why grace is amazing to me: in short

8/9/2019 Why Grace is Amazing to Me: In Short

1/15

SANGANYADO

Edmond

I have always loved reading and

naturally writing became my passion. Like

thousands of people worldwide, I had a

story to tell. But being an African had

its limitations. There is a script

written for an African writer to be

accepted in the literary world. I was

required to write about poverty,

diseases, wars and hunger. I ha d an

option to stick to the script o r endure

oblivion. I chose obscurity.

The story of why I write, what I

write, where I write and how I write is

an intriguing discourse on w hy grace is

amazing. I began writing whe n I was

embroiled in the heretical teachings of

pr osperity theology and my writingreflected that. Since writin g demands I

research, through grace I l earned of the

authentic good news. Writing is my

journey into the depth of th e love of

God. I have written in two di fferent

continents, but the message has not

changed. God is still good and gr ace is

still amazing.


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1

our years ago, in my small

office in Zimbabwe, I

started blogging and that

marked the beginning of my journey in

the virtual world. Internet was erratic,

power cuts and congestion hurled

their demotivating shrapnel, daily. I

worked at a local university, the only

place in town I could access stable

internet free. So, I used to write my

articles in my office on campus.

They were contingencies, of

course. I could only use the internet

early in the morning or late at night.

F C ONTENTS Introduction .................................... 1

Coming To America ........................ 3

Finding A Home .............................. 5

Drifting ............................................ 7

A Message From The Heart ........... 8

How Amazing Is Grace? ............... 10

Victory Over Sin ........................... 12

Conclusion ..................................... 14

I NTRODUCTION


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As a newlywed, surfing after sunset

was not an option, my wife would skin

me alive. On Monday, Tuesday,

Thursday and Saturday, or something

like that, I would wake up before

sunrise and rush to campus. These

were the only days we had power in

the morning. The desire to share my

thoughts with world compelled me to

brace the colds, and at times rain

every morning.

My new wife

was not happy

about the

arrangement,

especially the idea

of going to office on

a Saturday

morning. There were days she would

come hard on me and I would suspend

writing for a while, but old habits die

hard. Writing was a spear that pierced

me and broke inside my flesh. There

was no way I could give up.

Unexpected events often stopped

me on my tracks. There was a day, I

battled the darkness and ran to

campus, about 2 miles or more. I

arrived at my office and began pouring

my heart on my blog. Before I could

hit the publish button, darkness

wrapped my office, out of the blue.

There was a power cut and everything

was lost. I kicked the table, the wall

and everything that could not break

until my feet hurt. With a limb I

braced the darkness and walked 2

miles home, angry

and disappointed.

The power cuts

and unstable

internet

disappointed me, but

I kept on writing. I

do not know whether

I wrote because I had something to

say or something to learn. All I know,

writing became an obsession. Every

Sunday I would sit at church and take

down notes as the pastor taught. I

would go back home and search for

other scriptures that support or refute

what he said. That same week I would

write a condensed or expanded version

Writing was a spear that piercedme and broke inside my flesh.

There was no way I could give up.


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communication through the favor of

God sustained our marriage that was

separated by at least eleven thousand

kilometers.

Although, I had a lot going on, I

never stopped writing. Every

opportunity I had, I would sit down

and write. The Lord continued pouring

in my life. There were times I was low

and I needed encouragement, I would

sit down and read the word. The Lord

was faithful to me and He would

encourage me. It was during this time,

I learned about how David encouraged

himself in the Lord when his city,

Ziklag, was destroyed and his family

and wealth taken. Occasionally, as I

walked to campus, I would encourage

myself in the Lord. The resulting

words of comfort, I would translate in

to blog articles.

After settling in America, having

found a church and a place to stay, I

began preparations for my wife to join.

I saved enough money for her plane

ticket and all she needed was a visa to

join me. It was late at night when she

arrived at the consular office in

Harare, Zimbabwe. We had prayed

together before, but she was denied

the visa. They wanted proof of medical

insurance. You can only purchase

medical insurance after you have

arrived in the US. It was an excuse for

denying her the visa. I was

devastated.

God, why did you bring me to

such a kind of place, when you knew

my wife would not join me? I

questioned Gods intellect and

faithfulness. Hope deferred makes the

soul sick. I was angry and

heartbroken. But God .... In the middle

of my disappointment the Lord stood

The grace of the Lord willnever take you where it cannot

keep you.


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by my side and reminded me, The

grace of the Lord will never take you

where it cannot keep you. For a little

while, I was at peace, I knew God

knew better and had a better plan for

my family, even if it meant waiting

longer before my wife could join me.

Two months later, Surprise gave

birth to Tino and seven months later,

my wife received the visa and three

days later she was in a plane to

California. That was the happiest day

of my life. A little side note. As the

days drew nearer for her to go for a

visa interview, the price for the plane

ticket for Surprise and Tino, began

dropping. The day she collected the

visa, she went and bought the ticket at

a ridiculously low price. The Lord

watched over my family.

here is no place like home,

but as a child of God, I have

home in every corner of the

world. A few weeks before I left

Zimbabwe, I contacted churches close

to the university I was going to attend

in the US. One church responded to

me, and I was convinced the church

was the place I would call home. I was

wrong. On my first Saturday at my

new college, I sent an email to the

church. No one responded, even the

follow up email. No one responded,

four years later. I missed home.

There were times I loathed waking

up to a world that was foreign and

confusing. I was alone. For the first

week, I searched for an apartment,

and I could not afford any. With no

place to stay or believers to fellowship

with, I was lost. Yet, in the loneliness,

I had a friend, I kept writing. I wrote

T

F INDING A H OME


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about the Lord who promised He

would not leave me. These were not

mere thoughts or musings of a lonely

soul, but recollections on the glorious

presence of the Lord. Jesus Christ was

with me.

God gave me the grace to write,

not only to share the truth that He

teaches me, but for me to learn about

His

goodness

and grow

in the

knowledge

of Jesus.

Although I

became a

lost sheep

in an

Amazon jungle, I did not stop writing.

I was writing for myself, to encourage

myself and to remind myself of the

goodness of the Lord. The Lord kept

showing great favor to me, He opened

my eyes to His word.

There was an intriguing

dichotomy in the church. The message

was horrible most of the times. It was

the celebrity self-help motivational

teachings devoid of any life-

giving truth. The jokes and

anecdotes were the only take

home most of the weeks.

However, for the first time I

witnessed true brotherly

kindness. Most of the

believers showered me with

love. It was amazing. There is

no family that is perfect, I told

myself. At last, I felt at home.

God gave me the grace to write, notonly to share the truth that Heteaches me, but for me to learn

about His goodness and grow in theknowledge of Jesus.


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efore I began my journey to

America, I read about the

letters to the seven

churches. The picture of the seven

lampstands stuck in my head. It is

now four years, and I still have the

image. Each

stand

represented

one of the

Asian

churches, of

which only

one had a

good report.

John did not see the lampstands only,

he also saw Christ in the middle of the

stands. Although the churches had

defects, serious defects, Christ

remained at the center of the church. I

wish I would remember that every day

of my life.

After I joined a local church, the

first few weeks were honeymoon. The

music was at first great, before the

emptiness and lip service became

more real. After a few months, I began

to see the lies, pretense, and absence

of Christlikeness in the church. For

the first time, the mythical

commercial

Christianity

became a

reality. A

critical, big

brother

spirit took

over. I did

not notice.

As I read my posts now, I realize a

year after arriving in the US, my style

and content changed; I began writing

from the head and not the heart. I

became a teacher and not a learner.

As the days went by, I became the

person I hated, a traffic sign pointing

to the beach, but with no dream of

ever being there. Each week, I would

B

D RIFTING

Even in the commercialized church, Jesus Christis present, not because He endorses the wrongdoctrines, but because His goodness leads torepentance and His grace trains us into all

godliness.


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meet people who read my posts who

would share the great things that they

learned. However, I was not learning

anything, my confidence in the word

had become my obstacle (1

Corinthians 10:12).

How foolish I had become. I had

forgotten the grace of God, the same

grace that saved me. Before Christ

came in to my life, I was worse than a

mortuary mop. There was nothing

admirable about me. Yet, through my

ungraciousness and critical spirit, the

speck in the local churches ripped me

off an opportunity to worship God.

Even in the commercialized church,

Jesus Christ is present, not because

He endorses the wrong doctrines, but

because His goodness leads to

repentance and His grace trains us

into all godliness. Only the sick church

needs Jesus who is the physician.

have always been a reader,

reading at least 30 books

per year. It is quite

surprising I never stopped to ask

myself why I read. I was a slave to

knowledge and each day I strived to

acquire as much knowledge as I could.

Reading is good, but I embroiled in

idolatry. I lost my compass writing

book reviews, in the process making

friends and enemies.

Towards the end of 2014, I made a

resolution that would change

everything. I sat down in my living

room and told myself I was going to

write from the heart. If sin were in my

heart, I would write about that. If I

were struggling in my faith, I would

document that as well. This demanded

honesty, brutal honesty and at times

making myself vulnerable. I had to

open my wounds before the world, not

I

A M ESSAGE F ROM T HE H EART


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to seek sympathy from fellow sick

people, but to show the Physician who

is more than willing to heal.

I began writing about my

frustrations with the publishing

industry, my loathing of charitable

organization, my horrible encounters

with missionaries, my encounters with

God in Africa and my conversations

with God. These were issues on my

heart and

were dear

to me. My

reasons for

writing

were

selfish, and

are still

selfish. I no longer write to teach, but

to learn. When I write about churches

stealing from people, I have me in

mind because I know one day I will be

that pastor and I need to remember

not to steal. I ask myself if I am not

stealing from my bosses, my children

and my wife, these are my church

members too. It is true, I have learnt a

lot.

Many people across the globe took

note of the honesty and they began

following the new blog. I was elated,

but pride lurked around the corner. As

the numbers got more impressive and

the statistics beyond average, I was

distracted again. I am glad, this time

Christ was quick to remind me, to

remain meek and

continue to learn. The

comments written on

every post I write,

questioning the veracity

of the thoughts or

lauding the lessons kept

me humble. I am

honored to have such an army of

believers who are truly a brothers

keeper.

The page on my life remains the

most popular with more than 9,000

people having read it in less than 3

months. I am honored. On that page, I

have found encouragement, edification

and exhortation. Nevertheless, there

I was a slave to knowledge and eachday I strived to acquire as much

knowledge as I could. Reading is good,but I embroiled in idolatry .


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is one reader who have constantly

asked me one of the most protruding

questions. I am convinced I still do not

know the complete answer. Yet, the

partial answer I have has been a

reason of great joy to me

.

owards the end of 2008, I

sat in my house on the floor

and began talking to God. It

was during working hours, but I chose

not to go to work that day. I poured

my heart before God, and God began

showing me how he has always been

with me through all

my struggles and

victories. However,

there was something

troubling me, I had a

strong feeling there

was some unhealthy

practices and

unbiblical traditions I had embraced

over the six years I was a Christian.

These unscriptural practices where

gnawing in my spirit and obscuring

the glory of God in my life.

Around that time, God answered

my prayer. I walked in to a local

Christian library, on TV was a man

teaching on the how God loves us and

how grace and truth came through

Jesus Christ. I had

never heard that

before, I borrowed a

DVD by the

preacher from the

library. Since then,

the Bible became

alive again. I no

longer saw God as a mean kid with a

magnifying glass. He was now my

father. For the first time, John

T

H OW A MAZING IS G RACE ?

Grace is the expression of Godslove and peace is the impression

of Gods love.


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Newtons hymn began to make sense,

Amazing Grace.

It is now 6 years since I heard the

news of how Christ loves me without

the need of the demands of traditions

of man. I will be lying if I say I did not

pick up other unhealthy practices

along the way. Hence, when I was

asked how amazing grace is, it gave

me another opportunity to sit down

before God and ask him, How

amazing is your grace, God? It is easy

for me to pour my opinion on Gods

grace, but it is expedient for Christ to

show me how glorious is His grace.

In the last six years, I spent time

trying to define what grace was. Yes, I

came up with a cute little definition

and a fancy quote, but in the process

bottling Jesus Christ into a myopic

concept of grace. Who am I to limit the

character or even the attributes of the

preeminent One through a bunch of

words accessible to my finite mind? I

wrote posts and even a book, with the

statement grace is the expression of

Gods love and peace is the impression

of Gods love prominent on every page.

It sounded true, yet limiting the true

nature of God by cramming love into

an expression and impression. If grace

is truly amazing, it should be greater

than a mere expression.

CCCChhhhrrrroooonnnniiiicccclllleeee ooooffff aaaa Kid Next DoorKid Next DoorKid Next DoorKid Next Door

I am a kid from next door, we meet in the streets, on the bus and at timesI sit next to you at church. Yes, I am just the other guy who believe inJesus, but struggles with doubt, faith and graduate research. I am weak,not smart enough and at times foolish, the only comfort I have is Christ

chose me. Every day, I remember, "His grace is sufficient for me." Thisblog contains my self-notes, reminding me of the grace of God given to meabundantly by Jesus Christ.


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As days went by, grace quickly

becoming a fad. I collected ornamental

clichs from prominent Bible teachers

from around the world. Rhymes and

rhythms replaced exhortation and

edification. Soon enough, I had a

collection of my favorite preachers. Do

not get me wrong, most of these Bible

expositors were great, they are still

great, only my heart had shifted from

the embrace of Jesus to the adulations

of man. My hearts longing was no

longer the knowledge of Jesus Christ,

but writing tweetable quotes, viral

posts and bestselling books.

When the idolatrous desires of my

heart crumbled before me like Dagon

at the feet of the Ark of the Lord,

instead of lifting my eyes to the Holy

One, grace momentarily ceased to be

amazing. I had drifted from the truth.

I kept the faade of a staunch believer,

churning out edifying and encouraging

posts on my social network and

teaching the word fervently to a couple

of Bible study groups in my

community. The water was warm, but

the fire had stopped burning.

In those moments of madness,

when snapping at my wife came

naturally and harassing my older son

became common, something amazing

kept happening. The few moments I

would bow before the Lord and seek

Him, He heard me. Over the next six

months, I witnessed how amazing

grace was. In the middle of sin, Christ

will stand before me with open arms

and smile at me. With sin strangling

my neck, guilt and shame painfully

suffocating me, softly He whispered in

my ears, I do not condemn you.

I am a man who study scripture, I

know what sin can do, but the threat

of death never motivated me to stop

sinning. Not only that, I have read

widely, and at times wildly or weirdly,

so I know the effect of sin to the

V ICTORY O VER S IN


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sinner, his family and friends.

However, even with such knowledge of

sin, it never stopped me from sinning.

In the moments of sorrow, as sin

defeated me, I wondered if grace was

still amazing.

As the days of struggling turned

into weeks and weeks into months, I

cried out to God, Father, I am tired of

experiencing only the grace of

forgiveness. Is

your grace not

better than

this? Indeed,

Christ did not

want to

forgive me

daily, not

because He

grew tired, but He had something

better. His grace appeared before me

to open my eyes to what lay beyond

His forgiveness, a transformed life.

Though a life of victory over sin

appeared inconceivable, I placed my

trust in God because He is the one

who works in me to do and to will.

Today as I write, I can confidently

claim, I have victory over sin, not

because of my great self-control and

thorough discipline. The Lord taught

me godliness and opened my eyes to a

reality that used to be obscure. I am

the righteousness of God, not because

of the great religious practices I do,

but through looking at what Jesus did

and becoming convinced that He did it

for me. The

pleasure of God

in exchanging

His

righteousness

with my filth

gave me the

victory.

I was

bothered by the sin and not guilt and

shame, but when grace that brings

salvation to all man appeared before it

showed me the root of my problem.

Desire. I noticed, when I was anxious

about something or disappointed it

was easy for me to fall into sin. Today,

I realize it was all because of the

As the days of struggling turned into weeksand weeks into months, I cried out to God,Father, I am tired of experiencing only

the grace of forgiveness. Is your grace notbetter than this?


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feeling of hopelessness. Hope deferred

makes the soul sick. When my hope

was threatened, I took a detour to

fulfill my desires at times by shouting

and angering my kids or upsetting my

wife, yet other times it was worse. For

example, when disappointed by my

research work, the hope for

graduating and resting made the

desire for slothfulness became my

detour.

As I wonder how amazing grace is,

I realize I cannot answer the question

without knowing how great God is.

The more I pursue that question, the

more I come to terms with the things I

do not know. It is much more than I

thought. Ironically, through the things

I do not know, I see how great and

amazing Gods grace is. I am a fool,

and I am proud of my folly. Each day,

I wake up to the knowledge of my lack

of knowledge, but I have found peace

in knowing Jesus Christ is my

knowledge. I chose to know nothing

else, but Christ and Him crucified.

If you ask me what is so amazing

about grace, I do not have the words to

answer that. All I can do is turn my

head and look back, look at my feet,

look in front and then point to the sky,

that is what grace means to me. My

past, present and future testify of the

grace of God. To me grace is not

limited to the blessings I have

received from the Lord, it also

encompasses the experiences I had

with God, not only the mountain top

moments, but also the valley

moments.

C ONCLUSION

Visit Chronicles of a Kid Next Door at,

http://www.gracemusing.com

why grace is amazing to me: in short

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