

• Take it somewhere else

• Keep it respectful

IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO PREPARE

#experiencevlerick

Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.

Max Lucado

#experiencevlerick

REMEMBER ….

Don’t sacrifice tomorrow to win yesterday

John Zinsser

#experiencevlerick

YET, WHATEVER YOU DO…..

© Vlerick Business School

FEEL LIKE SOME MORE?

▪ Executive MBA Programme (start: 12 October)

▪ Negotiating to Create Value (start: 3 May)

▪ Negotiate for Success (start 16 May) 100% online

▪ Executive Development programme (start: 16 May)

▪ Or contact us for a customised programme for your company

#experiencevlerick