Wicklow Local Authorities

Guidelines to Grief in the Workplace

Contents

1. Introduction ....................................................................... 2

2. The Grieving Process ......................................................... 3

3. SupportingaBereavedStaffMember ................................5

• Liasingwithagrievingstaffmember ..............................5

• RemovalandFuneral ...................................................... 6

• ReturntoWork ............................................................... 6

• LongTermSupport ......................................................... 7

4. Breaking Bad News ............................................................ 9

5. DeathsAffectingtheWorkGroup ....................................10

6. ‘Difficult’orTraumaticDeath .......................................... 11

7. Being Prepared ................................................................. 11

1. Introduction

Bereavementisadifficultthoughnormallifeexperience,whichcanhaveasignificantimpactonthepersonwhosufferstheloss.Itisnotaspecialisedissueandmanagersandcolleagueshaveanimportantroletoplayinaccommodatingstaffmembersduringbereavementandintheirsubsequentgrief.

WicklowLocalAuthoritiesBereavementPolicyprovidesareferencepointformanagersandemployees,outliningstandardsatatimeofdistressforthestaffmemberandpotentialawkwardnessforthemanager.Aswithallorganisationalpoliciesandprocedures,a writtenpolicyensuresafairandconsistentapproachin managingsituations.Howeverunlikeotherpoliciesadegreeof flexibilityisneededininterpretingthepolicy.Circumstanceswill differandnotwostaffmemberswillhavethesameexperienceorneedsatatimeofloss.Noassumptionscanbemadeandno‘onesizefitsall’policyispossible.

Thisguidelinedocumentisintendedasanadditionalaidto managersandstaffcopingwithgriefintheworkplace.Itraises variousissues,whichyoumaywanttothinkaboutinassistingyourstaffmemberorcolleagueduringtheirtimeofloss.

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2. The Grieving Process

Griefisaprocessthattakesalotlongerthanwemightatfirstthink.Whileitisimportanttosupportpeoplearoundtheim-mediatetimeofloss,itcanoftenbesometimelater(3,6,9or12months)beforetheimpactofthelossbeginstosinkinandsomeofwhatweknowtobenormalfeelings,behavioursandreactionscometothesurface.Thesecanincludeanger,guilt,helplessness,loneliness,anxiety,withdrawal,fatigueandtensionswithothers.Whilenormalandexpected,thesegriefreactionscannonethe-lessbedifficultandpainfulforthepersonexperiencingthemandbewilderingforthosearound.

Griefhasoftenbeendescribedasbeinglikewavesonabeach comingandgoing,andsometimesoverwhelmingaperson.Foramanagerorsupervisoritishelpfultorememberthatthisisthe normalrhythmofgriefandthatamemberofstaffwhomaybeupsetsomemonthsafteralossisnot‘losingit’or‘notcopingwell’.Theymayjustbehavingabadday,whichispartofnormalgrieving.

Itcanbeeasytoprojectontothebereavedhowwethinktheyshouldbehave.Howeveritiscrucialthatabereavedmemberofstaffshouldbeallowedtoguidetheircolleaguesintermsofthesupporttheyfeelcomfortablewiththemselves.Forsome,workcangivearespitefromgrief,forothersworkcanbeanordeal,interferingwiththeneedtotaketimeoutforgrievingandtaxingmeagrereservesofconcentration,judgementandenergy.

Itishelpfulformanagersandstafftobeawarethatgriefcan impactonconcentration,energylevelsandproductivityofa bereavedmemberofstaff,oftenforlongerthanmaybeexpectedandthatsensitivityandunderstandingisrequired.ItisimportantthatthereisgoodcommunicationbetweenthebereavedstaffmemberandtheirLineManagerespeciallyaroundworkloadetc.

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IfaManagerorSupervisorisconcernedthenitcanbehelp-fultomakethestaffmemberawareofsupportservicesavailabletothem.WithinWicklowLocalAuthoritiessuchsupportservicesinclude:

1. TheDesignatedContactPeople-BereavementSupport2. TheStaffSupportService3. TheHumanResourcesSectionandsupplementaryinformation whichtheycanprovide.

ContactdetailsforthesesupportservicesareavailablethroughtheHumanResourcesSection.

TheGrievingProcess-Whattodo· Itisveryimportanttoacknowledgethebereavedperson’s loss.Itdoesnothelptoavoidpeople.· Keepitsimpleandsaysomethingthatreflectshowyoufeel.· Keepcommunicatingwithyourbereavedcolleagueaboutthe lossandconsultthemontheirpreferencesaroundwhatto saytocolleagues,funeralarrangements,returningtowork andmanagingworkload.· Peoplemaywishtotalkabouttheirgriefortheymaywishit toremainprivate-respectboththeiropennessandtheir reticence.

TheGrievingProcess-Whatnottodo· Donotsayanythingthatminimisestheperson’sloss.· Donotsayyouknowwhatthepersonisgoingthrough,as youdon’t.Eachperson’sexperienceofgriefisindividualto them.· Donotexpectthepersontobebacktofullproductivity immediately.Griefcanpotentiallyaffectallareasofjob performancefromlevelandqualityofwork,general behaviourandeffectivenesswithotherstoattendanceand timekeeping.

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3.Supportingabereavedstaffmember

WhereastaffmemberbecomesawareofthedeathofarelativeofacolleaguetheyshouldnotifytheirSupervisororManagerunlessthebereavedstaffmemberindicatesotherwise.ThisenablestheManagerorSupervisortonotifytherelevantDirectorofServicesorEngineerwhoshouldinturninformanyotherstaffhe/shedeemsappropriate.

TheDirectorofServices/Engineer(ortheirnominee)willalso liaisewithHumanResourcesandarrangeforcondolencestobesentonbehalfoftheLocalAuthoritywherepossible.Itmaybehelpfulformanagersandstafftoconsiderthefollowingwhenacolleaguehasbeenbereaved:

• LiasingwithagrievingstaffmemberBestpractisesuggeststhatdesignatingonepersontoliaise directlywiththerecentlybereavedemployeeensures continuityandenablesasensitive,personcentredresponsefromtheOrganisation.

ResponsibilitygenerallyresideswiththeLineManager,butitcouldbedelegatedtoanotherpersondependingonthe circumstances.

Makingtheinitialcontactwithabereavedstaffmemberisanimportantfirststeptowardsprovidingsupportforthe individual.Condolencescanbeformallyoffered,assurancegiventhattheirabsenceissupportedandanyparticularneedsidentified.Itcanalsobeimportanttoidentifyastaffmembers’preferenceconcerningcommunicationofthenewsto colleaguesorattendanceatthefuneral.

Thefirstmessagethatbereavedstaffmembersoftenneedtohearisthattheymusttakewhatevertimetheyneed.Workcomessecond.Somemaywanttocomebackrelativelysoon,whileothersmayneedmoretimeoff.ArrangementsregardingleaveareusuallymadebetweenthebereavedstaffmemberandhisorherLineManager.Fulldetailsofthevariousleave entitlementsarelistedintheorganisations’BereavementPolicydocument.

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• RemovalandFuneralItwouldbenormalforanorganisationtoberepresentedbymanagementandcolleaguesatthefuneralofabereavedstaffmember.Obviouslyanywishesofthebereavedstaffmembertothecontraryshouldberespected.Whereappropriate,careshouldbetakentofacilitateworkcolleaguesinpayingtheirrespects,asthishelpsboththestaffmemberandhis/her colleaguestobegintocometotermswiththeloss.

• ReturntoworkAbereavedstaffmembers’returntoworkwillbeindividualtothemandtheirneeds.Somemayfindithelpfultovisittheworkplacebeforetheycomeback,ifonlytoseetheManagerandmaybehaveachatwithcolleaguestobreaktheice. Comingbackpart-timeforthefirstweekortwocanalsoworkwellandshouldbeagreedinadvancewiththestaffmembers’Line ManagerinconsultationwithHumanResourcesandbyadvisementofaMedicalPractitioner.

Concentrationmaybeconsiderablyreducedintheearlyweeks.Wheresafetyisanissueorwheretightdeadlinesorotherstressfulsituationsareunavoidable,waysofprotectingthememberofstaff(andothers)intheshorttermshouldbe explored.

Thefollowingisalistofthingstoconsiderwhenabereavedperson returns to work:

Do· Acknowledgetheloss· Encouragethemtotalkiftheywantto· Respectboththeirreticenceandtheiropenness· Askandlistentowhatthebereavedpersonsneedsare· Beawarethatgriefisanaturalprocessofreactionand adjustmenttolossandchange· Beawarethatstrongemotionslikeanger,sadnessetc. thoughpainfulareanaturalandhealthypartofgrief· Beawarethatconcentration,energylevels,productivityand relationshipswithco-workerscanbetemporarilyaffected · Offersupport· Bepatient· Knowthatgriefgoesonforalotlongerthanyoumight think

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Don’t· Minimisetheimpactoftheloss· Reassurewhenwhatisneededispermissiontosharegrief· Limitthetimeinwhichsupportisgiven· Expectthebereavedcolleaguetobe‘backtonormal’quickly· Pressurisethemtogetonwithworkthatisnotessential

AsaManagerorSupervisoritisimportanttomaintainfrequent,andpreferablyuninterruptedcontactintheearlydays.A‘howisitgoing?’meetingisusuallybestattheendoftheshift,dayorweek,sothatifthepersonbecomesupsettheydonotneedtogobacktowork.

TheManagershouldnotforcethingsbutmakeitclearthatitisfinetotalkaboutwhattheyarefindingmostdifficultat,or outside,work.

Thelevelofsupportavailablefromfamily,friendsandothers outsidetheOrganisationshouldbeascertained.Ifextrasupport isneededtheManagershouldensurethatthebereavedstaff memberisawareofthesupportsavailablewithinthe Organisatione.g.· TheDesignatedContactPeople-BereavementSupport· TheStaffSupportService· TheHumanResourcesSection(ContactdetailsforalloftheaboveareavailablethroughHumanResources.)

SupportingabereavedmemberofstaffcanbedifficultandemotionalformanagersandcolleaguesandstaffshouldbeawarethattheStaffSupportServiceisalsotheretoprovidesupportforthemifitisneeded.

• LongtermsupportItisimportantthatsupportisnotwithdrawnsuddenly.Regularoradhocmeetingscanbegraduallylessfrequentandmaybequitelowkeyorintegratedintoothermeetingsbuttheyareanimportantmeansofcheckinghowthememberofstaffis coping.

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Bereavementcounsellingishelpfulforsomebutitiscertainlynotrelevanttoeveryoneandshouldnotusuallybethefirstportofcall.Theneedforitmaynotemergeuntilsomemonthsafteradeathorevenlonger,ifatall.

TheDesignatedContactPeopleand/orStaffSupportServicecanassistwithreferraltoappropriateservicesifthisbecomesnecessary.

Wherepossibleacknowledgeimportantanniversariessuitablyandsensitively.

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4. Breaking Bad News

Ingeneral,everyeffortshouldbemadetoensurethemost appropriatepersonbreaksthenewsofadeathinthemost appropriateplace.However,occasionallyitmayfalltoaManagerorcolleaguetoinformamemberofstaffofthedeathofhis/herrelativeortoinformarelativeofastaffmembersdeathorto informstaffmembersofthedeathofoneoftheircolleagues.Criticallythepersonassignedthetaskshouldbewillingand reasonablycomfortableintakingiton.

Thisisadifficulttaskforeveryoneinvolvedanditisimportanttoprepareproperlybeforemeetingthebereavedpersonorpeople.Thefollowingmaybehelpfultoconsider:· Thinkaboutwhomyouwillbetalkingtoandpractisewhat youaregoingtosay· Askanotherpersonthatyoutrustandfeelcomfortablewith toaccompanyyou· Ensurethatyouuseaprivateplace,whichiscomfortable andsuitableforthepurpose· Makesurethatyouhavethedetailscorrectandthatthe informationyouaregivingisaccurate· Beclearandhonestanddonotuseeuphemismslike ‘passedon’· Allowtimeforwhatyouaresayingtosinkinanddonot rush· Prepareyourselfforthepossiblereactionsofthestaff member(s)/relative(s)fromupsetanddistressthroughto calm· Allowthemtimetoexpresstheirreactiontothenewsand bepatient· ConveyyourownandtheLocalAuthorities’sympathyat their loss· AssurethemthattheLocalAuthoritywillbesupportivein whateverwayitcan· Ifthestaffmemberisonsiteprovidetransportforthemto wherevertheyneedtogoastheymaybeinshock· Ensurethattheydonottravelaloneandiftheydonothave apreferenceforaparticularpersontoaccompanythem appointsomeone· Finally,beawarethatthisisdifficultforyoutooandensure thatyouhaveadequatesupport

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5.Deathsaffectingtheworkgroup

Sometypesofdeathsmayhaveaparticularlypowerfulimpactoncolleaguesindividuallyorasagroupe.g.

• Thedeathofachildoryoungperson• Aviolentdeath• Thedeathofaworkingcolleagueorrecentlyretiredstaff member• Adeathoccurringatwork• Adeathbysuicide

ItisimportantthatanystaffmemberwhobecomesawareofthedeathofacolleagueinformstheirSupervisororManager.The SupervisororManagershouldtheninformtheirDirectorof ServicesorEngineer.ThisallowstheDirectororEngineertoinformHumanResourcesandforbothtoensurethatthereisan appropriateresponsethereafter.TheWicklowLocalAuthoritiesBereavementPolicyguidesthisresponseinawaythatproperlyacknowledgesthelossandsupportsthebereaved.

HumanResourceswillcirculatenotificationofthedeathofthestaffmembertocolleaguesanddetailsoftheremovalandfuneral.Staffwishingtoattendtheremovaland/orfuneralshouldbefacilitatedwhereverpossible.

Itisimportantthatstaffaregivenanopportunitytoformallyorinformallydiscussadeathofthisnaturesothattheycanexpresstheirsenseofgrieforloss.Ifthelossaffectsaspecificgroupofstaffitisagoodideatofacilitatethegrouptohavethese discussionstogether.Theymaywishtomakedecisionsinrelationtoimmediatearrangementsandalsofutureresponsescollectively.Thebereavementwillalsoaffectindividualmembersofthegroupindifferentwaysdependingontheirownhistoryofbereavementandrelationships.Insomecasesitmaybehelpfultoseekthesupportofanexternalconsultantorcounsellorwhocanfacilitatethegroupanditsindividualmembersinanumberofways.

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6.‘Difficult’orTraumaticDeath

Adeathofthisnature,whichmayincludeasudden,unanticipateddeath,aviolentdeathoradeathbysuicide,canpresentthesamedifficultiesasanotherbereavementbuttheintensityofthefactsaboutthedeathcanheightentheemotionalresponse.Thisis normalandnotsomethingtobediscouragedorfeared.Howeveritisimportanttobeawarethateventsofthisnaturehavethe potentialtocreatesignificantdistressandcanoverwhelmtheusualcopingmechanismsofthoseinvolved.

Atraumaticincidentofthisnatureisoutsidetherangeofusualhumanexperienceandcancauseunusuallystrongemotional reactions.Itmayimpedepeoplescopingmechanismsimmediatelyorinthefuturefollowinganeventanditmayimpairtheirabilitytoadjustandimpactnegativelyontheirwork.

Examplesofthistypeoftraumawouldbethedeathorseriousinjuryofastaffmemberoramemberofthepublicwherestaffmemberswerepresent.Ifsuchadeathoccurswithintheworkingenvironmentitmay necessitateaCriticalIncidentStressManagementresponse.InsuchacasetheOrganisations’HumanResourcesSectionshouldbecontactedasquicklyaspossibleinordertoensurethat appropriatesupportsareavailable.

7. Being Prepared

Itisinevitablethatdeathswillimpactontheworkplacefromtimetotime.IfatallpossibleManagersandSupervisorsshouldpreparethemselvestosupporttheirstaffthroughbereavementand subsequentgriefbyraisingtheirownawareness.TheWicklow LocalAuthoritiesBereavementPolicyandvarioussupporting documentsareavailablefromtheHumanResourcesSection.‘Griefatwork’trainingisalsoavailableonrequest.Managersand Supervisorsshouldthemselvesbeawarethatprovidingsupporttoabereavedmemberofstaffcanbedifficultandthatthe supportstructureswithintheorganisation,suchastheStaff SupportService,aretheretosupportthemtoo.

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Notes

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